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HOW TO GET ALONG WITH

anyone.*
(

* yes, even that person )

understand your love interest, boss,


coworkers, parents, kids, rivals, whoever...

and why theyre in your life.

BY THE ASTROTWINS, OPHIRA & TALI EDUT


ASTROLOGERS FOR ELLE.COM & TV GUIDE

www.astrostyle.com

Please share this book.


Like what you read? We invite you to forward this to guide to anyone and everyone
you think it will help. Seriously. Were passionate about ending unnecessary
human conflict, and helping people have great relationships.
So pass this along liberally. Its free!

how to get along with anyone.


(*yes, even that person.)
Copyright 2011 by The AstroTwins,
Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved.

enjoy our free daily, weekly & monthly horoscopes

www.astrostyle.com

About The AstroTwins, Ophira & Tali Edut


Identical twin sisters Tali and Ophira Edutknown as The
AstroTwinsare professional astrologers who bring the stars
down to earth with a unique, practical combination of astrology and coaching. Their columns and predictions reach
millions every month. They are the astrologers for Elle.com
and myLifetime.com, and regular guests on Sirius Radio. Their
book, The AstroTwins Love Zodiac: The Essential Astrology
Guide for Women (Sourcebooks), is 450-page guide to understanding the men of every sign. Tali and Ophira also give
private consultations, and have read charts for celebrities including Beyonce, Stevie Wonder and Sting. Through chart reading and consultation services and
their website AstroStyle.com, they help clients and readers manifest amazing lives. Based in New
York City and Seattle, Ophira and Tali enjoy city life with husbands, kids and pet dachshunds.

THE SECRET OF COMPATIBILITY

is in the distance between your signs

You know that ONE person who can push your


buttons like nobody else in the world? No matter
how enlightened you are, every interaction with them
reduces you to a frustrated mess.
You scream in public. You cry in
the bathroom. You rage to your
friends. Ugh! How did they get to
you again?
Then there are your kindred spirits,
the people with whom you just instantly click. Theres no need to explain yourself; its like youve known
each other for lifetimes. (Surprise:
maybe you have. More on that in a
sec.)
It would be great if we could just
fill the world with soulmates and
ship the difficult people off to
some desert island. Unfortunately,
they often happen to be our parents, children, bosses, coworkers, spouses...people with
whom our lives are inextricably intertwined.
Its sink or swim. Youve got to make it work. And thats
where astrology can help.
If youre reading this, chances are, youve heard the generic astrology compatibility tips. Im a Cancer, shes
a Scorpio. Were both water signs, so were perfect for
each other! Or, Hes a Virgo and Im an Aquarius
thats a terrible match, Ive heard. I really like him, but
we probably shouldnt date, right?
Wrong.
Studying and practicing astrology for almost 20 years,
weve come to believe that everyone is in your life for
a reason. And that reason is encoded in the angle between your signs. Astrology is based on angles (called
aspects in astro-speak), each one creating a unique
interpersonal dynamic.
Some aspects do make for a smoother relationship, but
heres something else weve learned: easy doesnt necessarily mean good. Certainly, you need kindred spirits

(or, as our friend Gabrielle Bernstein calls them, spiritual running buddies). But sometimes, you need a challenge in order to evolve. The person who pushes you
out of your comfort zone, or reflects
your own inner struggles, can be a
powerful teacher. Often, we attract
difficult people unconsciously because our souls yearn to grow. We
need to wake up, pay attention, learn
something. So dont shoot the messengereven if he is a Capricorn (or
whatever sign youve put on your
cosmic s--t list).
As twins, weve been lifelong students of interpersonal dynamics. Its
the nature of being born this way
(cue the Lady Gaga). Sure, weve had
our spats. But weve also been negotiating since the crib, where we shared
toys and even invented our own language. We cut our coexisting teeth on
years of birthday parties, when friends gave us shared
presentsas if we were each half a person. (Trust us:
one memorable fight over a Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine
in 1979 taught us the value of compromise.)
We wrote this guide to help you understand WHY. Why
are these tear-your-hair-out, frustrating relationships in
your life? We say its because theres something for you
to learn. The suffering and friction and conflict...well, it
ceases to be as big of an issue when you understand that
persons purpose in your life on a karmic/soul level. You
stop trying to change them and you quit pretending to
be someone youre not. You can say, This is what Im
dealing with here. Do I accept it or not? The power is
back in your hands.
As astrologers, were all about helping you make a conscious choice from an informed place. Thats what we
love about astrology. It gives you a map, but YOU are
always the driver. So here are a few things weve learned
on our own journeys, through trial and observation,
through hurled objects and weepy reconciliations. May
it bring you peaceyes, even with that person.

Ophira & Tali Edut

when youre the SAME SIGN


energy: self-acceptance * aspect name: conjunct

As they say, how can you love somebody else unless you
love yourself? Youll find out exactly how deep your selflove runs when you tangle with a signmate. Its like looking in the mirror: On a good day, you steal a few extra
glances at the hottie smiling back. Yeah, baby! But when
your hair is a wreck or an adult acne outbreak strikes,
the last thing you want to see is your own reflection.
When a signmate mirrors your better traits, you find
yourself high-fiving, feeling validated and laughing
aloud with recognition. When s/he presents the ugly
truth about your own flawsor demonstrates a raw,
unevolved trait common to your signyou just want
to run and hide.
For example, as outspoken Sagittarians, we know that
our sign has a rep for bluntness. We adore the refresh-

ing honesty and outrageous humor of a fellow Sag...to


a point. But put two of us in a tight relationship, and
were either wetting our pants in the street from laughing (see photograph, next page) or were in each others
faces preaching about how to live...until the conversation escalates into a heated fight.
Cringe-inducing confession: Ophi once slapped a fellow
Sag (and to this day, a dear friendthank God were a
forgiving sign) across the face when he wouldnt stop a
barrage of unsolicited business advice. The slap literally
echoed down a New York City block. Yet, who was often
guilty of sledge-hammering her own friends and family with know-it-all coaching on many an occasion?
(Meek hand-raise from Ophi.)

ESSENTIAL SKILLS FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP


Embrace the spectrum.

With any zodiac sign, there are a spectrum of qualities


from good to bad. Give yourselves room to express
the whole range. One day, that fellow Cancer will morph
into a moody bee-yotch, instead of being a caring confidante who spoils you with home-cooked meals. The
next day, roles reverse, and youre the cranky cat lady

Iatss raidsingeaasy
bike. .sometimes.
4

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

throwing hot grits at your honey because he didnt make


the bed. Its just the way it goes.

Bring in a third party to balance it out.


Sometimes, too much of a good thing is just...too much.
Signmates may find it helpful to have a third person (of
another sign) mediate conflict and ease your dynamic.
For instance, two airy Geminis who bring out each others flaky sides can benefit from the grounding impact of
an earthy Virgo friend. Or, two workaholic Capricorn
business partners might appreciate having a playful Leo
assistant who reminds them to go have fun.
Same-sign couples might find it easy to disappear into
a bubble-for-two, but this can eventually backfire. Autonomy is important to keep the friction alive. Hanging
with other people creates healthy separation between
your identities. Otherwise, passion can cool to a brother-sister vibe.

Own your quirks.


If you havent learned to love yourself, warts and all, this
relationship can inspire some crucial self-acceptance. If
you find yourself pissed off by every little thing a signmate does, check in: Is it because you do these things,
too, and are in denial about it? Is this person reminding
you of some not-so-distant mistakes youve made that
youre still beating yourself up for? Or are they expressing some traits you feel ashamed about in yourself?
Chances are, your irksome signmate is revealing an exaggerated version of your flaws, and you feel exposed.
Like that fellow Virgo who sends back every dish she orders at a restaurant and whips out the Purell sanitizer after shaking your hand. Or that other Taurus who namedrops and demands to know the vineyard and vintage

Two Sags (us) cracking up on the streets of NYC, as


photographed by our friend & fellow Sagittarius Dan.

of any wine before taking a sip. So maybe you only send


back every tenth meal, or just quietly order the same
Pinot Noir and swirl it to check its legs. If someone
could put your thoughts on loudspeaker, theyd totally
hear you obsessing about germs when people hug you,
or judging your friend for ordering a house zinfandel
and not knowing what the word sommelier means. Yeah,
its neurotic, embarrassing and kind of weird. So what?
Own it.

LESSONS OF THIS RELATIONSHIP


To see your best and worst qualities
mirrored back
Self-acceptance
Working through sibling rivalry
Getting past self-consciousness
Owning your authentic quirks

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

when youre

1 SIGN APART

energy: friction, difference * aspect: inconjunct


MEET YOUR MATCH:
Aries: Pisces, Taurus
Taurus: Aries, Gemini
Gemini: Taurus, Cancer
Cancer: Gemini, Leo

Leo: Cancer, Virgo


Virgo: Leo, Libra
Libra: Virgo, Scorpio
Scorpio: Libra, Sag

Of course, all that friction can lead to explosive sexual


chemistry, even an obsessive desire to figure each other
out (heads-up: you never completely will). Some astrologers believe that each sign is an evolved version of the
one before it. According to that theory, the sign after
yours is a teacheralthough you may never admit it
until years later.
This combination can make for painful breakups, and
a seething sexual tension that lingers for a lifetime. (I
cant quit ya!) Mostly, its because you never figure each
other out, no matter how many fights, self-help books
and therapy sessions you endure. As Sagittarians, weve
both been in infuriating romantic relationships with
Scorpios and Capricorns that still feel a little unresolved
years later. As hard as we tried, there was never any true
closureand with one-sign-apart relationships, thats
6

something you learn to accept.


But what happens in the
bedroom is a far cry from
the boardroom. In business
relationships, the one-signapart dynamic can be fantastic. This is where differences
can actually be an asset. Say
youre a Taurus business
type who loves money and
hates marketing. Team up
with an Aries PR maven and
a Gemini social media whiz. While you decorate your
corner office and write corporate bylaws, theyll score
you 13,000 Twitter followers and an interview on the
five o clock news.
Still, this comes with a warning label: you must each
carve out your own turf and be crystal-clear about roles.
We learned this the hard way during a joint business
venture with a Scorpio years ago. At the outset, she admired our grand Sagittarian vision, and we loved her
hawklike attention to the financial bottom line. Until,
that is, she wanted us to work in an office 9-to-5 (death
to the Sag free spirit!) and analyze weekly profit-andloss spreadsheets printed in (no kidding) 5-point Times
New Roman.
With typical Sag impulsiveness, Ophi moved to a remote, chilly northern Minnesota town for six months as
part of this deal. She only discovered their different daily

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

Photo by Cory Verellen, www.landcameras.com

Like next-door neighbors


with a completely different
style of decorating, gardening and living, the signs on
either side of yours can stir
up an instant love/hate vibe.
Signs that are inconjunct (as
this angle is called) to each
other have no astrological
traits in common. For example, one of you is a fire sign,
the other is earth element;
one is yin the other yang;
one is a flexible mutable
sign while the other is a stubborn fixed quality.

Sagittarius: Scorpio, Capricorn


Capricorn: Sagittarius, Aquarius
Aquarius: Capricorn, Pisces
Pisces: Aquarius, Aries

work styles AFTER settling into a damp apartment on


the same street as a taxidermy shop and a rundown casino. It was an intense time, but also a period of incredible self-discovery. In hindsight, were grateful for the
experience, though it certainly wasnt easy.

ESSENTIAL SKILLS FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP


Get over yourself.

So you think your way is the right way, the only way,
the best way to do things? Think again. Mastering this
relationship means admitting that someone elses standard operating procedure is equally valid to yours. This
can be humbling to the ego, and youll need to swallow
your pride on a regular basis. Adopt a firm Im okay,
youre okay or live and let live stance. There will be
times when youll need to agree to disagree, and even
take cooling-off periods. Just do it.

Heap on the praise.


When you feel jealous or threatened by your differences,
dont compete. Give a compliment instead. Yeah, this
is the last thing youll want to do when youre upset.
Make an effort to praise each other often during the
good timesfor reinforcements sake. When youre in
the midst of a teary-eyed brawl, at least theres a chance
youll remember the love.

Sometimes, its hard to see each other clearly.


Stand up for yourself.
Validation doesnt come easily in a one-sign-apart relationship. Youre usually too busy trying to figure each
other out, or to find some common ground. So guess
what? Youve got to validate yourself. Be bold about asserting your opinions, needs and beliefs. In this relationship, nobody is a mind-reader, so youve got to spell it
out in black-and-white. This will take courage, as you
may be afraid of baring your soul to an unappreciative
audience. Learning courage is one of this relationships
biggest benefits, thoughso man (or woman) up!

LESSONS OF THIS RELATIONSHIP


To see how the other side lives

Be the top AND the bottom.


Because your personalities are so distinct, youll need
to take turns being the alpha in the relationship. One
leads, the other supportsand vice-versa. Celebrity
couple Jennifer Lopez (Leo) and Marc Anthony (Virgo)
seem to have this figured out. While she was in the spotlight judging American Idol, he was backstage coaching
the hopeful contestants. During the Season 10 finale,
he gave a grand performance and she came onstage as a
backup dancer. Spending time together like they do is
important for same-sign couples, too, since youre more
likely to bond through shared experiences than common personality traits.

To team up with a mate who has qualities you dont


(and vice versa)

Deep

healing

and

transformation,

at

times

through painful growth


To learn from each others differences
To force you out of your fear-based comfort zone or
emotional paralysis
Growth through challenge or contrast
How to assert yourself with someone who doesnt
instantly get you
Making peace with the enemy

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

when youre

2 SIGNS APART

energy: friendship, communication * astro-terminology: sextile


MEET YOUR MATCH:
Aries: Aquarius, Gemini
Taurus: Pisces, Cancer
Gemini: Aries, Leo
Cancer: Taurus, Virgo

Leo: Gemini, Libra


Virgo: Cancer, Scorpio
Libra: Leo, Sagittarius
Scorpio: Virgo, Capricorn

Sagittarius: Libra, Aquarius


Capricorn: Scorpio, Pisces
Aquarius: Sagittarius, Aries
Pisces: Capricorn, Taurus

Friendship and communication are the hallmarks of this


aspect. Youre the duo that could go on Survivor or The
Amazing Race and smoke the competition because youre
so in sync. You play well together, so you make fabulous
party co-hosts if your circles overlap. Business ventures
between these signs are favorable, too, since you bring
out each others creativity and productivity.
Being best friends is easy. Keeping the spark alive? A
little challenging. Sextile couples need to structure date
nights or set up scenarios that get you out of buddy
mode. Friends and coworkers need to consciously introduce new topics and activities to avoid falling into a
glazed-eye rut.

ESSENTIAL SKILLS FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP


Add spice liberally.

Heres a cautionary tale of two-signs-apart couple Jennifer Aniston (Aquarius) and Brad Pitt (Sagittarius). In
their wedding vows, he promised to split the difference
8

Photo by Cory Verellen, www.landcameras.com

Its easy and breezy to be around people who live two


zodiac signs away. Your signs are always of a compatible element (for example, one of you is a Water sign
and the other is an Earth sign). Thus, youll have similar values and attitudes about everything: food, music,
politics, family, which movies to rent. The lack of selfconsciousness you feel around each other makes it easy
to take new risks. You feel comfortable lounging around
bra-less reading the Sunday paper, or peeing with the
door open.

on the thermostat and she swore to always make his


favorite banana milkshake. Cute. But the human soul
craves a higher calling from our relationships than effortlessness. (To wit: even the best milkshake was no
match for rebuilding hurricane-ravaged towns with an
intriguing citizen of the world and her brood.)
This astrological angle is one of friendships and siblings.
No wonder Brad and Jens wedding and red carpet photos were so captivating: they look like brother and sister.
After the excitement of discovering you have everything
in common, life together can get kind of flat and predictable. The two-signs-apart couple can avoid the Braniston trap by proactively introducing life-expanding
ideas into the relationship. Sharing new restaurants,
movies, vacations and intellectually stimulating experi-

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

ences can keep things fresh.


Friends, siblings and coworkers who are two signs
apart can devolve into sibling rivalry at times, working each others nerves in that too-close-for-comfort
way. The issue: You feel so comfortable around each
other that you may take each other for granted. For
years, we made the egregious error of not attending
a Libra writer friends book signings, figuring she
wouldnt miss us. A decade later, we found that wed
deeply hurt her feelings. Lesson learned: better to put
forth the effort than have a messy cleanup later.

Use body language, not buddy language.


Dude. Bro. Man. Homie. The first syllable of each others names. Whatever your impersonal nicknames are,
the football locker room talk will make this relationship feel like more like The Hangover than a cherished
connection. Yeah, its fun to punch each others arms
and tease like teenage siblings. But remember, sibling
relationships can also be cruel. Make an effort to compliment each other, even if it feels silly, awkward and
formal. If youre a couple, skip the cutesie nicknames
and baby talkor at least cut back on it.

Relax, kick your feet up, read a book together.

Have a common enemy or gripe.


Okay, we dont really recommend this as a long-term
strategy, because yknow, its kind of a time-waster to
bond over bitching. But the power of this relationship
is in your synergistic worldviews and easy dialogue.
Just when youve run out of things to talk about and are
about to start bickering or neglecting each otherbam.
Along comes that person whose outrageous self-centeredness offends you both for the same reasons. Who
can dissect the episode blow by blow better than your
two-signs-away buddy? Nobody.
A less toxic version of this is sharing a laugh over a quirky
observation. We have this dynamic with our Libra sister
Leora, who is two signs away from us. Although we fight
all the usual sibling turf wars, we get hysterical imitating
our parents quirky Eastern European friends (accents
and all) or making up ridiculously snarky song lyrics

about wacky situations we encounter. These inside jokes


are our go-to tension relievers when weve been fighting
over the remote control or who ate the last carton of
Chinese food leftovers.

LESSONS OF THIS RELATIONSHIP


How to be best friends with benefits
The possibility of great communication
How to speak up, listen, and be heard
How to keep the spark going when it stops
automatically lighting itself
Romance forming naturally out of friendship
A no-pressure gig with someone who doesnt
demand more than you can give

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

when youre

3 SIGNS APART

energy: challenge, competition, dynamic balance * astro-terminology: square

MEET YOUR MATCH:


Aries: Cancer, Capricorn
Taurus: Aquarius, Leo
Gemini: Pisces, Virgo
Cancer: Aries, Libra

Leo: Taurus, Scorpio


Virgo: Gemini, Sagittarius
Libra: Cancer, Capricorn
Scorpio: Leo, Aquarius

Power! Passion! Intrigue! Your signs form a harsh,


90-degree angle to each other, creating a push-pull dynamic. There can be power struggles and clashing agendas. Dont expect to kick back and put your feet up.
Three signs apart relationships keep you on your toes, in
constant negotiation and dialogue. The tension makes
you active and keyed up. Of course, that could be exactly what you want. The opportunity of the square
aspect is to teach you
how to compromise
with an equally strongwilled partner. When
you strike that delicate
balance, you can make
an undeniable power
couplea true force
to be reckoned with.
A few notable examples: Bill and Hillary
Clinton. Jennifer Lopez and P. Diddy. Arnold Schwarzenegger
and Maria Shriver. Yeah, they all ended up with scandalous People magazine cover stories. But when they
combined their willpower and resources, they were untouchable, head-turning duos who could sweep nearly
any awards show or election.

Sagittarius: Virgo, Pisces


Capricorn: Aries, Libra
Aquarius: Scorpio, Taurus
Pisces: Gemini, Sagittarius

because your signs rule the fourth house (the mother


sector) and the tenth house (the father zone) of each
others charts. Its quite likely that you were each others
parent or child in a past life, and have reunited for another karmic go-round.
You may very well enter each others lives to heal those
parent-child issues. As Sagittarians, weve had profound
relationships with Virgos and Pisces. These
relationships
both
healed and triggered
some abandonment
fears we didnt even
know we had. The
breakups were rough,
and definitely took a
few rounds of backand-forth to really cut
the cord.
The saving grace of
your three signs apart
combo? Your signs share the same astrological quality.
Youre both either a flexible mutable sign, a stubborn
fixed sign, or an initiating cardinal sign. For this reason,
youll share some common values and approaches to
life. The trick is to balance the proportions, so that you
dont step on each others toes.

Got mommy and daddy issues? The square relationship


helps you work through baggage from a difficult parent,
sometimes by reactivating old, painful wounds. Thats

10

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

ESSENTIAL SKILLS FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP


Take turns leading and following.

Photo by Cory Verellen, www.landcameras.com

You know the saying about too many cooks being in


the kitchen? One of you is gonna
have to ditch those chefs whites
to avoid stirring the pot or ruining
dinner. Otherwise, you can end
up jockeying for control instead of
playing to your strengths.
Clear communication and expectations, outlined to the letter, also
help. So you need two days apart
minimum each week? You want to
keep your own apartments instead
of moving in together? Whatever
works. Its best to outline these
needs clearly upfrontand to
willingly meet each other halfway.

Deal with your primal


wounds.

Strive for a common goal.


The competitive fires cant be quelled, so might as well
use them to your advantage. Funnel that restless, gogetter energy into a shared challenge. Start a business. Sign up
for a marathon or a Mt. Everest
climb. Run for office and hit the
campaign trail together. Just make
sure you have clearly defined roles
and responsibilities. That way, you
can both shine...without outshining each other.
Having no shared agenda can seriously weaken the bond in three
signs apart pairings. Ophi and her
college boyfriend, a Virgo, shared
an interest in spirituality, and
spent hours at the bookstore (fave
stomping grounds for lifelong
learners Virgo and Sag). It was a
profound two-year relationship
that ran really deep, despite the fact
that they only saw each other on the
weekend and lived two hours apart.
Things were rosy while they were doing space clearings with sage wands or performing full
moon rituals. But when Mr. Virgo decided to be initiated into a West African religious tradition, their paths
diverged. The breakup was painful, and in hindsight,
felt like losing a family member. With a square relationship, you sometimes dont know what youve got til its
gone. But the good part? You usually leave the relationship wiser and self-aware.

Compet
i
t
i
o
n
i
s
fun
i
f
you
have
a common goal or cause.

So, your mother was cold and aloof.


Your parents divorced when you were
ten. Dad hit the road and remarried,
leaving you feeling unwanted. Mm-hmmm. You can either work through that with a therapist, or you can reenact the dynamic with each other.

Whether in love, work, or friendship, the capacity for


neediness is vast in this combination, so you must be
conscious not to dump on each other. Notice when
youre acting like a bratty kid or lecturing like a nagging parent. If youre the parental one, practice the art
of loving detachment and set clear boundaries. If youre
being the whiny baby, step up your level of personal
responsibility. Otherwise, the relationship can become a
burden. A little refresher course on codependence might
be helpful, too.
Many three signs apart couples discover their differences when they become parents together. Dont wait
for this to happen. Discuss your vision for child-rearing
beforehand, as compromise will surely be necessary.

LESSONS OF THIS RELATIONSHIP


Compromise
Conflict resolution
Balancing your dynamic, sometimes
clashing, personalities
Where you can be stubborn and unyielding
Healing old wounds/baggage related
to your parents

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

11

when youre

4 SIGNS APART

energy: harmony, ease * astro-terminology: trine


MEET YOUR MATCH:
FIRE
EARTH
AIR
WATER

Aries: Leo, Sagittarius


Taurus: Virgo, Capricorn
Gemini: Libra, Aquarius
Cancer: Scorpio, Pisces

Leo: Aries, Sagittarius


Virgo: Taurus, Capricorn
Libra: Gemini, Aquarius
Scorpio: Cancer, Pisces

Couldnt getting along


just be easy for once?
Yes! Youve done the bitter breakups, crash-andburn friendships, and
intense showdowns with
those difficult people.
Now, you just want a
break. Chances are, youll
find it with the person
who lives four signs away.
The trine sign shares
the same element as you:
youre both either fire,
earth, air or water signs.
This can create an unspoken kinship and harmony. At last, you dont have to
constantly explain yourself or put on airs. It feels like
coming home after a long journeysafe, comfortable
and familiar.
But again, we must slap on the warning label: easy
doesnt necessarily mean better. Just because you can
drop the niceties and let loose around each other
burping, farting, yanking out wedgies and skipping
showersdoesnt mean you should. Because seriously,
would YOU want to spend all your time around the person who picks her nose and flicks it behind the couch,
or spends all day in a sweaty nightgown? No? Well,
check the mirror, honey: that person is now YOU.
Sharing an element can also be a case of too much of a
good thing. Our parents are both loud, temperamental

12

Sagittarius: Aries, Leo


Capricorn: Taurus, Virgo
Aquarius: Gemini, Libra
Pisces: Cancer, Scorpio

fire signs who have been


married 40 years. (Visiting their house might
be easier with tranquilizers.) Our Sagittarius
dad interrupts our Leo
mom mid-sentence, but
she keeps talking anyway,
until the walls are echoing with words neither of
them even hears. Being
Sagittarians
ourselves,
we jump into the fray,
which only adds to the
noise levels. No wonder
our poor Libra sister (the
lone air sign in the house) blasted her radio as a kid
she needed a loud bass hook to drown out our fire-sign
madness.

ESSENTIAL SKILLS FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP

Make an effort (even if you dont have to).


The trouble with things that come easily is, we tend to
take them for granted. Have you ever run around like
a madman trying to please a difficult, demanding personsomeone you dont even like that much? Its funny
how we spend time appeasing bullies, sucking up to
a--hole bosses, or bailing out that troubled relative yet
again. And who gets shuffled to the bottom of your list?
That tried-and-true friend whos always so understanding and unconditionally loving. Often, this neglected
soul is four signs away from yours.

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

In trine relationships, youll need to preserve some mystery to keep the spark alive. Otherwise, quicker than
you can say Easy Spirit, your wardrobe goes from
low-rise jeans and thongs to worn-out Hanes Her Way
granny panties and drawstring pants. Remember when
Sagittarius Britney Spears was dating Aries Kevin Federline? It was 24/7 trucker caps, dirty white undershirts
and bare feet in public bathrooms. And there was nary
a potato chip or a Big Mac in America that those two
wouldnt devour.
The trine relationship offers the opportunity to reward
the folks who treat us best...just because. Say thank you
and express gratitude, even if you dont have to. Buy
the cards and flowers. For years, our father, a Sagittarius
landscaper, only brought our Leo mom the red roses she
loved when he clipped them out of a customers garden.
(Cough up the cash, pops!)

Lifes a beach with this easy match.


Small wonder that both Ophi and her ex were a good
20 pounds heavier by the time they broke up. A little
autonomy goes a long way to keep the connection alive,
whether youre friends, lovers or family members.

Introduce another kind of energy.


Bust up the cosmic mafia.
Cliques can easily form when youre four signs apart.
Trouble is, other people can feel excluded from all your
inside jokes and conversations, or underrepresented in
your planetary parliament. When its time to vote on vacation spots or to make a business decision, those poor
kids are always outnumbered. If youre surrounded by
signs of your element and everything feels super insidery, push yourself to be more tolerant of those who dont
share your tastes and values.
In a trine love relationship, its so easy to be together, you
dont really take a break. Then one day, you realize that
the whole absence makes the heart grow fonder thing
has its merits. Ophis first live-in boyfriend was in Aries who, while a wonderful person who introduced her
to Costco and pirated music downloads, had a nightly
habit of watching either Lord of the Rings or Gladiator
to wind down. Two years later, Ophi could practically
speak in Elvish, knew her way through Middle Earth
by heart, and would occasionally yell Maximuuuuus!
while raising an invisible spear in victory. A little too
much couple time, ya think?

Too much of a good thing can just be...too much. If your


pond is stocked with too many water signs, bring in a
couple of adventurous fire signs to spice up the action.
A predominance of air signs can become cool, scattered
and emotionally detached. They can benefit from a
splash or water or a bit of grounding earth energy.
There are four elements in the zodiac for a reason, and
its because we need this dynamic balance to create a
healthy whole. Although we may gravitate to people of
our element because we feel at home, too much of that
creates cabin fever. Just as traveling to a foreign country
carves a new dimension into our life experience, hanging with signs outside your element makes you more
worldly and toleranta citizen of the universe.

LESSONS OF THIS RELATIONSHIP:

To feel at home with yourself and a mate


How let down your guard and be yourself
To be understood without explaining yourself
To rest and relax together
To have a best friend and partner in one

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

13

when youre

5 SIGNS APART

energy: adjustment, karmic lessons, compromise * astro-terminology: quincunx

MEET YOUR MATCH:


Leo: Capricorn, Pisces
Virgo: Aquarius, Aries
Libra: Pisces, Taurus
Scorpio: Aries, Gemini

This is a fascinating, complex


combination that defies explanationthe original odd
couple. From one moment
to the next, youll either feel
like youre with a kindred
spirit or a complete stranger,
no matter how many years
youve known each other.
Your bond is intense, unspoken, and baffling even
to you. Its as though youve
always known each other,
but you cant really figure out how. We believe this is
the ultimate past-life reunion, when two people come
together to sort out unfinished business.
Why is this combo so surreal? The person five signs
away from your sign has nothing in common with you
astrologically. For example, youre a masculine air sign,
while theyre a feminine water or earth sign. Youll need
to adapt to your differences, which could take a great
deal of adjustment, even discarding a former lifestyle
(like moving to the country when youre a city girl)
or going without some of your usual creature comforts
(you want a penthouse corner office; your business partner prefers to work from home in pajamas).
This combo can also expose the raw, uncomfortable
truth about power dynamics. Although we all like to
sing kumbaya and pretend we want everything 50/50, in
truth, unequal dynamics are part of every relationship.
Sometimes, differences can be sexy or exciting, especially if you take on complementary roles.
14

Sagittarius: Taurus, Cancer


Capricorn: Gemini, Leo
Aquarius: Cancer, Virgo
Pisces: Leo, Libra

Timing is everything here.


Rivalries can spawn when
five-signs-apart people meet
early in their lives (as childhood sweethearts, family
members or friends, for example). Young quincunx
duos lack the necessary
tools and maturity to handle
their different communication and conflict styles. The
term frenemy was popularized when Aquarius heiress Paris (triple rhyme!) Hilton broke up with BFFs Nicole Richie (Virgo) and Lindsay Lohan (Cancer)the two signs that are five spots
away on the zodiac wheel. Coincidence? We think not.
The older and wiser you are, the easier these relationships become. The quincunx person may be in and out
of your life for years, as you come together for a karmic
lesson or a specific purpose, then go your separate ways
for a while. There may be teary-eyed reconciliations
once youve both grown wiser from experience.

ESSENTIAL SKILLS FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP


Approach it like youre dealing with an
alien (cuz you kind of are).

Imagine you met an extraterrestrial. Youd have zero


expectations that he would speak your language, share
your political beliefs, shop at your favorite boutiques or
enjoy long walks on the beach and comedy clubs, too.

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

Photo by Cory Verellen, www.landcameras.com

Aries: Virgo, Scorpio


Taurus: Libra, Sagittarius
Gemini: Scorpio, Capricorn
Cancer: Sagittarius, Aquarius

Your quincunx buddy might as well have been dropped


from the nearest UFO. If you can choose to find this endearing rather than annoyingwhich will take a lot of
practiceyou can form a lifelong bond. You might even
learn a thing or two from each other. Ophi, a shabbychic and thrift store-loving Sagittarius, is married to a
Taurus who (no kidding) owns a $300 Jil Sander bathing suit. He used to drive a Rolls Royce; she painted her
high school jalopy in 60s-inspired art and named it The
Psychedelic Chariot. Had they met while in high school
or their 20s, they probably wouldnt have meshed.

Photo by Cory Verellen, www.landcameras.com

Know and love thyself.


There is no wiggle room for the unevolved here. These
relationships seem to work best after both people have
gone through a profound experiencedivorce, death of
a loved one, a bad but life-altering breakup, recovery
from addictionsome kind of wakeup call that brought
on extreme self-awareness. Owning your baggage and
knowing your emotional triggers is a must. Otherwise,
youll spend the entire time trying to change each other,
which only leaves you both feeling frustrated and invalidated.

Accept your status as the odd couple.


Remember when Virgo Michael Jackson married Aquarius Lisa Marie Presley? If not, head to YouTube and
watch their super-awkward You Are Not Alone video.
Just see if you can sit through it without growing deeply
uncomfortable. We cant.
In truth, people are going to judge you no matter what.
But in quincunx pairings, it can get especially harsh, so
youll need a thick skin. We know at least two Gemini-Capricorn couples where the Gemini woman is the
breadwinner, while the Cappy works part-time and
plays stay-at-home dad (a rare move for the sign of the
father and provider). Weve heard people gossip about
them, wondering if hes a kept man whos only after
her money. Alternately, the Geminis have been whispered about as man-eating cougars with boy toys.
Not only is this an unfair double standard, its also the
nature of a quincunx bond: to the outside world, the
connection looks strange and inexplicable. But often, it
totally works for you. Remember: thats what matters. If
youre happy, who cares what people think?

Theres always something a lit le surreal.


Discover your common purpose.
Five signs apart duos are always brought together for a
reason. You have something to learn from each other, or
a special mission on earth. In many cases, youre meant
to be parents together, and your childrens souls have
selected the two of you especially to bring them into the
world. Barack Obama (a Leo) and Michelle Obama (a
Capricorn) are a good example. Hes the warm-hearted
softie while she may be the quiet iron fist in the velvet
glove, but they clearly co-parent (and run the country
together) pretty well.
Thats the advantage of being five signs apart: youre so
different, that you dont step on each others turf. When
two powerful people of this distance come together to
raise kids, start a business, create art, or coexist as relatives, you can bring your differing skillsets to create
something amazing. But bring along your magic decoder ring...just in case.

LESSONS OF THIS RELATIONSHIP:

Karmic repair and lessons


Healing a past life contract with each other
Exploring and expanding your sexuality
Diving into deeper intimacy
Developing your selfless side
Learning to serve or give
How to adjust to someone vastly different
Knowing what it feels like to meet a soulmate

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

15

when youre

6 SIGNS APART

energy: perspective, contrast, balance * astro-terminology: opposite

MEET YOUR MATCH:


Aries: Libra
Taurus: Scorpio
Gemini: Sagittarius
Cancer: Capricorn

Leo: Aquarius
Virgo: Pisces
Libra: Aries
Scorpio: Taurus

Your opposite sign lives directly across the zodiac wheel


from you. However, youve
got more in common than the
name suggests. This sign can
be highly compatible, even
a soul twin. You each have a
distinct role, but youre a tag
team, too. Opposites attract!

For example, you might


both love a vegetarian banquet, but one of you gorges it
down in greedy gulps, while
the other slowly nibbles at a
tofu cutlet, then wraps up the
rest for leftovers.

With an opposite sign, youre


challenged to grow as a person and take responsibility for
your part of the relationship.
Its like taking a big step back to get a clear perspective of your life. We tend to view things from close up,
missing the whole picture by hyper-focusing on a detail or two. With an opposite sign, your life appears in
full relief, like a finished painting. Suddenly, it all makes
sense. This panomarmic view can be a little uncomfortable to take in, but its definitely enlightening.

ESSENTIAL SKILLS FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP


Attract. Repel. Rinse and repeat.

Like two magnets, you can either attract or repel each


other, depending on which side of yourself you show.
There will be days when you feel like kindred spirits and
soul twins, a perfect tag team. You like yoga and juicing?
Omigod, I do, too! Or, Wait, I had no idea anyone else on
earth read that obscure postmodern literary magazine besides me! The next minute, you realize that while you
may like the same foods, hobbies, books, movies and
activities, you approach them in completely polar ways.
16

Sagittarius: Gemini
Capricorn: Cancer
Aquarius: Leo
Pisces: Virgo

Our Taurus friend Kimberly


(name changed to protect the
not-so-innocent) described
her first attempted makeout
session with Josh, a Scorpio.
Both signs can be lusty, but
Taurus is the sign of sensuality, while Scorpio rules raw,
down-and-dirty passion. Kim likes slow, sensual kisses.
Actually, a whole warmup to the first kiss would be even
better: some light touching, a candlelit massage, dinner
followed by a flower delivery, even a demure game of
footsie. Rushing is a total turnoff to Kim, but once shes
in, shes in. She jokes that it take 15 hours to get her into
bed, then 15 hours to get her out. (For Scorpio sexaholic Josh, it took about 15 minutes in both directions.)
So imagine Kims shock after her first coffee date, when
Josh dove at her mouth with his tongue like a guided
missile. Later, he texted her a nearly-naked picture of
himself doing a yoga pose (um, why?) and sent a stream
of dirty-talking emails that would be hot to a Scorpio,
but left her Taurus loins cold. She had to have a whole
uncomfortable conversation to school him on dialing it
down a notch. He did...but in exchange, he asked her
to try a raunchy thing or two as a compromise. It took
about ten rounds of this before they finally got the pro-

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

portions right. Oh, and they


did a weekend couples workshop on intimate communication for good measure.
Kudos to them for toughing
it out that long.

In opposite combos, you


may hear some advice or
observations that hit you
like a splash of ice-cold
water. Mostly, its because
theyre truebut ouch.
Here you thought you
were doing such a good
job hiding those skeletons
from the world. Who
snuck in and gave this person a key to your diary?

Balance is the key.


The tendency of opposites
is to go to extremes. But to
make this relationship work,
youll need to balance out
your glaring differences. An
Aries we know has an onand-off friendship with a
Libra as a result of this combinations polarizing effect.
When its balanced, the go-getter Aries kicks the procrastinating Libra into gear, while the soothing Libra
calms the Aries anxiety. Theyre the ultimate tag team.
But on a bad day, its like an episode of Toddlers in Tiaras,
a showdown between aggressive, diva-style Aries tantrums and prim, white-gloved Libra haughtiness. Ugly!

To deal, you must give


up self-consciousness (no
easy feat) and accept that
youre human, fallible,
and have room for improvement. Be coachable. But also be polite. Ask if the
other one is open to feedback before you point out that
her non-returnable $3,000 red couture gown is actually not that flattering. Check the emotional temperature
before you deliver a scathing critique of your business
partners Powerpoint presentation.

They can see things about you that you cant.

Time after time, they have to go back into their corners


and cool down for a couple days (sometimes weeks).
Then, theres a long conversation to hash out common
ground and make compromises. The Aries promises not
to yell if the Libra agrees to stop showing up two hours
late for everything. They eventually mess up and have
to reestablish these guidelines all over again. With opposite combos, its always a work in progress.

Get comfortable under the microscope.


Since your opposite sign has the advantage of a longdistance view of you, s/he can see things about you that
you cant. While this can be amazingly helpful when
youre receptive to it, its also like living with a life coach
24/7. Some days, you just want them to get out of your
hair and stop analyzing you, even if its well-intended.
Analyze this, punk!

Take over the universe together.


One word: Brangelina. Where would this Sagittarius
(him)-Gemini (her) couple be without Maddox, Zahara, Pax, Shiloh, Knox and Vivienne? Without refugee
camps and orphanages and flood-ravaged cities to rebuild? Probably on separate movie lots, fondly recalling
the good times they had filming Mr. and Mrs. Smithif
they remembered each other at all.

LESSONS OF THIS RELATIONSHIP:


To see yourself from an enlightening birds-eyeview distance
To create a powerful tag team
To join forces and create something bigger than
the two of you
To balance extremes in yourself, like selflessness or
selfishness, too much independence or dependence
To discover a new, inspiring perspective on life
To develop the art of compromise

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

17

COMPATIBILITY CHEAT SHEET


Distance

Energy

The Lesson

Same Sign (Conjunct)

Self-acceptance

To see your qualities mirrored back


Ease
Self-acceptance
Working through sibling rivalry

1 Sign Apart (Inconjunct)

Friction

Deep healing and transformation


To learn from each others differences
To force you out of your comfort zone
Growth through challenge or contrast

2 Signs Apart (Sextile)

Friendship

To be best friends with benefits


How to speak up, listen, and be heard
Romance forming naturally out of friendship
Easy communication in a relationship

3 Signs Apart (Square)

Tension,

Compromise

power struggles

Conflict resolution
Where you can be stubborn and unyielding
Healing old wounds/parent issues

4 Signs Apart (Trine)

To feel at home with yourself and a mate


Harmony, ease

To be understood without explaining yourself


To relax and play together
To have a best friend and partner in one

5 Signs Apart (Quincunx)

Adjustment, karma

Karmic repair
Healing a past life contract
Diving into deeper intimacy
Learning to serve/give
How to adjust to someone vastly different

6 Signs Apart (Opposite)

Compromise, balance

To see yourself as others do


To create something bigger than you both
To balance extremes in yourself
To discover a new perspective on life

18

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

meet your matches

1 SIGN APART (Inconjunct) Friction


Aries: Pisces, Taurus

Taurus: Aries, Gemini

Gemini: Taurus, Cancer

Cancer: Gemini, Leo

Leo: Cancer, Virgo

Virgo: Leo, Libra

Libra: Virgo, Scorpio

Scorpio: Libra, Sag

Sag: Scorpio, Capricorn

Aquarius: Capricorn, Pisces

Capricorn: Sag, Aquarius

Pisces: Aquarius, Aries

2 SIGNS APART (Sextile) Ease


Aries: Sagittarius, Aquarius

Taurus: Pisces, Cancer

Gemini: Aries, Leo

Cancer: Taurus, Virgo

Leo: Gemini, Libra

Virgo: Cancer, Scorpio

Libra: Leo, Sagittarius

Scorpio: Virgo, Capricorn

Sagittarius: Libra, Aquarius

Capricorn: Scorpio, Pisces

Aquarius: Sagittarius, Aries

Pisces: Capricorn, Taurus

3 SIGNS APART (Square) Challenge


Aries: Cancer, Capricorn

Taurus: Aquarius, Leo

Gemini: Pisces, Virgo

Cancer: Aries, Libra

Leo: Taurus, Scorpio

Virgo: Gemini, Sagittarius

Libra: Cancer, Capricorn

Scorpio: Leo, Aquarius

Sagittarius: Virgo, Pisces

Capricorn: Aries, Libra

Aquarius: Scorpio, Taurus

Pisces: Gemini, Sagittarius

4 SIGNS APART (Trine) Harmony


Fire: Aries-Leo-Sagittarius Earth: Taurus-Virgo-Capricorn
Air: Gemini-Libra-Aquarius

Water: Cancer-Scorpio-Pisces

5 SIGNS APART (Quincunx) Adjustment


Aries: Virgo, Scorpio

Taurus: Libra, Sagittarius

Gemini: Scorpio, Capricorn

Cancer: Sag, Aquarius

Leo: Capricorn, Pisces

Virgo: Aquarius, Aries

Libra: Pisces, Taurus

Scorpio: Aries, Gemini

Sagittarius: Taurus, Cancer

6 SIGNS APART (Opposite) Perspective


Aries-Libra Taurus-Scorpio Gemini-Sagittarius
Cancer-Capricorn

Leo-Aquarius

Virgo-Pisces

Copyright 2011 by Ophira & Tali Edut. All rights reserved. www.astrostyle.com

19

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