Bryttni Pugh

Huskey

DANC 2216-002

13 March 2017

Process of Struggling & Striving Material

The solo about struggling and striving was created in four parts: the source material, draft

one, draft two, and the final draft.

I began with a section about suicide struggling for life and striving for death. The story

is as follows: I am self-critical, so I strangle myself. I dont know who I am because my anxiety

takes over my flesh. I try to let go, but death only pulls me closer as I push away. Then it hits me.

A dagger in the chest. Its removal causes me to choke. Out of the dark I lead myself and wobble

out of fear. The blow of a gun must withdraw my misery.

There are corresponding movements for each sentence, but I created the movements and

the story simultaneously. I thought about each step of the suicidal process as it relates to my life

and experience, and I attempted to contort my body in ways that caught the essence of that

particular step. For instance, I thought of what would lead me to struggle or lead me to suicide,

and I immediately thought of my anxiety and obsession with self-critique. I then moved each part

of my body around the head, hands, fingers, knees, feet, elbows, and torso in order to find a

shape that felt anxiety-provoking. I eventually stumbled across the knock-kneed position as seen

in the beginning of that section and attached meaning to the odd creation. The right arm that is

wrapped around my head signifies anxiety, the wrapping of that arm pushes my head down and

forces me to look into the left hand, the left hand that I look into is a mirror for self-critique, both

hands are flexed greatly as they reflect and affect one another, and the knocked knees signify my
only way to balance as I have become weak and need support. Without a plan in mind, I grabbed

my face with my right hand and allowed it to lead me into a new movement. I wondered how far

I could stretch my face, leading me to an arched back, and wondered how to further struggle,

leading me to grab my neck with the left hand. I allowed each movement to take me to the next

until I reached the suicide attempt the abstract gun blow with the shape of my stacked arms

influenced by the image of a shotgun, the curled fingers of the right hand on my chin, the wobbling

with fear to a high level, and the fingers flexed back as my heels came down abruptly to indicate

the shot.

The second section that I created was based off the writing prompts given in class about

defining struggling and striving, giving examples for each, and providing movement qualities for

each. I chose to create this section on the idea of striving in order to contrast my last work. I wrote

in my notebook that to strive was to reach for a goal that is rewarding either to myself or to another

person. Striving requires determination and effort as well as challenges and obstacles; there is a

struggle whilst striving, and the goal does not always have to be reached. My story was not as

thought-out as the previous one, but I did have an overall idea which was about making great

efforts to achieve something that I am forced to do; so, I have a conflict of striving to please others

and striving to stop letting others control me. I had difficulty generating a beginning, so I stood

there, growing irritated. I realized that irritability can be included in my idea of striving, and I used

the posture and attitude I had whilst thinking as my beginning. I searched for ways to vary my

arms, and I let one hang. I expanded upon this hanging and allowed it to swing as my expression

still showed annoyance. The constant swinging as well as the heavy legs and the walks show that

I am forced to continue to the goal that I do not care to achieve. I stop the movements and force

with a catch of the arm above the head and with an open hand and a ninety-degree angled arm.
 The third section was centered around the idea of a physical activity grave digging. I

explored every sport I could think of and did not find any of the movements that stemmed from

those to be interesting. I became stuck on the idea of gardening and tried mimicking the action of

shoveling. I spent much time shoveling in one spot and felt that I was digging enough dirt out for

a grave. I watched a video on YouTube about grave digging to find movement other than the

simple act of digging. I realized that I could press the shovel in with my feet, scoop the pile of dirt

up with my arms and feet, and feel the dirt on the floor. This physical activity is mundane, so I

purposefully repeated the movements. To find an ending, I thought about pressing the dirt like how

one does after planting a flower. I reversed the digging action to pile the dirt back on and patted it

down.

For each of the three sections of movement, there is an event that takes place. I create

stories within my work as I am attached to finding or creating a meaning within dance. It not only

makes it more interesting for me as the choreographer but also more authentic and memorable for

me as the dancer. Unlike the topic for each story, I never had a set idea for a shape; I explored and

experimented with the feelings of awkwardness and uncomfortability until I settled into an

appropriate shape. I developed subsequent movements by allowing the prior to lead me to a new

one, but I further developed the material within each section by using choreographic tools and

devices. I used repetition, large and small ranges, changes in facings, stillness, sustained qualities,

percussive qualities, active energy, focus, levels, and acceleration and deceleration. I simply

experimented with these tools and devices to create variety within the sections, but they were given

the upmost attention when creating the final draft. Although I attempted to create movements that

were interesting in my point of view, I always kept in mind the thought about originality. I was

told on my first day of choreography class that if the movement I create has a name, then it is not
original. Therefore, I made sure to adhere to that and create movement as original as possible,

making the process even more challenging and fascinating. I did not realize that my body translated

originality to using its entirety, but I embraced that as being a part of my individuality.

The first draft was rather difficult to produce. I became quite angry because I could not

figure out how to properly vary and modify the material. I came to a point where I told myself to

simply focus on shuffling the movement around because I will have two more opportunities to

readjust my material. I even had to give up my story because I could not find ways to have it make

sense with shuffled material. I used some of the suggestions in my source material video to create

a beginning (dragging the heel from upstage left) and end (digging a grave to the wobbling and

gun movement), but the middle was chaotic. In a literal sense, I cut and paste movement to create

the middle and hoped that critique from my peers would help me in the next draft.

The purpose of my second draft was to incorporate as many suggestions from my peers

and instructor as I could and to drag the duration out as long as possible. The number one critique

was to lengthen the duration of certain movements, so I wanted to find out how long was too long.

I can proudly say that I succeeded at finding that with the heel dragging movement at the beginning

as I executed that movement for a minute and a half. I used nearly all of the suggestions that were

posted by the instructor and myself in Video Collaboratory to develop the second draft. Although

the draft was nearly double the amount of time than required, I wanted to include as much as

possible so my peers and I could find movements and phrases that did or did not work and

movements that could be rearranged or varied.

The final draft was satisfying, although it still feels incomplete. I was able to modify

duration to an appropriate amount of time, eliminate the second half of my previous draft to mend

the disconnect, create a larger range with the swaying of the arm, use fragmentation to transition
organically between movements, incorporate shapes and use my hair throughout to produce

familiarity and unity, continuously move as I was told about a pattern of fast to slow that I typically

create, and change levels and facings to clarify the story that I originally wanted to incorporate. I

was most pleased with my first section of choreography and its corresponding story about suicide,

so I used as much as I could from them. I am constantly attacked by my anxiety and self-critique

(struggling with my hands over the eyes, pulling my hair, and stretching the face), and I am striving

for death (beginning with the heel drags and the arms in the abstract gun for a suicide attempt and

ending with digging a grave, the blow of the gun, and the body sinking into the grave for the lethal

attempt). The story gave the piece structure, and the acceleration of movements were small

climaxes with active and continuous energy.

I am a slow choreographer, and I take my time in order to become satisfied. I spent about

three hours on the first section, thirty or so minutes in class on the second section, two hours on

the third section, four annoyingly long hours on the first draft, three hours on the second draft, and

a fast and productive two hours on my final draft. I choreographed every solo and draft in my

living room and game room because they are the most spacious rooms in my house. Those rooms

are free of distractions unlike my bedroom and are comforting enough to open my creativity. I

rehearsed in my house until I could name each movement in my head and body. When I arrived

in the studio, I rehearsed in the empty space, allowing me to reach and travel across a larger space.

Personal experience, interest, and experimentation helped me make decisions about which topics

to use for the source material, guiding me to various movements and stories. Critique from myself,

my peers, and my instructor helped me make decisions about varying, shuffling, and sequencing

the material for my drafts. Watching my work on Video Collaboratory was enlightening because

I saw the unique shapes I created, movements that needed to be varied, movements that needed to
be longer or shorter in duration, qualities that could be enhanced, movements or phrases that could

be eliminated as they appeared disconnected, and movements that may have been hidden from the

audience. Dancing and watching are two distinct experiences, and both are vital when creating a

work. When choreographing I focused on how the movement felt rather than its appearance, but I

had the chance of viewing my choreography afterwards to alter or modify it. This felt balanced at

the time, however, I should video myself more next time to catch problem areas early. I am

satisfied with the process of creating my three sections as I find my best work when experimenting

for hours. I am not as satisfied with the drafts because I wanted to include more movement; but,

the final draft turned out better than I had thought. I did not think that I could have created an

enjoyable work when trying to figure out my first draft, but the critique was extremely helpful.

Perhaps I should ask for critique throughout my entire process for more insight because my point

of view can become tiring and in need of fresh eyes.