‘Elegant’ would have been just a crass insult to this place.

‘Otherworldly,’ ‘exquisite,’ ‘mesmerizing’

were better words when it came to describing it.
When he got the invitation, Yoongi thought it was going to be just another weirdly disappointing
wedding with tasteless decorations and dishonest vows sated with faked interest. Even though the paper
was of an unusual finesse, the template was bold yet ingenious, and the text seemed sincere enough, he
refused to believe that one of his childhood friends could have a decent wedding, let alone a remarkable
one.
The 20th of April was the day he discovered he couldn’t have been more wrong.
The ceremony had been perfect. He had never been a fan of religious acts of any kind, yet he was obliged
to admit the atmosphere was similar to what heaven was rumored to be. Creamy whites with subtle
details of gold and silver, peachy undertones in the form of flowers told of clouds and blessed skies,
seemingly expanding the church’s walls to infinity. The silent murmur of the crowd was complimenting
the priest’s humming voice in a way Yoongi never thought could be possible, and the candid happiness
mixed with love that seemingly shimmered in every present person’s eyes was of a shivering acuity. It
felt like a prank, or maybe a dream, but definitely not real.
The next hours passed in rushes that left Yoongi wondering if anything really happened the way he
remembered. He struggled to let himself enjoy each second that passed, and hoped to catch glimpses of
people’s eyes, to see that spur of fortune that seemed to swim in the colors of their irises. Yet he never
did, because no eyes focused on his, all too caught up in watching someone else. It made him feel almost
out of place, as if he was the one taint on the bride’s dress or that doubt that seeds into one’s mind when
following one’s dream.
That feeling left him with a sour taste on his tongue, and a dampening mood. He saw how beautiful and
downright impossible everything around him was, yet he could only focus on how lonely he was in that
swarm of chaotic happiness and pure excitement.
The party had found him 3000 feet deep in depression and still sinking, but also gave him the excuse to
drink and forget. Forgiveness for himself, he didn’t find, but the alcohol made it somewhat better.
-
‘’m not that drunk, Namjoon, trust me.’
‘Are you sure? Yoongs, you sound drunk to me.’
‘I’m just sad, you insensible fuck.’ That gained him a few scowls from the middle-aged women who
were happily chatting with each other just a moment ago and an exasperated sigh from the man on the
other side of the line. He couldn’t say he was feeling sorry for either of them.
‘And why are you so sad?’
‘I’m sad cause this is the one best wedding I’ve ever been to and no one will talk to me. Namjoon, am I
such a forever alone that no one can even talk to me? Not even that old fuck that lived next to me back
in Daegu? I asked him how life’s been for him lately and he seened me, Joon, he fucking seened me.’
‘Have you slept last night?’
‘Yeah, I don’t have eye bags, but your rude ass will if you don’t comfort me.’ The ladies next to him
were looking more worried with every passing second, and Yoongi wasn’t sure if it was because their
own safety might have been in danger (he figured he looked like he could kill a man with his bare hands
in that moment, but he was not to blame), or because of the tears that had been welling up in his eyes
for a good time. It was most probably the former.
‘I told you to bring someone with you, but you said, I quote, I don’t need anyone’s company.’
‘That was 5 days ago, I changed my mind now.’
‘I can see that.’
‘Joon, you’re not helping at all.’
‘I know that, Yoongs, but you’re a lost cause right now. You’ve got to admit that.’
‘Yeah, you’re right.’
There was silence for a while, and something akin to compassion nestled in the ladies’ half smiles. He
guessed he could go and talk to them, maybe find an opportunity to talk some shit about his ex-boyfriend,
maybe down another wine bottle. Maybe.
He mumbled a quick ‘bye’ to Namjoon, then hung up immediately, not leaving the other any time to
answer. He pocketed his phone with a sour look on his face and a worsened mood, then looked over to
the dance floor.
The bride and groom were swaying around to the softest classical music he had ever heard (he blessed
the Gods for not having to deal with bad up-tempo songs that sounded like monkeys had discovered the
synthesizer and decided music production was their meaning in this universe), and around them couples
of all ages were doing the same thing. If he strained his ears a little, he was sure he could hear the
happiness those people were basking in, and he hated it. He just wanted some company, but even the
ladies had left the moment he stopped looking at them.
He looked around a bit, trying to spot them, and was surprised to see them in the company of a young
man looking around his age, chatting enthusiastically. The boy was throwing them warm smiles, and he
could see that the women were fascinated by his presence. He wished he was there with them, but was
taken by surprise when the whole group turned to him all at once.
His posture drastically changed to moment their eyes laid upon him, scrutinizing orbs that seemed to
bore holes into him. His back straightened, and his expression went from blank to that of a deer caught
in the headlights in the span of a second, he could feel it. His skin suddenly felt tighter in a way, and his
poor heart was beating in jubilation, even if he wished to disappear right away.
The moment the man bid his farewell to the ladies (he swears he saw one of them swoon), Yoongi
decided he was better off dead, and encouraged his heart to beat faster. With every step the boy took in
his direction, he cared less and less about how his death might sadden the newlyweds and maybe spoil
their celebration forever. He just wanted to disappear into thin air and never return.
However, he wasn’t quick enough.
‘Would you like a dance, my good gentleman?’
Even his voice sounded like a heavenly blessing, God.
He stared dumbly at the male’s expression, trying to make out any secluded intention his actions might
have had, but found nothing. He then let his gaze scan the room in hope of finding an escape, and
remembered this day was under the law of a homophobic God, if the exclusively heterosexual couples
on the dance floor were anything to go by.
He coughed once, stifling the sound in his hand, then felt calmness flood over his senses again. He knew
he could get the upper hand in the conversation, and he was going to. (He didn’t want to admit he’d pay
to dance with the other. He was too scared. Of what, he did not know.)
‘Wouldn’t that break the heteronormativity that is deeply engraved in these people’s hearts?’
The fall of Icarus was comparable to that of the boy’s face. To Yoongi’s surprise, that charming smile
found its way back over his features quicker than expected.
‘I guess it would, but God called me yesterday and told me it’d be a greater sin not to eat your ass
tonight.’
Yoongi was thankful he did not have any form of liquid in his mouth at that moment, or his shoes’
funeral would have been the next event on his schedule.
The loud gasp that came from Yoongi’s left a moment after wasn’t even coming close to the stupefaction
he felt on the inside, but he found himself unable to react. On one hand, he was simply disgusted with
the boy’s attempt at flirting. On the other hand, he felt like he had to applaud him for his clever
comeback.
He settled for an uneasy chuckle, then a fully-fledged laugh that he hoped not too many people heard.
The thanked the alcohol in his system for the added hilarity the scene had in his eyes, and let himself go
for one moment in the whole day. He hadn’t realized how tense he had been until the boy offered him
an occasion to let loose.
He thanked the ladies for being his wingmen (wingwomen?), then took the other’s hand which was still
waiting for approval, a question of his name hanging loosely on his tongue.
-
Yoongi never considered himself one to fall in love at first sight, but he never considered people like
Hoseok existed either.
Though now that he was looking at him, really looking at him, Yoongi wanted to take back all the
problematic words he had ever muttered regarding romance movies, soap operas, or even Namjoon’s
short-lived crushes. Everything about the boy, his soft hair, the slight upturn of his lips which never
seemed to wear out, his subtle eyeliner which made Yoongi question his reticence regarding make-up,
everything felt like a good reason to marry him, or at least that’s what the alcohol in him thought.
However, the one thing that convinced Yoongi it was time to go down on one knee (he thought 27 years
had been enough time to prepare for this kind of commitment) did not have to do with his appearance,
personality, humor, or anything else. It was the 5 king-sized slices of cake Hoseok had managed to
inhale in a record time of 13 minutes without dying. Yoongi wasn’t sure he had eaten that much sugar
in his entire lifetime, also taking into consideration the three bites he swallowed before almost choking
at the other’s speed (and dimples, which instantly became another point on Yoongi’s ‘Why I should
marry Jung Hoseok’ list.)
Min Yoongi fell for the sweetest tooth he had ever had the honor to witness.
-
‘If I couldn’t see you right now, alive and breathing, I’d bet all my money you’re dead.’
Hoseok’s expression was a thoughtful one, laced with the subtlest hint of amusement as he hummed in
approval. A smile grew on his face moments later, catching Yoongi’s heart off guard for the nth time
that night.
‘You’d be surprised, but that’s not the most sugar I ate in one go.’
Yoongi was definitely surprised, but a lot more worried too.
‘Are you sure you don’t have diabetes? I don’t want to take you to ER for our first date, Hoseok.’
He could have worded that a lot better, but it was too late, Hoseok was already eyeing him with
newfound interest and maybe just a tad of pure excitement hiding behind it (it made Yoongi’s heart melt
in the best way possible.)
‘That means you’d consider taking me on a date?’ His voice made it seem like Yoongi was offering to
film a porn video with him, the playful glint swimming in his eyes only adding to the impression.
‘Why do you say it like that? It makes me feel uncomfortable.’
‘Can I kiss you.’

This is it, he thought. This is how I die.

‘Yoongi-hyung? Why are you turning white? Are you okay?’
I have to do something, I can’t let him just step on my pride like that.
‘Hyung, I don’t like the way you’re looking at me right –‘
Yoongi didn’t know if kissing Hoseok first had saved his pride, but the taste of the boy’s lips against his
sure was worth it.
-
‘Namjoon, I think I broke him.’
‘What? Who? Huh?’
‘Aren’t you just the epitome of eloquence?’
‘Hyung, I don’t think insulting me will get you anywhere. Now tell me, what happened?’
‘Okay, so like. I met a guy here.’
‘Cool.’
‘And I kind of want to marry him.’
‘Okay?’
‘And at some point, he asked if he could kiss me.’
‘That sounds great.’
‘Uh, yeah, but remember how I freak out really easily, right?’
‘That doesn’t sound great.’
‘It doesn’t, right? Well, anyway, I kissed him first. And we made out for like, half an hour?’
‘Wow, that sounds like the most action you’ve got in your entire life.’
‘Your sassiness isn’t helping, Joon.’
‘Sorry, hyung.’
‘Apology accepted.’
‘I’m more surprised no one called you out for making out in the middle of a wedding, though.’
‘We found a really nice place behind a rubber plant that’s bigger than a tree, no one can really see us.’
‘That explains some things. Well, what happened afterwards?’
‘He said he’ll be back in a moment, then left.’
‘Oh.’
‘I fucked it up, didn’t I?’
‘Maybe he’s just fanboying over it in a bathroom stall, who knows?’
‘Am I that much of a good kisser?’
‘From what I remember from summer ’09, you sure are.’
‘Joon, he’s coming.’
‘What?’
‘Hoseok, he’s coming back. Oh, dear goodness, what am I going to do.’
‘I’d say not dying would be best.’
Yoongi hung up without bothering to say goodbye, and made a mental note to get better friends who
actually helped him in emergency situations.