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Michael Sendin

Professor Rosenfeld

English 113B

8 November 2017

The deeper parts of Online Dating

Back in the day, it was common for people to write a love note and give it to the person

they admired. However, nowadays the physical interactions have been replaced with a more

lazier approach through a digital medium. Such as putting a few love words on a digital page and

sending it from your own home. In the peer reviewed journal, Dispositional factors predicting

use of online dating sites and behaviors related to online dating, Blackhart, Fitzpatrick, and

Williamson construct research of different behavior levels with other college students describing

more of these behaviors (113). When it comes to dating, people have different insecurities that

could cause the person to act or behave a certain way that could be crucial. Self-esteem is almost

like an energy level system where it can reach a point where one can feel they can do anything in

the world but when the person gets rejected; the energy levels get lowered to a critical point of

loneliness. Everyone has a different way as to deal with rejection but some are more extreme as

to use alcohol to drown the tears away and others play games or hang out with love ones to

forget the rejection. Therefore, while online dating has proven itself to bring some people

together, it instead brings nothing but pain to others as well as loneliness due to the lack or

inability to physically interact with others.

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Many online dating websites are structured for people and their specific taste. Like

someone is into a certain race then the person would use the online dating website that is only

meant for one race. Also, what people dont know is that some people dont use online dating

websites. Instead those people who are gamers actually use the

video game world as a dating website, but they do it as if the

virtual world is a reality. The players would join guilds and play

different types of raids (group of players doing a quest) and try

to show other players their skills and try amaze some players.

In the image it shows superman going on a similar online dating

website that appears to be more like a match making website

and trying to see if he is a perfect match for Wonder woman. In

the background it looks like he is in the comfort of his home where the walls are yellow and the

desk is magenta and it looks like he has a Shrek poster hanging on the side of the wall and looks

like the Shrek poster is smiling but, smiling towards Superman. Almost as if Shrek is smirking at

him because him and Wonder woman werent a match. This is somewhat of a self-esteem

situation because when people see that there might not be a chance to find the ideal perfect

match they start to lose confidence and might end up of thinking of other ways to get a person to

like them.
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Most people who use online dating websites lie about their profile. Those people put

down anything on the description bar and for their profile picture they put a young fit person

saying that the picture is them. Older

people from the age of 18-95 are the

ones who mainly lie on their profile. The

elderly people mainly go on to the

websites increase the numbers of people

who want them. In short it seems to be

more of an act of rejection sensitivity.

The idea of being young and having a

perfect figure confuses people into thinking that who they are isnt good enough and that there is

no one else in the world that could be the significant other. In some statistic matter, most people

agree on saying that there are a lot of people out in the world trying to put down what others

want to hear, but on the other hand a few people say that out in the large and lonesome world

there are people who tell the truth and are hoping some one will love them for who they are, on

the inside as well as the outside.

Saying that online dating is completely bad is very misleading because there are good

sides in terms of connecting to others. Like the fact that when people go on an online date there

could be many out comes to it. For instance, people who go on the online dating websites might

think that they will find the perfect mate but what the online dating users dont think about is that

they might find a best friend that they know will have their backs in any situation and wont need

to worry about being so lonely. For many others though they have actually found their perfect

match and then they marry after a couple of dates. In the article Convenience with the Click of a
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Mouse: A Survey of Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder on Online Dating, Roth and Gillis

write more of the people with autism and have a certain disability use online dating for the

reason of them not being able to go face to face interaction. It may seem to look like it is another

excuse, but it is actually a good tool for those who have personal problems or who are disabled

(133).

Many people have thought of just to go out in the so called world to find the significant

other but it isnt that easy for people with autism. Autism is one of the hardest things people live

with and they feel a little discriminate about their problems. Same goes for people who let say

have a miss print in their genetics. What that basically means is that people who were born with,

say an indent in their nose people will think they look a little funny and that it is unattractive.

Those people use the online dating website as a way for people to not know of their personal

problems such as appearances or how they act. It is a dire shame, but this is something that

online dating helps with. Online dating has helped people with autism or a DNA default to find

that significant other that doesnt care about the looks or what kind of mental illness.

Online dating has brought good into the world by helping people find their exact match.

However, when people get to the point of being too lonely then they use the online dating

websites to find the match but they lie on their description page just to get more numbers from

other random people. The disabled people however, have proven to use the online dating

websites for more than to just find the one. They also find long life friends that understand them

and would help them no matter what. I do find it hard to believe that others would have to lie

about them selves to impress some random strange. One must be true to them selves before

being true to others. As some random person once said before nowadays and the main problem

is that people are always reminded on the magazines of super models and these multi billionaires
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that they feel a little insecure which is why online dating is also used and should be but to a

minimum.
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WORK CITED:

Blackhart, Fitzpatrick, and Williamson. "Dispositional Factors Predicting Use of

Online Dating Sites and Behaviors Related to Online Dating." Computers in Human

Behavior 33 (2014): 113-18. Web.

Davis, Eden M., and Karen L. Fingerman. "Digital Dating: Online Profile Content of

Older and Younger Adults." Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological

Sciences and Social Sciences 71.6 (2016): 959-67. Web.

Roth, Matthew, and E. Gillis. "Convenience with the Click of a Mouse: A Survey

of Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder on Online Dating." Sexuality and

Disability 33.1 (2015): 133-50. Web.

Toma, Catalina L., and Jeffrey T. Hancock. "What Lies Beneath: The Linguistic

Traces of Deception in Online Dating Profiles." Journal of Communication 62.1

(2012): 78-97. Web.

Whyte, and Torgler. "Things Change with Age: Educational Assortment in Online

Dating." Personality and Individual Differences 109 (2017): 5-11. Web.

https://www.surveymonkey.com/results/SM-LN72W9ZY8/