Common Application Essay

Prompt: When have you challenged a belief or idea? What prompted you to act? Would

you make the same decision again?

Five ounces of soft rubber thwaps against the floor sending a massive vibration through

the ground and air. Vineyard Vines, pastel shorts-clad Boulder teenagers watch the ball leap

from the floor back into my hand and immediately back down towards the floor. Daily an elastic

thud continues down the hall, in and out of classrooms dai.

A sea of teenagers flows by the straggler who chooses not to be pushed around by the

current that runs through the whole high school. The one who chooses to bounce a lacrosse ball

off the floors, windows, and occasionally ceilings wont allow the status quo to control him.

This repeated bouncing makes me feel alive and keeps uncertainty and curiosity flowing

through my veins during a part of the day when it's certain I will be going to my next class. I

may look foolish wearing my stuffed backpack, chasing my ball down the ramps, through the

student center, or out of the library after it takes an unexpected bounce, but do I care? Absolutely

not. While not normal to fling a ball around the halls, its how I express myself. Rather than

letting social norms define me, I follow my personal goals and desires.

A constant curiosity pushes me towards learning and exploring more about what is

already known. Most of the subjects I have been most inspired by, biology, math, physics, and

chemistry focus on what is around us on earth, but my interests pull me towards space and its

great mysteries.

My whole life, I have envisioned myself drifting through the cosmos, taking in the

endless space around me. To get to the final frontier and start to understand just how small our
planet is compared to other celestial bodies is something that I can remember wanting to do since

the first time I learned about our solar system. My dream has developed from trying to become a

suave space conqueror like Han Solo, soaring through asteroid fields fighting off an oppressive

ruler, to trying to become an astronaut researching the relationships in our solar system.

The fuel for my astronaut dreams comes from my belief that some parts of the universe

and world are just too big to comprehend without actually getting to see them first hand. If I am

given an just a quantitative description of a immense place, it is hard for me to visualize and

appreciate the how much larger it is than me. Until I am able to see it with my own eyes, I cannot

truly appreciate the size of the universe or solar system. After taking in the Grand Canyon, flying

into New York City and looking at the skyscrapers, scanning the Flatirons while going to school,

and camping by the Grand Tetons, I am better able to understand the vastness of the world

around me and how much there is to explore and take in. My desire for exploration keeps

inspiring me to try and shoot for the stars, to try and discover the endless supply of possibility

that outer space holds. Any number of intriguing paths, anywhere from biological research to

mathematical analysis, will guide me towards my goal, each benefiting from the fearlessness,

adventure, and difference in approach that is encapsulated by my hallway habit.

I try to corral my feisty friend as it skips against the windows in the Social Studies hall

that provide a magnificent view of the Flatirons. The plain, muddy, smudged lacrosse ball

reminds me everyday to keep being myself, keep walking to the beat of my own drum, keep

discovering, and keep exploring. There isnt reason to keep my ball restrained, so it flys where it

wants drawing copious strange looks from class to class as the ball rebounds off every surface.
So long as I stay focused on my goals, beliefs, and values, I am comfortable being a little out of

the ordinary.

Words: 627

Possible: grown up with parents worrying constantly, going to college wanting to satisfy

curiosity, find my independence, and to live in a way that is uniquely me.

Jakes notes from Brainstorming:

-Walking off the beaten path allows me to explore and find niches, groups, and things that I enjoy like phyte

club, microfinance, and sources of strength.

-I like the sometimes the doing is off the beaten path and that's why I do it idea, could include something about

helping at community food share where most who help there need it for some sort of community service

requirement, and I only do it because it is a service that is demonstrated to be meaningful

-Walking to beat of my own drum causes me to create unique goals (potentially talk about astronaut), as well as

do things others are not as comfortable doing (playing a sport and still attaining academic success)

-Another way I am off beaten path is that I enjoy being in school and learning, I enjoy working with the small

community of people within Fairview who enjoy gaining more knowledge.

***Notes from Trevor:

Thanks for sharing the thoughts with me via email. Its helpful to have some more of your
brainstorming to expand on this topic.

After some thought, Im excited about how this essay is going to shape up for you. It seems
pretty clear that starting with the lacrosse ball, you can make a broader point about who you are
instead of stress. With that in mind, you can use some kernels from the original essay for your
discussion of the lacrosse ball, but you are going to want to stray towards waltzing off the
beaten path instead of stress. To help with that, I highlighted in blue on the original essay the
pieces that are descriptive about the ball and separate from stress to use as inspiration for your
next draft.

With some more thought expanding on the lacrosse ball and off the beaten path, I think it would
wise to save the Jurassic Park/genetics story for your supplements. It will be a PERFECT start to
the Why ___(school)____? essays. Instead, I think having the insight about being an astronaut
will be an impactful and moving story to share with admissions. The way you told me about this
concept of having to experience something to fully understand its scope was an impressive
thought that is pretty uniquely yours. Plus, I see a strong tie between that concept and walking
off the beaten path. More often than not, experience something of immeasurable or simply new
in scope will require the confidence and comfort to walk off the beaten path. Do you agree? If so,
I think a very strong essay is born out of that intersection. They get the comedy of the lacrosse
ball, some of your personal goals, personal philosophy all in one - which is a home run.

In the notes from your email, you want to be careful about stretching the idea too far. For
example, its hard to say community service is walking off the beaten path when so many people
do it. Plus, you dont have space for too many examples. So, it would be great to really heavily
rest on the astronaut and lacrosse ball stories and have any other examples be minor. Does that
make sense?

With all that said, the next step is to get writing, or rather give you what you need to start
writing. Here are the important pieces (as far as what would connect with an admissions rep) I
would encourage you to have in this essay:
- Using the lacrosse ball to exemplify walking to the beat of your own drum (it will be
helpful to find a couple different ways to say that for use throughout the essay
- Drawing the connection to the dream of being an astronaut and deeply explaining your
philosophy about the things in the world that are complex to the point where experiencing
them is the only way to understand them
- Bridging the astronaut and lacrosse ball by explaining how being comfortable and
creating a habit of walking off the beaten path is necessary in comfortable confronting the
complex by experiencing. Experiencing those things will always be different or not
normal.
- Other examples of approaching the complex through experience can be welcome if you
have them.
- Continuity to the future is a strong aspect of a college essay. If you can wrap up in a way
that nods to how this will continue would be a nice addition.

Those are not in any particular order, so please take some time to think and plan how they flow
most naturally to you and use that to write the first draft! You are welcome to go over 650 words
and ask for help cutting back.