THE WANGS

S4E10

"I.R.L."

Harry Jonathan Chong

3/19/2017

When a monstrous black sludge begins engulfing the world, the

Wangs enter a parallel universe, and experience a dose of reality.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL #90456 - DAY

HIGH SCHOOL HIGH!

INT. HIGH SCHOOL #90456, ENGLISH CLASS - DAY

Harry is at the front of the classroom, reading a story off a

sheet of lined paper.

MR LIMEY is behind his desk, watching with scrutiny.

HARRY
And so, Barnaby was not really what
he thought, and when he fell off
the cliff, he opened his eyes, and
woke up. It was all just a dream.
The end.

Harry looks at Mr Limey. Mr Limey cups his mouth.

MR LIMEY
BOOOOOOOOOO! What the bollocks was
that?!? Dont ever end stories
with: It was all just a dream.
Only morons do that!

HARRY
Please, Mr Limey. I tried my best.

Emily we see is here for some reason. She shouts out.

EMILY
No, you didnt! You wrote that
story in the morning, while you
were taking a dump in the bathroom!

MR LIMEY
(pointing)
Harry, you disappoint me.

Harry frowns.

EXT. SHRUB STREET - DAY

Emily, and Harry, wearing their school backpacks, are walking

home.

EMILY
Hey, have you ever heard of a thing
called Drop Bears?
 2.

HARRY
No.

EMILY
Its these bears that drop down
from trees, and they cling onto
your face, and eat you alive.

HARRY
Thats not real, is it?

EMILY
Maybe. Maybe not.

As Harry, and Emily continue walking all of a sudden a small

ORANGE BEAR with a red heart on its chest drops down from a
tree, and lands on its hands, and knees.

Harry, and Emily jump back in fright.

HARRY
Oh, God! A drop bear!

The Orange Bear gets up to his feet. Hes hurt. Hes

clutching a wound on his chest, and he has a scroll in his
hand. He struggles to take two steps forward.

ORANGE BEAR
(to Harry, Emily)
Our world is under attack. You must
help us. Give this to your father.

The Orange Bear, weak, falls on bended knee. But he extends

his arm to give away his scroll.
ORANGE BEAR (CONTD)
Take it. Before its too late.

Emily, and Harry dont take the scroll.

The Orange Bear collapses, and rolls onto his back, showing
the wound in his chest. Its a large hole from which blood
gushes out. A LOT OF BLOOD.

EMILY
Oh, Jesus.

EXT. 90 KERRY CRES - DAY

RORY the Raccoon is outside, snoring, and sleeping under a

tree.
 3.

INT. 90 KERRY CRES, LIVING ROOM - DAY

MINDY is reading the scroll from the Orange Bear.

Chang, Emily, Harry, and Craig are standing around,

listening.

MINDY
(reading)
Our world is in grave danger. A
destructive darkness is destroying
cartoon characters, and all that
lay in its path. You must find a
solution to end it once, and for
all. Seek the a way to enter the
cartoon world. It is of the utmost
importance as we are all connected
together. The end of us means the
end of you, too.

Theres a moment of silence, and then Craig speaks up.

CRAIG
BULLLLLLLSHIAT!

CHANG
(to Emily, Harry)
You actually expect us to believe
this?

HARRY
But there was a cute, lil, orange
bear!

Chang glares at Harry, and then at this moment the Wangs

house rumbles, like theres an earthquake.

EMILY
Whoa. What was that? I think it
came from outside.

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig go to the living room

window, and crowding around look outside.

OUTSIDE they see a MASSIVE BLACK SLUDGE slowly taking over

the street at the farther end, where it is engulfing houses,
and the asphalt laying ahead of it.

EXT. 90 KERRY CRES - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

Outside EMMA appears on the street, at the opposite end of

the black sludge. Shes wearing sunglasses.
 4.

She goes toward the house, and stops when she sees the Wangs
staring. She waves to them.

EMMA
Hi, you guys! How did you know Id
be here?

As Emma is unawares, the black sludge sneaks up on her, like

a snake, and wraps her up, and it covers her mouth before she
can scream. It engulfs her.

INT. 90 KERRY CRES, LIVING ROOM - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

Back to Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig, who are still
looking outside.

Harry, upon seeing Emma taken away by the black sludge, puts
his hands atop his head, and screams.

HARRY
EMMAAAAAAA!

Harrys eyes well up with tears.

CHANG
Hey, you ever notice its really
easy to scream the names of people
whose names end with the letter A?
Or sometimes Y?

CRAIG
Yeah, its the vowels at the end.
You can extend their names almost
indefinitely.
CHANG
(nodding)
I know. Thats what I was trying to
say.

EXT. WHINDY DESERT - DAY

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig are walking through a

desert.

Chang is holding out an electronic handheld device that has

antennae on top of it, and a screen with a bright green arrow
pointing, much like a compass.

Its beeping normally at first, but then as the Wangs get

down a hill it starts beeping much faster. It takes them to a
spot in the middle of the desert.
 5.

CHANG
Here we are...

Chang puts away his handheld device into his back pocket. He,
Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig find themselves standing in
front of a blue police box. Theyre looking curiously.

MINDY
Do we go in?

Chang nods. He opens the doors to the police box, and then
he, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig get inside.

Chang closes the doors.

Now the police box starts glowing by its seams, as if it is

powering up -- but instead of traveling anywhere, rather the
world around it starts sweeping away, piece by piece, and the
landscape is replaced with an entirely new area: A FOREST.

EXT. SHAREWARE FOREST, 1ST AREA - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

The police box takes the Wangs to a place called Shareware

Forest.

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig step out of the police
box to see where they are.

Right after, the police box vanishes.

EMILY
Where are we?

HARRY
Were in a forest.

EMILY
Oh, thanks. I didnt know that.

HARRY
Youre welcome.

At this moment, a WHITE RABBIT with a polka dot bow tie, and
red overalls appears. It looks kind of retarded, but it waves
to the Wangs.

WHITE RABBIT
Hey, you guys! Over here! Follow
me!

The White Rabbit starts running off.

 6.

CRAIG
(to the Wangs)
Should we follow him?

Chang shrugs.

CHANG
Eh, I aint got no better plans.

And so Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig chase after the
White Rabbit. The White Rabbit leads them down a dirt path.

EXT. SHAREWARE FOREST, 2ND AREA - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

The Wangs continue chasing the White Rabbit.

The White Rabbit jumps, and disappears down a large HOLE IN

THE GROUND.

The Wangs without hesitation go in too.

EXT. RABBIT HOLE - DAY

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig, whilst screaming, spin

through the air, and fall down a shaft-like area that is
filled with many floating, miscellaneous objects, of which
includes antique furniture.

EXT. HALLWAY OF MANY DOORS - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

The Wangs hit the bottom of this shaft, and land on the
floor. They get up, and find themselves at the beginning of a
hallway with many, many doors.

They see the White Rabbit jogging off, and he takes a short
turn, and squeezes in through a tiny, little door.

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig go after him, but the
tiny door slams shut.

Emily pulls on the doorknob to no avail.

EMILY
Its locked!

HARRY
Maybe we need a key?

CRAIG
Maybe we need a STAND THE FUCK
BACK, EVERYONE!
 7.

Chang, Mindy, Emily, and Harry stand back. Craig takes his
arms, and punches his hands into the wall. Having a grip, he
strains, and rips away the wall, and the tiny door, too. Now
theres a way to get through.

Craig throws away the wall, and does a dusting off his hands.

CRAIG (CONTD)
Well, that about does it? Shall we
proceed now?

EXT. LOONY DESERT - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

Coming out through the previous hallway, which quickly

disappears, Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig step out
into a landscape that bears a strong resemblance to ARIZONA.

They take a moment to look, and then they walk ahead at a

steady pace, until they meet a GREY RABBIT casually chewing
on a carrot.

They stop to query him.

MINDY
Excuse me, sir, but have you seen a
white rabbit around here?

GREY RABBIT
Eeeeh, whats up, Doc?

MINDY
Im not a doctor.

CHANG
Have you seen a white rabbit? Yes,
or no?

GREY RABBIT
Foist, lets take dis moment to do
a jig. Itll be Hi-larious.

The Grey Rabbit starts doing a jig.

EMILY
Hmm, not bad.

Then suddenly we hear the sound of a shotgun, and the Grey

Rabbits head (pretty much) disappears.

HARRY
Oh my fucking God.
 8.

A GOOFY HUNTER, in his old school hunting gear, comes onto

the scene. With his shotgun, he looks at the Wangs. He puts
his finger on his lips.

GOOFY HUNTER
Be wery, wery quiet.

The Goofy Hunter grabs the Grey Rabbit by the foot, and
starts dragging him away, off-screen.

Craig turns around to say something to him.

CRAIG
(to Goofy Hunter)
Hey, were looking for a white
rabbit. Can you help us?

GOOFY HUNTER
Theres a tunnel ahead you can go
in. You might find him there.

Craig turns back around, and Chang, Mindy, Emily, and Harry
look ahead, and see a tunnel in the side of a mountain.

All five of them go to this tunnel. Chang, whos leading,

tries going through first, but instead he slams his face into
it, finding that it is only a painting. He falls down.

MINDY
Are you okay?

Mindy helps Chang back to his feet.

MINDY (CONTD)
Lets try that one instead.
Mindy points to another tunnel to the right. The Wangs go
through this new tunnel, and it acts like a portal. It takes
them inside.

EXT. CAVEMAN LAND - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig come through the

tunnel portal, which disappears behind them, and they find
themselves in Caveman Land.

They hear the SCREAM OF A MAN, and turn their heads to the
noise.

Theres T-Rex eating a caveman, wearing an orange caveman

suit, and blue tie.
 9.

It swallows him whole, burps, and then sees the Wangs. It

ROARS.

CHANG
OK. Time to go!

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig start running. The T-

Rex chases after them.

The Wangs on their run find a HOUSE made of stone, and they
jump through the open window, and hide inside.

INT. CAVEMAN LAND HOUSE - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig are staying low, trying
not to be found.

The booming footsteps of the T-REX can be heard outside. Its

growling, too.

Then it suddenly appears in the window. Its eye fills the

entire space.

We see Harry is shaking with fear.

Then the T-Rex leaves -- but a moment after it charges at the

window, so hard it gets its whole head through, and part of
its neck.

It roars, and swings its face, trying to bite at something

(anything).

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig get up, and start
running through the house, headed for the back.
As they do so, the T-Rex finally powers through the window,
and gets inside. It marches for the Wangs.

The Wangs are in the KITCHEN area, backs to the counter.

Mindy takes out her wand, and points it at the T-Rex thats
facing them, staring them down, and growling.

MINDY
Stay back! Im a witch!

But the T-Rex roars, and charges anyway.

Mindy quickly points her wand at the kitchen sink, and

creates a swirling PORTAL in the drain that sucks her in,
along with Emily, Chang, Harry, and Craig.

Theyre taken away at the very last second.

 10.

Now, the T-Rex crashes into the kitchen wall. Its a tad
stunned.

It shakes its head, and turns around to walk away, but is met
with the BLACK SLUDGE.

The Black Sludge grabs the T-Rex around its head, and
consumes it whole.

EXT. DARK ALLEYWAY - NIGHT

A THUG is mugging a frightened woman in an alleway. Hes

holding her arm, and pointing a handgun.

THUG
Your money, or your life! You
decide!

Then we hear the voice of BAT HERO. Hes kind of like Batman,
but hes not!

BAT HERO (O.S.)

How about nothing?

The Thug turns his head.

THUG
Huh?

He gets a kick to the head, and is knocked out cold. The

woman runs off, and leaves the alleway.

From the shadows, Bat Hero emerges. He spits.

BAT HERO
Scumbag.

At this very moment, Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig,

looking a little lost, emerge.

They see Bat Hero, who stares at them.

HARRY
Batman?

BAT HERO
No. Im Bat Hero. Totally
different, kid.

CRAIG
Where are we? New York?

Bat Hero squints.

 11.

BAT HERO
Wait a minute. Could it be?

Bat Hero goes over the Wangs, and looks them up, and down.

BAT HERO (CONTD)

The chosen ones.

EMILY
Chosen ones?

BAT HERO
The prophecy has foretold of a
family that will save our world
from ruin, and destruction.

CHANG
Yup, were heroes. Here to save the
day. Glad you recognized.

MINDY
(to Bat Hero)
Have you seen a white rabbit around
here?

BAT HERO
That guy? That guy is a fucking
idiot. Listen, you need to find the
Tower of Darkness, and the Evil
Lord, who lives within. Stop him,
and you stop this destruction. I
assume youve already seen the
Black Sludge?

The Wangs nod. Bat Hero then takes out a glass vial filled
with black sludge to show them. He holds it up. The sludge
seems to be alive.

BAT HERO (CONTD)

Ive been studying it. I cant
figure out if a solvent can kill
it. All I know is it means instant
death. Allow me to demonstrate.

Bat Hero uncorks the glass vial, and pours the quantity of
black sludge onto the Thug on the ground. It takes over his
entire body, and consumes him, and makes him into a skeleton.
All his flesh is stripped away.

HARRY
Whoa, you just murdered a dude.
 12.

BAT HERO
Uh... No... No, he was already dead
when I got here. I should know, Im
a detective.

CHANG
If youre such a good detective,
why dont you help us find this
Evil Lord?

Bat Hero nods.

BAT HERO
Step back, please.

Bat Hero, Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig step back,
leaving some space in the middle of the alleyway.

Bat Hero then pushes a button on his belt, which beeps, and
we hear the roar of a racing car.

Bat Heros car arrives in the alleway. Its a long, black,

aerodynamic, retro-futuristic-looking car.

HARRY
(looking)
Whoa! Hot ride!

The top of the Bat Car slides back, revealing the inside.

BAT HERO
Get in. Itll take you where you
need to go.

So, Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig get in the Bat Car,
and the top, closing, returns to its original position.

The Bat Car now burns rubber, and speeds out of the alleway.

Bat Hero puts his hands on his hips as if thinking to

himself, and then the JOKESTER, a man with a white face,
green hair, and purple suit comes out of the darkness.

JOKESTER
Hello, Batsy! How do you do!
(cackling)
Eh-he-he-he-he!

Bat Hero turns around to face the Jokester.

JOKESTER (CONTD)
Ready to play?

The Jokester cracks his knuckles.

 13.

Bat Hero rolls his eyes, and picks up the handgun on the
ground. He shooks the Jokester in the chest. The Jokester
collapses, and dies.

Bat Hero looks at the gun in his hand.

BAT HERO
Wow. No wonder police officers use
guns.

EXT. ORANGE CATS HOUSE - DAY

The Bat Car comes racing down the street, and brakes, and
angles into the driveway. The top retracts.

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig look at the nondescript

house before them. Whyre they here?

CHANG
What is this place? And whats it
got to do with the black sludge?

MINDY
We will find out.

INT. ORANGE CATS HOUSE, FRONT PART - DAY

An fat ORANGE CAT, and a YELLOW DOG are below the feet of
JOHN, a middle aged man, who has committed suicide via
hanging.

The Orange Cat sobs.

ORANGE CAT
Oh, my God, John! Why did I tease
you?! I didnt mean it!

The Yellow Dog barks.

ORANGE CAT (CONTD)

I know... He was just lonely, and
in pain. We were his pets because
he wanted companionship. He wanted
love, but I threw that in his face.

The FRONT DOOR to the Orange Cats House opens up, and Chang,
Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig are standing in the frame.

They see John, dead, hanging from his ceiling fan.

CHANG
Oh, fuck this.
 14.

EXT. ORANGE CATS HOUSE - DAY

The Wangs in the Bat Car race away from the Orange Cats
House, which shortly after becomes engulfed by the BLACK
SLUDGE.

EXT. COLORADO ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - DAY

There are four foul-mouthed children standing in front of

their school. They are strangely animated, looking less like
drawings, and more like colored construction paper.

Theres: FAT BOY, KODEE, BLUE HAT KID, and SPENNY.

FAT BOY
Oy! Spenny, you wanna play
Roshambo?

Spennys mouth is covered, and he speaks in a muffled voice.

SPENNY
Lets go, fat ass!

So, Fat Boy runs up to Spenny, and kicks him in his

beanbag.

Spenny screams in pain, and faints.

Rats then come out from nowhere, and eat the flesh off
Spennys bones, and leave as quick as they came.

BLUE HAT KID

Oh, my God! They killed Spenny!
Kodee points.

KODEE
You, uh, you assholes!

At this moment the Wangs Bat Car appears. The three

remaining school children stare.

KODEE (CONTD)
Whats that?

The Bat Cars top retracts, and Chang. Mindy, Emily, Harry,
and Craig get out. Looking at one another they seem confused.

CRAIG
Whoa, what the fuck is going on?

EMILY
Why do we look so -- low budget?
 15.

MINDY
I...dont know.

HARRY
Im scared.

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig waddle over to Fat Boy,
Kodee, and Blue hat Kid.

CHANG
(to Fat Boy)
Hello, there!

FAT BOY
What the hell do you want?

CHANG
Gee, youre kinda rude.

FAT BOY
Screw you! Suck mah balls!

CRAIG
No balls will be sucked today, sir!

Craig grabs Fat Boy, and lifts him above his head.

FAT BOY
Oy! Put me down!

Craig spins Fat Boy around, and throws him. Fat Boy screams,
and goes flying through the air, and over the school, where
he disappears.

Craig looks at Kodee, and Blue Hat Kid.

CRAIG
Oh. Um, sorry about your friend.

KODEE
He wasnt our friend.

MINDY
(to Kodee, Blue Hat)
Hey. This is a long shot, but do
any of you happen to know about the
Tower of Darkness and/or the Evil
Lord?

BLUE HAT KID

Maybe the Orakull knows.
 16.

INT. SHITTY BASEMENT - DAY

Were still in the cartoon world that looks like construction

paper.

Blue Hat Kid, and Kodee lead Chang, Mindy, Emily, and Harry
down the stairs. They go over to a large object thats
covered with a sheet.

BLUE HAT KID

This it is, dudes.

KODEE
The Orakull.

As everyone waits with anticipation Kodee pulls the sheet

revealing the Orakull.

The Orakull is a literal giant pile of shit. But he has eyes,

and a mouth, and arms, almost looking human.

The Wangs are a bit taken aback.

ORAKULL
Hello, Wang family. I am the
Orakull. I know why you seek me.
You must save our world, and the
Evil Lord --

EMILY
(interrupting)
Oh my god! You smell like shiat!

ORAKULL
My body is a representation of
life. The energy of the universe
flows through me. I --

CHANG
OK, can we hurry this up before I
throw up?

ORAKULL
Wait. To defeat the Evil Lord, you
must first seek a special sword. I
will take you there. Close your
eyes, and when I clap you shall
arrive. Ready?

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig close their eyes.

The Orakull claps. The shit from his shitty hands sprays
Kodee, and the Blue Hat Kid, but the Wangs all disappear all
at once.
 17.

EXT. SKULL CASTLE - DAY

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig from thin air appear in
front of a castle that looks like a human skull with fangs.

BACK TO NORMAL NOW, they stare up at it.

MINDY
(gulp)
I guess we have to go in there.

Then at this moment, a muscular dude in a purple hoodie, who

has the face of a skull, comes out suddenly through the front
entrance. He is wielding a staff that has a goats skull on
top of it -- this is SKELETON DUDE.

SKELETON DUDE
Who dare trespass?!

The Skeleton Dude charges at the Wangs.

HARRY
Whoa, shit!

As the Skeleton Dude is about to strike, a green/orange tiger

suddenly tackles him, and knocks him down.

SKELETON DUDE
Eagh!

The tiger bites down on the Skeleton Dudes face, rips it

off, and chews on it, like bubble gum.

Now, MUSCLE MAN appears on the scene. He is this big, greased

up, white dude, with a sword.
MUSCLE MAN
Good job, Mr Tiger!

The Muscle Man turns to the Wangs whore staring at him.

MUSCLE MAN (CONTD)

Hello, I have been told by the
Orakull you are looking for a sword
to defeat the Evil Lord.

CHANG
Yes.

The Muscle Man points to a sword in a stone just off to he

side.

MUSCLE MAN
Go forth, and take what is yours.
 18.

Chang, Mindy, Emily, and Harry, and Craig go over to the

sword in the stone.

Chang grabs it, and tries pulling it out. He struggles. Not

working.

MUSCLE MAN (CONTD)

You must be pure of heart to pull
out the sword.

So, Harry, Emily, and Craig try pulling out the sword -- with
the same result as Chang. They cant do it either.

MUSCLE MAN (CONTD)

Seriously? None of you are pure of
heart? Not one of you?

Mindy rolls her eyes, and sighs. She goes up to the stone,
and withdraws the sword without any resistance. She then
holds it aloft in the air.

As Chang, Emily, Harry, and Craig stare, the tip of the sword
glows bright, and turns the world white.

INT. SAMPSONS HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY

A fat YELLOW MAN is strangling his spiky haired son named

BILLY, while his blue haired wife MARGUERITE watches in
horror.

YELLOW MAN
Why, you little -- !

BILLY
(struggling)
Mom! Help!

MARGUERITE
Homey, youre squeezing him too
hard!

But the Yellow Man squeezes Billy until Billy goes

unconscious, and dies.

The Yellow Man lets go of Billy, and Billy drops to the

floor.

Marguerite goes over to Billy, and lowers down to look at his

face.

MARGUERITE (CONTD)
You killed him.
 19.

YELLOW MAN
Get the shovel. We should be OK as
long as there are no witnesses.

The Yellow Man hears the sound of someone clearing their

throat.

He turns his head. He sees Chang, Mindy, with her sword,

Emily, Harry, and Craig standing off in a corner, watching.

Chang waves a nervous hello.

YELLOW MAN (CONTD)

Marge, get my flame thrower.

Marge looks up at the Yellow Man.

Mindy meanwhile is dubious.

MINDY
Flame thrower?

EXT. SAMPSONS HOUSE - DAY

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig run outside. Craig

closes the front door, and puts his back against it.

CRAIG
Hurry!

Chang, Harry, and Emily make space, and stand back as Mindy
uses her wand to moves the car on the driveway.

Craig get out of the way.

Mindy sets the car down on its side in front of the front
door to block it.

MARGUERITE (O.S.)
Hurry! Theyre getting away!

The Yellow Man, inside, tries opening the door. Its not
opening.

YELLOW MAN (O.S.)

It wont open!
(snaps fingers)
I know! Ill use fire!

MARGUERITE (O.S.)
Homey, no!
 20.

We hear the sound of the flame thrower being used inside the
house. Then the house almost instantaneously becomes engulfed
in flames.

MARGUERITE (O.S.) (CONTD)

Youve set our house on fire!

YELLOW MAN (O.S.)

BOH!

The house roars like a campfire. The Sampsons die.

Emily shrugs.

EMILY
Okay, now what?

Mindy twirls her sword.

MINDY
Plunge ye this dagger into mine
heart, and set free the soul!

HARRY
Huh?

MINDY
Gather around, everyone.

So, Chang, Emily, Harry, and Craig gather around Mindy.

Mindy takes her sword, and plunges it deep into the ground.

Then a giant bean-stalk then suddenly grows underneath the

Wangs, and thrusts them up into the sky, to the clouds.

EXT. SKY - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

The Wangs are on their bean-stalk traveling through the sky.

EXT. TOWER OF DARKNESS - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig, via their giant bean-
stock reach an island-like cloud.

They get off, and jump onto the cloud, and look ahead. They
see the Tower of Darkness.

The Tower of Darkness is a spire-like building, which has on

top of it a big, black, broken heart that is spewing black
sludge from the area where it has been broken.
 21.

CHANG
Thats the tower? Its kind
of...sad.

CRAIG
Who cares! Lets go kick the Evil
Lords fucking ass!

Craig screams, and whilst flailing his arms, starts running

towards the tower of Darkness with a great, overzealous,
enthusiasm.

INT. TOWER OF DARKNESS - DAY

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig enter the Tower of

Darkness. Two large doors close behind them.

They find themselves in a large, ornate, black chamber, where

ahead of them is a man in a long, flowing cape. Standing in
front of a throne, his back is towards us, so we do not yet
see his face.

CHANG
Excuse me, but --

The man in the cape, the Evil Lord, AARON the Aardvark
dramatically turns around.

AARON
What do you want?

We see that he is blind. There is a white blindfold around

his eyes, but for some reason he still has on a pair of
round, brown glasses. His outfit as well is a yellow sweater,
with blue jeans, and red shoes.

EMILY
Arthur?

AARON
My name is Aaron. Aaron the
Aardvark.

HARRY
Are you the Evil Lord?

AARON
Some say it is so.

MINDY
You have to stop what youre doing.
Why are you making others suffer
like this?
 22.

AARON
I am not intentionally trying to
make people suffer. But I have a
broken heart, and its created
unintended consequences. Now the
world is feeling my pain.

CRAIG
How emo.

AARON
It is not emo! Heart break is one
of the worst things that an
aardvark can experience. If youve
never been through it yourself, you
will not know. It is like Kidney
stones. Sure, you say, How bad can
that be? And then it happens, and
youre all like, HOLY FUCK BALLS!

CRAIG
I dont have kidneys. Im a robot.

AARON
But this isnt some normal heart
break, mind you. I am in the
greatest agony Ive ever been
through. I am without hope. I am
inconsolable. The woman that I
loved more than anything in the
world has hurt me beyond what I
could have ever imagined. She has
pushed me towards thoughts of
suicide.
CHANG
Yeah, you know what? Killing
yourself is probably the right
thing to do.

MINDY
Chang!

CHANG
What? This will solve both our
problems. Right?

MINDY
(to Aaron)
Dont kill yourself. You are in
your darkest of dark moments, but
there is a light, even if you cant
see it.
 23.

AARON
Thank you. You are a good woman,
and I will help you.

MINDY
How?

AARON
You see me, and think that I am the
one doing harm to our world, but
there is something...something
beyond us. There are people in
control of us, who control our
everyday lives. They are the ones
you must stop.

CHANG
Whatre you saying?

AARON
Were living in a cartoon world.
Everything we experience, as real
as it seems, is a product of other
peoples imaginations. Stop them,
and you stop this chaos.

CHANG
So, were really in a...TV show?

Aaron nods.

AARON
Now that you know, I shall set you
forth to go, and stop them. It is
your destiny. Step into the circle,
and I shall pull the switch to take
you there.

So, Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig step into something
that looks like a pentagram.

Aaron now goes to the back wall, where there is a large

switch. He reaches to the right, and misses, then to the
left, with the same result. He gropes around some more to no
effect.

The Wangs look at him. Its awkward. Chang folds his arms,
and impatiently taps his foot.

MINDY
To the right, Aaron. To the right!

Aaron finds his hands on the switch.

 24.

AARON
Ah, here we go.

He pulls it down, and the next moment a fire encircles the

Wangs, and they disappear, and are instantly transported to a
whole new world via the pentagram.

EXT. KOREAN ANIMATION STUDIO - DAY

We see A REAL building. A korean animation studio that has a

resemblance to an old factory.

Our eyes gaze upon the Wangs now, who are in front of this
structure.

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig look at themselves, and

are astonished that THEY ARE NO LONGER CARTOON CHARACTERS.

THEY ARE REAL, FLESH, AND BLOOD.

CHANG
Whoa! What the fuck?

HARRY
Were real, dad -- were real!

EMILY
Three dimensions, I cant deal with
this.

MINDY
Calm down. Its gonna be OK.

Craig points to the animation studio.

CRAIG
Look! An animation studio! They
must be the ones fucking us over!

Chang nods affirmatively.

CHANG
Its go time!

INT. KOREAN ANIMATION STUDIO - DAY

The doors to the studio kick open, and Chang, Mindy, Emily,
Harry, and Craig charge inside.

The animators turn their heads, and look.

 25.

CHANG
You sons of bitches have fucked
with us for the last time!

Chang takes out a round, black bomb with little feet, and a
windup key at the back. He turns the key on this bomb, and
sets it down, and lets it walk forward.

EXT. KOREAN ANIMATION STUDIO - DAY

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig are standing back. They
watch the Korean Animation studio blow up.

CHANG
Can you smell that, guys?
(sniffs air)
It smells like --

HARRY
ASS?

CHANG
No... Victory. It smells like
victory.

EXT. BIG OFFICE BUILDING - DAY

Establishing shot.

INT. BIG OFFICE BUILDING, HALLWAY - DAY

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig are marching through a

long hallway.

CHANG
Okay, so we made a mistake. The
real culprits behind this whole
black sludge thing are the writers.

MINDY
They are the architects of story.

EMILY
Usually shitty stories.

CRAIG
It still counts.

The Wangs stop in front of a door marked:

WRITERS ROOM
 26.

Chang knocks.

The HEAD WRITER sticks his head out the door to answer.

HEAD WRITER
Hello?

The Head Writer looks at the Wangs down, and up.

HEAD WRITER (CONTD)

Whoa, you look just like the
characters from our TV show.

CHANG
Excuse me. Are you the head writer
around here?

HEAD WRITER
(smiles)
Sure am!

Chang grabs the Head Writer, and throws him down to the
floor.

HEAD WRITER (CONTD)

Ow! Whatre you --

CHANG
Stop fucking things up for us!

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig start kicking the crap
out of the Head Writer while hes on the floor, curled up in
a ball, trying to cover himself.

HEAD WRITER
(crying)
What did I do to deserve this?!

MINDY
Youve been messing with our lives!
Were your cartoon characters! The
writing youve been doing has been
destroying our world!

HEAD WRITER
Im just a writer! Im not in
charge of all the decisions! You
need to talk to the TV executives!

The Wangs stop kicking the Head Writer.

HARRY
Oh, man, were so sorry...
 27.

The Head Writer, bloodied, and bruised, stands up, and dusts
himself off.

HEAD WRITER
Its okay. Just head up to the next
floor. Youll find the board room
with all the executives there.

CRAIG
Thank you kindly, sir.

The Head Writer nods to Craig, then the Wangs start jogging
down the hallway to their destination.

The Head Writer takes a moment to adjust his tie. But then
Emily turns around, and pushes him down back to the floor.
She kicks him in the ribs. He turns, and groans.

EMILY
Im sorry! I have a problem with
violence!

INT. BIG OFFICE BUILDING, OUTSIDE BOARDROOM - DAY

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig are standing in front

of a room marked BOARDROOM.

They all have weapons. Chang has a pair of sais, Mindy a bo.
Emily a katana, Harry nunchucks, and Craig a pair of daggers.

Mindy turns the doorknob of the glass door.

INT. BIG OFFICE BUILDING, INSIDE BOARDROOM - DAY

A bunch of executives, and a CEO are sitting at the head of a
very large table, in a very large room.

CEO
Im sorry, I dont think do not be
evil should be a part of our
corporate policy.

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig now enter the board
room. The CEO, and other executives slowly turn their heads,
noticing them. They look irritated.

CEO (CONTD)
Excuse me? What are you four
vagrants doing here?

CRAIG
There are five of us.
 28.

CEO
I dont count robots.

CRAIG
Im gonna enjoy kicking your ass.

The CEO sticks up his middle finger.

CEO
FUCK. YOU.

Chang throws his sai. The sai lands between the fingers of
the CEOs hand, which is flat on the table.

The CEO sees this, and gulps.

INT. BIG OFFICE BUILDING, OUTSIDE BOARDROOM - DAY

We hear noise of the violence inside the boardroom. The Wangs

sound like they are kicking the crap out of all the
executives, and suits. Theres screaming, and yelling, and
the swishing of weapons, and body parts.

Then BLOOD SPLATTERS on the glass door, and the windows

looking into the boardroom.

The next moment the door opens, and the CEO, whos beat up,
is on his hands, and knees trying to crawl away. But Harry,
and Emily drag him back inside.

We hear more noises, of screaming, and yelling, and fighting.

INT. BIG OFFICE BUILDING, INSIDE BOARDROOM - DAY

FADE TO BLACK: The CEO, and the rest of executives are all on
the floor, having been butchered.

Chang, Mindy, Emily, Harry, and Craig stand about in the wake
of this chaos. Theyre breathing heavily like theyve been
through a battle.

CHANG
Finally, its over. Our world is
safe now -- but for how long?

CRAIG
I dont give a fuck. Im a happy
camper.

Craig goes under the executives table, and much to

everyones curiosity, takes out a boom box.
 29.

CRAIG (CONTD)
Lets celebrate!

Hes presses play, and plays some music from a cassette tape.

The Wangs start dancing.

INT. 90 KERRY CRES, MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

EVERYTHING GOES BACK TO BEING A 2D CARTOON --

Chang suddenly awakes, and sits up in bed with a sweat.

(Mindys by his side, but shes deep asleep.)

CHANG
Oh! Thank God! It was all just a
dream!

MR LIMEY (O.S.)
BOOOOOOOOOO!

Chang slowly turns his head, sees Mr Limey staring/glaring at

him in a corner.

MR LIMEY (CONTD)
You twat! Never end a story with:
It was all just a a dream!

CHANG
Umm... Can you please get out of my
house?

MR LIMEY
First, I have to take a wee.
CHANG
Fine. Just hurry it up.

Chang folds his arms. We then hear the sound of Mr Limey

urinating. Hes not urinating in a toilet though.

CHANG (CONTD)
HEY! Thats not the bathroom!

MR LIMEY
You shut your whore mouth!

Chang SIGHS. He lays back in bed, and closes his eyes.

CHANG
I hate my life.

FADE OUT.