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The skew is not just anecdotal. In the United States, there are 529,000 white male –
Asian female married couples and just 219,000 Asian male – white female married
couples, according to the 2010 U.S. census. Similarly, the number of black male – white
female marriages is 2.3 times bigger than the number of white male – black female
pairs. With African Americans and Asian Americans, the ratios are even further
imbalanced, with roughly five times more Asian female – African male marriages than
Asian male – African female marriages.
The phenomenon is not even confined to the U.S. In 2013, cognitive psychologist
Michael Lewis at the University of Cardiff in Wales in the U.K. asked 20 females and 20
males to rate 600 Facebook pictures of British, sub-Saharan Africans, and East Asians.
The participants consistently voted black men and Asian women as the most
attractive representatives of each gender; Asian men and black women were seen as
the least desirable partners.
“Darker skin is always associated with more masculine faces,” Lewis told me in a phone
conversation. Difference in height can also partially explain the observed results, he
said. Society imposes a “male-superior norm” that a man should be taller than his
partner; and blacks are on average taller than whites, who are taller than Asians, he says.
http://cholakovv.com/en/blog/2450 1/15
12/15/2014 Rules of attraction: Why white men marry Asian women and Asian men don't marry white women | Vesko Cholakov
I thought there must be more to the picture. I set off to answer the question, What
informs our perception of beauty? Is there really something profound about face
shape, height and body features that defines attraction? Or, is beauty merely a social
construct amplified by popular culture?
After more than a dozen interviews, I found some fascinating answers that go back two
centuries of history. This post is long overdue (two years after I returned from
Singapore) but I want to share my findings with you.
The first stereotype is that black men are aggressive and hyper-masculine – “walking
penises” – and Asian women are the perfect wives – docile, submissive, obedient, shy
and waiting to be saved, Sharma says. Second, Asian men have been de-sexualized as
small and weak brainiacs excelling at math but unable to get the girl, while black
women have been seen as too aggressive, independent and outspoken to be proper
wives. The third stereotype portrays whites in a position of power and “globally
desired,” a key to gaining a higher social status.
Love is not colorblind, Sharma admits. However, to claim that height and shape or
symmetries of the face make some races more desirable than others is a “complete
baloney,” she says.
If you think of Asian men or black women as less attractive than other races, it is
because of you, not because of them, Sharma says. Since the day you were born,
different influences on your mind – the bedtime stories your Mom read, the cartoons
you saw as kid, the school you went to and the wallpaper on your computer – have
come together to create a cohesive image of the world.
89 %
BLACK
17 %
WHITE
http://cholakovv.com/en/blog/2450 2/15
12/15/2014 Rules of attraction: Why white men marry Asian women and Asian men don't marry white women | Vesko Cholakov
WHITE
Look at those figures: On screen, black characters use profanity 89 percent of the time,
versus white characters who use profanity 17 percent of the time. Blacks are depicted
in physical violence 56 percent of the time, while whites play violent roles just 11
percent of the time, according to Robert Entman and Andrew Rojecki’s 2000 book “The
Black Image in the White Mind.”
Blacks are further shown as either lazy or hypersexual, while Asian men, to the extent
that they are portrayed at all, are either momma’s boys or effeminate computer dorks
with no social skills, Entman says.
“If you can come up with an example [in movies] where an Asian man is shown in a
sexual role with a white woman, I’d be shocked. Shocked!” Sharma says.
Asian men normally do not take the romantic lead. During its 15-year run, the NBC
show “ER” did not star a single Asian in a leading male role. “Grey’s Anatomy” showed
the romances of six white characters – exclusively with other white people – and
between a black male, Dr. Preston Burke, and an Asian female, Dr. Cristina Yang. An
iPhone 4 FaceTime commercial features three couples – all of them white men video
calling either white or Asian female mates. There are countless more examples.
Some notable big-screen exceptions include Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and Jet Li. Even so,
if Asians are portrayed as heroes, they are mostly martial arts masters and not
necessarily a magnet for women, says James Berardinelli, a film critic at Reelviews
Movie Reviews.
The 2000 blockbuster “Romeo Must Die” features Jet Li’s character who falls for Trish
O’Day, the daughter of a money-dealer. In the final scene of the original cut, Jet Li’s
character kisses O’Day, played by the late hip-hop star Aaliyah. However, test screenings
showed that viewers did not approve of the kiss; the final cut saw the kiss changed to a
hug and a fourth-grade-style holding of hands. This interaction between an Asian male
and black female may have been unappealing, or too daring, to viewers.
In 1850, the Chinese community of San Francisco consisted of 4018 men and only seven
women. In 1855, women made up only 2 percent of the Chinese population in the U.S.,
and even in 1890 they increased to just 4.8 percent.
The political cartoons of that time in Harper’s Magazine ridiculed Chinese bachelors
for taking on “girly” work – cooking in restaurants and doing the laundry – when in
fact those were the only jobs available.
America’s epitome of masculinity is the cowboy riding a horse with a gun, a father
protecting his family with a gun or a soldier doing his nation’s duty with a gun, Yuh
says. American masculine men need not be charming, talkative or emotional, as long as
they are tall, dark and handsome. That’s not necessarily true in Asia.
America encourages extrovert personality traits like speaking up and selling yourself
out. “But in China people usually value the strength within oneself,” says Xun Wang, 26,
a native of Nanjing city in Jiangsu province in China, who came to America to complete
a PhD degree in civil engineering at Cornell University. I contacted him after reading
some of his comments on Quora. American girls are attracted to confident machos, he
says, while most Asians esteem knowledgeable and insightful men and don’t mind soft-
spoken and timid boys.
http://cholakovv.com/en/blog/2450 4/15
12/15/2014 Rules of attraction: Why white men marry Asian women and Asian men don't marry white women | Vesko Cholakov
If you ask a man why he is not attracted to a black female, the chances are he will think
of the same stereotypes like someone who likes black females. But the first person will
see the stereotypes with negative connotation, while the second person will see them in
a positive light, says Jovan Campbell, an African-American from Chicago. I chatted with
her on Skype.
“We are [stereotypically] loud, obnoxious and severely in debt,” Campbell says. Most
men interpret a black woman’s independence as a be-in-your-face type of arrogance,
deprived of femininity and “improper” for ladies, she says.
I was quite stricken when I found on the web a thriving community called Asian Men
and Black Women Persuasion (AMBWP). The club is a venue for black females to meet
Asian males. It has a Meetup page, chapters in major American cities and 2,000
members in a closed group on Facebook.
What remains an uncharted territory for most is the “secret gold piece of jewelry” for
Rabia Abdul, 35, an African-American Sunni Muslim from Newton, Massachusetts. I
found her on Asian Men and Black Women Persuasion. Abdul grew up watching Bruce
Lee’s martial art movies, had her first crush on him as a teenager and at the age of 25
“came out” to her friends (she uses “come out” to mean admitting that she is attracted to
Asian men). Previously married for a Vietnamese man, she is now dating a Korean-
American.
Mixing races at schools has most recently also helped remove the stigma on black
females and Asian males. I also spoke with David Lee Chu Sarchet, 24, another member
of Asian Men and Black Women Persuasion. Sarchet went to Colorado’s Harrison High
School, which enrolls 69 percent minority students – 19 percent black, 43 percent
Hispanic and 6 percent Asian. He sees black women just as attractive as whites – and
even a bit more. Sarchet says this is because he went to a diverse school where
interracial dating was the norm.
“I like their bottle figure,” he says. “I like how smooth their skin is.” He then told me in
detail about the appeal of a black female’s “body curves, lips, fuller figure and skin
color.” No matter how old they get, they always look young.”
“I don’t think you can find a society where dark skin is praised over white skin,” she says.
America as a global force politically, culturally and economically defines what’s
desirable. The U.S. was founded and is still ruled predominantly by white men, she
says.
http://cholakovv.com/en/blog/2450 5/15
12/15/2014 Rules of attraction: Why white men marry Asian women and Asian men don't marry white women | Vesko Cholakov
Some women of color approach white men to get better social status. “If a Filipina
marries a westerner, her family sees dollars,” says Sheryl Berardinelli, the wife of film
critic Berardinelli, who is ethnically Chinese and grew up in the Philippines. “It’s a very
desirable match, and the family would pursue it even if the woman isn’t excited by the
idea,” she says.
“The social order with white males on top in this country is alive and well. A white male
can marry anybody he wants and he will never be subject to the same kind of social
and societal disapproval a woman would,” says Cheryl Judice, a Northwestern
University sociology professor and an author of the book “Interracial Marriages
Between Black Women and White Men.”
Since then men have continued to fetishize Asian women. In fact, filmmaker Debbie
Lum’s award-winning documentary “Seeking Asian Female,” which aired on PBS in
2013, follows for five years the life of Steven, an American who exotifies Asians as man-
pleasing sex kittens. Aging and twice-divorced, he digs into the deep web in search of a
young bride from China; he connects with the much younger Sandy from a rural
village in the Anhui province in China, visits her a few times in China and takes her to
the U.S. on a K-1 engagement visa.
Sarchet is half-white but identifies as Asian. He is an offspring of a white father from the
Air Force and a first-generation Taiwanese immigrant. Sarchet cooks burgers for Sonic
Drive-In in Colorado, studies social services at Pikes Peak Community College and
wants to get a graduate degree, get married and have children.
“But if I have daughters, I’m gonna only buy them black Barbie dolls or Asian Barbie
dolls. I don’t want them growing up thinking that they are not beautiful just because
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12/15/2014 Rules of attraction: Why white men marry Asian women and Asian men don't marry white women | Vesko Cholakov
dolls. I don’t want them growing up thinking that they are not beautiful just because
they are not white,” he says.
Sarchet made the decision after seeing a YouTube video that shows how 15 out of 21
black children prefer a white doll when asked to choose between identical white and
black toys. When the interviewer asks why the other toy looks bad, kids
overwhelmingly respond, “Because it’s black.”
The video was produced by a New York-based African-American filmmaker Kiri Davis.
Her 2005 documentary “A Girl Like Me,” which aired on HBO, examines why the
physical appearance of blacks does not conform to society’s standards of beauty.
Davis’ experiment is a remake of the famous 1939 test of psychologist Kenneth Clark
who helped persuade the U.S. Supreme Court in Brown v. Board of Education that
separate public schools for whites and blacks were damaging to society. Clark showed
that children who went to segregated schools were more likely to pick the white doll as
the nicer toy rather than the black doll.
Sarchet, who is Asian and likes black girls, remembers the strange looks waiters gave
him five years ago when he went out on a date with a black woman in a Chinese
restaurant in Canon City, Colorado. “Kinda the look as if they saw an UFO on a corn
field,” he says. His friends also laughed at him. Now, interracial dating is gaining
popularity, especially on the east and west coasts, he says.
“I don’t care about anybody’s approval. People will get accustomed. All my friends are
into interracial relationships now,” he says. “White women tend to be too clean and
overly emotional,” Sarchet says. “They [white girls] don’t have the curves. Most of them
are really skinny. I’m not really into anorexic girls.”
Pew Research Center’s 2010 report on racial attitudes found that nine out of ten
Millennials (the demographic cohort aged 18-28) will approve if a family member
marries someone of a different racial or ethnic group. In contrast, just 55 percent of
50-to-64-year-old and 38 percent of those 65 and older will support such an union.
http://cholakovv.com/en/blog/2450 7/15
12/15/2014 Rules of attraction: Why white men marry Asian women and Asian men don't marry white women | Vesko Cholakov
50-to-64-year-old and 38 percent of those 65 and older will support such an union.
“I didn’t actually start dating Asian guys until Obama was president,” says Campbell
from Chicago. Her great grandfather, who fought in World War II in Germany, had
issues with white people, and Campbell stuck to the unspoken family rule she could
date a guy of another race only “over his [her granddad’s] dead body or if a black man
becomes a president” (which would signal the country was less racist).
Today, Campbell cherishes seeing people’s “eyes bust out of their heads” when they
spot her with an Asian. “I have an adventurous type of spirit and like the idea of being
with something rare,” she says. “I’m attracted to the fact that it’s something not very easy
to get. It’s rare, and if you work hard to keep it, then it’s really special.” As far as her
preferences go: “I don’t have very many expectations other than he being taller than
me so I can wear my high heels,” she says.
***
Huh, this was a long read. If you liked the story, you can follow me on Twitter. Or, share
the article on Facebook and ask your friends what they think about it.
RELATED
Join the discussion…
H2O2 • a month ago
"I have an adventurous type of spirit and like the idea of being with something rare,” WTF she's
referring to her boyfriend as a thing?she just sounds like she's dating a trophy Asian boyfriend for the
novelty of it A
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12 Notes > H2O2 • a month ago
Many men date Asian women for the same exact reasons and even more so. But then of
course, there are a lot fewer white women dating Asian men. Kind of funny but this has been
going on since WW II but very few have ever recognized it.
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Peter > H2O2 • a month ago
She probably means "being in something rare." The "thing" meaning an interracial couple of
Black woman/Asian man, Asian man are definitely not rare lol
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gabe223 > Peter • 25 days ago
Yes, Asian guys are not rare, but to get an asian guy to date a white or black female,
YES IT IS RARE.
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Paul Kishimoto > H2O2 • a month ago
If he's happy with her, and she with him, why find fault with the reasons they give for seeking
each other out?
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flora > H2O2 • a month ago
Yea I'm not appreciating her motivations for dating outside of her race, or her willingness to
follow such a horrible rule set by a racist family member.
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Charles Vise > H2O2 • a month ago
He is a thing. All humans are things. get over it.
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Kyungjun KJ Park > Charles Vise • a month ago
That means you're a thing too!
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MsG > H2O2 • a month ago
It sounds as though her attraction stems from a fetish
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Miju > H2O2 • a month ago
Kinda fell the same. What "thing"!
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shirene > H2O2 • a month ago
I get what she's saying. I'm AF dating half black half hispanic male. I like it because it's
something I choose to have, and it's not usual. Any other route (white or asian) would have
been easier. PLus, it helps that I like him :).
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lana > H2O2 • 17 days ago
It all comes down to money. I do not find white women as being attractive, why must the goal
be to pair men with white woman in all tv shows and commercials? I would love to see more
beautiful women of other races on tv commercials and shows on tv. All you see on tv is white
girls with blacks which to me is boring.
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vince • a month ago
Great read!! Your research was done well. Also really like how you hint at fetishization of races too
because that is just as wrong as racehating. Both serve to dehumanize people. I will say that
Sarchet's overgeneralizations of white and black women's bodies left a REALLY bad taste in my
mouth.
Spell check next time though, so many typos!
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greg > vince • a month ago
The reseach was well done? By what standards?
They seems to have cherry picked a few statements from a small number of interviews to
back up a pre existing notion she had about there being an underlying racism in attraction.
Rather than just the more explainable genetic imperative.
The idea bone structure and skin colour and other physical attributes (about ka how people
look) isn't a factor and it's "on you" is ludicrous as appearance clearly a significant factor.
The fact there might be about a genetic imperative that tends to make certain matches more
or less likely is not even considered as a factor.
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haploid > greg • a month ago
Because the genetic imperative is to diversify. Diversification is the basis on how our
genetics work, it is why we propagate sexually in.the first place. Genetic robustness
is measured by the ability a population can adapt to stress, i.e. variation is key. This is
why mixed raced individuals are less targetable for gene tailored deseases, while on
the other end of the spectrum, inbred children often have difficulty just surviving. The
preservation of 'race' is purely a socio~cultural phenomenon.
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Paul Kishimoto > greg • a month ago
The fact there might be
http://cholakovv.com/en/blog/2450 9/15
12/15/2014 Rules of attraction: Why white men marry Asian women and Asian men don't marry white women | Vesko Cholakov
preexisting notion
Where are your citations?
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Chou Kung > greg • a month ago
Agreed. It is filled with racist attitudes. Why did he call Yoko Ono's spirit "exotic." It
was in keeping with a lot of avant garde art at the time. Fact is, Ono's spirit is more
like "rich princess," as she comes from an extremely wealthy family and could (and
did) do whatever she wanted.
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TokyoMommy > Chou Kung • a month ago
Agreed! Most Japanese people find her extremely bizarre.
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Mynka Mirnoff > greg • a month ago
You don't know the first thing about genetics, do you?
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Scruggs > Mynka Mirnoff • a month ago
Oh my god, with the evolutionary biology. Give it a rest already, people.
Despite LOTS of interest in studying this, we have completely failed to
produce any convincing Empirical evidence for some sort of significant genetic
imperative in attraction or human reproduction.
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Freedom Mushaw > greg • 25 days ago
I actually did research on this topic for population and Hdi The information in this
article (other than the individuals commenting about their personal relationships) is
easily found in many books. It would take international economics, world
history,anthropology, Asian culture and literature classes, African American studies,
Asian American history, Law (some of the stuff cited came from the results of laws)
and the true development of the United States.
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Guest > greg • 25 days ago
Um actually sometimes it is racism. When your family or a person sees a race as a
type of status it is not based on their features. When they disown you because you
are with a x person it is not because of features and when you do as they say you are
aiding the development of it. When a person says to me I don't date such and such
because of their features it is discrimination or pickiness when they mention stereo
types or racial character myths (hostile, eats dogs, thieves, criminals, greasy hair,
monkey like or smells bad) that's racism... Racism is based on behavior and race it
can be discrimination combined with a disgust or hatred based on false or factual
information
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peepsie > Guest • 24 days ago
wait. so for soneone to say they are attracted to the smaller waist, curvier
hips, rounder behind, and fuller lips that African American women tend
statistically to have is fetishization....
but to NOT be attracted to it is racist??
talk about wtf. there's no way to not offend you there... no matter who
someone is attracted to, you've found ways to make it evil and disingenuous.
i do believe tbat racism can influence attractions, but i do also believe that
people have characteristics they are attracted to thst just are..... and its not
some fault of their brain or thinking... i for one have a specific set of features i
gravatate toward. always.
I've watched my 14 yr old and the girls he was drawn to and mentilned were
pretty his entire lofe. he'll have interracial relationships. it's what he's drawn to
and has found pretty ever since he layed eyes on those two yr old chinese
twins in the gas station or the 1st grade classmate with the "beautiful brown
skin, mama. like chocolate and her big brown eyes like mine."
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12/15/2014 Rules of attraction: Why white men marry Asian women and Asian men don't marry white women | Vesko Cholakov
he's still got the features he finds attractive and has since he was a toddler
ablw to vocalize "pretty." at two, at 7, at 12, he wasn't fetishizing anything. he
just knew what, in his eyes, is pretty....
Kert > peepsie • 24 days ago
I don't think you understood what they wrote. They specifically said that being
attracted to or not attracted to certain features is personal preference.
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juniper > vince • a month ago
Agreed. Nicely done.
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disqus_g • a month ago
Reverse racism is still racism. Tired of these type of articles. I'm full Asian it's disgusting how
hypocritical minorities are when it comes to race.
"They [white girls] don’t have the curves. Most of them are really skinny. I’m not really into anorexic
girls."
Reverse racism at its finest.
I'm a good looking Asian guy but was the most socially awkward kid growing up. But for some
reason Asian guys wanted to be my friends while Asian girls liked me. Change my skin color to say
black or brown but keep the personality and instantly these people won't even talk to me. Just
saying...
So now I exclusively date nonAsian girls because I can never know if Asian girls like me because of
my skin color or for who I am. That distrust will always be there. No different from a black girl
questioning if a white guy just likes chocolate. See what I'm saying. It's an issue prevalent throughout
all races so no need to single out whites just because they happened to be historically more
dominant. It's human nature birds of the same feather flock together. Birds of different feathers are
strange. Only the adventurous type dare to try them out and frankly birds of a different feather
see more
Manny Jenkins > disqus_g • a month ago
I think you need to consult your local community college political science professor because I
think you may have the wrong. The term racism is a political construct of systematic
oppression of another based on his or her race. What happens on the dating is more akin to
prejudice which happens with every preference not just race that a person may have.
My sister although 5 feet herself doesn't date anyone under 6 feet. People have very fine
tuned preferences when it comes to dating. She short people picket outside her house?
Socialization will be the only way to change someone's mind.
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disqus_g > Manny Jenkins • a month ago
Ok, maybe I don't understand the word racism. Based on your definition, I don't think
racism against Asians really exists in America today. But what I am talking about are
the racial prejudice and stereotypes, which is what most minorities complain about
anyways.
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ScrumpDlicious > disqus_g • a month ago
Oh my. Yes, systematic racism, as a function of white supremacy, does exist
against Asians and Asian Americans in the United States. It exists within a
larger framework of antiBlack racism, but it is present. Just pay a bit more
attention; those stereotypes, the racial prejudice, etc., are structural and
symptomatic, against Asians and Asian Americans too.
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Raoul Duke > ScrumpDlicious • a month ago
Claims of "white supremacy" are risible. White supremacists are rare as the
dodo. Using the term in 2014 is an exercise of propaganda.
1 △ ▽ • Reply • Share ›
http://cholakovv.com/en/blog/2450 11/15
12/15/2014 Rules of attraction: Why white men marry Asian women and Asian men don't marry white women | Vesko Cholakov
pleasemakesense > disqus_g • a month ago
I am 100% asian. If you don't think racism towards asians exist in america you
are sorely misinformed. Please bring actual facts to the table before talking as
if you know something. Otherwise keep your opinionated and mostly untrue
notations to yourself.
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disqus_g > pleasemakesense • a month ago
Not to the extent that you think it does. Minorities including Asians have a
tendency to find racism where there isn't.
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Freedom Mushaw > disqus_g • 25 days ago
Um actually sometimes it is racism. When your family or a person sees a race
as a type of status it is not based on their features. When they disown you
because you are with a x person it is not because of features and when you
do as they say you are aiding the development of it. When a person says to
me I don't date such and such because of their features it is discrimination or
pickiness when they mention stereo types or racial character myths (hostile,
eats dogs, thieves, criminals, greasy hair, monkey like or smells bad) that's
racism... Racism is based on behavior and race it can be discrimination
combined with a discussed or hatred based on false or factual information. It
will just depend on each individual circumstance. I wish people would stop
generalizing as if there were these check marks that have to be done. Some
people don't date because they are racist others because they are picky.
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J belmont > Manny Jenkins • a month ago
And a political science professor will probably tell you racism is prejudice,
discrimination, and hate based on someone's race. The definition you're talking about
is an unfalsifiable, and therefore inherently invalid, definition that's only used within
antiscience sociology circles.
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SamuEL > J belmont • a month ago
Putting aside your incorrect usage of the word invalid, your antiquated,
community college philosophy of science class needs to emerge from the
Popperian dark ages and learn that falsification in the form you are trying to
use it isn't even taken seriously as a criterion for establishing validity of
scientific claims, let alone trying to establish the internal validity of a definition.
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Nikolay Uspenskiy > Manny Jenkins • a month ago
and you may want to consult a dictionary... polisci is a waste of time
http://www.oxforddictionaries....
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bongo > Manny Jenkins • a month ago
rac·ism
ˈrāˌsizәm/
noun
the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to
that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or
races.
prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race
based on the belief that one's own race is superior.
"a program to combat racism"
synonyms:racial discrimination, racialism, racial prejudice, xenophobia,chauvinism,
bigotry, casteism
"Aborigines are the main victims of racism in Australia"
What you're talking about is actually Cultural Criticism, a neoMarxist ideology that
seeks to redistribute power and influence. Most of the "racism" enveloped by this
definition can't be differentiated from simple Marjoritarianism, which is a facet of all
democratic societies. As the demographics of this country change, so will prevailing
attitudes, slowly over time, regardless of exhortations by the fringe.
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Raoul Duke > Manny Jenkins • a month ago
http://cholakovv.com/en/blog/2450 12/15
12/15/2014 Rules of attraction: Why white men marry Asian women and Asian men don't marry white women | Vesko Cholakov
Raoul Duke > Manny Jenkins • a month ago
The redefinition of "racism" you've given is a recent development and was done for
political reasons. The junior college types latched onto it as a functionmof politics; not
intellectual or academic reasons
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Baakus > disqus_g • a month ago
I agree that the halfAsian guy's statements about the curviness of Black girls were
misguided.
But seriously, you think that minorities are responsible for racism today? You think that Asian
girls are the ones being racist for liking you, so you want to avoid them?
My initial impression of you is that you're trying way too hard to not be that "That Asian Guy."
Just think about it: why do you think minorities "travel in their own clusters/packs?" Do you
think there are legions of White people just begging for these minorities to join their circles, but
these minorities are just thumbing their noses at them? Have you ever been to a frat party?
Who's selfsegregating there? And if minorities abandoned their cultural groups, do you
honestly think that they'd be welcomed as true equals in predominantly White circles?
The question is not why do minorities segregate so much; the question is why do Whites not
accept them as true equals.
Hey, I'm an Asian guy too and I know the value of reaching out beyond allAsian circles,
especially in order to break stereotypes. But I also know the value of having Asian friends
and trying to develop the anemic Asian American culture in the U.S. today.
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Anthony Huang > Baakus • a month ago
Possibly most intelligent comment of all.
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shirene > Baakus • a month ago
Agree! I like branching out, but I"m not ditching my Asian clique. haha! I think it's fun
and it's a true asian american experience to always keep a group of Asian friends to
mock each other's asianess :P, eventhough none of us speak Chinese/Korean/viet to
each other.
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T. G > disqus_g • a month ago
@disqus
I totally agree with you. Reverse racism is still racism.
I am an Asian too (South Asian) who is married to a white guy and I could not believe how
racists my own people were when I wanted to marry him (not my immediate family but family
friends and relatives who likes to put their butt in other people's life). Whites get divorced a lot,
whites are selfish, whites don't care about their family, etc etc. Now they will say its not
racism because if you are a minority who immigrated to West then you cant be racist, you're
just "narrowminded".
I'm not saying racism doesn't happen from whites anymore, yes there are still some racist
whites out there but racism occurs from other races too.
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Bordergeist > T. G • a month ago
The problem is that what you're talking about is not the majority of "racism". Racism
isn't about how one person feels about or acts towards anotherit's primarily about
systemic problems that cause people of one race to be significantly disadvantaged
compared to another. And the simple fact is that in the US, white people are
unbelievably privilegedthey make more money for doing the same jobs, they find it
much much easier to get home and business loans, they are more likely (due to open,
direct discrimination in the 50s70s) to have grown up in communities with better
schools and other support services, and, possibly most importantly, are treated far far
better by the US justice system. Until those facts change, the US (as with basically all
countries) is racist, and needs to be changed.
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disqus_g > Bordergeist • a month ago
A lot of what I say comes from an Asian perspective I realize that other races
may face different issues when it comes to racism.
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http://cholakovv.com/en/blog/2450 13/15
12/15/2014 Rules of attraction: Why white men marry Asian women and Asian men don't marry white women | Vesko Cholakov
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Anthony Huang > disqus_g • a month ago
No it doesnt. I am full Asian and have no idea what youve been spêwing.
Asians wouldnt talk to you if you werent good looking... ok buddy you keep
telling yourself that. You are definitely not coming from an asian perspective.
Dont even know what perspective youre coming from.
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disqus_g > Anthony Huang • 25 days ago
What? Asians talk to me because I'm Asian.
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disqus_g > T. G • a month ago
Exactly, it's a two way street. There are racists apart of every race. I just don't like the
hypocritical attitude that a lot of minorities have.
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eglantier > disqus_g • a month ago
People are reacting poorly to your comments because you have inaccurately
conveyed your argument, but I understand what you have been trying to say
and I agree with much of your point: that while racism in our country is
systematically oppressive and dictated by the marginalization of people of
color by white people it does not mean minorities aren't participating in racism
also, towards white people, other races, and even themselves, which is
internalized racism.
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Diddle > disqus_g • a month ago
But you didn't really make that point. What inflamed me so much is that you
actually suggest that white people are less racist and that we actually live in
the openminded and free society. We don't. That's a con. BUT, I do agree
with the spirit of your comment: prejudice is not the province of white people.
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disqus_g > Diddle • 25 days ago
Not necessarily less racist, but less at creating racial tensions and furthering
racism in today's world.
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