Elaboration Techniques

Use the following as a guide to improving your writing by elaborating.

Add Stronger Action verbs:
Instead of: The couple moved across the dance floor.
Try: The couple swept across the dance floor.
Include Narrative Details:
Instead of: She was a wicked old witch.
Try: She was a wicked old witch who took delight in the terrified screams of
children.
Include Sensory Details:
Instead of: The girl wore a red dress.
Try: The girl wore a red dress that fit loosely around her and touched the floor as
she walked.
Use descriptive adjectives
Instead of: She wore a gown and long gloves.
Try: Her silky, long, jeweled gloves extended from the puffed sleeve of her sleek,
elegant gown
Use Dialogue:
Instead of: Hagrid told us we should not be afraid of the Hippogriff.
Try: Then Hagrid spoke, Do not be afraid of this creature; he is a friend to
everyone.
Give Examples:
Instead of: Youll never have a second chance to make a first impression, but often
first impressions can change.
Try: Youll never have a second chance to make a first impression, but often first
impressions can change. For instance, my mother initially thought my dad was an
older version of Napoleon Dynamite, but after giving him a chance, she
discovered he was the man of her dreams.
Tell Anecdotes:
Instead of: I trust new friends.
Try: Some new friends are especially trustworthy, like Tammy, who came to our
school just one month ago. Already, were just like inseparable sisters.
Metaphors: The music was a river of joy flowing through the room.
Personification: The trees moaned as the wind beat against them.