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r i s h i k a l i a @ k h a l s a . c o m
26 August 2010
1 What is MOM:
GOD couldn't be there with every child,
so he made MOTHER!!
She wipes your nose,
cleans your clothes,
sings for you.
She does not sleep in the night,
just to soothe your wails & cries.
Nobody knows that what you are today,
is all because of your MOTHER.....
4 F : Field of Love
R : Root of Joy
I : Island of GOD
E : End of Sorrow
N : Name of Hope
D : Door of Understanding
That's wht YOU are
My FRIEND
5 Reality is an illusion
created due to lack of alcohol.
-------------Sir Johnie Walker.
6 Puzzle: Letter after F +
half of 8 +
shadow of q +
opposite of d +
letter before M +
middle of sea +
2 * 18th letter +
middle of sun.
Answer to above:
GOD BLESS U
7 S_nrise
B_tterfly
Pict_re
L_nch
Bea_ty
F_n
M_sic
All are incomplete witho_t
"U"
That's why i miss "U" a lot..
18 Redefined Definitions:
Atom Bomb - An invention to end all inventions.
Cigarette - A pinch of tobacco with fire at one end n a fool at the other.
Lecture - The art of transfering a conscious person to a subconscious state.
Genius - See the sender's name
19 With gleam of Diyas & the echo of the Chants
May Happiness and Contentment fill your life.
Wishing you n your family
A Very Happy n Prosperous Deepawali.
30 G - Go to bed
O - Off the light
O - Out of tension
D - Dreams come
N - Nice sleep
I - Ignore worry
G - Get fresh
H - Have a nice night
T - Thank to GOD.
Good Night & Take Care..
33 Go to window,
look outside,
Someone is waiting for your smile,
found..?
"The Moon"
Yes!!
He came to wish you
GOOD NIGHT
34 i think your eyes are tired looking at this world.
Let your eye lashes hug each other for a few hours.
Happy journey into the Dream World..
Good Night!!
44 D.O.S.T.I.
D - Dastak bhi na de
O - Or apna banaa le
S - Saari zindagi jo saath de
T - Takdeer jo sawaar de
I - Isi rishtey ka naam hai DOSTI
63 A real friend is a
Smile when you are sad,
Hope when you are disappointed,
Guide when you are lost,
Song when you are happy,
Company when you are lonely, n
Help when you are helpless.
65 Attitude to LIVE:
Laugh like you have never cried.
Play like you have never lost.
Love like you have never been hurt.
Live like there is no tomorrow.
159 Boy: Main keha sohneyo, jutti te badi sohni paai hoi hai.
Girl: Utaaroon kya?
Boy: Main keha pajaami te hor v sohni hai.....
164 Sardaar apni beti ke liye 24 saal ka ladka dekhne Delhi gayaa.
Wahaan se biwi ko ph. karta hai:
"Oh bai toni di mummy,
24 da te koi ni milyeaa,
12-12 de hi do labh laan."
181 Jeeto: Kyon ji, tussi gaddi di speed kyon badhaa ditti..?
Santa: Break fail ho gayaa hai,
accident hon to pehlaan hi aapaa ghar pahunchna hai..
265 Alvida keh kar jab koi aankho se dooor hota hai,
aankhein dekhti rehti hain magar dil majboor hota hai,
koi kahe na kahe zubaan se..
magar dil mein dard zaroor hota hai.
298 Kuch unki adaaon ne loota, kuch unki inaayat maar gayi..
Hum raaz-e-mohabbat keh bhi na paaye, chup rehne ki aadat maar gayi..
Dil ne kiya majboor kai baar milne ko, jee bhar ke unko dekha na gaya,
nigaahon ki sharaafat maar gayi..
Dono ko hi hai shikaayat, ilzaam lagaayein kis par,
kuch dil ne humein barbaad kiya, kuch humaari kismat maar gayi..
308 Pyaar koi khel nahi jis mein jeet ya haar ho,
pyaar koi cheez bhi nahi jo har waqt tayyar ho,
pyaar woh hai jab pata ho kisi ne nahi aana,
phir bhi intezaar ho..
309 A rose is always a rose
whether in golden pot or dustbin.
Same way you are always my friend
whether you are in
central jail or mental hospital..
310 Who am i?
a step when you are stopped,
a touch when you are lost,
a word when you are quiet,
a smile when you are sad,
a shoulder when you cry, &
a friend who would be there always..
317 In a bathroom,
a boy touches a girl everywhere.
You know who is that boy..?
He is Lifeboy!!
374 -->H
--->A
---->P
----->P
------>Y
------->NEW
-------->YEAR
2
0
0
7
\o/
()
<<
O__
[]--
??
o>
<[]
?? >-->-o
436 Ek Rose
--;--;--<@
un dosto ke liye
jo milte nahi
roz-roz
magar..
yaad aate hain
har roz.
So Sweet!!
i know you will search me like this.
445 Two things in life which are more tragic than death:
1. Your love loves you and you don't know it.
2. Your love doesn't love you and you know it.
446 You are GHONCHU
G-reat
H-ot
O-ne in million
N-aughty
C-ute
H-umble
U-nique
456 Dreams are not those which are seen during sleep
Dreams are those which will never let you sleep.
So see the dreams and work hard to make them true.
544 Pati: Aaj tumne yeh kaisa khaana banaaya hai..Gobar jaisa.
Patni: Hey Bhagwaan, is aadmi ne kya-kya chakh rakha hai.
560 w
y
h
wi
yo
ha
wis
you
hap
wish
you a
happy
*'''*'''*'''*'''*
*$happy holi$*
*'''*'''*'''*'''*
583 Saddam(Narak mein): Yamraaj ji, mujhe pakistan baat karni hai.
Yamraaj: Karlo.
After the call..
Saddam: Kitne rupae hue..?
Yamraaj: Narak to narak calls free hain.
601 What you say today will have a different meaning tomorrow.
603 Give laughs to all but smile to one,
give cheeks to all but lips to one,
give love to all but heart to one,
let everybody love u but U love one!
623 Your absence should be long enough so that somebody misses you.
but it shouldn't be so long that somebody learns to live without you.
So, KEEP IN TOUCH!
637 My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
638 A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
651 Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.
653 A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, "A billionaire.
655 A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said,
"I've found a woman just like mother!"
His father replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
658 If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
660 It's not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.
661 Losing a wife can be very hard.
In my case, it was almost impossible.
666 Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
682 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife.
683 I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
687 She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.
750 Yeh chaand bhi dekho kya ajeeb sitam dhaata hai,
bachpan mein yeh mama
aur jawaani mein sanam nazar aata hai,
kehne ko to hain chaand mein daag bahut,
aashiqo ko fir bhi sunder nazar aata hai,
chup jaata hai jab bhi yeh baadlo ki oat mein,
deedar-e-husn paane ko har ek machal jaata hai,
laakho taaro se bhari hai aasmaani chaadar phir bhi,
chaand to har dum tanha hi nazar aata hai.....
754 Doctor paagal se: Yeh chithi tum kise likh rahe ho..?
Paagal: Apne aap ko.
Doctor: Achcha isme kya likha hai.
Paagal: Maalum nahi.
Doctor: Kyu..?
Paagal: Abhi mujhe mili kahaan hai..!
769 My sweetheart,
my kuchikoo,
my nonumonu,
my golumolu,
my darling,
my cutipie,
my jaanu,
my lovely,
my heartbeat,
my sweetest,
DOGGY is missing dikhe to bataana.
770 My eyes-Miss U
My feelings-Luv U
My mind-Calls U
My life is U.
I'll die without U.
I LUV U..........
aisa teri friend mujhe bolti hai
SAMBHAL USKO.
775 No visits..
No calls..
No sms..
No emails..
No letters..
No missed calls..
No nothing..
i m worried.....
kya hua?
zoo waalon ne fir se pakad liya kya?????
783 One day all people of earth went to GOD and asked:
Who is the most loving and sweetest person on earth?
They all went to earth with a new question,
Who is <sender's name>?
790 Kitnagussaaataahaijabkoibinaspaceskesmsbhejtahai
aurkitnamazaataahaijabkoibewakoofaankheinfaadfaad
karussmskopadhnekikoshishkartahai
aurfirmuskuraatahai..
791 Sirf..
Sirf..
Sirf..
Sirf..
Sirf..
Sirf..
Sirf..
Disturb karna tha.
798 DL9CN5875
DL08AS7724
DL03AA2305
DL08EE0026
HR011A0900
PB05AD2001
CH03AA5432
Itne gaur se kya dekh rahe ho?????
Kal subha in sab gaadiyon par kapdaa maar dena.
801 Boy to Father: Meri dooor ki nazar kharaab ho gayi hai, chashmaa le do.
Father took him outside and asked: Woh kya hai?????
Boy: Suraj.
Father: Abey Bhootni ke, ab aur kitni dooor dekhna chaahtaa hai!
805 Why a man with a broken heart does not need General Knowledge.?
Because..
Jab dil hi toot gayaa,
to hum G.K. kya karenge..
813 Attendance..
Pappu- Yes sir
Bablu- Yes sir
Tinku- Yes sir
Gullu- Yes sir
Ullu- ?????
Ullu- ?????
button na dabaao, present lagaao.
814 AyzazypzykyzaTyzizymzyebyzazyryzbzyazyd
kzyazyrzynzyatzyhzyakyzayzrdzyiyza..
Confuse ho gaye..?
y aur z delete karo aur padho..!
835 Santa joined Army, given ak-47, puzzeled Santa asks Major,
"Sir, is bandook ki nali saamne rakhun ya ulta?"
Major: Kisi bhi tarah rakho, faayedaa desh ka hi hoga.
840 Santa baar-baar zebra crossing per idhar udhar chal raha tha,
woh kya soch raha hoga?????
"Yeh Piano saala bajta kyon nahi.......???"
850 A ki biwi B,
B ki bhabhi C,
C ki beti V
V ke daadaa G
G ki biwi K
K ki beti T
Now tell ki A aur T ka kya rishta hua??
869 D se Dil
D se Dosti
D se Dushmani
D se Dard
D se Deewangi
D se Dillagi
Par
D se Dooori itni na ho jaaye ki
D se Dum nikal jaaye
Samjhe
D se Dear
889 Care is the main ingredient that keeps true friendship alive,
despite separation, distance and time.
Since I can't see u,
let my care be with u.....
902 A : u r active
B : u r best
C : u r cute
D : u r my dear
E : u r excellent
F : u r always first
G : u r great
Sorry Z tak jhooth bolne ke liye time lagega..
917 Principal: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya to fine dena hoga.
1st time: 100 Rs.
2nd time: 200 Rs.
3rd time: 300 Rs.
Munna bhai interrupts n says:
ae maamu, monthly paas kitne mein hai..?
935 Santa: Yaar, mujhe apni girl friend ko gift dena hai. Kya doon ?
Banta: Gold Ring de de.
Santa: O yaar koi waddi cheez bataa.
Banta: Jaa fir truck ka tyre de de.
939 Smiles are the birds which fly from face to face
May ur lips give them the best nest
so they can live there FOREVER.
KEEP SMILING
952 Teacher asks a kid: What are the two latest versions of Java..?
Kid says: Marjava and Mitjava.
954 Teacher: Beta, bataao to "TAMSO MAA JYOTIR GAMAYA" shlok ka kya arth hai?
Student: Tum so jaao maa, main JYOTI ke paas jaa rahaaa hun....
956 Tera blood group kya hai, urgently call karke bataa.
Mere dost ke kutte ka accident ho gayaa hai,
Dr. ne kahaa hai ki kisi aawaara kutte ka khoon chaahiye.
991 Namaskaar.....
Aaj ki taazaa khabar.....
Newspaper mein hai!!
So plz carry on.
GOOD MORNING.
995 Sharaab ek aisi beemaari hai jo poore samaaj ko pee jaati hai.
Aao ise milkar khatam karein,
ek bottle tum khatam karo,
ek bottle hum khatam karein.
996 Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika Sherawat
Dono ne kapdo ko tyaag diya..
Ek ne desh ke liye,
aur ek ne deshwaasiyon ke liye..
1009 Mr. Bean called hospital to enquire abt his pregnant wife
but call went to cricket stadium.
Bean: What's the condition?
Reply: 7 are already out,
3 still to come &
first one was Duck.
1027 We all are born in this world for some special purpose..
None of us are waste..
So, don't be a prisoner of past but
be an architect of your future..
1028 If you get less messages from me,
don't think that I don't think,
that i didn't care for you but
i am searching for the best message
for a best person like you..
1032 Our lives are all about the choices we make and
the consequence of those choices.
It is a simple paradigm applies to all.
To get, u must first give..
1033 Santa: Yaar uth bhookamp aa rahaa hai..saara ghar hil raha hai.
Banta: Soja-soja ghar girega to makaan maalik ka..hum to kiraayedaar hain..
1035 May this new year bring many opportunities to your way,
may all your dreams turn into reality and
all your efforts into great achievements.
Happy New Year..
1052 #include<Blessings>
#include<Best Wishes>
Enjoy main()
{
clrscr();
cout<<"Wishing You a Happy Married Life";
getch();
}
1053 Who said english is easy Fill these blanks with yes/no:
1. ____, i don't have a brain.
2. ____, i'm stupid.
3. ____, i'm not human, i'm donkey.
SmIlE pLz
1055 One day sunday went to monday 2 see tuesday and ask
wednesday whether
thursay has told friday that saturday is diwali..
Happy Diwali..
1056 Ravan ko court laya gaya aur kaha gita pe haath rakho.
Ravan chillaya, Sita pe haath rakha to itna bawaal ho gaya
ab gita pe nahi rakhoonga.
1072 Umma..umma..uma..umma..umma..
Ummmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaa..ummaa..umma..
How do u feel?
This is the cry of a muslim girl
when her Mother died.
1083 Human body can bear only upto 45 del (unit) of pain.
But at the time of giving birth
a woman feels upto 57 del of pain.
This is similar to 20 bones getting fractured at a time.
Love your Mother till the end of your life.
1096 Boy: Yamraj ji, mujhe waqt se pehle kyun utha liya?
Yamraj: Dimag mat chaat, March mein closing hai,
target poora karna hai.
1129 Behosh aadmi ko dekh kar Dr: Yeh mar chuka hai.
Tabhi aadmi bola: Main zinda hun.
Aadmi ki biwi boli: Tum chup raho,
itna bada Dr. kya jhooth bolega.
1134 Santa ki beti: Papa kal aapke ghar se ek member kam ho jaaega.
Next day santa ki beti bhaag jaati hai.
Santa: Ladki ne kaam to galat kiya per
thi woh Jyotshi!
1148 Girl: Meri skin bahut soft and sensitive hai aur
rang bhi bahut gora hai.
Main sone se pehle kya laga ke soya karoon..?
Doctor: Darwaaze ki Kundi!
1169 Santa: Yaar Banta, hum dono mein kya rishta hai?
Banta: Jo Gobar aur Uple mein hai.
Santa: Woh kaise?
Banta: Jab Gobar Santa hai, tabhi to Upla Banta hai.
1176 PUNJABI
P: Pangebaaz
U: Unbeatable
N: Naughty
J: Joshiley
A: Azaad
B: Bahadur
I: Intelligent
1188 Policeman: Sir, how did you come to have this accident?
Motorist: Well, the sign just there says, Stop? Look? Listen. and
while i was doing that
the train hit me.
1197 Never be proud nor be depressed for what you are and
for the position you hold because
after the game of chess
the king and soldiers go into the same box..