My darling U,

I write this letter ,not to orchestrate politeness ,to return the favour ,given that I have not written of
my tempestuous love for u for so long.I write it of a knawing need.otherwise,I will drown in the sea
of my emotions.In a sense ,I was all alone ,before u walked into my life , a gentle murmur at first,a
roaring need at some point n finally all that but more.Somebody ,I am ready to wait for,for
centuries.If it is in the realms of fancy science [a lot of it springing from my ideas],I might yet have u
in the mists of time.or some revolutions of the wheel of time.i wish there were some way ,so that
this hope was not supported on the soaring arches of yet conjectural science.So that ,u could share
in my otherworldly hopes too.For instance,if I had a lock of ur hair.So that,I cld clone u in a lab [long
after u are gone[since I am serious abt life extension n might just succeed][dont worry,I am no
stalker,love makes u say the most inappropriate things].So that,even though, you would be free.still
,all the obstacles that exist in realizing our love would not exist.So tht,u could be mine too ,as well as
anybody elses.
You know about, how much of my life had been horrid. I had filled with hate,venom.But,long before
I met u,I had risen like a phoenix from the ashes.I had created a neat box.a box ,in which I fit my
life. My maths,my general pursuit of learning,my family n lust.A lust for voluptuous ,beautiful
female bodies.then,you entered my life seredipitously.As a stray tweet among serious political
comments or emotional tripe[people slying,fighting etc.,a s is their wont on twitter].A breath of
fresh air.Over time,I became intrigued by you.Sure,you were a little ditzy.Drunk on love n so open
about your feelings.also pretty.But,clearly ,you were brainy too.That got me.Over time ,I developed
lustful feelings for you.Because love????!!!!!,romantic love????!!!!!!.What was that?But,you had
started creeping into my soul already.Your declarations of longing,desire for love had become
symphonies for me now.however,in my Olympian self concept,I treated u as an intrusion,a crazy
beauty ,an apsara disturbing the sages penance.somebody to be toyed with. I
transgressed,transgressed badly.Also,u had eavesdropped on my experiments with truth.But,yet,u
reacted with calm,with so much grace.I kept away for a while,but had started falling for u even
more.You were no longer just a mist slowly seeping into my soul.You were a river in flood ,a bird of
prey,sweeping,taking my heart away from me.I tried to rationalize it all.by trying to convert it into
lust.But,always ,there was something missing.I had started feeling incomplete.You had stolen me
from myself.All these new feelings.All the certitudes of the past sundered in the quicksands of
what?yes,what?I called it love.But,I had never known that.The heart beating faster,wanting to check
on your thread,before I brushed,the maths symbols morphing into your hair,maybe your beautiful
face n other delights .Ye GADS!wht was this blackhole tht I was falling into?
I resisted .I fought.i fought with all that I had.I engaged in absurd contortions trying to end
this.Tried to be a scarecrow,to you and to myself.But,to no avail.your soul ,your beautiful slender
fingers reached out to me across space n time.i was no longer just myself.I had somehow united
with you.You had become kali to my shiva.
The only travesty was that,I could not hold u in my arms.to rain fierce kisses on ur beautiful red
lips.to make love to u again n again.to guide you to peaks of pleasure repeatedly .To leave my marks
on ur body[I do not say this anymore,having arrived at a much more enlightened understanding
sometime ago.but,I understand fully,why.the rigidities in our society].But,you had also changed
me.You had started slaying the demons of my lust.You had started to replace it with love.As I finally

admitted to myself.As I genuflected before you,my goddess.Asked you to join me on kailasha

forever.Today,in my dreams ,my fantasies,the kisses that I had disdained occupy prime time.The
kisses that I had grudged.Because,they diverted attention from my desire to ravish ,to possess,to
lord over humanity.The kisses that opened me up.the kisses tht made me vulnerable.Today,in my
dreams n fantasies,I very often only kiss.the other things are the necessary bits.
Yes,my love ,I have been reborn in ur arms.You serve as my shores today.The 1 end ur gentle ,loving
self.The other,your mad passionate self.I am content today to be a river gently flowing between
them.I am no longer in any hurry.To flood with ferocity ,only when you desire.Yet,to make love to u
if you so wish.To make love to you as many times ,as u desire ,even if I die trying.
Yet,I might be asleep[because I might as well be be asleep ,if I am not present] for long periods.Life
comes in the way.I might seem to have deserted you.I assure you,that is not possible.You are the
shunya,the original singularity of my universe of love.You have converted every romantic
relationship that,i will ever have ,into a menage de trois.I am always around you,in you.In my
sleep,I extend to you, my arms across space and time.

I ask you to join me in my dreams.

With love and longing,
Till you are finally in my arms.