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Nicole Callihan To Joanna Fuhrman
Nicole Callihan To Joanna Fuhrman
I
guess
what
Im
trying
to
say
is
we
probably
should
have
gotten
tea.
At
the
very
least,
we
could
have
pointed
to
the
clouds
and
made
pictures.
There
was
another
year.
Remember?
It
was
not
the
year
the
city
was
an
obese
rabbit,
nor
the
year
of
muzzles
and
blossoms,
nor
of
Mona
Lisa
and
rain.
It
was
not
so
long
after
the
turn
of
the
century.
It
was
the
year
the
city
was
made
of
glass
cornflakes.
We
thought
it
would
break.
We
thought
the
crunching
would
drive
us
deaf
or
mad.
We
must
have
lived
a
handful
of
blocks
from
each
other.
We
must
have
run
into
each
other
on
the
street
or
at
the
gym.
We
must
have
shrugged
our
shoulders
under
the
terrible
sky.
We
must
have
mentioned
trying
to
get
tea.
But
I
remember
well
the
year
you
were
getting
married.
Bob?
Is
that
his
name?
I
only
know
it
from
the
poems.
I
remember
panting
from
the
elliptical
and
gushing
on
and
on
about
Martha
Stewart
wedding
magazines.
Youve
gotta
get
them,
I
must
have
said
too
loud.
Joanna,
I
am
a
total
sucker
for
that
crap:
lavender
sprigs
in
jelly
jars,
hand-painted
signs
with
backwards
Rs,
the
whole
lot,
and
maybe
because
Im
such
a
sucker
what
Im
getting
ready
to
say
is
going
to
embarrass
you,
but
when
I
woke
up
in
The
Year
of
Yellow
Butterflies
I
experienced
this
sort
of
poetic
synesthesia
where
I
became
you
and
you
became
her
and
she
became
me,
and
it
felt
so
good
and
so
right,
and
I
kind
of
wanted
to
sing,
and
maybe
I
did
a
little.
So
thank
you.
Also,
I
want
to
say
I
am
so
sorry
about
your
friend
dying.
I
wanted
to
crawl
inside
of
that
poem
and
sit
on
the
couch
of
it
listening
to
the
party
music,
and
I
wanted
to
lean
over
and
hug
you.
I
had
been
so
taken
by
her,
your
friend,
her
struggles
with
drinking,
her
rum
punch
in
a
martini
glass,
her
rented
home
and
wild
animals,
and
then
she
was
dead.
I
guess
thats
what
happens
to
these
bodies.
After
I
finished
your
book,
I
went
back
to
look
for
the
metaphor
of
the
yellow
butterflies.
I
was
sure
I
had
missed
it,
something
about
them
yellowing,
about
their
early
deaths
or
genetic
similarities
to
walruses
or
ability
to
love
without
judgment,
but
there
was
nothing.
I
like
to
imagine
that
they
flew
around
you
as
you
Yoga-Booty-Balleted,
Joanna,
all
the
yellow
and
yelling,
a
nest
of
beauty
and
wings.
I
hope
that
you
are
well.
The
neighborhood
is
different
without
you.
Or
maybe
I
should
say,
now
that
Ive
found
you
in
these
poems,
the
neighborhood
would
be
different
if
you
were
still
here.
Me,
I
tend
to
my
goat
and
my
children.
We
wander
the
streets
in
our
bodiesgoat-body,
girl
bodies,
middle-aged
body
and
sup
on
plums.
The
cartoon
bubble
leaving
my
mouth
is
empty,
except
for
a
wandering
comma
shaped
like
a
tear.
Do
you
know
what
I
mean?
Of
course
you
do.
N.