Option 1

THE WOMAN: See ya boy. She take her staff out the room and walk out

WILLY: Well better get going. I want to get to the school first thing in the morning. Get my

suits out of the closet. Biff doesn’t move. What's the matter, she is a oil massage. I got a

special gift from my boss, Mr Howard and it will expire tomorrow, so I have to use it. BIff

shocking about what he hear from Willy: Biff listen to me, she is just a oil massage that she

work in this hostel. And I didn’t have something with her. I work hard everyday, every year,

and I have to sit in front of the computer from long time, so it makes me feel an ache.

Assuming command: All right? shall we go, go got my suits. Biff move to the bed and take

Willy’s suit to him: Why you looking me like that. You aren’t please or what? I tell you

everything about the woman as I said she just do her work and I’m her customer, so it’s

normal that she has to do work, so what wrong with you? Biff.

BIFF: No, how can I trust you that the woman just a oil massage

WILLY, sit down on the bed: Biff come here. Biff sit next to Willy: listen carefully what I

said, I’m your father, so you have to trust me

BIFF, annoyed what Willy’s said: No, I can’t

WILLY: Listen to what I just said, and Biff you need to go somewhere else?

BIFF: No,No,No! we will not go anywhere.

WILLY:Heh? What! You com here to need help from me and now what happened to you.

Why would not we go---

BIFF, standing up and looing hard at Willy: Dad!

WILLY: Oh, boy calm down

BIFF: Please tell me the truth, please

WILLY: Ok boy, She is a real oil massage and she is nothing to me, I very tired from my

work, so have to get a some massage as well. I have a coupon too

Willy take his coupon out of his jacket

BIFF, take Willy coupon and look carefully: It’s real, the oil massage is real

WILLY: as I said, eveyrthing is true. Why I have to lie to Biff

BIFF: Oh dad, I know now what I should said Dad.

WILLY: Biff, Biff my little boy. It’s okey. everyone should have some mistake.

BIFF: Thank Dad. However, next you should tell me first or ask me to come with you

WILLY: ahahaha, Ok boy next I will invite you as well, but right now we somewhere to go?

BIFF: Yeah, we have to go to school

WILLY: take my suit and go now

Willy and Biff are going out the room and get downstair the hostole. Both of them talking like

a normal that everything happened in the room is not happened before.

Commentary

I choose the scene that Biff come in Willy’s room and saw the woman in him room.

Willy said she is just a buyer, and it makes Biff feel down about what he just saw and after
the event he can’t trust Willy anymore. This scene is an important scene that let Willy kill

himself because Willy thinks that everyone in his family knows about his secret and everyone

is disappointed in himself that he has been doing like this. I change the story from the original

story that Willy tell Biff about the woman is a buyer to an oil massage, so it will make sense

than a buyer because it does not have any buyer will go in the seller room. If the woman is a

buyer and go in the seller room, it will make other people think in one way that she is a

mistress, not a buyer, so I think everything happens by Willy did not think thoroughly,

therefore spoke that she was a buyer. In the original story, Willy has an identity that he easier

get mad to other people. Biff has an identity same as Willy as well but he has a little bit

different from Willy that he is person who is not believe in anything if he didn’t see by

himself or it is not too much evidence. I not only change what Willy tell Biff but I also

change the woman acted as well. The woman isn’t naked and walk, but I change to the

woman take her staff out and walk out Willy woman. She didn’t talk anything to Willy and

Biff, so it will more realistic than before version that she talk Biff and football and not naked

on the hostel. This is not enough to make Biff believe that she is an oil massage because you

can know that Biff is the person that will not believe anything if he didn’t see by himself or

not has evidence. In this case, I add the information that Willy got a special gift from his boss

knows as Mr. Howard. He gets a coupon for a discount an oil massage in this hostel. At the

end of this event, I wrote that Willy show his coupon of oil massage to Biff, but the coupon

isn't used yet. Willy is lying to Biff. The woman in his room is mistress, he is checking on

Linda, but I wrote like this because I want to change about Biff individual that he has to

Willy to be a good individual to each other not like in the old version that both of them are

fighting and Biff don’t trust anymore about Willy, so it makes Willy commit suicide.