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Ikleyvey
Ikleyvey
hiding the torn piece, and Ikleyvey's name was last on the previous
page. "Well, time to find the page. Unless the killer took it, which is
more than likely and we'll have nothing to go on and will have to
explain to the police why our traces are all over the place. Which is to
say, we need to come up with a story why he wrote my damn name in
blood. Or," ,he said with a pause, "we could just erase that, remove our
traces and be on our merry way." "No.", said Ikleyvey, a determined
look on her face. "I want to get to the bottom of this." She came to the
table looked around, and then picked up the exorcism book. "Look,
there's something underneath here." Dindomir came closer. It was a
small box, with a combination code. "Well how about that. Wonder
what's inside. That's four digits. A birthday?" "Probably." Ikleyvey
entered the birthday of the professor, then of his ex-wife, then of his
daughter. She found all these in the record book on the first page.
Suddenly Dindomir's face shined with an enlightening smile. "Put in
your birthday. Maybe it's for us." It was. They opened the box. Inside
was a folded page from the record book. The date was today. And it
wrote : 2PM: THE DEVIL
"Well...hell. Literally.", said Dindomir."But this is just half the page, let's
check the other half." Ikleyvey turned the page over and it wrote JOHN
COLLINS. "Hey, I know that name.", said Dindomir. "He's a small time
lawyer. He's also an information broker for small time criminals. What
the hell does he have to do with this." "I don't know, but we're checking
it out." "WE?" said Dindomir with a very surprised look. "Your job here
is done, doc. There's no way I'm letting traipse about guys like Collins.
That's my territory." "I'll have you know," said Ikleyvey proudly and
slightly annoyed "that I have a black belt in Aikido." "Damn. I'm
impressed. No sarcasm, I really am. But the guys Collins hangs around
don't fight hand to hand, at least not fairly or unless its three to one,
preferably the only one." "This isn't open to discussion, Mr. Eagleshield.
Abercombe was a dear friend and I'm going to be into this every step of
the way. Besides, if I don't go, you don't get paid. Are we clear?"
"Crystal.", said Dindomir with a slightly angry look on his face, "but I'm
not responsible for you. You get hurt, it's on your head." "Fine. I'm
ready. Let's go see this mister Collins.
They entered Collins' crowded lobby at 5pm. It was full of unsavory
characters, and very filthy. Dindomir went to the receptionist and said:
"Dindomir Eagleshield. Say it's urgent." The receptionist just nodded
and made the appropriate call. After an hour of waiting, the
receptionist finally called them up. They came into the office, where
they saw Collins' pretty boy face. "Dindomir, my friend!", said Collins
with a fake smile, "what can I do for you?" "Abercombe. Everything.
Now." "Come now, is that the way to deal. Besides I don't know any
professor Aberco...", his smile faded."Shit." "You never were the
sharpest knife in the drawer, Johnny boy. Now Spill it." Suddenly Collins
sat down and opened his drawer, meanwhile pressing a button on his
desk. Two rather big fellows in suits came in behind Dindomir and
Ikleyvey and stood there nonchalantly. "If you will, gentlemen, escort
these people of the premises. At that moment, Dindomir clocked the
thug on the right straight between the eyes. A moment later, Ikleyvey
struck the other one in the throat with the heel of her hand. Both thugs
collapsed to the floor, and they didn't look like they were getting up
any time soon. When Dindomir and Ikleyvey turned around however,
they saw John with a Derringer pistol in his hand. "I have every right to
shoot you right here, Dindomir. You barged in my office, assaulted my
staff. No jury would convict..." but he didn't finish the sentence,
because Dindomir jumped on the table and kicked the gun out of his
hand. The gun fired once. Then Dindomir kicked John in the head, so he
fell down and hit his head on the window, cracking it. Dindomir jumped
down and grabbed him by the collar. "Talk.", he said with a very, very,
still look on his face. "OK,OK" , said John in a panicked voice. "The
professor came to me a few days ago looking for Jonesy Myles. I told
him that he didn't want to know Jonesy, and he went away. That's all I
know, I swear!" "Ok, I believe you. But if you lied..." "Yeah, yeah, I know
tough..." Dindomir slapped him a bit, and he shut up. "I trust you are
not going to report this to someone?" Collins just nodded. Dindomir got
up and went for the door. "We're done here, Ikley, let's go." Ikleyvey
went after him and they went out of the building. "Ikley?" , said
Ikleyvey. "Yeah, your name is a bit tough on the tongue. Do you mind?"
"No, I don't." And she was slightly surprised by that fact. "Good job with
that heel strike. You really are good.", said Dindomir lighting a
cigarette. "You're not bad yourself. But tell me, why did you charge at
him like that? He could have shot you dead." "I suffered from a severe
case of depression a few years back. I've been a bit suicidal since.
Besides, I really wanted to punch the guy." They stood there in silence
for a while. Then Ikleyvey said : "So are we going to this Jonesy
character?" "Hell no. Not without some preparation. Jonesy is the
leader of the Brothers Blue, one of the toughest gangs in the Bronx. But
I can pull a few favors, see if we can find something out. Go home. I'll
contact you when I have something, I promise." "All right. And
Dindomir... thank you for doing this." "Just another day at the office,
doc. Besides, I kinda like you, so... Anyway see you in a few days." "See
you." And with that they took separate cabs, both thinking of the other
on their ride home.
Two days later Ikleyvey got a call. "Hey Ikley, it's me, Dindomir. I got
something. Can't talk on the phone, come to my office." It was already
dark when she arrived to the cramped and messy place Dindomir called
his office. "All right," said Dindomir, "someone hired Jonesy and his
boys to investigate Abercombe, rough him up a little if necessary. But I
haven't figured out why, or who could have hired them, and there's no
way any of my contacts would have that information. We would have
to talk to one of his main lieutenants. That would normally be
impossible, but one of them got busted for possession of an illegal
firearm, a goddamn bazooka if my source wasn't kidding. Anyway,
there holding him at the 12th precinct. I have a friend there, detective
Kevin Ryan. I helped him out in the past, like really helped him out. It's
an interesting story if you want to hear." "Just the short version.", said
Ikleyvey with an amused smile. "Yeah well, I was working on this
identity theft case, and it turned out the perp was some homicidal
maniac. I tracked him down and we started shooting at each other, real
street style. Then, in comes Ryan with the entire damn SWAT team and
they take him out. The point is, they found him anyway, but it's always
good to have someone else exchange bullets with your target." "And
that's the short version?", said Ikleyvey, mock annoyed. Dindomir
smiled and continued. "Anyway, he's given me prime time with this
lieutenant . We can go there now." "Let's. I never interrogated
someone, could be fun." They went outside, leaving behind the
fragrance of smokes and perfume.
When they entered the station, it was crowded. People were all over
shouting and cursing, cops leading people in handcuffs around.
Dindomir and Ikleyvey went to the front desk, where Dindomir asked
for Ryan. A few minutes later Ryan came out of the elevator.
scared look on his face. "I might be Irish but I never believed in that
possession stuff..." "There is no reason to believe now.", said Ikleyvey,
clearly shocked but trying not to show. "There's a perfectly reasonable
explanation for all this. He could have used micro speakers and
someone could have prepared the room. That said, our job here is
done. Let's go Dind." "Castle will go crazy when I tell him of this.", said
Ryan still staring at the unconscious thug. "Hey, Ryan, thanks again. It
was real helpful. Sorry about whatever the hell this is." "No problem,
my friend. Buy me a drink at the Haunt and we're square." He then
went to try to revive the thug, and Dindomir and Ikleyvey exited the
room. "Dind?", said Dindomir, smile on his face. "Do you mind?", asked
Ikleyvey slightly nervous. "Not at all. All my friends call me Dind. So, I'll
try to dig something up about this Swoons character. Call you
tomorrow." "Make sure that you do."
He called tomorrow at noon. "Ikley, I got him. He's an antiquarian. He
has a shop in Brooklyn. We can go there today, it should still be open."
"Ok, Dind. Should we meet up, or should we go directly there?" "Let's
go directly. No reason to waste time and money. See you there?" "See
you." With that she hung up and got herself ready.
They got there at two. It was a small antiquary shop, nestled between a
butcher and barber, real old school. They went inside and where
greeted by a crowded shop filled with old guns, swords, axes, armor
and the like, and by a 4'6'' stocky owner. He looked like he just popped
off the Desolation of Smaug, with his braided beard and bald head. He
smiled broadly and said, in a strong Welsh accent: "Drain Swoons, at
your service. What may I do for you on this fine day?" Ikleyvey, as
usual, decided to let Dindomir do the talking. "I am honored to be in
the presence of such a fine gentleman. We are here about a certain
woman. Ikleyvey approached. "We will awake him now. We want the
first face he sees be yours. Are you ready?", said the ageless lady.
Ikleyvey now noticed she had pointed ears. She steadied herself and
said: "I'm ready." The trio moved away from the pedestal and Ikleyvey
approached. As soon as she stood on the pedestal, Dindomir opened
his eyes. "It's a dream right? We got the killer, gotten ourselves drunk
and it was all a dream, right? Aw, hell I know it's not, why the fuck am I
asking. Oh fuck, oh fu..." Ikleyvey came in closer and grabbed his
shoulders. "Dind, take it easy. I'm here. These people will help us."
"You're right. I feel them helping already. I feel calmer. I fell calm. Like
steady water. Nice clean, forest stream...Oh who am I kidding, IM THE
FUCKING ANTICHRIST! It's okay, it's okay, I just needed to get that out
of my system." "We will help you, lad, you can be sure about that. We
dug through your head a bit while you were sleeping, just to see what
calms you down. Turns out it's guns, and doctor Ikleyvey. So, there she
is, and here's one. I present to you the Mighty Righteous Sawed-off
Shotgun." It looked like a regular double barrel shotgun, but it was clear
to the viewer that it was the most beautiful shotgun ever made, with
silver etching on the barrel, and a beautiful shortened stock. "It was
supposed to be the Mighty Righteous Shotgun, but the damn gnome
ran out of adamantium. That's right, lad, it's an adamantium gun,
nothing can break it. It will send any lesser demon back to hell in one
shot, and the mightier ones in two." "Thank you," said Dindomir, "that
really does calm me down. And it looks like I can easily hide it in a
coat." Now the old woman stepped up. "Young man, we are here to
help you, but you must help us. Now that the Adversary knows we
know who you are, we must use all power we have to keep you hidden.
We could unleash full power and fight the demons, but that would be
here." "Hello, my good man", said Dindomir. "We are looking for Sheriff
Bigby Wolf. Is he here?" "You know about... I mean yes he is here. I will
take you to him." The janitor seemed odd to Ikleyvey, like he was
extremely surprised they were even here, let alone that they know
about this Bigby character. But nevertheless he led them in the
elevator, and up to the twentieth floor and showed in a small office. It
looked almost exactly like Dindomir's one, except Bigby's cigars smelled
much, much worse. The janitor said :"Sheriff, two people are here to
see you. They asked specifically for you. They are not Fable folk." "How
the hell..." This came from an unshaved man with shoulder length hair,
in a light grey shirt with a dark grey tie. He was holding a pack of the
Huff and Puff cigar brand, probably the worst brand on the market.
Dindomir stepped up and said :"We may not be Fable folk, whatever
that may be, but we have been sent by elves and dwarves to ask for
your help specifically." "Help with what? And who are you?" "This is
Ikleyvey Lazarian, PhD in physics. I'm Dindomir Eagleshield, full time
private eye and part time Antichrist." A look of understanding went
across Bigby's face. "So you're the descendant. But I'm not sure why I
should help you. We have taken back the Homelands. Me, Fly and
Grimble are here for old times sake to clear some things up." "It would
seem you have us at a disadvantage, mister Wolf.", said Ikleyvey What
is this homeland, and what are Fable folk?" Bigby sat down in his chair,
took a few puffs off his cigar and looked thoughtful. Then he looked up.
"I suppose there's no harm in telling. The world is coming to an end one
way or another. We are all characters from tales humans have made up
since the dawn of time. We were driven from the Homelands, our
Homelands, by the Adversary, a different Adversary, mind you, and
forced us to settle here in New York, New Amsterdam back then. But
and they started running. Ikleyvey started running after them, the
Webley Drain gave her weighing heavy in her zipper bag. She saw the
janitor called Fly give a coat to Dindomir, and in the coat was the sawed
off shotgun. Dindomir took on the coat, and in that instant he looked
really cool. But there was no time for coolness. They all got on the
elevator and the five of them exited the building. While they were still
in the building she saw the council members teleporting to wherever
their troops were stationed. When they were out of the building they
looked up at the sky. It was and silver, the pure blood of the fighting
angels, and fiery red, the boiling blood of the savage demons.
Armageddon had come! "We need to get to the Woodlands!",shouted
Bigby. "There's a portal to the Homelands there! There we'll be safe,
this bunch has it covered now that Geppetto's Satan is weakened."
"No! This is my world! I will stay and fight! I have the Mighty Righteous
Sawed off Shotgun! And besides, I'm still a bit suicidal, not having the
love of my life and all that." With that he looked at Ikleyvey, but she
assumed he was joking. "Aw what the hell!", shouted Bigby. "Fly, grab
the wheel! Grimble, get on the M10!" probably referring to the twin
chain gun that magically appeared on the top of a nearby open to limo.
Bigby was going full frontal werewolf now, ripping his shirt and
trousers. "I'm riding shotgun! Pun intended!" Shouted Dindomir and
got in. Bigby suddenly grabbed Ikleyvey and seated her relatively gently
in the car, and jumped on the back seat. Ikleyvey took out her revolver,
saw that it was loaded and got herself ready. "Fly! Get us to Times
Square!" shouted Bigby, his voice a growl. And they were off. They
were driving through the streets, Grimble shooting at the flying
demons, while Bigby and Dindomir cut down those who got close.
There was chaos in the streets, people shooting demons, shooting each
Not exactly the best speech in human history, but then again, all the
great speakers had time to prepare. This was from the moment. From
the heart.
And then it all stopped. All the people left were her, Dindomir, Bigby
and an old man in a sweater with grey hair and glasses. "Geppetto!",
growled Bigby. Dindomir fired a shot at the old the man, but the shot
simply disappeared. "He is protected by magic!" growled Bigby. "Not
even the Vorpal Sword could break the enchantment, and it beheads
anything it touches. Let's listen to what he has to say." "Wise words,
Bigby." ,said Geppetto in a calm, pleasant voice. "Dindomir. Ikleyvey.
Step forward." They did as they were told. "You see, I'm invincible.
Nothing can ever kill me, and nothing ever will. Bigby is near invincible,
but shoot him with some silver or set him on fire and he's gone. But you
two, you are very mortal. You see, I have here a small hand crossbow.
It's practically useless, it would have to hit you straight in the heart to
kill. And because I am omnipotent and invincible, I will do just that.
Shoot the two of you through the heart. Oh, I will lose, no doubt about
that, my Satan isn't even second rate. But you two won't be there to
see it. Now I will aim for the girl. The hopelessly in love boy will stand in
front of her. He has no armor. The way to the heart is clear. I will shoot
him. And as he falls ,a and as she is kneeling next to his dead body, I will
step in, take the bolt and shoot her in the heart. Bigby can't stop me,
I'm omnipotent." "No fortress is impregnable." said Dindomir in a calm
voice. "Ah, but I'm not a fortress. Now goodbye, Antichrist." He fired
the bolt. It soared through the air. He was standing in front of her,
hopelessly in love, protecting her. The bolt struck. In her hand. "Not this
time, Geppetto. You forgot who made you. We did. And we will
unmake you." Then she realized it, an idea, almost like a gift from god.
"Dind, take off your top clothes." "I'm curious as to what you are doing,
so I will allow it." said Geppetto. Dindomir stripped to his bare torso. He
wasn't exactly in shape, he had some 220 pounds, and it was not pure
muscle. Then Ikleyvey stood behind. She took the bolt out of her arm.
And she started drawing on Dindomir's back. "OH GOD!" shouted
Geppetto. "SHE'S A CREATOR! KILL HER!" Suddenly it was all real again,
the Times Square battle. Soldiers, angels, knights, devils where all
around killing each other. Bigby turned into his real form, a giant wolf,
and Ikleyvey finally understood who he was. He was BIGBy, the Big Bad
Wolf from the tales. And what does he do? He Huffs....and Puffs. Bigby
unleashed all the winds of the world, and everything started flying. The
only thing real were Dindomir and Ikleyvey, drawing on his back. "Does
it hurt?" she asked. "No. Not a little bit. Creativity doesn't hurt. If it
hurts, you're not doing it right." And then she was finished. She drew
conflict. All conflict. The Times Square Battle. The T34 ramming a Tiger
tank. Emile and Freddy fighting the Baron. Castle and Beckett fighting
crime. Danilo Kartalovic struggling through depression. Frodo throwing
the Ring into Mount Doom. A mother giving birth to a baby. Leaves
growing. The universe revolving. All conflict. "Is this it?" asked Ikleyvey.
"Almost." replied Dindomir. "I love you Ikleyvey."