H TALESXALCUIATED TO, DRIVE YOU

8P1

sam*
Nolo
APRIL
12/

A
'

~>MX 'i

//
...Another drink and with chalk in
hand, the vagabond began.
To sketch a face that well might
buy the soul of any man.
Then, as he placed another lock
upon the shapely head.
With fearflil shriek, he lea.ped and
fell across the picture-dead.
^^^^^^TK -FROM
THE FACE UPON THE FLOOR

you roo CM LEAP

ANP FALL ACROSS THIS
COMIC BOOK PEAP WHEN
you 5EE THE FACE UPON
THE FLOOR 'N THIS ISSUE
^LF MAP/
WAR COMICS DEPT.: THE TRUCE HAS BEEN SIGNED IN KOREA! FOR SOME TIME, WE HAVE BEEN ITCHING TO SINK OUR
TEETH INTO ONE TYPE OF LITERATURE BORN OF THE WAR/...WE THINK THE TIME HAS COME.'ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THIS
STORY AND REAL WAR IS TOTALLY ACCIDENTAL/... IT IS WITH THE SINCEREST RESPECT THAT WE DEDICATE THIS LAMPOON
TO YOU REAL SOLDIERS WHO HAVE HAD TO PUT UP WITH THE GIAMORJZEP WAR COMICS LIKE ...

...WHAT A RIOT THEY ARE.' THEY'RE O. K., BABY/... YOU'RE ALL MINE ! ...HEY, JOE!
THE FASTEST OF FRIENDS... INSEPAR- ... YOU GOT
ABLE COMPANIONS... AND YET OH G.I. SHMOE... 6 A L U 5 H A CHEWING
THEY STILL ALWAYS HAVE THESE IGGY SHMOE / YOU HAV GUM''
SILLY LITTLE GRUDGE. FIGHTS' FOUGHT FOR. M E AND WON.'
OH M Y / MY LOVE FOR YOU CAN
ONLY B E EXPRESSED
IN THESE FEW
WORDS WHICH ^
ARE... prgj

mm

r:;$ M
6. J. SHMOE/G.I. SHMOE/ LISTEN/CANNON-FIRE
UP FRONT'... SOUNDS OF BATTLE/... AND YOU KNOW
THAT WHENEVER WE HEAR SOUNDS OF BATTLE,
WE DROP EVERYTHING ANP RUN TO THE
SOUNDS OF THE BATTLE

LOOK! IT'S AN ENEMY ... IT'S NOT A S B A P A S I

PIVISION ALL A R M E P WITH GUESSEP/... TELL YOU
MACHINE GUNS ATTACKING WHAT.'... YOU TAKE ' E M
IN A BANZAI CHARGE / . . I ON ALONE.'...I'LL COME
THOUGHT YOU SAIP THIS ALONG TO HOLP
WAS A SERIOUS YOUR COAT/
ATTACK"/ ,i>.
&.-
^m^i$M
CSS ^y,.
^
^
$ SI
mm'

G . I . SHMOE/EVERY ...A W W W / ...yOU SEE, THIS YOU'RE RIGHT/... ... WHEN X BASH 'EM
TIME X SEE yOU, ALL I PO IS MACHINE GUN I CAN REAPILY WITH THE TOMMY-
YOU FIGHT WITH BASH 'EM HAS THE QUICK- SEE H O W GUN BUTT/
THE CLUBBEP WITH THE LOADING FEATURE THAT AUTOMATIC
f?IFLE/ PON'T YOU RtflE- OF THIS BLOWBACK
THINK IT WOULP BUTT/ AUTOMATIC FEEP-ACTION - ^
BE MORE ADVAN- SLOWBACK CLIP WOULP
TAGEOUS TO USE FEEP ACTION PERNITELY HELR..
RRE POWER OF CLIP...
THIS MACHINE-GUN 2
IP. m

t
m
YxL
\Kjgrt&
tM
l&r,
 y
WE'VE PE5TROYEP ...<SAW-HEAP/
THE ENEMY POWN TO HUTIM WITTA
THE LAST MAN... ANP 6UN-&UTT
NOW WE PESTROY
THE LAST MAN

O.K., BABY! YOU'RE ALL MINE.' I 1
GAVE YOU A CHANCE TO HITME
WITTA GUN-BUTT... BUT NATURALLY,
YOU HAVE IMMEDIATELY FALLEN
/N LOVE WITH M E SINCE I A M
B\& HERO O F THIS S T O R Y /
YOU WANT TO SPEAK/...NO ...Hey, JOB!
POUBT YOU WANT TO SAY YOU
ARE TIREP OF ENEMY WAY O F ... you GOT
LIFE... YOU WANT TO WEAR LIP- CHEWING-
STICK... YOU WANT TO SHOP IN
GUM f.
THE A+Pl... YOU WANT TO
THROW POP- BOTTLES AT THE
UMPIRES/... GO AHEAP, BABY.'.
WHAT IS IT YOU WISH T O
TELL MEZ-
 OH BABY... THE WAY YOU A S K FOR CHEWING GUM...
I GET A PRICKLING SENSATION UP AND DOWN
MY S P I N E /
GOOP WORK, COMRADE / BY CAUSING THEM TO FIGHT
EACH OTHER,6.1.SHMOe HAS FIVE BULLETS IN H I S
SPINE ANP FOUR BULLETS THROUGH HIS HEART.' SGT.
SQUIRT HAS SEVEN BULLETS IN HIS HEAP ANP A
BAYONET THROUGH THE GUT' I THINK THEY A R E
SUFFICIENTLY WEAKENEP FOR CAPTURE/

HERE, O' COMRADE COMMANDER, A R E THE

AMERIKANNER SHVEINHUNT WHO HAVE BEEN CAUSING
S O MUCH TROUBLE/... WE FINALLY CAPTUREPTHEM
BY PROVOKING THEM T O FIGHT OVER A WOMAN ' -

ANP NOW WE TORTURE YOU FOR A H / BUT WE HAVE MORE EXQUISITE

INFORMATION/ WE SHALL THRUST TORTURES THAN THIS/... WE W/LL
SHARP BURNING B A M B O O PUT you ON PERMANENT
SLIVERS UNPER YOUR FINGER. ff.p. / NOW WILL you TELL
NAILS/ WILL YOU TELL ME WHAT " 'ME WHAT I WANT TO KNOWfJ
I WANT TO KNOW J
MO.
MO!

*N>
 VERY WELL, AMERICANS.' LOOK, G . I . S H M O E / A ...BUT I . . . THE OTHER
IF YOU WILL NOT TELL NICE QUIET CELL/ WELL.. AGENT OF THE UNITEP
US SECRETS, THEN ROT AT LEAST WE'LL HAVE NATIONS... A M A
IN A CELL WITH THIS PEACE AND QUIET WITH- WOtAAN!
OTHER AGENT OF THE OUT ANY WOMEN AROUNP
UNITEP NATIONS/ TO FIGHT O V E R /

O.K., BABY/ ) SH/...QUIET/... LISTEN T O M E / THERE BUT HRST... IF WE A R E OVERHEARP... WE

YOU'RE ALL J 15 NOT MUCH T I M E / 1 HAVE INFORMA-
MINE... -T TION THAT I MUST (SET OUT OF H E R E /
ONE OF US MAY STILL ESCAPE A N P SO
YOU MUST LISTEN CAREFULLY TO WHAT
x \ \ I HAVE TO SAY TO Y O U /
ARE LOST/... NOTHING...NOBOPY M U S T
HEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU! IF
NECESSARY... WE MUST TAKE PRASTIC
STEPS TO PESTROY ANYBODY WHO MIGHT
OVERHEAR WHAT X HAVE. T O S A Y T O YOU /

Ffe Vc< m'

f^r? m t<?>i M
m
.'..^

&
r> v

... WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU EVERY LIVING ANIMAL THING WE

IS SO IMPORTANT... WE MUST PE- MUST PESTROY THAT AMGHT
STROY ANY LIVING- THING THAT WITNESS WHAT L HAVE TO
MIGHT OVERHEAR WHAT I HAVE SAY TO YOU! m
T O SAY TO YOU .' ANP
WHAT I HAVE
6 . I . S H M O E / 6 . I . S H M O E . 1 YOU A R E KILLING A N
ENEMY WITH A C A N N O N / X THOUGHT YOU
ONLY USEP yOUR FISTS/ I THOUGHT YOU
ONLY USEP YOUR. 6UN-&UTT/
WELL...
UNPER. EXTEWU-
f ATING QRCU/V\STACE5.J
# V I ' M NOT P R O U P '
 ...ITS AN ENEMY AD-
VANCE... A HUGE
BANZAI CHARGE
RUNNING TOWARDS
US AND THE WHOLE
UNITED NATIONS ARMY.

6 . 1 . SH/MOE/ YOU AND SGT. SQUIRT
HAVE SINGLE HANPEPLY TAKEN OVER
THE ENEMY ARMY/ I'LL SEE YOU
BOTH GET A WEEK-END PASS FOR
THIS.'... ANP NOW IF yOU WILL LEAVE
THE ROOM AN7 ALLOW ME TO
QUESTION THE ENEMY COMMANDER...
NO.'I QUESTION ) ONE MOAAENT ... FOR IF YOU LOOK OUT THE WINDOW,
THE COM- -<"PLEASE.'lT IS YOU WILL SEE THAT MY ARMY
MAN0ER I \ * o r F O R yoUSE HAS TAKEN OVER, YOUR ARMY,
/~~\TO QUESTION BY SUBVERSION... you SEE ..
AIM ) MFt \ OW.'JME.' VOU MY WHOLE ARMY OF MEN IS
ACTUALLY AN ARMY OF...
PRISONERS

&Q

HA HA 6 . 1 . SHMOE... SGT. SQUIRT.' YOU THOUGHT YOU

HAP ME ANP MY ARMY PRISONER... ANP NOW
yOU BOTH FINP YOU ARE MY PRISONER/.... TELL
M E . . . A S YOU STANP GAPING FOOLISHLY A T O N E
ANOTHER, HERE ALONE. WITH M E . . . WHAT IS
YOUR REACTION ?
(5.1. SHMOE ANP SGT. SQUIRT... YOU HAVE SAVEP THE .. Hey JOB/
U.N.ARMY FROM TOTAL PE5TKUCTION ANP SAVEPTHE . you GOT
WHOLE WCRLPJI. AS GENERAL OF THE WACS FEEL CHEWING-
IT 15 IMPORTANT TO MAKE A STATEMENT IN REGARPS GU/AT
TO yOUR QUICK THINKING- IN CALLING THE WACS, YOUR.
SRAVERy ANP YOUR UNSWERVING LOYALTy TO WHAT
YOU THOUGHT WOULP M A K E YOU THE MOST
MONEY... A N P THAT STATEMENT IS
WESTERN DEFT.:... WESTERN HOLLYWOOD, THAT IS/...TENSION WAS RISING ON THE PLAINS/SQUATTERS...FARMERS.
WERE MOVING OHTO THE UNFENCEP CATTLE RANGES... PUTTING UP FENCES...PUTTING UP BARNS... PUTTING UP
HOWARP JOHNSON RESTAURANTS.'INTO THIS FURSHLUGGINER MESS RODE A STRANGER WITH THE CRAZy NAME OF...

... STRANGER HALT.., ONE, TWO.' HOI' OH,

...STRANGER/ THAR'S SOMETHIti ' MIGHTY BWAH/
STRANGE 'BOUT THE WAY YOU RIPE/ ...REASON I
... CAN'T EXACTLY PUT MUH FINGER ON RIPES THIS
IT, BUT THAR'S SOtKElW MIGHTY WAY IS SO'S
STRANGE/ YOU'RE PROBABLY NOBOPY <TAN
WORKING FOR THE CATTLEMEN GUN ME IN
SO GIT OFFEN MY FARM ' THE BACK...
LISTEN, MISTUH/ I PIPN' COME ...HOL'ONf
LOOKIN' FER TROUBLE...I MERELY HOL' ON.'
COME LOOKIN ' FER A REST ROOM / HOL' O N ,
STRANGER.'
... NOW, PON'T SET MAC, LOOK/ LOOK
STRANGER/... SAY/... 1 COULP AT MY FINE
USE A HIRE!? HANP ROUNP- W/FE/... WILL
ABOUTS HYAR/ LOOK AT yuH STAY.2.
MY FINE HOLSTIEN COW!
WILL YUH STAY?

... W W DIDN'T VUM TELL ME MOW... v MISTUH/... WHEN I SEES A

YOU HAD ONE O' THESE IN THE THINS O F BEAUTY... I JUST SETS
FIRST PLACE/... LOOK AT THE WAY HOC ON. ALL MUSHY INSIPE/ THAR'S
SHE STAHDS... TAU AN' PROUD... STRANGER! NUTHIN' A S BEAUTIFUL A S A
SOFT BROWN EYES...DELICATE ... HAIN'T YOU 6 C O P LOOKIN HORSE*
NOSTRILS, FLARED AND A-CARRyiN'THIS
QUIVERING/ MAN.' LOOKIT THINS A MITE
THEM LINES/... LOO/r/r THEM
CURVES/... I'VE JUST GOT TA
GO OVER AND STROKE HER/

OH-BOY, SANE! YOU'RE STAYIN' O N , NAOW,

HUH, SANE? W ) L L you TEACH M E HOW JOEY BOY..
TO SHOOT, S A N E ? WILL YOU TEACH YOU RUN
ME HOW TO SUN M Y R.AYMATES, ALONS
SANE? WHATS YOUR SUN FOR, NAOW...
SANE? yOU CAN SHOOT, CANTCHA,
SANE? YOU'RE A GUN-FIGHTER,
AiNTCHA, SANE? THAI'S A SPECIAL
QUICK-PRAW SUN-FISHTER S U N , A N P
YOU CAN BEAT ANYONE TO THE
PRAW, HUH, S A N E ?
 UGH? ] U6Hf... THE UHS6!.. t/GHHf \ UQ!
.. THAT ^ \ FARMERS AS LONG ... WE J...YEAH!
FELLER \ HAVE US 'AS THAT GOTTA \ . . . WE
SURE KNEW J WHERE FELLER MtU (GOTTA
HOW TO J THEY WANT LIVES, WE } THAT \ KtLL
HANPLE \US A S LONG CAN'T 'FELLER', J THAT
HIS j AS THAT MAKE JOEY
FISTS.' /FELLER. IS 'ANY MORE. BOY/
ALIVE / MISCHIEF/

. . . WHY S O y S . . . T H I S FELLER CAN . . . W E ' V E GOTTA S H O W T H E M

BEAT ANYONE T O THE DRAW.' IT
WAS IN A B I L E N E IN A FURNITURE
S T O R E / . . . THERE S T O O P T H I S
B E A U R A U / THEY HAP A RACE J
THIS FELLER. BEAT EVERY&OPY
TO THE D R A W . . . THE BEAURAU
P R A W THAT
FARMERS T H A T U S C A T T L E M E N
M E A N BUSINESS/ ONE O F
T H E M F A R M E R S I S OUT THERE
ON THE S T R E E T A M O N G S T T H E
PEOPLE i HE'S A S O U T H E R N E R .
A N D X WANT YOU TO GUN Hl/V\,
W I L S O N . . . THAT'S A L L I

...GAWHEAP.' . . . P O Y O U R E A L I Z E IT
INSULT H I M IS GRAMMATICALLY
START A FIGHT INCORRECT T O U S E
A N P GUN H I M , THE T E R M 'YOU-ALL'
WILSON... IN PLACE OF THE
THAT'S A L L / TERM, ' Y O U ' W H E N
A P P R E S S I N G A SINGLE
PERSON A S YOU
SOUTHERNERS S O
OFTEN DO?
 HOLY SMOKE! \ I'LL BE \ OOH
HE PREW ANP PANGEP/ I'M
HOLSTEREP HE SHOT DYING.'
HI'S GUN SO /SO FAST / H E HAS
FAST... THE <THAT THE J A SUPER-
NAKEP EYE / SOUNP / SONIC
WAS \ CAME \ORAW. THAT
UNABLE TO ] AFTER \ WILSON...
FOLLOW/ / THE THAT'S
J MOTION ! A ALL/ y -

/ m_^^ ^5 WS^ 5 5 9 !
^s~ ^y^ii^ f >JA ' ; ^ B k ^4*^ - n - ^ v |

M^K
WAAL... .. NO.'
rofii
SOMEBODY'S THIS IS
GOTTA 'MY TYPE
WORP HAS JUST PASSEP SETTLE ^OF FIGHT.'
FROM MOUTH TO MOUTH/... THINGS IN ...GUESS
THE NEWS HAS TRAVELLEP IN TOWN. I'LL
LIKE A PRAIRIE FIRE OVER GUESS GO!
THE SETTLERS'GRAPEVINE/... I'LL GO.
SESIPES, I JUST HEARP IT
ON A RAPIO NEWS BROAD-
CAST THE CATTLEMEN
HAVE GUNNEP A FARMER/

i'

J3KL
UGH.'OOH-' \ ^ ^ U / I KNOW YOU CAN BEAT
... I JUST HIT ANYONE TO THE PRAW..
MY HEAP HUH, SANE?... WE HAVE
AGAINST A UTMOST CONFIPENCE
ROCK A N P /N YOU, THAT YOU
I'M KNOCKED WILL FIGHT A N P YOU
UNCONSCIOUS ! WILL WIN A N P YOU
WILL BE VICTORIOUS
you ANP BE THE WINNER
OF ALL, ANP ANYHOW,
GO/ WE WILL PROVIPE
YOU WITH A CLASS
'A' FUNERAL/
;.^*vNld
'^/i\^
w
JifA
7/1/,

^22
 SANE'S COMIN' INTO NAH/... AS LONG A S 1
A
TOWN, WILSON... THAT'S CAN GET /VW GUNS
A L L / YOU WON'T HAVE OILED P R O P E R / . . .
ANY TROUBLE WITH WHERE'S MY O I L CAN?
HIM, WILL YUH? ... HOW'D IT GET OVER
THERE?
HO, BOY/... THE TENSION IS MOUNTING ' T
... NOW
. . . I CAN TELL SANE IS COMING CLOSER HERE
By THE SOUND O F THE BACKGROUND COMES
M U S I C / . . . THE QUESTION IS, CAN ( SANE'
S A N E BE BEATEN TO THE DRAW
By WILSON... THAT'S A L L 7

AND NOW, THE TWO GUN-FIGHTERS ARE FACE TO

FACE, POISED DELICATELY LIKE COBRAS... ,4 p&ATH
LIKE SILENCE IN THE ROOM... SLOWLy, THE SPOKEN
RITUAL BEFORE THE 'DRAW' BEGINS AND A
1
HORRIBLE INSULT SLITHERS
PAST SANE'S LIPS...
"yER X . . . A N P )PKOVE
MOTHER ./WILSON \ T 7
WEARS ^ANSWERS..,
G.I. SHOES/

...SANE IS NOT DRAWING GUN

IN PRESCRIBED OFFICIAL GUN"
F/6NTERS MANNER/... SANE'S
FINGERT/PS ARE THREE -
QUARTERS OP tNCH FROM .
GUN-BUTT... OFF/C/Al RU/ES
SA/ FINGERTIPS CAN BE NO
ClOSER THAN ONE AND ONE
EIGHTH INCHES/
 / ...THAR HE GOES.. ...ANP WELL .THAT IS WHy I MUST GO RIPlNS-
A-RIPIN'OFF INTO MIGHT 3 E INTO THE SUNSET/... I CANNOT
THE SUNSET/...LOOK/ &UUSP TO PESTROy THE PELKSHTFUL. ILLUSIONS
HE MUST'VE BEEN HIT THE SAPPLE OF A LITTLE STARRy-EyEP S O y . . .
IN THE <5UNPLAY... THE WITH MY ESPECIALLY W 4 7 LITTLE PEST/ J
=FT ARM'S ARM CLUEP CANNOT LET H/M KNOW THAT THE
HAN6/N6 AS IFFEN TO MY REASON I WAS FASTEST ON THE
SIPE/ PRAW WAS THAT I SECRETLy PUT
<SLUE IN THE OIL-CAN THAT WAS
USEP TO OIL THE SUN OF
WILSON ... THAT'S ALL/...GOL-PURNEP
BLUE'S L.EAKEP ON VRY7H/NG'
 POETRY DEPT.: THERE IS A FAMOUS POEM WHOSE NAME IS USED NO MORE/... YOU'VE HEARD OF IT B Y
TITLE IT REALLY NEVER WORE C... AND IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD- WELL,KID,YOU JUST DON'T KNOW THE
SCORE.').-AS TIME HAS PASSED.THE NEWER NAME HAS SUBSTITUTED FOR...W FACE UPON THE BARROOM FLOOR FOR,.

v,
Where did \t come from T"someone said: "The wind "Here,Tobyt seek kiwi, tP your stomach's equal
has blown it m." t o the work
"What docs i t want?" another cried. "Sowe whisky, 1 wou/dnt touch hicri with a fork, he's -filthy as a
rum o r gin ?'i
 This badinage the poor wretch took with stoical "Come, hoys, I know there's kindly hearts among so
good grace; good a crowd
In fact, he smiled as though he thought he'd struck To be in such good company would make a deacon
the proper place. ,o, ^^ proud

'Give me a drink-that's what I wantI'm out of "What7. )bu laugh as though you thought this
Funds, you know-, pocket never held a sou;
When I had cash to treat the gang, this hand lonce was -Fixed as well, my boys, as anyone of
was never slow. you.

"There, thanks; that's braced me nicely-, God bless you 'Give you a song? Ho, I can't do that, my singing
one and all; days are past}
Uexb time I pass this good saloon, I'll make My voice is cracked, my throat's worn out, and my
another call. * ^ _ lungs are going fast.
li y
Say!Give me another whisky,, and I'll tell That I was ever a decent mav\ not one oPyou
mat I'll do t would think;
I'll tell you a-fUmy story, and a Pact, I promise But I was, some -(bur or -Five years back. Say, give
too. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^__^_ me another drink.

1
Fill her up, Joe, I want to put some life Into my "Fivefingers- there, that's the scheme- and
frame corking whisky too.
Such little drinks, to a bum like me, are miserably - Well, here's luck, boys; and, landlord, my best
tame; t <* . ^$Wj_^_i? -NN*---T regards to you.

"You've treated me pretty kindly and I'd like to uAs I told you, once J. was a wan, with muscle,
tell you how Frame and health,
I came t o be the dirfcy sot you see be-Fore you And, but -for a blunder, ought t o have made
now. fo>t>v ^ _<-wv considerable wealth
"I was a painter- not one that daubed on bricks VI worked hard, at my canvas and was bidding
and wood fair to rise,
But an artist, and, for my age, was rated For gradually I saw the star o -Fame
pretty good^_ ^ ^ ^ ^ . -r- -&. before my eyes.

I wade a picture, perhaps you've seen, tis called "And then I wet a woman now comes t h e
the'Chase o-F Fame; . , -punny p a r t * * * Q?
It brought me fifteen nundred pounds and /' With eyes that petrified my bram and sunk
_added t o my name. <* L ^ W '^a , into my heart.

Why don't you laugu T 'Ti's -Funny thai the vagabond But 'twas so, and -for a month or two, her
r \A you 5ee smiles were Freely given,
could ever love a woman and expect ner love And when her loving lips touched mine it
tor me} ,.* to
~-,.;.A me
carried +~ u~~.,~.~
heaven
"Pi'd ever you see a woman for whom your soul With eyes that would beat the Koh-i-noor, and
you'd give a wealth of chestnut hairf
With a form% like AAilo Venus, too beautiful to It so, 'twas she, -for there never was another
da 14? so-feit

vl
"I was working on a portrait, one afternoon And Madeline admired it, and much to my
in May, surprise,
Of a -Pair- haired boy, a friend of mine, who Said that she'd like to know the mav\ that
lived across the way, had such dreamy eyes.

"It didn't take long to know him, and before And, ere a year of misery had passed above
the month had flown; wy head,
My friend had stolen my darling, and I The jewel I had treasured so had tarnished,
was left alone j and was dead.
"That's why I took t o drink, hoys. Why 1 never Why, what's the matter, friend? There's a teardrop
saw you smi/e, in your eye,
I thought you'd be amused, and laughing all Come, laugh like me-, 'tis only babes and women
the while. . _ ^ that should cry

"Say, boys, if ypu^sSZme^y^t another wnisky, Give me that piece of chalk with which yon
be glad, mark the baseball score
And I'llrffaw right here a picture of the face You shall see the lovely Madeline upon the
that drove me mac barroom floor."

Another drink, and with the chalk in hand, the Then, as he placed another lock upon t h e
vagabond began t % shapely head,
To sketch a face that well might buy the soul With fearful shriek, he .leaped and fell
of any man. ^ across the picture dead.
 HEROINE WORSHIP DEPT.i THIS STORY IS THE USUAL SUPER TYPE STORY/... MAIN CHARACTER HAS SUPERHUMAN POWERS...
RUNS AROUNP IN VERY TIGHT-FITTING TIGHTS/... SAME OLP STUFF- YOU SAY? PULL, YOU S A Y ? . . . PON'T GO 'WAY,
BOYS, CAUSE THIS CHARACTER IN TIGHT-FITTING TIGHTS I S A WOMAN/ ANP WE CALL HER T H E . . .

P/ANA BANANA, WHO IS IN REALITY THE WO- AH, PFARE5T/ WHEN YOU J GIVE OOH, PEAREST/ WHEN YOU ] G/VE
MAN WONPER", ANP STEVE APOR6, BOTH U.S. CRUSH ME IN YOUR ir^ ME CRUSH ME S O HARP IN / ME
ARMY OFFICERS, SIT IN THE MOONLIGHT... STRONG ARMS, I...T... ) ANOTHER YOUR STRONG, SINEWY, /ANOTHER
I . . . MELT/ .^fer KISS/ HAIRY, MUSCULAR
ARMS... I . . . I . . . Z . . .
I... BREAK/
OWCH, PEAREST/...HOW YOU PIP GIVE ME LOOK... MY PEANUT BRITTLE, HERE IH THE POCKET
17/ YOU CRUSHEP ME SO HARD IN ANOTHER. OH THE SIPE OF MY CHEST, BROKE' WE'RE ALL
YOUR STRONG MUSCULAR ARMS KISS ! OUT OF KISSES.'... ONLY PEANUT BRITTLE I GOT (N
THA T SOMETHING BROKE/... HERE... AAY POCKET/... OH WAIT/ HERE'S A POST-CARD FOR
IN THE SIPE OF MY CHEST... SOME- YOU IN MY POCKET THAT I PICKED UP IN THE
SOMETHMG B-3-SRQKE. MAIL R O O M , S W E E T H E A R T /
SWEETHEART/

LOVERS
LANE

MERCIFUL MINERVA, ...ONLY ONE WAY TO t

IT'5 FROM H/VLEMf FIND OUT.' I MUST
HOPPING HERA, A QUlCKLy CHANGE INTO
POST-CARP FROM M y WOMAN WONDER
M/VLEMf ZUFFERIN' COSTUME AND GO TO
ZEUS FROM THE KO-NEE ISLAND'
GREAT NtVLEM?

OH THAT STEVE ADORE IS A PASCAL1. CAN'T A PERSON

... NOW/ WHERE SHALL I CHANGE CHANGE INTO <^SVPERDUPER-
INTO MY WOMAN WONPER COSTUME' COSTUME IN A N MAN'S IN
H A H / HERE'S A CONVENIENT CONVENIENT PHONE J THAT PHONE
- PHONE BOOTH! BOQTH WITHOUT \ BOOTH...
BEING INTERRUPTED? ) I BETTER
FIND
HA, STEVE/ THERE YOU ARE.'... I FINALLY CHANGEP INTO
MY WOMAN WONPER. COSTUME/... I SURE HAP A
HASP TIME FINPING A PRIVATE PLACE TO CHANGE/...
I FINALLY FOUNP A PRIVATE PLACE TO CHANGE/ I
FINALLY CHANGE? INSIPE MY PRIVATE ROBOT
PLANE INTO MY WOMAN WONPER COSTUME J

l ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ y . ^ 0 ^

PULL THE HATCH SHUT... PULL THE

WINDOWS UPANP FULL. THE EYE-
BALLS IN/ THIS ROBOT PLANE OPER-
ATES BY THOUGHT CONTROL ANP I ' M
ABOUT TO THINK!... I'M ABOUT TO
THINK.1...
HMM.' CAN'T THINK
P^A r OF ANYTHING- T O

S3NVJJ
-loaoa c a n o a i J19V3HJ33MS
-NOP iHS>nOHl &30NOM
[> 333H 3S3HX NVWOM
d O 3>VlNVAd\/ NSddOHOM
-S(d3HlS,lVRI"" i&30NOM
/3AVH T 3H?tfdV3H NVWOM
iH30NOM
3 i i i n v isnr NVWOM
7 /,NIHlON 5 , 1 1 -

HA!... NOW FINALLY M Y STEVE ! STEVE/ WHAT

CRA2Y /MIXEP-UP M I N P 1 5 ARE YOU POING BACK
STRAIGHTENED OUT A N P WE THERE ON THE
ARE FLYING GOOP! INSIPE O F THE
ROBOT- PLANE
LOOKING OUT? >
OH THAT RASCALLY STEVE ADORE/1 ...I TURN V . . I LET Y...
If... I iOPEN /...SEEMS v
OPENY... NOW I ...jSHOULDN'T
TELL HIM TO COME BACK IN I...DOES OFF THE 7 POWN THE TO ME XEMEMBERf SLAM THE
HE LISTEN? NO.' HE KEEPS ON 6OIN6.. GLASS THE GLASS I FOR-
STRAIGHT DOWN/... JUST LET WE GET SWITCH... j GLASS SAFETY GOT
MY MUSCULAR ARMS ON HIM A. .THIS BELT... SOME-
MUST BE KO-NEE ISLANP.'

BY NEPTUNE'S WHAT MONSTROUS ...YOU ARE GOING ...YOU ARE GOING I

TRIDENT AND PLOT ARE YOU UP TO? TO SINK THE WHOLE TO PULL THE WHOLE
BY JUPITER'S ...YOU ARE GOING TO AMERICAN CONTINENT EARTH OFF ITS ORBIT
JURE/... YOU BLOW UP THE U . S . A . UNPER, THE ANP SENP IT SPINNING
ARE M/VLEM, WITH A HYPROGEN BOMB* OCEAN * INTO THE SUN f
NO DOUBTS

f
HON ARE \*
YOU
FIXED
FOR
BLADES?,
WE GOT A MUCH ...BUT fOU, WOMAN BY HERA.' BY HIM A J LUCKILY 1 HAVE
WORSTER SCHEME/ WONDER, ARE THE MY SPECIAL BRACELETS MADE O F
WE'RE GONNA ONLY BARRIER IN THE HARDEST SUBSTANCE KNOWN
SWIPE COKE THE WAY OF O U R WITH WHICH I OUICKLY CATCH A N P
BOTTLES AND PLANS/... S O I BOUNCE AWAY THE B U L L E T S /
SELL 'EM FOR BROUGHT YOU HERE I
DEPOSIT/

LOOK/... GRANTED THESE M ... GRANTED ALL THIS, I M A I N - '...ANP^

BRACELETS ARE MADE OF TAIN IT IS BOTH PHYSICALLY I QUIT
SOME FANTASTICALLY H A R P AND MATHEMATICALLY /M~ THIS
SUBSTANCE/ GRANTED THAT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO WITHSTAND STORY
YOU MIGHT EVEN BE ABLE THE IMPACT OF POINT-BLANK UNTIL IT
TO CATCH BULLETS. BULLETS WITHOUT GETTING MAKES
CHEAVEN KNOWS H O W ) / KNOCKED OVER OR SHATTERING MORE
YOUR WRISTS/ SENSE-'

NIVLEM/ YOU ARE WOMAN WONDER/ I

RIGHT/ REASON WINS BOW TO YOU.' J GIVE
OVER A L L / . . . I THROW YOU MY PLEDGE THAT
AWAY THESE RIPIOJ- IN RETURN FOR YOUR
LOUS BRACELETS/ GENTLEMANLY CONPUCT
I SHALL NOT HURT YOU!
... I SHALL NOT HARM. A
SJj5^ HAIR ON YOUR:
BY NEPTUNE'S WATER-WINGS/ THEY'VE GOT ME TIEP
HANP A N P FOOT/ THERE'S O N L Y O N E THING- LEFT FOR
ME TO C O / . . . BY QUIETLY VIBRATING MY MUSCLES
I CAN SET UF PLENTY POWERFUL VIBRATIONS.'

BUT BY N E P T U N E S S U N - T A N HAHAHA/ you POOR FOOL/ I T i s W O M A N WON P E R / I S T O L E YOUR

LOT/ON, I STILL H A V E MY LASSOO U S E L E S S T O T R Y ANC? STRUGGLE POWERFUL M Y S T I C P L A T I N I U M
L E F T . . . M Y POWERFUL MYSTIC T O B R E A K T H R O U G H MY POWER- LASSOO A L O N G T I M E AGO ANP
PLAT/NIUM LASSOO THAT M A K E S FUL MYSTIC PLATINIUM LASSOO ! H O C K E P IT FOR PLENTY CASH
ANyeopy WHO I S L A S S O O E P , NOTHING CAN BREAK THROUGH TO BUY THIS CAVE SET-UP.'
P A R A L Y Z E C . . . PROVIPEP I ALSO MY LASSOO UNLESS 1 SO THIS LASSOO
PO VIBRATIONS WHILE LASSOING.' REALISTIC PLASTIC
1 SUBSTI
V
M%i

Vv-
BY NEPTUNE'S BEACH LITTER BASKETS... M Y WAIT/ WHAT A M I DOING? 1
SPECIAL BRACELETS ARE CONE/... A\Y MYSTIC FORGOT... WHEN I SLAMMEP
LASSOO IS GONE/... ANP I ' M TOO WEAK TO THE GLASS DOOR...
VIBRATE/... WAIT/ I'VE STILL GOT MY
THOUGHT CONTROL TO CALL MY
ROBOT- PLANE.

FOR YEARS I NAVE WATCHED YOU BEAT ME STEVE APOKE, WHO IS IN (?EALITX NIVLEM... ANP P/ANA
AT SWIMMING...KNOCK ME DOWN AT BOX/NG... BANANA..ARE NOW AAARRIEP.' P/ANA 5ANANA IS NOW CONTENT
LAP ME AT ROLLER DERBY RACING AND WITH THE NORMAL FEMALE LIFE OF WORKING OVER A HOT STOVE/
PIN ME IN THUMB- WRESTLING/ NOW* I
GET EVEN/... HOW, J SEND YOU BACK J
IN THE KITCHEN WHERE YOU
BELONG, SWEETHEART'

ANP STEVE CAN EVEN KNOCK HER. COWN IN 8 O X I N 6 /