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Heres advice youll find in this book;

The Life Guide - 22 Essential Laws For Thriving In The Modern World ......................................... 3
#1) Change Your Bullshit Beliefs ......................................................................................................... 10
#2) Build On Strength (NOT Passion) ................................................................................................. 14
#3) Get In Great Shape ....................................................................................................................... 19
#4) Learn Faster & Memorize More ................................................................................................... 26
#5) Do Meaningful Work ...................................................................................................................... 32
#6) Record Your Life .............................................................................................................................. 33
#7) Find A Flow Activity ........................................................................................................................ 35
#8) Manage Your Money .................................................................................................................... 36
#9) Get Paid For Performance ........................................................................................................... 39
#10) Stay ENGAGED In Life.................................................................................................................. 40
#11) Prioritize Your Social Life .............................................................................................................. 42
#12) Define Your Demographics & Set Boundaries ..................................................................... 44
#13) Set Goals & Focus Down ............................................................................................................ 48
#14) Ignore The 99% .............................................................................................................................. 55
#15) Develop Social Skills ..................................................................................................................... 56
#16) Build Confidence.......................................................................................................................... 65
#17) Look Your Best, Every Day .......................................................................................................... 69
#18) Quality Relaxation ........................................................................................................................ 71
#19) Do A Morning Ritual ..................................................................................................................... 73
#20) Stay Motivated .............................................................................................................................. 76
#21) Visualize ........................................................................................................................................... 83
#22) Build Up Habits............................................................................................................................... 89
Afterthoughts ........................................................................................................................................... 93
Recommended Reading..................................................................................................................... 96

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The Life Guide - 22 Essential Laws For

Thriving In The Modern World
"Our brains are battlefields between our nature and our nurture". -
Carlo

Your brain is in many ways un-adapted to the times you live in.

In our modern day and age we no longer have to struggle to survive since our
basic needs have become pretty much guaranteed. Because of this our instincts
no longer tell us whats best for us and we fall into what Viktor Frankl described
as an existential vacuum.

Weve become detached from direction and fill up our spare-time as plant-
zombies living a 9-5 death grind.

We resort to stimulation or sedation to fill up the remaining emptiness leading to

boredom, addiction, depression, aggression and even suicide. Were lost trying
to find our way in this world.

Not a pretty picture.

Technology is going crazy, population is expanding at an enormous rate whilst

fossil fuels can barely keep up our throwaway society. Additionally, our brains
simply can't keep up with the cultural trends in many different areas of our life;
mainly socially, economically and physically

Additionally, the labor economy has been replaced by a knowledge society

where women have become increasingly self-reliant and independent which
has obscured the traditional gender roles and has led to frictions between men
and women.

Women cant seem to find a real man and man cant find feminine women.
Sexual frustration, identity confusion, divorce, feminism, exaggerated masculism
and inequality galore.

How many of our daily problems arent caused because we've strayed too far
from our "natural" way of living? How many of our problems arent even fucking
talked about?

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The food you eat and what you consider "healthy" is being indoctrinated
by multinationals - not what's actually good for you.
Doctors treat symptoms instead of causes to raise pharmaceutical profits.
Leading to a Pill-popping society
Your fulfilled needs have led to a pointless existence - which gets filled up
by addiction, depression, boredom and other dysfunctional behaviors.
The intellectual work you do, reduces the amount you use your body,
leading to long-term (irreversible) damage.
Relationships and marriages break down because of miscommunication,
power struggles and commitment issues.
We work unskilled safe 9-5 jobs and work slave away at our desks for the
remainder of our life to pay off your ever-increasing debt (because of
blind consumerism that has tricked us into buying shit we dont need)

Yet, it doesnt have to be this way. All these

problems arise because weve never been
taught how to deal with them, (A problem I believe
shouldve been addressed in school a long time
ago)

The problems arise because were confused

between what our instincts tell us to do, what we
intellectually think is the best choice and the
pressure of social conformity to comply to the
herd.

This makes your thoughts divided (understatement)

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Every day is a battle thats raging inside your head.

On the one hand youre just following your instincts by trying to simply survive
and reproduce as much as possible. And dont take me wrong - you should
chase sex and resources.

But just to a certain extent.

Money and sex are essential and often of primary importance. But not the final
answer to life, at least not like its being propagated.

Not the answer.JPG

(also works great for keeping your attention)

Intellectually youll eventually desire something more.

This goes by many names; self-actualization, becoming the strongest version of

yourself, living the good life, becoming enlightened and whatnot.

How can we really thrive in this new world of 7.2 Billion People and get the most
bang for our buck out of our life?

In this book I'm going to share 22 condensed, practical tips that will exponentially
increase your life quality. Its an overview of the best advice Ive picked up until
this day. Consider this a survival guide for thriving in our modern society.

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Why Is This Important?

The world is speeding up faster and faster and getting more and more
competitive by the day and you don't want to be left behind, right?

It has become more and more important to take charge of your own mind,
develop deep domain expertise and have some clear direction in your life. If not
youre simply not going to cut it anymore.

This book is about responsibility. Meaning you accept the fact that you're
100% responsible for your life quality.

Every. Single. Part.

Your finances, your social relationship, your health, your happiness. Any
corruption of thought you allow in your mind can will lead to bad actions which
in turn reduce your life quality.

You're overweight because you gave away to group pressure at family

dinners, friends that pushed you to eat junk and so-on
Your relationships dont work out because you haven't learned how to
attract women and improve your relationship.
Your friends dont want to meet up with you anymore since you; dont text
them anymore, arent open/honest or just have an overall boring fucking
life.
You're poor because you haven't been able to position yourself according
to your strengths and learn difficult, useful skills and you also keep buying
shit you dont actually need.
Youre unconfident because you arent living up to your ideal self

This stops now

By learning from the ones that came before us we're able to make better
decisions in the now. It allows us to "stand on the shoulders of giants" and tap
into the collective wisdom of great minds that have come before you.

I dont claim to know everything (see step 14). Far from it. I believe no-one truly
has life all figured out.

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We all work with what weve got to make better decisions in our life. Most
share/impose/dump their convictions and experiences unto others.

In the end thats all we can really do. This book contains most of mine

Defining The Game

So

Youre looking to maximize your life quality right?

What does a great life even mean?

I've come to the conclusion there are 6 different, key aspects to living a fulfilled
and happy life in our current society. So this is my approximation of happiness;

1. Creating A Strong Mindset (Building high self-esteem & cultivating a

positive outlook on life)
2. Fulfilling Your Basic Needs (Establishing a baseline of health, wealth &
social relationships)
3. Finding Meaning (Find a meaningful occupation to provide value for
others, something to truly live for whether this is in people or work)
4. Flow (Find an activity(ies) in which you can "lose yourself")
5. Growth (Consecutive achievement of personal goals through focusing
down on what matters most and staying motivated)
6. Novelty/challenge (Fulfillment in life comes from varied life experiences.
Stop your life from growing stale)

In this book Ill go over how to tackle the majority of these components. Lets be
clear here;

Staying Engaged in life at all costs is the most important thing you should be
doing.

Its not chasing money, not chasing pussy, not growing your popularity nor social
status that makes us feel alive.

Engagement, excitement, challenge, novelty, meaning is what you need.

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The Rules
This also means removing everything that gets you away from that nice clean
focus- mindset. Most escape the feeling of apathy/emptiness with temporary
escapes.

Heres some of my standard guidelines for life that eliminates escapes and force
me to face my life head-on.

Abide by the following rules at all costs;

NO TV, Ever (Unless pre-defined movies/shows that are useful)

NO unnecessary social media (Call your friends instead you wont miss
out on others adventures)
NO alcohol/drugs/smoking
NO porn, Ever (It will decrease your desire for real sex. It poisons and
desensitizes your mind/sex-life. Gives you erectile dysfunction and social
anxiety)
o masturbation also makes you lazy. Yet suppression isnt good
neither. Use sparingly- Dry orgasms are best
NO video games, EVER. Its an escape from your life NOT relaxation
NO blind consumerism (Dont buy shit you dont need/cant afford.
(Spend your money on other people, events and assets)
NO high-sugar/fried/fast-food

Just nice, clean focus to really feel awake & alive. This way you cant escape
and will be forced on creating a better life for yourself.

Lets play.

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#1) Change Your Bullshit Beliefs

Often in life were stuck with conditioned beliefs by society that have dictated
to us who we are and what were capable of. By allowing other people to do
so, were basically limiting our possibilities and chances for success. (among
many other)

If people tell you that youre not smart, guess what youre going to believe
about yourself after a while? > That youre dumb
If you failed at public speaking for the first time in your life, guess what
youre going to believe about yourself? > That you suck at public
speaking
If you had an awkward night out with weird interactions with women,
guess what youre going to believe? > That youre creepy and
unattractive

If let untouched - this list has become endless

We base the perception of ourselves and our surroundings on the proof weve
gathered over the years not knowing that it might have been a one-time-event.

We think that because weve made a mistake that we as whole beings are a
failure. We form false conclusions that hold us back in life.

Why is this a problem?

Our perception of who we are and of our world is literally what shapes our life.
Our beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies. They ruin your life.

Lets clear these up shall we?

How To Change Beliefs?

Beliefs are determined and changed by three key pillars;

Our Perception (What we see as truth)

Our References (The so-called proof we use to back our truth up)
Time (Transition time between two beliefs)

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Step 1: Changing Your Perception

For reprogramming your mind, you should start with
your perception. This is basically what you believe to
be true; the perception of yourself and the world
around you.

Often these perceptions have been given to us by

our surroundings when we were younger like I said
before.

Actually, most of the things we believe up until this

day are provided by our surroundings.

Your mom that says youre naturally gifted at singing

Your teachers at school that say the world is difficult and cruel

This process is called auto-suggestion. These beliefs are automatically provided

by the media, friends, society and whatnot. Its the default mode in our brain.

Its the crappy you.

The way we change our beliefs is by overriding what we currently believe

trough self-suggestion (meaning you create the perception you want to have
about yourself and about your life)

This is the most important step youll need to take if you want to reprogram your
brain.

Step 2: Building Up References

The problem is that youll now have two,
conflicting beliefs about yourself and the belief
with the most proof (aka the one that feels the
most true) is the one that will take over.

Our brain will resist our new, empowering belief

until weve actually build up enough proof to
back it up in the first place. This resistance is
called Cognitive dissonance.

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Basically your mind will try to disprove your new beliefs continuously.

Your brain is an asshole it will lie to you constantly. It cannot be trusted. It will
fight to preserve energy and stay in its mental comfort zone.

Dont allow him.

Assuming a better you/better outlook on life will be hard to believe in the

beginning until youve build up enough references to actually back it up. But
you just need to persist in living according to what you want to believe in order
to create the references to actually back that belief up.

Makes sense?

For Example:

You wont believe youre good with women until

youve successfully approached one (or several ones). But you
wont successfully approach them if you dont believe you can.
You wont believe youre good at studying a certain course until youve
actually done a great test. But you wont do a great test unless youre
actually convinced youre good at studying so youll put more effort in
the learning

See the contradiction?

A great way to build up references with your new beliefs is by vividly

visualizing (see step 21) them in action. Ive recently read a great book titled
Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz which states that;

The human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an

actual experience and one imagined vividly and in detail.
So by practicing the beliefs we want in our mind, were able to build up
experiences (read: proof) BEFORE we actually go out and apply them. This is
HUGE. This trick is called

If you want to believe you are more confident, smart, attractive, whatever.
Simply vividly imagine yourself acting and being EXACTLY how you would want
to be in each situation. Keep persisting until your new, empowering belief
becomes your standard thought-pattern.

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Step 3: Time
Basically, fake it until you build up enough reference
experiences to start believing in it.

Time, therefore is the last factor for changing beliefs. It is

the gradual change agent between two conflicting
beliefs.

So persisting is key here.

Over time, our new empowering belief will take the

place of our old, dis-empowering belief. This is the same
way as you build new habits. When we continuously use willpower to reach a
desired action, it will become habitual over time.

In the same way, we can build up a habitual personality. Our new, empowering
beliefs will therefore become auto-suggested and we wont have to deal
anymore with the cognitive dissonance.

Quick Re-cap:

Perception
o Recognize the auto-suggested limiting perception
o Recognize the pain it causes in your life
o Self-suggest a new perception
Build Up References
o Visualize vividly and in detail how this new belief will take effect
o Experience new situations that confirm your new perception
Time
o Let references build up, so your new perception
becomes habitual (anywhere from 18 to 254 days 66 on average)

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#2) Build On Strength (NOT Passion)

You're not going to excel at everything. Strengths are your natural (meaning in-
born) qualities in which you perform above-average. They are the things that
come easy to us whilst others might have more difficulty in dealing with these.

Why Are Strengths Necessary?

Building our live around strengths will give us the "edge" we need to really make
it big.

People leave school without knowing the things theyre good at nor in which
industry they can perform the best. Theyre unskilled encyclopedias (at best)

They're either on a wild-goose chase to find their "one true passion" (which is
retarded) or dont care at all and just settle for a steady pay-check (even
worse). This skipping from job to job (/lack of ambition) disables them to really
develop deep domain expertise.

Many people (read: almost everyone) dont know how to leverage their
strengths and therefore dont direct their natural talents and capabilities towards
a more favorable direction.

Its the same reason why so many people get stuck in a career that is unfit for
their particular skill-set and therefore they get demotivated, depressed and
pretty much just retire on the job

If you discover and develop your strengths youre able to produce optimal
results.

Note: Strengths are solely a performance indicator (not unchangeable truths).

You can stretch yourself - but simply not indefinitely.

One should waste as little effort as possible on improving areas of

low competence. It takes far more energy to improve from
incompetence to mediocrity than it takes to improve from first rate
performance to excellence Peter Drucker

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Another note on this came from Strengthsfinder 2.0;

While it may be possible, with a considerable amount of work, to add

talent where little exists, our research suggests that this may not be
the best use of your time Tom Rath
What about talent?

Talent does not exist. Theyre just justifications that allow us to explain why others
are doing better than us. This way we dont have to face the truth that weve
wasted our time life on useless activities or even worse: that were inadequate.

Although talent does not exist - you will excel better in a certain field because of
your personality
The most important accelerating factor being the age you start1
NOT talent.

When youve found that field you should start as young as possible and develop
deep domain expertise by hours upon hours of beating on your craft.

Heres how you really develop talent;

So..

1
http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/Simonton/FSUnvn.ppt

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How Do You Find Your Strengths?

Self-analysis

The best way I've found to do this is by keeping a record of your life (see step 6)
in which you're able to spot different trends and inclinations that will give these
away. Here's some other ways you can try;

1) Summary

First read the summary of Managing Oneself by Peter F. Drucker and define for
yourself some essential traits;

Are you a reader or a listener?

How do you learn best? (Learning Styles)
Do you work well with people of perform better alone? (Extremely
Important!)
Do you produce results as decision maker or as an adviser?
Do you perform well under stress or do you need structured environments?

2) Questions

In what activities/environment did you grew up around? Strengths can

arise from early practice, what types of activities were you involved in as a
child?
What do strangers compliment you on? Your direct surroundings often
don't notice your natural strengths as much as others do.
What did you want to become as a child? What were the underlying
trends?
What have you been doing the last 10 years? Competence can arise from
doing a certain thing over and over.
What can you effortlessly talk about without losing drive? An interesting
topic is most likely something you're highly skilled at or interested in.
What are the things you effortlessly excel at? What comes easy to you?
In what areas do you learning quickly? Some skills are perfectly suited to
our temperament and therefore we're able to pick these up much faster
and accelerate our expertise.
Who do you envy/admire? Jealousy is a nasty but beautiful emotion as it
shows us what we truly want. (As does admiration)

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3) Personality Tests

A great way to explore further is by doing personality tests.

MBTI-test
DISC-assessment
Enneagram

Learn more about each type by simply googling the results you've gotten.

Put all of these answers in a separate word-sheet an try to find

professions/skills/work-places that are optimally suited for your strengths and
interests.

What about passion?

Initial passion does NOT exist either.

Building upon strengths mean youre able to become highly competent at an

activity. Competence leads to enjoying the activity more. Enjoying it more
means you'll be doing it more.

Eventually you'll start to love it and it'll become your "passion". So dont go
searching for it on an endless goose-chase but create it by building on strengths.

Like Cal Newport said in his book So Good They Cant Ignore You;

"The only sustained passions are the ones you develop, you get good
at and the ones you see rewards from"

"The things that become your passion are the thing that you've put
the most effort into (and didn't resent in the beginning)

When we work patiently and diligently, we fall in love.

Force yourself to force the skills to come. Pick one skill, get amazing
at it beyond belief. That's the hardest part. Passion is a side-effect of
mastery

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Heres my advice for building a successful (and fulfilling) career;

1. Decide your market - what industry will it be? (list of industries)

Work changes, your industry does NOT. Life is far too short to
become highly knowledgeable about more than 2 domains of
expertise

2. What skills will you master? Focus on skills that are difficult, high-in demand
and centered around your strengths

It will ensure youre working in an area you can

create your own passion by having an edge
over others, youll have few competitors
(higher barrier of entry) and people are
actually going to pay you for it.

3. Define "good" for your skill-level; SET BENCHMARKS to reach!

4. Deliberately stretch yourself to improve your expertise (especially

knowledge workers)

5. Diligent, daily practice to reach mastery

Dont focus on passion, dont focus on talent, dont focus on money but focus
on the mastery of difficult, in-demand skills build around your strengths.

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#3) Get In Great Shape

Get a weight-lifting routine in place. Your body is the best investment you can
ever make, especially when youre young and your testosterone is still high - it's
the only thing you know for sure you'll always use.

Its great for building muscle, bone mass, stamina, confidence and performance
in all other areas of your life.

and youll look good too. Its more than just a benefit;

Overall, good-looking people are treated better, are assigned with more positive
character traits and get more opportunities in their life. ( also; see step 17)

Some would argue this isn't fair but beauty is largely related to gene strength
and fertility. They give us a clear indicator of health, status, education level,
intelligence and ambition.

It is your main "market value". Getting in great shape is in your best interest.

How?

Running & weightlifting are my recommendations. Skip all the

ineffective/inefficient crap that doesn't get you where you want to go.

Exercising shouldn't be fun - it should be effective.

Getting in great shape has two basic components;

Losing weight
Building muscle

Losing Weight
For losing weight I'd recommend a ketogenic diet (1, 2) whilst staying in a caloric
deficit (meaning you eat less calories than your daily maintenance calories)

The ketogenic diet is based on the premise that humans weren't evolutionary
designed to function on so many carbohydrates. (since in the Paleolithic era -
carbs were available only seasonally).

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But as we know; In our attempts to supply more food in a cheaper and faster
way, weve messed up our natural eating patterns completely.

It works like this; (simplified)

Your body mainly uses carbs (pasta, rice, sugars, ... ) OR fats (butter, fatty meats,
oils, ...) for energy.

If carbs are available, your body will use those first.

If carbs are not available your body will to start to break down the ingested and
stored fats to provide energy.

As a byproduct your liver will start to produce ketones.

When your level of ketones is high enough, your brain will start oxidizing these for
energy. You'll effectively get your energy from fats and won't need
carbohydrates any longer.

And when you arent eating enough fats to satisfy the demand, your body will
start tapping into your stored reserves. Which results in fat-loss.

TA-DAA: Fat-loss

This is a metabolic state called "ketosis"

What mainstream nutrition advice recommends is that you simply cut calories
(mainly from fats which is stupid since these are essential to your body and
carbs are not) When you do this your body will go into a "starvation mode" and
will desperately hold on to your fat reserves as it is a stressor on your body.

Cut out most carbs (especially sugar)

I'm all for simplicity & convenience so I'd recommend you only eat three things,
three times a day.

Steak (200g)
Eggs (4 whole)
Broccoli (300grams)

Thats the most basic ketogenic diet youll ever find.

However; make sure you don't go over your protein requirements as your body
will convert the excess protein into carbs again.

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Be sure to use a keto-calculator to define your exact amounts (yeah, weighing

will provide you better results - sorry)

In-between meals you shouldnt snack. Fasting & feasting is a more natural
eating pattern for humans. Additionally, eating a high-protein, high-fat diet will
make you feel satiated for a longer period of time. If you need snacks; try hard-
boiled eggs, nuts or pieces of meat.

The initial "switching period" will be the worst - meaning your body (enzymes) will
need to adapt to the completely new type of diet. Your body will need to switch
gears to run on fat instead of carbs. This will require a switching period in which
youll feel tired, lethargic (aka crap)

This is called the keto-flu

This faze might last from 1 day to a week, depending on the glucose/glycogen
levels remaining in your body. Here are some tips to speed it up;

Eat only animal protein, such as meat and eggs.

Use medium-chain triglyceride (MCT) oil.
Increase the fat in your diet so you eat more than 65 percent of
your calories from fat.
Use coconut oil as a supplement.
Combine a very low-carbohydrate diet (and even fasting) with long
periods of high intensity training. For example: Sprints & weightlifting

My Recommendation

I'd just start with a 2-day fast (meaning you don't eat anything for two days) and
on the second day you go for a hour long run to deplete all your remaining
glycogen stores. (that has worked every time for me)

I realize this is an extreme diet. If you slip back into bad habits Id recommend
switching over to a Paleolithic diet first in gradual steps (See step 22)

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Building Muscle
For building natural muscle I recommend a resistance workout, 3-4 times a week
incorporating heavy compound movements. Download Free Workout Plan + The
Workout Guide

Stick to 6-8 repetitions for 4-5 sets per exercise. Keep your workouts under 75
minutes. Rest one minute between sets (use a timer)

Here's the only exercises you should do;

Barbell Squat (Front & Back)

Bench-press
Barbell Deadlift
Barbell/Cable Row
Standing Barbell Overhead Press
Pull-ups & Dips
(Bicep Curls & Tricep Extensions for fun)

Here are my two favorite workout programs. The first is a 3-day full-body workout.
The second is a 4-day upper-body/lower-body split. Switch them up each 5
weeks to change the pace/add variety.

3-Day Full Body (3 times a week)

Exercises Repetitions

Barbell Back Squat 10,8,6,6, 6

Barbell Deadlift 10,8,6,6, 6

Incline DB Chest Press 10,8,6,6, 6

Standing Barbell Shoulder Press 10,8,6,6, 6

Dips 10,8,6,6, 6

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Pull-ups 10,8,6,6, 6

4-Day Split

Day 1 - Upper Heavy

Bench Press 5x6

Cable fly 5x6

Cable Row 5x6

Barbell Curl 5x8

Rope Tricep Pushdown 5x8

Day 2 - Lower Heavy

Back Squat 5x6

(decompression hangs for your spine) /

Deadlift 5x6

Barbell Lunges 5 x 10

Machine Hamstring Curl 5x6

Standing Calf 5 x 20

Day 3 - Rest

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Day 4 - Upper Heavy

Bench Press 5x6

Dumbbell Fly 5x6

Lat Pull-down 5x6

Dumbbell Shoulder Press 5x6

Front raises 5x6

Pull-ups ss dips 5 x 10

Day 5 - Lower Heavy

5x6

Back Squat

(decompression hangs for spine)

Barbell Deadlift 5x6

Horizontal Leg Press 5x6

Stiff legged Deadlift (Barbell) 5x6

Seated Calf Raises 5 x 20

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For building muscle Id recommend a high-carbohydrate, high-protein and

moderate fat diet as opposed to a ketogenic/paleo diet.

(For optimal health Id recommend a ketogenic diet however. Take in mind;

looking healthy and being healthy arent the same things)

You need to be in a caloric surplus (meaning you need to eat more calories in a
day than your body uses) if you are looking to gain muscle. You will need to
calculate your TDEE (Total daily energy expenditure) and eat about 20% more
than that for optimal muscle gain whilst minimizing the fat you store in your body.

If you want to take it more seriously, you can also calculate your macro-nutrient
requirements for optimal results! If you work out decently and eat a surplus of
calories consistently, you will grow. No doubt about that.

To make it really easy for you, Ive included a link where you can easily calculate
everything -> here.

Its also best to limit saturated fat when on a high carbohydrate diet (which can
be found in animal meats, butter and dairy products) and avoid trans-fat
altogether (which is mainly found in fried foods). You need to eat some form of
saturated fat but only about 1/3 of your total fat intake per day should come
from saturated fat. The other two-thirds should come from mono & poly-
unsaturated fats.

If you are really serious about gaining some serious mass (naturally) you should
consider ditching bad habits like smoking and excessive drinking. Smoking hurts
your cardiovascular endurance and constricts arteries which in turn limits the
supply of nutrients and oxygen to your muscles, hindering its growth. Smoking
also suppresses your appetite which isnt a good thing since youll be needing
those extra amount of calories to repair your body.

Drinking alcohol lowers your natural production of growth hormone and

testosterone. Two key components in building muscle. Im not saying you cant
enjoy a few cold ones once in a while with your friends but if you are really
serious about building strength and size its best to skip on it altogether.

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#4) Learn Faster & Memorize More

Self-education is the most important thing you can should be doing with your
spare time. It allows you to simulate the future and avoid mistakes others have
made before. In this way you can stand on the shoulders of giants by tapping
into the collective knowledge of great minds.

Yet in school we've been conditioned that learning is boring and unrewarding -
cramming in countless pages of useless junk to regurgitate on tests.

This mentality is bad.

Additionally weve never learned how to learn optimally.

How Do You Learn Better?

I've put together a better way;

Theres three main parts to absorbing information optimally. These are;

Acquisition (initial learning)

Retention (storing of the material in your long-term memory)
Recalling (utilizing whats stored when appropriate)

Ive developed for myself a method that Ive compiled from several different
sources to find a way in which I can combine these three ingredients. I call it
SMART-Learning

You should find what works best for you and create your own system to become
a polymath trough life-long learning.

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1) State
The first thing youll want to check when youre learning something new is how
youre feeling. Assessing your state before you do constructive work is key in
absorbing the information optimally.

Am I feeling awake & clear?

o If not: Put on (loud) music, do 20 push-ups and drink four glasses of
cold water. If this still isnt working. Take a 20 minute power-nap & try
again
Am I multitasking? -> Stop. Multitasking never works as your brain will just
keep switching back and forth between tasks.
Are all controllable distractions removed? (cell-phones/email alerts/)

Next will be asking yourself how you will use this information to practically
improve your life.

Knowledge is useless if not practically applicable to increase your

life quality.
What questions will this material answer?
How much time will I spend on this?
Avoid expanding the work according to the time allotted
(Parkinsons Law) Focus on a time limit instead of a page
count to avoid prioritizing speed over comprehension
Tie a tangible incentive to the activity(ies).
Self-regulation is one of the best ways to sustain positive
behavior. (I use south park episodes, warm baths, buying
books to reward myself for a job well-done. Im sure you can
figure something out)

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2) Map
In the second part youll map out where this piece of information will fit into
your bigger picture. Often we just dive right into the material without really
knowing what were learning about. This makes us lose our overview of the
material fairly quickly.

Start a book by reading the cover, back, contents, introduction chapter and the
conclusion at the back. This way youll get a much better idea of what the book
is about. Then proceed to mark the chapter(s) you estimate will answer the
questions youre having (see part 1)

Read these first Skip the rest.

Who says you have to read a whole book?

We mostly think that by skipping were losing valuable information but much of it
is just filler. Regular non-fiction books contain about 3-4 gold nuggets, but who
would buy a 10-page book for only that
right?

Some say to speed-read books but Ive

found this to be largely ineffective. Id use
speed-reading for skimming only.

It requires you to stop mouthing the words,

stop regressing, dont take notes and read
as fast as possible. Extremely bad tactic
for learning - let alone remembering
anything.

Use a categorized, information archive to

store all your information so you can easily
find it. I personally use Onenote to create
7 different categories where I store all my
notes. Its a cool piece of software that
allows you to store images, text, drawings, excel sheets, audio, links, magical
unicorns and whatnot.

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3) Acquire
Aright, part trs

Code the things you learn by storing it in your memory in different forms, this will
make recalling easier. The information is either memorable or you can make the
information memorable

Create Acronyms (SWOT, NATO, SMART)

Create Visuals (drawings, infographics, symbols,... )
Memory Palace
Color
Use different colored markers whilst reading to code the things youre
learning. Make up your own code. When reading books I like to use yellow
for key ideas, orange for new words, pink for quotes.
Use Metaphors/Analogies
Mind maps

4) Repeat
Alright, whats next?

Now you have this huge archive its time to distill the
most practical advice in an organized, coded fashion
in OneNote so all you need to do it to rehearse it
regularly to keep it fresh in your mind.

Synapses grow stronger by frequent usage &

spreading in time.

Use recall (simply look away and see what you

remember) to test the practical information youve
stored.

Repetition is key.

I personally put everything into an essential archive

and try to review this weekly to keep the most
important information fresh in my mind.

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5) Teach
They say the best way to learn something is by teaching it to others. (Like Im
doing with this ebook)

Find out what your best learning style is and figure out how you can convey your
message in an understandable way for the persons youre teaching. Maybe

Just find a way to easily teach the things youve acquired to others and itll be
stored in your mind forever.

Alright, A quick re-cap;

1. Define Your State

Are You Alert & Focused?
Whats Your Why? (Questions & Motivation)
Set A Time Limit & Incentive/Reward
2. Map Your Big Picture
Skim & Skip (Speedreading)
Read Front, Back, Contents, Intro & Conclusion
Categorize In OneNote
3. Acquire The Information
Prioritize Chapters
Code
Take Notes (Linear & MindMaps)
4. Repeat The Essentials
Condense most practical
Review regularly
5. Teach It To Others
Learning style

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#5) Do Meaningful Work

Life is empty if we don't at least do one activity we care about. Viktor Frankl says
we find meaning in people or work that can push us even through the most
difficult of circumstances.

We're human plants, we don't really care about improving beyond our
basic needs (food, security, sex). (See step 20)

By doing so weve become detached from direction since our instincts are no
longer telling us what to do in order to survive (Survival is pretty much
guaranteed)

Lack of meaning in peoples' life is actually the main cause of boredom,

addiction, depression, aggression and even suicide. It's being replaced by the
will to experience pleasure (escapism) or the will to acquire power. Which are
both dysfunctional.

How?

Find meaning in work or people. Write a blog, make videos, do volunteering,

raise a family, teach others, ... . What you find meaningful changes over time,
just pick something you find important right now.

What if you cant find your purpose?

It's OK that you haven't found meaning in your life. It's not set in stone and varies
over the years. So stop beating yourself up for not knowing your "life's purpose":
that one thing that would make everything "perfect".

It doesn't exist.

Purpose is not an event but a process that evolves through trial and error. If you
haven't yet found meaning in your life, just choose one thing that seems
important for now. Whether this is giving some time to charity, spending some
extra time with the family or working on that book that's going to revolutionize
the world (hh)

"There is no easy formula for determining right and wrong

livelihood, but it is essential to keep the question alive" - Sam Keen
Experiment, adjust and re-define.

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#6) Record Your Life

Keep a record of your life. It will give you as Daniel Kahneman calls it; " memory
happiness ". Whether this is in pictures or a journal.

Personally ? I keep both.

If you believe your life is worth living (and you should) - keep track of it.

It adds tremendous value to your life in retrospect; It allows you to see & fix
recurring problems, record the progress you've been making and how you need
to adjust your life for optimal results.

I recommend doing a daily reflection in the evening and a weekly evaluation.

How?

I'd recommend keeping a hand-written paper journal. Here are some tips;

Write before 9PM (set a timer) I found personally that my mind starts to shut
down after 9PM and I start writing gibberish in my journal.
Just Write Something. The most important thing when it comes to journaling
is to make it a consistent habit. Whenever you feel like you dont really
want to write down anything, do it anyway. Just make it short.
Have A List Of Question (If you don't know what to write about)

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Daily Reflections
What good did I do today?
What have I produced today? What have I consumed?
What did I learn today?
How have I grown today? In what ways has my life improved? What's
going GREAT?
What were my character flaws? How did I treat others?
What will I do tomorrow? (3-4 important actions to plan your day ONE main
project)
Am I getting trapped in too much routine? Am I letting loose too much?

Weekly Evaluations
Am I getting weaker or stronger?
Who am I trying to be? (See step 16)
What are my current character flaws & what is the solution?

What are my goals? (See step 13)

Where am I now? Health? Financially? Socially/romantically?
What's working (do more of this) & what isn't working (do less of this)?
What are my top 3 actions I need to take right now to get closer? (Am I
focused?)
Am I making the right decisions for the long term? What will I regret when I'm
80?

Re-prioritize reading list (Whats the next thing I should be reading?)

Am I taking enough quality relaxation? (step 18)
Am I ENGAGED enough? (See step 10)
Am I pushing myself hard enough? Am I pushing myself too hard?

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#7) Find A Flow Activity

We all have our unique activities in which we can lose our self. The point in
which we are totally immersed in the task at hand and where we lose track of
time. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes these as;

Activities with a clear set of goals which require appropriate

responses and give you immediate feedback on your work.
We waste too much time watching TV, surfing Facebook or going out drinking -
it's getting downright ridiculous. Yet we rarely enter this flow-state in those
periods.

Unless one learns how to use his time effectively, more leisure time
does not improve life quality. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
From flow-moments we derive a high sense of satisfaction and emotional well-
being. Everybody should have (at least) one of these. They are jobs/tasks that
we enjoy for the mere sake of doing it, feeling competent at challenging work.

How?

You can combine this by recording your life (step 6). It will show you which
activities give you most joy. By experimentation you can adjust the frequency of
the desired activities (and ditch the ones that suck). Take up some hobbies &
experiment!

Flow can be found in many of your favorite activities; gardening, music, bowling,
exercise , ... . I get this from writing, weightlifting and cooking. They key is finding
something thats optimally challenging for your skill-level. Create something.

Take in mind: It will require an

initial investment to get started
before you can get "into the zone"
as athletes refer to it.

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#8) Manage Your Money

Most people don't go broke because their income is too low (although many
also do). They go broke because they have no clue on how to spend their
money after theyve earned it.

The leading cause of poorness is poor choices MJ Demarco

When our income rises we often elevate our expenses to match it. This is absurd
since investing in better assets (businesses, brands, cash flows, notes, intellectual
property, licenses, inventions, patents, real estate, ) can make us financially
independent down the line.

We buy more furniture, bigger houses, expensive clothes & appliances we hardly
use (blind consumption) , thinking material possessions are going to make our life
better.

They wont - You're being fooled into buying stuff you don't really need by
marketers that couldnt care less about you.

How?

Always spend less than you earn and invest the difference in appreciating assets
until youve build up financial independence. (having enough money coming in
to cover expenses without actively having to work for it)

Also: let a part of your income go straight to an emergency fund. Set up clear
percentages from the beginning. If you save before you spend you'll be thankful
to yourself later down the line. Don't wait to do it as many regret this later in their
life.

Aim for financial independence. Make this your primary aim.

And for gods sake; DO NOT BUY SHIT YOU CANT AFFORD.

If you have to think about it or get a loan, that means you cant afford it.

Many people are frivolous in spending. Not only in money but also time, energy
and health. Calculate the real cost involved instead of just taking into account
the price.

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How many hours do you have to work to pay for this item? (servitude cost)
How much of your health are you sacrificing by eating cheap food?
How much energy will this purchase cost you?

The best way to keep track of your money (imo) is to keep an excel spreadsheet
where you record every single week what you've spent and how much youve
earned. It will keep your eyes on your balance which stops you from splurging
money.

If you're married (which I wouldn't recommend in the first place) and you don't
have divided assets (even worse), discuss the importance of building financial
independence over time with your partner.

If you're in a relationship, every purchase should be justified as a necessity. Buy

food, rent, books, skip on cable TV, get a saver power strip, take cold showers,
cook at home, ...
(Women make more emotional purchases compared to men. There, I said it)

Save before you spend (meaning you set aside a portion of your income every
time) This is especially useful if you can use tax avoidance ( evasion) strategies
combined with a corporate business structure like LLC, c-corp, s-corp, to
reduce total taxation.

Some might find this immoral I do not.

Let financial pressure and lack of comfort be the pain that pushes you to earn
more money but keep the same allotted percentages as your income grows.

The way I do this at the moment is by using my financial template (Download

Here) to fill in each week how much money Ive earned and how much Ive
spent.

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My income goes to two categories;

45% Investment Budget

o Financial freedom/assets/business (9%)
o Savings (9%) never touch. Let pressure build.
o Education (9%) to buy books, courses,
o Fun (9%) going out, friends, activities,
o Emergency fund (9%)
55% Expenses Budget
o Payroll Deductions & legal (taxes, health care)
o Housing <33% should go to housing (mortgage, property taxes,
insurance)
o Utilities (power, water, phone, internet, tv)
o Transportation (cars, insurance & gas)
o Credit Card Payments
o Extra (Specify these!)
o Cash (ATM withdrawals Limit these & specify)
o Nutrition
o Subscriptions

You can adjust the percentages according to your preference.

By keeping track of where your money is going you'll be able to become more
conscious in which areas you're spending/splurging your money and where
there's a leakage you need to fix.

Once a week you can just check your bank statement online (I prefer Sunday)
and fill in all your expenses and incomes from that week (+-10 minutes). This will
make you become hyper-aware of where your precious dollars are going and
redirect them where necessary.

Don't raise the expenses along with your revenue.

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#9) Get Paid For Performance

Don't live the wage-slave existence for the rest of your life. When you get a job,
ask to get paid for performance instead of time. What's the fucking point to get
paid for your time?

The slower you do your work, the more you get paid? What kind of incentive is
that? Its not in the best interest of your boss nor in the best interest of yourself.

It will hardwire your brain to simply get into the slave mentality, never finding a
way to become really independent. It makes us blind to opportunities outside
our regular job - not being able to provide for ourselves as soon as we get fired
from our job. Weve effectively become learned helpless;

The organism has learned that it cannot control the situation and
therefore does not take action to avoid the negative stimulus
We think we're independent when we leave home and get ourselves a secure
job - but we don't. Our boss/job simply replaces the same dependent position
our parents had when we were young.

How?

Ask, simply ask. It's in both of your best interests. Ask your boss to get paid for
performance and ask him how you can improve it so you have more control of
how much money you make.

Heres the template;

Schedule a tte--tte with your boss and ask him straight-out;

"Hey (insert name), I was doing some thinking and have a few considerations on
how I may be more productive at my job. Do you have some time to talk this
over?"

Recommend a two-week trial and end with "Does that sound reasonable?. Not
only will it be in your favor and their favor. Youll feel excited and rewarded (and
might even get a better pay out of it if your results are up to par)

Dont retire on the job by becoming a wage-slave. If youre not doing an

entrepreneurial gig (and you should!) you should always ask for performance
payments.

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#10) Stay ENGAGED In Life

Routine is great; Reading, waking up early, networking, flow activities and going
to the gym. It' s the small things that all add up over time and provide the results
you're looking for. Compound effect

But it's boring as hell.

You literally stop being "engaged" in life and start running on auto-pilot. You
dont want to become a plant-zombie. Right?

You NEED novelty/excitement to find balance between stimulation and sleep.

If you dont - youll become neurally adapted to your environment and youll
stop feeling alive. This gets increasingly important as you grow older since most
experiences get repetitive as we get older.

Meaning we dont store many new experiences after thirty since our brain
simply doesnt register them anymore. This will make our lifetime seem shorter

Enjoyment of life comes from varied life experiences.

How?

I believe in comfort challenges and novelties that really push your limits. I
regularly do social challenges like shouting in public, running half-naked
throughout town, also approaching attractive women has been a big one for
me in the past (still is)

Otherwise Im picking up new skills or doing activities Im afraid to do. They point
towards the areas we really need to grow.

Im talking about keeping the mind active by continuously pursuing new,

cognitive/physical/social/financial undertakings that stimulate you into growing
as a human being.

Heres some examples;

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Pick up a new hobby

Write a new book
Build a new website
Change your gym/environment
Shout in public
Lie on the floor of a busy public space for ten seconds
Talk to an attractive girl
Do a handstand in the train station (if you can do one)
Run around town half-naked
Do public speaking
Make a video, upload it to YouTube and publish it on your Facebook
page
Take a cold shower
Travel
Destroy something with explosives
Shave off all your hair (if youre a man)
Go for a run in the rain with very loud music
Take off your shirt in a public space
Write a bucket list and do one activity
Go for a walk barefoot at night
Tell a woman you just met you have a really really small penis
Go for a nighttime swim in a river
Do 10 pushups in a nightclub
Talk to a stranger
Go to a Meetup
Knock at a random house and start a conversation
Do a YES-Man challenge

As we age, the spark we had when we were younger gradually diminishes. We

lose our wonder for the world and get trapped in bad routine

By continuously doing the same repetitive patterns we become habituated to

our environment. We dont spike anymore since we dont register the different
stimuli anymore, making our brains disengage from life.

Even good routine can do this to our brains.

Point being: Do something of the beaten path once in a while. Youre not really
living if you dont feel alive once in a while. Introduce some novelty/excitement.

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#11) Prioritize Your Social Life

Another regret I've seen popping up in many people is that they've prioritized
their job over their friends. Regardless what you do there
should always be some time left to make room for social activities. I'm not telling
you to make this a daily appointment but make it a priority to stay in touch
weekly and meet up at least once each other week with people you genuinely
care about.

Prioritize a great social life. Work will always be there, friends & family will not. If
you dont build up these skills/close circle when youre young youll have a lot
more difficulty as you grow older.

Many relationships don't end because the two parties decide to go their
separate ways but because they die out slowly or don't get put together after a
fight. (especially as we grow older)

This is stupid - If the people are genuinely important (have a criteria for behavior
see step 12) then you must stay in touch with them at all times!

Emotional connections are though - I fucking know. You never know who will stay
and who won't and youll most likely be splitting up ways in you mid-twenties.

THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULDN'T TRY!

Humans are by definition social animals and you'll need strong connections,
some people that will always be there for you when you need them.

How?

Select 2-3 close friends (or any number you find adequate) and find what
youre looking for in each. This can be different for everybody to not feel alone.

You'll need quantitative and qualitative relationships. What this means for you is
something youll have to find through your own experience. If you feel lonely you
need more social contact. If you feel distance/misunderstood you need deeper
social contact

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The two most important factors for strengthening/maintaining friendships are;

Openness
o Talking about stuff that actually matters; Feelings, relationships,
opinions, secrets, concerns, problems, doubts, passions, .
Engagement
o Spending time and taking an effort to meet-up/staying in touch.

STAY IN TOUCH even if you dont feel like it. This is critical.

When you need someone to talk to - there otherwise wont be anyone. Go the
extra mile with the ones you genuinely care about & tell them what they mean
to you (I know this sounds clich, but we all need it at some point)

There's no worse feeling than having to face life alone.

Some need less social interactions, some need more. But we both need some.

Need, not want

Maybe you're quite introverted like me and don't make meeting people
a natural part of your life - then I would recommend picking up a social hobby
(combined with your flow-activity?.)

You know a place where people meet to do an activity together.

It's not about the activity you do but about getting yourself "out there". Make a
social activity part of your monthly/weekly repertoire.

Meetup.com is GREAT for this, just pick some activities and simply show up. Or
find some activities in your city, ask around your family/friends, find some
extracurricular activities in places you already frequent.

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#12) Define Your Demographics & Set

Boundaries
This is the best rule for dating and relationships youll ever get. It'll save you a lot
of heartache and other bullshit.

Boundaries
Set strong boundaries for what behavior you truly accept in your life. Don't
tolerate people who don't treat you well or have hidden agendas, not even for
a second. If people aren't open, honest, respectful nor interested in you; cut
them out completely.

Simply walk away.

Liars, cheaters, low-achievers, energy vampires, people who play games and so-
forth. Remove them from your life completely and practice some self-respect.

You become the average of the five people you surround yourself the most with.
Dont surround yourself with toxic personalities or otherwise low-achievers.

The same principle can be applied in romantic relationships.

I want a girl who says FUCK yeah to me and not a meh, ok.

If a girl runs hot and cold for you, simply forget her completely. It doesn't matter
how hot she is or how good she is in bed. If you arent high up on her list while
she is on yours forget her.

Dont let her play games with you and simply state that clearly. It's either a yes or
no. Ambivalence is a no.

Your own mental sanity and life quality is the most important thing. When she is
ambiguous towards being with you, you should take distance.

Not only does this eliminate the ones that dont want you and the ones that
want to play games - it will also free up time to pursue the girls that are interested
in you.

Practice some self-respect and choose the ones that choose you.

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No longer be strung along by people who aren't that into you. End
all of the headaches. End the wishing and hoping, End the
disappoint and anger that inevitably follows. Start practicing self-
respect. - Mark Manson

Demographics (Dating)
I used to go to wild parties where I would approach women and talk about
topics that interested me; psychology, self-improvement, training, books and
whatnot. Thats the way I thought people got to know each other.

If youve ever been to a nightclub youll realize this didnt work out.. at all.
Rejection upon rejection.

I thought there was something wrong with me - as somehow you aren't a man
in their eyes.

I thought I had to adapt myself so they would like me better. As clearly

everyone was going to nightclubs to meet people. Therefore I became
exponentially more outgoing/excited, talked about stuff I couldn't care less
about and eventually that worked.

But, it wasn't me.

Over the long-term women sense this incongruence and therefore I didnt really
have that much long-term success.

You see, when it comes to sex there are two different biological survival
strategies in this world (also recognized in other animal species);

Extrovert: Increase Reproduction Rate

The low-reactive is the go-getter in the world, always geared to react with the
stimuli provided and can handle more stimulation making him better suited to
accommodate the competing demands on his attention (BIG reason for why
they are so social). He likes to be in highly stimulating environments and will
perform best in those. He gets bored more easily. Hes more aggressive &
outgoing. He has commonly more sexual partners compared to introverts
caused by his gregarious nature.

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Introvert: Increase Survival Rate

The high-reactive has a thinner filter for the world, taking in stimuli more deeply.
These are the ones that could spot danger faster than others. The ones that
observe and process their environment more deeply which enabled them to
avoid many dangers, failures and wasted energy. They process information to
make optimal long-term decisions.

Like attracts like

With selecting your demographics I mean that different types of people hang
out in different types of locations.

If you want to meet women who are more likely to be attracted to you, youll
actually have to go to the places those girls frequent.

I would recommend against meeting women in clubs (especially if youre an

introvert)

In clubs you have so much working against you. Women are extremely high
value (trough social proof) in those locations since every man is trying to score.
The girls are drunk, careless and not interested in any interesting conversation.
Youre getting tired because of the overstimulation and less able to find your
type there.

Literally write down what you're looking for in a girl and ask where that girl would
go to. Pick-up tries to tell you that every girl can become a good relationship
(you can pull anyone - but this is simply not true.)

You dont need to learn pick-up. If you;

Have high self-esteem

A sorted out lifestyle (friends, good job, cool hobbies/interests)
Are courageous (having the balls to go up and say hi & getting physical)
Have social skills (talk to them like any normal human being would)
Look your best (step 17)

Thats all you need.

Women are psychologically attracted by perceived social status (which they

measure through your behavior) and sexually aroused by physically assertive
and sexually forthright men.

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I summarize being attractive like this: Be a normal fucking man with a cool life
(whatever that means to you), always looking your best, strike normal
conversation about things you're interested in and dont be afraid to take what
you want.

No games, no bullshit.

Shes not interested? Than you two are incompatible.

Dont go up to girls with you tail between your legs thinking oh gosh what would
she think of me??? go after her like a hunter, thinking I wonder what shes
like..

After countless times of going out, meeting women and acting out of character
Ive found this to be the best way to attract women who are also into you.

Im just tired of playing games. I love myself simply too much to be kicked
around by girls who arent that interested in me. I suggest you do the same.

Relationships are difficult enough as it is.

You need to match on different areas and position yourself in locations youre
most likely to find those. Not everyone is compatible.

What do you want?

Screen what you want and don't settle for less just because you think sex is
scarce. Being in an emotional dependent relationship just because you can get
cheap sex out of it is freaking empty and sucks you dry in the long-term.

(Not in the fun way)

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#13) Set Goals & Focus Down

Like I said: Since our instincts no longer tell us what we should be doing with our
life we fall into a black-hole pretty much. Days arent short it's just that people do
not know how to fill them.

Why should you be setting goals?

Without a vision of your life youll fall into destructive short-term thinking by
default (seeking stimulation and sedation).
With a clear vision youll always know the best use of your time and energy
so you wont get trapped in other peoples agenda
Further, it allows you to clearly measure your progress over time which in
retrospect adds tremendous value to your life
Successive achievement of your goals gives you a feeling of motivation,
life-control and self-reliance (progressive growth is also a big factor for
happiness)

How to set goals?

I use 5 different steps to formulate my goals and focus on whats important.

Ideal Vision
Start by envisioning how you want your life to look like ideally in all areas of life.
See it as a menu (like in a restaurant) where you can pick basically anything you
want. Think like a child for now
think limitless.

Go over the essentials like your

ideal health, financial situation
and social life. Expand further into
skills/knowledge you want to
master, the way you want your
mind to be, what you want to
contribute and so-on. Pick the
things that excite you the most in
all 7 areas of life

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Mindset: How would your ideal mindset be? How would you behave.
How would the world look like trough your eyes?
Health: What do you want your ultimate physical health to be? Your
body?
Mental: What skills and knowledge do you want to learn in your life?
Social: How do you want your friendships, family relations and love life to
be?
Legacy: How can you combine your skills and interests to leave your mark
on this world?
Wealth: How do you envision your ultimate financial situation?
Energy: What kind of fun experiences do you want to do in your life? What
would you do to relax from the daily struggles of life?

Got that image in your mind? Good!

Now, write down specifically what your ideal day would look like. The house you
live in, the body you see in the mirror, the girl you wake up to, the sun shining
through the window, the scent of fresh coffee which fills up your living room.. .
Basically: Establish an ideal vision of what you want your life/you to look like. How
big you think becomes the launching pad for how high you achieve.

DOWNLOAD MY TEMPLATE

Set Goals
The furthest we can realistically plan into the future is 18 months says
management executive Peter Drucker. So analyze in each of the 7 areas where
you're at right now. And project 18 months into the future and make a
guesstimate to where you want/can be.

Be sure to aim high. Our achievements are directly related to how big we
think. If we aim high we're more likely to put in more effort and get better results.

Shoot for the stars & land on the moon yup!

Furthermore divide these goal up in 18-month, yearly, quarterly, monthly &

weekly goals. Include benchmarks (quantity and quality) and ways to
accurately measure the progress.

Now if youre ambitious you probably have A LOT of ideas about how your ideal
life would look like.

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But clarity doesn't come when EVERYTHING needs to get done or when your to-
do list runs endlessly. Therefore were going to reduce all your goals to your top
three that will have the MOST IMPACT on the quality of your life (Be sure to make
these VERY SPECIFIC).

This is key!

Discard all the rest. Don't make the rest secondary; remove them totally from
your list.

My top three goals at the moment are;

Learning specialized, difficult skills based on my strengths that are high in-
demand (mainly programming & technology repairs atm)
Prioritizing social life by keeping in touch with two close friends and picking
up a social hobby to meet women (kickboxing)
Health (maintaining my training regimen & cooking healthy twice a week)

Off course youll want the nice car, off course youll want the wild sexual
adventures, off-course youll want to master your favorite instrument. But all
thats inessential simply burns away in contrast with the things that really matter.

Theres only One Thing that truly matters most at any given time. One goal that
should get all your attention. Work towards this first thing in the morning (+- 4
hours), everything else is simply a distraction. To achieve an extraordinary result,
you must choose what matters most and give it all the time it demands. This
requires getting extremely out of balance in relation to other work issues

And lets be real here; people all want the same damn things. They want secure
access to resources, good health and an abundance of social relationships
(romantically as well as regular friendships). Basic maslow hierarchy of needs

Prioritize Your Actions

So now weve established the what-part. Now were going to move into the
how-part. You can never really know exactly which actions will take you to
your desired end-goals.

The best way to do this is to simply weigh-off your options and estimate
the highest-leverage actions you can take to reach your goals.

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Just take your most educated guess by analyzing your situation and copying
what others are doing. Trust in the process and adjust it as you go along. As
Steve Jobs said most eloquently;

You cant connect the dots looking forward you can only connect
them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will
somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something: your
gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots
will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow
your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path. Steve
Jobs
So, how do I do it?

I use a method called The Law Of Pareto

It is originally an economic principle that stated that;

80% of your revenue comes from 20% of your customers

It helps to focus on the actions with the highest leverage in achieving your goals.
It can be applied to many things and will make reaching your goals increasingly
efficient.

Basically, youll ask yourself: What are the 20% of actions I can take that will get
me 80% of the desired results?

Note: Theres also a concept called Hyper-Pareto, meaning youll repeat this
process again to become even more focused.

What are the 20% of actions you can take of those 20% that will get me 80% of
the results of the 80% of results? (So basically: 4% of actions that yield 64% of the
results.

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Its fun to experiment with this but the idea is simply this; Fill ALL your time
with high-leverage activities.

Tweaking your site design is cool, updating your Facebook status with a cool
quote you've found, but those are peanuts compared to guest posting or writing
sweet content if youre trying to grow a blog.

Weighing your food, taking supplements, planning your schedule are all great
but pale in comparison to simply cooking twice a week and doing heavy lifts 3-4
times a week.

What are your highest leverage activities?

Set Your Plan

From there start dividing these big, high-leverage
actions into smaller actionable steps over time. Be
sure to include benchmarks (measure points)

Therefore reduce your actions & set benchmarks for;

18-months
Yearly
Quarterly (3 months)
Monthly
Weekly

Execute
So now youll have filled up your week planning with a load of high-leverage
activities. So how do we efficiently do the actual work?

Plan your ONE highest-leverage activity first thing in the morning and execute it
until it is done. Everything else besides that ONE THING is simply a distraction.

NO email
NO Facebook
NO people interrupting
NO cleaning
NO nothing else

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(unless these are your one thing)

Just nice clean. constant focus. Aaaaaaah, feels great doesnt it?

Theres no force greater than a well-focused mind

The way I execute daily is by choosing three to four big things with one primary
focus for my day (I usually do this the night before). I write them down on my
whiteboard and take a picture of them when I leave the house.

I focus all my energy and time on those 3-4 tasks and let the other
chips/interferences of life fall where they may.

Like Stephen Covey said in his book 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People; Focus
on your Big Rocks first.

Timing
Note: Schedule a block of time for your activities & keep them short! Two reasons
for this;

If you give yourself too much time youll just end up expanding your work
(Parkinsons Law)
If you give yourself too little time you wont be able to finish the task

Youll learn how to do this more efficiently by practicing and experimenting.

Notes
Note that your vision will change continuously over time and therefore the whole
hierarchy will change. The goals Ive set at the beginning of this year have
become highly inaccurate now and therefore I recommend to actively review
this process about once a month. If you feel like youre going off-track theres no
need to wait a month and you must do it sooner.

Furthermore youll still have some routine tasks that are low-leverage but need to
get done anyway, things like; doing the dishes, washing your clothes, cleaning
your house, running errands, cooking, .

If you can afford it, I suggest you delegate low-leverage tasks to a maid. If not;
Batch them all together in one day/afternoon, (whilst listening to audio-books If
its not too dangerous)

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Re-cap;

1) Vision
Create Your Ideal Vision For Your Life In All Areas
2) Goals
Set Your 3 Highest Impact Goals
3) Prioritize
Determine Your Highest-Leverage Actions
4) Plan
Divide Your Actions Over Time And Set Benchmarks
5) Execute
Pick 3-4 Big Rocks And Annihilate Them Accordingly

Use My Template

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#14) Ignore The 99%

Dont listen to people who dont have the results or knowledge youre looking
for.

Many people think they know what theyre talking about, yet most do not.

Don't listen to someone who thinks they do (even my advice could be harmful -
what do I know, I'm a 20 year old college student). Especially as you grow older
you notice that authority figures you used to look up to like teachers, your
parents, older friends and so-forth are actually also flawed human beings
struggling their way through life.

Tai Lopez recommends to ignore 99%(!) of people in your life since they don't
really know what theyre talking about. But when you find that one person with
the results and knowledge you're looking for, listen to everything he says.

Most people's opinions are simply reflections of social bias. Look for references
(the results you want) and signs of expertise before taking advice.

Don't trust health advice from a personal trainer that's overweight.

Don't take money advice from someone's who's constantly struggling
financially.
Don't listen to relationship advice from someone who doesn't have a
(girl)friend(s)

Select the people you listen to carefully.

Go straight to the top of people that can give you advice and cut out the
average.

This is a BIG reason why I'm so fond of books. It allows us to learn from the
greatest and copy their relative successes by adopting their thinking patterns.

Don't listen to broke/unhappy/alone know-it-alls when it comes to advice. Simply

run away as fast as possible.

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#15) Develop Social Skills

Social relationships are tough Or at least for me theyve always been that
way

Therefore Ive made for myself a checklist I keep in my mind when dealing with
people. I consider these essentials rules that govern human interactions.

Although I dont always apply them as well as I should it has definitely made me
more aware of how I treat others.

1) Empathic Listening
Listen first before responding

Weve stopped listening to others. The first step in not being a non-judgmental
asshole is by listening to others. Mostly we subscribe other people with our own
autobiography without even trying to see through their eyes.

Were so quick to judge and react to others without taking into account their
views.

The second step is understanding others by reflecting what theyre saying and
how theyre feeling about that. Literally try to see the world through their eyes.

Hey Im having this problem with my family, my dad constantly comes home drunk and I
dont really want to go home anymore since he yells constantly and hits me sometimes.

You feel the situation is getting out of hand right and dont really know what to do?

Content & Emotion

Different lives create different beliefs. Yet we use our own paradigms as the
measuring stick for others. If theres only one thing you should take away from
social skills is simply listening attentively to others.

Stephen Covey even states that humans need to be understood as much as

they need to breathe.

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2) Integrity
Have an alignment in your words, thoughts & actions. Strive to be consistent in
this.

I think integrity contains two things;

The words you speak are the truth (being honest & open)
You make the truth align with your words (making & keeping
commitments)

Honesty & Openness

Having duplicitous interests, hidden agendas & power games skip on that stuff. (know
how to recognize that behavior in others but dont deal in it yourself). Honesty &
openness is simply the best long-term strategy for building up trust.

How to be honest?

The only thing that comes out of your mouth is the truth

Simple.

How to be open?

Put your thoughts out there.

Open up & talk about how you feel, what you really think, what you find
important and how you look at life. This is difficult and youll need a strong sense
of self-esteem (step 16) to pull it off. Its much easier to just go with the flow and
stay quiet instead of standing for things you believe in.

Openness is the most important building block for trust.

Why talk about the latest game of thrones episode? What new item you bought
or what Susy was wearing at a party?
Who the fuck cares.

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1. Express yourself and talk about stuff that actually matters. Talk about
your/their passions, emotions, goals, health, problems, relationships, progress
and whatnot. Skip on the superficial bullcrap that isnt serving
anyone. Actually get to know people
2. Question other peoples behavior, never judge it. Ask why they behave
the way they do and maybe youll learn something from it too. Also:
If someones opinion clashes with your view simply question them about it.
Dig deep. Dont tear it down but inquire why they think that way.
3. Dont sugar-coat reality to spare feelings. Its best practice to be straight-
forward and honest even though this is more difficult. I believe being honest is
more important than being kind.

Honey, does my butt look fat in this dress?

Yes, yes it does.

Making & Keeping Commitments

Simply keeping and respecting promises to yourself and others is one the best
ways to build up trust.

When you make a promise stick to it.

Thats it

I dont care what other priorities come up. There are no valuable excuses
unless its really important (and then still should you be apologizing sincerely.)

When you say something youre responsible for the consequences. Your word is
your honor. Your word is a mark of credibility, reliability as a man.

It should mean something to you. Even if you dont really care about the person,
do it anyway for the sake of consistency. Unless theres a really good reason you
cant keep your word you simply do what you say youre going to do.

Dont make promises you cant keep (hint: marriage)

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3) Engagement
Make an effort to stay in touch

When were getting older most friendships from high-school/college slowly start
to dissolve. Not because weve gotten into a fight or because we started to
dislike that person but because we didnt put in an active effort to preserve the
bond.

Relationships are though and your ways are probably going to split up in your
mid/late twenties. Take some time to select what traits youre looking for in your
closest friends and go the extra mile for them.

Send them an extra text, schedule/plan a cool activity, leave a comment on

their Facebook update, whatever.

Make it a priority to stay in touch weekly and meet up at least once each other
week with people you genuinely care about. If you dont prioritize your social life
when youre younger youll have a MUCH harder time meeting people as you
get older.

4) Apologize Sincerely
When youve done something to harm the relationship be the first one to make
it up. Simple as that. I know its difficult to stay objective during emotional times
but always be the one to take the first step to apologize for the conflict. Even if
you believe it wasnt your fault.

Shit happens; you sometimes say things you didnt want to say, you forgot
something that meant the world to somebody else or maybe you just dont
understand what that other person is getting all emotional about. People are
incredibly emotional at times and irrational.

Hey, were all flawed who cares about the cause?

If you care about the bond you had, dont let it drag on and infect you
relationship even further. Nothing hurts like open wounds. Nobody likes conflict
yet both parties are too stubborn to come to terms. You be the one to initiate.

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5) Remember & Use Names

Remember people

Peoples name are their identity. If you remember their

names theyll realize theyre valuable to you. Imagine a
person you havent seen for over a year who addresses
you by your first name and is able to pick up on recent
activities in your life. How cool would that be?

Very cool

How?

I (used to) keep a log of some of the people I meet in my cell-phone and whom
I might run into later. I put their names in different categories based on the place
Ive met them (I might also add some extra traits that make them stand out).

Like so;

When Im waiting in line, long toilet breaks (veggies have lots of fiber) or am
otherwise occupied in a menial task I check the lists and visualize the face that
belongs to the name.

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6) Focus on Them (FORM)

Talk about things that interests others

Whats peoples favorite subject?

Porn

Themselves.

Talk about their interests and their life most of the time.

Heck, you dont even have to talk I rarely do. I mostly just listen and ask
questions.

If youre looking for important subjects in other peoples life, try FORM;

Family
Occupation (work, passion, hobbies, )
Relationships
Money

7) Attend the little things

Think about the little acts of kindness in someones life.

Its mostly the small things we remember the most as they are so exceptional.

Specific thanking for a task theyve done for you.

Appreciate people who thank you for a task youve done for them
It was nothing
Im glad I was able to help you with that
Little gifts
Leave notes
Remember special occasions (birthdays, marriages, )
Ive recently slept on a dorm room of a friend and upon leaving I left a little note
with a beer on his desk. Now, two months later he slept on my dorm room and
left a humongous amount of tea on my counter-top.

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Its not an accident he remembered.

8) Help
Help them out

People want to advance in their life. They want more money, better
relationships, better health or any other thing that might improve their life
quality. Try to find an area you can help the person youre talking to with.
An area youre an expert in perhaps?

This doesnt have to be a major time-consumption. Again, dont make promises

you cant keep (step 2).

You dont have to make huge efforts to help people out who are struggling with
something. Try to help them with minimal effort from your part but with something
that could mean the world to someone else.

Low investment high perceived value.

Heres some good examples;

Introduce two connections

Recommend a good habit
Give them good advice or send them a helpful article
Recommendations for products that might help them
Constructive feedback & encouragement
Ask a question about their life (show interest)
Gifts (physical/digital products/newsletters/checklists)
Info-graphs/images

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9) Be interesting/insightful
Intelligence is a very desirable trait in our information-society. If you can give
people an aha-moment in whatever field youre more likely to be ascribed
higher in their book and be remembered.

Further reading: How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

10) Be Positive
Control your emotions
Try to smile at people Even a cheap grin is better than a sour face.

People love to be around optimistic people who improve their life quality. We
gravitate towards positivity in difficult times.

Depressed or neurotic people act like a natural repellent.

How?
Our emotions are controlled largely by the things we choose to focus on, which
spreads out into our behavior, body language and our words.

Try to control your emotional state at all costs by choosing what to focus on.
Even if you dont feel like it. Demand of yourself to be happy, maybe not
because circumstances allow you to but because you deserve to be happy.

Dont ask yourself questions that will bring down your state but ask questions that
will lift you up;

Why do I suck this much at x?

Whats going great about x?

Your brain will come up with a valid answer to whatever question you ask it.
If you dont want stupid answers, stop asking stupid questions.

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When your phonograph is playing music you dont like, you do not
try to force it to do better. You do not use effort or will power. You do
not bang the phonograph around. You do not try to change the
music itself. You merely change the record being played and the
music takes care of itself.

Use the same technique on the music that comes out of your own
internal machine. Dont pit your will directly against the music. As
long as the same mental imagery (the cause) occupies your
attention, no amount of effort will change the music (the result).
Instead, try putting a new record on. Change your mental imagery,
and the feelings will take care of themselves. Maxwell Maltz
(Psycho-Cybernetics)

Dont fake it either if it doesnt feel natural just give them a friendly nod.

If you cant be nice just make sure youre not a total asshole

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#16) Build Confidence

Our self-image is the main foundation on which we build our life. The roots of
our being.

Basically what confidence is, is a perception of value. It are the references we

use to back-up our self-worth. From what Ive found and researched, there are
two different types of confidence we use interchangeably to boost our self-
worth.

Core-confidence and situational-confidence (Also interchangeably referred to

as self-esteem and self-confidence respectively in this book)

Self-Esteem means feeling valuable, unconditionally in any situation. It

comes from living up to the image of your ideal self. Living in
congruence with what you value most. These are internal valuating
conditions you set yourself.
Self-Confidence means feeling competent at a certain activity. Its the
trust you have in your own capacities at a particular activity compared to
others. Your self-confidence is derived trough social comparison. These are
external valuating conditions provided by others.

You need both to feel at ease in any situation although

self-esteem is probably the most important one to build
up first. If you cant live with the man you face daily in
the mirror youll know that something has got to give.

However most confuse their self-confidence for their self-

esteem. They base their identity on their possessions,
looks, popularity and so-on.

Society (particularly the media) has conditioned us that these are the
determining factors for success and that without them were not allowed to
feel valuable.

Which is just straight up BS.

When the hot super-model reaches old age, when the rich banker encounters
an economic recession and when the party-animal loses his friends, their self-
worth plummets. Their sense of security (their anchor) simply dissolves.
It all comes down to what way you measure your self-worth.

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Building Self-Esteem (Being)

Your self-esteem comes from living up to your ideal image. The psychological
ideal of yourself.

As I said; most people measure their self-esteem, their self-worth in the same
measure as they do with their self-confidence; trough social comparison. They
measure their worth in contrast with others in their wealth, looks, popularity,
religion, family, job and so-forth.

But these factors are often not within our control and subject to change. And
therefore their confidence and internal security is subject to change.

This will make us continuously dependent on comparison to others to retrieve

some sense of self-worth.

Therefore, base your self-esteem on factors that are ;

Under your control

Not subject to change

Self-esteem needs to be constant

How?

Take a step back and visualize for yourself how the ideal you would be like.

You can find more about what you truly value in life by visualizing yourself at
your own funeral. How would you want your friends remember you? Your
parents? Your colleagues? Your children?

Now after you've established this ideal image you should write it down Writing
creates the necessary neural processes to store that image in your mind. Without
the image or the blueprint firmly established, you cant grow into it!

Out of that blueprint distill the five most important values that person embodies
and write those down also.

Heres a List Of Values you can select from

The values Ive picked for myself are; Intelligence, Morality, Sensitivity, Strength &
Calmness

See how the focus is shifted to actions/values that are under my control?

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I can choose to be intelligent by reading books and by becoming self-

educated,
I can choose to treat people with integrity and honesty
I can choose to be caring for men, women and children
I can choose to be strong by exercising willpower and self-discipline
I can choose to be calm by breathing right and meditating.

They are all under my control.

However..

I cant always choose to be rich

I cant always choose to be good looking
I cant always choose to have great results with women
I cant always choose to have a huge penis

So I just let those criteria go - See the difference?

Reread these traits daily and live according to the psychological image youve
created for yourself.

Visualize yourself as already being this person (step 21)

Fake it until youve build up enough references (build up enough neural

pathways) that you actually are that person. And one day youll have
effectively rewired your brain and this new you has become the real you.

We become what we want to be, by consistently being what we

want to become each day Richard G. Scot

Building Self-Confidence (Doing)

The ways self-confidence works is compared to self-esteem really easy
(maybe even cheap); social comparison.

We compare our resources, looks, health, whatever to generate contrast in

social scenarios. That's the way where we psychologically derive our sense of
self-worth.

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How to turn this into your favor?

1. Become more competent (mainly social skills and performance in a

certain field is important)
2. Primarily compare yourself on areas you excel at (make the rest less
important)
3. Be delusional (everyone is)

Its ok to be delusional about your self-worth in the beginning. Be proud, maybe

even a tad arrogant. No-one is going to take you serious if you don't think highly
of yourself. People see in us what we see in our self.

There are many low-achievers who feel great about themselves although they
arent particularly competent at anything. But see heres the thing;

They think they do.

And thats all that truly matters, really.

It's in my opinion better to be a delusional fool and be happy than an unhappy

realist.

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#17) Look Your Best, Every Day

Clothing
Dress your best every single day. Buy clothes that fit & match your
personality. Wear the nice shirt over and over, buy the same clothing if it makes
you feel/look great.

Doesn't matter.

A basic way to get started is to buy brown leather shoes, a brown leather belt, a
brown (leather) jacket and the same gear in black. Differentiate with cool shirts
and designer jeans of different washes with the brown and black "set." It makes
dressing so easy. Everyone looks good in jeans and t-shirts and a leather vest.

With this you shouldnt have to worry about color coding since its just jeans and
t-shirts. Simple and timeless. If that doesnt really fit who you are theres always
the option to expand further an get some extra accessories, shirt prints or outfits.

Just keep in mind;

The most important thing about clothing is that they fit. Never buy something
that doesn't fit 100%, it's never a bargain. Also; opt for quality over quantity

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2: Mix & Match And Become Bad-ass Like Hugh Grant
1: Get Basic Cotton Shirts; Sleeves/Sleeveless, Crew-Neck/V-Neck
, Print/No-Print
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Hygiene
Get a basic hygiene routine set up in the morning and evening. I shouldnt even
be telling you this. This includes;

1. Taking a shower regularly (I recommend daily)

1. The soap doesnt matter - all soaps smell great really
2. Washing/cleaning your face with warm water (twice a day morning &
evening)
3. Shave and/or trim (Once, I prefer mornings)
1. Optional: Scrub to clean pores after shaving - This can be done
1/2 times a week with a grainy scrub (Honey & sugar or Baking soda
& water can do the trick)
4. Moisturize (After youre done with step 3)
5. Brush teeth, floss and use a tongue scraper for better breath (twice a day
morning & evening)
1. Optional: Whiten your teeth with lemon juice & baking soda, 1/3
times a week
6. Apply deodorant under your armpits & cologne (Go easy on the cologne:
two on the wrists, rubbed together. One on each side of the neck. One on
your shirt. 5 total)

Extra
Get a clean, modern haircut every 3-4 weeks
Manscaping: Shave your crotch, chest & back if you have an athletic
body itll come out much better
Wash your hands after bathroom visits (great against diseases)
Trim your nails

Good to go.

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#18) Quality Relaxation

Reward yourself after a long day/week of work. By rewarding the behavior you
want in your life youll condition your brain to facilitate that in the future. Often it
takes quite a while before constructive habits like reading, working out, writing,
eating healthy start to pay off and therefore its actually so difficult to stick with
them.

Our efforts dont seem to be going anywhere. So the solution to this problem is to
simply self-regulate your behavior by adding additional bonuses after a day of
hard work.

Also; you can t keep running indefinitely Especially under a heavy physical
and mental training regimen. Youll have to put in some extra gas in your tank at
some point.

Take a warm bad, find a hobby, read a great book, pick a movie you truly
enjoy or just hang out with some close friends. Heres some more cool options to
reduce stress and reward yourself.

Meditation -> Great way to relax/clear your mind and increase awareness.
Shouting (in pillow) -> Release locked up tension by yelling your brains out
Stretching and Yoga
Listening to calming music (I like deep house & trance lately)
Raising body temperature (warm bath, heated pillow, hot shower,
blanket)
Conscious breathing -> breathing consciously will lower the heart rate and
relax your mind. 5 counts in, 5 pause, 5 out to lower cortisol levels
Long walks to empty your mind (exposing yourself to sunlight)
Have sex/dry orgasms
Write to clear out the clutter in your mind. Any hobby that doesnt require
too much physical or mental effort will suffice too.
Drinking a warm beverage (tea, chocolate milk, )
Reading books (especially fantasy/biographies are great in the evening)
Plan out a vacation!
Deliberately slow down. Slow down your pace in the street, chew slower,
look around on the street. Look at the sun, the ground, the trees around
you and the cars passing by.
Communicate with your friends and family. Have a game/movie night.

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Laughter therapy -> watch comedy, cartoon, series whatever can make
you smile. Never let a day pass by without a genuine laugh.
Take some time off. Dont take calls, open emails, think about it or talk
about it.
Massage
Acupuncture
Sleeping

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#19) Do A Morning Ritual

A morning ritual is basically a series of routine actions you do from the moment
you wake up that set you up for a GREAT day! It makes sure we stay productive,
energetic and focused throughout the day.

Many people, unconsciously have made their own morning ritual that sets
them up for disaster without really knowing it.

For Example;

They might press the snooze button once before they get out of bed
They drink a 7 cups of coffee before starting their day
They check their Facebook, Twitter or Email

Have you ever opened your email in the morning and found out some bad news
that made you pissed-off for the remainder of the day? Have you ever had to
drag yourself out of bed just because you didnt want to go to work?

Basically, what Im saying is that the actions we take in the beginning of the
day (especially the first hour) can define the attitude we have throughout the
rest of the day.

Do something useful in this small window of time to kick-start your day. Heres
what I do currently;

Wake Up
When we get out of our bed were often very fuzzy and disoriented. To really
start your day of right I feel its essential to awaken your senses & reflexes (touch,
sound, taste, sight, smell, pain and temperature) before anything else.

By giving our body many different stimuli were forcing it to wake up all its
systems and become alert.

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1. Put On Some Music

2. Smile
I believe in the statement that says; motion before emotion. If we adopt
the physiology of the state we would like to be in and consciously choose
what to focus on we can trick our brain into believing were happy.
3. Full-Body Stretch + 50 Push-Ups+ 50 squats + 50 Sit-ups
This really helps to get your heart-rate up significantly. Getting your blood
flowing is a great way to feel more awake. Over time it also adds up as
exercise.
4. Hydrate (lemon juice + water)
When you get out of bed your body is simply dehydrated because of
breathing and sweating. Youll need to re-fill your water reserves to come
alive again. Squeeze 1-2 lemons into a big glass of water and just chug it
down. Also great for your immune system.
5. Cold Shower + Shave & Clean
Get yourself dressed and ready for the day by taking a cold shower to
awaken your senses and looking your best (step 17)

Engage
1. Who Am I?

In the morning I also review my code of conduct which is basically an

overview of the person Id like to become that Ive defined in step 16. In it Ill go
over how I want to be that day by visualizing my ultimate self (see step 21)

We become who we want to be by consistently being who we

want to become each day.
Also Id like to go over how Ill treat other people since Im not a natural social
person. (See step 15)

2. Where Am I Going?

The second part is re-defining where Im currently going in my life according to

the goals Ive set in step 13. This will always give me a clear overview of what the
best investment is of my time and energy at all times.

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I also go over the goals Ive set for today. Without a clear focus for the day Its
just all too easy to get distracted in the minutia of daily life. I mostly write these
down on a small piece of paper and carry them wherever I go. Everything else is
a distraction.

3. Why Am I Doing This?

In the last part Ill go over my motivation reminding myself why Im doing the
things Im doing. Its simply not enough to know who you want to be and where
youre going with your life. You need to have enough compelling reasons of why
you get out of your bed every single day.

Humans are inherently lazy. You need to - actively - keep the fire alive to stay on
track. Push yourself trough the resistance by being consistent.

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#20) Stay Motivated

The foundation of motivation is built upon push and pull factors. Humans are by
instinct designed to move away from pain and into pleasure. This is hedonic
motivation.

For example:
In ancient times, when we were attacked by a dangerous animal well
register this as pain and accordingly stay away from it.
As babies we ran into walls since we havent made the distinction yet that
they can hurt us, Therefore our brain re-programs us to stop running into
walls (which is obvious for us, but not for babies)
When our bodies comes into contact with high-sugar, high-fat foods
(which provide a lot of energy), well be rewarded by our brain by
releasing dopamine (a feel-good hormone) and consequently link
pleasure to eating those foods

This is a GREAT system for survival and overcoming different situations and the
foundation of why we do things.

All the decisions we make can be reduced to the need to avoid pain or the
desire to attain pleasure, therefore this model is perfectly applicable to
motivation.

Whenever your push (pain) and pull (pleasure) factors-outweigh the resistance
you have to overcome to reach a desired end-goal youll be motivated to
take the action.

Now what is more motivating?

Pain or pleasure?

The pain in your current situation (which is real) or your estimated pleasure from
your new situation?

PAIN

pain is real, pain is tangible. Its something youre being constantly confronted
with. Estimations arent real. Theyre simply not there. Theyre ethereal.

You see; humans are not that different from plants. Once our basic needs have
been fulfilled (absence of pain) we lose our drive to really excel at something.
Your body basically shuts down & says:

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Howowow!! calm the fuck down there buddy, you got everything you need
Why exert energy? Life is goooood, just chiiiiiill. Stop being so uptight.

The pain-motivation is something real, something that we have experienced in

the past while the pleasure-motivation is an estimate, a possibility of what we
might get in the future(we havent experienced it for ourselves)

Therefore it is critical to write down all kinds of pains (and pleasures) that you
can use as fuel to reach your goals. Ask yourself the following questions;

What has not achieving this goal cost you in the past, is costing you in the
present and what will it cost you in the future?
What pleasure will you get from achieving this goal in the present and the
future?

Make a big pile of all the things that can motivate you.

It doesnt matter how petty and insignificant/wrong they might actually be (like
proving something to others, looking good for others,) .

In the beginning the most important thing is taking action! And the best method
to taking action is to have a lot or better yet strong reasons for taking action.

Staying Motivated
Remember that your brain inherently doesnt care for growing. Your brain is
maladjusted to the times you live in.

It cares about two simple things;

Fulfill basic needs
Preserve energy

Therefore its essential to create your own motivators.

Internal Motivators

Ive come to believe that the strongest internal motivational factors that push us
beyond our basic needs (into self-actualization) are the following;

Autonomy
Purpose
Mastery

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Autonomy
Autonomy is the desire to be self-directed. Emotional investment in certain
directions therefore creates the motivation (engagement) to persist in them.

If other people give you a clear cut pattern that you need to follow youll feel
less engaged since you arent invested in the process at all

How to become more autonomous?

By setting your own life goals (step 13) and living accordingly.

Purpose
Purpose is what I call the primary motivator for your life. Its what you think about
when you get out of your bed in the morning and what keeps you working hard
until late at night.

It is the single most powerful motivator for achieving self-actualization

Connecting to a cause larger than yourself is what will drive the

desire to excel.

Purpose can be brought into perspective by reminding yourself that youre

going to die - A bit morbid but necessary regardless.

By visualizing yourself at your own funeral or being confronted by it in real life

were having more conscious thought as to what legacy we want to leave on
this planet.

You often see this behavior in people who got involved in a car crash or
became temporarily paralyzed or any-other near-death experience. They are
more conscious of their actions as theyve personally witnessed the shortness of
their life.

Will I have mattered once Im gone?

The way we fulfill this is unique for everyone (but extremely important). Find an
occupation you find meaningful (step 5).

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Mastery/Competence
The last thing that intrinsically motivates us is the desire to excel and grow in the
things we care about.

How to increase mastery?

Mastery and competence can be added to your life by

Creating a competitive environment (contrast)
Accountability (guilt)
Changing your focus (contrast)

Creating a competitive environment between yourself and others can create

the internal drive to improve your performance (which, in turn makes you feel
more competent)

Therefore surround yourself with high-achievers, read biographies of highly

successful people, read blogs of high-achievers, watch movies/motivational
clips of the people who are on top of their shit.

The people we see set the standard for whats acceptable Gary
Keller

Another great way to add competence is by keeping ourselves accountable for

the goals weve set by sharing them with others. Proving others wrong or
keeping your word are powerful tools that can help you reduce the resistance.
(Especially when your self-esteem is reliant on it like I talked about in part 16)

Additionally, we can also shift our perception by stopping to focus on our end-
goals.

I often see people infuriated because they arent where they want to be yet.
Instead of doing that, solely focus on the progress youve already made by
keeping a track record of where you started and where you are now.

Comparing your current situation to the one you used to be in (looking back) is a
lot more rewarding than looking up towards the huge mountain you still need to
climb

Some practical ways to do this;

Keep a journal (step 6)
Keep pictures of milestones/highlights in your life
Set measure points

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o How many words did you write today?

o How many girls did you approach today?
o # of Networking emails written?

Judge yourself on quality and quantity of the actions youve performed and not
on the results youve obtained. Results are simply a measuring stick for the quality
and quantity of your actions.

This is a process-oriented approach in comparison to a result-oriented approach

External Motivators
On another note, resistance will ALWAYS be present in our life. We can have
purpose, mastery and autonomy but still dont feel the mental drive to do the
shit we set out to do. Were simply not designed to exert energy if it isnt
necessary.

Sometimes (many times) an outside push will get us back on track again.

Operant Conditioning
This basically involves training yourself like you would train an animal. Learn
yourself the right behavior by applying consistent rewards and punishments for
your behavior.

Adding a reward (pleasure) behind a certain behavior forces the brain to rewire
its neural pathways to make it more likely for that desired behavior to occur.

Conversely, adding a consequence (pain) after a certain behavioral pattern

evokes the brain also to rewire its neural pathways to make place for less of that
unwanted behavior

Reward examples

Listen to a fiction audio-book for 30 minutes

Buy something for yourself for x amount of money
Watch a movie
Take a hot bath whilst listening to soothing music

Consequence examples

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Drink flaxseed oil & wheatgrass

Eat 3 red peppers
Slap yourself in the face
Skip meals
Take a 10 minute cold shower
Do 100 push-ups
Donate money to anti-charity

Anyway, you get the point. Find the stimulators and consequences that WORK
for you. These are all person-specific.

What gets rewarded, gets repeated

Be sure to make these consistent, intense enough and add them directly after
the action youre trying to influence.

Limiting Options
The easiest way to stop indulging bad habits is simply removing the possibility to
do so. By changing your environment to support the habits you want youll be
able to stick to it easier.

For example;

If you want to eat healthier dont buy cookies or snacks skip temptation
altogether
Cook food in bulk so you always have meals on-the-go
Give your friend 100 - He only gives it back when youve approached x
amount of women. Otherwise he keeps it.
Put your alarm clock across the room so youll have to get out of bed
before it stops

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STFU & Just Do It

Then again; resistance will always remain present and its ultimately an exertion
of willpower (something your brain tries to avoid at all costs).

A battle between your mal-adjusted crap brain wanting you to live a mediocre
life and your heart wanting something more.

So my last advice would be to just: shut the fuck up and do it. Become a self-
starter by breaking the negative feedback loop that holds you in that
disempowering pattern.

Snap out of it by continuous persistence on your goals.

The truth is this: were constantly in the process of reprogramming our brain.
Were either getting a little bit more intense or a little bit softer every day.

You regress or you progress. Theres no standing still and in the meantime
your brain is fucking you up the ass with a strap-on cactus.

Visualize that (step 21)

By consistently breaking through resistance it will be a lot easier the next time,
until it becomes a habit. Our willpower-reserve grows bigger the more we
completely deplete it. Train it like a muscle

Therefore dont stare blindly at your purpose or mastery factors and just get up
and do the work.

Motivational factors is what get us started but persistence lowers the resistance
over time so it will become a habit and well perform those actions on auto-pilot.

Objects in motion stay in motion.

Heres my magic rainbow sentence I tell myself;

I DON'T GIVE A SHIT HOW YOU FEEL. YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP
AND DO THE SHIT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO.

CONSISTENCY > MOTIVATION

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#21) Visualize
What Is Visualization?

The formation of mental images is the most accurate way Im able to describe
it.

Visualization has two awesome, practical applications;

Changing perception
Increasing performance

Changing Perception
Our world is based upon how we perceive it. We dont respond to factual
knowledge but to our interpretation of that knowledge.

Huh, How so? Im sure I dont!

When considering a football-game. Theres always two teams playing against

each other and therefore you also (mostly) have two crowds of supporters.
Imagine this scenario: one team is winning and the other is losing pretty badly.
The supporters of the first team are most likely ecstatic whilst the others are
probably disappointed or even angry.

See the point Im trying to make here?

Its a very simple example: They are both watching the exact same game yet
react differently. This might seem obvious if you havent given it second
thought yet clearly proves that we most often react to our perception of reality
(subjective) and not the actual reality (objective).

You can look at the exact same image yet derive two entirely different
conclusions (read: facts) of them, based on your perception.

Perception is everything.

Yeah yeah, all fun and games Simon. But whats the practical application of this
stuff? I dont really care about stupid football games nor pretty pictures..

Changing your perception is critically important in generating self-image &

optimism towards your life.

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Perception can literally make or break your life.

What perception do you have when you face the man in the mirror?

What perception do you have when you look at your life?

By consciously visualizing yourself as a great man and being optimistic about

your life you can change your behavior for the better.

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Increasing Performance
Additionally, we also have skills and talents that can simply be developed
without physical practice! Rehearsal in the mind tends to lead to the same
benefits as actual practice

What kind of black-magic is this?

Research Quarterly ran an experiment on the effects of mental practice on

performance in basketball;

Therefore Maxwell Maltz came to the conclusion in his book Psycho-

Cybernetics that;

Experimental and clinical psychologists have proved beyond a

shadow of a doubt that the human nervous system cannot tell the
difference between an actual experience and an experience
imagined vividly and in detail.

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Theres quite some scientific truth behind the statement; fake it until you make it.

Conclusion?
You act and feel not according to what things are really like but of
the image your mind holds of what things are like. Maxwell Maltz
Trough visualization were able to change the perception of ourselves (like I
talked about before), the perception of the world around us and practice skills
we want to excel at. This, in turn defines our self
esteem, behavior/performance and overall happiness.

Now THAT is a bit more interesting eh?

How To Visualize
Alright, lets get practical now. Ill share three different visualization techniques in
the exercises below.

First up;

1. Get comfortable (but stay awake)

2. Set a timer for 10 to 20 minutes.
3. You can add some music if you like.
4. Slow down your breath by inhaling for 5 seconds, holding it for 5 seconds
and then releasing it for 5 seconds again. Repeat this 5 times.
5. Now close your eyes.

Imagine yourself floating out of your body to the

back-row of an empty cinema. On the screen
youll mentally rehearse different scenarios
according to the result youre looking for;

Alright, sit back; The movie is starting! Enjoy the

ride..

Reaching Goals
Vividly and in detail imagine yourself in your current situation. Got that image?
(this shouldnt be too hard)

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Good! Now visualize your desired situation,

Now vividly imagine how youre going to fill the gap between your current
situation and your desired situation. Focus on the process required. Visualize it as
vividly and in detail as possible.

Many people just visualize the end result whilst that has (mostly) no effect.

You should visualize (and by the same rule, act) on the process thats necessary
reach your goal.

Dont imagine money. Imagine how youre going to make the money.
Dont imagine yourself in a great physique. Imagine the process required
to attain that physique.

If youre familiar with the Law Of Attraction youll realize (or do so now) that just
thinking about it isnt going to change shit in your life.

Otherwise you can just write down the problem you need solving and give it
some time to incubate by using Zlotoff problem solving (MacGyver Method)

Improving at any skill

By the same account, you can picture yourself performing a skill you want to
improve in (just like the basketball throws I talked about earlier). Again, process
over end-result.

Visualize yourself succeeding at the task/skill you want to improve at. Public
speaking, approaching a girl, writing, lifting weights, learning, .

Repeat as vividly and in-detail as possible, as many times as you want.

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Improving Self-Esteem
Lastly, but certainly not least is the art (yes, Ive found it to be THAT effective)
of self-visualization. Imagine your ultimate self EVERY SINGLE DAY.

How would your ultimate self, walk, talk, behave, interact, work and perform?
Imagine every single detail and watch how your mind adopts this blueprint until
it becomes automatic.

Until it becomes real. (Its actually cool to see how people in your surroundings
pick this up). They actually see yourself changing in behavior and ask you why
its happening this way.

Perform this whenever necessary and condition it until it becomes firmer and
firmer (and eventually youll auto-generate these conditions for yourself)

Because lets face it. Theres only two options you can take;

Let your life be defined by your own self-created bullshit and fall into
depression (Since what benefits do disempowering beliefs give you
anyway? Answer: NONE)
Take control of your beliefs and have a chance for something better. See
greatness in yourself before anyone else does.

Act like a king to be treated as one

Over time our heads get filled with so much negative fluffcrap (thats a word
from now-on) that we can hardly distinguish original thought from the crap we
absorb by our surroundings.

What visualization allows you to do is take a step back from what you believe is
true and create for yourself the image of what you want to be true. Since our
minds act on suggested perceptions well be able to change our-self, our
performance and our happiness.

Note that this will take some time. It takes - on average - 66 days2 to replace our
old pattern with our new self-suggested images. So keep practicing consistently
with the three exercises Ive mentioned above and eventually they will become
real.

2
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ejsp.674/abstract

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#22) Build Up Habits

One of the best ways to change your life is by giving yourself some powerful
routines that will add major benefits to your life in the long-run. This should be
your MAIN FOCUS overall. Adding habitual reactions on certain triggers that
provide optimal results

Habits like reading, working out, eating healthy, waking up earlier, working on a
project, learning a skill at a certain time and so-forth. I call them success-habits

When looking to improve our life were primarily focused on certain events whilst
almost every (if not all) successful aspects we recognize in a person is the sum of
different processes. They compound over time.

I call it habit stacking

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How To Build Up Habits

Theres 3 parts to building new, lasting habits;

1. Reminder (the trigger that initiates the behavior)

2. Routine (the behavior itself - the action you take)
3. Reward (the benefit you gain from doing the behavior)

The most important key to building solid habits is consistency.

Its best to start at a low level where you dont feel any resistance. In the
beginning the main thing you want to focus on is just establishing that consistent
routine. Focus on the process of doing the habit and not the end result.

For example; you want to get more physically active. And you want to do 40
minute walks every day. A great start is to do a 5-minute walk each evening
after work and build it up over time.

Youre going to need to keep yourself accountable too! You can do this by
downloading the Thirty Day Challenge Calendar and print it out.
Hang it up somewhere visible (kitchen, fridge,) to remind you that you need to
do that certain task. Also use timers in your cell-phone to trigger certain habits.

But also link rewards to completing these daily routines! Changing habits pays of
very slowly (most) and therefore you wont really get any immediate satisfaction
from them.

Create rewards whenever youve completed a daily routine. These rewards will
strengthen the desired neural pathways. (What gets rewarded gets repeated
remember?)

Reward good behavior instantly with positive self-talk, a relaxing movie, eating
out, taking a bath, buy yourself a present, anything really.

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Also link some consequences to not taking action. For example; Ask a friend or
family member to keep yourself accountable and if you dont complete what
youve set out to do, you connect a consequence to that (giving that friend 15$
for example, or even 500$.)

The more painful the consequence the more motivated youll be. (If you cant
find any good consequences, ask your friends ;) Theyll surely come up with
something)

The consequences that work the best are physical pain and absence of food

Re-cap:

1. Print out the 30 Day Challenge Calendar

2. Write down one habit you want to imbed into your life for the next thirty
days
3. Write down your motivation on the back and hang it somewhere where you
can see it every day (fridge, desk, kitchen, ) Add timers if necessary
4. Link your actions to consequences and rewards!
5. Start small & build them up gradually
When you skip a day dont freak out but simply try again the next
day
Consistency is most important.

If you find yourself struggling with consistency. Either lower the resistance or
increase the consequences.

Try one, max two habits at a time.

Heres a few Id recommend to anyone; reading, writing (journaling), morning

ritual, evening ritual, weightlifting, bulk cooking, hygiene routines, learning a skill
daily, social hobby and visualizing

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Solving Recurring Problems

The same way as you build up enforcing habits you should build habits that deal
with recurring problems by creating IF-THEN systems.

By keeping track of your life youll stumble upon recurring patterns that block
you from growing further. We can easily address these in a cause and effect
pattern (although its not failure proof it does help A LOT)

For example, heres some I use;

IF THEN
Feeling Tired? 1. Drink 3 glasses of cold water
2. Turn on hardstyle music
3. Do 25 push-ups without shirt
4. Cold air (open window) + breath explosively
5. Stand up (blood flow - heart pumps harder)
(standing desk?)
6. Move around & flex
7. Upright posture

8. Still tired? --> 25 minute powernap

9. In morning, still tired? --> Cold shower
immediately
Anxious/Overthinking? Get Back To Center;

1. Meditation (clear your mind)

2. Running/walking
3. Brain-dumping (writing)
4. Flow
5. Reading about things that remind you of
yourself (Models, WOSM, 7 Habits)
Anyway, you get what I mean eh? Print these out regularly (if your approach to
dealing with these problems change) and hang them up where you can see
them

These systems allow you to perform optimal despite the circumstances that
might occur.

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Afterthoughts
Im constantly asking myself what the best way is in which I can live my life. How I
can optimize my health, wealth, social relationships and whatnot.

Its all I can really think about lately..

And I believe many people dont put enough thought into it - leading to
preventable problems down the line.

I try to make sense of this world by coming up with the best long-term strategy
for living an excellent life.

Although it sometimes feels like Im fighting against my own brain its something
that keeps me going.

I realize life was never meant to be fair nor happy, only effective at survival and
reproduction.

The meaning of life is what you make out of it. Find this in doing some worthwhile
work or in raising a family/loving your girl. Be sure to stay fully engaged at all
times by using this guide in confusing times to push you trough.

In the end, all we can do is strive. Going forward with the best information at
hand to build our own utopia.

I hope this book has given you more insight in yourself, in your life and how you
can plan better for the future.

Its what I believe will make you into a real, mature man. By becoming self-
defined, self-directed and self-supported

Additionally - I realize that the trends Ive talked about can be disheartening;
population explosion, declining fossil fuels, increased competition, identity
fading, apathy and emptiness.

I dont necessary like the particular direction were going as species (I find it grim
even) but thats just the way the world works and naturally we try to adapt to
these changing times as best as humanly possible.

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Thats what this book is ultimately for; adaptation. Adaptation to current events
to get something better in the future. Consciously steering where were going in
life.

Look at it like this;

Is life really not worth living because its difficult and youll have to give it
up someday?
Is sex with a beautiful woman not enjoyable because she might not be
with you forever?
Is a tasty meal not worth savoring because it wont endure?
Is it wrong to enjoy the companionship of your friends because your paths
might part in the future?

Do you opt out of the game as it gets more challenging?

Squeeze the last juice out of it as long as possible. Remind yourself often to stay
awake. Dont slip into drinking, sedation, TV, video-games, drugs, porn,
whatever. Remember the rules

Also; become comfortable with the fact youll never get there. There wont
ever be an end game. The struggle is endless. Growing is the name of the
game.

Or as a great man once said;

Life isnt about waiting for the storm to pass.

Its about learning how to dance in the fucking rain.
So dance.

- S.

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Final Notes
Note that knowledge is only potential power if youre not going to apply
anything youre reading youre just wasting your time and energy.

If you found this book useful, I encourage you to share this free PDF.

Additionally, If youre having any thoughts, feedback or questions about this

book feel free to hit me up at.; simonsomlai@basicgrowth.com

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Recommended Reading
These are my top 5 books of all-time. Must-read for everyone looking to
dramatically improve their life quality.

1. The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People Stephen R. Covey

2. Psycho-Cybernetics Maxwell Maltz
3. The Way Of The Superior Man David Deida
4. The One Thing Gary Keller
5. Millionaire Fastlane MJ Demarco

The links provided in the titles are affiliate links meaning Ill get a small
commission if you decide to purchase the books through my link. The price stays
the same.

Additional reading:

Any standard (school) textbook on psychology; learn the essentials of

learning, motivation, social psychology, attraction, intelligence,
personality, influence, .
Models by Mark Manson (On dating)

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