The Genius Method

21 Tools to Access Potential and Deepen Awareness

 Table of Contents
Foreword

Part I – Personal Genius

Chapter 1 – Meditation Demystified

Chapter 2 – Getting Grounded

Chapter 3 – Easy Intro to Intuition

Chapter 4 – The Inner Bell

Chapter 5 – Anchoring Resource States

Chapter 6 – Moving from Victimhood to Empowerment

Chapter 7 – Triggers and Shadows

Part II – Emotional Genius

Chapter 8 – What is this Ego Thing, Anyway

Chapter 9 – Is this Mine

Chapter 10 – Opening the Heart

Chapter 11 – The Journey of Acceptance

Chapter 12 – The Power of Vulnerability

Chapter 13 – The Art of Listening

Chapter 14 – Mastering the Emotional Vibration

Part III – Applied Genius

Chapter 15 – The Art of Learning

Chapter 16 – Getting out of the Busy Trap

Chapter 17 – Real Manifestation

Chapter 18 – Exploring Resistance

Chapter 19 – Reading the World

Chapter 20 – Personal Power

Chapter 21 – The Healing Way

Afterword
 Foreword
This book is written as an offering, a way for me to share things that I have encountered along my
journey, and a simple expression of some of the beauty I have experienced. It’s also been a journey
in itself, attended by all the little things that pop up along the way. Is what I have to share of value?
Who am I to be writing something that is meant to provide tools for people to move into a greater
connection with their potential, with what is possible for each of us as human beings in this journey
through life?

Well, who am I?

No one special, really. And what I have to offer is nothing special. Nothing holy or profound, no
system or road that should be travelled to the exclusion of all others. These are simple tools,
hopefully geared for anyone that might encounter them, and all in the hopes that the encounter will
benefit all involved.

I stand in awe of what we are as humans, even as I can’t claim to fully understand it. But, ever since
I can remember, I’ve been struck by a sense of something vast and deep, something beyond the
games and roles we play, beyond the stories that form the framework of our existence. Or that have
formed the framework of mine anyway. I can’t speak for anyone or anything else.

When I was young, it felt as if the magic and wonder of life were deeply hidden, almost forgotten. It
felt to me that those I saw were playing their roles so well they had lost sight of any other way of
connecting with the world. All of this is a reflection, really. I see what is in me in all that I encounter.
And so, this writing is really about owning the purpose I have chosen.

I see myself as a storyteller. All words are stories, really. Ways of seeing the world and
understanding our place within it. It seems to me that some stories open up my experience of life,
and some close it off. I want to tell stories of the first kind, to myself and to those around me. Tales
that inspire a sense of possibility, that feed a sense of wonder, and that bring our own unique and
distinct magic into focus.

I call this book The Genius Method, but that seems a bit presumptuous now. In my characteristically
cheeky way, I use the word differently than it is normally used. I see genius as a word that describes
those points of illumination that offer new ways of connecting with the world and with our own
potential. An idea that points to the amazing qualities that we all possess and how we might step
into those qualities more fully. One thing that makes me hesitate, almost makes me want to change
the title, is the connotation of elitism that can come with it. As if genius were something possessed
by the rare few. I stand in awe of life, of all people, of all of creation. And I feel that we all have
equal merit, that we all have amazing intuition and skills that would surprise us in their emergence.

I see life in many ways. A playground, a schoolhouse, a theatre, and a grand joke. A living, moving
work of art. A dance, and a collection of illusions. Meaning nothing and everything all at once. A
mystery and a joy. Perhaps most of all, a gift. If what I have offered in this work helps even one
person to embrace this gift and move further into a sense of joyful expression within it, then it has
been right to share it. As it stands, it has been right as a personal journey, and has been a beautiful
opportunity to see deeper into my own stories.

Sometimes I lose sight of the beauty of things. I get challenged by the bumps in the road, as we
probably all do. And the fact that I haven’t come to some place beyond these challenges is one of
the things that has caused me to hesitate in this creation. I’m not perfect. And then, I am. As we all
are. In our flaws and imperfections, exactly right and exactly where we need to be. And each time I
encounter a challenge, each time I forget the beauty of my experience and walk the path once more
to remembrance, my appreciation and gratitude for this thing called life becomes deeper.

Another challenge that has come along is that I look back at my writing and see the ways that I have
grown. Ways that I would have expressed things differently if I started all over again. But, if I did
that, I’d likely be in the same place the next time I finished and the cycle would go on forever. So, I’ll
let things stand and let the chips fall where they will. And perhaps the next book will reflect more of
the lessons and growth I’ve experienced while compiling these tools.

I like the word tools, especially with regard to this particular offering. Tools are things that we can
pick up and use if they serve us, and put down if we feel that their time of use has passed, even for a
moment. There are many beautiful systems out there, and I’ve taken quite a few into consideration.
I’ve even had times where I thought I’d found one system, one technique, perception, story, or
spiritual path that had all the answers. That everyone should have and that would be right for each
person. And then I move a little further along my journey and that no longer seems so certain. So, I
simply offer tools and if they work for any who read them, then it’s been beautiful in the sharing as
well as the creation.

I tried to keep this simple and clear, something that anyone can benefit from, regardless of their way
of seeing the world. I’m not sure how well I’ve succeeded at that, but it, like all things, is exactly
right as it is. For something, for someone, somehow.

I want to give thanks to all I’ve encountered thus far along my path. They are too numerous to list
here, but if we’ve met, I’m thinking of you right now. Every person I’ve ever encountered has
offered me something beautiful. Sometimes in a challenge, sometimes in a teaching, sometimes a
sharing or a quiet healing moment. And some of the biggest things almost pass by unnoticed in the
moment. Passed by, but not forgotten. So the biggest thanks I can give is to Spirit, for all of the
experiences I’ve ever had, for every step along this path. Every fall and every rise. Each has been
integral to where I stand now, to this moment of my life. I give thanks to the challenges and the
joys, to the points of humbling loss and soaring excitement, as they have all made me who I am. And
I give thanks to the mystery of being, to the uncertainty that keeps me guessing and keeps things
interesting.

With all of the blessings I can offer, thank you to each of you who now read these words. With
humility and respect, with honest gratitude, I honor you for being exactly who you are. And to all
who touch your lives, and those who touch theirs, and on into the entire circle of creation. Thank
you.
 Part I
Personal Genius

Have you ever felt that there was something grand and magical about your life? Something beyond
the grasp of the stories of science, money, and the practical necessities we’ve been taught to see as
the nature of the world? Some would say that we need these secret hopes and dreams to
compensate for the harshness of our existence. I don’t buy it.

For me, life confirms the magic and beauty of our existence in a thousand tiny ways, every time I
stop and look around. Every time I count my blessings or really pay attention to the joy and grace
that surrounds me. This awareness can be strained in the difficult moments, might even be lost for a
time under the rush and pressure of the things that inevitably come up in the journey of life. But it’s
never been lost to me completely. And, though all I have is my own experience to go by, I feel that
we all have a bit of the same. A secret spark of limitless potential that we almost fear to claim, that
seems a bit too grand to own.

When I hear the word genius, it’s easy to think of those people in history that have come to novel
ideas or accomplished great things. But, when I think about it this way, I tend to overlook all the
little things that everyday people do all the time. We each have a connection with genius in the little
gifts that we bring into the world. Things we do well without even noticing, artistic skills, ways of
communicating, sharing and relating to others, and things that we understand naturally.

I feel that these little skills, these moments of genius, are a matter of alignment. They are times that
we step into a place of connecting with ourselves and our world in a way that allows our natural
potential to flow through. We have so much more potential than we often recognize. So much
more knowledge and wisdom available to us than we sometimes tap into. And it is within the reach
of each of us to learn ways to connect with this skill, grace, and potential on ever deeper levels.

It seems to me that part of the key is to let the parts of our being do what they are best at. Our
deeper levels of awareness absorb every experience we encounter, in perfect and vivid detail.
Below the threshold of consciousness, we calculate, evaluate, tap into levels of intuition that can
seem downright superhuman at times. The messages from this deeper part of our being rise into
our experience through subtle signals in the body, quiet flows of energy, flashes of intuition, and
emotions that enter our field perfectly on cue. Every situation we experience is an opportunity to
embrace and bring forth these deeper gifts.

I don’t believe there is any right way to do this. And probably no wrong way either. The paths to
our growth, expansion, and development may be as many and varied as the billions of people on the
planet, each having their own right path laid forth in subtle and beautifully unique ways. What I can
do is offer some tools and techniques that have helped me, at various times along my journey, to
step into a deeper connection with my potential, my awareness, and my experience.

One of the biggest shifts in my life was, at its core, very subtle. It was a movement from “why I
can’t” to “maybe I can.” This simple change of emphasis had me looking at how I spend my time and
energy. Why do I do what I do, and does it serve me? Is it because I have to? Because I have never
stopped to consider that there might be a different way to approach things? These questions helped
me to start seeing where my life was just playing out the patterns that had been provided to me.
And to start considering what I would really like to create with my experience. And it urged me to
take inventory. To ask, what am I really capable of? And what do I really want?
I have investigated a number of things in my life and this exploration left me a bit scattered. I’m
grateful for this, as it kept me from clinging to any one thing and defining myself in those terms. At
the same time, when I began to step into service, to offer the things that I had explored to those I
encountered, I was a bit at a loss to explain what I do. Yoga, meditation, martial arts, astrology,
tarot, energy work, what would you like? Take your pick. Bit of a mixed back of oddities and
eccentricities.

What I eventually found is that all of the things I do have a common center. A common value that
each serves in its own way. What I consider valuable, what I would like for my time, my energy, and
my message to serve, is the empowerment, freedom, and purposeful living of all that I encounter.
Myself included. I can, I can choose what to dedicate my energies to, and I can make this choice in a
meaningful way that serves a fulfilling purpose in the world. It’s an act of unlimiting. And maybe, of
awakening, though I don’t really know about all that. It gets a bit vague, and from that space it’s
easy for me to fall into story. My continual challenge is to keep my understanding of the world and
my work within it as grounded as possible. In experience, in the moment, and in authentic
honouring of myself and my relations. Nothing more and nothing less.

This book was inspired by the work that I do with people in personal readings, healings, and lessons.
I found that I was offering certain techniques I have found in the course of my journey to many of
the people that I worked with. And, little by little, it came to me that it might be nice to offer them
in a way that reaches a few more people than I can do face to face. I don’t make any grand claims
about the one right path or the only way to do anything. And I don’t hold to any system. It’s always
seemed to me that the world is too big, too beautiful, and too complex to be bound by anything like
that. But these tools have been useful for me along the path. They’ve helped me to deal with some
of the bumps in the road, to listen to those subtle things that drop in and offer guidance, and to step
into a bit more of what I can be in the world, for myself, and for all that I encounter.

To wrap this up before I go into the tools themselves, I’ll pass along something that my father told
me when I was younger, something that has always stuck with me: “Look at everything you can, and
take from it what works for you.” So, with sincere blessings, gratitude, and humility, I offer these
tools, for whatever good they might provide.
 Chapter 1
Meditation Demystified

Ok: Don’t think of the color red…

How’s it working for you so far?

This is the problem that most people have with meditation. The common idea is that meditation is a
state where we finally get the mind to stop its constant narrative and just be quiet. That might be
the result after long years of practice and a few techniques to aid us along the way. Most of us,
though, will find it easier to direct the mind along a narrow stream.

Sound a bit abstract? Here’s a solid example, something that’s easy to grasp. Don’t think of the
color red. Ok, blue. We might have a flash of red come in, but once we train ourselves to substitute
the thought of blue, it becomes pretty easy to fix the mind onto a different point. So, how can this
principle help us? How can we actually put it to use?

One of the best ways I’ve found to use the principle of thought substitution with regard to
meditation is to focus on the breath. We all have to breathe. There may be short periods where we
hold the breath, or times of shock or absorption where we forget to breathe, but these times are
brief. Breath is a constant, and as such, a constant opportunity for awareness and focus. Another
such constant is the body. We can direct the mind to focus on the body during periods of
meditation. Not just in some vague or abstract way, but with definite purpose. Like getting the
body to relax. If you’ve tried meditation and found it difficult, this is a beautiful way to begin. Just
breathe, and pay attention to each breath.

Try to relax the body with each breath. One way to do this is to do a body scan, bringing the
attention up through the body. Start with the toes, visualizing and feeling any tension within the
body slip away with each exhalation. Allow the attention to progress through the entire body, all
the way to the top of the head. Let any tension that you become aware of along the way slip away
as you become aware of it. Alternately, you can address the body as a whole, relaxing the whole
being further and further with each breath. If you become aware of places of tension, see the
breath entering those spaces. Imagine the tension flowing out with each exhalation.

Great. So we’ve got that down. But what’s the use of it? Why should we learn this meditation stuff
anyway? In order to answer that most effectively, I’ll have to go into brain waves. Don’t worry. I’ll
keep it short and sweet.

We spend most of our time in

the waking state, described in
terms of brain rhythm as the
Beta frequency. This state is
good for solving problems, for
dealing with timing, schedules,
and all the practical stuff. It’s
the most “conscious,” in a way.
But when we are in this state,
different parts of the brain are asynchronized. That means that they are operating independently of
one another. Another way to look at it is that, while we are in the Beta frequency, our computation
is limited to the information present in the conscious mind. It’s common enough knowledge now
that there is far more information and computational capacity present within the mind than is
normally accessible in the waking state. The common way to express it is that we use only 10% of
our brains. Not exactly true, but valid enough to illustrate a point.

Consider all of the information that is available for recall during periods of hypnosis. Distinct details
that were overlooked by the conscious mind, details and fragments of conversation or song that we
took little or no notice of. The mind is a sponge, absorbing everything that we come into contact
with. From another perspective, consider all of the tiny calculations that are involved in keeping the
body balanced during walking, recognizing the location of sounds that we hear, processing nuances
of speech, tone, or facial expressions. These are just a few examples out of a wealth of seemingly
simple activities that could illustrate the point just as well.

My point here is that the subconscious mind is responsible for retaining and cataloguing details so
numerous that it would leave the conscious mind spinning. It then uses all of these factors to make
complex calculations, the smallest of which would leave the conscious mind boggled and struggling
for hours. Each of us has a genius under the hood, working away at details that are essential to our
normal function. Every moment of every day.

What if you could tap into even a fragment of this computational capacity? What if you could
communicate with this genius and use it for learning, creation, intensive perception, or life strategy?
Is this something that you could benefit from?

Probably didn’t even have to blink to do that calculation, eh?

So here’s where meditation comes in. When we slow our breathing and relax our bodies, our brain
enters the Alpha rhythm. The frequency slows down measurably. But faster is better, right? Not
necessarily. See, when the brain slows down just a little bit, it begins to behave more
synchronistically. More parts of the brain hop onto the bandwagon and begin to act in concert with
one another. In practical terms, this means that more of the information held within the normally
subconscious areas of the mind becomes accessible to conscious processing. It becomes easier for
intuition to flow. We begin to have access to information that we didn’t even know we possessed.
That’s when the aha moments can happen. The “Eureka!” moment that happened when
Archimedes entered the bath, the brilliant moments of awareness that came in for Einstein or
Nietzsche, each of these occurred when they were relaxed enough for their minds to connect points
of information outside of the consciously recognized patterns. When we enter the alpha rhythm,
the interference between our conscious and subconscious minds drops away, and the moments of
brilliance enter our experience naturally.

Meditation is one way to practice entering and maintaining the Alpha brain rhythm. That means
that it helps us to tap into a greater percentage of brain function. Or, more accurately, to bring
more of the natural power of the mind into conscious focus. That means that it helps us to learn
better, perform better, think faster, and become more aware of what is going on around us. All of
this becomes accessible through a simple practice of slowing the breath and relaxing the body.

The benefits of meditation don’t end there, though. Spending a bit of time in the Alpha rhythm each
day is a great way to reduce stress. And, since stress lowers the immune system and puts the body
through hell, having a simple and easy way to reduce stress levels in minutes (without drugs) is
invaluable. If we want to get more technical, the Alpha rhythm corresponds to the threshold
between the conscious and subconscious mind. It puts us in a state where conscious intentions and
visualizations actually direct the process of the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is
responsible for directing all of the functions of the body. It conducts the processes of growth,
healing, digestion, and all of the myriad operations of the body that usually escape our notice.
When we slow the rhythm of our thought, we can consciously direct the functions normally
controlled by the subconscious. We can literally tell our body to heal faster, to grow in different
ways, and to function more effectively. We can use the power of the mind to fight all manner of
illnesses, instruct our body to build muscle mass or burn fat, address organic dysfunctions,
encourage our body to grow in specific ways, and induce nerve growth.

We are moving towards an understanding of this in the medical community, but it goes slowly. Too
slowly for my tastes. We need years of research and peer-reviewed articles just to get the foot in
the door. Just to suggest scientifically that these things are possible in the human experience. What
I would like to do is move directly into the application of these potentials. To move into the how
rather than spending years shooting in the dark to figure out a why that answers all of our doubt and
scepticism. Let us play with what we can do with our human experience without waiting for the
authorities to tell us that we can. Because of this, you won’t find this information in modern
scientific texts. Nor will you find current research to substantiate these claims. On one level, then,
I’m going out on a limb to tell you this. My own experience and personal practice have given me
sufficient faith in these techniques and potentials to feel comfortable expressing this knowledge,
and I hope you’ll give it the chance as well. There’s nothing to lose from exploring the possibility.

Some aspects of these potentials have indeed been documented with case studies. Athletes can
(and do) use light meditation and visualization to improve their performance in a number of sports.
There are accounts of cancer being sent into remission through meditation and visualization. Of
white blood cell counts being raised substantially or stress indicators in the body dropping
significantly once these practices have been initiated. Enough scientific evidence to suggest to me
that it’s worth exploring further.

There’s no need to start with such extreme feats, however. If you’re in school or at the office, you
have a perfect opportunity to try it out. Once you get comfortable entering a light meditative state,
try to put yourself in that space before going to work or to class. Take notes, move around, do all of
the things you need to function in the class, but try to talk bit less. Try to maintain a sense of calm
and focus, concentrating your attention on the task at hand. Try out a light state of meditation in
tests, meetings, or interviews and see for yourself. When we enter a meditative state, we become
more capable at accomplishing any task imaginable. It’s about the most practical thing we can learn
to do.

To take this a bit further, many of the techniques described in this book show how to direct our
energy through visualization and intention. We can do this much more effectively once we learn to
alter the brain rhythm through meditation. Some cultures call this vital energy chi, and those that
have explored the quality and nature of chi have found that, while it is somewhat responsive to even
waking thought, the lower levels of consciousness can be enlisted to focus and direct far more
energy than we can direct with the conscious state alone. If we wanted to translate this into
scientific terms, we could say that the subconscious is responsible for directing the chi through our
bodies and beings in order to maintain the moment-by-moment operations necessary for survival
and regular function.

When the conscious and subconscious parts of the mind begin to work together, our energy and will
is brought into alignment. With this state of alignment, we can consciously direct the vital energy to
accomplish anything we can imagine, anything within the potential of the vital energy of humanity.
The really exciting thing is that we really don’t know the limits of our potential. I believe that we are
capable of pretty much anything we can imagine and believe. There may be some limits to this, but
we really can’t say what they are. The only way to know what we are really capable of is through
practice and experience. If meditation is one path to tap into deeper levels of human potential, than
it merits a bit of investigation.

So, with all that science talk out of the way, let’s look into a quick and easy technique to get you
there:

Technique: Alpha Meditation

1. Find a spot that you can sit or lay comfortably without being disturbed.

You may find it easier to stay awake if you sit up, but feel free to lay down if you find it more
comfortable. Try to give yourself about a half-hour of undisturbed time at first. After a bit
of practice, you’ll find it easier to move into the meditative state. When I first began, I had
to turn all the lights off and have absolute quiet around me. After some practice, I found
that I could enter an alpha rhythm even in crowded, noisy situations with only a few breaths.

2. Focus on your breathing. Slow it down, smoothing the inhalation and the exhalation. It’s best if
the exhalation is at least as long as the inhalation.

Bring the awareness into the body. Allow the chatter in your mind to still, focusing on the
rhythm of your breathing. Don’t worry about the thoughts that come up from time to time.
Just return to the breath, again and again. Once again, this becomes easier and more
natural each time you do it.

3. Begin counting down, one count per breath.

You may wish to begin with 100 at first. The actual count is unimportant, and can be
dispensed with as time goes on. At first, though, it may take a while to slow the mind
enough to drop out the constant chatter. Plus, taking the time to count down from 100 feels
absolutely amazing. It’s the perfect drug-free balm for a long, stressful day. Once it
becomes easier, you may wish to use a key number that programs the state into your
consciousness. This is personal. I like seven, but any number will do, so long as it gives you
the chance to reach a state of deep relaxation.

4. With each breath, each count, feel the body relax further. Feel any tension sliding away with each
exhalation.

As mentioned above, you can do this with a body scan, beginning at the toes and working
your way up to the head. You can also relax the whole body at once, moving the awareness
from one point of tension to another, relaxing organically. A third method is tension and
release, similar to the body scan, but tensing each part of the body as much as possible, then
releasing. This method is ideal for those who find it hard to relax. Sometimes we don’t even
know what it feels like to be fully relaxed. A little extra tension can trick the body into
letting go.

5. Continue the count until you reach zero. Rest in this state, allowing your being to heal and
recuperate.

Allow yourself to remain here as long as you wish. This is the exercise itself; it allows stress
to slide away, cures insomnia, and creates a state where the mind and body can recover. It
can also create a foundation for active visualization and other intentional meditations. You
can use this meditation to ease you into the sleep state, to prepare yourself for athletic or
 intellectual performance, or simply to recuperate after a period of stress. If you choose, you
can visualize healing or strengthening of the body, rehearse future performance, or implant
suggestions that focus your mind and body upon future tasks. In short, it’s an ideal state to
direct your energy, for healing or any purpose you can imagine.

6. When you are ready to return to an alert state, count upwards from one to five.

Deepen the breathing with each count, speeding it up slightly in the process. Allow your
awareness to become focused in the body, on the sensations you currently experience, the
presence of the room around you. Upon the last count, open your eyes. When you’re
ready, start moving slowly and gradually. Remember to be gentle with your body during this
state of transition. If you wish to bring the alpha rhythm into your active state for
performance, keep the awareness lightly focused on the breath.

This may sound a bit too easy to be effective. And it is easy, but it’s also one of the most effective
things you can learn to do. It’s one way to deepen awareness, tap into intuition, increase mental
performance, and to release stress quickly and easily. It also helps to integrate all the various bits of
information you need for whatever task you are about to accomplish. To top it off, it paves the way
for more complex energy work. Don’t take my word for it, though. This is a technique and a
practice. Give it a go and see how it works for you.

Voila! Meditation demystified.

 Chapter 2
Getting Grounded

Have you ever walked into a room and realized you’ve forgotten why you came in in the first place?
Maybe you’ve been looking for something, and later realized that it was already in your hand.
Maybe you’re driving along a familiar road and then realize that you’ve arrived without even being
aware of the journey. Or you may have been in those places where you have so many things going
on that you find it hard to focus. If you can relate, then you know exactly how it feels to be
ungrounded. We’ve all been there, at some point or another. With so many things happening
around us in every moment, it’s almost inevitable.

On a really simple level, getting grounded means becoming more present, more aware of your body
and of what’s going on around us. On a deeper level, getting grounded reboots the system, bringing
every level of the being into alignment and helping us to function more effectively. Grounding can
help to fight depression, improve concentration, release stress, and benefit health. It helps us to
access our intuition, tunes us into spiritual guidance, and brings our awareness into focus. It can
help us to feel calmer and more capable of handling whatever life throws our way. When we are
grounded, we sleep better and we are more alert and aware for each of the little challenge that
enter our experience. Getting grounded is something so basic and intrinsic to our experience,
something that offers so many benefits, that it’s almost a shame it’s not taught as one of the basic
skills of being human.

So, how do we get ungrounded? First, I’ll address some of the physical things that can leave us
ungrounded, and then I’ll take a look at some of the subtler causes. Some of the physical things that
can leave us ungrounded are:

1. Not walking barefoot regularly.

2. Living in a high-rise building many stories off the ground.
3. Not taking the time to swim in grounded water.
4. Being surrounded by electrical devices like computers, cell phones, and televisions.
5. Using electrical devices while they’re plugged in and charging.
6. Living beneath electrical towers and power lines.

One of the simplest things we can do to get physically grounded is to take our shoes off. We can get
our feet in the grass and release the charge we’ve been soaking up in the bustle and hubbub of the
city. Nature time, in general, is amazing for balancing out energies that have been ungrounded by
electric pollution. Swimming in water that touches the earth is powerful, cleansing, and restorative
on a number of levels. And to improve the quality of energy in our homes or apartments, we can
remove the electrical appliances from the bedroom. Give it a try. Switch off the Wi-Fi as you sleep,
and put the charger as far from the sleeping area as possible. You’ll be amazed at the difference this
makes in your night’s rest.

There are some other basic things that can be done to get grounded. Physical exercise is beautiful
for releasing unbalanced energy and getting centered in the body and the moment. Spending time
in nature. Eating earthy grounded foods. Any activity that we do consciously, like spending a bit of
time really paying attention to the food that we eat, or to each breath we take. To each movement.
It might take a bit of practice to tune in and actually be present to all our daily activities, because
we’re used to going on autopilot so much of the time. The payoff is pretty remarkable though.
When we pay attention to even the smallest and most seemingly insignificant act, it becomes a
meditation and an opportunity to expand consciousness.

That just about covers it for the physical bits, but the subtler energies have just as much of an effect
on our lives. We can become ungrounded when our energy becomes drawn in many directions at
once, or when our attention is regularly focused on things that don’t keep us present, aware, and
anchored in the body. Busy schedules, lack of attention to the body, dramatic or powerful emotions,
and persistent fear and anxiety, each of these things can put us in an ungrounded state. These are
just a few of the conditions we encounter daily and they all take their toll.

We all feel our energy pretty intuitively, and the language we use in everyday life reflects that. Have
you ever felt a bit spacey? Had your head in the clouds? These descriptions are more than just
metaphors. They’re pretty accurate depictions of what’s happening with our energy in the moment.
Sometimes the hectic pace of the modern world gets our minds and heart in a bit of a spin. When
this happens, we become ungrounded. Our thoughts get scattered, and it becomes harder to focus.
When our emotions are confused, it can be hard to tell heads from tails.

Everything is energy, from our thoughts, to our emotions, to the physical condition of our bodies.
Each is a reflection of the energy of our experience in different densities. The ungrounded states
that we sometimes experience are reflected in our energy, presenting in their own unique way
through all of our thoughts and emotions. One basic key of understanding the ungrounded state is
also reflected in the language: it means that our energy is disconnected from the earth. When our
energy is healthy and balanced, the earth provides an anchor. It gives our subtle energies a natural
point of focus and a center around which to concentrate our awareness. An anchor for presence.
Strong emotions, drama, unhealthy work schedules, and focusing on the past or future all pull our
energy away from the earth. Each of these conditions takes us off our center and pulls us out of
connection with the earth. When we become disconnected with the earth, we also lose connection
with the body and the present moment. We enter a state where we are blocked off from our
natural source of power and focus.

The good news is that there’s an easy way to reconnect to the earth, to our bodies, and to the power
and presence of the moment. Our subtle energies are responsive to thought, and that means we
can direct them with our intention. One of the best ways to get grounded is to use our intention to
reconnect with the earth directly. To send our energy down and re-establish our anchor. We can
regain our center easily, anywhere, and with just a brief meditation.

Technique: Grounding Meditation

1. Find a spot where you can sit for a few minutes without being disturbed.

When beginning, it helps to find a place that’s free of distractions, reasonably quiet and in
nature. After a bit of practice, though, you’ll find that you can do this exercise anywhere.
You’ll also find that it takes less time, becoming effortless and reflexive after a short period
of conscious practice. While at first, you may have to take some dedicated meditation time
to get grounded, after a while, you can get grounded in the couple of minutes at the end of
your lunch hour, while standing in line at the grocery store or bank, or anywhere and
anytime you have a few moments to focus.

2. Slow your breathing, inhaling and exhaling smoothly.

 Proper breathing is helpful here. Relax the belly and allow it to fill with the inhalation. Allow
the shoulders to relax, and tune in to your body. Notice any places where you are holding
tension, and let yourself become aware of any thoughts that are popping up in your mind.

3. Begin counting the exhales, starting with 10, and going down to 1.

With each exhalation, feel the tension dropping out of your body. Relax the muscles of the
face, the shoulders, the hands and arms, chest and belly, hips, legs and feet. With each
inhalation, see new energy and new life flooding your being.

4. Next, turn your attention to your spine. As you inhale, watch and feel the energy of your breath
moving down the spine, through the legs and feet, and into the ground. Watch and feel yourself
growing energetic roots that reach all the way down to the center of the earth.

Energy flows where attention goes. As you visualize your breath flowing into the ground,
the subtle energies of your body respond, following the path laid out by your intention. This
reconnects you to the earth, grounds out your energy, and centers you in the body and the
moment. See it with as much clarity as possible, imagining the texture of the roots, feeling
the quality of the earth beneath you. Reach your attention to the core of the earth, feeling
the solidity, the support and nurturing energy of the planet.

5. Allow yourself to remain here as long as you like. When you’re ready to engage with the world
again, breath your attention back up through your body, keeping a sense of the roots beneath you.
See and feel your energy returning through your legs, up your spine, and to the very top of your skull.

This helps us to re-activate. Often, a meditation puts us in a really calm space. That’s
helpful, but it helps to step up the pace and get our energy flowing before we step into the
next task. Sometimes, I like to end with a short count-up, from one to five. I deepen my
breathing and speed it slightly with each count, opening my eyes and bringing my focus back
into the room once the count is complete.

One of the beautiful things about this meditation is that it can be done anywhere. Without having to
rearrange our homes or move out to the country where we won’t be influenced by the background
field of electricity that fills all modern cities. It’s a way of getting grounded that doesn’t require any
externals to make it work.

This is a really basic way of working with energy. One of my teachers once told me that cultivating
chi (the subtle energy of the body) is like building a skyscraper out of sheets of paper. In essence, it
takes time and practice. This particular technique can be done effectively without much
background, but it requires you to be able to get into a quick meditative state and visualize. Anyone
can do it, but in the beginning it takes a bit more conscious focus. Once it is done regularly as a daily
practice, it gets easier and becomes more of a reflex. After time, it will take only a few breaths and a
thought.

One final note: This technique is extremely helpful when dealing with aggression or hostility. When
we take on angry energy, it needs to go somewhere. We can expend it by lashing out, but this
usually causes more harm than good. We can also suppress this energy, holding it in our bodies.
This may be better for the moment, but it can cause stress and even illness if we do it regularly. If
you find yourself in the position of receiving hostile energies from another, try to remember to
ground. Channel the energy of aggression into the earth where it can be recycled as healthy,
balanced energy. You’ll be amazed at the difference this makes in times of conflict and after.
 Chapter 3
An Easy Intro to Intuition

Our intuition is a remarkable and powerful tool. It points out things that our conscious mind would
miss, clues us into clear messages and unexpected solutions to problems. Intuition can sense the
truth of the situation, and delve into the depths of our mind for hidden knowledge. But for many of
us, the use of the intuition is hit-or-miss. Sometimes we get hunches or gut feelings that give
invaluable direction in our course through life. Sometimes we don’t. In those moments, we are left
to the resources of the conscious mind. And these resources fall short all too often.

For those of us who have become accustomed to following it, we know that intuition leads us right
even when we don’t know how we came to the right answer in the first place. And we’ve all had
those times when we didn’t listen. Those inevitable moments of, “I knew I should have…” (Or
shouldn’t have.) Some of the greatest discoveries in science and technology have been made solely
through intuitive flashes. And the most successful people in the world, though different from one
another in nearly every other respect, share the habit of listening to and following this inner voice.

So, the question becomes, how can we make it more reliable? How can we step into a space where
our intuition speaks more loudly or more regularly? The key is learning to listen. Our intuition is
always working, but there’s often so much chatter in the mind that our inner voice can’t overcome
the interference. Zen masters and yogis practice for years to still this inner chatter, eventually
coming to a place of incredible clarity in each aspect of their lives. But is it possible for those of us
who haven’t dedicated decades to such austere disciplines?

The answer is yes. Luckily for all of us, there are ways to create enough space in the mind to allow
our intuition to be heard. And there are ways to focus it, to tune in to the answers we need in the
moment. It’s a practice, and there are as many ways to approach it as there are people on the
planet. We all have our own unique way of connecting with ourselves, and we are each naturally
more tuned-in to some realms of information than others. But the following technique is a beautiful
lead-in that helps access this precious inner voice. It can be used by anyone without any training
whatsoever, and the more you do it, the more reflexive it becomes.

Before I begin the technique, let me address the form in which I give it. It’s a bit spiritual. This might
be just perfect and natural for some, while it might be a bit of a turn-off for others. But intuition,
from one perspective, is accessing our higher guidance, the spirit within, the subconscious mind, or
even God. Whatever we call this part of our being, what we are addressing is the part of ourselves
that is more attuned to the world, the part which recognizes its connection with every aspect of
being. So, use whatever term you like. Do what works for you.

Technique: Intuition in Action

1. Find a piece of paper and something to write with.

You may wish to use a notebook for this exercise, and review these sessions from time to
time. This is a practice, so it could be a daily exercise or one that you use each time you need
to access guidance, clarity, and direction in your life.

2. Frame the question: “Spirit, what should I do today?”

It helps to ask this question each morning, getting a list of things for the day. It can be done
the night before, setting up a clear list for tomorrow. Or, with a slight change in the format,
 it can be used to receive guidance about a specific choice or situation. Simply frame the
question to reflect your needs: “Sprit, what should I do about…”

3. Without thinking about it, jot down anything that pops into your mind.

No censorship. Get it all on paper. No matter how trivial or silly it seems. The intuitive
flashes you receive might not make sense to the conscious mind, and that’s ok. In fact, it’s
to be expected. The aim is to make space. You may want to envision the mind as a blank
screen into which images, impression, words, or thoughts come into focus. I particularly like
the image of a still pool that allows things to emerge from it, rising into the light of
awareness. These impressions may come as flashes or random notions, or in pretty much
any form. Record everything that comes up.

4. Once things slow to a trickle, and once the last impression for the moment has arisen, put the pen
down and review. Is this loving, honest, pure, and unselfish? Try to feel where it comes from. Feel it
in your body. If what you have written doesn’t fit the bill in all four categories, strike a line through
it.

Not everything that flashes into our minds will be from the intuition or higher guidance.
Some of it will be the result of programs, fears, insecurities, unresolved emotional patterns,
or other elements that don’t serve us. After a while, this aspect of the review will become a
matter of reflex. But at first, it will help to double-check what your intuition has provided
with your core values. If the ideas of honesty, love, purity, and unselfishness seem vague,
you can check with the opposite qualities: Is this motivated by fear, resentment, selfishness,
or dishonesty? If it is motivated or colored by any of these four influences, discount it.

5. Keep the list around through the day. Take action on the things that have come up, and watch
what happens when you do.

This is the acid test. You might begin to see that your exercise brings certain things to mind
that you might have otherwise overlooked. It might bring up little details, people to contact,
or things that you have been procrastinating on. You may have someone come to mind, and
it ends up being a miracle in their life or yours when you do reach out and contact them.
These points of synchronicity show us how the intuition operates, and give us the only
meaningful proof available—the proof of value through personal experience.

Intuition is a natural faculty and one that we all possess. It is a part of the function of the deep mind,
accessible to everyone because our true nature and potential is so much greater than we have been
lead to believe. The active, conscious mind is good for many things. It’s a story teller, the residence
of the ego and the identity. But its very nature makes it less capable of determining truth or tuning
in to information that we have not learned or identified with. The key here is to build a bridge. To
use each part of the mind for the tasks each is best suited to perform, and integrate these functions
into a smooth whole.

This exercise trains us to make space. It teaches us to go into ‘receiving mode,’ using our conscious
mind as a relay station for the deeper and more connected messages channelled through the
subconscious. The more that we practice making space, the clearer and more powerful our inner
voice becomes. After a while you may find that tuning in becomes an internal process. You will be
able to frame the question, set your mind to receive, and get all sorts of answers that you have no
conscious reason to have access to. And taking action upon these messages will show you their
value. But, like anything, it requires practice. Not sixty years of meditating in a cave, but at least a
few weeks of learning how to tune in when you need to.

A final note: Be careful with the ideal of selfishness. Our society teaches the value of selflessness,
even though our actions often fall short of this ideal. The truth is, it’s important for each person to
address their own needs. If your ‘being unselfish’ means that you are neglecting your own needs in
order to focus on others, then the ideal has been pushed past the point of value for you. The
greatest gift each of us can give the world is a healthy, functional ‘me.’ This means that we have to
ensure that our needs are fulfilled. Not at the expense of others, but at least taking full
responsibility for addressing these needs inasmuch as we have the power to do so. Otherwise, we
run the risk of becoming so worn down and exhausted that we can’t help others, much less
ourselves. So, ensuring that our needs are met, rather than neglecting them or expecting them to
be met by others, is one of the most unselfish things we can do.
 Chapter 4
The Inner Bell

The world has become global. Gone are the days when we learned what our parents and
grandparents learned, and nothing more. We have ideas from all people around the globe at our
fingertips, access to every different religious and cultural perspective on the planet. Advertisement
coming from billboards, commercials, ideas from books, television, movies, magazines. We take in
more information each day than our ancestors encountered in a year or a decade. And it’s not just a
simple matter of taking it all in—with this massive influx of new information comes a need for
choices. From choices as simple as what we want to get from the grocery store or off the menu at a
restaurant, to those larger life decisions that frame the unfolding of our experience.

This can be exhilarating, and it can be downright overwhelming. What is right? What should I do?
What is the best choice in this situation? What should I believe? How can I move forward? So many
questions, and the more information we take in, the less certain the answers seem. With so many
possibilities and so many decisions at hand, it’s easy to make a hasty move or wait so long to choose
that our opportunities slip away. Choices are a part of daily life, and the mind, though a beautiful
tool for many aspects of experience, is easily caught up into an information spiral at those very times
when choices are the most crucial.

This is more of an issue when we start to wake up, to move beyond our programming and decide
how we want to relate to the world on our own terms. When running our lives on the programming
we receive in the early years, things can seem pretty clear. This is what we should do, and this is
what we shouldn’t. This is how things work. But the situation is never really as simple as that. What
can be right for one person can be exactly the wrong move for another. And the right answer in one
situation might not work so well in another.

On top of that, what is right, anyway? It may be that morality in any form we can put into words is
no more than a social construction, arbitrary and colored by conditions that can change without
notice. There are really no wrong answers and no wrong decisions, for each move we make has
something to teach us. But, when it comes to it, practically and functionally, some choices serve us
better than others. Some choices serve us by helping us to encounter the walls we need to run into,
and others help to move us into places of abundance and deeper connection. How can we tell the
difference between one and the other?

As I mentioned above, the mind isn’t the best faculty to evaluate these choices. It’s all too easy to
see the pros and cons, and then choose something that falls on the other side of the list. Or to be
bewildered by the possibilities inherent in either choice. Thankfully, there is a way. Each of us can
feel where a choice will lead us, whether into those spaces of contraction or expansion. We feel it in
the body, on an energetic level below the threshold of thought. We can tell when the information
presented to us is correct, if it is true or right for us. And this isn’t something we need to rely on the
mind for. It’s all about feeling the energy in the body.

This is a beautiful and simple technique that can be adapted to an infinite number of uses, from
selecting the meal on the menu that best suits your body to deciding which job or home is right. It
can also be used to see if the information provided to you is true and right for you. Or to evaluate
business deals or investments. It works for anything you need to assess for rightness, something
personal and relative. It’s a beautiful technique to draw upon any time you need a yes or no answer.
The really remarkable thing is that we aren’t taught this as a foundation for all further learning.
 Technique: The Inner Bell

1. Sit in a relaxed position with your feet on the ground. Take a breath and relax, tuning in to
the sensations in your body.
2. Keep your attention on the energy and the subtle feelings within your body.
3. While watching the energy, say something that you know is true. Don’t overthink it. Make it
something simple and obvious.
4. How did it feel when you spoke the truth? Was it a lightness? A lift? An expansion? A
sense of openness? Each person feels it differently, but we all feel it.
5. Now, once again watching the energy and the sensations of the body, say something that
you know is not true for you. Again, keep it simple.
6. How did that feel? Was it a drop, a heaviness, or a contraction? Maybe even knots or
tightness in some area of the body?
7. Remember the sensations for yes and no. Try it out a few times, getting comfortable with
the signal so you can trust your body without second guessing.

That’s literally all there is to it. It takes practice, and a bit of retraining, because we have been
taught to listen with the mind rather than the body. But the mind can be fooled. It can be thrown
off-track by compelling story comes along, something that makes sense or something we want to
believe. The mind is good at making stories and building models, arranging and relating things in a
way that has meaning. It serves well when it’s used for the purposes at which it excels. But the
mind is not suited to determining rightness. It misses many of the most important things, focusing
more effectively on the things that it wants to see. The energy never lies, and is never fooled.

This is just the most basic function of our intuition. And you’ve seen it before in your own life. How
many times have you just known that the decision wasn’t right, but just didn’t listen? Or knew that
something was off, but didn’t trust yourself? This technique provides an anchor, a center point
around which we can base our natural hunches. It’s valuable in another way as well, as the thoughts
or fears that slip through the mind can mask themselves as intuition if we’re not tuned in to the
messages of the body.

The applications of this tool are endless. It can be used to evaluate life decisions, feel out which
direction to walk when lost, literally anything. Remember, though, that it doesn’t actually tell you
that someone is lying. It will tell you that what they are saying is not true or right for you. They may
believe what they are saying. It may be a conscious truth, something right and true for them. This
sense is personal and relative, which makes it all the more useful. It isn’t all that important for you
to know that the person speaking to you is lying intentionally in the long run. What really makes a
difference for us is to know that something is right for us in the moment, or that it isn’t.

Consider how useful this technique could be if refined with regular practice. Imagine, for example,
you lost your house keys. Car keys, phone, whatever. You could picture in your mind the places that
you have been, thinking of different place in the house or retracing your steps, keeping clear the
intention to know where the keys are. When you get a “yes,” go and take a look. Once again, it
takes a bit of practice. But far less than you might think. The prerequisite is keeping the mind out of
the picture long enough to just feel.

How about deciding which month is right for the vacation or house renovation? Or checking in with
yourself while job hunting as to which of the possible positions would best serve you? Which
application is worth your time and energy? Considering possible investments? Knowing what is
right or true for us is invaluable. Each one of us, when first developing this natural skill, goes
through a period of learning to really listen to ourselves, and to trust what we receive. It helps to try
out small things first, less important ones. After developing consistency and learning trust, it’s time
to work up to larger and more important decisions. This is important, because we all get a bit more
interference when fear, doubt, or intense desire enters the picture. We don’t want to be pulled off
track by false negatives or positives.

It is both exciting and fun to discover new talents and put them to use in our lives. So enjoy this.
And see what you can do with it. We are limited only by our creativity and our capacity to trust
ourselves, and each of these develops with practice.
 Chapter 5
Anchoring States: Accessing your Inner Resources

Sometimes the project just flows. The interaction is easy and light, we’re light and full of energy,
and inspirations seems to come out of nowhere, effortlessly. And sometimes, it can be a bit of a
struggle. We’ve all had times when we are in a really good state of mind, a resourceful state that
makes things easy. The only problem is that these states seem to show up when they want to and
slip away with the same unpredictability. But, what if you could tap into these states at will? What
if you could say, “Ok, time to get the creativity going,” press a button, and you’re on? Or maybe
confidence? Energy? Clarity? Focus? Humor? Curiosity and ease of learning? How valuable would
that capability be to you?

The beautiful thing is that this is completely possible. Each of us can train ourselves to access our
natural resources, the states of mind that make life effortless and fun. Those that help us to
interact, or to lead with confidence, to create with focus and grace, or to learn without effort. All it
takes is a little time working with ourselves to feel these states out and prime ourselves to enter
them.

We often do this without realizing it. Remember those times in your life when something good
happened, and suddenly it all just seemed possible? More than possible, it was exciting. And you
were ready, full of energy to get started and make it happen. During those times, you had your
natural motivational state triggered. The same thing happens in interaction. Sometimes we feel
really comfortable with ourselves, really confident and ready to face the world. Maybe we’ve just
heard some really amazing news. Just had our first kiss, or just won a competition. Whatever
happened in the outer world, it triggered a state of confidence in our inner world.

The same thing can happen in reverse, and often does. Think of that beautiful, bright sunny day,
where the day seems full of promise. And then you open the mail to find a bill that you just don’t
know how you’re going to pay. All of a sudden, the day seems to have a cloud over it. In these
moments, we’re triggered into a space of anxiety or worry. The outer world has given us a signal
that puts our inner world into a less resourceful state.

The key here is that it’s not the outer world that actually changes. Our perception, feelings, and
state of mind dominate our experience. They are our experience, and once we realize that, we gain
a measure of freedom from the triggers that have been programmed into us over the course of our
lives. It really isn’t about what happens externally so much as how we react to it, psychologically
and emotionally, and how we translate that into physical reality through our actions.

Did you know that the mind cannot distinguish between a dream and reality? Or between
imagination and reality, for that matter. This is why things that we have experienced long ago can
still have a strong emotional charge for us. We re-imagine them, and suddenly we’re having the
experience all over again. We often us this beautiful ability of the mind against ourselves, but it’s
possible to harness it and make it work for us.

On top of that, we tend to associate sights, sounds, and physical feelings with our experiences. We
connect these physical stimuli with our emotional and mental state. So, things we see, feel, and
hear can actually trigger certain emotional states. The technique I’m about to provide makes use of
the mind’s ability to re-experience resourceful states, and our capacity to connect these states with
specific triggers. Triggers that we choose consciously and can fire whenever we feel they’re
appropriate. It’s a beautiful way for us to take charge of our experience and get it working for us.
One last detail before the technique: We’ll be working with anchors here, specific stimuli that we
can trigger at will. Because of the way the mind works, it helps to use three anchors at once, at least
at first. These three are visual, auditory, and kinaesthetic. So, a touch, a sight, and a sound. These
triggers can be just as effective when we imagine them as they are when we see them externally,
and that’s just what we’ll be doing. A visual trigger might be the thought of a color, shape, or
symbol. An auditory trigger might be the memory of a specific word or song. The kinaesthetic
trigger can be a physical touch, perhaps on a specific part of the hand or face. When we associate
the three triggers with the desired resource state, we create a very specific signal to enter that state.
All this sounds a bit complicated, but it’s pretty easy in practice. Just takes a bit of time and
intention.

Technique: Anchoring Resource States

Before beginning the exercise, take some time to think about what resource(s) you’d like to connect
with. Resourceful states include confidence, motivation, clarity, energy, focus, creativity, humor,
courage, persistence, interest, open-mindedness, relaxation, or any other desirable or valuable
state. You may also wish to consider the times when you would like to access these states. This part
isn’t absolutely necessary, but it can be helpful if you are anchoring a state to deal with a specific
situation. Double check to see if this resource is something that you truly want in the situation you
have in mind. Once you are clear about what you want to connect with, it’s time to get to work.

1. Find a place where you can be undisturbed for about twenty minutes.

For this exercise, you’ll need a space where you can briefly enter a thoughtful or meditative
space and a bit of space to move around. The relaxing space will be used to tap into
memories of previous emotional and mental states, while the space to move will help you to
break state and shake it off.

2. Think back to a time in your life when you felt this resource.

It doesn’t matter when this time was, or what it was about. Just identify a time when you
felt that way. If it’s confidence, find a time when you felt “I can!” with clarity, will, and
grace. It will be necessary to visualize this time later, so make sure you can see this time
clearly in your mind.

3. Choose the anchors that you will use to access this state.

Make them specific, and match the tone of the anchor to the resource itself. For example, if
you want to anchor confidence, you may wish to use the word itself. Imagine the word
spoken clearly and in a confident tone. The image can be as unique or general as you like, so
long as it is easy to visualize and personal to you. You’ll want the touch to be very specific,
like bringing together thumb and a particular finger or tapping a specific place on the back of
the hand.

4. Now, moving into the spot you have chosen for relaxing and visualizing, think back to the time you
have chosen. Place yourself there, visualizing it from within.

Visualize the situation as clearly as possible. See yourself and your surroundings, feel the
emotions leading up to the moment, and allow the state to come into your consciousness.
Pay attention to the time it takes to enter the state, as it will enter, peak, and fade. The
timing will help you to set the anchors as the resource state comes to its peak. Once you
 have done this, break state. Get up, move around, think about something else. Change the
feeling.

5. After breaking state, return to your visualizing spot. Visualize the same situation again to re-enter
the resource state. Fire your three anchors just as the resource peaks.

Hold this state for as long as you like. Remember, timing is important here. You want to fire
the anchors just before the resource state peaks, so that the triggers will bring you into the
state as it’s peaking. Make sure the state is completely and cleanly re-experienced, and that
the anchors are unique and easy to repeat when you want.

6. Break state again, getting up, moving around, and changing the feeling.

This helps to make your resource state a matter of will, rather than a product of your
surroundings. It also lets you test the anchors to see if they have been associated
successfully.

7. Test the association by refiring the anchors. Observe within to see if you enter this state
effectively when the anchors are fired.

If the state is not as strong as desired, repeat steps 5 through 7 until it reaches the desired
strength.

8. If you are anchoring a resource in order to deal with a situation that you’ll be encountering soon,
identify an anchor that lets you know it’s time to fire the anchors. This gives you a cue that signals
you to fire the anchors.

Final Note: This is a very powerful technique, and can be used in a number of ways. You can stack a
number of resources on the same anchor, entering a state that combines a number of resources.
Or, you can chain an unhelpful state, like anxiety or sorrow, to one that is more constructive. One
thing to watch out for though, is the tendency to reprogram undesirable emotional states without
listening to the message that they bring us. Each of our emotions has a purpose. If we first listen to
the things that are coming up and clear some of the unconscious triggers, the process of anchoring
resources will be much healthier and more effective. I share a bit more about triggers and how to
address them in Chapter 7.

Another little trick that runs along with this is to use the body language to step into the state that
you want to bring into your experience. Let the body take on the attitude of confidence, or joy, or
clarity. Feel it, and move the body to reflect the feeling. Bring the attention to the eyes, the
posture, tension in the belly or lack thereof, shoulders, jaw. This can be likened to using multiple
kinaesthetic triggers instead of using visual or aural ones. If you have enough body awareness to
bring the entire body into the “attitude” of the desired state, it sets up a feedback loop that actually
changes the biochemical state of the body. In all honesty, I prefer to use body language than
arbitrary triggers. It feels more natural and direct, using the innate body language to direct the
experience into a desired state. As with all things, though, look at everything and take what works
for you.
 Chapter 6
Moving from Victimhood to Empowerment

One of the most powerful questions we can ask is “Why did I create this?”

Do you see the shift there? It’s not “Why is this happening to me?” Or “Why are people treating me
like this?” Even “Why does the world keep screwing me over?” Those are all questions of
victimhood. They assume that the world is beyond our control, a wave washing over us and putting
us at its mercy.

As soon as we ask why we are creating the situation we find ourselves in, we take the first step to
empowerment. First, we have to take responsibility. We have contributed to our situation in some
way or another. We have invited it, or we have refused to make a choice that would put us
elsewhere. Maybe there are consequences associated with the other path that we are not willing to
accept. It doesn’t matter what has put us on the path. What matters is that we had a choice,
somewhere down the line.

This can be really hard for us to accept. Especially if our defense mechanism is a sense of
powerlessness. “I can’t do anything about it.” “I have no choice.” These ideas might make it easier
to blame the situation on someone or something else, but they are not going to help you move
forward. This is the situation. Accept it. This is your life. And it’s worth living. There is beauty and
joy to be found in even the most difficult places. The trick is to look for that instead of focusing on
what we don’t have.

I have found that gratitude, acceptance, surrender, and faith all have the same meaning. We have
to surrender to our lives as they are. That doesn’t mean throwing in the towel and not striving. But
it does mean accepting the situation as it is. We move forward from here and now, and nowhere
else. Surrender on this level is the key to gratitude. We can’t be grateful if we’re holding out for
something else. Life offers us blessings in abundance in every moment. But we can’t see the
richness of each moment when we’re holding out for something different. We become blind to the
blessings we receive. Every moment is an opportunity to open our eyes, accept things as they are
now, and find the beauty in our lives.

No blame, and no judgment. It’s time to start looking forward instead of backward. Time to
surrender to our lives as they are, to accept the gifts of the moment, and be grateful for the
blessings in our lives. This is faith. Faith isn’t “I really believe that I’m going to get what I want.” It’s
“I have everything I need right now.” Look at how life and spirit are supporting you at this very
moment. Know that you will are supported right now, in this moment, the only moment in
existence. Know that you will have all you need in every moment, every time you stop to look at it.
There’s always a way forward from here. This is all the guarantee we have. And it is enough.

Asking why we are creating our situation is powerful in another way as well. Each of us creates crisis
so that we can learn. So that we can find the strength within us and come closer to our
autonomous, self-sufficient connection with our world. We lose what we think we need so that we
can learn that we are beyond this need.

By encountering our crises, we give ourselves an opportunity to navigate resistance with grace and
ease. And the remarkable thing is, once we approach life like this, most of the resistance disappears.
It’s a bit of a trick. Yes, we have problems, but once we stop looking at them as problems, they
cease to be a struggle. In so many ways. Instead, they become challenges, opportunities to step
into a place of greater freedom and power.

We create situations in our lives in order to learn from them. Because we don’t really learn from
ideas. We have to feel something, to really experience it, before we truly understand. The funny
thing is that we are so much wiser, more loving, and more self-sufficient than we consciously realize.
The part of us that knows this is doing all that it can to show the conscious part that this is the case.
But it takes a bit of a knock for us to re-evaluate. So we get knocked. Harder and harder if we’re
really stubborn. Asking, “why have I created this?” is another way of asking “what am I trying to
teach myself with this situation?” What is my part in this situation? How have I allowed it to enter
my experience? This is a huge transformation of perspective. An empowering way to frame our
experience.

Try to explain this to someone, and they’ll say it’s different for you than them, that you don’t really
understand that problem, that it’s easy to offer platitudes when you’re not going through shit
yourself. But they’re missing the point. Here is how you move past the shit altogether. The key to
the land of no drama. There are still things to be taken care of. You don’t just sit back and say “Ok.
Got it figured out now. I’m done.” Life will always require us to take action. Meet new challenges.
Face new canvases upon which to place the art of our lives. This is a joy, if you look at it right. It
does take a bit of work to get there. More than that, we have to remember… and remember… and
remember. Because we tend to forget with each new challenge. That’s ok. Each time we
remember, the lesson sinks in a little bit deeper. The grace and art of our lives becomes more
natural. This is the whole point of being here. Enjoy it.

Technique: Reframing Our Challenges

1. So, you’ve gotten challenged. The trigger comes up, and it’s someone else’s fault. Or the world
has dealt you a crappy hand. You get fired, there’s the bad break-up, you hear some bad news,
whatever form it takes. Wake up and see it. Notice your reaction instead of entering the blame
game. See it, step back, and look within.

2. Ask yourself, “What am I learning from this experience? What is the gift?”

You may want to write the answers down. Let the mind move into the receptive state, and
write whatever comes up. Keep it empowered. Don’t move into blame, resentment, or
bitterness. Look at what this experience can teach you. This is an opportunity, regardless of
how it appears on the surface. An opportunity to expand your sense of connection to the
world, to establish a more solid sense of faith, and to step into authority in your experience
on a deeper level.

3. Next question, “How did I create, invite, or allow this into my life?”

Accountability time. Where did you not take action where you could, or take an action that
opened you up to difficulty? What idea, story or feeling are you holding onto? Is it helping
you? Are you willing to let go and try a different story? A different approach? It’s easy to
blame others, to say they should have done this or shouldn’t have done that. The real point
of these experiences, though, is that there’s something we could have done. Not to close off
or defend from the world, but to place ourselves in a situation where we have taken
accountability for our needs, where we are no longer dependent upon the goodwill or right
behavior of others for our wellbeing.
4. Take a moment to see the situation from a distance. Imagine that the whole situation was
created in order to help you grow, that each of the people were moved by an invisible guidance force,
just to give you the opportunity to have this exact experience.

Take it as a thought experiment. What have you really gotten out of this situation? This
amazing and beautiful lesson, perhaps painful, but deep and transformative? Can you
accept the actions of those that you would have blamed? Can you forgive them for their
part in the whole, see things from their perspective, and thank spirit for the gifts you have
received through this experience? The wisdom and strength you have gained?

5. What can you do to create an experience that you would prefer? Or to stop creating the
experience that you no longer wish to repeat?

Remember that the inner world is what dominates our experience, not the outer. Often, the
best thing we can do is let go of our attachment to a particular individual or outcome. Feel
the feelings and release them, rather than reliving a memory over and over again.
Sometimes the answer is to become aware of our boundaries, and learn how to honor them
with our actions. Sometimes we need to become more responsible for taking actions that
ensure our needs are met. Or listen to the signals that we receive from our inner compass
along the way. Each experience has its own lesson, and in moving past blame, we become
receptive to this gifts that it offers.

There are some experiences for which this can be a great challenge. One that springs to mind is the
loss of a loved one. If your pain and suffering is caused by the loss of a loved one, you aren’t seeking
to take action so that you never lose your loved ones again. You are learning how to let go and
accept life on life’s terms. This can be hard, but the mourning is never truly for those who have
gone. They are in a space beyond the need for our worry or sadness. We honor our loved ones by
embracing our lives and living them to their fullest. Often, our biggest lesson is the willingness to
release our thoughts of the past, to move forward from where we are now, from this moment in life.

Even if this loss comes due to the end of a relationship, it can be just as powerful and hurtful. But
the answer is the same. Do we self-destruct due to our attachment to a memory, or do we choose
to take the experience as the blessing that it was, and remain open for whatever else life chooses to
offer us? For whatever else we can devote our attention and energy to and create with the precious
gift of our lives?

Challenges to security can be equally difficult: How will I pay the bills now? Or make sure my
children are fed? But these same challenges cause many to seek out ways of providing for
themselves that are more in alignment with their values. More empowered and liberating. A new
position or a new business. Each crisis teaches us faith on a deeper level. Allows us to know, from
experience, rather than theory, that we always have a way forward in our lives. Each difficulty
invites a new solution; each challenge a new opportunity.
 Chapter 7
Triggers and Shadows

I remember a time when I was young and got into a fight with my brother. Afterward, my father
asked me why we were fighting. I told him that my brother made me angry. My father told me
something that I’ve remembered ever since, something that I keep close to my heart. People can’t
make you feel any way. We always choose. The difficulty is that we often choose unconsciously.
Something sets us off, and before we know it, the feeling is full-blown and heading into action. One
thing leads to another, and a little upset can escalate into conflict. And it can be hard to see that
there was another way to handle the situation.

Let’s face it—we all get triggered from time to time. We might hear some news that we didn’t want
to hear, we might get into an argument with a loved one, or someone might just look at us the
wrong way. We all have times something happens and we just get angry. Or scared. Sad. Jealous.
We might want to run away, lash out, numb out, distract ourselves. We want to react, to do
something to change the feeling or make the situation just go away. But that doesn’t work. And
really, we all know it. Every form of escapism is an attempt to run away from ourselves. And no
matter how far we run, there we are waiting for ourselves at the end of the road.

When we get triggered, our old patterns are set off by our current experiences. Until we resolve the
issues and feelings that caused the patterns in the first place, we’ll continue to attract experiences
that trigger us. We draw in or create situations that push our buttons. The bottom line, though, is
that they are our buttons. Sensitive points in our psyche. If we deal with the stuck energy and
unresolved emotion that create these sensitive points in our psyche, they stop being buttons.

Dealing with the emotions themselves is the key. And it’s where I went wrong in the early part of
my life. Knowing that I had a choice as to how to respond, I dealt with it intellectually. “I don’t need
to feel this, to respond this way…” So, I iced over the feeling and tried to deal with it the way I
thought I should. I really only had half of the picture. The real key come with understanding how
our buttons get there in the first place.

Everything that we experience is energy. All emotions, all thoughts, even physical things we
encounter can be understood in energetic terms. When we experience something that we have a
hard time accepting in the moment, we lock it down. Energy enters our system, and we push it
down to get on with the moment. Maybe it’s the hard breakup that brought in sadness, the loss of a
job that made us afraid we wouldn’t be able to pay the bills, the harsh words from a friend that
made us angry. We’ve all felt these things, one way or another.

When we suppress our emotions in the moment, the emotional energy becomes an energy circuit, a
pattern that lies dormant in our system. When an experience comes along that has an element of
similarity with the moment this circuit was created, it wakes up, and we feel the emotion all over
again. The thought or emotion that could have been simply felt and dealt with gets stuck in the swirl
of old emotional energy. These energies stick around, getting triggered again and again until we
have the presence to deal with them in the moment. If our pattern, our reflexive reaction to intense
emotion, is suppression, more and more emotional energy gets stored up. This leads to outbursts,
the excess emotions spilling over the rigid controls we have created. Or, if we successfully lock them
down, then we begin to feel depressed, despondent, and lethargic. More and more of our vital
energy is being dedicated to keeping us from feeling what we need to feel.
Our body deals with old and unresolved emotions the same way that it deals with physical toxins.
Toxins are stored in our fatty tissues until we create conditions that allow us to detoxify. Our
emotions get locked up in our muscles. This creates emotional armor, a pattern of tension that we
hold in our bodies. We lock up muscles, create unconscious patterns of tension, holding in our
bodies an echo of the emotions we’ve never gotten around to feeling.

When we cleanse toxins from our body, they are released into the bloodstream, and we experience
symptoms of this release. Fever, chills, headache, sinuses, etc. In the process of releasing the
toxins, we are once again exposed to their influence. The same thing happens when we finally begin
to work through our unresolved emotions. First, we have to allow ourselves to feel them. We have
to allow the emotions to rise and accept them as they do. We must shine the light of our
consciousness into our shadowy depths, accepting and loving what we see. And letting the emotion
be felt, because this is the only way to release the emotional charge stored up in our system.

Once again, we all have our buttons and triggers. And living with them in an unconscious state can
be a bit of an issue. Our buttons set off waves of unresolved emotion, causing us to respond
inappropriately, out of proportion to our current situation. At the same time, each time we’re
triggered, we’re being given an opportunity to clear the energy we weren’t able to resolve the first
time around. The key is to stay conscious in the moment. To actually recognize that we’re being
triggered, and respond to the inner pressures before we try to deal with what set us off in the outer
world.

Often, we aren’t even aware of what actually triggers us. We just get angry, sad, or scared; the
emotion is there, and it seems to be created by what’s in front of us right then. This is the source of
most misunderstanding in relationship, the cause of most conflict in human interaction. It takes a
new perspective, an expansion of awareness, in order to realize that we might be responding to
something that happened years ago rather than what’s happening right now. This is because we
remember all experiences on a visceral level, in the body and the emotions, long after they have left
our conscious mind. Once they have been buried, it takes a bit of work to bring them back into the
light and become conscious of them again.

Once we are no longer aware of things that still trigger our emotions, they become part of our
shadow, that part of ourselves which is hidden from the conscious mind. They operate from behind
the curtain, as a director rather than an actor. Our shadow can cause quite a bit of havoc in our
lives, creating situations that reinforce our limiting views of ourselves and of the world, forcing us to
play out our deepest fears. The shadow is our disowned power, the part that, when hidden from our
conscious minds, causes us to blame others for our experiences, to lose our temper, and generally to
feel as if we are at life’s mercy.

However, the shadow is not evil or wrong. It’s the storehouse of our power, passion, intensity, and
drive. Accepting it, bringing those hidden desires, those secret fears into the light, means integrating
our personality and tapping into our most empowered self. This isn’t the easiest thing in the world,
though. Integrating our shadow requires us to own those aspects of self that we aren’t comfortable
with. Shadow work means moving past blame and past victim-identification. It’s work. But it’s good
work, the kind that creates freedom and peace in our lives, stillness and power within.

The following technique is a beautiful introduction to shadow work. It uses the triggers that we
experience in daily life to come to greater awareness and greater consciousness. It’s done in the
moment, and works on all the stories we have carried and re-enacted for years, the limiting
programs hiding in the depths of our minds. It’s only a beginning, but the first step of the journey is
the hardest. Once it’s taken, we know the path.

Technique: Intro to Shadow Work

1. Get triggered. Recognize that you’re triggered and use it as a cue to stop and look within.

Getting triggered is the easy part. You won’t even have to try. The hard part is to see that
it’s happened and turn the focus inward. Whenever you just get pissed off by something
that’s happened, or feelings of anxiety come in, or even a sense of sadness or grief comes,
you’re triggered. Tough times in traffic. That bill comes in and you don’t know where the
money is going to come from. Jealousy over seeing an ex happy. This isn’t about judging the
feelings. It’s just about seeing that they’re there.

2. Question time. Ask yourself, “When was the last time I felt this feeling?”

When you ask the question, let whatever comes up just come, without censorship or
judgment. Don’t try to figure it out, explain it, anything but observing the memories as they
emerge into the light of consciousness. Act as if your mind is a blank screen and the
thoughts just want to pop up without any effort. After a while, the thoughts will slow to a
trickle. Once they taper off, move on to the next step.

3. Next question “When is the first time that I remember feeling this way?”

Without even trying, you’ll dig a bit deeper when you ask this question. Once again, just
allow the memories to surface. You might have old relationships come to mind, childhood
experiences, interactions with mother or father, brothers and sisters. Moments in school
that you forgot about. At this point, the patterns of your experience start to become clear.
You can see where this energy got stuck, why you feel so strongly about what’s happening
now and where that pattern began. Once again, just let the thoughts flow until they
naturally slow and stop.

4. Now, just feel it. Let yourself sit in the emotion. Allow it to fill you up, and then pass in its own
time.

This is the key. We can’t make the emotions go away by turning them into a story, justifying
them, running away from them, or forcing them down. We have to feel them. And just feel,
rather than replaying all the mental stuff that triggers them again and again, like the
narrative that has accompanied the emotion in our experience. Our narratives and
justifications are part of the mechanism that keeps us stuck under the guise of protecting us.
We don’t need them anymore. If we just allow the emotions to come, the charge naturally
fades. Breathe through it, staying present in the feeling. Cry if you need to cry. No
resistance. Just be with it.

5. Choose how to respond.

Once the charge has been released, we have some space inside. Instead of being compelled
to react, we can evaluate how to deal with what’s happened and decide how to respond.
None of our emotions is bad. Each of them has something to tell us. So, sometimes when
we’re triggered, we’re getting the message that our boundaries have been crossed, or that
our needs are not met. We might be getting a signal from the inner compass that some
action is necessary. When we have the clarity of mind to hear this message for what it is, we
can take action that actually serves our needs. Sometimes, we get triggered just because
 past issues are coming up. Either way, we now have the consciousness to communicate our
needs or our feelings clearly and without blame. In a constructive way, rather than a way
that does nothing more than create conflict.

When you first start this practice, it might help to write down the things that enter your mind when
you ask the questions. But after a bit of consistent practice, you’ll find that it comes automatically.
First the practice becomes a habit, and next it turns into a reflex. Each time you stop and look within
upon getting triggered, you gain a measure of freedom from the emotional chains and automatic
responses that run our lives in the unconscious state. Each time you respond honestly,
authentically, and constructively, it builds momentum. After a little while, self-knowledge deepens,
and each relationship moves into a state less clouded by old emotions, lack of awareness, and
unclear communication. The best part is that every trigger is then transformed into a priceless
opportunity to wake up.
 Part II
Emotional Genius

I grew up in a world that emphasized success, accomplishment, and productivity. In a world that
favored intellect and the place of mind. All these things have their place, but when I think about
what makes life a joy to live, it all comes down to the connections I make with those around me. My
relating, connecting, communicating, and sharing. Relations form the fabric of my world. And it is
the emotional realm that makes these relations meaningful and fulfilling.

My deepest healing has come through my connections with others. The people in my life are, in
part, a mirror. They show me things about myself that I might not see so easily on my own. Some of
these things are difficult to face, and some are a joy to behold, but all help me to grow, to deepen
my experience of life and expand into my world. All I know is my experience, but I’d venture to say
that it’s much the same for all of us. We find ourselves through the mirror of our relations, and
become whole through the sincere and authentic connections that we make with all of life, from
other humans to each face that nature presents to us.

My journey began with an exploration of mind, of the power of thought and imagination, the
connection between mind and body. Each step along the way has shown me great beauty,
possibility that stretched to the horizon and beyond. But in a way, it feels that my real journey
began when I let go of my need to be seen as the image I had cultivated, dropped the mask, and
started to learn the language of my heart. Or maybe I should say when I began to do this, because it
feels like this is a lifelong journey. Every moment offers an opportunity to go deeper into a real
connection with myself, with the moment, and with those around me.

Much of my early life was dedicated to study, to an exploration of new thought and old that could
point the way to what is really possible for me and for each of us as human beings. This was, in
many ways, a solitary journey. It left me with a head full of ideas and theories, grand images of what
the world really is, past the matrix of illusions. But there was a disconnect there that took me many
years to see. I held myself apart in essential ways from others around me, feeling that I needed to
keep myself separate to preserve some intangible truth I was chasing. Past the mundane part of the
world, and beyond the hypocritical presentation that seemed so real to me. It left me more in the
world of ideas than that of people. And the world became very much a game of moving symbols
around, a math equation performed to find connections and interpretations of the world that made
it more than I feared it might me.

Learning to feel came as a bit of a breakthrough for me. And maybe as one of the greatest
challenges I’ve encountered. But it also brought everything I’d been doing for years into focus.
Instead of using my mind and will to remould my world into what I thought it should be, I started to
see what was actually around me in the moment. I began to really see the people and the life that
surrounded me day in and day out. I began to see that my own fears and insecurities had caused me
to close off from people and to hide from the world. I had to start from scratch, letting go of what I
thought I knew and learning to listen to the subtler signals in my body and my heart.

The really beautiful thing that’s come through for me in the process of this journey is that the heart
knows. On a level deeper than words and clearer than ideas. I don’t really think there are any
systems or guidelines that can fully encompass the language of the heart. And I don’t believe that
there is anyone that can teach it to us. We can be shown how to listen, how to share, we can be told
how valuable it is to be authentic and vulnerable. We can be helped by having safe spaces created
and held for our sharing and opening to take place. But the journey into heart is personal and
sacred, unique and individual.

It seems to me that each person that comes into my life has something to teach me. But I can only
learn what their presence has to offer if I can put my ideas and my image down and really see. So
the journey for me has been to look at what comes up. What feelings enter my experience, and
what messages they have for me. And not in a way that builds a story around them, or a
commandment that stands for all time. More in a gentle, subtle way that offers a bit of guidance in
the moment. I am never a victim, though sometimes I have played the role. Each influence I allow,
create, or attract into my life comes with an element of choice. And being willing to see my part in
this choice offers me a freedom and an opportunity for empowerment that I can’t have if I’m not
taking accountability for my choices.

It feels like this part of life is too subtle to put into a religion, or a science, or a philosophy. Each one
can point the way, but the real stuff has to be experienced, felt, and lived. Learning to accept
myself, and finding myself more accepting of others in the process. Learning how I give my power
away, and how to become aware of my choices so that I can live in an authentic and empowered
way. Running into all the little rough bits, the disappointments, losses, and challenges that hold the
keys to a deeper and more abiding joy for life. For me, this is the real work, the theatre of deepest
healing. Of coming into a wholeness that is always there, but forgotten, lurking in the unrealized
depths of our experience.

I’ve heard it said that you have to love yourself first, and maybe there’s some point to that. But it
seems to rest on a bit of a cloud to me. There really is no me separate from all the other things,
people, and situations out there. Not that I can tell, anyway. Everything I experience is me. Every
person, every situation. There is nothing I encounter in my field that is other than me. And, at the
same time, it feels like there is a looking inward into the feeling sense that helps to balance all of the
confusing and conflicting pulls on my attention and energy. In order to see how to honor myself, I
have to feel it out. And really honouring myself means honouring all that exists within my
experience. It’s all one, and this feeling sense helps to turn that idea into a way of life.

I’ll close this introduction by sharing something that resonated with me: Each moment, life puts
something, many things, in front of us and says “This is important. Pay attention to this.” My task is
to put my hand on my heart and say “No, this is important.”

With joy and blessings, I offer some things that have helped me on the journey into heart.
 Chapter 8
What is this Ego Thing, Anyway?

Most people, by now, have at least a passing familiarity with the concept of the ego. We’ve heard
the word, whether in the context of psychology, or Buddhism, or new age thought. In psychology,
it’s thought of as the perception of real-world necessities. The way we use it relates more to
excessive pride and overconfidence. Both New Age and Buddhist thought often encourage the
elimination of the ego. But what is it? And why is it such a problem? More to the point, is it a
problem? The whole subject can be a bit confusing, as it’s in the realm of dogma and intellectual
reasoning more than personal experience.

Everything is energy. And because of this, all the separate definitions of the world, all of the
compartmentalized knowledge, can be brought together smoothly in terms of the common language
of energy. So let’s approach the ego from this angle.

Have you ever been in an argument? You think you’re right, and so does the other person. You say
things to prove your point, and they say things to challenge your view, or attack your character, or
deflect the discussion into other territory. Try to imagine it like this. You have built a structure with
your energy. This structure consists of your perspective, the things you are focusing on and the
meaning that you have attached to them. The other person directs energy at this structure, trying to
weaken it. If a front-end assault is ineffective, they may resort to a strike at the foundations, an
attack on your character. “Well, you do this.” Or “That didn’t seem to matter to you when…” Or
they may attempt to focus their argument in other areas than the one you’re focusing on. “That
doesn’t even matter anyway. This is what’s important.”

Let’s drop, for a moment, the question of who is right and who is wrong. Let’s just see it as energy,
in the form of flow or resistance. Shaped energy, in the form of your perspective, meets shaped
energy in the form of the alternative perspective. These two energetic structures push against one
another, creating friction, resistance, and tension. This is the underlying cause of all arguments, the
energetic reality beneath all conflict. This is just a snapshot of the moment, but it shows the ego in
action. Ego is shaped energy, in the form of thoughts, feelings, associations, and meanings.

When two egos meet, they interact in the form of a dynamic, a style of push and pull that reflects
where they are compatible and where they conflict. Is there anyone in your life that you just end up
having the same kinds of argument with, over and over? Maybe a partner, parent, or sibling? These
arguments, as well as the times when you can interact smoothly, create the dynamic of the whole
relationship. This is what we can talk about, and this is what we can’t. And it sometimes feels like
there isn’t any way out of this dynamic. It has a magnetic pull that keeps drawing us in, whether we
want to be arguing about this or not.

Now, there are a couple of things that bear discussion here. For one, what does the ego feel like?
What is it in my experience? It feels like being right. It feels like justification and conviction. It is
experienced in the form of self-image, and in our beliefs about the world, how it is, how it has to be,
and what we have to do about it. Our ego is the shaped energy of our perspective, in all its various
manifestations. And it defines our relations to others, to spirit, and to the world. The main thing to
understand about ego is that it has a function. In fact, it is a function. Our ego is the role we play in
the world. We see things a certain way, and that means that certain things are right and necessary
for us to do, while others are undesirable, or even unthinkable. Certain subjects are open for
discussion, while others are already decided, grounds only for fruitless debate or argument.
It's a mistake to think that the ego is only a problem. Our ego helps us to see what is important to
us, where we wish to put our effort and what we seek to achieve or accomplish. What’s worth
fighting for, and what is unimportant. It gives us a filter, a value system that allows us to evaluate
the different choices that come our way. In light of what we wish to support and develop in our
lives. The problem comes in when we identify with a specific shape of the ego. Some perspectives
and ideas are healthy for us. They are healthy when they support the fulfilment of our needs,
support a healthy system of relations and a beneficial influence upon those aspects of our
experience that we are connect to. People, places, and things. However, this is always a balancing
act, and our conditions are constantly changing. If we hold on to a shape when the conditions
change, then we begin to act in ways that don’t support our health, vitality, happiness, success, and
meaningful connection.

This is where the subject of attachment enters into Buddhism. When we are attached to things, to a
specific perspective, person, shape, or emotional relation to our world, we harden the shape of our
energy. We make it resistant to change. In these times, we are prone to argument and conflict, to
resistance and struggle with the world. But we can’t really solve the problem by detaching
emotionally from the people and experiences in our lives. That just brings in a whole new host of
problems. Our emotions are there for a reason, valuable pointers along the way. Our emotions are
one of the main channels of communication with the deep mind, the part of ourselves that is tuned
in to wisdom, insight, and higher guidance.

So what do we do? If ego causes conflict, and emotions help us to receive insight and address our
needs, how do we move past the limitations of our perspective without sacrificing our feeling for the
things and people that mean something to us? Keep that question in mind, and I’ll come back to it in
a moment.

So, the second consideration about the argument: What if you’re right? Are you any less ‘right’ if
you lose the argument? Are you any more ‘right’ if you win? Why is it necessary to have someone
agree with you? Do you really need them to see the world as you see it? Or to see you in a
particular way? If you are arguing because your needs are not being met, and you think showing
someone else why you think they should be fulfilling those needs will make it better, then energy is
being spent wastefully. Others don’t have to agree with you for you to have needs or feelings.
Keeping the conversation to that will take some of the load off. Taking responsibility for filling your
own needs and for maintaining your own emotional equilibrium will take even more weight off.

But there’s even more to it. If your perspective works for you in the moment, then it doesn’t matter
what someone else thinks. They can have all the opinions they want. They have the right to look at
the world through whatever lens suits them, even if it will create problems for you down the line.
We each have that right. No one else is responsible for ensuring that we perceive the world the
right way. And no one is responsible for ensuring that we see it any particular way. We all learn our
lessons in our own way and in our own time. This perspective might make complete sense, or might
be difficult to take on in itself. But roll the idea around for a little while. See how it feels. If you are
taking on the responsibility for another’s perspective or for their actions, even more, for their
emotional balance, are you really helping them? In the long run? Do you want others to feel
accountable for you in this way?

So, we can now look at the ego in a whole new way. Not as a nuisance that we must be ridded of,
even though we don’t quite know what it is or how to do that. As a hardened structure that reveals
itself when it conflicts with the situation presented by the world, or with the thoughts and opinions
of others. We feel it. Just think about the feelings that happen in your body when you are insulted,
when you are in an argument, or when others see you in a way you don’t want to be seen. When
you are rejected by someone you have interest in, or when your approach to life isn’t accepted by
those that you care about. The energetic pressure can be felt, especially in times of active conflict.
It doesn’t always explode into physical aggression, but the energy underneath the interaction is just
as real and just as difficult to handle.

So let’s return to the earlier question. What do we do about it? Here is a tool to help figure that
out:

Technique: Softening Your Energy

1. Uh oh! Here comes an argument. Or an insult. Or a judgment. Or a comment that you just have
to respond to. See it as energy. See your need to respond as an urge to enter the dynamic.

Don’t take it personally. Easy to say, but this too takes a bit of practice. The most important
thing is to watch it beginning within yourself. It will be harder to pull out of the dynamic
once it builds momentum. Be mindful of your inner response, and take it as a cue to feel
into your energy.

2. Feel your attachment to this perspective. To showing others you are right, or good, or know more,
or are justified in seeing things the way you do, or being how you are.

Feel how this attachment pushes you to respond in a particular way. To argue your way or
present your perspective. Feel the energy of your need to be seen in a particular way.

3. Relax. Visualize this energy letting go, slipping away, becoming invisible, allowing the energy of
the other person to slide right through you. Let go.

If your perspective works for you, that’s great. If it doesn’t, you’ll sort that out eventually.
And you’re just as worthwhile, just as valuable, whether the other person sees it or not. Let
the perspective of the other person stand exactly as it is, without having to answer it in any
way at all. Accept their perspective, their energy, their view, exactly as it is. Simply allow it
to be, and see that this releases you from the need for conflict or programmed response.
But the key is to really feel it. Acting unaffected on the outside but maintaining the
energetic structure just results in passive aggression.

4. Choose. Decide whether you need to respond, or if it would be a better use of your time and
energy to focus your attention elsewhere.

Even having a choice in this circumstance shows the value of this technique. We often enter
into these dynamics without any conscious decision on our part. Moved like a robot into the
pattern of attack and defence, whether we want to be or not. Sometimes it’s important to
show another perspective, but doing so without making it personal will get you much
further. In most times, it is a personal victory, a reflection of personal freedom and power,
to not have to engage at all.

5. Reflect. If you’ve been shown a point that has value, consider how it can refine your perspective
and make it more effective for you.

This can be one of the most difficult parts. We become invested in our perspectives. And
there is often good reason for it. But if we’ve been shown something that has value in
another’s perspective, then it offers us a way to expand our understanding. Not to
surrender and follow the energetic structure of the other, but to modify our own in
 accordance with a deeper wisdom and expanded understanding. Sometimes, it helps to
write these reflections out. To keep them clear so that they don’t swirl in unproductive
patterns. But this is a personal activity, not a matter of emotional debate. When you have a
measure of freedom from your programmed perspective, then it’s possible to engage in a
constructive discussion. When you are open and not invested.

This subject is one that triggers everyone. If not during the discussion itself, then at least at some
points in the process. If you get triggered, awesome. You know what to do with it. It’s there to tell
you something, or it’s part of old programs that need to be cleared. Either way, it’s part of
something that’s popping up, and it holds a valuable opportunity. Once we are able to look at our
perspective as a choice, we gain a whole new measure of freedom. And this is worth encountering a
trigger or two (or a hundred) along the way.

The end result of approaching life through this lens is the understanding that our story, our ego, our
perspective, is a choice. None is really inherently right or wrong, and this is the core of the
situation. Each choice, each way we can structure the energy of our perspective, deals very well
with certain situations and falls short in others. Once we see that we have a choice, we have the
freedom to make a different choice. We can then decide to take on a perspective that is better
suited to our situation, one that helps us to interact better with others or meet our needs more
effectively. This level of self-knowledge moves us past the unconscious reactive patterns that can all
too easily dominate the course of our lives. And it works for many more aspects of life than just our
interactions with others.

Think about those times when you’ve thought, “I want to, but I can’t.” Or “I can’t do that.” Or even
“The world is this way, and it sucks.” These ideas are a part of our story, and they determine how
we deal with the world. They are an aspect of our ego, a reflection of our self-image that governs
how we relate to the world. When this feeling comes in, try to use the technique above. You may
find that you can do what you never thought you could. You may find the world to be a different
place than you thought it was. You may gain a measure of freedom from this story, too. One that
allows you to step into an entirely new relation to the world.

It may be compelling to hold on to a specific story. And it won’t even feel like holding on to a story.
It will feel just like entering into an argument. “But I’m right.” “But this is how it is.” The value of a
story in our lives is the fruit that it bears in our experience. See if you can let go of this old
perspective and try a new one on for size. Watch how this new story is reflected in your experience.
And if it works for you, then work it.
 Chapter 9
Is This Mine?

Have you ever wondered where your thoughts and feelings come from? Silly question, right? They
come from inside. Where else would they come from? Well, what if I told you we picked up energy
from everywhere around us? Energy in the form of thoughts, emotions, impressions, and other
vibrations. Would you find that a bit hard to believe?

Just think about this: Have you ever felt like someone was watching you, then looked up and met
their eyes? Or maybe you just knew someone walked in the room in a bad mood before you actually
saw them? We are all psychic, whether we realize it or not. We are open receivers, and the
thoughts and feelings that flit through aren’t always our own.

But how do we know? How can we tell that this thought is mine, and that thought came from
someone else? This is even more important with emotions. If we get into one of those black moods,
we can spend valuable time and energy trying to figure out why we feel that way, or even getting
caught in the momentum and letting it turn our day sour. Is there a way to tell which thoughts and
feeling are our own? And what do we do when it belongs to someone else?

That’s where this technique comes in. It’s all about talking to your body. From chapter two, you
already know how to tune into your body’s “yes” and “no.” The next step is simple: frame a
question. And the question doesn’t need to be complex. Just ask “is this mine?”

And so, without further ado, the tool:

Technique: Is this Mine?

1. Pay attention to how you’re feeling.

This part may seem a bit obvious, but it bears mentioning. Mindfulness is the starting point
of all of these tools. If you don’t recognize when you’re triggered, the feelings are given
time to build momentum, and next thing you know, you’re in reaction mode. So just watch,
and when a feeling strikes, look within.

2. Ask yourself, “Is this mine?”

Feel within for the response. Watch the subtle energy and sensation of your body. If you
get a yes, then it’s time to ask a second question: “What is this emotion telling me?” Just
pose the question and let thoughts pop into your mind. Don’t try to figure it out; just go into
receiving mode. You may be surprised how clear your intuition is once you make a bit of
space for it.

3. If you get a no, then it’s time to ask a different question: “Is this someone else’s?”

Once again, feel out the response. If you’re getting a “yes,” the solution is simple. Exert
your will with clear intentions: “Return to sender, return to source.” You exercise
sovereignty over your energy field by clearly expressing the intention to return the energy to
 where it belongs. This isn’t anything more than clearing your field and returning the energy
to the person for whom it is a valuable message. And all it takes is a clear act of will.

4. If you’re still getting a no, a third question, “Is this from the Earth?”

This one is a bit more complex. The Earth is alive and, in its own way, conscious. It
communicates with each of us on a subtle vibrational level. And we can communicate with
it in return. The best thing to do if the feeling comes from the Earth is to open up and see
what it has to say. We are often given messages because we have the capacity to receive
them. Ask what the feeling is telling you, and let the thoughts pop into your consciousness
without censorship. You may want to write these messages down. They may take a bit
more time or effort to respond to properly, or they may be as simple as a message to spend
time in a place, or to slow down and soak in the energy where you are. This may be a bit far
afield from what some of you have come to expect, but give it a try and see how what it
does for you.

That’s all there is to it. By knowing that our thoughts sometimes come from other sources, we get a
measure of freedom from them. And by knowing how to clear these energies from our field when
they are messages for others, we avoid unnecessary stress, fear, sadness, irritation, and all sorts of
other annoyances that aren’t actually ours to deal with. And this is so simple, it’s a wonder that
these tools aren’t taught to every child growing up. Next time you feel a mood coming on, or have a
thought flit through your mind, try it out. You’ll be amazed at how clearly and definitely your energy
responds when you address it consciously.
 Chapter 10
Opening the Heart

Have you ever had those moments in life where everything just seemed to work out? When
opportunities popped into your life out of nowhere, new connections were made without even
trying, and luck flowed effortlessly in your direction? If you’ve ever felt this way, you know what
happens when the heart is open. And most of us have felt the opposite, those times where nothing
seemed to work out despite our best efforts. When everything is an uphill battle, and luck and
opportunities just slip away every time we turn around.

What’s the difference? Why do things work out so well, and so effortlessly, in some moments, while
everything seems to be conspiring against us in others?

When we think of the heart, we usually connect it with feeling. Emotion. Love. Romance and
intimacy. All of these are huge, but this is only part of the picture. The heart is our energetic point
of connection with all of creation. With all beings, all aspects of existence. Sometimes, we open up.
Maybe we’ve just had that huge success in our lives, we’ve started to feel really good about
ourselves, new job, the bonus or raise, the new girlfriend or the one that finally said “Yes!” When
our heart opens, it seems that everything just begins to work out. Everything seems possible. Life is
bright and full of possibilities.

The most interesting thing about these times is that, if we are really open, things begin to work out
in our favour. The world actually responds to our feelings, and more good things begin to happen.
But what happens when things fall apart? Well, when it rains, it pours. One thing follows another.
When these good things happen, they trigger us to open our energy. To open our sense of emotion,
feeling and connection. We allow joy, engagement, and opportunity into our lives. And when things
go wrong (or we become afraid that they will) then suddenly everything becomes more difficult.
These things, or even the thought of them, trigger us to close our energy, and thus to close off any
opportunities, connections, or joy that the world may have in store for us. We stop being receptive,
and fortune no longer has any way to enter our lives.

It is invaluable to see that it isn’t the events in the outside world that control this experience for us.
They can trigger us, but it is our response, on a deep and subtle level, that actually determines what
will enter our lives. We don’t actually start that good patch of luck because of the good thing in our
lives that kicks it off. And the one crappy thing that happens doesn’t actually trigger a chain of bad
luck dominoes. We enter a state that makes these things more likely to happen in our lives.

Our natural state is open, with our energy and feeling flowing freely. But then we get hurt. Pain
causes us to contract, to hold the feeling away so that we aren’t so raw and exposed to it. And we
can make a lifestyle, a reflex, out of being closed. We do this in hopes of keeping some of the pain
at bay, but it never really does the job. Shutting down like that actually puts us in a very lonely
place. Unable to really feel the joy that life offers, in a place where connection with others is
difficult, if not impossible. Waiting inside our castle for that lucky break or that new love to
transform our lives. And then we wonder why it never happens. We can see these good things
happening for other people, but that joy never seems to come our way. Or seems to pass us right
by.

Closing off isn’t a real solution. It doesn’t keep us safe from anything, really. Doesn’t do the job it
was intended to do. But it can be hard to let go of the habit once we’ve developed it. It can become
engrained pretty deep, enough to keep us tense when the eventual good thing does get through our
guard. Waiting for the other shoe to drop and interrupt a happiness that we just know will be
temporary. So how do we stop this? How do we learn to drop the guard and let feeling, connection,
and joy into our lives again? Well, it takes practice. We don’t unlearn the habits of a lifetime
overnight. But it doesn’t take as long as you might think. I’ll give a couple of techniques here. The
first is to get the process started, and can be helpful along the way. It helps to get the energy and
intention to the task to opening back up. The second is best for live action, in the moment of
experience.

Technique 1: Tearing Down the Wall

1. Find a spot where you can relax and focus without being disturbed, sitting as is comfortable for
you.

2. Focus on the breathing, relaxing with each breath. Slowing down, and entering a light meditative
state.

3. Bring your attention to your heart center, in the middle of your chest. Feel this space, taking note
of the sensations you have here.

Does it feel open? Closed? Vibrant? Guarded? Tune it to the feeling without forcing
anything, just allowing it to be exactly as it is.

4. Are you willing to open up? Are you willing to be willing? To let go of the guard and know that
you can be safe and be open at the same time? If so, breathe this intention in, visualizing it entering
the heart. Exhale, gently releasing any tension and allowing more space.

5. See the blocked energy and guardedness as a wall built around your heart. Slowly, taking as long
as you need, take down one block at a time. Invite spirit to give you whatever aid you need in the
process.

Take these blocks down lovingly, gently, thanking each for the protection that it has given
you, and telling each that it is no longer necessary. That you are now safe without their
protection. That you are ready to feel and to meet the world. Feel as a sense of lightness
enters your heart space. The feeling is the real key here, though visualization can help. Each
time you encounter a space of contraction, you may find a thought that accompanies it. A
person or situation in your life, your relation to safety, security, connection, purpose,
freedom, anything. Each time we take down a block, we’re visualizing expanding into a new
relationship with this aspect of our lives. Relaxing and opening.

6. Once you have removed all the blocks, visualize the space. Breathe it full of light and life, letting
each breathe bring more ease and flow. Relax, feeling and seeing this space expanding with each
breath.

Feel the heart space becoming large enough to encompass the entire body, large enough to
fill the entire room, to fit the entire house. The neighborhood. The city. Visualize it
becoming large enough to surround the entire planet, feeling the life within this space. You
 are connected to all life on the planet. Soak this feeling in, staying in this space for as long as
you like.

7. When you’re ready, allow the sphere to relax smaller and smaller. Allow it to return to the space
within your chest, bringing with it the memory of this connection, all of the light and lie that it has
encountered on this journey.

Breathe a bit deeper, bringing your awareness once again into the room, into your body. Slowly let
your awareness come back into alignment with your body. Bring in motion slowly, and as you begin
to move, open your eyes to the beauty of all that surrounds you. Try to keep a sense of this
openness close to mind and heart as you step forward into activity.

Technique 2: Being Open to Beauty

When the heart is open, we are aware of our blessings, grateful for all that we have, and receptive to
the beauty of what is around us. We are present to the amazing things that each moment offers us.
In exploring this feeling, we can learn to keep the heart open in our daily activities, and learn to open
again even after fear or pain has caused us to close up.

One key to this practice is physical sensation, the feelings in our body and in our heart. When we
make a practice of listening to the subtle energy of our beings, we begin to notice when this
awareness has drifted. We tend to close up when we get stuck in memories or anticipations of the
future, stories of how things are, should be, or aren’t, and when we get hurt or afraid. These are the
times when it is most vital to listen to the sensations of our body, to see when we are moving into
tension, and relax.

The second key is emotional, rather than physical. When the heart is open, we notice the beauty in
or experience. We focus on the things that bring joy, those thoughts, feelings, and connections that
fill us with life. Similarly, when the heart center is closed, we’ll tend to get a bit stuck on the
negative aspects of our experience. What we don’t have, those things that bring in a sense of loss,
anxiety, frustration, and despair. This can be worked both ways, if we’re aware of it. If we
consciously choose to open up to the beauty we see all around us, what we feel, hear, and
experience on all levels, then we tell the heart in its own language to open up.

This is not a technique, so much as a practice. In the moment, when faced with all of the unexpected
and turbulent experiences of life, relax. Seek out the beauty of each moment, and put yourself in the
way of this beauty. Let go of what is not there, what has been lost or what might not be there later.
Just notice where you are right now. See how amazing and beautiful it is. How valuable, special,
unique, and perfect (in its imperfection) each person, place, situation, experience is. Remember, in
those times when you realize that you have closed, that you can return to this space, this way of
seeing and feeling.

Once again, this takes time and practice. It’s hard to feel that opening up will help us, especially in
moments of intense pain, grief, anger, or fear. It’s important for us to be gentle with ourselves,
allowing this learning to take all the time it needs. Allowing each experience to remind us that we
can open our energy, accept the situation of the moment, and discover beauty and joy in places
where we might have thought it simply couldn’t exist. The more we move into a state of
acceptance, the easier it becomes. As we move into a space of more forgiveness and more
presence, joy and abundance begin to leak past the cracks in our armour and fill our lives.

As we deepen this practice over time, we begin to notice a shift in the way we respond to life, and in
the way life responds to us. It is as if more and more weight is lifted from our hearts, allowing
beauty, abundance, and joy to be felt more fully. And, magically, all of the relations in our
experience begin to transform. Life experiences begin to reflect the quality of feeling end energy we
hold in our hearts. This is one of the most powerfully transformative things we can do in life. Rather
than expending all of our effort in pushing towards a goal, we can learn the art of receptivity. Of
opening to allow the world to offer us all the beauty, abundance, joy, and love that it wishes to give
us in each moment.
 Chapter 11
The Journey of Acceptance

Are you good enough? Smart enough? Pretty enough? Strong enough? Do you deserve to be
loved? To be happy? To be safe?

How would you answer a child if they asked you these questions about themselves? Would you tell
them no? What if they did poorly on their last report card? Or couldn’t do a push-up? Or had
braces? Or just asked too many questions and annoyed you? Would you tell them no then?

We all walk around with a few judgments, at least until we do the work to let them go. We can poke
around in our history and find out where we picked those judgments up, but in the end, it doesn’t
matter. In the end, whether we’re judging ourselves or others, we aren’t doing anyone any good.

In judging ourselves, in holding ourselves to standards that we haven’t yet reached or downing
ourselves for how we are now, we stand in a place of resistance to ourselves. In judging others and
not accepting them for who they are, we close ourselves off to whatever beauty they might offer our
lives. And do them a great disservice in the process.

Moving into a place of acceptance doesn’t mean becoming passive. We can still recognize that the
influence of others is not healthy for us, and choose not to interact closely with them, or not to
interact with them at all. We can still recognize the things we’d like to improve in ourselves, the
things we’d like to accomplish, and exert ourselves towards these ends. The difference is that we do
so without making ourselves or others wrong. We take action not out of fear, but through love for
ourselves and others.

Something very special happens when we move into a place of acceptance. We stop fighting
ourselves. This means that more energy is dedicated towards creating the outcome we would like to
experience, and less is devoted towards denial of the circumstances as they are. In other terms,
what we resist, persists. When we are fighting how the world is, how someone else is, or how we
are ourselves, we actually strengthen the qualities that we are fighting. We enter into the dynamic
of conflict, and this only feeds into more conflict.

As soon as we accept ourselves and others for who we and they are, we take action and issue words
that come from love. We can drop unhealthy habits, not because we beat ourselves into discipline,
but because our love for ourselves has grown to the point that we actually feel motivated to treat
ourselves better. We can offer words of encouragement to others, rather than judging them for
what we see as their flaws. And suddenly, change happens. Things that before seemed so
entrenched as to be immovable now simply melt away. Acceptance is the magic that transforms the
world.

Once again, this doesn’t happen because we’ve rolled over and resigned ourselves to poor
conditions. Sometimes, accepting others for who they are means accepting that it’s not the best
thing for us, or them, to have them in our lives right now. And accepting ourselves for who we are
might mean that it’s time to make some different decisions. To be gentle with ourselves, forgive
ourselves for our mistakes, and explore what can be done in the moment to practice self-love in a
tangible way. It’s a process. And every step of the journey is a beautiful victory in itself.

Accepting ourselves means making it ok for us to have the feelings that we have. And accepting
others means making it ok for them to be however they are. It means forgiveness. And it means
learning love on a whole new level, from an unconditional space. Big words, and impossible if we
don’t yet know how to accept ourselves as we are. So, how do we do that?

This one isn’t as simple as a once-off technique. It’s a practice. And there are a number of ways to
approach it. Mirror work, affirmations, rituals of forgiveness, cutting cords and releasing the bonds
of the past, all of these can be helpful. What I’m going to share is simple and powerful. It also takes
a bit of time and dedicated effort. We have spent years judging ourselves, and it might take a little
while to let go of this habit and develop a healthier relationship with ourselves. But it’s well worth
whatever time we dedicate.

Technique: Seeing Yourself with Love

1. Find a place where you can sit quietly, undisturbed for about a half hour.

Some people enjoy sitting in lotus position or cross-legged, but this works just as well when
you’re in a chair or on the edge of your bed. Use whatever position is most comfortable for
you. You may like to have soft music playing in the background, and if it helps you to focus,
then go for it. The ideal condition is silence, if you can maintain focus that way. But this is a
process, so explore whatever makes it easiest for you.

2. Focus on your breathing, entering a light meditation state.

Breathe in, breath out. Relax with each breath. You can count down if you like, but if you’ve
been practicing the alpha meditation for some time, you’ll find that a few breaths are
enough to drop into a state of relaxation, and the focus on the breath will give your mind
something to latch onto.

3. Once you have centered yourself in the breath, start to visualize a figure seated in front of you.

See this figure as a being of light, seated opposite from you and in the same position.
Imagine that this figure represents innocence, light, integrity and power. Love and
gentleness, clarity and presence. Feel complete acceptance radiating from this being
towards yourself, washing over you and filling every fiber of your being. Bathe in this
feeling, enjoying the experience, and return this energy to the figure.

4. Watch as the figure takes on features, becoming more and more defined with each breath. After
a few moments, you realize that you are looking at yourself. In all your glory and in your highest
potential.

Keep focused on the feeling of complete acceptance. The figure before you is exactly right
as they are. See yourself in as much detail as you can manage, letting this feeling flood the
space between you. See even your imperfections as an expression of beauty, each a step
along the path to the highest, most perfect expression of yourself.

5. As you watch, this figure begins to merge with you, turning and moving to occupy the same space
as your body. The feeling of acceptance is now directed inward to this beautiful expression of your
highest self in residence within you.

Keep tuned in to the feeling. Let it fill each cell. Observe every part of your body, mind,
heart, and spirit within your mind’s eye, seeing beyond the surface to the perfection within,
feeling absolute acceptance for yourself. In the moment. Right now.

Sit with this for as long as you like. Let go of any resistance to yourself as you are. Any
resistance to your world, the reflection of your being, as it is. You can move forward from
 here, from this space to create any experience you want in your life. One decision at a time,
accepting every step along the way as right and necessary to move you towards the
expression of the best you that you can be.

Some people find it difficult to visualize, so I’ll add another technique. This is the mirror work I
mentioned before.

Technique: Mirror Work

1. Find a place where you can sit or stand in front of a mirror without disturbance.

2. Look at yourself. Look past any imperfections that you may want to focus on, taking yourself in as
a whole being.

3. Look into your eyes. Deeply, taking in the soul of the person in the mirror.

4. Tell the person in front of you that you accept them. Tell them that you forgive them. That you
love them.

Repeat these statements, watching what comes up inside of you. You may go through a
number of feelings as you do. You may want to look away. Or say, “No I don’t.” You may
feel uncomfortable or awkward. Observe these feelings, and let them be. Accept them as
well. And keep going.

5. Keep looking. Keep talking. Keep telling yourself that you accept you. That you forgive you. That
you love you.

The key is to keep going until any emotional charge can come to the surface to be released.
This may sound simple and silly, but it’s beautifully powerful and transformative. Give the
exercise time to do the work. Keep going, relaxing into it, letting the statements become a
chant, a mantra. And let yourself feel. You may have tears come, or fear, anger, disgust.
Don’t judge these feelings or fight them. Just allow them to be and continue until you feel a
sense of peace.

6. Try this exercise out a few times, perhaps through the space of a week.

Watch how the emotions change each time. Watch what comes up. You may even want to
write down anything particularly powerful in a journal. Just allow the work to happen,
rather than trying to force anything.

We can only accept others or our world to the extent that we can accept ourselves. So many of our
attempts to fix things are based in a deep lack of acceptance for ourselves. But fixing others or the
world is like a bottomless pit for our energies. There is nothing we can fix or change in the outside
world that actually fills this need. No matter what we change, or where we go, there we are.

Once again, these things may seem silly. We have been raised in a culture that looks past the value
of inner work until we end up tied up in knots and addicted to therapists. Or other things. We numb
out, distract, overwork, we seek gratification, approval, or confirmation in other things and people.
We try to earn acceptance by having enough, making enough money, achieving enough. In all
manner of exhausting tasks and fruitless pursuits. And that’s ok, for the time that we spend doing it.
But when we’re ready to let go, to move forward into a deeper level of relations with self, others,
and world, then self-acceptance is one of the first steps along the path.
The really beautiful thing about this work is that it transforms every relationship in our lives. We
find that our connections with friends become more meaningful, we connect with a deeper sense of
love for our partner, and we come to a sense of acceptance from family that might be difficult to
achieve through any external efforts. After a bit of time working on our relationship with the person
in the mirror, the world seems to change its relationship with us effortlessly.
 Chapter 12
The Power of Vulnerability

We live in a world where, all too often, strength is confused with independence, momentary
resilience, and lack of emotional response. “I don’t need any help. I can handle it on my own.” We
learn that tears are weak, and that strength means never admitting our sadness, that only the weak
admit fear. We learn to keep these things hidden from others, and maybe even to hide them from
ourselves. Sometimes, we get so good at burying these feelings that we don’t even realize they are
there.

But our fear and sadness, our doubts and insecurities, don’t go away when we hide from them. They
don’t vanish, scared away by our façade of will and indifference. They simply lay in waiting, buried
until the pressure of these feelings is so great that they burst through our mask of strength. And all
too often, they come out in the form of explosions. Angry outbursts, emotional breakdowns, the
point when we finally hit the wall and can’t see any pleasure or value in our lives any longer.

Once upon a time, I took pride in this kind of strength. I thought I knew how to surf my mind,
distracting myself from all those place that brought up pain or doubt, fear or sadness. I thought that
I could control my way past these emotions, keep a lid on things indefinitely. I was wrong.
Eventually, things built up so much that I became destructive. I tore the life that I had built down
around me, never even realizing that I was doing it, helpless to stop the chaos. And, although it was,
without a doubt, one of the most difficult experiences of my life, it led me to one of the most
beautiful lessons that I have ever learned. One that I am still in the process of learning, and probably
will be for my entire life.

I learned I was not alone. Not an island. That I didn’t need to do it on my own. I learned the value
of letting people in. And of letting myself in. The value of owning and accepting my emotions for
what they were, rather than trying to prove to myself and others that they were as I thought they
should be. And I learned that when I was open, authentic, and real, when I let other people in, I
could connect with them in a way that I never could while maintaining that brittle façade of false
strength.

This took a long period of retraining, just to break the ice. I had to watch how others were
responding to me. By the time the third person asked me what was wrong, I knew that it wasn’t just
a fluke or a casual misunderstanding. It was time to stop and check in with myself. When had I
gotten triggered? Where was that flash of fear, or anger, or guilt, or sadness, or whatever set me off
in the first place? When did I step past my real emotions and start icing things over?

This isn’t the sort of thing you do once. It takes time, effort, and a dedication to be real with one’s
self. But the payoff is almost unimaginable, especially if we are accustomed to a life of emotional
distance, of suppression, distraction, intellectual bypass, and unhealthy excess of control. Like many
of the things I share in this book, in order to be truly transformative, vulnerability must be exercised
as a practice, a daily reframe to our approach to the world and to one another.

The payoff begins with a greater degree of acceptance. When we start to admit our real feelings to
ourselves, we become more capable of honesty. With ourselves and others. We can let ourselves
be as we truly are, hiding nothing, and allowing ourselves to grow from where we are. We can put
down the masks and start the process of real growth, real healing.
We often hide the way we truly feel because we are afraid that it won’t be accepted by others. I’ve
found the opposite to be true. There is a sense of realness, of sincerity, that can’t be achieved in any
other way. And people feel it. When we show our vulnerability, it resonates with others. We all
share the same kinds of fears, irritations, sadness, doubts, insecurities, all sorts of things that we are
afraid to share openly with others. And when we do share them, something opens up. A sense of
true, deep connection is available in a way that it never was before. A door is opened that allows
authentic, loving relationships into our lives. Relationships that support this realness that we have
stepped into. That hold us in our vulnerability and create a foundation for our return to wholeness.

The most ironic thing, considering the training that most of us have received, is that vulnerability is
true strength. It isn’t the brittle surface, unable to take too much pressure or it will crack. It isn’t
the mask of the false, capable self that must be upheld so energetically. Vulnerability is strength to
the core. It brings the kind of self-acceptance that passes all scrutiny, that stands the test of time
and flows with the changing circumstances. This is the strength of the flowing river, rather than that
of the stone. Soft on the surface, and steel at the core. It lightens the load that we have learned to
ignore, makes us brighter and more full of life. And it gives us the kind of personal power, integrity,
and humanness that we respect so much in others, but often don’t know how to reach in ourselves.

One of the most interesting things is that this sort of strength doesn’t develop in isolation. It
requires human connection. It depends upon honest, authentic relating with others. It springs from
revealing the depth of our being to those around us, and accepting whatever comes. The more
honesty, regardless of the difficulties we experience along the way, the more strength. And there
will be difficulties. It’s hard to take that first step, to admit those dark secrets that we have worked
so hard to keep hidden in the shadows. And though it gets easier, it never becomes easy.
Regardless, every step along the way is a victory, a movement towards more life, more joy, more
success, more freedom. This is, perhaps, the most rewarding journey any of us can take.

Technique: Listening to Yourself, and Speaking Your Truth

1. Tune in to where you are listening from.

This may sound a bit odd, at first. But where does your awareness hang out? Is it in that
space right behind your eyes? If so, try to bring the awareness down into your heart, into
your body. Notice the feelings within you. Let go of the waiting to speak, the need to be
seen in a certain way, the stories and distractions that like to fill our mental space, and just
feel.

2. What are you feeling?

Stick with the feeling, and avoid the justification for it. No one can make you feel any way in
particular. People only have power over you when you give them that power, consciously or
unconsciously. And you don’t have to justify feelings or assign blame for them. They simply
are. Let it be the feeling that it is. If it’s anger, then let it be anger. If it’s fear, sadness,
regret, shame, guilt, etc., just let it be that feeling. Let go of the story that comes with it.

3. Share this feeling. Be open. Share it as it is, without expecting others to change their behaviour or
fix it for you. Just share the feeling honestly, in its rawness and realness.

“I’m feeling fear come up in me.” “I’m feeling anger or irritation.” “I’m feeling sad or
afraid.” “I’m feeling ashamed.” You may want to notice when this feeling came in, what
was said or done that evoked it within you, but don’t move into that space of blame.
Strength comes from accepting the inner world, and not controlling the outer. You may
 even want to begin with a journal, but this is just a crutch, a baby step that allows you to
have enough self-acceptance to begin practicing honesty with others. You may feel
resistance. To an idea, a person, or even to the expression of your truth. Let that resistance
be. Name it. Get it out in the open, and let it be exactly what it is.

4. Look at where this feeling is in your body. Breathe into it, feel it, not forcing it, and allow the
intensity to pass.

Once you begin to understand the language of the body, this will give a whole message to
you. About the feeling, what it’s truly related to, where it’s coming from, and why it’s there.
A message that holds more truth than the stories that our minds want to build around them.
But don’t force it. For the moment, just feeling it in the body is enough. Just feel it, and
breathe. As you do, you’ll find that, without forcing it down or distracting, the feeling ebbs
away on its own. But you have to stick with it. You’ll want to run, to distract, explain, justify.
The mind will do everything it can to keep you from having to feel this feeling, in an effort to
protect you. But the pain connected with it will never pass until you truly allow yourself to
experience it, and allow it to pass on its own. Just hold yourself in this space and breathe.

Repeat this technique every time that you feel something come up. Hold yourself to a rigorous
honesty. Be authentic and real. First with yourself, and then allow this to extend into all of your
relationships. Within a very short time, you will be amazed at the changes that happen in your inner
life. Even more magically, these changes will be reflected in your outer life, in all of your
interactions. Without effort, without forcing anything at all.

Don’t argue with others about your feelings. This won’t do you any good. And there will be some
times, some interactions, in which this level of openness and consciousness in your relating is
neither invited nor appropriate. But, the more that you practice this, the more you will find that you
only want in your life the kinds of relationships that support this depth of authenticity. The people
with whom you cannot practice this level of honesty will begin to slip further away, and the space
created by their departure will invite new and more meaningful interactions.

Once again, this is a practice. And the benefits don’t come without effort. But the result will be a
lightening of every aspect of your life. When you no longer need to keep up the image, everything
becomes easier. When you no longer need to spend so much mind and energy forcing feelings
away, life and joy flow into your experience with so much more ease and grace. Instead of trying to
change the mirror, you have allowed the self to change, through the magic of acceptance, and
through the healing power of authenticity. And the mirror of our outer world changes to reflect this
new state of being, this new approach to the world.
 Chapter 13
The Art of Listening

Communication is one of the most powerful and important skills we can learn. Our world is made of
connections, relations, and interactions. These things give our lives meaning. And yet, many of us
have never learned to truly listen.

Listening is more than hearing. It’s not just done with the ears. Listening engages the whole being,
and it’s an art of healing all in itself. When someone listens to us, we feel seen. We feel accepted as
we are and connected to the listener. And sometimes, this is all it takes to create real change in our
lives. Our need to be seen is so deep and vast that it touches every part of our lives. It comes out in
the way we dress the things we say, how we act, and the choices we make. And yet, none of these
things can earn the right to be seen. None of these can make it happen. The only thing we can do to
be seen is allow it. And we find the space to allow it when we accept ourselves, and when we make
ourselves available to listen to others.

One of the first keys to listening is to feel where you’re listening from. This may sound strange, but
we can feel our consciousness within our bodies. We can feel where it is focused, this feeling is
reflected in how we process what we are experiencing. Give it a try:

When you’re paying close attention to something that you’re reading or learning, see where the
attention is focused. For most of us, it’s right behind the eyes. It almost feels that this point is the
seat of our consciousness. But we can move our attention at will. We can, instead, pay attention to
our body, to our heart and belly. And when we do, the way we understand things and feel the need
to respond to them also changes. This change is also felt by the people that we interact with.
There’s a different quality to the interaction, one that subtly shifts the dynamic in surprising ways.

Another key is listening to other things in the communication aside from the words. Listen to the
tone, to the facial expressions and the body language. When I say listen, now, I don’t mean focusing
your attention in that laser-beam intellectual style. Instead, let yourself become open to receiving
whatever is there to be seen, heard, and felt. Most of what is communicated is coming around the
words, through the voice, the body, and the face. All of these things build together to give a more
complete message than the words ever could. Subtle feelings connected with what the person is
saying, points of tension, topics that absorb their attention and make them go back to parts of their
memory or internal world.

Presence is another key to real listening, but if we’re able to listen on this level, then being present
isn’t something we need to strive for. It happens naturally. In becoming present, we drop thoughts
of what we want to say, how we want to be seen by the other, what we’ll have to do later, or
memories of what has happened before. We tune in to a depth that causes us to connect with the
speaker. This connection is a really beautiful thing. Our breath, body language, pace, and tone
naturally adjust to fit the person that we’re communicating with. Without thinking about it.
Without even trying.

Another beautiful aspect of this style of connection is how the person that you are speaking with
feels about the communication. It feels easy. Accepting. Nonjudgmental. It feels like being seen.
And it feels healing. When someone listens to us like this, we are able to drop the masks and the
posturing, and simply allow ourselves to be held in this space. We are invited to show ourselves
sincerely and authentically. Without these words ever coming up.
When we encounter others that can hold space for what we have to say and for who we are, we
allow ourselves to shine. And it feels amazing. This is the gift that we give to others when we do the
same for them. Practicing the art of listening to others also helps us to listen to ourselves, and to
the subtle signals that come to us from the world, in all their variety. We create a space where
intuition, clarity, and healing can enter our own lives.

Technique: Real Listening

1. When listening, see if you can bring your attention down to your heart center.

2. Focus on the body, and try to drop any stories that are going through the mind. Just let them pass
without engaging with them.

3. Let your eyes take in the person that you’re connecting with. Don’t seek out any particular details,
but meet their eyes.

4. Let go of the need to respond, to finish their sentence or interject. Allow what they are saying to
simply be.

5. When they have spoken their piece, feel within for any thoughts or feelings that arose in response
to their message.

6. Share whatever has arisen into your consciousness at the time.

Depending upon the nature of the communication, you may wish to ask if they are open to
feedback before sharing. When sharing, be real, but don’t concern yourself with changing
their perspective. It is exactly right for them at this point, part of their own journey of
experience and understanding. If it is right for their perspective to change, they will be given
the experiences that bring them to that point. Sharing is part of letting the other person
know that you have really heard them. It doesn’t need to be a debate. In practical
discussions, base your response on your feelings and needs. The more honest and real you
are, without having to go into ego games, the more understanding will be shared. Things
that might have led to conflict often become resolved naturally.

Everyone is different. Each of us is at our own step in our journey. Sometimes, those we are
speaking with are seeking validation of their feelings, commiseration, or agreement with their
stories. We don’t have to give them this, and, in fact, it’s not always healthy to give these people
what they want. Sometimes real listening and authentic communication means expressing your
truth in ways that the other person would prefer not to hear. And sometimes, the best tactic is just
to allow them to be seen, and to come to their lessons without our help.

I find, too that sometimes people are seeking attention. Our attention is one of the most precious
gifts we can give. It’s never an obligation. When we give the gift of our attention consciously,
knowing our power and choice, then it comes across as real connection. If it feels like a strain to give
your attention to others, then our boundaries of time, space, and attention have been crossed. It
always comes down to the feeling, in the end. This is the inner compass that leads us in the highest
and best direction.
 Chapter 14
Creating a Dynamic: Mastering the Emotional Vibration

Some days we are full of energy, confident, clear, and ready to handle the world. Others, we might
feel tired, less than confident, even a bit like staying in bed. We might not feel like being seen or
opening up to others. If we watch your interactions over the course of the day, we can see that
people actually respond differently to us depending on how we feel. We draw in different type of
interactions. All of our communications with others have a quality to them that reflects our
emotional tone.

Let’s return to the example of the person walking in the room in a bad mood. We can all feel it from
time to time. Someone enters the space and they have a black cloud over them. If it’s intense
enough, we might get a bit uncomfortable. It can interrupt the conversation and make us want to
leave the room. On the other hand, when someone enters the room full of real cheer, or in a calm
and peaceful space, we can feel this change in the ‘tone’ of the room as well. The room actually
feels a bit different, and we are inclined to act and speak differently in response.

It is easier to notice the effect that others have on a space that we are in than to feel our own.
When someone else comes enters our space, we can feel the shift in the energy. We can see how it
was before, and how it is now. Just by watching the change in how we feel. When it comes to our
own space, we carry it around from place to place. Because it’s there with us, wrapped around us
and influencing everything we experience over the course of the day, it’s a bit harder to distinguish.
If our energy isn’t in the greatest place at the time, it might just feel like a run of bad luck. Or we
might wonder why everyone we run into just has to give us a hard time. If the emotional vibration
we carry is positive, enjoyable, easy, and inviting, we might just notice that it’s been a good day. We
run into people and situations that we enjoy without ever realizing why.

The key is that our emotions are felt by those around us. Even if they don’t notice them consciously,
they respond to them instinctively. We can bring an air of seriousness or lightness around with us,
bring an energy of peace or drama into every interaction we have throughout the day. We can hold
a space of joy, or broadcast the tension of our fear or grief to everyone we encounter. As soon as
we begin to see that the way we feel changes how things happen in our lives, we can step into a
deeper level of mastery in our lives. We stop wondering why situations or interactions go awry, and
start looking at what we can do to bring the best possible feeling into the situation.

The emotions and stories that we carry interact with those we encounter and create a dynamic.
That might sound strange, but do you have anyone in your life that you just seem to get into the
same arguments with, time and time again? Or that always makes you feel a certain way? Do you
find that you get uncomfortable or disempowered in certain situations, and just can’t speak your
mind or assert your boundaries? Or that people always give you a hard time in certain situations?
These are dynamic, roles that we take on in relation to others or to certain situations in the world.
And with a bit of practice, we can actually establish the dynamic that works for us. It just takes
awareness of the fact that we can influence the space, and the capacity to tap into certain feelings.

This can be tricky. We often feel like our emotions are wild territory. They just happen, and we
can’t do anything about them. We feel the way we feel, and that’s how it is.

Well, yes and no.

Every emotion that we have comes up for a reason. Each one holds a message for us, or gives us an
opportunity to clear unresolved emotional energies from the past. Trying to control or suppress our
emotions causes problems. They build up behind our rigid walls and explode at the worst times.
And, any time that we suppress a feeling and try to feel something else, the way we are really feeling
always seems to slip out around the edges. Control is not the answer. It’s important to listen to
what comes up, to honor the messages that our emotions bring to us. Once we have made a habit
of listening to our feelings, accepting the messages they bring to us, and creating a clear space, then
we have a bit of room to work with the emotional vibration.

There are a number of things we can do to bring in a specific emotional energy. And, once we can
bring that energy into our own fields, we automatically broadcast it to those around us. But first,
how can we connect with specific emotional energies?

One of the keys is recognizing that the body, mind, heart, and energy are connected. They are all
expressions of the same energy, the same being, on different levels. When we are happy, we smile.
But the really funny thing is that when we smile, we begin to feel happy. Sometimes the dog is
wagging its tail because it’s happy, and sometimes it’s happy because it’s wagging its tail. This might
seem a bit strange at first, but give it a go and you’ll see some pretty amazing results.

We can see the emotional states of other people in their posture, their facial expression, how they
hold their limbs open or closed, in eye contact or avoidance. We can see how people connect with
one another in a conversation just by observing their positioning and body language. We can hear in
the tone of the voice when someone says “yes,” but they really mean “no,” or “I don’t know.”

Learning how to read these subtle signals is an art in itself. We are all different, and each person has
their own unique way of expressing their thoughts and emotions with their bodies, eyes, voice, face,
and distancing. It’s an amazing thing to learn, and opens an entirely new world of communication
and human understanding. But, it takes time, and it’s important not to make assumptions in the
process. But, once we start to observe our own style, our own way of looking, behaving, speaking,
and connecting on the basis of our feelings, we can start to tap into the emotional vibration that we
would like to bring into a situation.

This is an amazing and valuable skill. And, seeing how much it can help in your daily life will reveal
just how much of the treatment you receive from others is based on the signals you send out. By
tapping into and broadcasting a feeling of confidence, we can be well received in professional
circumstances or walk through a rough neighborhood without anyone giving us trouble. Bringing in
a feeling of peace and nurturing can help to calm a troubled friend or help a client through their
stressful moments. Bringing in a sense of warmth and invitation can invite friendship and
connection, making it much easier to make friends or to get along with others.

Technique: Tapping in to Our Emotional Vibration

1. Find a space where you can reflect without being disturbed. Ground, and feel into your space.

Focus on the breath, counting down if it makes it easier. Relax the body, and visualize roots
growing deep into the Earth. Once you have established this connection, bring your
attention up through your body, feeling the whole body at once. Feel into the area around
you, into your personal bubble of space.

2. Consider the emotion that you would like to tap into. It might be confidence, gentleness, joy,
peacefulness. Anything that you would like to learn to hold in your field.
 As you think about this emotion, pay attention to any changes you notice in the quality of
your space. Don’t force anything; simply observe. Notice intensity, direction of focus,
speed, alertness, all of the subtle shifts in energy that characterize this emotion.

3. Let yourself feel this emotion. Let your body take on the posture related with it. Let your face
relax into it. Let your eyes take on this feeling. Consider the quality of your voice when you are
feeling his way. Let every aspect of it permeate your non-verbal language.

You might think of others that hold this energy and how they speak, behave, and carry
themselves when they do. Or you may just feel it our within your own body. Whichever
way works for you, just take on the posture, the tone, the facial expressions, everything that
relates with the feeling. The key is authentic feeling, letting the body reflect the feeling and
letting the feeling build in response. As you feel it, visualize this emotion permeating your
field as it calls your body to shift. This will teach you to hold this vibration on every level of
your being.

4. Move on to the next emotion when you are ready, feeling each one out from the inside, and
letting that message be carried into your body and your field.

You may wish to work with just one emotion at a time, exploring it fully before you attempt
to take on another. Or, you may wish to explore all of those that you would like to hold. Do
what works for you, but remember that this is just the first step. This will make a real
difference when you can hold this feeling in your field during the course of your interactions.

5. When you are ready to finish, ground your energy, and bring your focus back into the body.

It always helps to take a moment to cleanse your energy at the finish of the exercise. Once
again, just visualize a waterfall of pure, clean energy falling through your field and carrying
the residue of any experience or feeling that no longer serves you. Intention is the key.

6. As you go about your day, remember the feelings that you have learned to carry. When it’s
appropriate, bring them into your field once again. Observe the difference that this makes in your
experience in the world and in your interactions with others.

The body is a beautiful key to this exercise. Taking on the posture, relaxing the face, and
tapping into the feeling with your intention all work together, working towards this vibration
from may angles at once. It’s important that the true feelings are not suppressed, that the
feeling you are learning to hold is natural, rather than forced. This is the detail that will both
take the most practice and give the most results.

• • •

One of the keys in the last step is “when it’s appropriate.” How do we know when the specific
vibration is right for the situation? When it can be taken on authentically and without being forced?
And when it will be most helpful for our situation?

There’s no easy answer to this. Practice is the key. Every situation and interaction in life is different.
The more we allow ourselves to be guided by the brilliance of our subconscious, our intuition and
higher guidance, the more fitting our response with be to the situation. But this means that no hard
and fast guidelines are possible. Another thing that’s important here is the need to honor our
emotions rather than attempting to control them. The more unresolved feelings, thoughts and
impulses fill our field, the less capable it is of responding to conscious direction. Because of this,
working with our triggers and addressing our shadow is essential background work for this skill.
One thing to remember is that we respond emotionally to our situation because of the way we
interpret it, and because we have been trained to unconsciously respond in a certain way. Each
situation is a gift and an opportunity, so long as we can see the blessing that it holds. When you feel
uncomfortable and hesitant, then it’s time to relax, allow the feeling, see it, honor it, and then move
into the posture of confidence. When sadness or fear comes in, first honor, accept, and receive the
message that this emotion brings to you. And then work with joy, or peace, or whatever feeling will
best help you to deal with the situation at hand. This will help to address both sides of the process:
tuning in to the inner compass, and bringing your emotional climate into alignment with your needs.
 Part III
Applied Genius

So much of my journey has been wrapped up in the idea of potential. Of exploring what is possible,
for me and for each of us as human beings. It excites me to explore how to move beyond the limits
of what I thought I could do, to embrace a level of awareness and capability that might seem a bit
beyond the fold. But, after a bit, the question of why pops in. What is all of this potential for? What
am I going to do with it?

Along the way, these questions have conjured some pretty grand illusions for me. Ideas of fixing the
world, or of saving it. Fantasies of shining a light into the darkness of ignorance. A sense of terrible
purpose, a mission to do… something. Most of these ideas seem pretty childish to me now. Well
intentioned, perhaps, but wrapped up in ego and insecurity, in a lack of self-acceptance that
reflected out into a lack of acceptance of my world.

This has been a bit of a meandering journey, so I’ve found myself in other places as well. Learning
the importance of acceptance in a way that means everything is good and there’s nothing to be
done. Nothing to be fixed, and nothing to be saved. All is right and good, and exactly as it should
be. So, there’s no reason to put my intention into the world. Let it be as it is, and come to a deeper
acceptance of it with every experience that comes my way.

I’ve gotten plenty of benefit out of these ideas, too. But somewhere along the way, it left me with a
sense of stagnation. I found that I, too, am a part of the world. A hands-off approach wasn’t really
honouring the life that I have, the time and energy at my disposal. It ignores the fact that every act
that I engage in has an effect on the world around me. The whole world moves as one, and there’s
no real way for me to bow out of the game. I’m a participant in the theatre of life, whether I resist
or accept my place within it.

It can be pretty confusing to think about what should be. What I should do, or what is right. And
when I think about it in this way, I find myself moving from a place of mind, living out my own stories
or those that have been passed along to me as an inheritance, whether from family, culture, or other
vectors along the way. Anything I think I should do takes me away from presence and from the
awareness of those subtle signals that seem the only reliable guidance I have found. So, once again I
have to bring myself back, listen to my sense of yes or no, follow the joy and excitement that serves
so well to let me know where my energies are rightly placed. In my own terms, and not by any set of
standards I’ve picked up along the way.

By now, my emphasis on the power of story within our lives has become fairly apparent. I love
stories, and love ideas. Despite this love, I am very careful with them. It’s all too easy for me to
become attached to them, to define myself and my actions within some framework of story and lose
touch with the more grounded and centered way of being. With the way that I value so much. Still,
I find that stories can help me to make sense of things, to highlight possibilities and bring in clarity
for things that I feel. One story that helps me to make sense of creating and applying our intention
to the world comes from the Toltec teachings. It is the dream of the three attentions, and I’ll do my
best to pass the essence along faithfully, though I cannot consider myself a mouthpiece for the
Toltec tradition, or for any other, for that matter.

The dream of the three attentions shows the expansion of awareness in three stages. The first
attention is that of the victim, the one who is at the mercy of their world, wrapped up in forces
beyond their choosing or control. The image of this attention is the snake. The snake can climb one
tree at a time. It might be able to move from one tree to another if the limbs touch, but for the
most part, it must abandon one tree to move into another. The trees are like our stories, our way of
perceiving the world and interacting with it. Each tree gives its own vantage point, just as each story
offers its own way of seeing the world and relating to it. When we feel that we are at the mercy of
the world, we just have to deal with what happens the best we can. Sometimes, the tree we are on
becomes uncomfortable, but it can seem nearly impossible to relate to the world in any other way.

As we begin to take accountability for our choices, to see our part in the situations that we
experience, we begin to shift our attention to that of the warrior. The warrior isn’t fighting anything
outside itself. Instead, seeing that they have a decisive influence on their experience in life, the
warrior seeks out those aspects within our approach that limit our expression, or those that cause us
to create experiences other than those we would like to have in our lives. This is an inward journey,
a quest for an awareness of choice and power within our experience. Where are we giving our
power away to others and to the world? Where is the choice? What are we allowing to dominate
our emotional, mental, and physical well-being in the world, and what other choices can we make?

The image for the second attention is the jaguar. The jaguar can jump from one tree to another. It
has more freedom in shifting stories, in changing from one way of seeing the world and relating to it
to another. It can leap with ease out of one tree, and will do so without hesitation if it feels that the
current tree is no longer serving it. On top of that, the jaguar is comfortable walking along the
ground, in those places where we let go of story altogether, allowing our experience to be unformed
and raw. Once again, this is a journey of liberation, not from those external forces that seemed so
powerful to us from an earlier state of awareness, but from the forces within that create difficulty
and cause us to be entrenched within it.

The third attention, and the reason that I decided to share this story to begin with, is that of the
artist. Once we have moved on from the trap of our own perceptions, our early and unconsidered
stories, and once we have found grace in encountering those aspects within that cause us to create
more of the same, we then have a choice. What would we like to create in our experience? What
are we moved to do with the gift of time, energy, and life that we find bestowed upon us?

The image of the third attention is that of the eagle, an animal that is perfectly at ease soaring above
the trees. The eagle can roost in a tree if it chooses. Or it can glide on the currents that lift high
above the treetops, comfortable viewing the stories from afar and seeing their place in the larger
web of life. The beautiful thing about this level of awareness is that it allows us to take on certain
stories if we choose, and if we see that these stories will serve us. Instead of being confronted by
the meaninglessness of life, we are full of possibility, aware of the capacity to create anything that
inspires and excites us.

It has been coming through to me for some time that the “why” and the “how” of what I do is more
important than the “what.” If I’m taking action from a sense of lack, or want, or need, then my
action takes part of that energy. It becomes a reflection of the feeling of lack, and is met with a
sense of struggle. For me, this doesn’t mean that action is meaningless, but rather that my actions
work best and create the most enjoyable experiences when they come from a sense of joy in
creating. It means learning what I really want, what is important to me, and what I truly care about.
What message and energy I would like to bring into my experience through the medium of my
actions.

For me, the application of my potential and the use of the things I have encountered along my
journey is most valuable from the standpoint of the second and third attentions. When I set a goal, I
can chart a course towards that goal, observing what comes up from within to block me or thwart
my progress. This helps me to see what I’m carrying around in terms of limitations and stories that
no longer serve me. It takes some willingness to take responsibility for these obstacles and see
where my power can be found in navigating them. And sometimes it takes a willingness to see that
what I wanted to create came from a place that doesn’t serve me. These can be difficult things to
take on, but each time I’m able to do so, my world becomes larger and my experience becomes
more full of life.

The really juicy parts come from actions taken from the third attention. From the desire to create
from the joy of creation, from excitement and a sense of connection with the beauty that flows
through the world. No saving, no fixing, no grand story or mission to push me into pushing the
world. Simply a dance and a flow, a movement into participation with the unfolding of the moment.
In this, what I am is expressed through my actions, shared with the world. It becomes an offering
made unconditionally, without any demand or expectation that this offering be received in any
particular way. The act of giving is enough, an organic production, a release as natural as breathing.
These moments of creation fill me with a sense of life, and give me a feeling of wonder at the
privilege of experience.
 Chapter 15
The Art of Learning

“Why do we have to learn this, anyway? I’m never going to use it in my life!”

How many times have you heard that? How many times have you said it?

With the way that information is commonly taught, it’s no surprise. Our education system
emphasizes rote memorization, compartmentalizes information, and teaches it in a way that makes
it seem pretty irrelevant to our lives. As a result, learning is such a challenge that some people are
turned off of it altogether. Many people walk out of the education system feeling that they lack the
capacity to learn some subjects well, and those that do learn well with the current systems often
lack the capacity to apply their knowledge.

There’s a better way. More fun, more effective, and far more relevant to our lives. In order to see
how it works, though, it helps to have a bit more understanding of what the learning process actually
entails.

First, there are a number of things that set the stage for taking on new information. Exercise gets
the blood flowing and improves cognitive function and retention. Yoga, in particular, has been
shown to have a significant benefit on the capacity to learn. Having enough sleep and water are also
more important than most people realize. Meditating helps to focus the mind and bring the
awareness to a point where we can work with it more effectively. And reducing stress levels gets
the mind and body out of the “alarm” state so that they can function more effectively. Once you
have the tools in working order, what’s next?

All learning involves exposure to information, integrating that information into our pre-existing
knowledge base, and applying that information. The first two, exposure and integration, have to do
with memory. In order to learn something effectively, we have to remember what we’ve learned, at
last enough to use it. So, how can we work with memory?

Memory is largely influenced by emotion, interest, association, and repetition. Now, before I go on
to the last two, let’s look at the first a bit more closely: emotion and interest. When you are
interested in something, it sticks better. Just think about how easy it is to remember the score to
the football game or the latest thing in fashion (if that’s the sort of thing that grabs you). When
things aren’t interesting, they slide right past the mind. Interest is the filter that determines what
information is relevant, and thus what should be remembered.

Emotion works in a similar fashion. When we experience something that has a high emotional
charge, whether that charge is joy, anger, fear, sadness, or any other strong emotion, it sticks. The
mind holds onto it tightly, even if we have experienced it only for a moment, and long ago in the
past.

The first key, then, to learning something effectively, is to explore your motivation. Why are you
learning this? Everything that I have ever learned in my life has come in handy at some point or
another, and I firmly believe this can be the case for everyone. All the little details we pick up, no
matter how seemingly trivial in the moment, have a knack for returning. Sometimes to haunt us,
and sometimes to make us laugh at the fact that there actually was some reason in our lives for us to
lick it up in the first place.
Even when it seems that the subject itself is irrelevant, it becomes more interesting and charged
with more emotion if we see how it’s connected with our advancement, development, edification,
or with other interesting topics. If it can set us up for the job we want, the school we want, the
trade we want, or to talk to that cute person who’s interested in the subject. This is a good starting
point, but sometimes we just can’t find anything directly related to the subject that actually holds a
charge for us. Here’s where it gets interesting.

No information is really separate from other information. We group it into subjects like
mathematics, language, physics, biology, psychology, but all of these subjects are really different
manifestations of the same thing. They are all manifestations of energy. Energy is the underlying
language that links all knowledge together, making them all different flashlights in the same dark
room. Everything you learn teaches you about something else. And no one really understands the
extent of this connection. If we focus on the interlinks, then a whole new world of knowledge opens
up. And what we learn is more than any teacher knows, or realizes they are teaching.

Before I take that much further, let me go into repetition and association. Repetition is the way we
are taught multiplication tables, random facts from history, the bones and muscles in anatomy, and
the sorts of things unfortunate people are forced to learn in law school. Among a number of other
things. But repetition in itself doesn’t engage the mind, doesn’t interest it, and doesn’t factor in
applying the knowledge. It’s good for cramming for a multiple choice test. And then we forget
everything we’ve crammed. How much of the information you crammed for tests is still accessible
to your conscious mind? If you’re like most, then you know exactly what I mean.

The big buzz words of new thoughts about learning are critical thinking, holistic thought, and
metaknowledge. Critical thought is all about understanding what information means, and knowing
how to make evaluations based upon that meaning. Holistic thought is understanding the
connectedness of all subjects, and metaknowledge addresses how we think about the knowledge
that’s presented to us. All of these things are based upon association. Upon linking bits of
information together in a way that has meaning and significance to us.

Rote memorization, or repetition without association, is based on the attempt to make the mind do
something alien to it. The conscious mind can hold between five to nine bits of information, on
average, without dropping some out. Rote memorization often just means repeating unrelated bits
of information until they sink in. And it doesn’t work all that well, especially in the long term. On
the other hand, the mind can make an infinite number of associations about the same bit of
information, and each association strengthens our capacity to remember it, as well as our capacity
to relate it critically to the rest of what we know. To apply it.

So, what does all that actually mean?

It means that we can revolutionize our capacity to learn by realizing that what we are learning is so
much more than it appears to be. Mathematics teaches us about music. Biology teaches us about
sustainable energy flow patterns. Language teaches us about psychology, about what interests
people and what patterns we create in our experience. Everything has patters, and all of these
patterns are derivations of the same Tao, the same flow of energy that creates and pervades all
things. Knowledge has been made irrelevant because it has been compartmentalized. Bringing it
back together, especially in the age where knowledge is more readily available than at any other
point in recorded history, holds unimagined potential for understanding and application in our lives.

And that’s fascinating.

But this is me. We all have different learning styles, and we all have different interests. A basic
starting point for each of us is to create an underlying language that all new information can be
grafted onto. Look for more knowledge than is apparent on the surface. See how it relates to other
things you know and that you’re interested in. Even if you have to look a bit harder, just the process
of associating what you know with what you’re learning will give you an amazing edge in taking the
information on and working with it.

Technique: Creating the Learning State

1. Make sure your tools are in working order.

This means exercise, hydration, sleep, and food. Meditation is amazing to increase learning
capacity, and yoga is a huge bonus. But work with what you can. Don’t let the bits you can’t
manage block the rest.

2. Find your motivation.

Get interested. It doesn’t matter how. Relate the knowledge to something you’re
interested in. See how learning this will help you. There’s always a way that it will, even if
it’s nothing more than passing a class. But if the class isn’t a big motivation, look bigger.
Connect it to something that you do care about. Be creative about understanding how this
information fits into your life.

3. Focus your attention on the material.

This may seem to go without saying, but we live in a world of multitasking and distractions.
Take a few moments to Gather the Threads before you begin studying, or when you enter a
class. Breathe, let everything else go, and harness your attention to the task. When
studying, focus intensely in-between breaks where you get up, get the blood flowing, and let
the attention rest. 25 minute periods interrupted by 5 minute breaks does the job more
efficiently than long periods without a break.

4. Associate and relate.

The best way to do this is to generate new ideas and new connections, especially about
things that you have interest in. It also helps to structure the information. Writing
handwritten bullet point notes or mapping the information visually help to connect with it
kinaesthetically and visually at the same time. Connecting the information to a story, an
internal way of relating the bits of information to one another, can be extremely helpful.
But it’s best if this story has relevance to both your life and the material. Relating seemingly
different subjects constructively is one of the best ways to do this. If you’re able to do this
creatively and effectively, you’ll not only learn the information better, you’ll also have
cutting-edge linkages that show more about each subject.

5. Apply and verify.

Here’s where repetition comes in. Subjects emphasize either process, like mathematics, or
comprehension, like language. With process-based subjects, learn each part, and then apply
the process, testing as you go. Do it, and check it. Again. And again. And again. Then, the
repetition actually provides an action pattern, a sequential way of taking action on the
knowledge in new situations. It becomes a habit, in a way that actually works. In the
beginning, write out each step of the process. This helps to identify the step that’s actually
giving problems, letting you focus on the bit that counts.
 With comprehension-based subjects, the best way to integrate the knowledge is to ask
questions about it. And to answer questions about it. Talk about it. Consider the subject
from many angles. Consider what this means, and what it says about other things. See what
others have understood about the subject, and compare what you have understood. And
then double-check a reliable source to see how you both compare. Don’t focus on getting
the material for the test. The more angles you consider the information from, the more
completely you will be able to remember all of those little details. They’ll have something to
stick to.

All of this is helpful, but the true revolution in thought comes from finding a framework that allows
you to integrate all of the knowledge you encounter within a single framework. If you can manage
to get interested about the nature of the universe and relate that to energy, then you have an
underlying framework that can absorb all knowledge and integrate it into your life in a relevant and
useful way. Mathematics shows universal shapes and vibrations of energy. Biology shows balanced
energy flow patterns. Chemistry shows the relation between charge and substance. Quantum
physics shows that thoughts influence material reality. This means that psychology, story, language,
and all of the human sciences actually create energetic patterns that reflect and structure energy,
which then translates into physical matter. If this fascinates you, then you have a whole frontier of
new exploration to pioneer. This is the future of understanding.
 Chapter 16
Getting out of the Busy Trap

“I want to, but I just don’t have the time.”

How many times have you heard that? Said it?

People of this century are moving faster than those of all of the previous ones put together. We
have distractions everywhere, and more demands upon our time than we can count. It often feels
like there just aren’t enough hours in the day or days in the week to make it all happen. And at the
same time, what are we really getting done? For most of us, just enough each week to return to the
same cycle next week. Maybe we fit a vacation in there, save up for that new house or car. Or
gadget, appliance, tool, etc. But really, the quality of life remains the same, rushing by at that same
hectic pace until, hopefully, we enjoy a few years of retirement later in life. Years which, if we have
been trained well enough by our early life, we’ll have absolutely no idea what to do with. If our
health is good enough to enjoy them at all.

That’s a pretty bleak picture, isn’t it? But it doesn’t have to be like that. We don’t have to rush
around at a breakneck pace, half-exhausted and falling into the next enjoyable thing to numb out
from the crazed tempo of our lives. And we don’t have to wait until we fulfil some legendary
external condition, like winning the lottery or finally getting that big break, before we can slow down
and enjoy the fruits of the life that we’re living. We can start right now. In this moment. Which is,
after all, the only moment we can do anything.

What would happen if you just stopped? Want to give it a try?

How did that feel? How long were you able to stop without feeling anxious? Urgent? Like you were
missing something or wasting time? That you should be getting something done?

The real key is that, in our rushing around, half aware of where we are or what we are doing, we
make mistakes. We leave things half-done, forget things, put energy into things that could be saved
for later, and procrastinate on things that could really make an impact on our lives. We are addicted
to activity, and we’ve been sold the story that being busy is being productive. Most of the time, the
opposite is true. We can numb out this need to be busy, this underlying sense of urgency and
anxiety, by being active in other ways. Spending time with friends, surfing the web, chasing from
one activity to the next. But it doesn’t really go away, and we often come away from these activities
feeling a need to rush into or through something else.

Taking action isn’t enough. Aimless action doesn’t produce results. It makes us tired, runs us
around in circles, and gives a false sense of accomplishment. But it doesn’t get us anywhere. In
order to get out of the busy trap, two things are necessary:

1. Give yourself permission to not act.

Give yourself time to relax. To let all the bits swirling around come into some sense of a natural
order. Time to strategize, to reflect, and to really feel. Time to tune in to those subtle messages
that are so easily overlooked when we’re rushing around. Breathe. Gather in all those threads of
attention that keep you only half-present, and consolidate your energies for what you really need or
want to do.

2. Consider what you really want.

What do you really want to experience? Sometimes, it’s things that we want. Like the next car or
gadget. That’s fine, but spend a moment or two thinking about why you want them. What are they
really giving you? Are they improving your experience in life, or are they simply acting as the next
carrot you can chase?

This is your life, and your energy. You can focus it on creating any experience that you want. And
sometimes, we want our toys. But think of your time and energy as currency. You can spend this
currency in any way that you choose. Everything that you do now, in this moment, builds and moves
you towards your next moment. Be conscious and aware of how you’re building this future. Be
aware of your power as the creator of your life experience, and use this power consciously.

One of the things that tricks us into thinking that we’re getting more done than we really are is
multi-tasking. We can really only focus on one thing at a time. Each other thing you add to the
current activity means more bouncing back and forth, shifting your attention from one thing to the
next and losing something in the process. It’s just like having tabs open in your computer. The more
tabs you have open, the more processing power it takes. Open too many, and the computer slows
down so much that it freezes. Or crashes. We do the same thing. We get overwhelmed or
distracted, and none of the things we’re working on can get done effectively.

Technique: Gathering the Threads

1. Find a moment where you can stop.

You don’t need to take a half hour. You don’t need to find a special place or sit in any special
position. Just stop everything else, and just Be, wherever you are. This can be done while
you’re sitting at your desk, in a moment before you start the car, anywhere that you can get
just a few moments to collect your thoughts.

2. Close your eyes, and observe your mind.

Is it racing around? Thoughts coming in of the things that happened during the day, or the
things that you need to do later? Tomorrow’s to-do list or tonight’s activity? Just watch it
race around for the moment. Observe the things that are pulling your attention one way or
another. Maybe in many directions at once. Just step back and watch.

3. Breathe. Slow the breathing, relaxing the body. Let yourself become aware of your body, in this
place, in this moment. More aware with each breath.

When the mind is really racing and the body is carrying round tension, a count-down can
really help. Nothing extensive, just a simple ten-to-one will do. Slowing the breath down
and relaxing the body further with each count.

4. As all of those little flashes come up, those things that draw your attention this way and that, use
the breath. Exhale, releasing, just for the moment, the thing that pulls your attention towards it, and
inhale the thread of energy cack to your center, back to your body.

This can be done as quickly as you like. Or you can spend a half-hour. The key is not to rush.
Even if you have only a few moments to work with, let go of the things that call for your
 attention right now, even if only for a second. Pull the energy of your attention back in, into
the body, into the breath, back to where you are right now.

5. Once you’re done, deepen the breathing for a few breaths, engage with the body, and open your
eyes. And step forward into whatever task or activity you have to do next.

See if you can focus fully on the task at hand, whatever that is. No matter how big or small.
Do it with full attention, and full care. Without rushing, but with grace and style. You’ll find
that the task is easier. And most of the time, it gets done faster, more efficiently, and with
less mistakes. You might even have one of those ‘aha!’ moments that shows you the
solution to a difficult problem or a new and simpler way to do it.

It’s amazing how much difference those few moments can make. And a really beautiful an
unexpected thing happens. Suddenly, just by virtue of taking time to be present, we start to enjoy
what we’re doing so much more than before. That feeling of being overwhelmed slips away, and
some real interest and engagement can take its place. From this space, it takes less time and energy
to do what we need to do. We become more aware, more efficient, and more graceful. All because
we have freed up our mind and devoted it to what it needs to be focused on right now.

This is the beginning of mindfulness and presence. Of retraining ourselves to be fully conscious of
what we are doing, rather than trapping our attention in the past and present. Bringing more of our
faculties to bear in the moment. And, once again, it’s a practice. A few moments will help you to
get clear, to concentrate, focus, and achieve more effectively. And then practice is necessary to
remember to take those moments when you need them. Just like with any type of retraining, with
nay new habit, each time you do it, it becomes more natural. After a while, we find that it comes
without having to think about it. Each time we feel ourselves becoming scattered, we stop, breathe,
gather the threads, and then move forward to engage with life with full focus, with clarity, grace,
and style.

So, that takes care of number one. But what do we do about number two?

That is the subject of the next chapter.

 Chapter 17
Real Manifestation

Why are you doing what you’re doing? Why do you want what you want?

These may seem like silly questions, but they’re anything but. For the first, many of us might
respond, “because I have to.” We have to go to work to pay the bills, have to eat, have to breathe,
have to take care of all the myriad details which compose life’s necessities. And once we figure out a
way of approaching these necessities, we often don’t stop to reconsider. Is there a better way to
approach our situation? Is there a way to address our needs more effectively, more efficiently, and
with an eye for more than just getting by? Can we move from the survival mindset to one of actually
thriving?

The second question is even more revealing than the first. What is it you actually want? For many
of us, our desires are a mostly unthinking matter, emerging into the level of consciousness only at
the point of impulse. We want what we want, and we want it when we want it. In a world rife with
consumerism and programming through advertisement, we are trained to seek one thing after
another, schooled to go into debt, and chained to desires and impulses which exhaust us while
giving very little to our quality of life.

There are some that have become aware enough of where their energy is going and where it could
be going to make headway in moving towards a life that they want to live, but they are relatively
few. This equation is weighted in the wrong direction. And there’s no reason that it has to be. The
first step in addressing the situation is to wake up.

Let’s start with seeing our energy as currency. Each of us has time, physical energy, material
resources, knowledge, skills, and social connections. We have raw material, fuel, and ways of
connecting to the world to make things happen. We have the capacity to put energy into shaping
our lives as we see fit. If we are aware that this is a possibility. The first stumbling block is the story
that we can’t. “That won’t work. Be realistic. Get your head out of the clouds. This is how you have
to do it.” We are surrounded by so much programming about how we have to live, how we have to
spend our time or meet our needs, that in order to approach life differently, we need to rethink
everything from the foundations.

So, to meet the first stumbling block, what if you could? What if you could live a life that was
meaningful and fulfilling to you on every level? What if you could do what you love to do, make an
impact on the world that you really believe in, have a life that was real and right o you in every way?
Is it worth it to act as if it might be possible? Try that story on for size and see how it works?

Now, if you could create this kind of life, what would it look like?

This is important. We need to take action to manifest the life we really want. But before we take
action, we need to know what we’re going for. So take it to the most basic level imaginable. Don’t
get stuck on a certain model of car, a certain type of house, a specific job, a place in the country.
Don’t get stuck on the externals. Each of the things that we think we want are ideas we have on
how a need will be fulfilled. Take it back to the value itself. To the need. To the feeling of that need
being addressed.

I want to be happy. I want to be free. I want to have beautiful and meaningful connections with
others. I want to live in beautiful places with weather that feels amazing. I want to eat healthy food
that tastes great and makes my body feel alive. I want to be in the company of people that
recognize my value and that accept me fully for who I am. I want to spend my time developing my
knowledge and skills, doing the things that I love, and doing them in a way that benefits both myself
and those around me.

These are just examples, though they’re pretty basic. You may be focused in different areas than I
am, and you may be more specific about what you want. You may really want that car or that
house, that computer or new gadget. Whatever it is, that’s fine. Get clear. Take some time to know
exactly what it is that you want. And that’s the first step.

This is more than a wish list. When we write a wish list, we don’t often stop to think about the
values that create our needs. And we don’t often take the next step, sorting out how our actions
move us towards our desires. This is the first step to real manifestation, to using what we have to
create the experience that we truly wish to have in our lives. There’s a lot of material on this out
there at the moment. And some of it really works, for some people. But there are some details
missing in “The Secret” and much of the other popular material on the subject, and the details left
out make it a bit hit-or-miss for most of us. We find areas of our lives that just won’t budge or things
that just won’t manifest. I included these chapters to explore some of these missing details, to
explore how to make the energy available for true creation in the framework of our lives, to get the
image and the feeling clear, and finally, to deal with the resistance effectively and constructively
when it arises.

Technique: Empowered Vision to Action

1. Find a space where you can think without being disturbed.

You’ll want to have some writing material with you. It’s time to think about what you really
want. What are your values? What do you want your life to feel like? Write down the
things you want. Be clear, and specific. Go for the things that really make a difference in
your life. Go to the core, and get a list of the three to five things that you want most.

2. Consider the list. Think about each thing and ask yourself why you want them. What will they do
for you?

If it’s a big, luxurious house, is it because this house gives you a sense of security and
comfort? If it’s a relationship, are you after acceptance? Sexual connection? Security?
Meaningful connection and communication? Afraid of being alone?

No judgment. It is what it is. But, if you see that your values and motivations for seeking
these things can be approached in a different way, consider reframing this desire to address
your need more effectively. Make the things on your list those that you can accomplish
through your own efforts, rather than depending upon the actions or emotions of others.
Refine the list until you have a clear set of goals that you can work towards through your
own efforts.

3. Once you have completed and refined the list, take a moment to look over it. Visualize your life
with these conditions fulfilled. See it as clearly as possible. Feel it. Satisfaction, peace, inspiration,
happiness, acceptance. Visualize yourself there, and soak in what it feels like to be there.

Let your imagination fill in some of the details, making you approach to these things clearer.
Even simply knowing the first step, or some of the steps along the way, will help to focus
your activities. Let yourself hang suspended in the visioning process for as long as possible,
paying special attention to the feeling. Feeling is the language of the world and the engine
 to manifestation. Vision without feeling is imagination. Vision with feeling is creation. Be
there with all of your self. Keep this feeling clear and close to your heart, and remember
what it feels like.

4. In moving forward from this point, keep the list with you. Take a moment each day to check in
with the feeling of your life as you want it to be. Evaluate each choice on the basis of your list. Will it
get you closer to your chosen goals? If so, then your actions are in alignment with what you want to
create. If not, then decide if this is how you truly wish to spend your energy.

If you find that there are things that you regularly spend time and energy on that do not
serve your goals, perhaps it’s time to reconsider. Are these your true goals? Are they what
you really want, or what you think you should want? And if they are true and right, then
how do you get into alignment? How do you stop working against yourself? Take actions
ach day that move you towards your desired end. Even a millimeter a day will get you there
in time. But aimless and scattered activity will leave you running in circles, no matter how
fast you go. Take action towards what you really want. And, if necessary, correct course
along the way.

One of the most important part of all of this is to hold the feeling, the vibration, that you want to
have in your life. This, once again, is the language the world speaks. And it’s where most of the
popular information on manifestation falls short. You have to hold the vibration you want more of
in your life. Don’t wait to get that new thing before you allow yourself to be happy, secure,
confident, accepted, etc. Learn the feeling, and start to hold it. Make the choice to return to the
feeling again and again. And you’ll find that the world will shift, perhaps drastically, perhaps
imperceptibly, towards conditions that make that feeling stronger and easier to hold.

There are a few other stumbling blocks that interfere with manifestation. The first is that the world
speaks in the language of feeling and vibration. This means that you aren’t manifesting a specific
external condition. Not that car, or that house, or that job, or that person in your life. You are
manifesting an external condition that addresses the feeling. Let go of how it looks, or how the
world decides to meet you there. Let it be however it wants to be, knowing that the manifestation is
creating a situation that resonates with the feeling in the highest and best way.

Another way that this can block us is if our feeling is out of alignment with what we wish to manifest.
This means, if you’re trying to manifest abundance from a place of fear, you’ll manifest a situation
where you have to be fearful about abundance. Vision provides the focus, but emotion provides the
force and context. The key is mastering the feeling. Once the feeling is right, once you have moved
past the need for external conditions create that feeling for you, then you can manifest those
conditions in your outer life. This clears the biggest inner block that keeps you from real
manifestation.

It’s a bit of a catch-22. You don’t get what you want. Because want means lack. And lack of
acceptance about that lack. “Want” means “I don’t have this, and I’m not comfortable with that.”
Accept where you are, learn the feeling you want to create more of, and make a practice of
broadcasting that feeling out into the world. And it’s easy to say this, but the feelings are wild and
untamed aspects of our lives, so it takes a bit of work to address them fully. It takes a bit of
exploration of our subconscious emotions, and a willingness to go places that the conscious mind
would prefer to ignore altogether. This is vital, because the part of our being that is in charge of
manifestation is in the threshold between the conscious and subconscious minds. This will be
addressed more in the following chapter.
The final bit, and one that I’ve emphasized pretty heavily in this chapter, is the need to take action.
Energy is not something that lies outside of the physical realm. Energy and matter are all one.
Energy flows where attention goes. And our actions are clear and powerful expressions of our
energy. If we are spending a bit of time with wishful thinking and visioning on the one hand and
then taking action doing things that support something entirely different, the balance of our energy
is not aligned with our manifestation. The key is to commit, fully, and on every level of your being,
to what you wish to bring into your life. Including taking action on every level that you can. The
beauty is that, once you do this, the entire world conspires to support your creation.
 Chapter 18
Exploring Resistance

Somewhere along the way, in setting intentions and working towards them in our lives, we’ll
encounter resistance. Sometimes this resistance comes from external factors, such as a lack of time,
money, or opportunity, and sometimes it comes from within. And even then, it arises from a
number of different places. We find ourselves holding back due to fear, or lack of confidence,
motivation, energy, or direction. The biggest obstacles, when you come right down to it, are fear
and stories. And though it might be easier to blame our inability to get started or change our
experience on outside things, if you look closely with an open mind and an insistence upon utter
self-honesty, even the outside factors boil down to things inside of us. Ways that we feel and ways
that we think.

We each have beliefs about how the world works, about what we can expect from it, and how we
have to operate within it. We have expectations as to what will work for us and what won’t how it
has to be done, and what we have to do before we can do what we really want. And all of these
things conspire to block us, to pull the rug out from under our feet before we even get started. The
most liberating thing we can do is to start looking at these things. To bring them out of the
subconscious and into the light of awareness, where we can choose what to do about them.

This is one of the most beautiful things about working towards things in the outer world. The
biggest and most transformative journey for each of us is within. But, in setting intentions and
working towards them, we start to see what’s really holding us back. And it usually isn’t other
people or our circumstances. Which is great, because when the source of our blockage is ourselves,
then we have the power to do something about it. Our efforts in the outer world, in light of the
inner journey, serve to make us accountable for the things within that we prefer not to see, and do
our best not to look at. Once we begin to see things in this light, a world of possibility opens up
before us.

The key to getting started on this path is to understand that the things we resist or deny actually
become stronger in our experience. When we say “I don’t want to think about that” about anything
in particular, we actually assign unconscious energy to it. There’s a charge attached to it, and this
charge operates from the subconscious in many ways. It actually creates a constant pressure
towards the creation of that experience in our lives.

Have you ever had something that you want to do, but things just kept getting in the way? Other
stuff just keeps popping up and before you know it, months have gone by without making any
headway. If you have, then you’ve felt the influence of resistance in your life. We never realize that
we’re procrastinating. It always feels completely reasonable to focus on the other things. Or we do
know, but there’s enough pressure from within to keep us from looking at it too closely. We can
stay in these cycles for weeks, months, or years. Thankfully, though, if we are willing to explore this
resistance head-on, we step into a place where it can either be transformed, or we can listen to the
message that it has for us.

The key is to explore the resistance without dwelling upon it. To find that fine line between making
a story that justifies our inability to chance, and keeping it hidden within the subconscious.
Resistance is an emotional factor bound to a story, and it can be transformed in much the same way
that we can address triggers when they arise. Before getting into the technique, one final note: I’ve
emphasized the power of story many times when sharing these techniques. And it as such an impact
upon our lives, that I will need to write another book to even begin to do it justice. But for the
moment, remember that our stories frame our experience. They direct our energies by showing us
what we think will work and what won’t. They block off certain avenues, while directing our
attention down others. And, at the core, no story is True. They are just ways of explaining the world
and how we fit within it. Some stories have value for us, so they don’t all need to be rooted out
indiscriminately. But, the value of a story is the fruit that it bears. If your story is telling you that you
have to continue doing something that you hate, because that’s how the world works, then all it’s
doing is keeping you stuck in a world that you don’t enjoy. The same goes for stories like
“relationships never work for me,” or “I always get hurt.” Or, “I can’t (fill in the blank) until…”

The greatest freedom we can give ourselves is to recognize that our stories are choices. And that we
can make different choices if the one’s we’ve made so far aren’t working for us. After that, it’s all
about seeing how to move towards a life that’s better and better for us as we go along.

Technique: What if?

1. Find your thinking spot and get comfortable.

For this exercise, it’s better if you can be comfortable enough to meditate, but not enough
to fall asleep. This is an exercise in contemplation. A chance to look inside and feel your
way through whatever blockages have arisen. It’s a freeform exercise, so get in a space
where you can allow your visualization to lead you wherever you need to go.

2. Consider your intention. Visualize bringing it to pass. See it with as much clarity as possible.

How does it feel? Distant or close? Comfortable or unsettling? Tuning in to the

feeling will help you to see where the block is coming from. If it feels distant, you’re
working with a lack of faith that you can bring this situation into your experience. If
it feels unsettling, then there is something about the situation that doesn’t sit right
with you, some factor you hadn’t considered. Allow the feeling to come fully into
focus without suppressing or rejecting it.

3. The track of the exercise now depends upon the nature of the blockage:

Fear: If you have a fear that your intention won’t happen, like in cases of manifesting
abundance or love, but fearing a lack of abundance or the lack of a love entering your life,
then allow yourself to explore what your life would be like if that fear were true. See the
opposite of what you intend to create. Visualize it as clearly as you visualized your intention.
Let yourself be in the situation. And make friends with it.

Allow yourself to accept this situation. Allow yourself to face this fear, and see yourself
moving past it, making the most of your situation however it might turn out. By doing this,
you eliminate the unconscious pressure against your manifestation. Sit with this, and let the
charge expire naturally. And then, having moved past the fear, look at what you can do
from where you are now to work towards your intentions on the physical level. Step
forward with faith and acceptance, taking action in the ways that you can.

Distance: If the visualization feels distant, then it is hard for you to believe that you can do
it, or difficult to see how it can be done. Perhaps you feel that you don’t have enough
money, training, power, or influence to bring what you wish into being. Or that you need
some miraculous assistance in order to make it happen.
 First, explore. Ask yourself why your intention feels unreachable. Is it a story? Do you
believe that this just isn’t how things work? And why not? Is it worth a try? Visualize a
world in which your intentions might be possible. What things would have to be in place for
this to happen? What actions can you take, within your own power, and not dependent
upon the big break or the actions of others, to work towards the intention in a clear and
decisive way. Visualize the first steps of a plan, with as much clarity as you can manage.
Don’t worry about the whole plan. We always have to correct course along the way. But if
you commit yourself, mind and body, heart and soul, to your desired outcome, then the
world lines up to make amazing things possible.

Unsettledness: If you feel unsettled, then something about the situation just doesn’t feel
right. Once again, ask “why?” Sometimes our conscious minds want things that our
subconscious minds don’t. This means we’re overlooking something, some need that the
subconscious is aware of and that our conscious mind has overlooked. Or, in some cases, it
means that we are subconsciously programmed with limiting beliefs that interfere with the
achievement of our intentions. What is the worst thing that would happen if this situation
were to be real? Feel yourself there. Look for the downside, for the secret fear or
resistance that is the source of the dissonance.

Perhaps you wish for abundance, but a part of you feels that money is somehow dirty or
unspiritual. Or, perhaps you wish to be in a meaningful relationship, but a part of you feels
that opening yourself up to such a connection means getting hurt. Allow this to come into
the light of your consciousness, whatever it is. It may be that, deep down, you don’t really
want what you think you did. If you find that out, then you have saved valuable time and
energy. Go back to the drawing board, and sort out what you truly want to devote your
precious time and energy to bringing into your life. In the case of subconscious programs,
the solution is a bit trickier.

An easy approach to these blockages is to find a theta healer in your area. This healing
modality is especially suited to rooting out limiting belief systems and replacing them with
healthy programs. If, however, you wish to work through these things on your own, here is
a brief technique borrowed from theta healing:

Technique: Replacing Limiting Belief Systems

1. Identify the limiting belief system, and decide which belief you would like to replace it.

2. Enter a light meditative state.

3. Focus on your heart center, the point in the center of your chest.

4. Feel/visualize a line of energy connecting this center with the center of the earth and anchoring
there.

5. Feel/visualize this energy rising up the line of energy, in through your feet, through your legs,
through your spine to the top of your head.

6. Visualize this energy rising above your head in a golden orb of consciousness, rising through the
atmosphere, through to the edge of the universe, and beyond.

7. Visualize passing through a series of bright lights, and then through a long space of darkness
followed by a long space of beautiful white light.
8. Visualize passing next through a multicolored jelly-like substance.

9. Follow the pink color as it leads you to a doorway, through which you see an iridescent white light.

10. Enter into this light, and feel it surrounding and penetrating your being, soaking though you and
embracing you.

11. Now, issue your command “Creator of all that is, on the seventh plane of existence, I command
that the belief system that (what you have identified) be cancelled on the core, genetic, and soul
levels, resolved on the history level, and replaced with (the healthy program you have chosen).
Thank you. It is done. It is done. It is done. Show me.”

12. Observe what occurs with your energy, with as much clarity as possible, allowing the shift to
reach its completion.

13. Descend back through the levels, through the body, and down to the earth’s core, and then
ascend once again through the earth, through your body, and to the crown of your head. Visualize
this same iridescent white light cleansing you during your journey.

This technique is far more advanced than most that I have include in this book. Theta healing is a
beautiful and powerful healing modality, and there are a number of details that would require a
book in themselves to explain. There is information available, and fortunately, it is becoming easier
all the time to find a qualified theta healer near you. If the blockages you are facing are serious, or if
they result from trauma in your early experience, then it’s best to work with these systems under
the care of an experienced practitioner. The training includes instruction on the identification of
belief systems, muscle testing to verify that they are influencing our experience, and exploration to
find what gifts these beliefs are giving us. The replacement of belief systems without full
understanding of what they are connected to in our motivational structure can be ineffective or
have undesirable effects.

A final detail: If you are uncertain as to what belief system should replace the one you have
identified, then you can request that the unhealthy program be replaced with one of the Creator’s
choosing.
 Chapter 19
Reading the World

Everything we experience has a lesson for us, some little piece of gold that we can take on and learn
from. Sometimes these lessons come in pretty unmistakeable packages. The job loss. The car
accident. That point when we find out that our intuition was right all along, even though we hadn’t
been listening to it. But sometimes they come in in subtle forms. A sign on the side of the road that
seems like a message just for us. That timely Facebook post that deals with exactly the issue we’ve
been struggling with. Or the subject that came up three times in three unrelated conversations
(without us moving the discussion in that direction).

As soon as we start paying attention, we begin to notice that the world seems to be speaking directly
to us. We can pass it off as coincidence, think we’re just imagining things, or overlook it altogether.
But in listening to these messages, we receive valuable and powerful insight. A bit of wisdom
beyond what we normally have access to, tuned perfectly to the situation at hand.

We could go into reasons for this, like synchronicity, Divine Guidance, even the quantum nature of
the universe. But when it comes right down to it, it doesn’t matter why it happens. All that matters
is that it does. If we keep open and pay attention, the world sends out signals and messages that
point us in the right direction. These signals might help us to make that turn we had no reason to
make that leads us to bumping into a friend. We might get a little reminder to call the person we
might not have thought about calling and find out that we reached out at exactly the right time. We
might stop into that café for no logical reason and run into a new opportunity, in one form or
another. Or we might just get a bit of insight on whatever we happen to be dealing with in the
moment.

Every one of us has experienced situations like this. For many they are few and far between, and the
reason is that we get so focused on what we think we’re doing that we don’t stop to listen. Or look.
And, in our uber-rational society, only the superstitious few are willing to accept that the world
might relate personally to them in any way outside of our plans and intentions.

People have recognized signs and portents, signals in the world that give indication of things to
come, in every society throughout history. And just the fact that we have the concept of luck shows
that there is the hidden belief even in our own society that the world relates to us on a personal
level. Maybe we have outgrown such silly and superstitious beliefs. But, just maybe, we have come
to the point where we begin to see that not all of those ideas were so silly. It just might be that the
world is speaking to us, and that, if we learn to listen, we can receive beautiful and pointed guidance
along the way.

Along the course of history, we have investigated nearly every aspect of the world and assigned
meaning to it. Or discovered meaning in it. Numbers, colors, stars and planets, stones, trees, and
animals. Each thing we encounter has a symbolic meaning. And the timing that directs our
encounters with these symbols seems a bit too coincidental to be coincidence.

There’s something to this. The subconscious mind speaks in the language of symbol. The conscious
mind is normally a bit more in the camp of logic and rationality, but it also has the capacity to take
these symbols on and understand them. Metaphor is one of the bridges between the self that we
know and the deeper self that’s linked more directly to everything that happens around us.
Visualization uses this language of symbol to direct the subconscious mind with the conscious.
Reading the world is the same thing in reverse.
These messages might simply be projections, meanings we assign to the things we experience. But,
once again, it doesn’t matter. Just think of the Rorschach test. You know, the one with the inkblots.
This test is a tool for psychological analysis. People are shown pieces of paper with blots of ink in
random shapes on them. They’re asked to describe what they see, to turn the indistinct shape into
the first image that comes to mind. And the things that people see are related to what’s happening
in their subconscious. We see what we are tuned in to. In the process of exploring the images that
spring to mind, we can begin to map out the topics that have a specific charge for us, those that
need to be investigated a little bit deeper with the conscious mind.

The same thing happens when we pay attention to the world around us. The things that our
attention catches upon, those that it selects out of the countless impressions that surround us in
every moment, are the ones that resonate with our subconscious mind. Those that tell us things
that we don’t realize that we know. We focus on the details that are relevant to us. The ones that
have messages for us.

Some people can take this a step too far. They get trapped in indecision, wondering what the world
is trying to tell them, second guess themselves, or read into everything they see so much that it
crowds out critical thought. The key is balance. Keeping open to the messages we receive from the
world is beautiful when we also consider what we truly want and how we can use what we have to
move towards the achievement of these goals. Watch out for ideas like “maybe I’m just not
supposed to have this,” or “maybe I’m meant to be alone for the rest of my life.” There are lots of
thoughts like these that can come in. “This is how my luck always runs.” “I should have known
better than to trust.” “This always happens to me.” These are just more stories, and they can stop
us from taking an empowered stance in our own experience. They don’t serve us.

The best approach that I have found so far is to be very clear about what I’m trying to accomplish, to
set the goals and work towards them in a tangible way. And to keep open to the things I experience
along the way. When I can keep this balance, I get pointers that help me out in moving forward,
things that I might have overlooked or might never even thought of. And, at the same time, I can
decide clearly, take responsibility for the choices that I’ve made, and learn from both the successes
and the failures. This is the journey of a lifetime for each of us.

The key here is to keep our eyes open to the things we notice along the way, and take things lightly
at the same time. And it’s a practice. This isn’t the sort of thing that flicks like a light switch. We
have to learn to pay attention, to listen with eyes and ears to the world around us. Even to the
things that we might not have thought would have any relevance to our intentions. The more we
can open up and receive impressions from the world, the more capacity we have to interpret the
messages we get along the way.

• • •

Practice: Seeing the Signs

There really isn’t any technique to this. It’s just about paying a bit more attention along the way.
Something that might help, though, is to make a habit of keeping a journal with you. If you notice
anything that strikes you, simply jot it down. This might be a few numbers that keep repeating, like
times or numbers on a license plate. They might be specific creatures you encounter. Something as
simple as a frog in the bathroom or garden. Signs or billboards that stand out to you. References
that are made in conversation that seem to resonate for an unknown reason. Anything that comes
up, record it.
The next part of this is to take a bit of time each day to reflect on what you have observed. See if it
spoke to you about your journey through the day, about your way forward. If anything in particular
seems connected, then right a sentence or two that highlights the connection. Or more, if you wish.
If the things that have popped up are animals or numbers, there are a number of sites online that
will explore the meanings of these things on a symbolic level. You may be surprised how relevant
the things you have chosen to record are to your current situation.

After a while, this will become automatic. You start to notice a little bit more of the world around
you, which is a blessing in itself. And you may recognize patterns or observations that repeatedly
enter your experience. Those are usually messages that are clamouring for our notice. There’s no
need to reach for the connection or read too much into things. It will either speak to you or it won’t,
and it’s fine either way. And regardless of what you do encounter, keep a clear and balanced
approach to the signals you receive. This way they will help to clear up confusion and provide
direction, rather than doing the opposite.
 Chapter 20
Personal Power: Boundaries and Sovereign Space

No one can make us do anything or feel any way at all.

At the same time, we all have the experience of being forced to take certain actions. Doing things
because we have to, on one level or another. Doing what others expect of us, or having to
compromise our desires because of “what works” or “what’s realistic.” Sometimes we feel like we
have no choice. Others have made the choice for us, or the circumstances of life require us to take
certain actions. We’ve also had times when someone makes us angry, or their words or actions
make us sad. Or when the world takes a turn and we become afraid.

How do these experiences fit in with the idea that no one can force us to feel a certain way or take a
specific action? Why does it happen?

This is where the concept of personal power comes in. We are each sovereign over our body, our
thoughts, our emotions, and our actions. We each have power over our own energy, in all of its
manifestations. Personal power is knowing that we choose where to put this energy. Knowing that
we determine our own thoughts, emotions, that we choose what to do with our body and which
actions we will take. This power is ours, but we give it away to others in all sorts of subtle ways.
Part of the experience of becoming empowered in our lives is recognizing where we have chosen to
give our power away and understanding why.

But how does this happen? And what does that really mean?

Let’s start with the emotional side. When we are centered in ourselves, grounded, when we accept
ourselves completely as we are, then other people can have any opinions they want, and it doesn’t
change how we feel about ourselves. But if we are uncertain, if we are insecure and look to others
for acceptance, love, security, confirmation of our worth, or validation of our choices, then we give
those others power over us. If we need someone in our lives in order to feel ok, or need that other
to approve or agree with us, then we are dependent upon their agreement or acceptance. We give
power over our emotional wellbeing or self-determination away to others when we feel that we
need their support. When we attempt to earn their love or acceptance.

The same thing happens on the material level. How many of you have had the experience of
agreeing to do something that you didn’t want to do, just because it kept you safe? Like doing what
your boss asks because you didn’t want to lose your job? Or keeping your true thoughts to yourself
because speaking up would endanger your security in some way? Even choosing to take a job that
we hate is an example of giving our power away. Choosing to spend our energy in ways that don’t fit
our true desires or values, just to make sure we can ensure that our needs are met. Just so that we
can have security. There are times when this is necessary and healthy for us, but they are far fewer
than we might expect.

The loss of personal power happens in a number of even subtler ways as well. How about when
someone tells you do this, or this will happen? This can come from parents, friends, family,
employers, co-workers, acquaintances, even teachers or coaches. In fact, we get statements like this
from pretty much everyone in our lives, all the time. This is how you have to do it. This is how
things are done. This is the real world. Sometimes these bits of advice are helpful. They can be
stories that fit our lives and help us to see how to approach our situation effectively. Sometimes
these stories don’t work for us, and we believe them anyway. When we believe a story about how
life has to work for us, we give our free will, our personal power, away to that story.

I hope it’s evident by now that this is not always a bad thing. Our personal power is moderated by
agreements, by contracts to feel, think, or behave in a certain way. These agreements are part of
the fabric of society and human interaction. We make agreements in order to live in society, in
partnership, and in family. To live and work with others, share our burdens and the fruits of our
labors, and to collaborate within a given framework. To unite with others in a common approach to
the world. These agreements only become an issue when we make them unconsciously, without
recognizing that there is a choice involved.

Another way of understanding this process is through the lens of boundaries. Boundaries are limits
that we set on what kind of treatment we will accept from others. They are a way of safeguarding
our personal power, drawing lines to define our own responsibilities and the expectations we have
for others in our interactions with them. When our boundaries are healthy, we know what we are
willing to give and lend to others and how we will allow our personal space, privacy, and bodies to
be treated. We take responsibility for our own emotional balance, and allow others to be
responsible for their own. We understand the balance between being open minded, and allowing
others to determine how we think about the world.

There are times that we blur our boundaries and give our power away, or when we take advantage
of the blurred boundaries of others. We form unhealthy agreements the give our power away
without addressing our needs, or that abuse the power others have given to us. The core of these
losses or abuses of power is need.

When we need things from others, whether from individuals, groups, society, or the world in general,
we give away our power or energy in an attempt to meet these needs.

And, in order to redress this lack, we often levy expectations or demands upon others, taking their
power in order to fill the needs we have left unmet. All of these agreements are entered into with
consent between both parties, though this consent is often unconscious. Being unaware of our own
power or energy unaware of our capacity to meet our own needs, we sometimes become
dependent upon others, consenting to unhealthy limitation of our freedom and will.

Codependence is a perfect example of a situation when the balance of agreements has become
unhealthy, and when it no longer serves us. In a codependent relationship, one person feels that
they need the other in order to be happy, safe, secure, to be ok on some level or another. This
excessive need causes the one in need to blur their boundaries and compromise their values. They
will accept treatment that they would never accept otherwise. The codependent partner will
neglect their own needs in order to satisfy the desires of their partner. Always in the hopes that this
display of love will encourage the other to make sure the codependent individuals needs are met.

Each relationship is a reflection, and each is a two-way street. We connect with people who have
similar levels of awareness around their personal power and their boundaries. And, in the case of
codependent relationships, boundary issues and mishandling of personal power are present in both
parties. Remember that we always consent to losses of power, though we may do so unconsciously,
following patterns that have been impressed upon us in our youth. This type of relationship usually
ends up causing problems. And the reason is simple. No one understands your needs as well as you
do. No one else can work as effectively to ensure those needs are met. Healthy relationships are
possible when each party takes responsibility for their own needs. When each person recognizes
their boundaries and communicates their limits clearly. And when each respects the needs and
boundaries of the other, allowing them to approach life as they best see fit.

This applies equally to friendships, to the relationship between employer and employee, and to the
family dynamic. If we depend upon others for the fulfilment of our physical and emotional needs,
we often find ourselves in situations where our boundaries are crossed. We have given our power
away. And if we need others to behave a certain way for us to be comfortable, for our physical or
emotional needs to be met, then we then we tend to levy expectations and demands upon them.
Sometimes without even realizing it. In order to return to a healthy balance, we have to know what
our needs are, and we have to be willing to take responsibility for both our needs and boundaries.
The first part of this means being conscious of the agreements that we enter, and to recognize that
every agreement, every instance of sharing power or giving it away, is a choice.

Do you have to please your parents? Your partner? Your friends? Your employer? What would
happen if you didn’t?

If you took some time to think about those questions, then you can see what holds you in the
agreements you have made. You see the reason that you have given your power away in each of
these instances that applies to you. We give our power away because we cannot accept the
alternative.

Let’s use a really extreme case. Someone holds a gun to your head and says “Do this or else…” Do
you have to do it? Some might say yes. Because the alternative, at least seemingly, is death. And
this is an alternative that we cannot, in most cases, accept. In this case, many people would do
whatever was asked of them by the person holding the gun. Because they are unwilling to accept
death, they give their power, their free will, away to the person threatening them. Now, if you were
unafraid of death and unwilling to give your power away in any circumstance, then the person
holding the gun couldn’t force you to do anything. The choice to give your power away is yours and
yours alone. Regardless of the consequences involved.

Most situations we experience in life aren’t as obvious as this. We might follow the expectations of
our family or parents because we know that they would not approve of our choices, would not
accept us otherwise. We do the same thing, on a subtler level, with friends. Saying things that we
think others will accept or approve of. Choosing sides and getting upset at someone that they are
angry with. We do this because, deep down, we are afraid that they won’t accept us otherwise. The
same thing can happen in intimate relationships. We do things that we think our spouse or partner
will accept, things that will please them. Because we are afraid of being rejected, abandoned, or
unloved. And with employers, the threat is one of poverty, the loss of material security. In each
situation, we give our power away because we are unwilling to accept the alternative. And then we
fool ourselves into thinking that we didn’t have a choice.

We always have a choice.

The first step in taking our power back is becoming aware of the choices we make and
understanding that these choices. It’s a process of recognizing the agreements we enter into with
others and the exchange of power created by these agreements. The second step is facing our fear.
Would you really die of starvation if you lost that job? Would you really be all alone if you did and
said what you really think instead of catering to your friends? Would you really be alone and
unloved if you did what made you happy and made you feel alive instead of neglecting your needs
for your partner? If you took actions that your family didn’t approve of?
No matter where we end up, there’s always a way forward. There’s always a road, and we can make
it work for us. Or agreements are a way of obtaining security, getting a measure of protection
against our fears. It’s never an easy thing to overcome fear, but in reality, security is an illusion. It’s
a story. Sometimes this story sometimes serves us, but it often just keeps us trapped living in a
situation that we don’t really want to be in. If we want to be free and empowered in our
interactions, we have to see each agreement as a choice, and make our peace with the alternative.

We use agreements to get security.

We use them to create the illusion that our needs will be met by met by a particular interaction. So,
what is the alternative? Basically, it’s taking responsibility for meeting our needs through our own
efforts. Which means we have to know what our needs are, and explore how we can work with
what we have to address them. This allows us to step into a place of power in our lives, and to
choose our connections with others with awareness. It frees us from the needs to be or act a certain
way in order to feel safe, loved, accepted, or secure. And it allows us to see our interactions with
others more clearly, to recognise the healthy connections and the toxic ties.

All of these things can be understood in terms of energy. We are sovereign over our energy. This
means that we choose where to put our attention, our action, our will, and our belief. Each of these
things is a different vibration of our energy. Many of us are already familiar with the term aura. Our
aura is a field of energy that surrounds our physical body. Our connections with others can be seen
as links between their energy field and our own.

Some of these links are healthy and natural. These links correspond to agreements that we have
made, either explicitly or implicitly, with the people in our lives. Some of these agreements are
based upon mutual love and respect. And some are formed of fear and use. Links that have
expectations or demands associated with them, energetic chains that pull us to behave in certain
ways for the benefit of others, are sources of power loss. We become stronger and more
empowered when we cut these links, both energetically and through our actions. When we become
aware of our boundaries, communicate our limits clearly, and stop giving our energy away to others.

Our boundaries can also be understood in energetic terms. Our boundaries are the ways that we
defend our energy field. Those times that we say no, or that we refuse to act, speak, think or feel
the way that others encourage or expect us to. Handling our boundaries means knowing and taking
responsibility for our needs. It also means moving past blame. Any time our boundaries have been
crossed, we have allowed it to happen. We have, on some level, agreed to the exchange of power.
In seeing how we have chosen to give our power away, we also become conscious of how we could
have asserted our boundary and retained our power.

In understanding our boundaries and becoming aware of our personal power, we learn positive
selfishness. We learn when to say “no,” and when it serves us to say “yes.” We start to see the
difference between healthy relationships and toxic ties. And we learn how to renegotiate unhealthy
agreements or release toxic links from our energy and from our lives. We learn how to ensure that
our needs are met, so that we are able to help others without draining ourselves or being taken
advantage of. And we also learn how to respect others, to honor their own free will, boundaries and
power.

In the beginning of this journey, many people fear that they will lose the relationships important to
them if they assert their boundaries or take their power back. And, if we have a number of
unhealthy relationships in our lives, then we might have to let some of these connections go in order
to return to a place of power. At the same time, we open the door for the healthiest, most
meaningful connections we can experience in our lives. Connections that we enter consciously and
by choice, and that honor both ourselves and the other. Personal power is real freedom. It involves
an awareness of our energy, a choice as to how this energy is handled with relation to others and
the world, and a willingness to make these choices in a way that honors ourselves and our relations.

Technique: Energy Awareness and Cutting Ties

1. Find a space where you can sit down and meditate without being disturbed.

For this exercise, it’s best to find a place in nature, away from the routines and distractions
of the home or workplace. It this isn’t possible, work with what you can.

2. Focus on your breath and your body, feeling energy enter on the inhalation and allowing the body
to relax further with each exhalation.

Let the mind focus on the track of the breathing, bringing it into the present moment,
releasing any concerns of past or future. Just for right now. Slow and soften the breathing,
deepen the state of relaxation in the body. It might be helpful to count down, using the
count to focus the mind and set the stage.

3. Keeping focused on the breath, tune in to the physical sensations of your body, allowing them to
fill your consciousness.

I find it helpful to take it one part at a time, bringing the awareness first into the feet. Then
up into the legs, hips, belly, chest, arms, throat and neck, and finally the face. Bring the
awareness through every part of the body, and then try to feel it as a whole, taking all the
feelings in at once without focusing on any one in particular. See if you can open up to the
feeling, rather than exerting any effort to tune in. Allowing, instead of trying too hard.

4. Now bring your attention into the bubble of space that surrounds your body. Observe how it feels
to be aware of this space, how the space feels.

For this, I usually visualize a sphere around me, the edge maybe an arm’s length away from
my body. Feel into the space with your awareness. Some parts may feel clear and flowing.
The attention passes through them without resistance or ‘sticking.’ Other areas in the
sphere might magnetically attract your attention, might feel a bit dense or heavy, or might
be evasive, like your attention want to slide away from them to other areas. This is your
personal space, the closest region of your personal power.

Sometimes this is difficult for people. We may say “I think I feel something, but it might just
be my imagination.” Trust the first impression. Working in this way uses different parts of
the consciousness than we are accustomed to. It is a shamanic exercise that uses the
imagination as a faculty of perception.

5. Now allow yourself to consider an interaction in your life that has been causing you stress, pain,
difficulty, or tension. Perhaps one that has made you feel trapped or confused. Let it fill your mind,
and feel into your field at the same time.

This may be a friend, co-worker, family member, or partner, a parent or child, brother or
sister. Allow your connection with that person to enter your consciousness. Feel into your
space, noticing any changes in quality of the feeling, any areas that become tense or
‘magnetic’ to your awareness. Notice where the link is connected to your field and any
sensations that accompany it.
6. Notice the emotions that come with this connection. See the interaction in your mind’s eye as a
link, an exchange of power. What need does it address? What are you getting out of the
connection? What are they getting out of it?

Observe the exchange, visualizing it as an energetic link between your field and theirs.
Visualize the dynamic that the link creates, the agreement the shapes your interaction with
this person. Allow yourself to see where you have given your power away. What need, fear,
or resentment holds you in this agreement? What could you do differently in order to step
out of it? Or to change your interaction with them so that it is on healthier ground? How
could you take responsibility for your needs or communicate your boundaries more
effectively?

7. Remembering that you have chosen this agreement, give thanks to this person for showing you
how to step into your power. Forgive them, and accept them as they are. Picture what you can do in
this interaction to move it onto healthier ground. Or to let it go if that is what’s necessary.

You are the piece that you can move in this game. Don’t wait for the other person to
change. And don’t try to make it happen. Simply acknowledge the connection as it is. Open
into gratitude for this person’s lesson in your life, and forgiveness for the difficulty they have
caused you. Feel into the alternative. What can you differently? Are you willing to change
what you can in the interaction? See it as clearly as possible.

8. Feel into your field once again. Feel the connection and visualize the line of energy from your
field. Visualize yourself cutting this cord, reconnecting both ends of it to Spirit, to a source of infinite
love and forgiveness in the realm above.

Energy flows where attention goes. As we focus our attention on severing this cord, our
energy follows this intention. Any specifics you feel inclined to include as to how you sever
it will strengthen the visualization and the effect that it produces. You might, for example,
visualize a pair of scissors made of light, seeing yourself use them to cut the cord.

One of the keys here is the feeling. First, try to connect with a sense of willingness to release
the interaction that has no longer served you. Second, bring in a feeling of grace and
gratitude for the lesson it has taught you, rather than resentment, blame, or bitterness.

9. After cutting the cord, make a personal affirmation as to how you will follow through physically,
with your actions, words, or choices.

All of the exercises offered in this book help to create the mindset and energetic foundation
for tangible action. For a solid change in your approach to life and your experience of it. At
the same time, none of them will be effective without following through on the material
level. We get results when our mind, heart, actions, and energy are all in alignment.

10. Repeat this exercise with any other interactions that are giving you difficulty.

Sometimes it helps to begin with smaller and less important interactions, and work your way
up to those that are most difficult in your life. This will make it easier to learn graceful
assertiveness, as you’ll begin with those that have less of a charge for you. On the other
hand, it might be necessary to address the central issue first. Everyone is different, so feel
your way through the journey, but watch out for the tendency to avoid the relationships
that create the biggest loss of power in your life. Often the most difficult thing is the thing
that will help us the most.
11. Once you have finished with all of the relationships that come to mind, cleanse your space.

You might wish to visualize a waterfall of light moving through your field, cleansing it of the
residues of your previous encounters. Intention is the key. The visualizations are simply the
language that your conscious mind can use to communicate with your subconscious, with
the part of your mind that conducts and directs the energy of your being.

12. Ground your energy, seeing energetic roots growing into the earth. Bring your awareness up
into your body. When you are ready, open your eyes.

• • •

This exercise is focused specifically on cutting ties to people with whom you have unhealthy or
unbalanced connections. It also helps in another way: it makes us aware of our personal space.
Your personal space is the region of your personal power. Each of us carries this bubble of space
around with us. The size of our space and the quality of the energy within it have a huge impact on
our relations with others. Even though we can’t see our personal space or that of others, we feel it
and respond to it instinctively. Just like our body, we are sovereign over this space. In the next
chapter, we’ll explore how to use the awareness of our personal domain to hold space and create a
specific dynamic in our interactions with others.
 Chapter 21
The Healing Way

At the turn of the Twentieth Century, a man named Emile Coue made an interesting observation.
Coue had been working as an apothecary in France. He found that, when he praised the efficacy of
the medication he gave, the patients tended to recover more quickly. This sparked his curiosity. If
the medication was the same, why would it work better when he told the patients how effective it
was? How could this have any effect at all on the process of recovery?

Coue believed that the power of the unconscious mind must exert and influence on the process of
recovery. He went on to study hypnosis and to explore how he could encourage healing through the
use of suggestion alone. Finding that placing patients in a suggestive state often evoked resistance
to his suggestions, he developed a process of autosuggestion. Autosuggestion left the patients in a
conscious state, but used methods that demonstrated Coue’s principles, essentially that the
imagination is more powerful than the will, that it directs the unconscious mind, and can itself be
directed, if we understand how to work with it. The main underlying principle is that the
unconscious mind has an amazing and unsuspected influence on processes that were thought to be
physical, unable to be influenced on any level but the physical.

Coue used his method of autosuggestion to treat a number of people across the world, and the
effects were profound. Some claim his success rate at 93%, which outstrips the success of modern
treatments by a significant margin. Others claim that his results were short-lived and that the
ailments treated by his method often returned after a period of time. But no one can say that
Coue’s method had no effect on those that he treated. They felt better. If we are to believe the
anecdotes, some were even cured of physical ailments that were beyond the reach of the medicine
of his time.

Coue’s discovery would later be termed the placebo effect, and would become well known in
modern medicine. All current trials for new medication include a control group, or a group of people
who believe that they have received the medication, but have not, and an experimental group, those
who actually have received the new drug or procedure. This is because, in 55-60% of cases, people
actually improve if they believe they have received treatment. Placebos are nearly always 55-60% as
effective as modern treatments, regardless of the style or strength of the treatment tested.

This creates a bit of controversy in the medical community even now. Some claim that the placebo
effect is nothing more than a nuisance, a human x-factor that interferes with the testing of new
medication. Others see it as a hint of what might be possible in treatment, an indication of the
power of the mind in the treatment process. Even the critics of the placebo effect as a form of
treatment in itself are forced to admit that there is something in the treatment process that can
make people feel better, and might even aid in recovery.

So what does all of this really mean? What does it mean for us, in our daily lives?

It means that our attitudes, expectations, rituals, and level of human support and connection have a
clear impact on the healing process. And these expectations, rituals, and levels of human
connection, the components of the placebo effect, only interact with our mental state. Something
beyond the physical and chemical remedies we provide influences our healing.

Our thoughts influence our bodies, shape them, and direct them to grow.
Stress harmfully impacts the system, lowering the immune response, increasing blood pressure, and
flooding the body with toxins. The release of stress can reverse these effects, reducing pain and
speeding the process of recovery. Our mental state has a clear and definite impact on our physical
state. The question then becomes, how far does this influence go? And, how can we take
advantage of it to improve our physical state? How can we use it to heal?

First, meditation in and of itself has been shown to have great benefits on health. These benefits
include the reduction of cortisol, the “stress hormone,” normalized blood pressure, reduced anxiety
and depression, reduced insomnia, lower risk of heart attack and stroke, and improved memory and
cognitive function. That’s just meditation, without directing the mind in any specific way.
Meditation with visualization has proven effective enough in aiding the healing process that it has
been included in the treatment of a number of chronic and life-threatening diseases. This is a way of
using our consciousness with intention, a method that allows us to directly influence the body and
brain chemistry through a purely mental approach.

It goes much deeper than this, though. In order to really understand what’s happening here, we
have to expand our view of the human being. Not just mind and body, but a continuum of energy,
expressed through the densities of physical matter, emotion, the mental realm, and less tangible
energies. Our energy directs the growth, development, and function of the physical body, through
the medium first of our thoughts, and then of emotions. All of the layers work together, as they are
simply different expressions of the same thing, the consciousness that forms our being.

There is really no division between the physical and mental realms: everything is energy.

This is a really exciting thought. Our consciousness governs and directs every aspect of our beings.
There is literally nothing that cannot be influenced. Potentially, we have the capacity to heal
anything. Mind over matter, right?

Not really.

First we have to get a bit more specific about what we mean when we say mind. The conscious mind
is responsible for normal thought. Daily processing and decision making. Ego and identity. It’s our
interface for interacting with the external world. The subconscious mind directs the functions that
we don’t have to think about. It also stores everything we experience with perfect recall and
processes all of this information nearly instantly. The subconscious mind is most closely connected
with the energy of our being. Meditation and visualization are useful tools because they allow the
conscious mind to access the potential of the subconscious mind. They are gateways we can use to
send information over to the parts of us that actually run the show. Autosuggestion, placebo, and
hypnosis also access the subconscious mind, though all in different ways. The real work, in each
case, is done in the subconscious mind.

Have you ever heard of Kirlian photography? It’s a way of taking a picture of your energy field. And,
when there is illness or dysfunction in some part of the body, it shows up as a darkness,
discoloration, or weakness in the image of our field. Another interesting detail about this is that this
shows up before our illness ever manifests physically. This is what we’re working with. Shifting the
energy changes the situation before it manifests. Keeping in good condition energetically reduces
the likelihood that we’ll have to address it as a physical dysfunction.

This also shows a bit more of the link between the physical and the psychological realms. When our
emotions are suppressed and toxic, when our thoughts run in self-limiting or damaging patterns,
then the energy shifts to reflect these patterns. And, given long enough, the physical body shifts to
reflect the energy. Our energy is the linking language of all the aspects of our being. Health is free-
flowing energy. Without disturbance, blockage or obstruction. Which means that our emotions and
our thoughts must be free-flowing and without obstruction to keep our bodies healthy.

There are a few things that make health a bit more complicated than simply wishing it so. First,
remember that all of the aspects of our being, our physical body, emotions, intellect, and the less
tangible aspects of our being, all of them are manifestations of energy. If we try to work with the
subconscious to improve health, but at the same time we take actions that are harmful to our
health, it’s the balance of these energies that creates the final situation. Not mind over matter, but
all aspects working together. The key is to address the equation of health from all angles, rather
than trying to override it with one.

Another tricky aspect of this situation is that the subconscious mind can be a bit slippery to deal
with. Try it. Just believe something that you know isn’t true. Believe, for example, the you have lost
thirty pounds. Or instantly grew an inch taller. Or suddenly had different color eyes.

Can you? Can you really believe that, to the depths of your being?

These may seem like silly examples, but they illustrate the point pretty well. We have a really hard
time un-believing something. The more we have been convinced of it, the harder it is to believe
something else. Belief refers to stories that have worked their way into the subconscious, ways that
we have come to trust that the world works. And many of the stories that have become are
programming run our lives without us even knowing that we believe them.

The subconscious is the part of us that we are unaware of. The conscious mind knows what it thinks,
but often, we are out of congruence with ourselves. For example, we may believe consciously that
we wish to be happy, healthy, or successful. If we have a subconscious program running that says
we don’t deserve it, or that it’s impossible for us to experience these states, then the weight of the
subconscious belief will overcome the influence of the conscious mind. This is what Coue pointed
out with his comparison of imagination and willpower.

Where does all this leave us?

Hopefully, it leaves us in a much more grounded place with respect to healing. We can see the
potential of our meditations, affirmations, and all the techniques that work with the subconscious.
And also see why they sometimes don’t work. We can see what gets in the way.

This actually points to the power of the mind in a much more profound way than we might have
expected. But it also shows that we need to develop a much deeper awareness of our programs and
stories in order to make use of that power. On top of that, health is a whole-package deal. Just
addressing one part of the equation won’t do the trick. We have to take action in our lives, to follow
through with our intentions for health in physical ways that are in alignment with these intentions.

This is one of the reasons that I’ve spent such time on self-acceptance, moving past blame, moving
into vulnerability, and dealing with our triggers before moving into the subject of healing. Emotional
intelligence and clearing is a necessary foundation to get real results from healing work. And the
emotional work will do a great deal of healing all on its own. Sometimes, it’s necessary to take it a
step further. Subconscious programs can be challenging to deal with, but there are some techniques
and methods that work with them extremely well. Theta Healing, in particular, is well suited to
digging through the masks and layers of our consciousness to get at the self-limiting beliefs that
interfere with healing. If you find something difficult to heal or shift, it would be an amazing gift to
yourself to explore what this modality could do for you.
That being said, visualization with intention is extremely powerful. It can help us to recover from
illness, reduce stress, increase the effectiveness of the immune system, and direct the body, through
the energy, to make all manner of beneficial shifts. And it’s really not all that hard. It takes a bit of
time, time spent daily while you are working through whichever ailment you’d like to address. I
won’t recommend using it to the exclusion of traditional medicine, but it can give a significant boost
to any treatment that you receive. Try it, as well, for headaches, colds, migraines, increasing the
rate of healing, or anything else that might be giving you difficulty.

• • •

Technique: Self-Healing

1. Find a place that you can meditate undisturbed. Have a seat, find your center, and focus on the
breath.

You’ll want to sit comfortably, with your spine straight. It’s best to sit on the ground with
legs crossed or in lotus, but if this is a challenge, then being seated in a chair with the feet on
the ground will work as well. You could even lie down for the exercise, though this brings in
the risk of falling asleep. For people new to meditation, it will be best to minimize
distractions, turn off phone, music, etc. Once again, there’s no right or wrong way to do
this, but the more you are able to focus clearly on the meditation, the better that it will work
for you.

2. Breathe into the belly, relaxing the abdomen. See and feel new energy entering you with each
inhalation, and any tension or activity leaving with each exhalation.

For this exercise, a countdown might be very helpful. In order to get into the meditative
space that supports healing, you’ll want to go pretty deep. Counting down from 100, though
it takes a bit of time, is a very powerful way to get as relaxed as necessary. Doing a body
scan, or moving the attention through each part of the body in turn, is also very helpful. The
more time focus, and attention you dedicate to the process, the deeper the effect will be.

3. See and feel yourself growing energetic roots into the ground, connecting with the core of the
Earth. Then bring the awareness up into the body and into the center of the chest.

Don’t force anything, and don’t push. Allow the images to float through the awareness and
imagination, rather than exerting will to fill the mind. Just allow the awareness to drift down
the body, down the legs, through the ground, and down as far as it can go into the Earth.
Once you see/feel the depth, solidity, embrace of the Earth, then bring the attention up,
again through the Earth, through the legs, through the spine, and up into the top of the
head. And, once more, bring it down into your chest, in the heart-space.

4. See and feel your whole body at once, and extend your awareness past your skin into the sphere
of space that surrounds you. Feel the quality of this space, observing it and allowing it to come to a
balance as you do.

Expand your awareness to encompass the entire body, allowing the sphere of energy
localized in the heart-space to grow larger and larger until it surrounds your entire being.
Feel the quality of this space, observing any areas that draw your attention or seem to slide
away from it. Don’t push, just observe. The energy of your space will begin to shift slightly
as you do, balancing naturally.
5. Feel into the area that you would like to heal. Once again, feel the quality of this area or system.
Visualize it as you do, seeing as an adjunct to feeling. Don’t try to change anything, just observe how
it appears to you.

For a headache, the tension will be localized in the head. For a cold, it may be throughout
the entire body, but might also be localized in a particular area like the head or chest. For
sprains, breaks, cuts, or other accidental injuries, you will focus the attention on the site of
the injury. Once again, this is best used in combination with other treatments, rather than
as a substitute for them.

6. As you feel into the area you would like to heal, let any emotions or stories that are connected to
it come up. Simply notice them, at first. Open up to any ideas or feelings connected to the healing
and to the area which needs healing.

The process of allowing and accepting is very important. Things are there, whether we
suppress them or not. At least until we deal with them, until we integrate the energy
associated with these stories and feelings into the light of our conscious being. Pushing
against them or fighting, on any level, actually strengthens what we are trying to shift. Once
you can see something, you can work with it. So, this step of the process opens you up to
anything on the deeper levels that must be addressed.

7. Breathe into the feelings, both physical and emotional. Sit with them. Observe the stories, and
then see the stories happening in a different way. Rewrite the story. Breathe into this new story,
using the breath to bring feelings of joy, peace, love, and acceptance into the space.

This is an art. Each part of our body, each condition that requires haling, is connected to our
thoughts, emotions, and physical body. This process helps to shift the energy on all of these
levels. You may be surprised at the seemingly random thoughts that float through when you
tune in to the area that requires healing. It may seem like distraction, but each thought that
comes up is connected in its own way.

For example, if you are working to speed healing on an injury to the tailbone, you may have
feelings of fear or insecurity come up. You may have thoughts float through of people that
you are connected with and how they don’t accept you. You might have security issues
arise, both on the emotional and practical level. Rewriting the story means interpreting your
experience in a different way. Stepping into a deeper level of faith or acceptance with
regard to your situation. Reinterpreting your experiences so that you are in an empowered
place.

This doesn’t mean changing what you have experienced by imagining that something else
has occurred. Instead, work to change the meaning of that experience. Look into how these
emotions are guiding you towards actions that support your growth. Let go of the fear and
step into a place of faith and acceptance with whatever occurs. And, at the same time, see
this shift in your story work its way into the area which needs healing. Watch the shift
happen on the physical as you rewrite it on the mental, and allow the changing feeling to
shift the emotional level.

8. Just breathe with it, watching the breath reinforce this new story, watching the emotions
connected with the situation to shift along with the story, and observing the feeling and physical
conditions change at the same time.
 This is all about shifting the energetic level to a condition that supports healing. Though
nothing is impossible, don’t expect a miraculous shift in an instant. Instead, allow the shift
to come in its own time. Don’t force anything, but see and feel the new situation on all
levels, and as clearly as possible. The emotional expectations may be the most difficult to
deal with, depending upon the condition. Faith and acceptance are energies that can be
challenging to connect with. But they come, with time and with a willingness to surrender.
Let it be. Open up to gratefulness for what you are able to experience now. See the silver
lining in the cloud, the beautiful lessons offered by whatever situation you encounter in the
moment. And simply observe the body taking on the new shape in response.

9. After you have sat with this, allowing the thoughts, emotions, and vision to become clearer with
each breath, ask what actions you can take in your daily life to support the healing process. Don’t try
for it or figure it out. Just send the question back, and allow the answer to pop up.

This is one of the key aspects as well. Your answer might be something simple, like speaking
an affirmation each day, or taking a bit of time to decompress. Taking some alone time each
day. Resting more. It might involve something that takes a bit more effort, like improving
your diet, giving up a habit that no longer serves you, or changing you pattern of interactions
with others. It may seem unrelated to the issue that you are trying to heal. But, just in
dedicating time and effort to the process, in whatever form has come to you, you will
continue to send the message of healing to the subconscious mind. The deep mind then
directs the energy of your being to encourage haling on whatever level it can.

10. Once you have received your answer, tune in to the space that surrounds you once more. See a
blue light permeating your field, helping to establish this new pattern in your energy and your
subconscious. Cleanse your field, visualizing a white light shining through it and carrying away the
residue of old thoughts and emotions.

The blue and white lights are, in part, symbols, a language that our conscious can use to
interact with the subconscious. They help to release what remains of the old energetic
pattern and reinforce the new pattern in your being. On another level, they are vibrations,
constants woven into the fabric of our energy. There is much more to this: the psychological
impact of colors, the use of colors in healing, and the associations of colors with aspects of
our energy field. Each of these is a topic worth study in its own right, and there is a wealth
of material available for those who wish to pursue it further.

11. Ground once more, sending your awareness into the Earth, and bringing it up into the center of
your chest. Bring your attention back to your surroundings, opening your eyes and preparing to step
forth into the day once more.

In particularly deep meditations such as this one, it helps to reground after the meditative
work is done. This gears the consciousness to re-engage with the waking world. Centering
our awareness in the chest, in the heart-center, balances our consciousness in the space
between activity and openness, tuned in to the energetic, but capable of initiating action
from a clear space.

12. Follow through on the level of action with whatever new behavior came to you as the physical
answer to your situation. Repeat this healing daily as long as you are dealing with the issue you are
trying to heal.
Following through on the level of action devotes further time and energy to the process of
healing. Repeating the meditation helps to reinforce the new subconscious program. It
takes some time to work our energy into unhealthy states, so we must be willing to devote
the same measure of dedication to healing in order to ensure its success. If the shift can be
made deeply and powerfully enough in the subconscious, then it will follow in the body
without fail.
 Afterword
Once upon a time, I was convinced I knew everything. And, as time goes along, I find I know less and
less. This feels good to me, as I am now much happier than I was in those youthful states full of
empty confidence. It can create problems in a work like this, as I look at what I have shared, and it
seems so full of assumptions and ego. The best I can do is give voice to the things that wanted to be
shared, and let the world take it from there.

Once again, I give humblest thanks to all who have taken part in this journey with me, in all the ways
you have accompanied me, through sharing time and learning with me, by reading the words I share,
and in so many other ways. It feels that there is so much more to share, and so much less. I feel
that we all have access to everything we need to know, and in every moment. At the same time, I
have enjoyed and benefited from the books I have encountered. It pleases me greatly to think that
some of the things I have shared may help others along their path, whatever form that help might
take.

I suppose the final thought to share is that I feel I am the only one who can know if something is
right for me. And then only if I am anchored in my feeling sense, my honesty, and my integrity.
Though, once again, I can speak only for myself, I honestly believe that this is true for each person. If
it feels right, if it resonates, if it gives you that inner yes, try it on for size. And take from it what
works for you.

With deepest respect for all the life that shares in this journey of being, I send out gratitude and all
the blessings I have, to you and to all beings.