The Boy Must Die

• Our most important theme

• The boy must die in order for the man to live

• This program is about you, and your inner boy, not

about women

• If you can get and internalize what you’re about to

learn, and integrate it into your life, your success with
women will take care of itself
Make A Clear Picture In Your
Mind Of What You Want
• Make a clear picture in your mind of what you want to get out
of this program

• Even though you don’t know exactly what you’re going to

learn, you have an idea of what you came here to get

• Take a minute right now, and think about why you’re listening
to me right now… what led you to this point… and make a
picture of exactly what you want to get out of this program

• Focus on getting your outcome as we work together, learning

how to become men who are naturally attractive to women

• Don’t skip this, if you need to, make a note and come back to
this point… it’s important
This Is Going To Be Heavy
• The first part of this program is going to be heavy material

• I'm going to be talking about a lot of things that you might want
to avoid hearing about

• You might be thinking to yourself "How the hell is this going to

help me meet more women". That's good

• That's exactly where you're supposed to be

• In my typical style, I'm going to paint a lot of broad strokes to

begin with, then wrap up at the end with some hard-hitting, ultra-
useful things for you to take and use

• And you're going to be introduced to a couple of guest speakers

who will take you to the next level and really tie all of this
material together

• Will you make the commitment to stay with me?

Review This Program At Least
Three Times Over The Next 90 Days

• Review the program a minimum of once per month for

three months, so you HEAR it all

• Work with the materials and exercises at least one hour

per day for 90 days in a row to build a solid HABIT

• Make a personal commitment to get the most from

your investment… you spent the money and the time,
and you deserve to get back as much as you can for it
The Origin Of This Program
• I was talking with my good friend Rick the last night of filming my
Mastery Program… keep in mind, that program is all about going to
deeper levels in order to really become a master in the area of women
and dating

• You’ve probably seen Rick on some of my programs… he’s someone

that a lot of men look up to when it comes to understanding women

• Rick said something very profound to me…

• He said that as he talked to the guys in the program, it was obvious to

him that these guys had never learned what it meant to be a MAN

• They had no concept of what it even meant

• They didn’t understand what differentiated a man from a boy, what

qualities women are attracted to in men, or how to develop into a man

• So I started to think about this point, and I realized that there was
something deeper going on here, and that he had a great point

• This program is the result of the thinking I did after that conversation…
How Do You Define “Being A Man”?

• What does “being a man” mean to you?

• How does one BECOME a man?

• What are the qualities that a MAN has?

• What are the qualities that a MAN lacks?

• What happens if you grow up without

gaining the qualities of a man?
A Burning Desire For Manhood
• Many men feel an invisible barrier to becoming a man… and
that barrier is magnified by the inability to attract women
by just BEING

• In other words, a man wants women to want to be around

them without having to DO anything to “fake” who he is

• Men have a deep, powerful longing to have women want to

be with them just because they do… and men have a dark
grief that follows them everywhere when they don’t have
that special something that makes women want to be with
them “for no reason at all, just because they enjoy being
around you”

• If a man is actually a grown-up boy, then he not only can’t

see the path to fix the problem, he doesn’t even know the
path EXISTS
Men Aren’t Men Anymore
• I believe that most of the people we refer to as “men” today are only
called that because of their age and their size

• I don’t think that the word we’re using (“man” or “men”) has anything
to do with the deeper meaning of the word “man”

• The word “man,” in this context, is used to refer to an “adult male” or

“adult male human being,” more specifically

• But what exactly is an “adult man”? Is it a man that’s over a certain

size or age?

• Or is it a man that has matured past a certain point in life? Or both?

• More importantly, what if one of them happens, but not the other?

• In other words, what if a man gets older and bigger, but not more
mature at the same time?

• Or worse, what if some vital part of the maturation process that’s

usually present in the external world isn’t there at a critical point in a
man’s development… so that he winds up stuck at a certain point
either psychologically, emotionally, developmentally or all?
We Were Never Shown
The Way To Manhood
• By virtue of being born relatively recently, in modern cultures,
most of us men were basically not offered the process of
“becoming a man” the way it evolved over literally millions of
years

• We missed the initiations, the challenges, and the EARNING of

our manhood

• We grew, but we didn’t grow up

• We want to be men, but we didn’t get the chance, and we

don’t know how to “go back” and make it happen

• Even worse, we’ve recently been going through a cultural

phenomenon called “the men’s movement” that, while doing a
lot of good, has obscured the reality that we are,
fundamentally, MEN
More Æ
 We Were Never Shown
The Way To Manhood
• And yes, we should learn how to deal with them in an authentic,
healthy way

• But that’s not what makes a woman feel ATTRACTION for a man…
No way

• Feeling that there’s something missing, and wanting to fill that

void is bad enough

• What makes it unbearable is that the one thing that we want at

every level more than anything, attention and adoration from
women, is tied directly to this particular issue

• Without this issue handled, the only way to get attention from
women is becoming a master of PRETENDING to be someone…
and using techniques to cover up your inability to be who you are

[Continued]
The Critical Missing Elements
• Didn’t have a father around, so we had to be the man
and raise ourselves

• Were emasculated by our overbearing fathers

• Were spoiled by good-intentioned mothers

• Had no process of initiation at that critical time

• We went through “pseudo-initiations” like sports,

boot-camp, gangs and fraternities

• We made it to adulthood, alone, missing a critical set

of elements… with no map or hints to find them
The Mysterious Missing Manhood
• As a result of not being shown the way to manhood at a critical point in our
lives, many of us have a feeling of missing something inside… and that
something can’t be described very well with words

• We know that we SHOULD feel a certain way, and we want to feel that way…
maybe it’s strength, or being a protector, or having earned the right to be a
leader of others… whatever it is, it’s like that nagging feeling that never
quite makes it into normal consciousness… it’s like the “splinter in your
mind” that Morpheus talks about in the movie The Matrix

• A woman can sense instantly if a man is “missing” his manhood

• And if he is, then the possibility for attraction or a relationship is instantly

not an option in her mind… and she can’t control it

• An inner switch flips inside of her, and it creates an invisible barrier… and
even though that process and the barrier is invisible, it’s still very real, and
very obvious

• The Mysterious Missing Manhood is as painful to women as it is to men… and

unless you learn how to develop your Missing Manhood, you will go on
feeling lonely, out of control, and desperate… and nothing you try will fix it
Neoteny And Maturity
• As I was studying human development over the last few
years, the term “neoteny” kept coming up

• Neoteny is a term that means “retaining juvenile features

into adulthood”

• Humans are born more “premature” and helpless than most

mammals

• Many mammals can literally get up and run for their lives
within minutes of being born

• Human babies are literally helpless for YEARS after being

born

• We are born premature because our huge heads that hold

our huge brains can’t fit through the birth canal if they’re
any bigger
More Æ
 Neoteny And Maturity
• We retain our physical juvenile features for many years as
we develop into adulthood…

• Is it possible that we could be prone to retain our juvenile

INTERNAL psychological and emotional features as well?

• Is it possible that this process of being born immature and

staying immature longer can lead to a PATTERN and HABIT
of staying immature?

• Is it possible that we become psychologically

HABITUALIZED in the patterns of dependence on our
mothers for everything from attention to love to affirmation
and everything in between?

[Continued]
The Boy Must Die
• The boy must die for the man to live
• The caterpillar must die for the butterfly to live… a
total transformation… not partial
• "Grown Up Boy" syndromes... tyrant, bully, whiner,
vicky, etc.
• Think of the ways that YOU manipulated when you
were a boy
• Now think of the ways that you still do these things,
only older, more shrewd, more “rationalizing to self”
and more sophisticated versions
• The first step is seeing and admitting where you’re
still acting like a boy
Man Psychology
And Boy Psychology
• The “Inner Boy-Inner Man” continuum

• We all have a part of us that’s a boy. It’s a

continuum. You can be anywhere on the
continuum

• Boy, freedom from responsibility… enjoys, has

fun with society

• Man, responsible… structure, carry the load of

the family and society
Some Questions To Start
Opening The Door To Maturity
• What are you not admitting?

• What are you running away from?

• What ideals are you clinging too tightly to about yourself,

women, or relationships?

• What do you need to realize and accept?

• Where are you accepting second rate thinking and behavior

from yourself?

• Where are you not being authentic in life?

• Where are you not demonstrating integrity to yourself?

• What are you hiding?

• WHY are you hiding?

The Initiation Process
• Primitive cultures universally practice initiation
processes that boys must successfully pass through
on their way to manhood

• It seems that this need for a formal transition that

is assisted by older men is hard-wired into us, but
perverted when no ritual is present

• The boy that grows up but isn’t initiated into

manhood often winds up living a life fighting
demons of childhood rather than developing into a
fulfilled man
It’s OK To Be A Man
• In my original book “Double Your Dating,” I wrote a section
called “It’s OK To Be A Man”

• The idea here is that many men have learned to be

unconsciously ashamed of their desires and natural drives…
and to repress or even hate them

• When you try to fight or even deny your own nature and
drives, it will come back to bite you in the ass later… in a
million ways

• And when it comes back later, it won’t be a simple drive to

screw a woman’s brains out… it will be a complex of neurotic
thought/feeling/behavior patterns that are very difficult to
unwire

• You must accept yourself, embrace the fact that you’re a man
and you have a nature, and then learn to observe all that
happens… from sexual impulses to killer instincts… and harness
the power that they imply
The Men’s Movement And
The Women’s Movement
• The women’s movement seems to me to be the process of
naturally masculine women getting together and saying “you
should act more masculine” to other women
• The men’s movement seems to me like a bunch of naturally
feminine men getting together and saying “you should act
more feminine” to other men
• It appears to me that the “typical” woman that’s a strong
feminist/advocate of the women’s movement and the “typical”
man who’s a strong supporter of the men’s movement are not
TYPICAL at all
• I think that each of these “typical” members of these groups
represents maybe 10% or 20% of the ACTUAL population
• I believe that this is why both of the movements ring true for
all people at some level, but generate more digs, sarcastic
remarks, and cynicism than anything else… probably in the
ratio of 80%/20% or so
The Anima And The Animus
• All humans have at least some structures of the opposite sex
present inside of them
• The Anima: The female archetypal structures in the man
• The Animus: The male archetypal structures in the woman
• As men, we’re taught to repress the Anima inside of us
• Common themes among men: Discomfort in the presence of
men who act weak and looking down upon homosexual men
because they are seen as somehow “less than a man”… gay
jokes, etc.
• Your Animus is there… if you repress it, it will come back to
haunt you
• Repressing vs. Integrating
• Accept – Integrate – Transcend
Women That Piss You Off
• Have you noticed how many women these days are using their
youth, looks, sexuality, and power to arrogantly display their
superiority?

• Shirts "Bitch" or "I'm not in the mood to be stared at"

• Doesn't that just piss you off?

• This isn’t a result of women being women, it’s the result of

women not growing up… being stuck in the “girl-woman”
phase… then having other girl-women write books for them
 Boys, Men, Attracting Women
Can’t Attract Women Can Attract Women

Avoids and represses the fact, Spoiled behavior, cheater

doesn’t confront because it’s too manipulator, arrogant, tyrant
scary, low self-esteem,
Boy depression, image of “loser”

Feels less than other men, has a Strength, protector, leader,

deep grief that he usually won’t
address that can be
Man characterized by the phrase “I
am a failure at one of my basic
intrinsic purposes”
mentor to other men, source of
grounding energy, on his
purpose
Moving With, Moving Against,
Moving Away From, Moving Toward
• Child
• Adolescent
• Adult

• Mature Adult
• Talk about the idea of these being the four stages you go
through on your way to maturity… and on your way to
focusing on what you want in your life, not what you don’t
want… and pro-actively getting what you want rather than
being activated and moving against others, or moving away
from what you don’t want… or moving with others blindly
• If you get "stuck" in any of these modes, it can be very
negative to your life results and personality.
Trying To Get The Love Or
Approval Of:
• Father
• Mother
• Men
• Women
• List the places where you’ve been unconsciously trying to get attention
and approval from each… make note if this has been for a long time
• List the ways which you subtly give others power over you by putting
them above yourself, and the traits that trigger this unconscious
process
• List what you do to subtly try to get attention and approval
• Now admit to yourself how and why these things are unhealthy
• Now mentally and emotionally let go of them
• Allow yourself to mature and become a healthy adult man who can
respond consciously instead of reacting unconsciously
Interacting With Other Men
• It’s important to become a man who can comfortably interact
with other men

• Most men don’t have healthy relationships with their fathers,

so they don’t get a good start on this road at the beginning

• My own situation with my father

• Exercise from Mastery, and how men reported feeling

uncomfortable being close to masculine energy… had a gut
level response

• Consciously address this in your own life, become comfortable

with other men around you… it will free up mental energy for
other things
Stay On Your Own Course
• Men often try to follow a woman who doesn’t want to lead, and when
she doesn’t lead, the man tries to convince her to lead with questions
and body language that seeks approval

• Most men orient themselves by, following, and seeking approval of the
woman. She leads, they follow... in fact, she isn't even leading, but
they TRY to follow. They try to make her lead. This is a horrible
mistake.

• Diagram Of The Arrows

• This is a very simple testing system that guarantees a woman almost

perfectly accurate results – any guy can luck through or fake his way
past one test, but just like your chances of flipping a coin and having it
come up heads 10 times in a row are pretty close to 0%, so are your
chances of passing 10 test by a woman in an evening or even over
weeks or months

• Stay on your course, even though she is all over the map

• Let her reorient her body, behavior, moods, responses, communication

to yours

• Don’t back pedal, change, explain, or try to get her to lead

The Illusion Of Control
• Your conscious mind has the illusion that it’s in control, and
you naturally assume that a WOMAN'S conscious mind is in
control as well (this just makes sense)

• So, living in this double illusion, you naturally and intuitively go

to work using your conscious mind to convince her conscious
mind to like you... not realizing that it's your “older” brain and
systems that are actually controlling you, and that hers are
controlling her

• A woman is using the clues she gets from you to make an

assessment of what’s REALLY going on inside of you, and who
you REALLY are

• When you realize that you’re not in conscious control of what

you’re doing most of the time, and that hers isn’t either, you
can begin seeing things for what they really are, and making
dramatic progress rapidly

• You stop blaming and acting victimized, and you can begin
handling the situation like a mature adult
The “Critical Counterintuitive”
Concept
• Humans tend to follow certain “pre-programmed” or “hard-
wired” thought, behavior, communication sequences. Many of
them seem “intuitive” or “obvious” to the person who’s doing
them… even though they are NOT the best thing to do in the
situation. Gambling more when you have something definite to
lose over having something definite to win is an example.

• These “built-in mistakes” keep us from achieving greatness…

and with a little work, we can take off this “success governor”
and learn to improve these issues on an ongoing basis… which
will ultimately accrue and become massive success.

• When the herd is doing the intuitive to their own disadvantage,

and a few know how to do the counterintuitive to their own
advantage, there is often a huge profit or gain to be made.
Think the stock market, investing long-term vs. short term,
challenging attractive women, etc.
Taking Conscious Control Of
The Self Improvement Process
• Make the unconscious process conscious by learning how it
works

• Recall times when you’ve personally made a mistake or had a

success as a result of this process

• See the connection between doing the “Critical

Counterintuitive” thing and either avoiding un-useful outcomes
or achieving a useful outcome

• Imagine future situations, and mentally rehearse doing the

counter-intuitive so it triggers automatically in your mind

• Purposely put yourself into situations that either naturally allow

you to practice, or unnaturally allow you to practice (contrived
if you have to) so you’re programmed to do the right thing in
the future
More Æ
Taking Conscious Control Of
The Self Improvement Process
• For instance, if you unconsciously hurt others to
make yourself feel better temporarily, or you say
yes to all requests from women… or you don’t do
the thing in a situation to trigger attraction, use
this model.

• The KEY here is learning the “Critical

Counterintuitive” thing to do.

• This is a concept that I need to apply to business,

psychology, self-improvement, our bigger-picture
systems, etc.
It’s Easy To Forget
What You’re Doing
• It's easy to lose sight of what you wanted when you started on
the road to success
• It's easy to forget WHY you're doing what you're doing
• It's easy to forget what you enjoy when you reprogram
yourself to be addicted to the outcome you’re seeking (whether
it’s work, women, success, whatever)

Exercise:
• Remember how to enjoy your life, list those things you enjoy
most
• Remember how to enjoy the things you enjoy doing
• Remember WHY you’ve chosen the path you’re on, and stay in
touch with it
EXERCISE: Seeing The Difference Between
What You Want And What Makes You Happy
• List 10 things you want, quickly… these can be material
things, experiences, goals, whatever… anything you want
for yourself
• Examples might be a new car, spending more time with
your best friend or friends, or traveling more
• Now write down a number from 1-10 that represents the
improvement in your life quality that the thing will bring
• Notice how the things that will bring you the highest
returns aren’t the things that cost money… they’re the
things that you just have to DO
• Think about how different you will feel, act, and be if your
life were more full of those things that bring you the best
returns
• Write down three things that you’re going to do within the
next seven days to include more of the things that you can
do right now to make your life great
Take Personal Responsibility
• Take personal responsibility for yourself, your thoughts,
your situation

• Learn to see how the choices you’ve made have led you
to where you are

• Refuse to be a victim

• Value the lesson more than the experience of learning it

• Refuse to give anyone the power to take your joy from

you
The Importance Of Dad,
From Robert Bly
• “When a boy's psyche is not in the presence of his
father, a hole forms... and hole begins to fill
automatically. Not with nice things and teddy bears...
but DEMONS it fills with demons... demons of older
men. And you don't trust the older men... you want
to shoot them down... demon's can't be killed. You
can't kill the demon. All you can do is educate him…”
Sudden Success Syndrome
And Resulting Resentment
• When someone has a success in life, such as winning the
lottery or inheriting money, most people around them think
that all their problems should be solved

• We guys tend to think that things like money, power, and

success with women should give a guy enough that he
should be happy and never complain about anything

• The “how would you know” response

• We think that the solution WE want (getting lots of money

or lots of women) would make us happy, therefore we
expect them to be happy

More Æ
 Sudden Success Syndrome
And Resulting Resentment
• This is unrealistic and immature

• Money, power, and success with women NEVER

solves inner problems, and NEVER creates happiness
by itself

• A mature man understands that he is responsible for

his own results… he is neither envious of the success
of others, angry when a successful person expresses
problems, or living in a fantasy world thinking that if
he had success in a particular area of his life that all
of his other problems would be “solved”

[Continued]
Your Inner World Exercise
• Remember a kid from childhood that you really liked,
then one you didn’t like

• Remember what you liked about your dad when you

were little, remember what you didn’t like

• Think about what you admire in men right now, think

about what you hate

• Now think about what you love about women, and

what you hate
The Circle Of Male Development

• Men give away their power to women to get approval

• Women don't want men who give away their power

• Men keep their power, and attract women

• Once a man learns how to keep his power, he

doesn't want the women he wanted before
Different Levels Of Energy
• Think of these different levels: An ignition switch, a starter, a
motor, a car

• If the KEY is broken, then you cannot take advantage of the

power of the starter… and thus you can’t take advantage of the
power of the motor, the power of the car. All of that power
becomes inaccessible over something as small as a key. The
four thousand pound piece of metal is unusable because you
don’t have the four ounce piece of metal.

• Leverage points like this exist in humans as well

• Most people try to work on the car when there’s a problem,

they don’t look to see if the problem is at a different level

• The “energy” that powers the archetypal structures may be far

lower than the energy that powers a muscle, but think of the
leverage difference
A Look At Power
• Where is your own personal power based?

• Is your competition with other men based in a powerful,

masculine, secure maturity… or is it based in a weak,
insecure, over-compensating immaturity?

• Do you respect mature, adult men and treat them as

worthy allies or adversaries, or do you secretly harbor
thoughts of superiority?

• Is your ability to persuade based on whining, tyranny, or

tantrums… or is it based on credibility, authenticity, and
wisdom?

• Is your personal power rooted in scarcity or abundance?

Questions About Your Father
• What have you not communicated to your father that
you've needed to let him know?

• What have you not admitted?

• What have you not said?

• What has he not said to you that you've needed to

hear?

• What have you always wanted to hear from him?

• What have you hated hearing from him

A Thought From Robert Bly
• Once you connect all of the parts of your conscious
and unconscious mind, develop yourself to a certain
level, and become authentic and transparent, you’re
very likely to feel a connection to a sense of grief
inside of you

• “Following the grief down” can become a source of

fantastic enthusiasm for life… and it can lead to a
feeling of connection, groundedness, and purpose
that most men are not in touch with

• It’s mature to allow all of these parts of you to

connect together, wherever they may lead you
Grief Is The Doorway To Feeling
• Robert Bly has taught me that “grief is the doorway to feeling”

• In other words, to connect to your true feelings, you’ll probably

need to allow yourself to feel grief FIRST

• Men are taught to act tough, and not show their feelings

• The first feeling that comes up for many men in emotional

situations is grief… but since they’ve never been taught to
recognize, identify, and allow themselves to experience it, they
slam the door right there… as soon as the grief starts

• This effectively protects a man from his deeper feelings, because

he won’t even allow the “doorway” to stay open

• I’ve had several experiences over the last few years that have led
to me feeling the unmistakable feeling of grief

• Only after allowing myself to experience the grief, feel through it,
and continue “downward” (as Robert Bly says), have I been able to
experience other, more subtle emotions
Allow Yourself To Grieve
• A mature man can grieve consciously, and know it’s a
healthy process

• It’s important to allow yourself to feel the emotion of

grief when it presents itself… it’s a doorway to a much
richer emotional life

• Where have you stopped yourself from feeling grief?

• Where should you allow yourself to grieve, and find

out what’s after?

• What can you do so you remember to allow yourself

to feel the emotion of grief when it comes up for you?
Responding To
Emotional Imprints
• We remember things that happened in the presence
of emotion

• We often respond to our emotional imprints of

situations from the past than to the actual event
taking place in front of us

• Becoming a man is about breaking those connections,

living in the present, and treating each situation as a
new one… a new opportunity
The Biggest Challenges In Life

• To Observe Yourself

• To Know Yourself

• To Change Yourself

• To let the boy die, and the

conscious man grow in depth
Individuation
• Carl Jung used the term “Individuation” to describe the process of
reaching your potential and becoming an integrated, mature person

• When you get in touch with your Unique Ability and Personal Path in
life, then you make it a priority to stay on your path and work as
much as possible developing and focusing your Unique Ability, an
interesting cycle starts

• You become more mature on a continual basis, and you begin the
process of learning similar things over and over again, but getting
different lessons from them

• As you progress, develop, and integrate different aspects of your

personality, you literally evolve

• The more evolved and integrated you become, the more

individuated… and the more you can both see your infinite
connection with others at the same time as your individual
differences and unique combination of gifts

• The power comes from being able to see both and hold both in your
mind… to embrace the paradox and allow it to give you energy
The More Personal,
The More Universal
• My mentor Gerry Ballinger taught me something that
he learned from his mentor… that the more personal
something is to you, the more universal it probably is

• Realize that each of your insecurities is common, then

be transparent… it’s liberating

• Realize that your own individuality is a gift that you

can appreciate more than anyone… so appreciate it
and use it

• Remember, The More Personal, The More Universal

Deserving,
Permission To Be A Man
Understand Men, Then Yourself, Then
Women, Then Individual Women
• Understand men first
• Understand yourself second
• Understand women third
• Understand the individual woman you’re dealing with last
• When you understand all four levels, you communicate in a
different way
• Now that I have some understanding of all levels, and can
communicate this way to women that I’ve just met, they
get an instant sense that we are connected… and they tend
to become riveted to me
• It’s obvious that you get something that other men don’t
get
• I have a connection with women that could stand any
length of time between conversations and pick back up at
any point in the future
The Secret Language Of Manhood
• When you become a man, an adult, an independent, strong man
who is on his own path, you begin to communicate differently. You
move differently, you hold yourself differently, you respond to
situations differently and you use different words

• It’s easy to spot people who don’t get it. It’s easy to spot people
who are trying to fake it. It’s also easy to spot people who do get it

• Great guitar players know another great guitar player by listening

to just a few notes. They also know an amateur in just a few notes

• A woman knows a real man…

• I got this idea reading about venture capitalists (VCs) and selection
on Seth Godin’s website. I’d send a simple letter to a VC: I have a
business that I’ve built from scratch that’s been profitable from the
beginning, has no debt, and is the first mover in a huge new
category. It would get their attention. I know how to communicate
with players… but how?
Certainty
• People like certainty

• There is none in reality

• If you can provide it, represent it, communicate it, you’ll be more attractive

• If you’re uncertain about what you’re doing, others won’t feel compelled to
follow you, they’ll doubt you

• People will flake, and they’ll blame it on you if they feel uncertain about you

• If a woman thinks you’re secretly a Wussbag… that you might only be

ACTING cool… but underneath you’re a clingy, insecure guy just waiting to
smother her, she’s going to bail…

• If you can communicate a strong, stable, secure, masculine maturity, a

woman will be less likely to flake out on you because she has more certainty
about you

• The paradox here is that it’s often good to tease women, play a little bit when
they ask questions, etc. You might ask “How can you resolve the ideas that
you want to create certainty about who you are while at the same time you’re
saying to keep her uncertain about things like what you do for a living or
where you live?”

• My answer is simple… she wants certainty about her experience with you…
that it’s going to be enjoyable to her… not about the details of your life
Feature Your Insecurities
Until You’re Over Them
• Practice making cocky jokes about them when you
first meet a woman and are flirting

• “This is never going to work out, you’re not good at

arguing, and I overcompensate for being short by
acting arrogant… so we’d always argue, and I’d
always win”
The Feeling Of Loss
If You’re Not Necessary
• Many men feel “left out” if a woman wants to do something alone or
with friends other than him

• Get over the automatic response feeling of jealousy or loss or

sadness if she’s enjoying or looking forward to enjoying doing
something without you

• Cultivate ability to want to do things without HER… and enjoy them

• These are especially important when it comes to women you aren’t

already with, or women that are new in your life

• This concept actually applies to all relationships in life

• It’s mature to allow others to live their lives and enjoy experiences
without you… without you feeling that you’re losing something

• The other side of this coin is to allow YOURSELF to live your life and
enjoy your own experiences without the feeling that you need
others to validate your enjoyment
Mistake:

Acting based on what you

think she’d think if she knew
what you were thinking
Jung’s Hero’s Journey
• The real magic of becoming a man is about
becoming a man who helps other men develop and
evolve… to help them individuate
Clarity
• Clarity of personal path or mission, vision, values is
attractive
Maturity Vs. Pretending,
Forethought Vs. Manipulation
• A sign of a mature man is forethought (Aristotle)

• Part of maturity is thinking future events all the way through

with discipline… instead of guessing, wishing, and leaving
things to luck

• When you’ve thought scenarios through, you can move forward

with strength and confidence, knowing that you’ve planned for
most of what could happen, and the odds are on your side

• By doing this, it frees up your mind to deal with the exceptions

as they arise

• With women, a mature man has thought through all the

possible situations and scenarios, and has planned accordingly

• The immature, Boy-Man thinks that he’s done the same, only
it’s not the same at all
More Æ
Maturity Vs. Pretending,
Forethought Vs. Manipulation
• The Boy-Man uses tricks and techniques to manipulate, and
only lives for the moment and instant gratification

• The test you can apply anytime is simple: Ask yourself if what
you’re doing feels manipulative, sneaky, or dishonest in any
way. If it does, they you’re allowing the Boy-Man inside of you
to run things… which will ultimately lead you to a feeling of less
fulfillment, not more…

• If the feeling inside of you is one of strength, authenticity, and

wanting to add to your woman’s life experience and joy, then
you’re on the right track
Becoming A
Man Meas Giving Up:
• Throwing emotional tantrums to get attention

• Correcting people because you need to feel important

• Disagreeing with people to show your superiority

• Being a "know it all" so people will give you approval

• Saying and doing things to win attention and

approval, not add value and genuinely help a
situation
Keeping Death In Mind
• Keep death in mind daily

• In order to do this in a way that will be helpful, you’ll

need to overcome fear of death, and fear of pain
leading to death

• These fears are so strong because thousands of years

ago they helped us avoid things and situations that
might actually cause death

• Today, almost all of those things are gone, so we can

USE the thought of death as a tool to enjoy LIFE
more
Death Does Not Have To Be Scary
• When you overcome the fear of death, and the fear of
physical pain leading to death, you have now proven
to yourself that you can overcome the biggest fear in
life

• There’s a level PAST overcoming your fear of death…

that level is actually embracing the reality of death,
and becoming familiar with the thought

• Once you do become familiar with it, and you’ve

addressed your issues around it, you can literally
begin to use it as a source of strength, joy, happiness
Why Death?
• Because humans primarily do two things with their minds:
make meaning and ascribe value… these are fundamental
activities

• In order to make meaning and ascribe value, we need a

reference point to start with

• Every meaning and value is relative to something (thanks,

Einstein)

• When you conquer your fear of death, and keep it in the

forefront of your mind, it gives you the ultimate context for
considering everything

• When compared against death, the most painful and

uncomfortable situation becomes a gift… the meaning of
anything becomes positive, and every aspect of life leads to
gratitude

More Æ
 Why Death?
• When considered in the context of death, lessons become clear
in all situations… and you become thankful for the lessons
immediately (or even in the midst of the previously painful
process of learning by trials and tribulations)

• With life as the context, death becomes a repressed, ultimately

haunting fear

• With death in mind and carefully considered as the context, life

becomes joy

• Read from Dying Well, notice how things feel after

[Continued]
The Heart-Connected Killer
• My friend Amber Lupton spoke at my Mastery Program (which I
highly recommend), and introduced me to a concept called “The
Heart-Connected Killer”
• At first, this doesn’t make sense… how can a man be connected to
his heart, and a killer at the same time?
• The answer is that BOTH are inside every man… the killer is in there…
and the compassionate, protecting, loving man is in there too
• A woman needs to feel your strength and power while she’s feeling
that you are connected to your heart and emotions… but she also
needs to trust that if something were to happen, you would kill to
protect her without hesitation
• How can a woman tell if you’re a Heart-Connected killer?
• One way is to let her know that she’s safe, and another is to ravish
her
• What are some others?
Live Now
• Remember, your body will die; embrace it and
consider it often. Then live the life YOU want to live

• Take personal responsibility for your life, your

results, and your happiness

• Every day, wake up, choose what you want to do

that day, and do it

• Do things that get you into your body, and into the
moment
Most Men Weren’t
Happy Single First

• Most men in relationships or marriage, did not

enter them from a place of previously being
content alone, and PREFERING not to be with a
woman… then Choosing to enter into the
relationship
Build A Happy Single Life
• Most men: Unhappy alone Æ Find a woman to cling to Æ Hold on
too tightly, give away power, destroy attraction in relationship

• Switch to: Build a happy single life Æ Prefer and choose to be

single Æ Choose a relationship Æ Choose a marriage or long-term
relationship

• This is all about becoming a man who has such a great life in and
out that he WANTS to be single first

• Make your single life so fantastic that you almost don't have time
for a relationship

• Build a life that you love

• Fill your life with so many things you enjoy that make your life
better that you literally have to think about how to fit a woman in

• Enter a relationship to improve your already great life, not to be

your life

• If you're in a relationship, build a personal life to enjoy on your

own, so you can be your best when you’re with your mate
Elements Of A Healthy,
Masculine Self-Image
• Self Concept

• Self Assurance

• Self Interest

• Self Comfort
Outward Signs Of A Real Man
Comfort in the presence of...
• Class, style, refinement
• Beautiful women
• Power and high-status people
• Paradox, uncertainty

Composure in the face of...

• Competition form other men
• Loss or setback
• Conflict or drama
• Tests from women

Clear path, values, boundaries when dealing with...

• Other in influential positions
• Women they’re dating
• Other men
• Their own life
EXERCISE: Ask Yourself
• What makes me uncomfortable, and what’s the
underlying reason for it?

• Where do I lose composure in life?

• Where do I reveal a lack of clarity in my path,

values, boundaries?
Seven Virtues And Seven Vices
• Love/Envy

• Temperance/Gluttony

• Humility/Pride

• Patience/Anger

• Justice/Greed

• Faith/Lust

• Fortitude/Sloth

• Your unique combination of these virtues and

vices makes up your CHARACTER.
Qualities Of Male Maturity
• A balanced perspective

• An attitude of non-judgment

• An understanding that everyone has a positive

intention

• A powerful sense of self

• An air of stability… the deep root, the strong

foundation

• TRUSTWORTHINESS
Breeding Distrust
• I’ve often wondered to myself why so many young women lead
two lives

• In one life, they’re a perfect, proper, innocent daughter

• In the other life, they’re a promiscuous, herd-following, two-

faced, manipulative, distrusting girl-woman

• Is it something natural that happens to all women at some

point in their lives?

• Why is it that some women don’t go through this phase, and

instead stay close and honest with their parents and
themselves?

More Æ
 Breeding Distrust
• I think part of the answer might lie in the common practice of
telling daughters that doing drugs makes you go crazy, sex
isn’t enjoyable and if you have it you’ll be a slut, and being
interested in “generation gap” things isn’t a good idea

• What happens when that girl, feeling alienated from her non-
understanding parents, tries drugs, sex, and defiant fun
things?

• Of course, she finds out that they feel GREAT… which leads to
her not only thinking that her parents were lying to her and
must not love her (otherwise they’d have been honest with
her), but also that they couldn’t possibly understand her…

• Which leads to a “double life”

[Continued]
Dealing With A Women
Who Has A Double Identity
• As a mature man, you will encounter many attractive young
women who have these “double identities”

• Unfortunately, most men fall into the trap of seeing only the
“angel” in a woman, and not seeing the “other” side of her
personality… and even worse, not suspecting that it’s even
possible that it could be there

• One mark of a mature man is the combination of his ability to

see and accept the reality of any and all “sides” of a woman, as
well as the ability to make a woman feel accepted for who she
is

• Incidentally, this does not imply that a man must “tolerate” or

“accept” second-class behavior, low morals, or poor ethics
from a woman
The Concept Of
The Renaissance Man
• Leonardo Da Vinci was the “original” Renaissance Man

• Women complain that there are none left

• The Renaissance Man embodies the concept of

actualizing all of the different potentials that lie
dormant in every man

• It implies becoming a master of many different areas

of life, physical, logical, and emotional… as well as a
habit of learning one after the other, on a lifelong
quest of self-actualization, improvement, and
enjoyment

• Areas to develop include art, psychology, science,

music, philosophy, performance, etc.
Clues You’re
Dealing With A Real Man
• An air of approachableness

• A “never let them see you sweat” attitude

• An unwillingness to accept second class thinking and

behavior

• Mentor to younger men

• Pillar of strength and security in self and values

• Defender and protector of those less able to defend

and protect themselves

• Encourager and challenger of those not living up to

their potential
External Qualities To Consider
• Mysterious Confidence
• Humor
• Wit
• Charm
• Sophistication
• Leadership
• Class
• Chivalry
• Style
• Smoothness/Grace
• Comfort
• Composure
The Art Of Cool
• What exactly is “cool”?

• Why is the word used so often?

• It implies a temperature that is between warm and

cold… which, when applied to personality or attitude,
implies neither coming on too strong, nor being
overly stand-offish

• A “cool” person isn’t too excited about anything,

isn’t too affected by anything, isn’t emotionally
reactive, and has control of themselves
Questions I Ask Myself A Lot
• What is cool? What is square? How can I get one to
understand these and the concept of “cool”?

• How can a "square" learn to act "cool"?

• What is cool? How can I describe the transition? What

is the way?

• Remember: A cool guy can interact with squares and

other cool people comfortably… whereas a square
cannot do the same
Elements Of Cool:
• Off-beat sense of humor
• Sense of style, music, food, culture
• Laid back and unaffected by the opinions of others
• Not “a suit”, not “a square”, not “a cone-head”, not “a nerd”
• Causal dress, the dirty but not too trendy thing
• Not obsessed with proper grammar… enjoys modern, hip words
and terms
• Calm confidence… can pose a little, has that composure…
• Can make fun of themselves
• Doesn’t act “above” others
• Independent, encourages independence in others
• Assumes a “cool” connection with others by leaning head back as a
greeting, saying “hey”, “what’s up?”, “what’s goin’ on?”, etc.
Feeling Different
Ways Of Saying Hello
• Surface “Hello, how are you” smiling

• Insecure “Oh, um, hi there”

• Cool guy “What’s up” head back

• Sly smile lean head back slowly… no words

Sexual Confidence
• Sexual confidence is a key to being a "naturally attractive" man

• Sexual confidence means knowing that a woman will have an

experience with you that she'll never forget

• Sexual confidence comes from understanding the psychology and

physiology - the physical, logical, and emotional aspects - knowing
how to touch, how to kiss, how to create anticipation, how to
pleasure, fully get pleasure, ravish

• The key is that an inner sexual confidence that comes from

knowing you can blow a woman's mind in bed affects ALL of your
communication

• It literally colors everything from the way you hold yourself to the
way you look at a woman to the words you use when talking

• When you have it, women respond very differently to you, see you
differently, and often become somewhat anxious and excited about
you

• Make it a point to learn to be an incredible lover, and cultivate

Sexual Confidence
Real Man
• Accepts things as they are fully, no judgment - then
sets out to change them

• Can show his sword without killing people / using it

• Doesn't need or use threats

• Is the pillar of strength, security, protection in every

situation

• Allows, encourages, enjoys when others shine, win

and progress

• Needs nothing external to be happy

Giving All Of Yourself
Indiscriminately Will Kill Attraction
• The message that a woman gets when you obviously
offer “everything” to her is that you aren’t the most
important person in your life… SHE is

• Keep a part of yourself “off limits” and totally

unavailable to women

• If you want to maintain the attraction, don’t hand

over the keys and the pink slip… just let her enjoy the
feeling of being able to be near that deep masculinity
Set A Boundary With Her As
Soon As Possible
• Setting boundaries with women (when it’s used
correctly) establishes leadership, status, and
masculinity

• Set boundaries in a playful, fun way, but also set

them when it comes to serious issues as well… don’t
hesitate to set a boundary if a woman is playing
games

• Say "no" to something she wants

• Push her away when she’s trying to hug you

Be The Star, Not The Planet
• Most men behave like planets looking for a star to orbit

• Be the star - a centered man that women want to orbit

• When you become so rock-solid internally and so mature

that no random woman can affect you, then you begin to
affect THEM.

• You lose your concern with what she thinks of you, which
frees up your mind, emotions, communication channels,
and behavior to be yourself.

• The positive aspect is that it makes you far more

transparent and authentic… the negative is that if you don’t
have your inner game together and your immature boy
nature dealt with, THAT will shine through and reveal
things that will hurt you
When Women
Can Feel Your Masculinity
• Sometimes a woman will sense your powerful male
energy and say “Wow, you’re pretty confident in
yourself” or make mention of some aspect of you
that’s “too masculine”

• A man who is on his path or purpose and being

himself will see this as a positive sign, not a
negative one
Feedback From
Real Men On Being A Man
I asked some of my male friends who I respect tremendously
to answer the following three questions:

1) What is the one most important thing a man can do to

“grow up” and become a mature, self-directed, fulfilled
“adult man”… a man who has integrity, a sense of purpose,
and a strong sense of his place in the world?

2) What does a man need to let go of in order to cross the

bridge into true adulthood?

3) What are the qualities that a man should develop in himself

in order to become a “real man”… a pillar and example for
younger men… and how can he develop these qualities?

I received five sets of answers, and I want to share them with

you…
 1) What is the one most important thing a man can do to “grow up” and
become a mature, self-directed, fulfilled “adult man”… a man who has
integrity, a sense of purpose, and a strong sense of his place in the
world?

1) 1 I feel that a man "grows up" when he accepts responsibility for his
future and turns his attention to what is good for God, Country,
Family, and friends instead of himself. I guess the "one most
important thing" would be accepting responsibility.

2) 2 Understand his intrinsic self worth, and find an unrelenting passion

about ‘something.’
It doesn’t matter how insignificant it is and could be personal,
professional, or relational (family, child, etc.). However, he should not
let himself be ‘defined’ by this thing or relationship; just his intrinsic
passion, value and worth in himself.

3) 3 Join a TEAM, as in sports, job, church, community, or mastermind

group, in which there are other MORE mature mentors.

4) Sam
4 One of my favorite snippets of wisdom about this subject is from
Keen (author of the bestselling book "Fire In The Belly - On Being
A Man"). He said the best piece of advice he ever got about being a
man was: "There are only two questions a man must ask himself:
The first is "Where am I going?" and the second is "Who will go with
me?" If you ever get these questions in the wrong order you are in
trouble."
 1) What is the one most important thing a man can do to “grow up” and
become a mature, self-directed, fulfilled “adult man”… a man who has
integrity, a sense of purpose, and a strong sense of his place in the
world?

4) What this means to me is if you focus on who will go with you first,
you're in big trouble. But if you focus on where you are going, you'll
have people lined up to go with you. SO the MOST IMPORTANT thing
a man can do to "grow up" etc... is to KNOW WHERE HE'S GOING...
and in order to do this, he needs to TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR
HIS OWN DESTINY...
And since most men have no idea where they're going, what their
purpose is and what they want to achieve with their lives, that's the
place to START if he's wants to improve his situation in life (e.g. Doing
some deep soul searching, then putting down ON PAPER his goals,
dreams, standards, timelines etc)..
I've completed tons of exercises like this (Tony Robbins, Mankind
Project etc.) and have found them very helpful... particularly the one's
that force you to look at your SHADOWS... You might get some
interesting "Robert Bly-esque" insights from the CONFIDENTIAL
attachment (Warriors 7 Stages Of Man) I've included from the "New
Warrior Training Adventure“

[Continued] More Æ
 1) What is the one most important thing a man can do to “grow up” and
become a mature, self-directed, fulfilled “adult man”… a man who has
integrity, a sense of purpose, and a strong sense of his place in the
world?

5) “In my opinion the single most important thing a man can do to

"grow up" and become mature is to have children. The care of children
and the fulfillment of their needs (which are continuous, obnoxious,
and completely self centered on the child's "me,me,me") makes one
grow up in a hurry. In addition, the absolute requirement to take care
and support the children is so overwhelming that one has to change
from youth to adult in a short period of time. Of course there are
many positives and negatives about having children to begin with, and
many parents are not very good at "being a parent".

With regards to the rest of the question, here is where we get into
the "purpose" of life. I will try to answer some of it by answering the
other two questions.”

[Continued]
 2) What does a man need to let go of in order to cross the bridge into
true adulthood?

1) I believe a man must let go of the baggage in his past to become an

adult. Yesterday is gone, today is already here, there is only the
future. A man looks to the future.

2) approval/attention
Overcome Himself! He has to let go the chains of his need for
from others.

3) all boy-like ways of thought

He has to let go of "scarcity" thinking, "victim" thinking, which are

4) asked...
I was hoping I wouldn't have to go here... however, since you

A man needs to let go of trying to please MOMMY (and all female

figures) and take his balls back (and everything that entails) in order
to truly become a MAN...
A great crash course on this in my humble opinion is the "New Warrior
Training Adventure" Weekend... (more about this at
www.mankindproject.org)

5)
“I think that in order to be an adult you need to not only let go of
things but reprogram yourself. Things you need to let go of are first
and foremost - THE NEED TO BE DEPENDENT. Easier said than done.
It may require total reprogramming depending on your upbringing,
parents etc.

More Æ
 2) What does a man need to let go of in order to cross the bridge into
true adulthood?

5) First you need to be able to feel inside (the Tao of Steve kind of
feeling) that you are able to take care of yourself regardless of the
circumstances. By the way, most women NEVER lose their
dependency on father, husband, Federal Government.....Those people
who are not able to BELIEVE that they are independent become losers
forever, always blaming others for their problems.
The second stage of course, is to develop skills that allow you to be
independent. This applies to money, business, women - everything.
Don't forget: all people are SURVIVORS, but only women take credit
for that. (I used this rare opportunity to show some heart felt disgust
for women, who by some bad luck we need too much).”

[Continued]
 3) What are the qualities that a man should develop in himself in order to
become a “real man”… a pillar and example for younger men… and how
can he develop these qualities?

1) I believe the qualities a true man should develop include honesty,

fidelity, loyalty, compassion, empathy, and humility, but most of all, a
sense of thankfulness and wonderment for all that is right and good
with the world.

2)
He has to be himself and be comfortable with that, whatever ‘it’ is.
I would also say, he should not be ‘trying’ to be an example for
others, as this naturally perturbs his pure ethos of being. Similar to
Plato, his goal should be to live justly and prudently. To push this a
bit further, even Plato hints it was Socrates’ ego/arrogance that got
him executed, rather than exiled.
How do you develop this? Whew, oh yea, this is easy:
- An unrelenting drive for evolution; as opposed to a quest for
perfection. Vince Lombardi has a nice quote about this: “Perfection in
unattainable. . .however, I do expect excellence. . .”).
- “The unexamined life is not worth living” - Plato

If you can’t measure it, you can’t mange it. He must simply become
more self-aware and understand why he does the things he does, both
positive and negative.
- Define his passion, personal utility and his unique personal
competency. Avoid defining himself by actions and personality.

More Æ
 3) What are the qualities that a man should develop in himself in
order to become a “real man”… a pillar and example for younger
men… and how can he develop these qualities?

2) “Pooh just is” – Tao of Pooh

You would never find Winnie in a transcendental gibbering mess. He’d
be the guy bringing Eeyore a pot of honey, in an attempt to get the
poor bastard to snap out of it. . .all whilst Piglet is franticly racing
around trying to figure out if he is ‘doing it right’ looking to Owl, and
others for external approval. In short, don’t do. . .BE!
- Lastly I would say: Patience and balance. Not to be trite; however,
He needs to understand this is a process and not a destination. By
forgiving himself for his past in- action and poor execution; he
becomes a self-directed student of life again, returning to his
childhood curiosity in the body of a man; and knows himself for the
first time. . .

3)
All that has been called "High Character", which historically have
only been available from two sources: in ancient times, the study of
either philosophy or theology, and in modern times, these both have
evolved into PSYCHOANALYSIS and ORGANIZED RELIGION instead.
Since one's parents would be the ideal source, yes that is true, but the
only way to have community CONSENSUS on the quality of "teaching"
by parents, is with either psychoanalysis or organized religion backing
their parenting.

[Continued] More Æ
 3) What are the qualities that a man should develop in himself in
order to become a “real man”… a pillar and example for younger
men… and how can he develop these qualities?

4) The qualities I think a man should develop in himself are courage,

sense of adventure, discipline/strength/integrity, curiosity (fascination
with learning, growing, evolving), compassion for others and desire to
contribute/make a difference
He can develop these qualities by
1) Seeking a mentor/mentors to MODEL
2) "Being the change that he seeks"
3) Surrounding himself with like-minded individuals

5)
“I believe that in order to feel successful you have to be true and
honest to yourself. You have to be ethical, not necessarily according to
other people's belief, but through your self generated set of ethical
matrix. Of course, such ethics are very much influenced by others.
You also need to know that you are doing the best you know how -
that way whether you succeed or fail you can not blame it on your
lack of effort - the ability to generate effort, although partially
genetic, is one of the only attributes that are greatly influenced by
your environment. In general, you can not succeed without exerting
tremendous amount of energy and effort. A "real man" will certainly
know who he is, believe in his own ability (even if not boundless), be
ethical and know that that image is projected through his self-
confidence and behavior. Other people (especially men) are attracted
to the combination of elements projected by the "Real Man".”
[Continued]
Stay On Your Course
The Laws Of Success With Women
1) Accept everything the way it is.
2) Go to work on yourself, not women.
3) Move your frame of reference inside.
4) Become a fascinating person.
5) Make your territory yours.
6) See yourself as "high status."
7) Stop seeking approval.
8) Stop giving approval to get it.
9) Stop trading status for approval.
10) Learn how to read situations before acting or
communicating.
11) Keep doing what works and stop doing what
doesn’t work.
More Æ
 The Laws Of Success With Women
12) Put yourself in the path of attractive women.
13) Stop trying to impress women.
14) Stop apologizing.
15) Become selfish so you can become generous.
16) Keep your composure always.
17) Learn how to turn a woman on mentally,
emotionally, and physically.
18) Learn the entire mating process of humans in
detail.
19) Lead.
20) Prove to yourself over and over that you can
deal with "rejection,“ and that it and other
things like it only make you stronger.
[Continued] More Æ
 The Laws Of Success With Women
21) Surround yourself with success models, and
eliminate failure models.
22) Learn how to tell an interesting story about
anything.
23) Learn how to use Cocky Comedy.
24) Learn how to dress and groom yourself well.
25) Make friends with attractive women by
becoming a guy women like being around.
26) Learn to sacrifice short-term gratification for
long-term success.
27) Don’t whine, bitch, or complain.
28) Learn how to always enjoy yourself, no matter
what's happening.
29) Value yourself and your time more than any
woman.
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30) Develop your awareness.
31) Learn to control your emotions.
32) Let her problems be her problems.
33) Don't try to control her by supporting her or
giving her money.
34) Behave as if you have 100 women calling you
every day to see you.
35) Learn to identify status by communication and
body language instantly.
36) Become an expert on your own self deception
habits.
37) Stop idealizing women.
38) Stop idealizing relationships.

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39) Know your purpose or path in life, and stay on it.
40) Focus more of your time and effort on learning,
and less on doing.
41) Constantly improve yourself.
42) Stop projecting your strengths and weaknesses
onto others.
43) Set up your life so you're constantly meeting
interesting, attractive, available women.
44) Evict your inner Wussy.
45) Get in touch with your personal path or purpose,
and stay on it always.
46) Create useful habits and eliminate destructive or
negative habits.
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47) Be honest, ethical, and authentic always.
48) Look past the content to see the true meaning
of what's going on.
49) Recognize when you're losing control of yourself
50) Engage her emotions and body, not her mind.
51) Don't behave in a boring or predictable way.
52) Make yourself into the most interesting person
a woman has ever met.
53) Turn everything into an adventure.
54) Convince yourself that what's about to happen
is going to be unbelievably fun, then convince
her of it.
55) Always act and communicate in a way that
leaves her wanting to know more, feel more,
and do more.
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56) Surround yourself with success models,
whether they be in person, in books, on audio,
or on video.
57) When you hit a challenge, go back to the basics.
58) Focus on the core skills and your deep inner
game, and the techniques will take care of
themselves.
59) When you find yourself losing power with a
woman, stop, step back, and wait until she
calls you - pull the needle out of your arm
immediately.
60) Always have three female friends around you
that are very similar to the type of woman
you want to meet.
61) Every day, find your center, become
centered, then make yourself the center.
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62) When you find something she really likes,
stop, pull back, and make her really want it
before you tease her with a little more.
63) Become fanatical about every detail of your
health, hygiene, dress, style, posture, voice
tone...
64) Eliminate every nervous tick, gesture, facial
expression, and unconscious response to
challenges from women.
65) Objectify your demons so you control them
instead of them controlling you.
66) Become unbelievably honest, authentic,
direct, and blunt when it's time to be direct.
67) Accept and embrace transition anxiety as an
opportunity to see things from a beginner's
perspective automatically.
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68) Untangle past, present, and future...
Physical, logical, and emotional... Short,
medium, and long-term gratification... Fear
of something and the actual event... And
other non-useful combinations.
69) Learn to enjoy the process of learning more
than the actual result of the learning.
70) Teach others every great thing you learn
immediately.
71) Eliminate failure by learning from it.
72) Compare your progress and success only to
yourself, not others.
73) Evolve constantly and consciously – always
seek the next level and paradigm.

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