Young Reporter: Are children growing up too fast today?

By Grimsby Telegraph
PRETTY much every child in today’s modern society will have some kind of access to
technology such as smartphones, tablets, laptops and Xboxes.
They’ve become slaves to the technological revolution, and this has only evolved extremely over
the last 10-15 years as even when I was a child becoming a teenager, technology was nowhere
near as advanced nor popular as it is today.
So could this be impacting the way children are now, compared to years ago?
The internet is an uncontrollable thing. Anyone can access inappropriate material on websites on
the internet or from a mobile phone, there are concerns of children being brought up in an over-
sexualised culture as anything is accessible, on purpose or even by accident such as pop up
advertisements.

Not only has the internet evolved, but gaming control systems have extremely violent games that
even though they have a rating of 18, children from ten onwards are able to play them from
having older siblings or their parents buying them games without realising the graphic content.
These games can include an excessive amount of detailed crime and gore, and sometimes include
sexual scenes.
Maybe this is one of the reasons children grow up quicker as they have witnessed adult and
mature scenes within these games.
Children, as they grow up, often want to be older than they are, or maybe even look older in
some circumstances.
I think that this has become a lot more prominent over the 21st century, possibly due to the
forever-developing media.
Today’s society may make children from early ages feel under pressure to act older than their
age, some parents have said they feel that girls worry about their appearance, and feel as though
they need to be covered in make-up at 13 years old as well as worrying about their weight from
childhood.
When adults today were children, would they have worn the amount of make-up girls do these
days?
It has changed drastically over the last 10-20 years or so if I compare it to when I was in Year 7
to some of the Year 7 girls now – the appearance is extremely different and it’s only a few years
difference.
I feel that both boys and girls are also under pressure to take an interest in sex at too young an
age, possibly due to the access to explicit material on the internet and the unrealistic expectations
this has on young people’s idea of sex and relationships.
However, there are also situations where children from the age of ten, and sometimes younger,
actually have to grow up faster than their peers and become more mature and responsible.
For example, young carers. There are actually a lot more young people acting as carers in our
area than you would think.
Nearly a quarter of a million children in England and Wales alone are caring for a relative.
Situations like this make these young people put elements of their childhood on hold to help and
care for a loved one, but they wouldn’t change their lives any other way.
Times have definitely changed, children are now influenced by the technology that is exposed to
them, what they see in the media as well as what is around them in their environment.
Teenagers may now become more disconnected from their families because of the technology
around today.
If you go out for a day with your family, you can look around you and see that the majority of
people, including children and teenagers, will be on some sort of technological device, even you
at some point – usually a smart phone.
This generation is the most technology proficient; we are all on social networking sites, young
people today might be perceived as a less sociable generation.
Instead of talking we’re tweeting, so is this rapidly-evolving technology one of the main factors
that makes children subconsciously grow up too fast?

Growing Up Too Fast?

By LISA BELKIN

Two stories in the Times over the past few days raise the same kinds of questions: How young is
too young? When did childhood become something to leapfrog through?

The first, an essay in the New York Times Magazine this past weekend by Peggy Orenstein, is
about homework in kindergarten. Orenstein concludes that it doesn’t help children later in life,
that it may in fact be harmful to learning, and that there has to be a stop to the trend of children
doing things younger and sooner.

“How did 5 become the new 7, anyway?” she asks, then doles out blame among parents, schools
that are “teaching to the test” and “what marketers refer to as KGOY — Kids Getting Older
Younger — their explanation for why 3-year-olds now play with toys that were initially intended
for middle-schoolers. (Since adults are staying younger older — 50 is the new 30! — our
children may soon surpass us in age.)”

It’s not just academics and toy preferences in which age creep is a problem. Teen singing stars
used to actually be teens. And sports used to be something young children did for fun, not profit.
Here, too, one has to wonder how much of the cause lies with the parents, who either actively
encourage their child or fail to discourage them from narrowing their lives at too young an age.
Yes, Tiger started young. But would he have lost any ground had he started later? And for every
Tiger, are there not countless other children who have burned out early because they leapt too
fast and too soon out of the gate?

In his book “Young Runners,” Marc Bloom responds to the question he says too many parents
(and he cops to this one himself) ask:

“Is your child a star? No. Doctors specializing in youth sports and child development say that,
despite what some parents may think, there is no such thing as an 8-, 9- or 10-year-old ‘star’ in
running. … True talent and commitment are not genuine before puberty.”

Which leads us to a second piece here in the Times this weekend, about race-car driver Macy
Causey — who is eight years old. “I like going fast,” the second grader told reporter Bill
Konigsberg, sounding an awful lot like Will Ferrell’s character in Talledega Nights, “and I like
spinning out.”

Macy drives a 550-pound Bandalero racecar, which stands less than three feet off the ground and
can reach speeds of 75 m.p.h., though speeds are restricted to 60 m.p.h. in the 8- to 15-year-old
class in which she competes.

Konigsberg paints a portrait of a child who loves her sport, and of parents who have given a lot
of thought to her safety. But he also tells stories of kids hitting walls and flipping cars during
these races. And he only hints at the question of whether fulfilling your lifelong dreams at the
age of eight is a prescription for a mid-life crisis shortly before puberty.

Today’s parents, critics tell us, are managing to mess up our kids in two contradictory yet
somehow simultaneous ways. On one hand, we push them to grow up too fast, proud that they
are reading before they are walking, pleased that they are taking college-level math in middle
school. On the other hand, we keep them from really growing up at all, helicoptering in to solve
all their problems well into young adulthood.

Is it possible that the answer lies, as most answers do, somewhere in the middle? Maybe if
childhood was time to be, well, a child, the rest might sort itself into place?

Kids These Days: Growing Up Too Fast Or Never At All?

On the cover of the April issue of The Atlantic there's a picture of a boy who could be 6 or 7.
He's looking to the right toward an adult, whose hand he's holding. He's also wearing a helmet
and knee pads. And — for further protection — he has a pillow strapped to his torso.
The cover art is for Hanna Rosin's article, "Hey Parents: Leave Those Kids Alone," about the
overprotected child.
In an interview with All Things Considered,  Rosin tells host Robert Siegel that she had long
wondered why statistics show that today's parents both work more and spend more time with
their children than previous generations. She says it has to do with the lack of independence
people allow their children these days.
"What's happened now is we've swung way too far in the other direction such that we've become
preoccupied with safety, and that's really having an effect on the culture of childhood so that
we're stripping children of their independence, of their ability to take risks, which are key to a
happy childhood," she says.

On too much supervision

[Kids] live with the assumption that they will always be watched. They look towards an adult if
they need to make any decision, if they need to know whether they should go anywhere; at the
playground they assume they're going to be watched. ... The assumption of being watched
changes your personality and your experience of childhood.

On letting kids manage their own risks

I think we have this assumption now that children can't manage their own risks; that a child does
not have the capacity to manage either a physical or an emotional risk unless we step in and
manage it for them. But there's something a little bit unnatural about that. I think the process of
growing up is the process of learning to manage those fears. When children used to play in
playgrounds, they used to do things that felt risky to them. And I said, felt risky. That doesn't
mean they were dangerous but they felt dangerous, and a child's sense of conquering that fear is
what allows them to feel competent and independent.
On "junk playgrounds" in the U.K.
They're called junk playgrounds, or sometimes adventure playgrounds. They were relatively
common in the 1940s in wartime U.K. and there they were kind of in tune with the parenting
norms, which is that children should be risky; they should grow up to be courageous and brave.
They've had a little bit of a revival lately and I went to visit one. It's remarkable by American
standards. Children are playing with old tires, they're playing with hammers, all kinds of sharp
tools, they're building fires all over the playground by themselves. ... Most parents would say
children should get burned and that would be the end of the conversation. You say risk, we hear
danger — risk and danger are not the same thing, in fact.
On what might happen to today's children
One sad thought I had while doing this is that we often say children grow up too fast, but maybe
they never get the chance to grow up at all — to take the necessary interim steps in order to feel
independent, in order to manage risk, in order to manage sadness. I love the close relationship I
have with my children. This is going to be a fine line we all try to walk without having a
suffocating or stifling relationship with them.

Are your children growing up too fast?

BY BRIGITTE ROZARIO

Children dressing up like adults; watching movies with sex scenes; and having the responsibility
of feeding and caring for their younger siblings.

Is this happening in your own family? Are your children being forced to grow up too fast?

Child developmentalist Ruth Liew asks, “Why do they have to look like little mini adults?”
She explains that she used to dress her own children in the most comfortable clothes that they
could run in and mess up because that's what childhood is all about – having fun and exploring.
Liew attributes children growing up too fast to parents being caught up in the rat race and
wanting to be ahead. According to her, it's not just happening in the cities.
Times have changed
Children today are influenced by what they see in the media, by the technology they are exposed
to, and what they see in the environment around them.
“I don't think we can ever reverse that. I think what we need to do is know the alternatives.
People in some countries are going back to the basics where they delay academic learning.
They're not rushing the kids to get through things.
“I guess we are all caught up in the rat race because we want to be more developed. But, we need
to know when to relax,” she adds.
While we may think it quite harmless, psychologists say there are effects and repercussions
involved.
Stage of development
Psychologist and family marriage therapist Ivy Tan says that according to renowned psychologist
Erik Erikson there are eight stages of development for humans, from infancy right up to death.
Each stage has its own challenges to be overcome.
Outcome: Teens need to develop a sense of self and personal identity. Success leads to an ability
to stay true to yourself, while failure leads to role confusion and a weak sense of self.
“Expecting, or imposing, too much too soon, can affect a child’s psychological, emotional and
social development – leading the child to become unable to cope healthily with difficulties,
stresses and challenges presented upon them. It is beyond their intuitive skills. This causes
unnecessary distress to the child,” she says, adding that this is already happening in our society.
As a result, more parents are seeking counselling for their children to manage their child’s so-
called “problem behaviours”.
For example, the ages of three to six is when the child learns through play. During this period,
children learn about co-operation, sharing and other skills.
If children are placed under stress too early in life, they may not be ready physically, socially or
psychologically to handle it.
Compared to a child who has had a “normal” childhood with the corresponding development at
each stage, a child who is always expected to be “matured”, may be unable to cope healthily in
this stage.
Why the rush?
According to Tan, a child who grows up too fast might feel inferior, doubting the future, feeling
incompetent and even shame for not being successful.
She explains that children are pressured to know so much more today than ever before. For
example, children are expected to know how to use YouTube. Parents have been known to boast
of their child's ability to navigate the Internet, including sites like YouTube. “What is society
trying to imply here? The young child is smart because he/she is a YouTube expert, when he/she
could become the Lego expert instead?
“There are adverse effects to exposing a child to the Internet at a young age. The Internet and
videogames play a huge role in the emotional, psychological and social development of a child.
Ultimately, what they learn is to let go of more personal connections with people.
“Teenagers are becoming more disconnected from their families and isolated emotionally as they
connect with the Internet and play games. Unsupervised responsibility causes stress on young
children. Intellectually, the child may be able to play the game, however, socially and
emotionally, the child may not be able to understand that it is not applicable in the real world.
This is also true for selecting games that are always age-appropriate for children to play, such as
PS3 and Xbox games,” says Tan.
She recommends parents not rush a child's growing up process.
Childhood provides children the time they need to mature and learn critical lessons. Without a
long enough childhood, children do not learn many important relationship and life skills.
“Children who are hurried out of childhood would miss out on a lot of the simple pleasures of
growing up, of innocent fun and happy experiences that they should be able to look back on
when they are adults,” adds Tan.
Slowing down
What can parents do to prevent kids from growing up too fast or even to slow it down?
* Clothes
Liew says that children's dressing is the easiest to deal with.
“Just give them something that's comfortable and suitable for this weather. And, let them
accessorise on their own,” she says.
* Balance
Tan advises parents to balance the need for “achieving independence” in childhood with
recognition that all children need to be nurtured according to their stage of development.
* Healthy family bonds
Children are still easily influenced by peers, celebrities and social media, therefore, a strong and
loving family who is in no hurry for the child to grow up is a far healthier source of influence to
prevent kids from growing up too fast.
“Kids with very good family relationships worry less about appearance and popularity issues,
including being pretty enough, experiencing pressure to have nice clothes, popularity with girls,
being too fat, or not being tall enough,” says Tan.
* Internet
Children given access to the Internet and videogames should be supervised. And, parents should
know when to set limits and when to just say “No”.
* Talk and listen
Liew believes that parents should talk to their kids, including about relationships and sex. She
says kids learn about these things from reading books, watching movies and from talking to their
friends. According to her, young children seek out relationships when there is no strong
relationship at home. The parent is not there to listen or doesn't have a strong bond with the
child.
Kids need occasional hugs growing up but they also want to be listened to and talked to as an
adult.
“Often, parents don't listen to their kids. You have to really actively listen. When you listen,
you're not judgmental,” says Liew.
Tan agrees, advising parents to listen to their children and their friends. Children should also
know that they are loved unconditionally, and not just because of their achievements.
* Safety
With regards to safety, Liew says parents still need to educate children about how to protect
themselves (age-appropriate information, of course). In this case parents can't protect them from
knowing that there are criminals in the world that they need to be wary of.
“These are things that are part and parcel of survival in the city. If you live in a small town where
everyone knows everyone, then it's a different set of rules. But, if you're living in the city, you
have educate them and teach them about safety. It's not about making them grow up too fast. It's
about empowering them to take care of themselves. We give them the skills to help them take
care of themselves,” she adds.
* Big no-no's
However, some of the big no-no's are children worrying about money, selling their toys and
cards to make money and even marriage.
“They shouldn't be wheeling and dealing. They should ask their parents if they want to buy
anything or sell anything.
“The child lying for the parent – that is another case of asking kids to grow up too fast.
“Another thing is getting kids married. If you want children to have a childhood, they shouldn't
get married.
“They shouldn't be thinking of marriage, making money or even what to do as an adult. Children
shouldn't have to worry about things that the parents are worrying about and they shouldn't have
to take care of their family and take on the role of the parent,” explains Liew.
Alarm bells
What are some of the warning signs that parents should look out for with regards to children
growing up too fast?
- Stress-related health problems such as anxiety, hyperactivity, eating and sleeping disorders, and
headaches and stomach problems.
- Look out for signs that what was fun is now hard work for the child. Extra-curricular is healthy
but too much can create distress for a young child. Hence, parents should not overschedule.
- Pay attention to the subtle changes in their children. For example, behavioural changes which
used to be typical of teens are now seen in kids aged eight to 12. Some of them are going on
dates and talking on their own mobile phones. They listen to sexually charged pop music, play
mature-rated video games, spend time gossiping on Facebook, request to wear makeup and
clothing that is beyond their years.
- Look out for symptoms of school burnout. Children who feel overloaded with coursework and
demands of school will try to find a way to relief their stress. Younger children may act out
while older ones play truant. Common consequences of mismanaged stress can be depression,
self-harm and eating disorders. Children will self-punish because they are convinced they are the
only ones disappointing and failing.
Conclusion
Liew believes it all comes down to how the parents and family see the children and treat them as
well as the expectations.
“Children will always be children. They can be children anywhere in the world. Kids in other
parts of the world have nothing and they're still kids. Sometimes we do too much to make kids
kids, to the extent that they are no longer kids. They have too much to do. You think you're
giving your children a great childhood because you want to give them all the things you couldn't
have and now can afford. But, that's not a childhood, either.
“What is childhood? Is it about messing up and playing with things that aren't necessarily
educational, being themselves and talking gibberish? Let our kids be kids while they can. They
will grow up all too fast, anyway,” she concludes.

Early puberty: why are kids growing up faster?

An American study of 4,000 children published this week has shown that what we've long been
wringing our hands about with girls is also true of boys – children are entering puberty younger.
There appears to be a racial factor, with Hispanic and white boys going through puberty at an
average age of 10, and Afro-American boys showing signs at nine. Nearly one in 10 white boys
and one in five black boys showed some signs of it at the age of six.

This sounds pretty early, and the first thing Dr Robert Scott-Jupp, consultant paediatrician at
the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health, warns us is: don't take the toplines of a US
study as your family medical dictionary. "I would be slightly alarmed if somebody read about
this, noted that boys are going through puberty at six, and then didn't take their child to the
doctor if he showed signs of puberty at that age. The child should definitely be seen by a
paediatrician. It may turn out to be very early puberty, but that's very rare and it could be another
condition causing it."

In the UK, there is no consensus that puberty is occurring earlier in boys; the range for the first
signs is still taken as nine to 14. In girls, that range is eight to 14, and this has got earlier,
although not by the margin you might imagine. In the 50s and 60s, the average age for first
period was 13 and a half; now it's 12 and 11 months. Seven months is quite a long time when
you're 12, I concede.
The racial element of the US study should also be viewed critically: Scott-Jupp continues: "Any
study in the US that appears to identify differences between the races, the difference usually
turns out to be that black families are poorer and more socially deprived."

But the fact remains that puberty is much easier to define in girls – it is the first period – and,
possibly as a result of that, there have been many more studies, in which a much firmer
conclusion has been reached. If it turned out in the long term that boys were also maturing faster,
that would not come as a tremendous surprise.

So what could be causing it? What challenges does it throw up? How would a mature society
deal with a physiological trend like this (let's assume for the sake of argument that we live in one
of those)?

Pop psychology has posited the idea that girls' early menarche (first period) is associated with an
absent or distant or in some way deficient father, but this seems to be a misreading of an aside
in a study that found a link between obesity and early puberty. Diet is by far the most important
factor – medics and psychotherapists both point to better nutrition being the definitive change in
children over the past century. Phillip Hodson, fellow of the British Association for Counselling
and Psychotherapy, says: "The best way not to go into puberty is starvation. Early puberty is
about great nutrition, in the classic sense of getting access to good protein, good vitamins and
minerals." He underlines that earlier puberty is often accompanied by a commensurate growth in
height – this is particularly evident among Japanese girls over the past half century.

One other theory, "for which there is no evidence at all," Dr Scott-Jupp notes cheerfully, "is that
more people being exposed to light for more hours of the day, in the form of artificial light, has
an effect on brain chemistry." It makes your brain think you've been alive longer, I suppose, and
that it's time you got married. This does seem a little far-fetched.

If diet were the cause, it would explain why Americans have seen results in boys faster than we
have here; children there have a more calorific diet.

There are studies relating early periods to depression in adolescent girls, but the crucial anxiety
hanging over the conversation is that, if kids are going to go through puberty earlier, does this
mean they will become sexually active earlier?

Will their emotional maturity match their sexual development, and if it doesn't, is it realistic to
expect that you can persuade them to hold off until it does? Dr Scott-Jupp reminds us, "There's a
tendency to confuse puberty and adolescence. Adolescence follows puberty, they're not
concurrent". Puberty is the physical change, adolescence the psychosocial transition, from
childhood to adulthood. Just because a boy has developed pubic hair doesn't mean he's made the
leap, as Hodson puts it, "Sorry to be vulgar, from Lego to legover."

Nevertheless, Hodson continues, "what we have to say is that if there were very early aspects of
puberty occurring, you couldn't just assume that your six-year-old who has started showing signs
of puberty would become the 10-year-old that you expect. You might therefore need a better set
of disciplines around his life, because he might well have the rage and the strength and the
sexuality, or flashes of those things, that a much older person might have."

The idea of hypersexualised 10-year-olds worries Hodson much less than the timeless experience
that kids who are different get bullied, and having a faint moustache could be as devastating for
your popularity as having horns and a tail, when you are 10. "The mercilessness of children is
well known. The difficulties are compounded in the age of the social media, and the way in
which people can be instantly, broadly vilified. But the anxieties of those with early puberty are
dwarfed, to a degree, by the anxieties of those children who get left behind."

Dr Scott-Jupp, likewise, focuses on pragmatic considerations, above hell-in-a-handcart

predictions of radically earlier sexual awakening. "It's a practical problem for young girls who
start their periods while they're still at primary school age. They're not very well set up, there's
not much privacy. There's also the important educational aspect, that girls need to be educated
about puberty at an earlier age so they're not taken by surprise." But this is politically charged –
you can't just shift the age at which education about puberty occurs; that leads inevitably to a
conversation about sexual characteristics, and fairly inexorably to a conversation about sex. An
NHS-funded website and App, Respect Yourself, was slated this week for considering questions
like "what's the average age to lose your virginity" and "where can I buy a Karma Sutra?"
appropriate to an audience of 13 and over (even though the answers – "17" and "a bookshop" –
might not strike one as terribly controversial. I draw the reader's attention to another question in
the FAQs: "can you have sex in the ear?" I don't think the compilation of these questions is
liberal, or sexualising children, or whatever else it is supposed to be. I think it's comprised of
questions they have genuinely been asked).

Alex Hooper-Hodson has just written The Boy Files, a boy's guide to puberty, which is out next
year (he is also Phillip Hodson's son, by wild coincidence). He devotes a lot thought to
persuading kids that this is a) nothing to be bullied about, and b) nothing to bully other people
about, to which end, he says, "I try to get across that it's not about feeling like there's something
wrong with you; it's not a disease. I'm trying to make it more interesting. So I've got little
chapters comparing them to becoming superheroes. This is when you get your superpowers. It's
when you get your muscles, which are like your superhuman abilities. Your voice breaks, which
is like your sonic scream. And you get your emotions, which is like your telepathy." Sure. It's a
bit optimistic, but nobody wants to depress them.

Signs of puberty are a pretty poor index of readiness for sexual relations, as I discovered this
year through Save the Children's family planning campaign. In cultures where people still marry
young – at 12, 13 or 14 – and have children as soon as they marry, the physical consequences are
appalling: birth weights are pitiably low, mortality of mother and baby extremely high, and this
is before problems like fistula manifest later on, in the mother's 20s, and see her socially
ostracised for being incontinent or in some other way imperfect.

Nature tolerates a huge grey area, which could span a decade, when you have sexual traits but
aren't ready for sex, or when you're ready for sex but aren't ready to procreate. Socially, I think
we would all prefer it if there were no ambiguity or variation, if all the signs of puberty arrived at
once, and they all arrived on everybody's 16th birthday. Unless we're prepared to seriously limit
kids' portion sizes, we're going to have to get used to things being a little more complicated.

10 is the new 15 as kids grow up faster

Zach Plante is close with his parents — he plays baseball with them and, on weekends, helps
with work in the small vineyard they keep at their northern California home. Lately, though, his
parents have begun to notice subtle changes in their son. Among other things, he's announced
that he wants to grow his hair longer — and sometimes greets his father with "Yo, Dad!"
"Little comments will come out of his mouth that have a bit of that teen swagger," says Tom
Plante, Zach's dad.
Thing is, Zach isn't a teen. He's 10 years old — one part, a fun-loving fifth-grader who likes to
watch the Animal Planet network and play with his dog and pet gecko, the other a soon-to-be
middle schooler who wants an iPod.
In some ways, it's simply part of a kid's natural journey toward independence. But child
development experts say that physical and behavioral changes that would have been typical of
teenagers decades ago are now common among "tweens" — kids ages 8 to 12.
Some of them are going on "dates" and talking on their own cell phones. They listen to sexually
charged pop music, play mature-rated video games and spend time gossiping on MySpace. And
more girls are wearing makeup and clothing that some consider beyond their years.
Zach is starting to notice it in his friends, too, especially the way they treat their parents.
"A lot of kids can sometimes be annoyed by their parents," he says. "If I'm playing with them at
one of their houses, then they kind of ignore their parents. If their parents do them a favor, they
might just say, 'OK,' but not notice that much."
Complex shift 
The shift that's turning tweens into the new teens is complex — and worrisome to parents and
some professionals who deal with children. They wonder if kids are equipped to handle the
thorny issues that come with the adolescent world.
"I'm sure this isn't the first time in history people have been talking about it. But I definitely feel
like these kids are growing up faster — and I'm not sure it's always a good thing," says Dr. Liz
Alderman, an adolescent medicine specialist at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City.
She's been in practice for 16 years and has noticed a gradual but undeniable change in attitude in
that time.
She and others who study and treat children say the reasons it's happening are both physical and
social.
Several published studies have found, for instance, that some tweens' bodies are developing
faster, with more girls starting menstruation in elementary school — a result doctors often
attribute to improved nutrition and, in some cases, obesity. While boys are still being studied, the
findings about girls have caused some endocrinologists to lower the limits of early breast
development to first or second grade.
Peer pressure begins ever younger 
Along with that, even young children are having to deal with peer pressure and other societal
influences.
Beyond the drugs, sex and rock'n'roll their boomer and Gen X parents navigated, technology and
consumerism have accelerated the pace of life, giving kids easy access to influences that may or
may not be parent-approved. Sex, violence and foul language that used to be relegated to late-
night viewing and R-rated movies are expected fixtures in everyday TV.
And many tweens model what they see, including common plot lines "where the kids are really
running the house, not the dysfunctional parents," says Plante, who in addition to being Zach's
dad is a psychology professor at Santa Clara University in California's Silicon Valley.
He sees the results of all these factors in his private practice frequently.
Kids look and dress older. They struggle to process the images of sex, violence and adult humor,
even when their parents try to shield them. And sometimes, he says, parents end up encouraging
the behavior by failing to set limits — in essence, handing over power to their kids.
"You get this kind of perfect storm of variables that would suggest that, yes, kids are becoming
teens at an earlier age," Plante says.
Natalie Wickstrom, a 10-year-old in suburban Atlanta, says girls her age sometimes wear clothes
that are "a little inappropriate." She describes how one friend tied her shirt to show her stomach
and "liked to dance, like in rap videos."
Girls in her class also talk about not only liking but "having relationships" with boys.
"There's no rules, no limitations to what they can do," says Natalie, who's also in fifth grade.
Her mom, Billie Wickstrom, says the teen-like behavior of her daughter's peers, influences her
daughter — as does parents' willingness to allow it.
"Some parents make it hard on those of us who are trying to hold their kids back a bit," she says.
So far, she and her husband have resisted letting Natalie get her ears pierced, something many of
her friends have already done. Now Natalie is lobbying hard for a cell phone and also wants an
iPod.
"Sometimes I just think that maybe, if I got one of these things, I could talk about what they talk
about," Natalie says of the kids she deems the "popular ones."
It's an age-old issue. Kids want to fit in — and younger kids want to be like older kids.
High stakes 
But as the limits have been pushed, experts say the stakes are also higher — with parents and
tweens having to deal with very grown-up issues such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted
diseases. Earlier this year, that point hit home when federal officials recommended a vaccine for
HPV — a common STD that can lead to cervical cancer — for girls as young as age 9.
"Physically, they're adults, but cognitively, they're children," says Alderman, the physician in
New York. She's found that cultural influences have affected her own children, too.
Earlier this year, her 12-year-old son heard the popular pop song "Promiscuous" and asked her
what the word meant.
"I mean, it's OK to have that conversation, but when it's constantly playing, it normalizes it,"
Alderman says.
She observes that parents sometimes gravitate to one of two ill-advised extremes — they're either
horrified by such questions from their kids, or they "revel" in the teen-like behavior. As an
example of the latter reaction, she notes how some parents think it's cute when their daughters
wear pants or shorts with words such as "hottie" on the back.
"Believe me, I'm a very open-minded person. But it promotes a certain way of thinking about
girls and their back sides," Alderman says. "A 12-year-old isn't sexy."
With grown-up influences coming from so many different angles — from peers to the Internet
and TV — some parents say the trend is difficult to combat.
Claire Unterseher, a mother in Chicago, says she only allows her children — including an 8-
year-old son and 7-year-old daughter — to watch public television.
And yet, already, they're coming home from school asking to download songs she considers
more appropriate for teens.
"I think I bought my first Abba single when I was 13 or 14 — and here my 7-year-old wants me
to download Kelly Clarkson all the time," Unterseher says. "Why are they so interested in all this
adult stuff?"
Targeting younger consumers 
Part of it, experts say, is marketing — and tweens are much-sought-after consumers.
Advertisers have found that, increasingly, children and teens are influencing the buying decisions
in their households _ from cars to computers and family vacations. According to 360 Youth, an
umbrella organization for various youth marketing groups, tweens represent $51 billion worth of
annual spending power on their own from gifts and allowance, and also have a great deal of say
about the additional $170 billion spent directly on them each year.
Toymakers also have picked up on tweens' interest in older themes and developed toy lines to
meet the demand — from dolls known as Bratz to video games with more violence.
Diane Levin, a professor of human development and early childhood at Wheelock College in
Boston, is among those who've taken aim at toys deemed too violent or sexual.
"We've crossed a line. We can no longer avoid it — it's just so in our face," says Levin, author of
the upcoming book "So Sexy So Soon: The Sexualization of Childhood."
Earlier this year, she and others from a group known as the Campaign for a Commercial-Free
Childhood successfully pressured toy maker Hasbro to drop plans for a line of children's toys
modeled after the singing group Pussycat Dolls.
Other parents, including Clyde Otis III, are trying their own methods.
An attorney with a background in music publishing, Otis has compiled a line of CDs called
"Music Talking" that includes classic oldies he believes are interesting to tweens, but age
appropriate. Artists include Aretha Franklin, Rose Royce and Blessid Union of Souls.
"I don't want to be like a prude. But some of the stuff out there, it's just out of control
sometimes," says Otis, a father of three from Maplewood, N.J.
"Beyonce singing about bouncing her butt all over the place is a little much — at least for an 8-
year-old."
In the end, many parents find it tricky to strike a balance between setting limits and allowing
their kids to be more independent.
Plante, in California, discovered that a few weeks ago when he and Zach rode bikes to school, as
the two of them have done since the first day of kindergarten.
"You know, dad, you don't have to bike to school with me anymore," Zach said.
Plante was taken aback.
"It was a poignant moment," he says. "There was this notion of being embarrassed of having
parents be too close."
Since then, Zach has been riding by himself — a big step in his dad's mind.
"Of course, it is hard to let go, but we all need to do so in various ways over time," Plante says,
"as long as we do it thoughtfully and lovingly, I suppose."

Letting Go of Your Kids, Little by Little

The Imperfectionist

Well before I became a parent, I could have guessed that raising a child would involve, in
addition to much joy, its fair share of sadness. I mean, I'd seen plenty of commercials where
parents watch their kids leave home. I had heard "Sunrise, Sunset." I'd been warned there would
be a time to let go and that the moment would be bittersweet. But I pictured this letting-go
happening once, maybe twice: on my child's first day of school, and the day he drove off to
college. My husband and I would wave good-bye as we stood arm in arm, our hair graying
tastefully. I'd be wearing a sweater set and pearls. I had it all worked out.

But in fact the act of letting go is gradual. Every year, I find myself mourning my son's slow exit
from childhood. I can hardly look at photos of now-7-year-old Henry as a toddler without a lump
forming in my throat. I miss the child he was; I want to hold on to the kid he is now. And just
when I think I grasp who he is this second, he changes again.

On the other hand, this constant changing and shifting means I've had the distinct pleasure of
enjoying several amazing characters. All Henry, of course — but in many ways, each his own
person.

First there was the Newborn: an inscrutable lump who eerily resembled Winston Churchill. Of
all the Henrys I've known, I miss that one the least. Sure, the first year was full of milestones, but
mostly I remember the crying and the not-sleeping and the crying some more. We were in love
with the Newborn, but more than anything, we looked forward to what (and who) would come
next.

Then came One: a joyous Buddha who erupted into chortles and shrieks at a smile from a
stranger or the taste of a new food. He discovered words and strung them together with babble,
laughing uproariously each time. "Mommy blahblah fire truck bbbbbth turtle," One would
shriek, slapping his knee. Everything was a question to One. He'd clamber onto me and point at
objects, asking: "What this? This?" Then he'd watch me closely, his milk breath heating my
cheek, as I named it all.

Two took One's budding language skills and ran with them. While his peers were collecting
discrete words and phrases, Two was engaged in a constant monologue. He would give the day a
theme: "It's New Friend Day," he'd announce in the morning, and we'd head to the park, our
mission set.

Two also had his dark moments. When his needs weren't quite met, he'd throw himself to the
ground, his language skills abandoning him as he shrieked nonsense syllables. (We still talk
about the time Two screamed that his stroller was "too murfy.") I never thought I'd miss Two,
but in retrospect, his tantrums were kind of adorable compared with the bigger-kid frustrations
we deal with these days.

Three is the one whose pictures I can't look at without choking up. In those photos, you can see
that Three is losing his baby fat, but he still has the round baby cheeks, the softness around the
edges that would soon fade.

Three was in love with me. Maybe this is why I miss him so much? When I picked up Three
from preschool, he'd jump in my arms and kiss my face, murmuring, "Mama, Mama." How
could I not want more of that?
Four was also enamored and wanted to make an honest woman of me. Every few days, Four
would look directly into my eyes and propose: "Marry me, Alice Catherine Bradley."

I told Henry the other day about how he used to propose to me, and he laughed himself off his
chair. I laughed too, but part of me wanted to defend that little boy who saw nothing funny about
his desire to make me his own. Who assumed I was his, and always would be.

Five stretched out like taffy, turning into a skinny, knobby-kneed creature. He was affectionate
but found the world far more interesting than his mother. That is how it should be, but knowing
that didn't make the transition any easier.

Five was in kindergarten, so he knew about many things. Things like "helping," which he
defined as "telling us what to do." He knew that "manners" meant "always saying 'May I?'"
("Henry, do you want milk with your dinner?" "No, Mommy, it's, 'Henry, may I ask you if you
want milk with your dinner...?'") Five knew that you should never leave an intact acorn lying on
the ground. "Whole acorns are lucky," he'd tell us, then whisper a wish to the acorn and tuck it in
his pocket.

Five was so certain. Every time he issued a declaration, I felt a pang: When would self-doubt
kick in? Even as I exulted in his confidence, I worried. When would the world knock him down?

Six wanted only to hang out with his Dad. I didn't mind this entirely — not being the number-
one choice to play Star Wars with had its advantages — but it stung a bit. Six seemed to sense
that I was bothered, and he would apologize yet never change his mind. I loved this about Six.
He knew what he wanted and saw no reason to back down.

Six wanted to be cool, and knew that being cool did not include getting kissed by your parents.
He told us that when we walked him to school, there would be no more hugs or kisses. A high-
five would have to suffice. I agreed, trying not to think about the 3-year-old who'd leapt into my
arms at school pickup.

Seven seems to be a preview of what it's like to raise a teenager. Seven slams doors and yells at
us about how misunderstood he is. When he's not storming around, however, Seven is excellent
company. He writes books and invents machines and shares his insights about the world and his
place in it. Seven can't wait until he's grown up, he tells us.

Seven won't hold my hand anymore. I insist on walking hand in hand when we're crossing a busy
street, but as soon as we've reached the other side, he pulls away. This kills me the most.  Wait,
please, I'm not ready,  I want to say.  Give me a couple more years, at least.

But every now and then he forgets we're linked, or pretends to, and he keeps holding on. On
those days, we walk all the way home like that. Usually we're quiet, but sometimes we talk about
the future and what it might bring. He tells me about all the adventures he can't wait to begin,
and while he's talking I notice how much taller he seems, or how much more grown-up his face
is beginning to look. It's as if I can already see the next Henry, somewhere up ahead. I listen, and
I hold on a little tighter.
Girls Growing Up Too Fast
By Deborah Swaney
The Sexy-Girl Syndrome
The job description for parent says you prep yourself for the dicey stuff kids are likely to ask for.
So I was ready for the day my daughter would beg for a fashion doll of notoriously unrealistic
proportions, or even for one of those skimpily dressed Bratz dolls. Instead, last fall my 7-year-
old freaked me out a whole different way-by begging for a bra. "Two girls in my class have
them," she argued.

Skeptical that she'd gotten her facts straight, I checked out a local children's store. Yikes! They
had a whole assortment of flirty bras and panties perfectly sized for second-graders. Staring at
those crazy underthings, and at the body-glitter tubes on the counter, something creepy dawned
on me. Today's girls don't just want to own a hot-looking doll, they want to be one.

Maybe I shouldn't have been so shocked. After all, my daughter and her friends are more likely
to worship teen heroes like Troy and Gabriella from the High School Musical movies than to
expend energy adoring cuddly cartoon characters like the Care Bears. And these same kids are
the ones shaking their little booties when the Pussycat Dolls come on the radio, singing,
"Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

Clearly, something's going on, so much so that the American Psychological Association (APA)
recently convened a task force on girls' sexualization. "There's a real syndrome happening, and
it's picking up speed," says Eileen L. Zurbriggen, PhD, who chaired the APA group. "Even little
girls are now feeling they should look and act alluring." Her committee found that this is harmful
to girls on several levels.

"The core issue is what they feel valued for," Zurbriggen explains. "It's as though factors like
whether they're smart or funny or kind or talented at something like sports or art get erased." And
their self-esteem suffers for it. "The images their idols present are so idealized, most girls can't
attain them. That makes them feel bad about their own bodies, and this can eventually lead to
anxiety and depression," Zurbriggen says. Preoccupation with their "hot-o-meter" score can even
hurt their school performance. "A girl's mind becomes literally so full of worries about how she
looks and what other people are thinking, she doesn't have enough energy left to focus on
learning," says Zurbriggen.

How did things get that way, and what can parents do to counteract the situation? For answers,
we have to look beyond the kiddie lingerie aisle.

How the Media Influences the Sexy-Girl Trend

The sexy-girl trend didn't start overnight. "I trace it to the mid-1980s, when children's television
was deregulated, allowing TV shows to market products to kids," says Diane Levin, PhD, of
Wheelock College in Boston and co-author of So Sexy So Soon (Ballantine Books). Companies
noticed girls' love for ultra-feminine programs and their product tie-ins, and played it to the max.
In the flush 1990s the media pushed harder, with the teen dial moving more toward sexy with
sitcoms like Saved by the Bell.

Nowadays, "programs aimed at my daughter feature kids twice her age," complains Lisa Rinkus,
of Newton, Massachusetts, mom of 9-year-old Elizabeth. "There's stuff like Wizards of Waverly
Place, where girls dress up and go on dates." Even cartoons have become sexier. A recent study
released by the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media found that female animated characters
wear less clothing than male ones. And the current rash of reality TV shows like America's Next
Top Model and My Super Sweet 16 also fuel the fire.

The media onslaught extends to cyberspace as well, with an explosion of kids' interactive Web
sites tied to TV shows like iCarly and Hannah Montana. "They push girls to further identify with
these older, more mature girls," says Levin. And that's just the nice sites: One called "Miss
Bimbo" gives girls a nearly naked doll to look after and urges them to score points redeemable
for plastic surgery and skimpy clothes.

Influences Beyond TV Characters — and the Actresses Who Play Them

Still, sex-tinged kids' TV has been around for a couple of decades. So why are girls today more
precocious than just five years ago? Because a whole other pop culture avalanche has hit, experts
say. For starters, we've got tons of teen idols now, including Miley Cyrus (the real-life Hannah
Montana) and Demi Lovato, star of the Disney TV movie Camp Rock. "Even little kids look up
to them," says M. Gigi Durham, author of The Lolita Effect (Overlook Press).

These teen stars and their characters may seem mild (say, compared with the Britneys, Lindsays,
and Jessicas in the headlines or even the adolescents on your block), but much of what they do
and say is still over the top for tweens. "When younger girls watch them they see ways of
behaving, looking, and feeling that would otherwise be outside their world," Levin says.

And now teen idols are also prime paparazzi fodder. As their personal slipups are relentlessly
captured and widely publicized, even their littlest fan's consciousness is being raised in ways her
parents hoped wouldn't happen for years. Donna Miller of Summit, New Jersey, faced this
recently. Her daughter Lucie, 8, loves the show Zoey 101, whose star, Jamie Lynn Spears
(Britney's sis), gave birth earlier this year at 17. "I tried to explain what was wrong with the
whole situation," says Donna. "Lucie's answer was, 'But she and her boyfriend love each other,
and you said love is important!' I think I communicated our family values about sex and babies
in a way that didn't confuse Lucie. But she's so young. I'm not sure she understood all the
nuances."

Certainly, fawning coverage of the birth didn't help clarify things for young fans. One tabloid
cover featured a glowing picture of the teenage Spears cuddling with her daughter, calling
motherhood "the best feeling in the world." Parents are still the main influence on their
daughters, but kids have got to be confused when they're bombarded with contradictory
messages.
The Impact of Marketing
If teen idols are a trap for young girls, it's partly because their princess obsession laid the
groundwork. In 2007 sales of Disney princess products totaled $4 billion. "To parents, the
princesses seem relatively wholesome," says Levin, "but they do convey the message that you
should spend a lot of time, energy, and money on looking pretty." What's more insidious is the
way girls use them. "Give a girl a princess-type doll and she often doesn't invent ways to play
with it," says Levin. "Instead, she'll act out a fairy tale script, having learned that the princess
should be beautiful and seductive and catch the prince." The more time a girl plays this way, the
more she'll focus on looks and coquettish behavior, and the less time she'll spend doing the open-
ended activities kids need. "It puts girls on a conveyor belt to early sexualization," Levin says.

And merchandizing linked to girls' idols doesn't stop with dolls. According to a report by the
NPD Group, girls 8 to 12 years old now spend $500 million a year on beauty products of all
kinds, including those endorsed by their idols. Then there are the flirty fashions. "Where are the
age-appropriate clothes?" asks Marie Ortiz of San Antonio, mom of 8-year-old Karina. "Even the
kids' fashions at mass retailers look like they're for mini Paris Hiltons." It's a coast-to-coast
lament as mothers of girls shop among racks of child-size swimsuits with padded chests and
slinky underwear for 8-year-olds.

Of course, when it comes to the 7-going-on-16 phenomenon, it's easy to point a finger of blame
everywhere else, but we also have to take a hard look at ourselves. It's not that parents want to
shirk being gatekeepers. "There's just so much sex around, it's easy to stop noticing and drawing
the line," Durham explains. But we've got to try.

What's a Parent to Do?

Forget about overreacting. Sending your daughter to school in overalls, clutching your old
prairie-skirted Holly Hobbie doll is like putting a giant "L" on her forehead and a "kick me" sign
on her back. The idea is to help her live in the real world while preserving her innocence and
honoring your family's morals. Try these tactics:

 Cut back on the TV consumption. Her shows, your shows — just watch less. A 2005
Kaiser Family Foundation report found that the proportion of programs with sexual
content rose from 54 percent to 70 percent between 1998 and 2005. And learn what the
mysterious ratings at the start of kids' shows mean. Stuff tagged TV-Y or TV-G is the
tamest. Other ratings require you to make a judgment call. You can get the scoop at
www.fcc.gov/parents/parent_guide.html.
 Teach your daughter how to think like a critic. When she does watch, try to join her.
"That way when something questionable pops up, you can point it out," recommends
Durham. Levin suggests regularly exposing the ridiculous or unrealistic sides of on-
screen scenarios. For instance, you could try, "Don't you wonder how London gets her
homework done when she spends so much time in front of the mirror?"
 Monitor Web choices. Just because a Web site is linked to a TV show doesn't mean it's
healthy or wholesome. Try bookmarking a few quality sites like pbskids.org or
starfall.com, which are chockablock with fun learning games. "Be picky," says Maria
Bailey, founder of bluesuitmom.com, an advice site for employed moms. "Thirty four
 percent of children will visit some kind of social networking or vitual-world Web site this
year." One new option about to be launched is the Precious Girls Club social network,
where girls can earn points for engaging in kind behavior (preciousgirlsclub.com).
 Promote other kinds of idols. Show your daughter women she can admire for what they
do, not for how they look, advises Richard Gallagher, PhD, director of the Parenting
Institute at the Child Study Center of New York University. You could take her to a
community musical and afterward meet the actress whose singing she loved. Or how
about attending a local women's basketball game, where she can give the high-scorer
postgame congratulations? And even if you aren't a fan of every female on the political
scene, point out how cool it is that women are so prominent there.
 Help her explore her talents and interests. Whether it's tennis or chess, being good at
something gives girls confidence. "Sports especially are great," advises Levin. "They help
girls value their bodies for what they're able to do, not for how pretty they look."
 Hold the line on makeup and glittery clothes. "It's not enough to just say no," warns
Levin. "Your daughter will be exposed to these things anyway, and if you clamp down
entirely, it'll only set the stage for her to rebel later on." Instead she suggests moderation.
If your daughter begs for a cropped top, for instance, layer it over a longer tee or tank, or
let her wear it only at home.
 Mix up her peer group. Invite over a kid from another class in her grade, or sign her up
for an activity that isn't school-based (such as karate or art). Spending time with other
kids, other ideas, other ways of doing things widens a girl's world and reduces the
pressure on her to follow the crowd.
 Guide the gift-giving. Tell grandparents and other relatives that you're trying to hold back
on the sexy stuff, says Levin. Ideally, they'll shop more sensitively.

Personally, I'm taking all of this advice and using it with my daughter. I've been questioning
what we're seeing on her favorite TV shows, as well as her fervent desire, sympathetic though I
may feel, to emulate her fashion-forward classmates right down to their underwear.

And in case you're wondering whether I got her that bra, I'll admit I thought about it. But then I
said no. "That's for when you're older," I told her. Then I took her to our community rec
department and signed her up for our town's soccer league. Five weeks later I stood at the edge
of a field, screaming like crazy as she scored her very first goal.

That, not a bra, is the kind of support young girls really need.

Where the Boys Are

While girls are getting trapped in a sexual pressure cooker, boys seem to steer clear of the worst
of it. "I have 8-year-old boy-girl twins, and I see a huge difference," says Donna Miller of
Summit, New Jersey. "My son doesn't feel the need to wear certain clothes like my daughter
does." But there are some uncomfortable dynamics emerging. "I notice boys talking about girls
being 'hot' earlier than they used to," says Richard Gallagher of the Parenting Institute of NYU.
None of which, sadly, surprises him or other experts. "As girls are dressing provocatively at
young ages, it's sparking the sexual inquisitiveness of younger boys," says Scott Haltzman, MD,
a Brown University psychiatrist who specializes in gender issues.
Diane Levin, PhD, of Wheelock College, also sees negative sexual standards and messages in
boys' toys and heroes. "The muscles on action toys have been getting bigger," she says. "It makes
boys feel like they have to be rough instead of affectionate or tender. But those gentle qualities
are what they'll need for developing good relationships in the future." Furthermore, says
Gallagher, a sexually charged kids' culture can make it hard for a young boy to befriend a female
classmate. "If he's afraid his buddies and the girl's friends are going to taunt them, saying, 'Ooh,
what are you guys up to?' he often decides it's not worth it," he explains.

The solutions? They're not so different from what they are for girls. Tone down the sex-
stereotype toys and be selective about what your sons watch on TV.

"So many music videos show a guy surrounded by lots of girls, which sends boys the message
that sexy equals cool," Haltzman says. And don't automatically assume your son would never
hang out with a girl from his class. "At least suggest it and see what he says," advises Gallagher.
It could help him like and respect girls as individuals.
 

Growing up too fast: early puberty and mental illness

Puberty has long been recognised as a transition point in which many emotional and behavioural
problems emerge. These include depression and anxiety, substance use and abuse, self-harm and
eating disorders.

We previously thought that children who entered puberty earlier than their peers were at greater
risk of these problems because they were less equipped to cope with the transition. This may be
part of the story.

But we’re increasingly realising that social and emotional disadvantages and stresses in
childhood may trigger early puberty. This possibility was explored in a study published today in
the Journal of Adolescent Health, which found children who go through puberty early showed
signs of poorer mental health in early childhood.

We studied a cohort of 3,491 children and families from the Longitudinal Study of Australian
Children. Parents reported behavioural difficulties and emotional, social and school functioning
in four surveys between ages four and 11. Around 16% of girls and 6% of boys had begun
puberty by age eight to nine.

We found that boys with an earlier onset of puberty had greater behavioural difficulties and
poorer emotional and social adjustment. These difficulties began as early as four to five years of
age and continued to early adolescence.

Girls who reached puberty early also had more difficulties in emotional and social adjustment
from early childhood. But these girls did not have the increased behavioural problems found in
boys.
When does puberty start?
Puberty is the stage of development in which a child’s body matures to enable reproduction. This
includes the development of breast tissue and the first period in girls, and maturation of the testes
in boys. The hormonal changes that lead to sexual maturation during puberty are accompanied
by major physical growth and maturation of the brain.

Puberty typically begins in late childhood. On average, girls begin puberty at ages ten to 11; boys
start at 11 to 12. But the timing of puberty varies by four to five years among healthy children.
This reflects the effects of nutrition, psychological status and socioeconomic conditions. Studies
also suggest that genes play a role.

The age of first menstruation has dropped significantly since the 1840s, when the average age in
Western European girls was around 16. Since the 1960s this trend has ceased in most developed
countries and the average age is now 12 to 13.

Within countries, differences in pubertal age may be found according to socioeconomic status
and racial origin. Data from the United States, for example, found that black American
girls begin puberty earlier than white or Mexican-American girls.

Emotional and behavioural problems

We know that adversity in life – such as stressful family circumstances or a lack of care and
warmth – can affect the rate and course of a child’s development. Early psychosocial stress can
be a cue for environmental risk and trigger earlier reproductive development. From this
perspective, emotional and behavioural problems would be expected to occur even before early
puberty is evident.

Puberty is a time of increasing stresses and challenges, as children adapt to their changing social
roles. For this reason, mental health issues often first emerge in adolescence. Younger children
and those with fewer social and emotional resources may find this phase more difficult, which
increases their risk of subsequent mental health difficulties.

These changes interplay with prenatal factors. We know, for instance, that children who had a
low birth weight are more likely to have early puberty.

Social determinants and health-related behaviours are also highly influential. The families, peers
and communities children grow up with can provide “social scaffolds” for their mental health.
Equally, negative influences in children’s environments can be risk factors for mental health
difficulties in adolescence.

Our research supports a “life course” hypothesis. This suggests that differences in pubertal
timing and childhood adjustment may, in part, result from adversity early in life. In other words,
early puberty may be part of an accelerated transition to adult development which begins early in
life. This, in turn, heightens the risks for emotional and behavioural problems.
Reducing the risk
The early life factors that may be influencing children’s development and leading to early
puberty are not yet fully understood. Finding out what lies behind early puberty may help us to
understand the origins of emotional and behavioural problems of children and adolescents.

We hope to find preventive ways to avoid some of the mental health difficulties which can
emerge in adolescence. Promoting healthy environments and behaviours from early in childhood
may help children develop social and emotional resources. Whether these resources will then
protect children’s mental health during puberty is an important question.

We need to be aware of the social and emotional stresses during puberty, particularly for children
who reach puberty earlier than their peers. It is crucial that there are positive frameworks in place
to support these children at this phase of their lives. These may include supportive families, peers
and communities, as well education, counselling and health services.

Growing Up Too Fast
Our culture tends to throw kids in the deep-end of the pool without teaching them how to swim.
Kids are given adult freedoms and privileges, without the responsibilities and training to help
them handle it.  Now more than ever, it’s essential to give kids age-appropriate responsibilities,
privileges, and freedoms.

Knowing exactly what is and is not age-appropriate is no simple task.  The unpredictable nature
of adolescence makes it especially difficult. Every day I am amazed at how 13-year-olds are both
incredibly immature and mature.  With any group of seventh graders, there will be some kids
with tremendous maturity and some with absolutely none.  Even more amazing is how a single
student can seem so mature one moment and so utterly immature the next moment.  It’s a
paradox that makes my job as a father, teacher, and coach constantly interesting and challenging.

This is not a new phenomenon, but I think it has grown from a simple stage of development to a
societal problem.  The problem is that many children are growing up too fast without developing
properly.  Kids are growing up fast but not well; they are not ready to handle the adult
things that they are getting in to so young.

David Elkind wrote The Hurried Child in 1981 and has updated it several times since, in
response to the fast-changing world of media and technology in which kids live.  He discusses
the effects of television on kids in great detail.

Television producers often treat children as grown up…  Owing in part to watching adults
shows on TV, even young children seem quite knowledgeable about the major issues of our time
– drugs, violence, crime, divorce, single parenting, inflation, and so on. What [children] are
able to do with this information is quite another matter. Television exposes children to
experiences they could never have without it. But exposure is one thing, and understanding is
another. Making experiences more accessible does not make them any less confusing or any less
disturbing.
Ironically, this pseudo-sophistication (the effect of television hurrying children) encourages
parents and adults to hurry them even more. But children who sound, behave, and look like
adults, nonetheless, still feel and think like children (Elkind).

I see this in the classroom every school day.  Students are very familiar and with the issues of
unemployment, terrorism, homosexuality, and presidential politics – and yet they know so little. 
In other words, they know a little about a lot.  Their knowledge has breadth without depth.  It’s a
mile wide and an inch deep. And they certainly don’t know how to process and integrate that
information into their lives yet.  But they feel like they know it and that it’s enough to move on.

Now, in 2011, we have the internet on cell phones, YouTube, FaceBook, movies-on-demand,
and such to deal with.  Kids are growing up insanely fast online.  And parents are pouring gas on
the fire when they get their 9 year old a smartphone or a wireless laptop for Christmas.  They
figure that they can afford it, the kids love it, and it’s good for their education.

But even the relatively-tame Disney and Nickelodeon channels (not to mention all the
mainstream sitcoms) offer their special blend of grown-up-too-soon.  The word for it precocious,
and it describes nearly every lead character on their shows for tweens.  The New Oxford
American Dictionary defines it as an adjective (of a child) having developed certain abilities or
proclivities at an earlier age than usual.  The characters on TV, of course, have adult writers
crafting their dialogue to make them far more confident, witty, charming, and funny than their
age would otherwise grant.  And the plot lines have them involved in an exciting blend of
youthful and adult activities and relationships.

[The media] provides images with whom children identify and seek to emulate…. All the
children pop in with exceptional insights. The lesson seems to be ‘Listen to the little children
carefully and you will learn great truths.’  To children they provide models of emotional and
intellectual precocity, this constituting a kind of hurrying to behave in wise, mature ways. And to
adults, this kind of depiction may add to expectations that children be more wise, more sage, and
more understanding than we have a right to expect (Elkind).

In other words, media is changing the images and expectations of childhood, both for the
children and for adults.  Television has changed the norms.  Kids seem to vault immediately
from the carefree innocence of childhood to enjoying all the rights and privileges of adulthood. 
And we must remember that 12-14 year olds are so impressionable; they are watching and
evaluating everything, even the ads.

“Advertisers hurry children into psychologically and nutritionally unhealthy consumerism.”  For
every 22 minutes of TV programming, there are 8 minutes of advertisements, so this is no small
thing.  And of course, nearly every website, video game, and dvd has plenty of ads for the kids. 
The purpose of every ad is to manipulate the viewer to think that they need something,
something that the advertisers are selling, and kids are least equipped to deal maturely with these
subtle, powerful messages.

One of the most confusing areas of growing up is sexuality, and there are plenty of mixed
messages in every corner of pop culture.  “The media in general, films in particular, encourages
sexual expression at just the age children should be learning some healthy repression… If we do
not repress some of our sexual and aggressive impulses, we would be living in a jungle… Part of
growing up is learning to control impulses and to behave morally… The real danger of growing
up fast is that children may learn the rules of social license before they learn the rules of social
responsibility” (Elkind).  Just read any recent article about how children are sending sexual
messages to each other with their cell phones (aka “sexting”).  It’s a real problem because kids
have the technology and the information, without the wisdom and self-control to restrain
themselves.

American society now tends to hurry kids along, as if it’s a race to the ultra-cool, ultra-free
college years.  But important things are lost and not found along the way.  When a young child
is empowered with adult rights, freedoms, and products that they cannot yet handle
responsibly, then they are set up for failure.  It’s a bit like giving a ten-year old a Porsche. 
They may know all about fast cars – they race them in video games and research them online,
after all – yet they can’t reach the pedals or see over the steering wheel yet.  We are giving
children too much license / freedom, too soon.  Whether it’s choices at the mall or choices
related to sexuality, we should ask, “What’s the hurry?”

Elkind concludes, “If we really value human life, we will value each period equally and give
each stage of life what is appropriate to that stage.”   Whatever happened to adolescence?  We
are launching kids from the elementary school culture to the college campus overnight, without
guidance.

Even Jesus, at the age of twelve was not all grown up.  Luke 2:52 says that “Jesus grew in
wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”  God the Father was apparently in no hurry
to prepare Jesus for all the things of the world.  In fact, Jesus did not minister to the public until
he was 30, even though he wanted to, and that was by the Father’s design.  So, I believe we
should take note and not just let our kids jump into adulthood so soon.

It’s up to us to be the adults.  We need to slow down and teach kids how to handle each step of
adolescence – one thing at a time – not so fast, not so soon.

Are Our Children Growing Up Too Fast or Too Slowly?

Dr George Simon, PhD

The course of child development is a multidimensional one, and while evidence suggests that
children are maturing physically more quickly than ever before, there are big questions about
whether they are sufficiently developed emotionally and psychologically before they enter
serious relationships and start making babies.

There are many indications that children in the industrialized world are maturing at different
rates than their parents did. But whether they’re maturing faster or more slowly is a matter of
some debate. The debate is complicated by the fact that maturation occurs along many
different dimensions (e.g., physical, emotional, psychological, socio-cultural, etc.), and the
rates of personal growth and development on each of these dimensions can vary considerably.
On a purely physical level, there is a fair degree of evidence that children, especially females,
have been maturing ever so slightly earlier each decade since the 1850s, so that there is now a
significantly earlier age of onset of puberty as compared to the 19th century. Studies
examining why this is true have thus far been inconclusive, with hypotheses ranging from
nutritional factors (with higher rates of obesity and the presence of hormones in the food
supply thought to correlate with premature breast development in girls) to stress and social
factors. For whatever reasons, however, there is little doubt that physical maturation is
occurring earlier.

When it comes to emotional and psychological maturation, there is abundant evidence that on
average, kids are being exposed to — primarily through media as well as other environmental
influences — and actually engaging in more typically adult activities (including sex, of course)
at an earlier age. But there are big questions about whether they have sufficient psychological
preparedness to engage in these activities and even bigger questions about how engaging in
such activities when they are not adequately emotionally and psychologically prepared to do so
affects their overall rates of personality and character development.

It seems that the answer to the question of whether our kids are growing up too fast or too slow
is: “that depends.” On the one hand, kids probably see far more than they need to see and deal
with far more than they need to deal with at far too young an age to adequately make sound
judgments about — and moral sense of — their experiences. This is especially true with
respect to the kinds of sexual situations they frequently encounter. On the other hand, they
probably don’t get enough exposure to the kinds of socializing influences (e.g., managing
money, appraising relationships) that can adequately prepare them for the responsibilities of
adult life. The label “boomerang children” has been applied to those young persons who tried
to step out into the adult world and took on the tasks of partnering, parenting, and working,
only to return to the nest because they were totally unprepared to do any of these task in a
mature and socially responsible fashion. After a period of re-parenting, such children often
take another stab at things and some eventually “get it” with respect to what adult life is really
all about as they enter their late 30s or early 40s.

There has always been some individual variability with respect to how quickly or slowly a
person proceeds along the various maturational dimensions. Unfortunately, in our age of
instant, abundant information and all-too-easy exposure to various environmental influences,
it’s more difficult to control the degree to which relatively unprepared youngsters might
encounter situations they are not fully prepared to handle. And there are few mechanisms built
into our formal educational systems to adequately address each child’s particular needs.
Nonetheless, as a society, we owe it to our children to provide them with the guidance
necessary to enable them to develop both a healthy self-image and an adequate degree of social
conscientiousness. If they don’t “get it” before they enter serious relationships and make
babies, the social ramifications are enormous (and, ultimately costly). Still, there’s not much
agreement on what we need to do to modify our cultural environments to help more of our
young people enter adulthood with a minimum essential level of maturity.

Growth is an indispensable aspect of life. And there’s little doubt our children are growing up
before our very eyes. So, we must ask ourselves some serious questions about what we need to
protect them from as well as what we must insist that they learn so that they will have the
maturity they need to handle the demands and challenges of living.

It’s a daunting task.

Given the nature of our current world, it seems like there are some areas in which they can’t
learn fast enough, yet other areas in which we pray they slow down just a bit. We need them to
grow mature. But it all has to happen in the right time.