Schools Are Terrible

8/14/2015
The6DumbestThingsSchoolsAreDoingintheNameofSafety|Cracked.com
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The 6 Dumbest Things Schools Are Doing in the Name of Safety
The 6 Dumbest Things Schools Are Doing

in the Name of Safety
By Sara J., Steve Blair | August 14, 2011 | 1,891,442 views
#3. Banning All Outside Food
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Ask a bunch of kids what their favorite part of the school day is and almost all of them will either say
lunch or recess. Many schools have already ruined recess by banning tag and other "contact sports,"
so naturally the next step is to ruin lunch. Some schools manage to do this while providing a semi-valid
reason like allergies or kids bringing items purchased from an erotic bakery, but one Chicago school
decided they must ban all food brought from home to protect students from their own (or in most
cases, their parents') bad decisions.
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The principal of Little Village Academy in Chicago said she was tired of seeing kids bring soda and
"flaming hot chips" on field trips. Instead of realizing that students don't go on field trips every day and
probably don't always eat this way, she decided to do what any rational school administrator would do
-- ban all food.
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Expulsions, detentions and general child movement went down 300 percent.
No, not really. But she did decide to ban all food brought from home, which is kind of the same thing
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for those students who realize that school cafeteria food is one step above what you get in a hospital.
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She did say she makes exceptions for students with allergies, but there doesn't seem to be much hope
for students unfortunate enough to have healthy immune systems.
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This ban has actually been in effect for six years, so why is this just now making the news? It might
have something to do with the fact that the school recently changed their lunch menu to add healthier
04
(read: more disgusting) food. However, they admit that they've seen a dropoff in what they call "meal
participation" this year, as students would rather go hungry than eat the horror that has been set
before them.
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Nothing teaches a kid about life like square pizza and soggy tater tots.
#2. Forcing Students to Wear Prison Jumpsuits for Dress Code

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Dress codes arguably have a necessary purpose in schools, particularly in terms of trying to lessen
distractions in a classroom or solve issues with kids stealing from other kids. However, figuring out how
to enforce a dress code can be a difficult; after all, kids are going to be kids, and the more you try to
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enforce it, the more they want to push the envelope. "You said I had to wear pants, you didn't say they
couldn't be assless."
Therefore, a school in, yet again, Texas, decided to try a new tactic: make a public example of the
students who violate the dress code. How? By making them wear prison jumpsuits.
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And what, exactly, constitutes a violation of the dress code at Gonzales High School? The obvious
stuff, like wearing clothes that expose underwear. But how about cargo pants, baggy pants or T-shirts?
In other words, if you look like a normal member of the community, you could be violating the school
dress code and will be forced to dress like an inmate. No more dress code distractions in class now!
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Of course, this whole system means that the students would have to experience some shame and
ridicule wearing the jumpsuits for it to be effective ... which is the exact opposite of what happened.
According to one student, "I talked to some of my friends about it and they said they are not going to
obey the dress code just so they can wear the jumpsuit."
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Maybe your 10-year-old kid decides one day it would be funny if he tossed some spit wads at the kid in
the front row of the classroom, or to stuff a classmate into a locker. Of course, your kid may get caught
and face a reprimand. Maybe he would have to spend some time in detention. Maybe he'd have to see
the principal. Or maybe he'd have to pay a $500 fine.
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Now, this might make some kind of sense if most of the between 4,000 and 6,000 students who were
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ticketed since 2005 were high schoolers. After all, high school kids are almost adults, and the bad stuff
they do is probably more along the lines of fighting and vandalism than making faces at a teacher. But
that isn't the case. Many of the tickets are being written for elementary school kids, such as the 92
criminal citations given to 10-year-olds in Dallas in 2006 and 2007. Several districts ticketed kids as
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Since the police are writing the tickets, the schools are out of the loop. That's right: Your 10-year-old
kid gets a ticket, he gets to go to court and talk to a judge about why he was swearing. Between court
costs and having to take time off work to drive the juvenile delinquents down to the court house to
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explain why they were being ... er ... kids, it's costing parents a lot more than the fines, even if some of
those are commuted to community service.
Getty
Which, frankly, is useless, as kids are terrible at manual labor.
In one documented case, a teenager was forced to pay $637 for the ticket and court costs, and at least
one other parent wound up paying around $1,500 in tickets.
Getty
"I started my life of crime by giving wedgies to nerds behind the science block."
But hey, at least it works, right? Eh, not really. Houston ISD's Assistant Police Chief Victor Mitchell
notes, "Some kids, it doesn't even faze them. It's just a piece of paper. Some kids are concerned
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because they know their parents are going to be concerned. But some kids have become immune to
it."
Oh, they'll be concerned once we starting going with jail time for this shit.
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8/14/2015

FORUMS PERSONAL EXPERIENCES PHOTOPLASTY

6 Reasons You Can't Trust

5 Celebrity Feuds That Lasted

10 Gritty Reboots We Can't Stop

The 6 Dumbest Things Schools Are Doing in the Name of Safety

The 6 Dumbest Things Schools Are Doing

#3. Banning All Outside Food

The 5 Most Unsettling

The 6 Dumbest Things

The 6 Most Horrifying Real

6 Dumb Aspects Of The Original

The 13 Most Insane Things

By Ted E., T. S. Obiech

5 Real 'Conspiracies' Confirmed

#2. Forcing Students to Wear Prison Jumpsuits for Dress Code

6 Painful Ad Fails You Won't

5 Maddening Things Poor People

5 Dumb Things I Saw (And Did)

5 Celebrities Way More

6 Insane Realities Of Life In A

#1. Deterring Bad Behavior by Issuing Stiff Fines

6 Reasons You Can't Trust

The Cracked Podcast

With Cracked Staff

With Howard Kremer

Top Dog: LIVE!

Ric Bic For President

With Tig Notaro Kyle

7 Creepy Jokes Hidden In Kids' Shows

Cough up, kid, or take up dealing.

By Tara Marie | 2015-08-13

5 Weirdly Specific BehindTheScenes

Recommended For Your Pleasure

16 Lessons You Wish They'd

The Worst Possible Thing to

The Truth About Romantic

Be Wearing at That Moment

The 7 Dumbest Things

The 6 Most Terrifying

5 Dumb Things Movie

Students Do When Cramming

Medical Malpractice Cases

Advance the Plot

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