Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Conflict Resolution ResourceGuide PDF
Conflict Resolution ResourceGuide PDF
Resolution
Fundamentals
a course companion
with Lisa Gates
Conflict Resolution Fundamentals
CONTENTS
Contents 2
Conflict Resolution Fundamentals
4. Transformation: using the conflict to explore your relationship with the person with whom you’re having the dispute in a
way that resolves the conflict and transforms your relationship.
5. Transcendence: consciously moving through and past a conflict. In other words, you’re no longer dominated by the need
to repeat the conflict.
Contentious Tactics:
Attempts to convince your conflict partner to do something they don’t want to do or to stop doing something they want to
continue doing.
2. Promises: getting what we want now by promising we’ll do something later. “I’ll deliver the goods to you on an expedited
basis but only if you pay me my normal charge up front and a bonus of $ at the time of delivery.”
3. Persuasive argumentation: the use of logic and reason to change someone’s behavior or position, to prove how you’re
right and they’re wrong, or to lower their expectations.
4. Shaming: expressions of dismay, shock or disapproval of another’s behavior, usually on moral grounds. “Your work is really
embarrassing and you’re really not living up to your potential.”
5. Gamesmanship: getting what we want by manipulating your bargaining partner. “If I have to give you ten days notice, I’ll
give it to you at 5 p.m. on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.”
6. Threats: getting what we want now by threatening to cause the other harm if they don’t comply. “If you don’t get your
report in you’re going to have to work over the weekend.”
Cognitive Bias
A cognitive bias is a pattern of deviation in judgment that occurs in particular situations, which may sometimes lead to perceptual
distortion, inaccurate judgment, illogical interpretation, or what is broadly called irrationality (Wikipedia). Here are just a few of the
biases we cover in the course:
1. Hindsight bias: also called the “I-knew-it-all-along” bias, is the tendency to view past events as being predictable.
2. Fundamental attribution error: the tendency for people to explain the behavior of others as personality defects, while
minimizing the role of situational influences.
3. Confirmation bias: the tendency to look for or interpret information in a way that confirms our preconceptions.
4. Self-serving bias: the tendency to take more credit for successes than failures, and to interpret events in a way that benefits
our interests.
5. Belief bias: this is when we form an opinion about the logic of an idea or proposal--not on its merits, but on our belief in
the truth or falsity of the conclusion.
Principles of Influence
1. Reciprocity: people are highly motivated to return a favor or good deed, or respond to a positive action with another
positive action.
2. Commitment and Consistency: if people commit, orally or in writing, to an idea or goal, they are more likely to honor that
commitment because of establishing that idea or goal as being congruent with their self image.
3. Social proof: people will do things that they see other people are doing.
4. Authority: people will tend to obey authority figures, even if they are asked to perform objectionable acts.
5. Liking: people who are similar to us are more likely to be influenced by us.
6. Scarcity: perceived scarcity will generate demand. For example, saying offers are available for a “limited time only”
encourages sales.
1. When you pointed your finger, what did you NAME as the issue?
This is the first step. Understanding the process at work in the Name, Blame, Claim Cycle. You may find it useful to refer to this first
exercise as a template for implementing the principles and strategies in the Roadmap to Resolution.
2. How do you think it’s helped or hindered your conflict resolution process in the past?
4. What style would most serve you in resolving those issues or challenges?
Right now, you can give yourself a head start by choosing the least challenging issue and make an effort to resolve it. Your answers
to these questions and your willingness to practice resolving daily conflicts will provide a backdrop for your movement throughout
this course.
• Investigate your interests: What are your values, priorities, preferences, goals, etc.?
• Listen.
• Manage yourself.
• Listen actively.
1. Resolution Roadmap 7
Conflict Resolution Fundamentals
Step 5: Brainstorming
• Determine how you’ll communicate your progress and close the communication loops.
• Follow up by email.
1. Resolution Roadmap 8
Conflict Resolution Fundamentals
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Next, think about a recent argument you had with a boss or coworker or family member. Somebody did something, and you got
upset. Perhaps really upset.
On a scale of 1-10, 1 being only mildly irritated, and 10 being the highest level of intensity, how irritated were you?
Now identify your capacity to deal with that issue or emotion. A 1 would mean that you are so triggered by this problem you can
hardly talk about it. A 9 or 10 means you have a lot of room for the feelings that come up around this issue.
So, if you were a 9 on the upset scale, and a 3 on the capacity scale, the distance between those two numbers suggests that you
have some capacity building to do.
Who?
What happened?
• What actions can you take to practice building your capacity in this area?
Diagnostic Questions 11
Conflict Resolution Fundamentals
Example #1:
Frame: “Your shoddy work shows that you don’t take your job seriously.”
Reframe: “I’m doing the work of three people and it would be helpful if you’d prioritize so I know where to focus.”
Example #2:
Frame: “Pete has really horrible time management skills and is constantly interrupting me.”
Reframe: “Pete may need some direction and clarity to help him be more productive.”
3. The only reason Amanda gets to work at home is because her kids are always sick.
4. Your resume indicates you don’t stick around long in any given position.
5. Why should I hire you when I can get everything you offer for free on the internet?
Reframing Strategies 12