Easy

By

Zak Wilkins

’Easy’ by Joe Swanberg

1 INT - BAR - NIGHT
A small but busy, stylish bar somewhere on River
North. KYLE and HOWARD sit at a table scattered with
drinks, chips and dips.
KYLE:
Oh man, it was terrible! On stage
in front of all these people and
I can’t remember a single one of
my lines, just that stupid song
you’d been singing all day.
HOWARD, (a failed musician slowly adjusting to mid-life)
laughs and begins drumming his fingers against the table
to a tune in his head, drawing the attention of a few
people around the bar.
HOWARD
So, you ...
KYLE:
Burst out into your stupid
fucking song because it’s all I
could think of.
HOWARD erupts into laughter, hugging KYLE tightly.

KYLE:
Please, don’t. Like, i’m a
professional actor - surely I
should be able to improvise
better than that?

HOWARD
It’s the biggest audience to ever
hear one of my songs - I hope it
went down better than the band.

The pair laugh and settle back against their seat.

KYLE:
Oh hey, I was supposed to say.I’m
doing this improv thing at the
CIC next Tuesday, you should
check it out.
HOWARD
Aw man, I’m sorry. I’d love to
but it’s mine and Annie’s
anniversary.

KYLE:
Shit, I totally forgot, don’t
even worry. What are you doing?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2.

HOWARD
We’re heading up to River North
for the day, I’ve been promising
i’ll take her to the poetry
foundation for ages and I’ve had
dinner booked for a week now.
KYLE:
Sounds like somebody’s trying to
soften her up for a certain
question...
HOWARD looks immediately panicked.
HOWARD
Woah, dude, no. We’ve been
together for like three years.
KYLE:
And you’re both in your fourties
now, things have to start
speeding up man. Look at me, I
didn’t think I’d ever have kids
and I’ve had 2 in the past 5
years.
HOWARD
Yeah but you had a second because
you loved your first. I don’t
want to rush into a second
marriage.
KYLE:
You know Annie wants to right?
HOWARD
Yeah, but not now .. she said it
was cool I wanted to wait

KYLE:
Do you definitely want to marry
her?
HOWARD
I don’t know, I’ve not even been
thinking about it!
KYLE:
Yeah, that’s not the kind of
waiting she meant, man.

HOWARD
Nah, if she wanted to get married
she’d tell me ... she’d tell me.
 3.

2 INT - HOME - NIGHT

HOWARD stumbles loudly up the stairs, his jacket falling
off and onto the floor as he tries to sneak around
quietly, not waking ANNIE in the next room. His walls are
lined with old show posters, record sleeves and one
guitar, mounted like an artefact. Conversations and TV
chatter flows through the walls from neighbours.
He fills a glass with water, watching as it overflows and
takes a messy drink. His fingers run over his wall, a soft
noise coming from the guitar.
HOWARD steps into the bedroom; ANNIE lays too still on the
bed, obviously awake. He watches her as he undresses,
struggling to stay balanced. He goes to speak but decides
against it, his face turning sour as he sits heavily on
the bed. He takes a deep breath and lays down.
3 INT - HOME - DAY
ANNIE (can seem naive at points but a deeply caring
friend) sits at the kitchen table - breakfast, a pad and
pen in front of her. HOWARD enters, weary eyed.
HOWARD
Morning

ANNIE
Good morning sweetheart
He leans in to kiss her but she turns her head slightly
ANNIE
Why were you so late back last
night?
HOWARD
I told you I was going out with
Kyle, mourning his opening night
tragedy.
ANNIE
Yeah, I assumed you’d have a few
drinks and at least be back
before midnight.

HOWARD
Well .. I wasn’t? I don’t know,
do you want me to be sorry for
going out with a friend?

ANNIE
No, you know that’s not what I
meant. Fuck Howard,we’ve been
together almost three years and I
still need to ask you to let me
know when you’ll be home?

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 4.

HOWARD
Well maybe I didn’t want to tell
you, maybe I wanted to have a
night off without you breathing
down my neck like Jane?
It’s the final straw, ANNIE throws her spoon at HOWARD and
storms toward the door.
ANNIE
Why don’t you stop hiding behind
old fights with your ex-wife and
realise i’m not her!
4 EXT - HYDE PARK - DAY

ANNIE and ANDI jog along the waterfront.

ANNIE
I’m just sick of being accused of
something that’s not even true. I
feel like a victim of their
relationship sometimes. Like ..
I’m not allowed to have my own
grievances with him because then
i’m just like her. I don’t know,
am I making any sense?

ANDI
Yeah hun, you are. I guess you
can’t even talk to him about it?
ANNIE
That’s the rub though, sometimes
he really seems to be listening
to me for once and like we’ll go
out more for a few weeks and talk
like people but then before long
I just find myself back in the
same place.
They stop, resting on a bench to rehydrate.
ANDI
Now I think that is the one of
the only real differences between
men and women - and I know it
sounds so stereotypical but they
never fucking retain anything
unless they think it’s their
idea. That’s how deeply rooted
their sexist inflated ego goes.
ANNIE
I don’t know about that .. do you
know how long he’s been saying
he’s gonna start a new band? But
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.

ANNIE (cont’d)
two days later he’s certain it’ll
end as badly as the last one. Do
they just hate commitment?

ANDI
I think just two people trying to
live together and deal with their
own emotions, as well as their
partners and then like your kind
of ... joint emotions. It’s a lot
to fucking deal with. Me and Kyle
tried doing the open marriage
thing and that kind of scared us
back to each other for a bit.
Like .. I know I love him and
he’s who I want to be with ...
but there are times when I just
don’t know if I can.
ANNIE rests her foot on the bench, stretching her leg.

ANNIE
So if it’s not working then why
not ...
ANDI
Honestly .. we’ve discussed it.
We’re really trying to make it
work though, we’re going to
couple counselling - which is ...
yeah. But we’ve got the kids and
the house and all of our finances
are tied in together. Plus ...
not to be rude but I wouldn’t
want us to end up like Howard and
Jane.
ANNIE
I really doubt either of you
would let that happen. You’re
both actually mature adults and
if anything you can’t end up like
them - you guys need t at least
keep in touch because of the
kids.
ANDI
Howard and Jane don’t talk? Like
ever?

ANNIE
Not in years. I kind of wish they
would so she can have all of her
arguments back and I can have own
my life again
 6.

5 INT - CHICAGO MAGAZINE - DAY

HOWARD sits at his work desk, decorated in a variety of
band memorabilia, gig tickets and posters and messy
post-its that may have once been coherent. The desk to his
left sits LUCY, her desk is similarly decorated to
Howard’s but with more care and a photo of her and her
family, the frame clearly a homemade mothers-day present.
HOWARD spins absently on his chair, talking to LUCY though
her attention is on her work.

HOWARD
Part of me wishes I was reviewing
it because it would have been
such a good story .. but I also
wouldn’t want to risk his part in
the play. It’s almost like the
critic’s biggest dilemma, what’s
more important - your career or
theirs?

LUCY raises an eyebrow in half-present confusion

LUCY
Or you could just focus on the
positives of somebody’s
performance and not risk
anybody’s jobs.
HOWARD
But that’s not the truth.
LUCY turns from her work to look at HOWARD

LUCY
Of course it is. Acknowledge
negatives, sure, but don’t obsess
on them. When people ask how
Caitlin’s doing in school I tell
them that she’s lead of the
musical, not that I have to go in
and talk to her geography teacher
about her crap grades.
HOWARD
You do?
LUCY
Actually Howard, I think it might
be you. I just told you she’s
lead of the musical but you focus
on the wrong part!
HOWARD laughs softly as he thinks about that.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 7.

HOWARD
Hmm. Sorry. What musical?
LUCY smiles, pulling out a picture of a small girl dressed
as a victorian boy.
LUCY
She’s gonna be Oliver and we’re
gonna be the proudest moms in the
whole school.

HOWARD
Caitlin .. is playing Oliver?
LUCY
Don’t piss me off twice in a
minute, Howard!
HOWARD
Sorry .. i am really, sorry.
LUCY sighs, turning back to her computer and putting the
photo next to her laptop. HOWARD turns to his own
computer, fingers hovering over the keyboard.
HOWARD
Can I ask you a chick question?

LUCY
For fucks sake.
HOWARD
Sorry! Can I ask a ...
relationship question, then?
LUCY sighs, turning back to face Howard.
HOWARD
How do you know if somebody wants
to get married?
LUCY laughs
What?
LUCY
You’ve been married before,
right? How did you know it was
the right time then?
HOWARD
Well .. surely the fact it ended
shows it wasn’t the right time?
But even so .. I don’t know -
we’d left college, had our own
place for a few years - it just
kind of felt like the done thing.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 8.

LUCY
Wait .. what?
HOWARD
What?
LUCY
I don’t know, everything you said
there confused me!

HOWARD
Well why did you marry Sarah?
LUCY
Because I love her! Because I
wanted to start a family and
spend the rest of my life with
her.
HOWARD’s face twists slightly.
LUCY
What now?
HOWARD
Take it from somebody that’s
divorced .. good luck with that!

LUCY
You mean from somebody that also
just admitted they married for
almost all of the wrong reasons?

HOWARD
Well .. we wanted all that stuff,
you know: kids, the picket fence,
the bullshit that never happens.
LUCY rolls her eyes to herself.

LUCY
Wanna know how I knew Sarah
wanted to get married? I asked
her.

6 INT - HOME - NIGHT

ANNIE walks in, HOWARD sits in front of a candle-lit
dinner and smiles, gesturing to the chair opposite him
ANNIE
Wow honey! What’s the occasion?
HOWARD opens his mouth in faux-shock.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 9.

HOWARD
Do I need an occasion to make a
lovely apology dinner for my
girlfriend?

ANNIE laughs as she takes off her coat and sits at the
table.
I wanted to say sorry for this
morning .. and for not telling
you when I’d be home last night.
I know I’ve been really crap
recently, I just ..
ANNIE
Hey, hun it’s okay. You really
don’t need to say any more.
(She gestures at the table)
Honestly, this more than makes up
for eating alone last night.
HOWARD pulls a face like he clearly hadn’t realised that.
It’s okay. Really. But shall we
eat before it all gets cold?
HOWARD laughs and nods, they begin to eat.
HOWARD
How was your day?
ANNIE
It was nice thanks. Me and Andi
went for a run before yoga and I
helped her with the kids for a
bit. I’m thinking I might try use
them in some poems.
HOWARD
Oh?

ANNIE
They’re just really open-minded,
intelligent kids, you know?
HOWARD nods, trying to smile with a mouthful of food.

HOWARD
They’ve got good parents.
ANNIE
Think our kids will be that good?

HOWARD visibly stiffens.

HOWARD
Umm, yeah, I mean ... any kid
that’s half you is bound to be
amazing.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 10.

ANNIE smiles, unaware of Howard’s awkwardness at the

topic.
L-Lucy’s little girl is gonna be
in their school’s production of
Oliver.
ANNIE
Oh she’s the absolute cutest! We
should try get them round some
time -

HOWARD
So you want kids? Soon?
ANNIE looks up immediately, clearly taken aback.

ANNIE
What?
HOWARD
Kids. Our kids. Your kids. My
kids. You want kids?

ANNIE
What do you mean? You know I do,
Howard.

HOWARD
I didn’t realise you meant now!
ANNIE
I never said I want them now!

HOWARD
But clearly you’ve been thinking
about it.
ANNIE sighs, laying down her fork

ANNIE
I’ve not been thinking about
anything, Howard. Yes, I want
kids one day. Yes, I’d prefer
sooner before I’m too old to play
with them. But .. I don’t know.

HOWARD shifts in his chair, wanting to speak but deciding

against it. He stares into his food until he hears a sob.
In an instant he’s crouched by her side, pulling her into
a hug.

HOWARD
Hey, it’s okay. You’re gonna be
able to play with them
She sobs again, hitting his arm softly.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 11.

ANNIE
It’s not about being old! Christ
Howard, there’s clearly bigger
factors to worry about than age.
Why did you freak out so much, I
thought you said you wanted kids?
HOWARD strokes Annie’s hair, attempting to soothe her.
HOWARD
Hey, I .. I do.
ANNIE
(Against his shoulder)
You don’t sound very certain

HOWARD
Annie, I want kids. I’ve always
wanted kids. I just haven’t
thought about it seriously in a
while. I always thought I’d have
them with Jane but then we broke
up and Kyle and everybody started
having theirs and I just kinda
got use to being ’Uncle Howwy’.
ANNIE looks up.

ANNIE
So .. you wanted kids with Jane
but not me?
HOWARD
No, That’s not what I meant!
ANNIE
Then what did you mean? Because
every time I try and be serious
it always goes back to her! I’m a
different person, you have a
different life now!
7 INT - BEDROOM - NIGHT
ANNIE lays in bed, eyes shut and breathing gently, a
notepad and pen next to her. HOWARD enters and sighs
defeated.
HOWARD
Can we not do this please?

He begins to undress. Indistinguishable conversations

drift through the walls.
Look .. I didn’t mean that I
don’t want kids with you. Just
that .. I’ve never really thought
about it.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 12.

He sits on the bed, turning to watch her.

But I mean we’d have to get
married first.
ANNIE’s head shifts slightly and HOWARD stands up
immediately, throwing his shirt across the room. ANNIE
jumps, turning to face Howard.
I knew it! How often? Hmm? How
many times do you pretend to be
asleep when I come in?
ANNIE sits up, waving her hand to dismiss him.

ANNIE
Howard, what - you want to get
married??
HOWARD
(Shouting)
NO! I don’t! Why would I want to
marry somebody that doesn’t help
me try to fix our arguments?
ANNIE’s face breaks at the outburst. She turns away from
Harold.
Well? How are we supposed to ever
solve anything if you’re always
pretending to sleep? What am I
supposed to do with that? I’ve
had a relationship where -
ANNIE stands up, cutting him off and pulling a pair of
jeans from drawers and pulling them on as quickly as she
can.

ANNIE
Well maybe if you ever actually
listened to what I said instead
of just assuming that i’m going
to overreact?? Do you remember
the last time we spoke about
something and you didn’t bring up
your fucking ex or mistakes from
your past that you refuse to let
go of?? I don’t! And it’s fucking
tiring! You know what most people
do when they make a mistake? They
change! And try to do things
better the next time. If you want
to have the same stupid arguments
you had with Jane then why don’t
you? If you want to wallow with
past mistakes then you do that!
She pushes past him, he follows but says nothing as she
gathers her bag and coat. Turning to face him one last
time.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 13.

ANNIE
Well?
HOWARD still says nothing, just continuing to stare Annie
in the eyes. She leaves.