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Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 1

 
 
 

How Child Development Relates to Using Voice in Essay Writing: 

A 5th Grade Classroom Lesson Study Cycle 

Hanna Grace Galario​, ​Naomi Hernandez-Hama​,  

Amanda Kinne​, ​Rosemarie Luna​, & Naturalee Puou 

University of Hawaiʻi – West Oahu 


 
 
 
 

 
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Abstract  

Good  writers  use  voice  to  “show”  themselves  in  their  writing  and  can  turn  reading  into  a 

conversation  with  the  audience.  Regardless  of  a  composition’s  genre  or  the  medium  through 

which  readers  engage  with  a  text,  voice  is  what  connects  readers  to  a  human  composer.  But 

teaching  students  to  incorporate  voice  into  their writing can be one of the most difficult tasks for 

writing  teachers,  especially  during  the  secondary  grade  levels  where  students  have  formed  a 

dependency  upon  frameworks  and prescribed structures from previous writing experiences to get 

through  an  assignment.  Voice  is  all  but  neglected  in  student  compositions.  With  this  in  mind, 

providing  opportunities  for  students  during  the  primary  grade  levels  to  learn  about,  find,  and 

develop  their  writer’s  voice  may  help  to  ensure  that  it  is  included  in  their  writing  as  they  get 

older.  Focusing  on  the  developmental  needs  of  the  child during the elementary years, this lesson 

study  research project seeks to understand how social and emotional learning can impact voice in 

student writing.    

 
Keywords: v​ oice, develop, writing, social, emotional 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Introduction 
 
This  lesson  study  focus  on developing student voice in narrative writing was settled upon 

because  all  student  teachers  (ST) were teaching personal narrative units across their various field 

classrooms  at  the  onset  of  research.  The research group consists of five elementary STs, and one 

secondary.  A  common  concern  for  all  was  the  lack  of  voice  and  authenticity  they  saw  in  their 

students’  writing.  This  research  paper  seeks  to  understand  how  social  and  emotional  learning 

during  the  primary  grade  levels  can  help  students  learn  about,  find,  and  develop  their  writer’s 

voice.  The  most  common  explanation  of  “voice”  in  writing  is  that  it  is  the  unique  personality, 

point  of  view,  or  style  of  the  individual  writer.  In  a  lesson  study,  colleagues  collaborate  on  a 

learning  goal;  conduct  research  and  develop  a lesson; deliver the lesson under the observation of 

the  RG  in  a  real  classroom;  debrief  on  the  lesson  following  delivery;  and  apply  instructional 

adjustments to a second round of the lesson taught to different students. Lesson studies cycles are 

comprehensive  professional  development  for  educators, and sometimes entire schools. that some 

schools practice all for the sake of improving instructional practices and student learning.  

A  lesson  study  on  child  development  as  it  relates  to  voice  in  writing  may  help  gain 

instructional  insight  on  how  pre-service  teachers  can  group,  engage,  and  assess  students  on  a 

collaborative  writing  assignment  intended  to improve student voice. A literature review will first 

discuss  child  development,  including  social  and  emotional  learning  during  the  concrete 

operational  stage.  It  will  then  explore  strategies  for  teaching  voice  in  elementary,  including  the 

benefits  of  collaborative  writing.  The  methodology  section  will  detail  the  lesson  planning 

process  and  research-guided  decisions  made  throughout  the  lesson  study  cycle  for  student 

grouping,  engagement,  and  assessments  of  learning.  A  section  on  results  and  findings  offers  an 
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analysis  of  the  RG’s  observations  and  assessment  data.  Finally,  the  research  paper  concludes 

with reflections on the study’s impact on STs’ instructional practices in future lessons.  

Review of Literature 

Development Stage 

According  to  Robert  Salvin  (2014)  author  of  ​Educational  psychology:  Theory  and 

practice,  ​children  between  ages  7-11 years old are classified under Piaget's’ concrete operational 

stage  of  cognitive  development  (Salvin,  2014,  p.  34).  The  staged  is  marked  by  reduced 

egocentrism  as  children  develop  an  awareness  of  differences  in  the  feelings,  thoughts,  and 

outlooks  of  their  peers.  ​Applying  Piaget’s  Theory  of  Cognitive  Development  to  Mathematics 

Instruction  (Ojose,  2005)  further  reports  that  “language  and acquisition of basic skills accelerate 

dramatically.  Children  at  this  stage  utilize  their  senses  in  order  to  know”  (p  .2).  Children’s 

manipulation  of  systems  and  symbols  help  to  form  the  basis  of  logical  thinking,  which 

significantly  grows  during  the  concrete  operational  stage  (Wood,  Smith, & Grossniklaus, 2001), 

but  abstract  concepts  and  ideas  may  still  remain  a  challenge.  As  teaching  such  an  abstract 

concept  as  voice  to  writers  at  this  stage  may  prove  difficult,  Wood,  Smith,  &  Grossniklaus 

(2001)  encourage  the  use  of  visual  aids  and  brain teasers as a means of educational engagement. 

Social-Emotional Development 

Positive  youth  development  seeks  to  empower  students  in  the  building  of  skills  and 

accumulation  of  assets,  including  the  building  of positive relationships. According to Dr. Tracey 

Bennett,  author  of  article  “Dr.  Bennett's  Developmental  Psychology  Crash  Course  (ages  7-11 

years),”  children  during  the  concrete  operational  stage  start  to  develop  awareness  of  others own 

thoughts.  In  other  words,  a  child  is  aware  that  their  understandings  and  feelings  may  not  be  the 
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same  among  their  peers.  Bennett  (2018)  also  states  that  a  child  begins  to  realize  that  even  the 

intentions  of  their  peers  are  different  from  those  of  their  own.  Children  during  the  concrete 

operational  stage  are  also  able  to  come  to  conclusions  on  how  one  might  react  to  their  own 

actions.  

Wood,  Smith,  &  Grossniklaus  (2001)  remind  that  criticisms  of  Piaget’s  theory  arose 

during  the  60’s  and  70’s,  which  point  to his underestimation of children’s ability. Piaget implied 

that  thinking  would  be  the  same  across  tasks,  however,  later  research  has  shown  that 

similarly-aged  children  can  display  a  diverse  range  of  cognitive  abilities  (Wood,  Smith,  & 

Grossniklaus,  2001).  This  is  largely  based  on  the  varying  experiences  they  have  outside  of 

school.  Such  varying  experiences  may  also  attribute  to  varying  abilities  to  access  voice  in 

writing.  Roberts,  Blanch,  &  Gurjar  (2017)  explain  that  when  working  in  groups,  peers  set 

performance  benchmarks  for  one  another  in  their  individual  levels  of  accomplishment.  This 

suggests  that  collaborative  writing  may  provide  opportunities  for  social  and  emotional  learning 

when strategically structured.   

Strategies For Teaching Voice  

  There  are  different  strategies  that  are  being  used  within  the  classroom  to  help  build 

students  voice  within  their  writing. For example, one strategy that is beneficial is allowing social 

interactions  among  students  and  their  peers.  According  to  the  research  of  Kelser  Ted  (2012) 

“Writing  With  Voice”,  he  shares  how  social  interactions  in  classrooms  enables  students  to 

develop  as  writers  and  impact  voice  within  their  writing.  Voice  is  an  important  trait  of  writing 

for  it  makes  the  quality  of  an  individual’s  writing  engaging.  In  writing,  voice  conveys  the 

writer’s  unique  attitude, personality, and character. However, developing strong writing voices is 


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not  a  solitary  skill  as  it  is  known  but  rather  dialogic.  Ted  states  that  “a  writer’s  voice  is  not 

created  solely  out  of  the  depths  of  his  or  her  individuality.  Rather  it  is  constructed  out  of  the 

voices  of  the  individuals  and  communities”  (Kelser,  2012).  In  creating  dialogic  interaction 

during  writing  time  he  states  that  “learning  to write is about learning to be in a particular kind of 

interaction  ---  with  other  writers  and  with  readers  ---  and  not  just  about  a  display  of  skills” 

(Kelser,  2012).  Lastly,  it  provides  students  collaborative  opportunities  that  would  be  missed  by 

working  alone.  Overall,  through  this  process  of  encountering  in  dialogue  and  social  interaction 

helps  develop  their  own  voice  and  learn  ways  of  being  with  others  as  themselves  and  being  as 

writers.  

Another  research  strategy  that  is  being  used  within  the  classroom  to  help  build  students 

voice  in  writing  is  allowing  the  freedom  of  choice.  According  to  “A  Case  Study  Observing  the 

Development  of  Primary  Children's  Composing,  Spelling,  and  Motor  Behaviors  during  the 

Writing  Process”  by  Graves,  Donald  H  (1982),  a  two  year  study  was  done  within  a  New 

Hampshire  School,  among  16  children  from  five  different  classrooms. Research data focused on 

the  observations  of  what  primary  students  did  when  it  came  to  writing.  According  to  Graves 

(1982),  allowing  student  choice  can  help  increase  student  voice  within  their  writing.  Graves 

states  that  “Teachers Should Let Children Choose About 80% of Their Topics Because It-Assists 

Them  with  voice,  heightens  semantic  domain,  skill  of-narrowing  topic,  and  basic  decision  - 

Making.  (Graves,  1982,  p.  34).  Observations  of  allowing  students  to  choose  a  topic  helped 

increase  a  better  understanding  of  what  to  write,  an  increase  in  writing  quality  and  lastly 

observations showed students developing new writing concepts.  


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Aukerman  &  Chambers  Schuldt  (2016)  extend  upon  previous  research  suggestions  that 

educators  encourage  the  simultaneous  engagement  of  images  with  texts,  as the two are effective 

in  constructing  texting  meaning.  In  developing  an  understanding  of  an  abstract  concept  such  as 

voice, images offer students a concrete basis to write from and can act as powerful prompts. 

Collaborative Writing 

According  to  Tanju  Deveci  (2018),  author  of  ​Student  Perceptions  on  Collaborative 

Writing  in  a  Project-based  Course,  collaborative  writing  can  be  defined  as  “an  assignment  in 

which  students  work  together  from  start  to  finish,  producing  a  single  paper  from  the  group”  (p. 

2).  ​Roberts,  Blanch,  &  Gurjar  (2017)  rely  heavily  upon  Vopat’s  (2009)  ​Writing  ​Circles:  Kids 

Revolutionize  Workshop  i​ n  their  description  of  collaborative  writing,  in  which  circles  are 

“formed  at  the  very  onset  of  the  writing  process  and  involve  five  to  seven  members  from 

prewriting  through  sharing  and  publication  as  young  authors  write  collaboratively  on  the  same 

piece  (Vopat,  2009).  ​The  purpose  of  collaborative  writing  activities  is  to  provide  students  with 

opportunities to help each other become better writers. Choice and roles within the group seem to 

motivate  participants  in  writing  circles,  according  to  Roberts,  Blanch,  &  Gurjar  (2017).  In 

working  with students who are just beginning to develop abstract thinking, collaborative learning 

provides students with exposure to the diverse thinking of their peers. Furthermore, working with 

peers  in  a  group  can  offer  positive  motivation  because  students  implicitly  set  benchmarks  for 

each other as they work together (Roberts, Blanch, & Gurjar, 2017). 

Benefits of Collaborative Writing 

Collaborative  writing  allows  the  opportunity  for  students  to  become  engaged  with  the 

lesson  and  benefit  in  social  interactions  among  their  peers.  Within  the  research  work  of  Deveci 
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(2018),  he  shares  some  of  the  social  benefits  of  collaborative  writing.  For  example,  the  social 

beneficial  aspect  of  collaborative  writing  allows  students  to  take  a step back and gain an outside 

perspective  other  than  their  own  when  it  comes  to  the  understanding  the  content  and  assigned 

task.  Deveci  states  that  students  who  participate  in  collaborative  writing  “improve  their 

vocabulary,  understanding  of  text  coherence,  and  gain  new  ideas  and  perspectives”  (Deveci, 

2018, p. 2). 

Case  studies  have  also  been  done  in  the  past  to  help  provide  evidential  data  on  the 

benefits  of  collaborative  writing  among  students.  Such  as,  according  to  Barbara  Clarke  and 

Wendy  Kastan, the authors of “A Study of 3rd and 5th Grade Students' Oral Language during the 

Writing  Process  in  Elementary  Classrooms,”  the  data  collected  from  seven  5th  graders  and  3rd 

graders  shows  a  positive  impact  on  student  writing  when collaboration is taking place compared 

to  students  independently  working.  According  to  the  authors,  “Oral language plays an important 

role in the writing process” (Clarke & Kastan, 1986). Benefits of collaboration during the writing 

process  includes  helping  students  with  their  intrapersonal  skills;  qualities  and  behaviors  one 

builds  within  interactions  with  others.  Collaboration  also  helps  with  the  students  thinking 

process;  identifying  what  to  write  about,  what  to  revise  etc.  Lastly  collaboration  can  help 

students enhance their understanding of what to do. Clarke and Kastan state;  

Findings  indicated  that  oral  language  plays  an  important  role  in  the  writing  process; 

specifically,  that  it  (1) accompanies writing as an intrapersonal function, (2) helps writers 

think  about  and  revise their text, (3) helps writers make decisions about what to write, (4) 

is  highly  related  to  writing  and  almost  entirely  on-task,  (5)  provides  opportunities  for 
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collaboration  to  enhance  ​learning  opportunities,  and  (6)  helps  ​students  talk  about  and 

increase their understanding of the writing process (Clarke & Kastan, 1986). 

Another  case  study  that  helps  provide  evidential  data  on  the  benefits  of  collaborative 

writing  among  students  was  done  by  Jonathan  Tudge  and  Paul  Winterhoff.  Within  their  case 

study  “Can  young  children  benefit  from  collaborative  problem  solving?  Tracing  the  effects  of 

partner  competence and feedback”, Tudge and Winterhoff  found that “collaboration with a more 

competent  partner,  was  more  beneficial  than  working  alone  or  with  with  an  equally  competent 

partner”  (Tudge & Winterhoff, 1993). A number of questions arose from this study, one focusing 

on  the  relations  between  social  and  cognitive  development  in  children  in  their  early  years  of 

school.  Tudge  and  Winterhoff  believe  that  there  is  no  question  that  social  factors  and  cognitive 

development  are  linked  in  complex  ways. Piaget and Vygotsky had different views on this topic. 

Piaget  (1932,  1977)  believed  that  “collaboration  between  peers  was  more  effective  than 

adult-child  collaboration”,  whereas  Vygotsky  (1987)  argued  that  “collaboration  required  the 

presence of a more competent partner, whether adult or child”. 

Methodology 

Participants 

Participants  of  the  two-part  lesson  study  were  20  August  Ahrens  Elementary  School 

students  from  a  5​th  grade,  general  education  classroom.  8  were  female  and  12  were  male. 

Students  were  sorted  by  their  student  teacher  based  on  Iready  scores  and  behavior  to  form  two 

Groups,  A  and  B.  The  groups  were  heterogeneous,  and  at  least  one  student  has  a  history  of 

behavioral  challenges.  During  the second part, also referred to as phase 2, of the lesson, Group B 


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was  further sorted into two groups of 5 by the ST conducting the lesson to ensure each group had 

a mixture of abilities for variety of voice.  

School Demographics 

August  Ahrens  Elementary  is  located  in  Waipahu  and  is  part  of  the  Leeward  School 

District  of  Oahu.  Based  on  the  2010  U.S  Census,  within  the  Waipahu  School  community  the 

total  population  was  60,305  people.  31.4%  of  students  graduated  high  school,  and  20.1%  of 

students  graduated  college.  August  Ahrens  Elementary  is  identified  as  a  Title  I  school  because 

there  is  a  high  percentage  of  students  who  come  from  low  income  families.  About  53.4%  of 

students at August Ahrens receives free or reduced lunches. 

During  the  2016-2017  school  year,  there  were  1,262  students enrolled. The ethnicities of 

the  students  vary  from  black,  native  and  Pacific  Islander,  including  Kānaka,  White  and  Asian. 

The  dominant  ethnicity  of  the  student  body  is  Filipino.  About  84%  of  students  identified  as 

Filipino.  For  Special  Education  Programs,  about  80  (6.3%)  students  were  enrolled.  The  number 

of  students  with  limited  English  proficiency  was  235,  or  20%.  The  main  language  that  ELL 

students speak is either Tagalog or Ilocano. 

Based  on  the  Strive  HI  School  Performance  Report  for  the  year  2016-2017;  an  annual 

report  that  focuses  on  school  performance  data,  48%  of  students  have  meet  the  standards/are 

proficient  when  it  comes  to  the  state  assessment  in  Language  Arts.  The  percentage  shows  no 

change  from  the  previous  year.  As  for Math, the report shows 55%, which is a 6% increase from 

the previous year. For Science, the report shows 49%, a 5% increase from the previous year. 

Materials & Measurements 


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Visual  images  from  ​The  Mysteries  of  Harris  Burdick  b​ y  Chris  Van  Allsburg  (1984) was 

used  in  both  phases  of  the lesson study as writing prompts. Each image is accompanied by a title 

and  single  caption.  The  images  in  ​Harris  Burdick  are  specifically  intended  to  inspire  creative 

thinking  in  their  readers,  as  the  images  are  abstract  and  provide  little  to  no  context as to what is 

happening  in  the  scenes.  ​Incorporating  visual  images  as  a  means  of  establishing  a  situation  for 

the  students  enabled  the  research  team  to  work  towards  fulfilling 

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.5.3:  Write  narratives  to  develop  real  or  imagined  experiences  or 

events  using  effective  technique,  descriptive  details,  and  clear  event  sequences.  Image  prompts 

can  be  impactful  on  student  writing.  Aukerman  &  Chambers  Schuldt  (2016)  extend  upon 

previous  research  which  suggest  that  educators  encourage  the  simultaneous  engagement  of 

images  with  texts in lessons. The two are effective in helping students construct textual meaning. 

In  developing  an  understanding  of  an  abstract  concept  such  as  voice,  images  offer  students  a 

concrete basis to write from, and can help with developing a response.   

A  circle  map  worksheet  with  sensory  vocabulary  was  issued  to  Group  B  in  phase  2 

(Appendix  H).  The  handout  featured  20  vocabulary  words  associated  with  4  of  the  5  human 

senses,  which  students  sorted  onto a circle map of the senses. Taste was excluded from the circle 

map  due  to  the  nature  of  the  images and writing activity, as taste was least likely to be used with 

the  prompts.  The purpose of the worksheet was to ​help organize the students’ ideas when it came 

to  identifying  words  related  to  the  four  senses  of sight, hearing, touch, and smell. In phase 2, the 

research  group  decided  on  a  circle  map  because  August  Ahrens  students  are  familiar with using 

circle  maps  for  pre-writing.  Furthermore,  the  focus  on  sensory  words  narrowed  the  lesson’s 

initial  focus  from  the  broad,  abstract  topic  of  voice,  to  using  writing  techniques  that  were 
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developmentally  appropriate  for  students  who  are  just  learning  about  voice  in  narrative  writing. 

The  vocabulary  words  on  the  handout  were  selected  by  the  research  group  based  on  the  ​Harris 

Burdic  ​images  chosen  for  the  lesson.  The  circle  map  also  served  as  a  tool  for  measurement, 

specifically, a pre-assessment. 

Rubrics  outlining  success  criteria  for  post-assessments  were  provided  to  the  participants 

in  both  phases.  The  purpose  of  each  rubric  was  to  clarify  expectations  of  participants’  written 

responses to the prompt. Appendixes G and I are the respective rubrics for Groups A and B. 

For  this  research  project,  the  RG  relied  on  pre-  and  post-assessments  for  quantitative 

data,  and  real-time  observation  notes  gathered  during  both  deliveries  of  the  lesson  to  Groups  A 

and  B  for  qualitative  data.  In  phase  1,  Group  A  was  administered  a  prompt  that  participants 

needed  to  compose  a  text  for  during  a  free  write  pre-assessment.  A  post-assessment  was  then 

administered  after  direct instruction on voice in writing using t​he ​Harris Burdick ​image prompts. 

The  intent  of  the  pre-  and  post-assessments  were  to  measure  voice  in  writing  when  participants 

write independently. 

In  phase  2,  Group  B  was  administered the ​circle map worksheet with sensory vocabulary 

as  a  pre-assessment.  After  direct  instruction  on sensory language and its connection to voice, ​t​he 

Harris  Burdick  ​image  prompts  were  then  used  for  post-assessments,  however,  students 

collaborated  as  a  group  to  compose  one  narrative.  ​The  intent  of  the  post-assessment  was  to 

measure voice in writing when participants write collaboratively. 

During  both  phases,  specific  areas  were  observed  by  the  STs  of  the  RG  who  were  not 

delivering  the  lesson  to  participants  for  qualitative  data  gathering.  Prior  to  conducting  the 

lessons,  the  RG  defined  the  areas  of  observation  for  this  lesson  study  and  developed  an 
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observation  sheet  to  guide  note-taking  during  the  lessons  for  the  observing  STs.  The  areas  the 

RG  chose  to  observe  during  the  lessons  were  purpose,  engagement,  and  classroom  and  time 

management. These areas relate to either teacher instruction or student learning.  

Alignment  to  the  learning  objective  throughout  the  lesson  was  defined  as  purpose  to  the 

research  group.  Observations  include  returning  to  the  learning  targets  and  essential  questions 

throughout  both  of  the  lessons,  ensuring  intention  behind  instructional  practices  are  relevant  to 

the  learning  goals,  and  that  participants  always  knew  the  purpose  of  the  lesson  as  well. 

Observations  on  engagement include capturing the participants’ interests, responses to strategies, 

and  what  motivated  them  throughout  the  lesson.  Classroom  management  observations  focused 

on  the  behavior  of  students,  compliance,  as  well  as  the  effectiveness  of  attention  getters.  Time 

management  observations  include  student  responses  to  directions,  movement  during  transitions, 

and  staying  within  time  limits  for  the  lesson.  Appendix  J  outlines  the  areas  of  observation  in 

greater detail, including what was specifically observed, accompanied by with notes. 

Design 
The  lesson  study  best  relates  to  a  between-group  design,  where  the  difference  between 

Group  A  and  B  is  the  condition  in  which  participants  completed  the  post-assessment.  Group  A 

participants  completed  an  individual  written  assessment,  although  they  had  choice  in  which 

station  to  sit  at  based  on  the  image  the  were  most  interested  in.  Group  B  participated  in  a 

collaborative  writing  effort in pre-sorted groups of 5. These two conditions were the independent 

variables.  I​ncorporating  group  work  into  phase  2  with  Group  B  required  structured 

implementation,  therefore  roles  were  created  by  the RG, and students had choice in the role they 

would fulfill in each group.  


Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 14

As  previously  stated,  collaborative  writing  is  beneficial.  It  allows  the  opportunity  for 

students  to  become  engaged  with  the  lesson  and  benefit  in social interactions among their peers. 

Deveci  (2018)  explains  that  the  social  beneficial  aspect  of  collaborative  writing  allows  students 

to  take  a  step  back  and  gain  an  outside  perspective  other  than  their  own  when  it  comes  to  the 

understanding  the  content  and  assigned  task.  For  concrete  operational  learners,  collaborative 

learning  can  support  logical  thinking,  and  understanding  of  abstract  concepts  (like  voice),  and 

there  is  positive  impact  on  student  writing  when  collaboration  takes  place  compared  to students 

independently  working  (Clarke  &  Kastan, 1986). Peer collaboration also exposes students to the 

different  voices  of  their  classmates,  sharpening  individual  awareness  to how others think, act, or 

feel. It is for this reason that Group B was exposed to group work. 

The dependent variable in both phases were the standard-based grading levels, as 

determined by the ​3-point grade rubrics. In comparing these scores between independent and 

collaborative writing post-assessments, the RG was able to determine the depth of impact that 

collaborative writing had on voice in student writing. The ST did not go over the rubric as a class 

during phase 1. Instead, participants of Group A read it independently, and referred back to it 

while completing the writing assignment on their own. To structure support for participants new 

to collaborative writing in phase 2 however, the ST reviewed the rubric as a class. 

Procedures 
Each  lesson  started  with  an  opening  introduction  to  the  focus  of  the  lesson,  including 

learning  targets,  and  the  agenda.  An  activity  followed,  to  prime  participants’  thinking  about 

voice  in  writing.  A  pre-assessment  is  included.  This  was  followed  by  direct  instruction,  then  a 

post-assessment.  
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 15

In  phase  1,  Group  A  was  given  10  minutes  to  create  a composition starting with, “Dude, 

guess  what!”  The  free  writes  provided  pre-assessment  samples  of  student  voice  at  the  onset  of 

the  lesson,  and  a  basis  for  independent  student  writing  after  receiving  a  prompt  and  sample 

(provided by the ST). 

The  activity  was  followed  by  a  whole-class discussion on what makes writing interesting 

using  a circle map on the overhead. One participant was able to provide “voice” as an example to 

add  to  the  map.  After  focusing  “what  makes  writing interesting” as the essential question for the 

lesson,  the  ST introduced the final activity: ​the ​Harris Burdic ​image prompts. The ST introduced 

the  activity,  modeled  an  example  of  what  students  were  expected  to  produce  based  off  of  an 

image,  then  previewed  the  writing  rubric.  The  ST  explained  that  participants  would  have  a 

choice  to  sit  at  a  station  of  their  choosing,  based  on  the  image  that  interested  them most at each 

of the stations. After giving participants time to write their narratives, the ST asked for individual 

volunteers to allow for sharing.  

In  phase  2,  the  focus  was  narrowed  from  voice,  to  sensory  details  and  language  as  they 

relate  to  voice  in  writing.  During  the  introduction,  the  ST  explicitly  stated  to  participants  that 

sensory  details  added  richness  to  writing,  and  was  a  step  towards  developing  their  individual 

voices  in writing. Following this, the ST had an informal discussion about the 5 senses and asked 

participants  to  consider  and  share  with  a  partner  what  sense  they  might  be  able  to  live  without. 

The  circle  map  worksheet with sensory vocabulary was then issued for students to independently 

complete.  Following  direct  instruction  on  sensory  details and voice, the ST introduced the group 

activity,  split  the  Group  B  participants  into  smaller  groups  of  5, and explained the roles. The ST 

assigned  each  group  a  photo  in  response  to  time  management  observations  from  phase  1,  but 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 16

maintained  student  choice  in  the selection of roles. Discussion with peers was encouraged by the 

ST  to  make  decisions  on  how  the  situation  of  their  narrative  should  unfold.  The  RG  took  notes 

on  participant  responses  and  discussions  while  they  worked  in  groups.  At  the  wrap-up,  the  ST 

allowed  both  groups  to  present  their  narratives,  which  were  later  scored  by  the  RG  using  a new 

rubric reflecting the refined focus of the lesson during phase 2.  

Results/Findings  

For this study, the analysis focused on evaluating how students incorporates their voice in 

narrative  writing.  Process  for  each  lesson  were  different but the students in Group A and Group 

B  were  given  a  pre-  and  post-  test to determine and measure if there is a significant difference in 

the  presence  of  voice  in  their  narrative  writing.  Two  writing  lessons  were  delivered  where  each 

has significant contributions to the data.   

First,  it  is the field of study where the writing lesson was focused on independent writing. 

Students  were  assigned  free-write  with  a  writing  prompt  as  their  pre-assessment.  For  their 

post-assessment,  Group  A  were  given  the  freedom  to  choose  a  picture  with  starter  sentence  to 

create  and  write  their  own  story  incorporating  voice.  Group  A  students  writing,  both  pre-  and 

post-test, were graded independently using a 3-point rubric (See Appendix A). 

Second,  it  is  where  the  writing  with  voice  lesson  was  focused  and  conducted to evaluate 

voice  in collaborative writing incorporating sensory details. (Sight, Sound, Touch, Smell). Group 

B  were  given  pretest  independently  to  assess  senses  identification.  The  test  included  twenty 

sensory  vocabulary  words  (See  Appendix  B).  The  post-assessment  was  a  collaborative  writing 

activity  where  ten  students,  divided  into  two groups, were assigned the same pictures that Group 

A  students  used to write their story. Writing was graded as group using also a 3-point rubric (See 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 17

Appendix  C).  The  results  of the assessments for both groups are reported in the following tables. 

Voice was successfully incorporated in all writing – independent and collaborative – results. 

Table 1 shows the increase in all the students’ scores from their free write (pretest) to 

their final paper. Most of the scores improved after the lessons were taught about using voice in 

writing. The students had a range of increase from 1 point to 3 points. 

Analyzing Pre-Assessment and Post-Assessment Data (​​GROUP A​) 


 
The pre-assessment data from Lesson Group A showed that: 
 
● 0% of the nine students scored 3/3 (0/9) 
● 33% of the nine students scored 2/3 (3/9) 
● 67% of the nine students scored 1/3 (6/9) 
 
The post-assessment data from Lesson Group A showed that: 
 
● 44% of the nine students scored 3/3 (4/9) 
● 22% of the nine students scored 2/3 (2/9) 
● 33% of the nine students scored 1/3 (3/9) 
 
Analyzing Pre-Assessment and Post-Assessment Data (​​GROUP B​) 
 
The pre-assessment data from Lesson Group B showed that (independent work): 
 
● 0% of the ten students got MP (0/10) 
● 70% of the ten students got DP (7/10) 
● 30% of the ten students got WB (3/10) 
 
The post-assessment data from Lesson Group B showed that (group work): 
 
● 100 % of the 2 groups got 3/3 (2/2) 
 
Discussion/interpretation   
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 18

As mentioned earlier, from the pre-assessment handed out at the beginning of the school 

year, most of the students could not grasp the idea of what makes a narrative personal -- they 

lacked voice in their writing. Based on the pre-assessment that was given to the class, many 

students were more or less listing the events of what the prompt was asking for (describe one 

thing interesting you did over summer break). According to the results and observations made, 

collaborative writing helps improve quality of writing (including voice) and encourages 

interpersonal skills and promotes creativity. All participants of the lesson study actively sat 

within each lesson to observe the instruction and students. Notes about observations made on 

both lesson cycles can be found in the table (see Appendix J).  

Purpose  

Purpose can be established as what is accomplished through intentional use. In a classroom 

setting, the purpose can be communicated as a ‘learning objective’ so that the students will know 

what they will learn from the lesson and what they are expected to do. The foundation for a 

schema building of concepts, information and skills are layed out when a purpose is clearly 

stated. 

After each lesson, our group had a debrief about what was observed immediately after; 

we discussed what worked and what did not seem to work. After the first study cycle, the main 

observations we noted under purpose was that there was a lot of intentional practices under use. 

These intentional practices included: addressing the learning target throughout the entirety of the 

lesson, having the students complete pre and post assessments with little redirection, and overall 

observing that the students were bringing out voice in their writing. 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 19

During the second lesson cycle, the main observations noted under purpose also included 

intentional instruction that involved introducing clear expectations (especially on the 

pre-assessment), going over the rubric with the students, and using an exit slip. 

Engagement 

Student engagement can be defined as the “degree of attention, curiosity, interest, 

optimism, and passion that students show when they are learning or being taught, which extends 

to the level of motivation they have to learn and progress in their education.” (Student 

Engagement Definition, 2016). 

What the group observed during lesson cycle A was that majority of the students were 

very engaged. The students were very excited about the overall lesson and were excited to share 

out their ideas. What the observers noticed during this lesson cycle was that most talkative 

students would sit together and over power the other group (two seperate groups). With this in 

mind, the group decided to arrange specific seating for the second lesson cycle to place talkative 

students with the quieter students.  

Overall, after splitting the students up objectively, the general observation of the students 

was that they were all engaged and were able to fairly complete the jobs they were each 

assigned. This was with the exception of the one student who struggles with behavior.  

Classroom Management 

Classroom Management can be defined as “the wide variety of skills and techniques that 

teachers use to keep students organized, focused, attentive, on task, and academically productive 

during a class.” (Classroom Management Definition, 2014).  


Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 20

The main classroom management strategy that was observed for the first lesson study 

cycle was the use of incentives. What the group noticed overall was that students became a lot 

more engaged and excited when a reward to presented to them. For this particular classroom, a 

management strategy the students were already used to was the use of a pebble reward system. 

Utilizing this strategy was effective as the students continued to participate and stay engaged 

throughout the lesson, especially when an incentive was presented. 

Another classroom management strategy used was attention getters. This management 

strategy was observed in both lesson study cycles. For the first lesson cycle, the teacher would 

sing a familiar tune and would have the students finish off the tune. During the second lesson 

cycle, the teacher would say “Stop, Eyes on Me”. With these two strategies, the students were 

responsive and would give their attention to the teachers. It was observed that during the second 

lesson study cycle, the students were quicker to give their attention-- one reason for this result 

could be because of the objective seating chart created before giving the lesson.  

All in all, it was observed that management was not an issue as both teachers teaching the 

lesson had good classroom management strategies and would continue to walk around and watch 

over every student.  

Time Management  

Time management can be described as the process of organizing and planning how to 

divide your time between specific activities (Time Management, 2018). For both lesson study 

cycles, both teachers were able to complete all activities on time and smooth transitioning and 

flow. The overall result, as the group observed, was a well managed and meaningful lesson 

where the students did not feel rushed nor bored.  


Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 21

Conclusion  

Allowing this lesson study process to be done in a group was really beneficial we got to 

see different perspectives on our two lessons. Soon after the first lesson cycle was taught, we 

participated in a group discussion where we talked about what went good, and what we needed 

to improve on for the next cycle. This really benefited us for our second lesson study cycle 

because we knew exactly what we wanted to improve on. And we knew for a fact that these were 

valuable improvements because we seen them being taught in the first cycle.  

Based on our findings throughout this lesson study, we used many different teaching 

strategies such as guided instruction, whole group learning, independent work, and finally, 

collaborative work. By incorporating voice in students’ writing, we hope to appeal to all types of 

learning styles, and especially engaging them in learning process. We hope that every student 

will make the connection between voice and writing so that every piece they create, is unique in 

their own way.  

Personal Perspective 

Overall this lesson study process was very tedious. But, having a very dedicated group 

that was willing to put forth the effort, helped tremendously. Even though the workload was a lot 

at times, the end result was what made it all worth it. To finally have the paper completed felt so 

relieving. 

What helped a lot with the process was that we were all willing to meet outside of our 

usual class meeting times. We knew that we were only going to get a limited amount of time to 

work on our paper in class, so we took it upon ourselves to meet outside of class. This was also 

very beneficial because at one point, we thought it would be best to only communicate through 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 22

Google Docs. But after looking over all the requirements and realizing that this paper needed to 

be taken seriously, we thought it was in our best interest to meet outside of class. My group 

decided to meet at the UHWO library in a study room. This allowed us to work as a group and 

focus in a quiet environment with no distractions. 

Adding to that, it also helped that everyone in our group was open to criticism, and able 

to bring ideas to the table. I myself knew that I wasn’t the strongest writer, and so I really needed 

to be open to suggestions to help better my writing pieces. It also helped that my group members 

had no intention of being rude in anyway, and if they did suggest to change, something, they 

would let me know in the nicest way possible. Another big thing that helped was one of our 

group members previously worked in the No’eau Center as a tutor. So she was a very big help 

especially when it was time to write out Literature Review. But, not everyone will be as lucky as 

we were, so I do suggest reaching out to the tutors. 

Allowing each group member to choose a certain section of the paper benefited us greatly 

in the long run. Once we were given this assignment, and realizing how big of a paper it was, we 

thought it was best to chunk it into sections. At first, we thought it would be unfair to those with 

the shorter sections, but then we came to the conclusion that we should all contribute to every 

section. This helped a lot because some sections did take a lot more work to complete, but with 

the help of all the group members, we were able to finish them all. 

  I also had the chance to teach one of the lessons. At first, I was very at ease to teach a 

lesson at a school I have never been too, nor taught to the students. So when it was decided that I 

should teach the second lesson because we were both in fifth grade at the time, I was very 

scared! But I am very glad I was given the opportunity to teach the lesson. Being in front a class 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 23

that I have never dealt with before, taught me how to think on my feet and be open to various 

learning styles. It also challenged me to be as transparent as I could be to allow the students to be 

comfortable so they would participate. I thought I was going to have a much harder time getting 

those students to participate, but the luck was in my favor because they had no problem 

answering and raising their hands.  

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 24

 
 
 
 
 
Appendix A:​​ Table 1 - Group A Pre- and Posttest Writing Results (Out of 3 points) 
 
   Pretest  Posttest 
Free write  Say It with Voice! 
  

GROUP A        

Student 1 (M)  -  - 

Student 2 (A)  1  3 

Student 3 (I)  2  3 

Student 4 (E)  1  1 

Student 5 (A)  2  3 

Student 6 (H)  1  3 

Student 7 (J)  1  1 

Student 8 (K)  1  2 

Student 9 (F)  2  1 

Student 10 (S)  1  2 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 25

 
 
 
 
 
Appendix B: ​Table 2 - Group B Pretest Results 
 
   Pretest 
Match Your Senses!  

Student 1 M  DP  

Student 2 J  DP 

Student 3 D  DP  

Student 4 A  ​WB 

Student 5 S  DP  

Student 6 T  ​WB 

Student 7 J  DP  

Student 8 S  DP  

Student 9 I  ​WB 

Student 10 P  DP  

Student 11 C  ​absent 
 
Breakdown of Grading 

ME  Meets with Excellence 

MP  Meet with Proficiency 

DP  Developing Proficiency 

WB  Well Below Proficient 


 
 
 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 26

 
 
 
 
 
Appendix C:​​ Table 3 - Group B Posttest Results 
 
   Posttest 
Collaborative Writing  

Group 1  ​3 

Group 2  ​3 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 27

 
 
 
 
 
Appendix D:  

 
 
 
 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 28

 
 
 
 
 
Appendix E: 

 
 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 29

 
 
 
 
 
Appendix F: 

 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 30

 
 
 
 
 
Appendix G: 

 
 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 31

 
 
 
 
 
Appendix H: 
 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 32

 
 
Appendix I: 
 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 33

 
 
 
 
Appendix J: 
 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 34

 
Area of  Points Needed To Observe   Notes: What We Observed  Notes: What We Observed 
Observation   (Lesson A)   (Lesson B) 

Purpose    ● Lesson targets were  ● Lesson targets were 


  ● Alignment to objective  addressed and reviewed  addressed but not in 
  ● Able to follow the  throughout the lesson  the beginning 
  prompt  ● Students were able to  ● Students was able to 
  ● Recapping learning  complete pre and post test  grasped the idea of 
   target  with a few questions and  voice in their writing 
● State and go back to  repeated directions   ● Introduction to 5 
● Essential Question  ● Students were able to bring  senses  
  out voice within their  ● Clear expectations 
writing   with the 
  pre-assessment. 
Students had a few 
questions on certain 
words but Ms. 
Hernandez helped 
provide examples. 
Students were then 
able to put words in 
right section of the 
map  
● Went over the writing 
rubric 
● What they learned was 
used as an exit slip 
(sticky notes) 

Classroom  ● Fluidity  ● Attention Getters:   Attention Getters:  


Management  ● Behavior of students  ○ Da-dada-da-da  ● Use “Stop, Eyes on 
● Pacing  ○ Class pebbles  Me” 
● Attention getters  (Students were  ● Walking around to talk 
● Compliance  excited/engaged to 
to students  
get pebbles) 
○  

Times    ● Specific amount to have  ● Specific amount to 


Management   ● Transitions  students do a task was stated  have students do a task 
● Start and finish on time  ● Students finished on time   we stated 
● Fluidity  ● Students finished on 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 35

● Pacing  time  
● Transitions were given 
and used effectively 

Engagement   ● Were the students  ● Pre-test Quick Write,  ● Talkative students 


paying attention?  students was engaged,  were split up. 
● Student conversations  having fun. Students were  ● Students were engaged 
● Student responses to  and was able to 
excited to share 
questions  complete job tasks for 
● Student responses to  ● 1 Group was more talkative  their roles  
directions  than the other group   ● One student was 
● Participation    disengaged 
● Type of work being  ○ He was off to 
done, produced 
the side 
● Side conversations 
(off-task) 
● External distractions 
● Motivators 
● Superstars & 
Wallflowers 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Resources 
Running head: CHILD DEVELOPMENT AND VOICE IN ESSAY WRITING 36

 
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