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cI looked at my hands. They looked normal, but I knew that they weren¶t. Nothing was
normal anymore. For the first time in what felt like forever. I looked around. I saw the man at the
podium. Talking with tears in his eyes, but no matter how hard I concentrated I couldn¶t hear the
words he was speaking. I saw my mom. She sat there holding my baby brother. He was crying,
so was she. Their tears made me want to cry but the tears refused to come out. My father tried to
console them but it was impossible to speak through his own sobs. I don¶t think I¶ve ever seen
my father cry before. It was odd. He was usually so tough and strong but right now he looked
scared and vulnerable. I wanted to reach out and hug him, but deep down; somehow I knew that I
couldn¶t. My brother, my twin brother Aspen, looked lonely. This would be the first time we¶ve
been apart since I was born. I looked into his face. It was like looking into a mirror. I was one of
the twins. The outgoing one. Who could get himself out of trouble in a wink of an eye. We never
left each others¶ side in fears we¶d lose each other forever.I looked around the room. All my
aunts, uncles and cousin were there. So were my friends from school, everyone was crying or
trying their hardest not to. I looked through the crowd and looked for `
, the person who caused
this all this pain and misery. I felt anger boiling deep down inside of me.
I can still remember us fighting. Screaming and while Aspen was crying in the corner
holding his ears. He stormed into the back. I thought he had given up. I went to reasurre Aspen.
Telling him that everything would be alright. I don¶t think I¶ve ever been so wrong. He came
back into the room with a gun in his hands. I tried to console him. I looked straight in the
eyes and told him that this shouldn¶t happen, that we were brothers, after all, but I saw
nothing in his eyes. They were blank. It scared the living daylights out of me. All I
could do was tell Aspen to run, because at that moment, right then and there, I knew I
was going to die and I wanted to make sure my parents still had one of their twins left.
I always wanted to know what a gunshot sounded like and now, I don¶t want to
hear that sound ever again. The second he pulled the trigger, I closed my eyes and
braced for the pain. It felt like someone punched me, full force, in the gut and out of
their hand sprang a long sharp sword. I think I cried. The only thing I really remember
is laying there praying for either death or help, the pain felt so bad. Then, I remember
being here looking at all the people I loved and all the people that loved me. I thought
about my brother. The guy I used to look up to. Who taught me about girls, love, life,
and anything else. I used to think he¶d die for me. Now I see all he¶d do is hurt and
kill me. We started fighting earlier this year. He¶s was an eighth-grader and me and
Aspen had just entered sixth grade. He told us before the school year even started that
if we embarrassed him at school he¶d give us the beaten of a lifetime. We didn¶t get
in trouble, we didn¶t get sick, we did nothing at school that would embarrass him.
That wasn¶t enough though. Everyday he¶d fuss at for minor thing we did that he had
heard about. Aspen has always been absolutely terrified of him. I took it into my own
hands to protect us both. Hatred and tension grew so heavy between us that you could
probably cut it with a plastic knife.
I felt tears pushing at my eyes, I wanted to cry so bad. I wanted all the tension
to go away. I finally understood what was wrong. I¶
`  

  As the
realization dawned on me, everything seemed to get drowned out by a bright light.
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I looked into the light. I saw my grandparents who died before I was born, my
best friend Nikko who died when we were six, my baby sister who was a stillborn. For
the first time in what felt like forever, I cried. I cried and cried. It felt like I cried for
hours. I nodded my head and smiled as I was lead into the light.
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