A Shakespearean Museum of Love Interlude

Scenes
Nria Casado Gual
Interlude 1
Lights on the playing arena. We hear the voice of a group of tourists that is
led by an extravagant guide. They slowly enter the playing field, each of
them distracted by their own interests and motivations. They form a funny
crowd: somehow they seem to represent qualities of certain Shakespearean
characters, which are suggested in an indirect, often ironic way; but at the
same time they look absolutely contemporary and fresh and... just
occasionally, they even become an unruly bunch of insane people, who
rather behave like spoilt children or untamed animals. Parts of the dialogue
below are said simultaneously, overlapping in a natural way.
In general:
Should be more space /distance between Oberon and turists.
Oberon David: every name
(of the scenes like Romeo and Juliet,
Midsummer Nights Dream, etc) of the play should be said more
clearly and understandable
OBERON-GUIDE: And this is our last room, our most precious exhibition: the
Love Collection of our Shakespearean Museum...!
OPHELIA-TOURIST: Isnt it wonderful?!
OBERON-GUIDE: (full of himself) I know, and you have not even started the
visit to this gallery yet!
HAMLET-TOURIST: (trying to be funny, failing) To visit or not to visit... that is
the question...!
LADY MACBETH-TOURIST: (outraged) Shht!
HAMLET-TOURIST: (offended, aristocratic) Excuse me? Do I know you?
LADY MACBETH-TOURIST: Oh, Im sorry. I thought it was my husband, he is
always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time!
MACBETH-TOURIST: There we go! Will anyone give me a dagger, please? I
need to kill myself!
OBERON-GUIDE: May I please have your attention, ladies... and
gentlemen...?
TITANIA-TOURIST: Yes, please! Please! We are eager to know about the
Love... Collection... here...
PORTIA-TOURIST (whispering to her friend): I cant believe it! She is trying to
flirt with the guide...!
NERISSA-TOURIST: Of course she is! What else is there to do in the... Love
Room...? (They laugh)
PUCK-TOURIST (looking for her friend): Hey, B.! Shht! Come here! This way..!
Come on, the guide will start his explanation right now and you will
miss it... again!
BOTTOM-TOURIST (coming to the playing field): Hey, P.! You will not believe
what I heard in the Death Room... Oh boy, so much for Quentin
Tarantino! This Shakespearean museum is quite something, I can tell
you...!
OBERON-GUIDE: Ok, lets start! It is getting late and the Museum will be
closed in less than one hour. So... after everything you have learnt

about Shakespeare so far... who can tell me anything about the

representation of LOVE in his theatre?
Chaotic attempts to respond. None of them make sense. Silence. At last, a
young girl breaks the ice and behaves like a teenager who is also the
top student in her class.
JULIET-TOURIST: Well, as far as I know, I think he knew quite a great deal
about.. you know, about love. I mean, he wrote the best tragedies
about love ever, didnt he?
ROMEO-TOURIST: (Who can only agree with her) Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet.
JULIE-TOURIST: And, well, as he showed in his sonnets, he represented love
as this force that we cannot control, because, well, love controls us,
doesnt it?, and, and... it makes us... it makes us go mad... No, no,
beyond mad...!
ROMEO-TOURIST: Beyond wild!
JULIE-TOURIST: Yeah, yeah, totally! And love... love is just... like a child, love
is like... Its like this boy with the arch...
HAMLET-TOURIST: (tired of this adolescent nonsense) Oh, for Gods sake...
LADY MACBETH-TOURIST: Shht!
MACBETH-TOURIST: (ashamed of his wife) What are you doi...? What are y..?
(Lady M looks at him) Its just... Its ok, its ok.
BOTTOM-GUIDE: Cupid?
JULIE-TOURIST: Cupid, Cupid, thats right! And love makes us bold...
ROMEO-TOURIST: And strong...
JULIET-TOURIST: And... and... (cannot find the word)
OPHELIA-TOURIST: Happier...?
HAMLET-TOURIST: More vulnerable...?
JULIET-TOURIST: No, no, better! Thats the word! I mean, we become more...
more handsome...
ROMEO-TOURIST: Beautiful...
TITANIA-TOURIST: Even sexy...
NERISSA-TOURIST AND PORTIA-TOURIST: Sexy...? (They laugh)
JULIET-TOURIST: Yeah, why not? And capable of everything... Anything is
possible if you feel true love. (Suddenly embarrassed) I mean...
According to Shakespeare, of course.
OBERON-GUIDE: I can see that you are all... quite... well-read. (He coughs,
swallowing his own lie) Ok! Lets start with the first painting of the
collection, then, which shows some of the qualities you have observed
in Shakesperean love. Here it is!
TOURISTS: Ooooooh!!!
OBERON-GUIDE: Do you recognize them?
OPHELIA-TOURIST: Of course!! Who wouldnt? They are...
JULIET-TOURIST: Romeo!
ROMEO-TOURIST: ... and Juliet!
OBERON-GUIDE: Exactly! Probably the most famous of all tragic lovers...
Here we can see them in the famous balcony scene, which by the way
was a 17th-century addition to the original text. This is the moment
when Romeo overcomes all his fears and gets to see his beloved Juliet
at night, just one day after they met for the first time, and despite the
great danger that this secret visit entails...
BOTTOM-TOURIST: Danger? What danger? Was he afraid of falling off the
balcony?
PUCK-TOURIST: Maybe...!

JULIET-TOURIST: Oh come on! Everybody knows they belonged to two

important families from Verona... The Capulet... (After she says this
name, half of the crowd stands behind her)
ROMEO-TOURIST: And the Montague! (The same with the other half, which
stands behind him. The two sides hate each other quite visibly). The
two families were declared enemies...
OBERON-GUIDE: And yet, despite this terrible confrontation, which would
put an end to their short lives, the two young, innocent, tender lovers
could not but follow the imperative of their hearts. Just come closer to
the painting, my dear friends, and look at it carefully. Its almost as if
the painting spoke to us, and reminded us of the sweet melody that
may cast a terrible spell on two youths when they fall in love at first
sight. Do you hear it? Can you hear what they say...?
The actors start singing a song in a very soft tone while they approach the
painting. In a smooth transition and while they continue singing, they get
ready to create Juliets balcony. Juliet and Romeo take their positions,
Oberon will be the last one to disappear before the next scene starts.
ROMEO AND JULIET SCENE
Romeo and Juliet: Balcony Scene, Act 2, Scene 2
Scene II. Capulet's Garden.
[Enter Romeo.]
Romeo.
It is my lady, O, it is my love! (10)
O that she knew she were!
She speaks, yet she says nothing; what of that?
Her eye discourses, I will answer it.
I am too bold: 'tis not to me she speaks.
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, (15)
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
See how she leans her cheek upon her hand
O that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek! (25)
Juliet.
Ay me!
Romeo.
She speaks.
O, speak again, bright angel, for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head,
As is a winged messenger of heaven. (30)
Juliet.
O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? (35)
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet.
Romeo.
[Aside.] Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?

Juliet.
'Tis but thy name that is my enemy: (40)
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name.
What's in a name? That which we call a rose (45)
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name, which is no part of thee, (50)
Take all myself.
Romeo.
I take thee at thy word.
Call me but love, and I'll be new baptis'd;
Henceforth I never will be Romeo.
Juliet.
What man art thou that, thus bescreened in night, (55)
So stumblest on my counsel?
Romeo.
By a name
I know not how to tell thee who I am:
My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself,
Because it is an enemy to thee. (60)
Juliet.
My ears have yet not drunk a hundred words
Of thy tongue's uttering, yet I know the sound.
Art thou not Romeo, and a Montague?
Romeo.
Neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike. (65)
Juliet.
How cam'st thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?
The orchard walls are high and hard to climb,
And the place death, considering who thou art,
If any of my kinsmen find thee here.
Romeo.
With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls, (70)
For stony limits cannot hold love out,
And what love can do, that dares love attempt:
Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me.
Juliet.
If they do see thee, they will murder thee.
Romeo.

Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye (75)

Than twenty of their swords.
Juliet.
By whose direction found'st thou out this place?
Romeo.
By love, that first did prompt me to enquire.
Juliet.
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay',
And I will take thy word. Yet, if thou swear'st, (95)
Thou mayst prove false.
Or if thou thinkest I am too quickly won,
I'll frown, and be perverse, and say thee nay, (100)
So thou wilt woo: but else, not for the world.
Romeo.
Lady, by yonder blessed moon I vow
Juliet.
O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable. (115)
Romeo.
What shall I swear by?
Juliet.
Do not swear at all.
Or if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,
Which is the god of my idolatry,
And I'll believe thee. (120)
Romeo.
If my heart's dear love
Juliet.
Well, do not swear: although I joy in thee,
I have no joy of this contract to-night:
It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden;
Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be (125)
Ere one can say 'It lightens.' Sweet, good night!
This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath,
May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.
Good night, good night! as sweet repose and rest
Come to thy heart as that within my breast! (130)
Romeo.
O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?
Juliet.
What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?

Romeo.
The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine.
Juliet.
I gave thee mine before thou didst request it:
And yet I would it were to give again. (135)
Romeo.
Wouldst thou withdraw it? for what purpose, love?
Juliet.
But to be frank, and give it thee again.
And yet I wish but for the thing I have:
My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee, (140)
The more I have, for both are infinite.
(Nurse calls within)
I hear some noise within; dear love, adieu!
Anon, good nurse! Sweet Montague, be true.
Stay but a little, I will come again.
Exit, above.
Interlude 2
A piece of music is heard while all the characters leave their positions from
the previous Romeo-and-Juliet scene and recreate once more the crowd of
tourists with the museum guide in front of them. All of them talk about the
previous scene in whispered tones, but we can hear the group of girlfriends
on top of everyone else.
OPHELIA-TOURIST: How powerful love can be when it is innocent and pure...
PORTIA-TOURIST: Powerful... or foolish... Would they have behaved in this
way if they had been, lets say, in their thirties?
NERISSA-TOURIST: Your cynicism will take you nowhere, my dear.
TITANIA-TOURIST: I could not agree with you more!
A mobile telephone beeps. Its Ophelias. She takes it out from her pocket or
small handbag.
OBERON-GUIDE: I told you to switch off your mobile phone, sweet lady...!
OPHELIA-TOURIST: I am sorry! I was just expecting a phone call from my
boyfriend. He is on a trip to Denmark...
She moves to one side to check the message she has just received. She will
read something very shocking that will leave her without words for some
seconds. Hamlet-tourist observes her from the distance...

OBERON-GUIDE: Ok, lets have a look at our second painting, Hamlet and
Ophelia!
TOURISTS: Oooooh!!
OBERON-GUIDE: The sweet Ophelia offers a bunch of letters to her beloved
Hamlet, but little does she know that the Prince, who sees signs of
betrayal everywhere, will reject this present and insult her gesture in
the worst way...
PORTIA-TOURIST: You see...? Love can be cruel, sometimes...!
NERISSA-TOURIST: Oh, come on!
LADY M-TOURIST: No, its just that some men do not know how to behave in
their relationships (looking at Macbeth-tourist) when they get too
obsessed with other matters which do not have anything to do with
love... (Macbeth-tourist feels embarrassed but does not know why).
PUCK-TOURIST: But what does Hamlet do to Ophelia in this scene, exactly?
Ophelia comes back to the group and shouts in despair. Ophelia should have
the mobile phone on hand.
OPHELIA-TOURISTS: Hes left me!
TOURISTS: Who?!!
OPHELIA-TOURIST: My fianc! I cannot believe it! He has just broken up with
me... over a text message...! He says I am using him, no, that my
father is actually spying on him...! Hes absolutely mad! Oh gosh,
what does my father have to do with...? And... Oh, he insists that I
keep all his presents as... as a sign of my betrayal! Does this make
any sense to you? Because it doesnt to me...!
She leaves the space, in distress. The group watch her leave. An awkward
silence.
BOTTOM-TOURIST: And all that through a bloody sms....
JULIET-TOURIST: Coward...!
ROMEO-TOURIST: Yeah... Yeah...
HAMLET-TOURIST: Well, well, well... Who knows what she must have done to
the poor bloke.
WOMEN: What?!!
HAMLET-TOURIST: I mean.... She seems so... She looks just... perfect... Very
sweet and all... But you never know, these days, you never... She said
that this guy from Denmark is being spied on, he is definitely under a
lot of pressure... Or at least it looks like he is...
MACBETH-TOURIST: (Discreetly, as a friend) Dont... just.... dont... My
friend... I wouldnt... Believe me...
HAMLET-TOURIST: What? What shouldnt I say? Why cant we speak our
mind?
The crowd has become gradually divided into two small groups, who form
the physical entrance of Juliet and Hamlet in the next scene. Hamlet-tourist
continues his speech with Hamlets words: Thus conscience does make
cowards of us all while the light changes.
HAMLET AND OPHELIA SCENE Hamlet should throw the cards in the
middle of the stage
HAMLET
(continues monologue that other performers have started)

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;

And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.--Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.
OPHELIA
Good my lord,
How does your honour for this many a day?
HAMLET
I humbly thank you; well, well, well.
OPHELIA
My lord, I have remembrances of yours,
That I have longed long to re-deliver;
I pray you, now receive them.
HAMLET
No, not I;
I never gave you aught.
OPHELIA
My honour'd lord, you know right well you did;
And, with them, words of so sweet breath composed
As made the things more rich: their perfume lost,
Take these again; for to the noble mind
Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind.
There, my lord.
HAMLET
Ha, ha! are you honest?
OPHELIA
My lord?
HAMLET
Are you fair?
OPHELIA
What means your lordship?
HAMLET
That if you be honest and fair, your honesty should
admit no discourse to your beauty.
OPHELIA
Could beauty, my lord, have better commerce than
with honesty?

HAMLET
Ay, truly; for the power of beauty will sooner
transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the
force of honesty can translate beauty into his
likeness: this was sometime a paradox, but now the
time gives it proof. I did love you once.
OPHELIA
Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so.
HAMLET
You should not have believed me; for virtue cannot
so inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of
it: I loved you not.
OPHELIA
I was the more deceived.
HAMLET
Get thee to a nunnery: why wouldst thou be a
breeder of sinners? I am myself indifferent honest;
but yet I could accuse me of such things that it
were better my mother had not borne me: I am very
proud, revengeful, ambitious, with more offences at
my beck than I have thoughts to put them in,
imagination to give them shape, or time to act them
in. What should such fellows as I do crawling
between earth and heaven? We are arrant knaves,
all; believe none of us. Go thy ways to a nunnery.
Where's your father?
OPHELIA
At home, my lord.
HAMLET
Let the doors be shut upon him, that he may play the
fool no where but in's own house. Farewell.
OPHELIA
O, help him, you sweet heavens!
HAMLET
If thou dost marry, I'll give thee this plague for
thy dowry: be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as
snow, thou shalt not escape calumny. Get thee to a
nunnery, go: farewell. Or, if thou wilt needs
marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough
what monsters you make of them. To a nunnery, go,
and quickly too. Farewell.
OPHELIA
O heavenly powers, restore him!

HAMLET
I have heard of your paintings too, well enough; God
has given you one face, and you make yourselves
another: you jig, you amble, and you lisp, and
nick-name God's creatures, and make your wantonness
your ignorance. Go to, I'll no more on't; it hath
made me mad. I say, we will have no more marriages:
those that are married already, all but one, shall
live; the rest shall keep as they are. To a
nunnery, go.
Exit
OPHELIA
O, what a noble mind is here o'erthrown!
The courtier's, soldier's, scholar's, eye, tongue, sword;
The expectancy and rose of the fair state,
The glass of fashion and the mould of form,
The observed of all observers, quite, quite down!
And I, of ladies most deject and wretched,
That suck'd the honey of his music vows,
Now see that noble and most sovereign reason,
Like sweet bells jangled, out of tune and harsh;
That unmatch'd form and feature of blown youth
Blasted with ecstasy: O, woe is me,
To have seen what I have seen, see what I see!
Interlude 3
Change of light. Actors go back to their tourist-positions while they
comment on the previous scene. Ophelia comes back to the group. Hamlettourist observes her from a certain distance.
NERISSA-TOURIST: Are you ok, sweetie?
OPHELIA-TOURIST: Yes. I just needed to... I just had a good cry, thats all. But
to hell with him and his paranoid obsessions!
LADY M-TOURIST: Well said!
MACBETH-TOURIST: (Unaware of the womens comments) But Hamlet... Ok,
he was very cruel to Ophelia in the end, we know that.... But he had a
point, you know? He was being spied on, and Ophelia was part of the
scheme, even if she didnt... want to be... I mean, he was not really
crazy, after all, he did not imagine things..! And some men... well,
many men, in fact, can be very... sensitive indeed... and they may...
overreact because of that...
ROMEO-TOURIST: Yeah, yeah! (Unsure all of a sudden, in case this is not
right) Yeah? (Pause) Yeah... (Juliet-tourist laughs).
TITANIA-TOURIST: I agree. And some women can be trouble, too... (Looking
at the Museum Guide with a naughty smile) Cant they...?
OBERON-GUIDE: (Avoiding her)... Which leads us to our third painting in this
collection: the Nerissa-and-Portia portraits...!
TOURISTS: Oooooh!
OBERON-GUIDE: These are two famous characters from...
JULIET-TOURIST:... The Merchant of Venice! Yeah, we studied this play last
year. Portia is... wow... She is my heroine! She is clever, beautiful, so...

ROMEO-TOURIST: A SuperWoman...
PORTIA-TOURIST: (Whispering) I do not know those two... Lets go to the loo
before they close!
NERISSA-TOURISTS: (Unsure) Ok...
They leave the group while the guide continues his explanation.
OBERON-GUIDE: Yes, she is definitely one of the most interesting of all the
Shakespearean roles for women. And her maid, Nerissa, one of the
funniest.
BOTTOM-TOURIST: Why are they part of this collection? Did they have like...
a... a.... relationship?
OBERON-GUIDE: No, not at all...
JULIET-TOURIST: (Almost overlapping) But homosexual love is suggested in
this play through two of the male characters...
BOTTOM-TOURIST: (Ignoring the guide) Oh, I see...
OBERON-GUIDE: ... They were just good friends. Nerissa is Portias
confidante and best advisor. Portia has a serious love problem: she
cannot find her soul mate...
OPHELIA-TOURIST: (Lost in her thoughts while Hamlet-tourist still observes
her) It rings a bell...!
OBERON-GUIDE:... because, to be honest, she is a bit... picky, you know...?
She is obsessed with finding the one, whatever that means...!
LADY M-TOURIST: (very sweetly, all of a sudden) We are so lucky to have
each other, my dear...
MACBETH-TOURIST: (the same) I know...!
OBERON-GUIDE: Portia is a very modern figure... She is the eternal romantic
single, like... like one of those characters in modern TV shows, you
know?
JULIET-TOURIST Like Lorelai Gilmore...!?
OBERON-GUIDE: Sort of, even if Lorelai eventually...
PUCK-TOURIST: Or Carrie Bradshaw!?
OBERON-GUIDE: Thats right!
TITANIA-GUIDE: Or Ally McBeal...!
OBERON-GUIDE: Even better!
BOTTOM TOURIST: Wow... So much for original, post-feminist TV...!
HAMLET-TOURIST: (to Ophelia, shyly) Do you know what they are talking
about?
OPHELIA-TOURIST: (Surprised by the stranger and lying) I dont have the
faintest idea...!
While they have this lively conversation (approximately after whatever that
means), the actors take up new positions as if they were part of the
audience in a sitcom. They will provide the laughter to all the witty
remarks from the next scene. A song from one of the shows aforementioned
is played for this transition.
PORTIA AND NERISSA SCENE
Interlude 4
All the actors applaud after Portias last witty remark. They get together
again while the guide shows them the next painting.

OPHELIA-TOURIST: This was an educational scene indeed!

HAMLET-TOURIST: Really? Do you identify with Portia?
OPHELIA-TOURIST: Well, no, not really...
HAMLET-TOURISTS: Not all men have to be like this idiot from Denmark, you
know?
OPHELIA-TOURISTS: What? Oh...! Yeah... I know...
OBERON-GUIDE: Ladies, gentlemen, let me draw your attention to our next
painting! A representation of Macbeth and Lady Macbeth..!
TOURISTS: Ooooh!
BOTTOM-TOURIST: (Puzzled) Shouldnt these characters be part of the Death
collection of the museum?
PUCK-TOURISTS: Its true! Macbeth and Lady Macbeth are famous for their
ambition...!
LADY MACBETH: ... and for getting on really well as a couple! And thats why
you have included them in the Love Collection, am I right?
OBERON-GUIDE: Exactly, madam!
PORTIA-TOURIST AND NERISSA TOURIST: Oh my goodness! / Oh boy!
LADY MACBETH-TOURIST: Hey! Who, of all the Shakespearean wives, is more
supportive than her? Huh? Tell me!! Who puts her honour, her life,
her... everything!... at risk so that her husband can be what... what he
deserves to be? Mmm?!
MACBETH-TOURIST: Shes got a point, Im afraid... Macbeth wouldnt have
been King of Scotland if Lady Macbeths... had not insisted on his
killing king Duncan...
TITANIA-TOURIST: But we are talking about two serial killers here!
JULIET-TOURIST: So what? Cant criminals be in love...?
ROMEO-TOURIST: Yeah! Dont they have husbands and wives...? Girlfriends
and boyfriends?
OBERON-GUIDE: Indeed! Macbeth and Lady Macbeth represent a passionate
married couple. They have their ups and downs, of course...
MACBETH: Who doesnt?
LADY MACBETH: Absolutely!
OBERON-GUIDE: ... but they stay together and they are there for each other,
no matter what.
JULIET-GUIDE: (As if she was again in her class, and at the same time as she
was telling the group a ghost story) Yeah, I remember that terrible
scene, when Macbeth comes back to their bedroom... He has just
killed King Duncan and the guardians... and he starts freaking out
about voices he hears... But before he gets there, Lady Macbeth is
just waiting for him in their chamber and is worried that their plot will
be discovered instead...
All of a sudden the lights go out. General chaos. Some members in the
group use their mobile phones, cameras or small torches in order to create
some light. Macbeth-tourist uses this occasion in order to disappear from
the playing field, together with two of the women from the group.
MACBETH-TOURIST: I need some fresh air... I cannot stand the... These
shadows... I think I am going to faint...
LADY MACBETH-TOURIST: Honey? Where are you? I wont have any of this
fainting nonsense again!
OPHELIA-TOURIST: (Taking pity on him) Pssst! Here, this way!
PORTIA-TOURIST: Im coming with you, I also have claustrophobia...!

OBERON-GUIDE: Dont worry, ladies, gentlemen... It happens sometimes,

normally when we get to this part of the visit... The lights will come
back soon. But please, lets make the most of this situation. Come on,
get closer to the painting... and listen to the dark story it tells through
the shadows... Shhht! You have to listen carefully to make the story
come out of the canvass... Just listen.... listen.... listen...
TOURISTS: (whispering, like an echo) Listen... Listen... Listen....
The tourists take their positions on the floor, lying down in a circle around
Lady Macbeth while Macbeth disappears. Lady Macbeth starts whispering
her first lines to the group lying below her.
MACBETH AND LADY MACBETH SCENE
Enter LADY MACBETH
LADY MACBETH
Alack, I am afraid they have awaked,
And 'tis not done. The attempt and not the deed
Confounds us. Hark! I laid their daggers ready;
He could not miss 'em. Had he not resembled
My father as he slept, I had done't.
Enter MACBETH
My husband!
MACBETH
I have done the deed. Didst thou not hear a noise?
LADY MACBETH
I heard the owl scream and the crickets cry.
Did not you speak?
MACBETH
When?
LADY MACBETH
Now.
MACBETH
As I descended?
LADY MACBETH
Ay.
MACBETH
Hark!
Who lies i' the second chamber?

LADY MACBETH
Donalbain.
MACBETH
This is a sorry sight.
(Looking on his hands )
LADY MACBETH
A foolish thought, to say a sorry sight.
MACBETH
There's one did laugh in's sleep, and one cried
'Murder!'
That they did wake each other: I stood and heard them:
But they did say their prayers, and address'd them
Again to sleep.
LADY MACBETH
There are two lodged together.
MACBETH
One cried 'God bless us!' and 'Amen' the other;
As they had seen me with these hangman's hands.
Listening their fear, I could not say 'Amen,'
When they did say 'God bless us!'
LADY MACBETH
Consider it not so deeply.
MACBETH
But wherefore could not I pronounce 'Amen'?
I had most need of blessing, and 'Amen'
Stuck in my throat.
LADY MACBETH
These deeds must not be thought
After these ways; so, it will make us mad.
MACBETH
Methought I heard a voice cry 'Sleep no more!
Macbeth does murder sleep', the innocent sleep,
Sleep that knits up the ravell'd sleeve of care,
The death of each day's life, sore labour's bath,
Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,
Chief nourisher in life's feast,-LADY MACBETH
What do you mean?
MACBETH
Still it cried 'Sleep no more!' to all the house:
'Glamis hath murder'd sleep, and therefore Cawdor
Shall sleep no more; Macbeth shall sleep no more.'

LADY MACBETH
Who was it that thus cried? Why, worthy thane,
You do unbend your noble strength, to think
So brainsickly of things. Go get some water,
And wash this filthy witness from your hand.
Why did you bring these daggers from the place?
They must lie there: go carry them; and smear
The sleepy grooms with blood.
MACBETH
I'll go no more:
I am afraid to think what I have done;
Look on't again I dare not.
LADY MACBETH
Infirm of purpose!
Give me the daggers: the sleeping and the dead
Are but as pictures: 'tis the eye of childhood
That fears a painted devil. If he do bleed,
I'll gild the faces of the grooms withal;
For it must seem their guilt.
Knocking within
MACBETH
Whence is that knocking?
How is't with me, when every noise appals me?
What hands are here? ha! they pluck out mine eyes.
Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this blood
Clean from my hand? No, this my hand will rather
The multitudinous seas in incarnadine,
Making the green one red.
LADY MACBETH
My hands are of your colour; but I shame
To wear a heart so white.
Knocking within
I hear a knocking
At the south entry: retire we to our chamber;
A little water clears us of this deed:
How easy is it, then! Your constancy
Hath left you unattended.
Knocking within
Hark! more knocking.
Get on your nightgown, lest occasion call us,
And show us to be watchers. Be not lost
So poorly in your thoughts.

Interlude 5
The lights come up again. The group is back to their tourist positions.
Macbeth and Lady Macbeth are still holding each other, unaware of the
change around them. (Portia-tourist and Ophelia-tourist are not part of this
interlude. They are waiting in a corner behind the audience with their
guitars).
MACBETH-TOURIST: I think we could consider the possibility of acquiring
this collection of paintings, my dear...
LADY MACBETH: This could be a really good asset for our business... I just
love your ambition!
HAMLET-TOURIST: Shht!
OBERON-TOURIST: Dear visitors... Before we finish our visit, let me show you
the last piece of our collection: a scene from Shakespeares delightful
comedy about crazy love, A Midsummer Nights Dream!
TOURISTS: Ooooooh!
NERISSA-TOURIST: What a strange painting! Who are these characters?
The guide would like to provide an explanation but Juliet-tourist is faster
than him.
JULIET-TOURIST: Titania, the queen of fairies; Oberon, the king of magic
creatures... Puck, his naughty jester; and Bottom, the poor craftsman
that has become an ass after drinking Pucks love juice! Now Titania
is in love with this ass...
NERISSA-TOURIST: Typical...
Bottom-tourist laughs like an ass and Puck-tourist hits her in the head as a
joke, but she hits her too hard.
PUCK-TOURIST: Dont be an assho...
BOTTOM-TOURIST: Hey! You dont treat me like an ass! Crazy woman..! (She
runs away to a corner).
JULIET-TOURIST: ... which is Oberons revenge on Titania because she was
too fond of a young boy that Oberon also wanted to have as a serv...
ROMEO-TOURIST: You are soooo perfect its just not true...
OBERON-GUIDE: Well, to cut a long story short, this is a hilarious scene in
which Shakespeare basically shows us how foolish and also how
wonderful love can be...
Gradual change of lights. While the actors take up their new positions as
creatures of the forest, they get engaged in a contest of Shakespearean
quotes.
NERISSA-TOURIST: (While she admires the painting, as a sign of transition
from the interlude to the next scene) Love is blind, and lovers cannot
see, The pretty follies that themselves commit!
PUCK-TOURIST: (Mischievously leaving the scene) Love goes by haps; some
Cupid kills with arrows
HAMLET-TOURIST: . some with traps!
JULIET-TOURIST: Love is like a child, That longs for everything it can come
by.
ROMEO-TOURIST: Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?
LADY MACBETH-TOURIST: Speak low if you speak love

MACBETH-TOURIST: The course of true love never did run smooth!

TITANIA-TOURIST: Love is a smoke and is made with the fume of sighs
OBERON-TOURIST: Sigh no more, ladies and gentlemen or shall we? If
music be the food of love, play on!!
Sound of guitars. Bottom appears with the two guitarists behind him and
wearing his ass-ears and nose. Titania awaits him in the playing field while
the rest of the group sings an adaptation of Sigh no more. The rest of the
actors have become magic creatures from the forest.
A MIDSUMMER NIGHTS DREAM SCENE
Enter TITANIA and BOTTOM; OBERON and PUCK behind, unseen
TITANIA
Come, sit thee down upon this flowery bed,
While I thy amiable cheeks do coy,
And stick musk-roses in thy sleek smooth head,
And kiss thy fair large ears, my gentle joy.
BOTTOM
Scratch my head, my fairy queen.
TITANIA
What's your Will my lord?
BOTTOM
Nothing, melady, but I
am such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me,
I must scratch.
TITANIA
What, wilt thou hear some music,
my sweet love?
BOTTOM
I have a reasonable good ear in music.
But, I pray you, let none of your fairies stir me: I
have an exposition of sleep come upon me.
TITANIA
Sleep thou, and I will wind thee in my arms.
Fairies, begone, and be all ways away.
Exeunt fairies

O, how I love thee!

They sleep. Enter PUCK and OBERON
OBERON
See'st thou this sweet sight?
Her dotage now I do begin to pity:
For, meeting her of late behind the wood,
Seeking sweet favours from this hateful fool,
I did upbraid her and fall out with her;
Come, gentle Puck, take this transformed scalp
From off the head of this Athenian swain;
That, he awaking when the other do,
May all to Athens back again repair
And think no more of this night's accidents
But as the fierce vexation of a dream.
But first I will release the fairy queen.
Be as thou wast wont to be;
See as thou wast wont to see:
Dian's bud o'er Cupid's flower
Hath such force and blessed power.
Now, my Titania; wake you, my sweet queen.
TITANIA
My Oberon! what visions have I seen!
Methought I was enamour'd of an ass.
OBERON
There lies your love.
TITANIA
How came these things to pass?
O, how mine eyes do loathe his visage now!
OBERON
Silence awhile. Puck, take off this head.
Titania, music call; and strike more dead
Than common sleep of all these five the sense.
TITANIA
Music, ho! music, such as charmeth sleep!
Music, still
PUCK
Now, when thou wakest, with thine
own fool's eyes peep.
OBERON
Sound, music! Come, my queen, take hands with me,
And rock the ground whereon these sleepers be.

Now thou and I are new in amity,

And will to-morrow midnight solemnly
Dance in Duke Theseus' house triumphantly,
And bless it to all fair prosperity:
There shall the pairs of faithful lovers be.
+ last lines which the Museum Guide delivers as a continuation of
his final Oberon speech:
And all of you, magic creatures from the forest, fairies, goblins, dear
friends! Please, come and join us in this final dance! If we as poor mortals
are capable of all this, as William Shakespeare said, Cupid is no longer an
archer: his glory shall be ours, for we are the only love-gods!
All the characters dance and leave the playing field, led by Oberon and
Titania, and followed by Puck and Bottom.