Communication and Guidance Skills

Objectives

To equip Career Management Professional with enhanced interpersonal communication & guidance
(IPC&G) skills so that they can employ them during their interactions with clients for increasing the client
satisfaction and contributing to improved quality of career education services.

Employing effective IPC&G skills by Career Management Professional establishes the necessary relationship
of trust and confidence with their clients required for compliance with the provision of services. Good
communication skills are the heart beats of effective career guidance services. The research-based
evidence shows that inappropriate IPC&G skills contribute to decreased client satisfaction.

Communication
Communication is the process of transmitting and receiving information/emotions/views on a particular
topic between two or more people who share the same code (verbal and non-verbal) aimed at reaching a
mutual understanding.

Mutual understanding means whatever idea/information/emotion is encoded by the sender and sent
towards the receiver, the receiver receives and decode that idea/information/emotion almost exactly the
same as sender has sent. For example the sender encodes an idea that "How to spell TREE" and sent it
towards the receiver, the receiver if he decides the idea as "s/he (the sender) needs to spell TREE'' is the
correct decoding and both will reach an understanding of each other condition but if the receiver decodes
it as "s/he (the sender) needs to spell THREE" then both will not reach mutual understanding.
Communication occurs only when the message has been understood and understanding occurs in the mind
of the receiver. Therefore, feedback is critical to ensure that accurate understanding of the message has
occurred.

Interpersonal Communication (IPC)

Person-to-person communication, verbal and non-verbal exchange that involves sharing information and
feelings between individuals or in a small group. It is face to face, and all parties involved are senders and
receivers at the same time (two-way communication process) on a particular topic for establishing trusting
relationships.

The purpose of interpersonal communication is to:

 To help clients and advisors develop mutual respect, cooperation and trust
 To increase client satisfaction
 To increases the advisor's job satisfaction
 To improve the quality of career education services

IPC Verbal skills

 Active listening
 Questioning skills
 Acknowledge and Reflect feeling
 Paraphrasing clients concerns
 Encouraging and praising
 Empathizing
 Providing and asking for feedback
  Giving needed information - not too much nor too little
 Encouraging client to ask questions
 Repeating key messages
 Dispelling rumours and misinformation

IPC Nonverbal skills

 Open and friendly facial expression

 Smiling and head nodding
 Lean forward towards client
 Eye contact
 Relaxed and friendly manner
 Friendly tone of voice
 Space between the client and advisor that makes the client comfortable (depends on cultural
considerations)

Communication and behaviour change

 Advocacy
 Practice
 Intention
 Approval
 Knowledge

We cannot talk about communication for career guidance without talking about behaviour change.
Behaviours change is a slow process by which individual's progress through several stages. It is also
important to note that the steps of changing behaviour are not linear; they can occur rapidly or take a long
time. They do not follow any pattern.

Steps to behaviours change model

Knowledge: One first learns about a new behaviour

 Recalls information with him/herself.

 Understands what information means.
 Can identify source of information for getting more information and can name career education
services that can be used for his/her personal needs.

Approval: One then approves of the new behaviour

 Responds favourably to information.

 Discusses the information with personal network (family and friends).
 Thinks family, friends and community approve of the behaviour/message.
 Approves of the information.

Intention: One then believes this behaviour is beneficial to them and intends to adopt it

 Recognises that adopting a behaviour can meet a personal need.

 Intends to consult a Career Management Professional to get the intended service/product.
 Intends to practice the behaviour at some time i.e. identify the time.

Practice: One then practices the new behaviour

 Goes to a Career Management Professional for information/services.

  Chooses a career education service if necessary.

Advocacy: One promotes the new behaviour through their social networks as a satisfied user

 Experiences and acknowledges personal benefits of the career education services.

Communication Cycle
Communication cycle consists of the following components:

 Source/Sender
 Message
 Channel
 Receiver
 Feedback

Types of Communication

Intra personal: communication with oneself. It includes the justification we make for our actions.

Interpersonal: person-to-person communication, verbal and non-verbal exchange that involves sharing
information and feelings between individuals or in a small group. It is face to face, and all parties involved
are senders and receivers at the same time.

Mass communication: transmitting messages to large audiences through the mass media e.g. radio,
television, posters, internet, etc.

Organisational communication: communication that happens within a group or organization, or among

organisations. Members are aware of each other's existence; they have a common interest and work
together for the same goal.

Ways of Communication

One-way communication: If a person only talks continuously and does not allow the other to respond or
talk, it is known as one-way communication. We can also say that in one communication the
"ORIGINATION" of ideas/emotions/information is just from "ONE SOURCE".

Two-way communication: If two or more people discuss an issue, exchange their views, decide together
what to do, then it is a two-way communication. We can also say that in two-way communication the
"ORIGINATION" of ideas/emotions/information is from "MORE THAN ONE SOURCES" (all) sides involved in
a communication.

Effective way of communication

 Two-way communication is more effective than one-way communication as in two-way

communication all the parties involved share their ideas/information/emotions with each other
and understand others emotions/ideas/information. Therefore, as result of two-way
communications they can reach a mutual understanding easily.

 Also, in two-way communication the cycle of communication is repeated again and again so
uncertainty decreases and affinity increases among the parties involved with each repeated cycle
of communication.
Source/sender barriers

 Knowledge: Advisors cannot communicate effectively if they don't understand their clients and the
content of their work. Also difference of level of education of advisor and client is a barrier in client
advisor interactions.

 Attitude: An advisor's negative attitudes can affect the impact of the message. For example, lack
of positive regard and respect for the client results in interruptions, decreased participation of the
other person and their unwillingness to disclose important information.

 Religion and Culture: Sometimes advisors religious and ethnic group backgrounds may interfere
with communication.

 Gender: Some clients prefer to communicate with people of the same sex, especially on sensitive
subjects.

 Age: Advisors may not feel comfortable counselling people much older than themselves and may
not like talking about certain subjects with a young person.

 Economic Status: Well off advisors might find it hard to relate to a person who appears to be of
another economic status.

 Time: The advisor has no time to spend with the client.

 Lack of Active listening skills: The client advisor interaction is dependent on different factors like
advisor just listen to respond and don't listen to understand the condition of the clients and then
make an appropriate inference due to lack of time. Advisors get the habit of being judgmental
(presume about the assessment and guidance) to overcome the burden of work.

Message Barriers

 Lengthy and complicated message

 Message has unfamiliar terms
 Message not in simple local language: Often Career Management Professionals use terminologies
or jargons when guiding clients. This constitutes a major barrier in client - advisor interaction since
clients do not understand language.
 Semantic Barriers: These arise from different meanings and uses of words, symbols, images and
gestures including differences in verbal and visual literacy.

Receiver barrier

 Knowledge: Difference of level of education of advisor and client is a barrier in client advisor
interactions.

 Attitude: A client's negative attitudes can affect the impact of the message. For example, client
being suspicious of advisor’s intentions, client not trusting the Career Management Professional.

 Religion and Culture: Sometimes client’s religious and ethnic backgrounds may interfere with
communication.

 Gender: Most of the clients prefer to communicate with people of the same sex, especially on
sensitive subjects.

 Age: clients may not feel comfortable taking advice from a young newly graduated advisor than
themselves and may not like talking about certain subjects with a young person
  Lack of concentration to the advice

 Not a good listener

 Bad self-condition (lack of understanding ability and seeing, hearing problems, etc.)

Feedback barriers

 Clients don't usually express their feedback. They always remain passive in the
communication cycle.

 Advisors not paying attention to the clients' verbal and non-verbal feedback.

 Advisors not asking for feedback if not provided by the client.

Other barriers

 Structural barriers: These include social, political, and economic barriers which affect how the
message was transmitted and received. It can be related to who has access to information and
who controls its use. As senders and receivers of information, we need to be aware of the role we
personally play in contributing to communication breakdown.

 Physical barriers: e.g. physical distance, distraction, noise, temperature, competing messages,
inadequate sitting facilities can interfere with effective communication. This category also includes
the physical disability of either the sender or the receiver, i.e. being visually or hearing impaired,
sleepy, tired, or ill.

 Time: The advisor has not time to spend with the client.

Impact of barriers on communication

 Leads to poor and wrong feedback

 Leads to conflicts of misunderstanding
 Leads to misinformation
 Leads to rumours (misinterpretation and misconception)
 Leads to maladjustment

How to minimize communication Barriers

 Active listening: As it said that God has given us two ears and one tongue, to listen twice the
amount of speaking. But research has shown that in clients - advisors interactions advisors talks
75% of time and listen just 25%of time.

 Keep the message short, in simple language and sensible (according to receiver)

 Always pay attention to verbal and non-verbal feedback of the clients. If no feedback is given then
ask for feedback.

Factors that helping effective communication

1. Respect to the client

2. Assuring and ensuring confidentiality
 3. Comfortable environment
4. Listening carefully to the client words
5. Understand and respect local believes and norms
6. Understand and use local terms and words
7. Use of simple language
8. Giving necessary information to the client and get feedback
9. Be short, clear and to the point while giving message
10. Asking open-ended questions
11. Giving the chance of talking and asking questions to the client.

Factors that hindering effective communication

1. Insufficient time
2. Religious and cultural believes
3. Language barriers
4. Bad environment (lack of privacy, hotness, coldness, air-flow, uncomfortable setting, etc.)
5. Poor behaviour of advisor/client
6. Gender issue
7. Economic imbalances
8. One-way communication
9. Unclear message, use of difficult and Professional words
10. Lack of necessary materials (IEC materials and visual aids)
11. Unclear agenda and message
12. Lack of knowledge

KISSS i.e. Keep It (your messages) Short, Simple and Sensible

Short means the message should be to the point.

Simple means avoid professional jargons, the message should be delivered in common terminologies.
Sensible means the value, interest and awareness level of the clients should be kept in mind and then frame
the message accordingly.

The steps of behaviour change should also be kept in mind while framing a message to an intended client
i.e. on which step of behaviour change the intended client is and then frame the message accordingly.

It is important to note that if the message sent towards a client is personalised, well timed and repeated it
will become a part of client memory and the chances of client acting accordingly increases.

Importance of the nonverbal message to promote effective communication

Nonverbal messages also tell us that whether the client has understood the instruction given by the advisor
or not. For example, at the end of any guidance session when you as advisor ask the client if he/she has
understood what was explained then the usual answer will be YES. But you might see that verbal YES and
the facial expression of the client might not match so you should again explain the matter to client for a
better career awareness.

Studies have shown that when a message is sent towards the receiver different components of message
have different percentage of impact on the receiver.

 The verbal component of a message (just the words) has 7% impact on the receiver.
 The tone of voice (a non-verbal component) has 38% impact on the receiver.
 The other non-verbal component (body language, facial expression, head nodding, clothing, seating
etc.) has 55% impact on the receiver.
Therefore, for effective communication while sending messages towards the receivers both the verbal and
nonverbal component of the message should be kept in mind. For example, as a Career Management
Professional if you want your clients to adhere by your advice and fallow your instructions you should send
your messages towards the clients with having eye contact with clients, have a smiling face, with warm
tone of voice. By doing so your messages will have greater impact on the client.

In general, the advisors tend to sends just verbal component towards the clients and have no proper eye
contact, attention towards the clients so the impact of messages decreases.

Rumour
A rumour is Inaccurate or untrue information that is passed from one person to another and the original
source is unknown

Possible causes of rumours

 Inadequate or incorrect information.

 Misinformation, either through intentional or accidental distortion of truth.
 Career education materials are not adequately used during the client advisor interactions.
 Cultural and personal values that appear to conflict with the concept of career planning.

Counteraction rumours

(A) During client advisor interactions

 To counteract rumours effectively, advisors need to understand the cause of the rumour, and
explain why the rumour is not true. They should then give the truth.

 The clients should not be told whatever they say or think is INCORRECT because the clients will
consider themselves idiots.

 Ask the client about the source of information. Tell the client what you are saying is correct but
from where you have heard that source is not a reliable source and has passed wrong message to
you. Then dispel the rumour and pass the actual, up to date and evidence-based information.

 Always use career education materials during communication and guidance session.

(B) At the community level

 Enlist satisfied users as outreach workers and peer advisors i.e. always use your advocates to
promote healthy behaviours and dispel rumours at the community level.

 Always use career education materials during the group talks in the community so that people can
understand the complex concepts easily.

Using the Model for Micro-Skills

The micro-skills approach focuses on breaking down the complex interaction into small behaviours.
Research has confirmed that mastering these components, then integrating them into the complex
communication and guidance processes, is a powerful and efficient way to learn interpersonal
communication and guidance. The following are some micro-skills to focus on during the process of the
training:
 1. Observation and Attending Skills: Shows the client that the advisor is paying attention to them.
The client is the most important person for the advisor at that moment.

2. Basic Listening Skills: Helps the advisor gather accurate information about this specific client. The
additional information may lead to greater understanding of the client's needs and concerns.

3. Focusing: Keeps the discussion centred on the needs and concerns of the client. If, for example,
the discussion moves off to talking about politics, the advisor can gently move it back to the career
issues, unless, of course, politics directly impacts the client's ability to make the career decisions.

4. Influencing Skills: Helps a client reach a decision and change behaviour through information,
advice, instruction, etc.

5. Confrontation: Helps to clarify thinking by reflecting back to the client information and/or opinions
which may be contradictory or conflicting. This should be used carefully so the client is not offended
or alienated

The following are some of the basic interpersonal communication skills which can be improved with by
constant and continuous practice. Improved communication skills will lead to improved client advisor
interactions, leading to improved quality of the career education services.

1. Listening skills: The key to effective communication is ACTIVE LISTENING. Active listening is not the
same as to hearing. Hearing is just perception of the different sounds by the ears and sending the
sound waves to the auditory centre in the brain. Hearing is a passive process. While active listening
is an active process in which the listener perceives the different messages in the form of sounds
and sends them to the auditory centre in the brain. Also, in active listening, the listener pays
attention to the nonverbal component of the message and sends that also to the brain. So, the
brain after receiving both the verbal and nonverbal component of the sounds interprets it into
meaningful experience. Nature has gifted us two ears and one tongue so that we can hear twice
the amount we speak. Advisors who are relax, have open and friendly facial expressions, are leaning
forward towards the clients, having proper eye contact with the client, and smile and nodding
during their interactions with the clients are considered active listener and so effective
communicators.

Active listening is sensing the verbal component of the message and paying attention to the
nonverbal component by paying attention to the sender and interpreting it and giving meaningful
feedback. Or in short, we can say "Active listening is hearing with ears and eyes" and hearing is just
sensing the sounds with ears. Advisors who uses the ROLES during client interactions are
considered active listeners and effective communicators.

2. Questioning skills: There are generally four types of questions used during client advisor
interactions. These are Open ended questions, Close ended questions, Probing questions and
Leading questions. Advisors who use Open ended questions during their interactions are
considered effective communicators.

3. Observation skills: After asking questions from the client and when the client starts narrating
his/her history then by using certain verbal or nonverbal gestures insuring the client that you are
listening and keenly observing what client is narrating.

4. Acknowledge and reflect feelings: For effective communication the skill of acknowledging and
reflecting feelings of the clients is very important. Acknowledge both the verbal and nonverbal
feelings of the clients. Reflecting focuses on acknowledging how a client feels and showing that you
understand his/her needs and concerns. When a client says something, repeat using her/his own
words what s/he just said and stop there. It is said that an advisor should be like a mirror. Whatever
the feelings of the clients are, advisors should acknowledge them and reflect them back to the
clients for getting the trust of the clients.
 This can enable the advisors to know how their clients are feeling and also make the client attentive
towards his/her feelings so that he/she can be able to give a better description of his/her condition.

 During the guidance when the advisor is explaining something to the client and the client's non-
verbal expressions says that he/she has become confused so by acknowledging and reflect feelings
the advisor can ask relevant questions and explain the matter in more simple and understandable
way.

 Reflection helps the advisor check whether the emotions observed are correct. This helps to show
that the advisor has empathy and respect for the client and her feelings.

5. Paraphrasing: Repeating back to the client what you heard him/her say, in a short form. To make
sure you understood her, to show her you are listening and to help her clarify her feelings. This is
most needed when trying to get information from the client e.g. during history taking or when
client seems concerned about an issue.

Misunderstanding can happen very easily when two people discuss something. A client may tell
you something that you understand in quite a different way from the way he/she meant it. To
prevent misunderstanding when listening to a client's problem or when sharing information with a
client, it is useful to summarize or paraphrase what has been said.

Paraphrasing involves:

(a) A sentence stem such as: you appear to be saying... or what I hear you saying is…
(b) Key descriptors and concepts the client used to describe the situation or person. Use the
client's own words for the most important things.
(c) The essence of what the client has said in summarized form.
(d) A check for accuracy. Am I hearing you correctly?

6. Summarising: Summarising is similar to paraphrasing except that a longer time period and more
information are involved. Summarizing may be used to begin or end an interview, to transition to
a new topic, or to provide clarity in lengthy and complex client issues or statements. It recaps what
has been said. Example of summarising at the beginning: "At our last meeting we decided that you
will discuss with your father/ mother regarding …. and today you here again so what was the result
of your discussion"
Career Counselling
Definitions

(a) "Face to face communication between two people whereby one person helps another person
makes a decision or plan and act on it".

(b) "Career counselling is the process of one person helping another person makes an informed,
committed decision or solves a problem with an understanding of the facts and emotions involved."

This definition features the following:

 The role of one person (counsellor) is to help another (client) take action. Final decision making is
not the role of counsellor.

 Facts include what the client shares such as his or her educational history, family background,
future plans and wishes, and parent's plans and wishes. Facts also include what the counsellor
shares, particularly accurate career development process.

 Feelings of the client include his or her concerns and fears, attitudes and values around sexuality,
career planning, education and training pathways.

GATHER as a method of effective career counselling:

The word or acronym GATHER consists of six steps of effective counselling which are as follows:

 GREET the clients (establishing rapport)

 ASK clients (gathering information)

Asking is more than educational history because other aspects of a person's life (life stage, lifestyle,
personality, etc.) often impact the client's post-counselling behaviour more than his or her educational
history.

 TELL (advisor information)

Specific information, organized logically is retained longer, especially if the client is encouraged to ask
questions. Avoid information overload such as reciting details on all the procedures you are discussing
because there is a limit to how much information people can retain. Instead, group the information and
then check for understanding.

 HELP the client

This is the decision-making or problem-solving moment. The advisor is helping the client sort through the
educational information and lifestyle and life stage issues to come up with various alternatives and helping
the client consider each alternative for its advantages and disadvantages. The client makes the decision.

 EXPLAIN to the client

Once the client has made a choice e.g. SMART career objectives, the advisor help the client remember key
information specific to that decision.

 RETURN/REFER

Return visits or referrals should be planned. Clients need advice concerning when to return for follow-up.
Not every career counselling session consists of all six of these steps are in this order. Some may simply
involve repeating certain elements. Every career counselling situation should be tailored to the client's
needs. Continuing clients, in particular, have specific needs that should be met with specific responses.
Clients often talk with counsellors several times before they decide to act. A career counsellor should be
prepared to see the client as often as the situation demands.

Difference between interpersonal communication and career counselling

Interpersonal communication Career Counselling

Advisor with individual or group of clients Usually between an advisor and a client
May inform, educate and motivate client Help the client to make an informed decision

Principles of Career Counselling

 Career counselling should take place in a private quiet place where client and advisor can hear each
other, and with sufficient time to ensure that all necessary information, client’s concerns and
career requirements are discussed and addressed.

 Confidentiality must be ensured, both in the process of career counselling and the handling of client
records.

 It is essential that career counselling takes place in a non-judgmental, accepting and caring
atmosphere.

 The client should be able to understand the language the advisor uses (local dialect, simple
culturally appropriate vocabulary, no highly technical words).

 Career Management Professional must use good interpersonal communication skills, the ability to
question effectively, listen actively, summarise and paraphrase client’s comments or problems, and
adopt a non - judgmental, helpful manner.

 The client should not be overwhelmed with information. The most important message should be
discussed first and be brief simple and specific.

 Repeating critical information is the most effective way to reinforce the massage. Repeat, repeat
and repeat.

 Always verify that the client has understood what has been discussed. This can be done by asking
open-ended question or through observation when they practice the skills.

Qualities of a good Career Counsellor/Advisor

 Knowledgeable
 Ensures confidentiality
 Good listener
 Shows interest
 Has self-control and tact
 Non-judgmental
 Empathetic
 Honest and acknowledges limitations
 Approachable
 Ability to create rapport
Here are some acronyms that help advisor:

'ROLES' for Non-verbal communication skills

R = Relax
O = Open and friendly facial expression
L = lean forward towards client
E = Eye contact
S = Smile and head nodding

"CLEAR" for verbal communication skills

C = Clarify
L = listen
E = Encourage
A = Acknowledge
R = Repeat/Reflect

"KISSS" for appropriate use of language

K = Keep
I = It
S = Short
S = Simple & S=Sensible

Clients' rights:

 For clients to make informed choices, they must feel empowered.

 Research evidence has demonstrated that clients who exercised their rights were more likely to
change their behaviour and sustain that change.

Right to Informed choice

Informed choice is the process used by the clients to make their own decision about the type/method of
career services/products they want.

Dimensions of Informed choice: Informed choice has three dimensions;

1. The clients fully understand all the types of available services and products in a given situation.

2. The clients fully understand all the necessary information regarding service/product, such as
risks/benefits, mode of action, etc.

3. Then the clients themselves make an informed choice in a stress-free environment and without
pressure, coercion or incentives from others.

Why use IEC (Information, Education & Communication) materials when giving career counselling:

 IEC - materials attract the client's attention

 IEC - materials can trigger discussion and help client bring up questions
 IEC - materials can be used to compare similarities and differences
 IEC - materials can make complex ideas easy to understand
 IEC - materials can show something that people cannot see in real life
 IEC - materials can help when discussing a sensitive topic such as relationship or a complicated topic
like sexuality
 People can take print materials home as reminders
  People can share print materials with family members and friends
 Attract the client's attention.
 Trigger discussion and help bring up questions from clients IT HELPS CLIENT
 To make the best decision in career and education choice.
 To understand how career planning helps in getting success in life.

Different Types of IEC materials:

 Posters (large and small)

 Flip chart (paper and cloth)
 Booklets
 Flash cards
 Demonstrations
 Drawings
 Video films
 Bill boards
 Puppets/ Models

Flip charts

The flipchart is a portable visual teaching aid made up of a series of charts to present ideas sequentially to
a group of people. Each chart contains a specific illustration which may or may not have supplemental text.

How to use flip charts effectively:

1. Position the flipchart so that everyone can see it.

2. Point to the pictures, not the text.
3. Face the client or audience (for group talks). Move around the room for groups with the flipchart
if the whole group cannot see it at one time. Try to involve the group.
4. Ask the client(s) questions about the drawing to check for accurate understanding.
5. If the flipchart has text, use it as guide, but familiarize yourself with the content so that you are not
dependent on the text.

Booklets

Booklets are designed to reinforce or support verbal messages of advisors. If used properly, they strengthen
the messages you give to clients.

How to use booklets effectively

1. Go through each page of the booklet with the client: This will give you a chance to show and tell
the client about a problem/practice and answer any questions the client has.

2. Point to the pictures, not to the text: This will help the client to remember what the illustrations
represent.

3. Observe the client's reactions: If your client looks puzzled or worried, encourage him/her to ask
questions or talk about any concerns. Discussion helps establish a good relationship and builds trust
between you and the client.

Different ways of keeping IEC materials in hands while using it in guidance session:

 Those advisors who have learned the messages by heart may hold it with one hand to their side,
showing the illustration to the audience while reciting the messages.
  Those Career Management Professionals who have not yet learned the messages by heart and are
able to read can hold it with both hands in front of them, showing the illustration to the audience
and using the text to refresh their memory

Definition of Career Development

Career development is the process of managing your life, learning and work.

“The career development process starts with you getting to know yourself and then matching your
interests, aspirations and skills with options for study and work. So, career development is about more than
just your first job, it's about the whole of your life and for many it’s about getting a life that you love!”

The quality of the career development process significantly determines the nature and quality of
individuals' lives: the kind of people they become, the sense of purpose they have, the income at their
disposal. It also determines the social and economic contribution they make to the societies of which they
are part.

Career development applies to people of all ages

Children learn about different jobs in society. They develop interests and abilities that may eventually
influence their career paths.

Teenagers choose subjects and courses that may lead them to their career paths. They participate in school,
part-time work, family activities and hobbies.

Adults participate in formal and informal education, family activities, and hobbies; work in the home, in
paid employment and as volunteers. They may change jobs several times and experience periods of
unemployment, over employment and under employment.

Retirees often have the financial and personal freedom to choose to start a business, travel, study, work
part time, volunteer, enjoy hobbies or care for family members. Some retirees do all of these things!

Purpose of Career Guidance

Career guidance enables people to take more control over their own career, and over the factors which
affect their career.

Steps in conducting career guidance session:

1. Greets and welcome all the clients.

2. Tell the clients that today we are going to discuss about a topic (e.g. career assessment)
3. Give the clients enough information about the topic
4. Encourages the clients to ask questions
5. Uses IEC materials to explain about the career issue to the clients
6. Uses simple and easy to understand language with the clients.
7. Explains to the clients about the particular issues of concerns
8. At the end thanks the clients for paying attention and giving the time.

Career Guidance

 Offers career related information to a group of people.

 Focuses on community career problems.
 Raises awareness and knowledge among group of people.
 Career education is done in the communities, such as in a big room, on the stage, where a large
number of people can attend.
  Does not require confidentiality
 Different methods are used to do career guidance such as role plays, street dramas, use of video,
films, flip charts, campaigns, etc.
 Career guidance is not always two ways.
 Focuses on awareness raising and knowledge, but more so on enhancing skills of an individual to
do something better.

Career Counselling

 Career counselling is done in the school or at the advisor/client's home on a one on one basis.
 Requires confidentiality most of the time.
 Career counselling is more like an informal chat between a client and an advisor. You could use
visual aids, storytelling, and flip charts as additional aids.
 Career counselling must be two ways.

Client satisfaction
Client satisfaction is defined as:

(a) The extent to which the needs and expectations of clients are met.
(b) The Client's perceived acceptability of the system.
(c) Client satisfaction means the client's perceptions of the career guidance services as high quality
and is satisfied with quality of career guidance.

Satisfaction comes in real meanings when the entire situation is acceptable to the clients.

Importance of Client satisfaction monitoring

 To know whether those who are served by Career Management Professionals are satisfied with the
service or not.

 Mostly the Career Management Professionals perceive that they are working day and night to serve
their clients but, in the meantime,, they might ignore some minor issues which might be so valuable
to the clients based on their religion, culture and social values which can affect all the hard work
and their performance and loyalty is questioned by the communities.

 Client satisfaction monitoring is the very good way to ask people coming to career guidance and
get their comments on what they need and want career education services for themselves.

 This process will enable the Career Management Professionals to see their performance from the
community perspective that they serve.

Link between client satisfaction and quality of career guidance services

 There is a direct link between quality of career guidance services and client satisfaction.

 To client’s satisfaction means the career guidance services which can respond to their needs, are
cost effective, relevant to their needs and are accessible.

Therefore, the career guidance services perceived of high quality by the clients are of the perfect quality
than the one we as Career Management Professionals perceives, that is why by clients’ satisfaction
monitoring we will have the opportunity to check the quality of the career guidance service delivery from
the real communities' perception.
Adolescent Counselling Skills
It is now a well-established and widely accepted concept that counselling plays a central role in the
development of an individual. Counselling is a professional and specialised work. For it to be a success, the
counsellor must employ certain skills during the counselling process. Within this context, the principles
discussed below can be useful to improve all kinds of relationships - in all walks of life. Effective counselling
can assist in resolving problems before they get out of control.

Introduction

Counselling is an interactive relationship that exists between the client(s) and the experts (counsellor). The
Counsellor, by virtue of his/her training, has mastered some theories, laws or conceptual models that s/he
can apply to the specific problems/issues presented by the client.

Ugochukwu defined counselling as a “face to face” situation in which a counsellor, by virtue of her/his
training and skill, helps the client to face, perceive, clarify, solve and resolve his adjustment
problems/issues.

There is a legion of problems plaguing adults and adolescents in the society, which need intervention of
counselling experts. Counselling is therefore aimed at helping the individual to solve his problems/issues
armed with the appropriate skills. This implies that when the client participates in the counselling
relationship, the counsellor provides information and reaction that make for effective coping of the client
with his environment, thus making the client a happier person. Speaking, hearing, seeing, feeling and
thinking are all ways in which counsellors and clients respond and communicate with each other in different
counselling modes.

The counselling mode is referred to as the operational nature of the counselling process, which takes two
forms: individual counselling and the group counselling. There are basic skills which the professional makes
use of to assist the client to use his/her inner resources to re-orientate himself to adjust positively to life.
Counselling is a specialist work and for it to be a success, the counsellor must employ among others these
skills discussed here during the counselling process. The skills are aimed at aiding the client in personal
growth and development.
Counselling interviews are therapeutic in nature and its success depends on the skills adopted by the
counsellor. By identifying and developing/teaching simple skills we can enhance the counsellor’s ability to
be more fully present for another person when they are distressed or experiencing difficulties in their lives.

Some basic skills used in counselling

Counsellors utilise different skills during counselling sessions. Among the basic skills that counsellor’s use
involves active listening (observing, attending and responding). Active listening requires full attention;
alertness to every nuance, to what is both implicitly and openly said, thereby helping the client to clarify
confused feelings and thoughts. The ground skills which help counsellors in active listening include:
Empathy, awareness of body language, posture, tone of voice, words and body language and the client’s
body language. Appropriate questioning (closed questions, open questions,
multiple and frequent questions) and silence are two other basic skills which the counsellor must be
conversant with. Responding on an empathic level involves responding to content - to what is being verbally
conveyed - and to feelings, by tentatively reflecting back your understanding of the feelings the client is
expressing.

Active Listening

Sensitive, active listening is an important way to bring about personality changes in attitudes and the way
we behave towards others and ourselves. Active listening is a communication skill that is fundamental for
effective counselling relationship. When we listen, people tend to respond in a more democratic and less
authoritarian way; more mature, become more open to experience and become less defensive. Listening
forms, the basis upon which other higher-level helping responses are built. She opined that active listening
on the part of the counsellor conveys the impression that:

 He is genuinely interested in helping the client to solve his problem.

 The client is unconditionally accepted, regarded, and valued.

If on the other hand, the counsellor is not able to listen and decode the client’s problems, the counsellor
will not be able to communicate her understanding of the client’s problem (content) and how s/he feels
about the problem (feeling) or is able to tell the impact of the problem on her/his client’s psychological
well-being. The ground skills which help counsellors in active listening include:

 Empathy, awareness of body language, posture, tone of voice, words and body language.

Empathy

Empathic responding is a vital part of active listening - hearing what the client says from the internal frame
of reference and responding in such a way that the client knows and feels that the counsellor is striving to
understand. Empathy has been described in a number of ways: e.g. walking in another’s shoes, entering
into another person’s frame of reference, or having the ability to experience life as the other person does
by temporarily entering into the client’s world of thoughts, meaning and feelings.

Empathy is an expression of the regard and respect the counsellor holds for the client’s whose frame of
reference (the inner world including aspects of self: values, thoughts, meanings’ feelings, cultural
influences, experiences and perceptions) may be different from that of the counsellor. It is however
important that counsellors retain their own sense of self. The client needs to be ‘therapeutically held’ as
well as understood. True empathic responding does so. To be held therapeutically means to feel that the
counsellor is capable of accepting and supporting the client through anything s/he brings to the counselling
setting. The counsellor is non-judgmental not shocked and strong enough as not to need protection from
what the client may have envisaged to be unacceptable or even hateful side/behaviour about him. There
are two levels of empathy the primary level and the advance level.

 The primary level empathy - this is when the counsellor responds to the facts and the expressed
feelings of the client.

 Advanced empathy on the other hand deals with the implied facts and feelings of the client.

Empathic responding circumnavigates all the other skills. The ability to empathise with another is enhanced
by an ever-alert attentiveness to facial expressions, body language, gestures and so on, and not only to
what is being openly conveyed but also to the underlying implications. Intuition or 'hunches' have a part to
play in empathic responding. On the subject of trusting his intuition - the feelings, words, impulses and
fantasies that emerged when he was facilitating in group-work.

Empathy not sympathy

Empathy is sometimes confused with sympathy. When we feel sympathy for someone, we view them with
pity: ‘Poor girl - she really can't cope now ---- has left her’ Pity is often linked with victim-hood. While pity
makes a victim of the sufferer, empathy empowers them; it says: ‘I have a sense of your world - you do not
stand alone, we will go through this together.’ The other person becomes an important subject rather than
a specimen object whose problems are far removed from us. We can tell we are objectifying someone when
in our minds we slot them into a sociological category or stereotype like 'the lazy student, 'the single parent'
or the adolescent 'delinquent'. These classifications stifle empathic understanding which relates to each
individual and views their experiences as unique.
Awareness of body language

The individual’s inner emotional state is communicated through our bodies. We give each other messages
through body movement, the intonation of one’s voice, facial expressions, posture, gestures and eye
contact. Some of these movements may be slight or fleeting but in the heightened atmosphere of one-to-
one counselling they are more often than not registered.

Counsellors need to be aware of two sets of body language, our own and that of our client. As a counsellor
our body needs to demonstrate behaviour that is facilitative. In psychological terminology, non-facilitative
behaviour is called adverse stimulus. This occurs when we display an attitude that is off-putting to the
client. Counsellors may display signs of non-attention; for example, looking bored, yawning, fidgeting or
showing distractive behaviour. Another example of adverse stimulus is punitive attention - when the
advisor looks stern, perhaps tight lipped, raising their eyebrows or staring fixedly at the speaker. It is not
difficult to appreciate how this type of response acts as a deterrent to accessing any material that the client
senses the advisor may disapprove of.

Other mannerisms like picking at your fingers, shrugging or sniffing could be distracting to the client. This
all seems so obvious and we may think we avoid all these, but it can be a revelation to watch ourselves in
the act of counselling on video.

Posture

Ugochukwu opined that posture reveals the degree of interest we have in the client. When we sit back,
away from the other, we display an attitude of distancing ourselves; and when we lean towards them, we
engage and show interest. Similarly, when we cross our arms and legs, we convey the message that we are
less open to the other person. We are in some way protecting ourselves by closing off. In contrast, a relaxed
and attentive posture tells the client that we are comfortable with ourselves and with them in the helping
process. Although it would be unnatural to sit totally still throughout, too much shifting around can be
distracting and fits into the category of ‘fidgeting’.

As with everything in life, there are always exceptions to the rules and sometimes what seems a mistake
often proves to be useful.

I personally think it's good to learn the skills and also retain as much of ourselves as possible so that we
respond in both a spontaneous and an appropriate way. An example is that if we find ourselves crossing
our arms and legs during the session, rather than thinking ‘Oh no, I shouldn't be doing this’, it is more useful
to observe yourself and note, ‘I have my legs and arms crossed. I wonder why? Perhaps I am uncomfortable
with what is being expressed, or it may be that in some way I am reflecting what my client is feeling.’

The tone of voice

The tone of one’s voice also acts as an indicator of the individual’s thoughts and attitudes. If the counsellor
speaks too quietly or hesitantly the other person may find it hard to have confidence in her/him as a helper.
It would be counterproductive to be too forceful or overbearing in the way we interact. If, as counsellors,
we talk clearly at a fairly steady level rather than sounding rushed or excited, and without mumbling or
stumbling over our words, then we are probably getting it right. Sometimes it is appropriate to mirror the
tone of the client's voice to help them hear the emotion conveyed. Although humour can be useful at times,
when used sparingly, it is not a good idea to adopt a jocular manner with your clients. It can inhibit their
expression of deeper feelings. It is neither the counsellor nor the client's obligation to entertain or cheer
up the other. In fact, this approach would totally defeat the potential benefits of having counselling.

Words

According to Ugochukwu, people use specific words to communicate inner emotions. It is more difficult to
say to another, ‘I completely lost control and I was destructive in my behaviour’ than ‘I was in a rage.’ The
word ‘rage’ says a lot more than ‘angry’; the word ‘joy’ is more revealing than ‘happy’; the word ‘morose’
more specific than ‘sad’ or ‘depressed’; the word ‘devastated’ more emotionally packed than ‘hurt’ and so
on. Here is a word of caution. Inevitably a counsellor may have at times a different understanding of a
particular word or phrase from that of the client, so the counsellor should check that the understanding
corresponds with the client’s meaning. Clients whose culture or background differs from the counsellor
may use a word in an unfamiliar way. In paraphrasing and summarising the counsellor uses their own words
to reflect back their understanding; the words which are used need to reflect accurately the client's
meaning but they may put emphasis on a feeling, offering the client more insight. For example, a client
might say 'I am very tired', and in paraphrasing the counsellor might say, 'You are exhausted'. This may lead
the client to say 'Yes, I am exhausted - I really don't think I can go on like this', leading to a cathartic release
of emotion.

Words and body language

Words can be either congruent or incongruent with what our body is demonstrating. For example, we may
say ‘I understand’ while looking perplexed, or say ‘No, that doesn't shock me’ having raised our eyebrows
and crossed our arms and legs. What the body is doing is an indicator of deeper, sometimes unconscious
feelings. A common display of incongruence is when a client says that they are angry while smiling, or that
they are deeply sad with no emotion whatsoever. This tells us that the client is not comfortable in
expressing their true emotions. What the client and counsellor hear is reinforced or contradicted by what
they see demonstrated by the body language of the other.

The client's body language

While we as counsellor need to be aware of our body language, it is also our work to decode, understand
and interpret the body language of our client. Body and facial expression can inform us about hidden
feelings. For example:

 He is angry - his mouth is tensed. His eyes are narrowed and he is leaning back in his chair and is
avoiding eye contact.

 He is very upset and near to tears - he has placed his hand up to his forehead and his mouth is
twitching. He is leaning slightly forward and his head is down.

 He is eager to be understood - he is leaning towards me, with his feet placed firmly on the floor; he
gesticulates freely with his hands, he is talking intently and his eyes are fixed on mine.

Use of questions

Think about how you respond when others come to you for help, advice or general succour. Do you fire a
lot of questions at them, questions like: 'What's wrong?’ 'Why are you so upset?', 'Is it something she or he
has said to you?' Asking questions may seem the most natural thing to do on these occasions, but
questioning can be off-putting if overdone. Questions can be intrusive and too forceful, and may be used
to satisfy our own curiosity, none of which is beneficial to the helping process. Yet questions used
tentatively and sensitively, are necessary for the exploration and clarification of facts and feelings.

In counselling, questions tend to be used sparingly because clients are generally encouraged to tackle issues
at their own pace. During counselling painful material inevitably surfaces and insensitive questioning from
the counsellor is destructive to building trust. One of the tenets of counselling the belief that people can
self-heal, that people possess an innate ability to recognise what they need and, given the right set of
circumstances, they can re-orientate themselves to what is meaningful in their lives. In other words, most
of us do not want other people telling us what to do, nor do we want others delving nosily into our business.
We do appreciate someone being with us in our troubles and listening attentively with sensitivity while we
make sense of our situation.
Closed questions

When we ask a closed question, it is usually met with a closed response - that is, a response which does not
allow any further exploration. Closed questions are useful for information gathering when we need to know
specific facts or specific information; for example, in an intake session with a new client when a counsellor
notes marriage status, number of children, education details, work details and so on.

The answer to a closed question is often 'yes', 'no' or 'don't know'. The closed question begins: 'Do you',
'Can you', 'Have you', 'is it', 'would you say', 'Could it', 'Don't you think' and so on. The problem with
questioning that invites a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ type of reply is that it can leave both parties facing a blank wall and
lead to more questioning. While you are bombarding someone with questions, their feelings are subdued.
In contrast, open questions allow further exploration of meanings, thoughts and feelings and encourage
clients to impart additional material.

It is a good idea when using questions to ask yourself what the purpose is, and if it is assisting or hindering
the helping process. It may be information gathering when it would be more appropriate to wait, giving the
client time to get in touch with feelings associated with what they are telling you. The excessive use of
questioning by an inexperienced counsellor can be a ploy adopted to distance the counsellor from the client
- for example, when the counsellor is uncomfortable with their own feelings with regard to what the client
is expressing or with silences during the session.

Open questions

Open questions are valuable because they enable the expression of thoughts, feelings and personal
meanings. They invite the other person to talk, to communicate and self-explore. They allow time to explore
situations. Open questions begin with 'How', 'Where', 'When', 'What', 'In what way' and so forth. The
answers given to them allow the counsellor to have a clearer understanding of the difficulties and thereby
help the client to be more specific.

An example of an open question is: 'I'm not clear what you mean when you say that you feel easily hurt.
Could you give me an example?' Clarifying non-direct questions can be useful; for example: 'Can you say a
bit more about that?', encouraging elaboration of points. This type of questioning also requires the client
to be reflective. Open questions have no 'right' answer.

Multiple and frequent questions

Don't ask too many questions - be sparing. It is important to respect the client's right to privacy. Some
issues may be delicate and too intimate to rush into. Allow time for trust to develop. The client, especially
in the first few sessions when it is crucial to establish trust, may feel interrogated rather than supported.
This will impede the building of rapport. The frequent use of questions does not allow time for the
exploration of thoughts and feelings as and when they arise; therapy can then be experienced as confusing
as the counsellor's interest appears to be initiated on a superficial level only. Beware of using multiple
questions, with one question superseding another in a string of enquiry. This can be experienced as
annoying and distracting as well as confusing and gives little indication of the counsellor's competence. Ask
one question at a time and listen with full attention to the response. When you come to practice your skills
(e.g. in role play), use questions appropriately rather than bombarding the 'client' with one question after
another. It helps to instil the habit of placing questioning in context with other skills at training level.
Questions form a small part of skills use.

Questions to ask about your questions

 Are you trying to clear up a point? (clarifying)

 Are you gathering information?
 Does the question help your client to explore self and situation?
 Does the question have any therapeutic value - i.e. helping in some way?
  Are you avoiding anything by asking a question?
 You may be filling a space, trying to put a client whom you perceive as uncomfortable with silences
at ease, or perhaps you as counsellor find it difficult to manage silences.

Asking too many questions can be an attempt to force change or to control the direction of the sessions;
both can cause the client to deflect from issues rather than going into them. Let the client move at his/her
own pace; the point after all is to lessen distress, not to add to it. There is a role for challenging when an
experienced counsellor feels that the client will benefit from it, but a less experienced person with
counselling skills would be advised to challenge extremely tentatively, respecting the other person's right
to reach new perspectives in their own time.

Some general rules for questioning

 Use open questions when possible.

 Avoid closed questions which invite 'yes' or 'no' replies, except when requiring the client to be more
precise or when seeking specific information.
 Use indirect questions as a softer approach.
 Use questions sparingly.
 Be aware that some forms of questioning may suggest disapproval or criticism.
 Use one appropriate question at a time.
 Check the purpose of your question before you go ahead.
 Be aware of the tone of your voice, the speed of the question, how it is generally delivered and the
message it may convey.

To recap the purpose of a question is:

 To clarify - to help the client be more concrete and specific.

 To help identify problems and the factors which have created them?
 To gain useful information.
 To help the counsellor to have a clear understanding of the client's situation.
 To help the client get in touch with unexpressed emotions.
 To check reality - i.e. did I get that right? - Or specific meanings - e.g. 'You said ... I wonder what
that means for you?'
 To explore underlying thoughts, feelings and meanings.
 To enable or encourage further insight into what has been expressed, leading to unexplored
material.

Silence

Managing silence means having the ability to recognize a constructive silence. A golden rule while
counselling is to use your ears and eyes more than your mouth!

It may take the counsellor some time to feel comfortable with silences. Counsellors should ask themselves
the following questions:

 How comfortable am I with silences?

 How often do I spend time by myself in silence?
 What associations do I have with silence?

Allowing silences gives the client space to reflect. The counsellor may experience awkwardness at handling
a silence if s/he is a new counsellor but one’s threshold of silence will increase with experience and you will
be able to discern between different types. Sometimes clients are nervous, especially in the first or second
session, and a protracted silence may be experienced as excruciatingly uncomfortable. In this case it would
be advisable to acknowledge what you understand to be a rising discomfort on their behalf by saying
something like 'I imagine it is difficult for you to be here.' This will serve two purposes. Firstly, it breaks an
uncomfortable silence and, secondly, it is likely to lead to disclosure of feelings.

Clients can get lost in their own thoughts and feelings or feel overawed by them, and a silence may then
occur. A summary of what you have understood would be useful at such a time. Sometimes a silence begins
because the client is hoping for something from the counsellor; this might be reassurance or confirmation
that the counsellor has been listening, or has understood what has been said.

Emotions experienced during a silence - for example, feelings of awkwardness or anger - may help the client
access material they are avoiding or are unaware of. The counsellor or advisor may become a punitive
parent whose mode of punishing is to distance themselves emotionally from the 'offender' by means of
silence. At a time like this the counsellor might say, 'I sense that you are feeling uncomfortable with this
silence and I remember you saying that your mother used to get angry then refuse to speak to anyone in
the family for days.' The client may make connections, realising how deeply this has affected them, both in
their childhood responses and in their adult reactions towards others who appear to 'switch off from them.

Silences are more often than not constructive, even if a little awkward. A protracted silence often has an
air of expectancy about it. My experience has been that silences lead to new ground. It would be a mistake
to presume always to 'know' what a particular silence was about. Silence is another form of minimal
response that allows the client time to think, feel and find expression ‘Silence is golden’.

Minimal responses

Minimal responses are made to demonstrate the counsellor's attentiveness and understanding of what is
said and also to encourage the client to continue. Minimal encouragements convey interest. Minimal
responses include:

 Mm, Uh-huh
 Nodding
 Using one word such as 'so', 'and', 'then'.
 Repeating one or a few key words the client has used.
 Restating the exact words of the client's statement apart from placing it in the second person, e.g.
the client says: 'I feel so stupid', the counsellor says: 'You feel so stupid.' This is particularly useful
when the comment is uttered as a throw-away line that may be covering a deeper hurt.

Conclusion

Three basic counselling skills that a Career Management Professional can use in a counselling environment
were described in this article: active listening, use of questions and silences.
Sexuality Education
This unit is intended to contribute to the introduction of holistic sexuality education. Sexuality education
gives children and young people unbiased, scientifically correct information on all aspects of sexuality and,
at the same time, helps them to develop the skills to act upon this information. Thus, it contributes to the
development of respectful, open-minded attitudes and helps to build equitable societies.

Sexuality education is also part of a more general education, and thus affects the development of the child's
personality. Its preventive nature not only contributes to the prevention of negative consequences linked
to sexuality, but can also improve quality of life, health and well-being. In this way, sexuality education
contributes to health promotion in general.

Need for sexuality education

The need for sexuality education has been triggered by various developments during the past decades.
These include globalization and migration of new population groups with different cultural and religious
backgrounds, the rapid spread of new media, particularly the Internet and mobile phone technology, the
emergence and spread of HIV/AIDS, increasing concerns about sexual abuse of children and adolescents
and, not least, changing attitudes towards sexuality and changing sexual behaviour among young people.

During the process of growing-up, children and adolescents gradually acquire knowledge and develop
images, values, attitudes and skills related to the human body, intimate relationships and sexuality. For
this, they use a wide variety of learning sources. The most important ones, particularly at the earlier stages
of development, are informal sources, including parents, who are most important at the youngest ages.
The role of professionals, either medical, pedagogical, social or psychological, is usually not pronounced in
this process, because assistance from professionals is sought almost only when there is a problem; a
problem that only a professional can help to solve.

The development of effective interaction skills is central to a person's sexual life and is largely influenced
by his/her personal history. Family background, interaction with peers, sexuality education, autoeroticism
and first sexual experiences all determine sexual perception and feelings, motivations, attitudes and ability
to interact.

These experiences therefore serve a purpose. They offer a framework for understanding one's own feelings
and conduct and interpreting the behaviour of others. In the process, children and young people also learn
about boundaries.

As a result of the wider diversity of opinions on sexuality, there is a greater tendency to exercise individual
choices and decisions. Furthermore, the process of biological maturation starts earlier these days and
sexuality is much more prominent in the media and in youth culture. This means that educators and parents
must make a greater effort to help children and young people cope with sexuality development.

Progress of sexual development the first 10 years

Generally speaking, during the first six years, children move rapidly from complete dependence to limited
independence. They become aware of their own bodies. Children have sexual feelings even in early infancy.
Between the second and third year of their lives, they discover the physical differences between men and
women. During this time children start to discover their own bodies (early childhood masturbation, self-
stimulation) and they may also try to examine the bodies of their friends. Children learn about their
environment by experiment, and sexuality is no different from other areas in this respect. Extensive
observational research has identified common sexual behaviour in children, ensuring that this kind of
behaviour is regarded as normal.
By exploring sexual feelings and desires and by asking questions, children learn more about sexuality. From
the age of three they understand that adults are secretive about this subject. They test adults' limits, for
instance by undressing without warning or by using sexually charged language. Young children are
extremely curious and ask a lot of questions. As they gradually lose their egocentricity, they become
increasingly able to put themselves in someone else's shoes. As language ability develops, physical contact
tends to take a back seat. Children then have several possible ways to express themselves. Older children
start developing a sense of shame, and family background is often one of the factors involved.

Around the age of six, children are still very inquisitive, but start noticing that adults are no longer as
receptive to their questions as they claim to be. To find out more, they turn to their peers. Children of
primary-school age become more introverted and prudish. Sexuality is dormant, and their moral
development fosters a growing sense of shame about their sexuality. Sexual games take place during this
phase. This has been observed among one third of eight-year-old boys, the percentage gradually increasing
with age. By and large, the extent of sexual activity is lower among girls, but sexual interest also increases
as they get older. Children (from the age of five and especially between seven and eight) like to display
their own genitals and also want to look at those of other children. Their main motivation is curiosity and a
desire for knowledge. The sexuality of children is much broader than that of the average adult. It can be
regarded as one aspect of the development of sensuality, which is part of psychological, social and
biological development.

Pre-adolescents' shift of interests and sexual development during puberty

Between the ages of 11 and 13, the interests of pre-adolescents shift as they start concentrating more on
a detailed knowledge of the body and the sexual organs and especially those of the opposite sex. During
puberty, social identity is supplemented by the search for a psychological identity. Adolescents reflect on
their personal qualities and significance and consider their place in the world. Forming an identity is closely
linked with self-image. Puberty is also the time when adolescents increase their intellectual capacities and
experience moral development.

Sexual development is accelerated during puberty. Perceptions and motives related to sexuality acquire a
social dimension: with and through other people. The sexual maturation process is also in full swing. The
differences between boys and girls become more pronounced. Same-sex friends are important during the
early stages of puberty as someone to talk to, and overtures also start to be made towards the opposite
sex. During puberty, a discrepancy arises between physical development and psychological status.

Between the ages of 12 and 20, young people gradually develop their sexual orientation; at the same time,
they form and consolidate sexual preferences.

Stage 1: 0-3 years old (discovering and exploring)

Babies: 0 and 1 year old (discovering)

 Babies focus entirely on their senses: touching, listening, looking, tasting and smelling. Through
their senses, babies can experience a cosy, safe feeling. Cuddling and caressing your baby is very
important, as this lays the foundation for his/her healthy social and emotional development.

 Babies are busy discovering the world around them. This is evident from their tendency to suck
toys (touch), look at faces or moving mobiles (sight) and listen to music (hearing). Babies are also
discovering their own bodies. They often touch themselves, sometimes their genitals, too. This
happens by chance rather than intentionally.

Toddlers: 2 and 3 years old (curious/exploring their bodies)

  Toddlers are becoming aware of themselves and their bodies. They also learn that they look
different from other children and adults (they develop their identity).

 Toddlers learn that they are boys or girls (they develop their gender identity).

 Toddlers become very interested in their own bodies and those of people around them. Often, they
study their own bodies and genitalia in detail and also show them to other children and adults.

 Toddlers start deliberately touching their genitals because it makes them feel good.

 Toddlers still have a great need for physical contact. They like to sit on someone's lap and enjoy
being cuddled.

 They also start learning about the “dos and don'ts” (social norms).

Stage 2: 4-6 years old (learning rules, playing and initiating friendships)

 Children have more contact with large groups of people (at kindergarten and school). They
increasingly learn how they "should” behave (social rules).

 They learn that adults disapprove if they expose themselves in public and touch themselves or
someone else. This makes them less likely to walk around in the nude in public and touch their
genitals.

 Exploring their own and other people's bodies is expressed more in the context of playing (“sexual
games”): children play “mummies and daddies” and also “doctors and nurses”, at first openly but
later often in secret, because they learn that being naked in public is not allowed.

 "Dirty words phase”: children are discovering their boundaries. They notice that saying certain
words provokes a reaction in people around them. This is exciting and fun, so they repeat those
same words.

 At this age children are very interested in reproduction and ask endless questions, such as “where
do children come from?”

 Most children start experiencing shyness in regard to their bodies and start do draw boundaries.

 Children know that they are boys or girls and always will be.

 They develop clear-cut ideas about “what a boy does” and “what a girl does” (gender roles).

 Children make friends with other children: of both sexes or sometimes just with other boys or girls
(members of their own sex).

 Children of this age often associate friendship and liking someone with "being in love”. For instance,
they often say that they are in love with their mother, teacher or rabbit. This usually has nothing
to do with feelings of sexuality and desire. It is simply their way of saying that they are fond of
someone.

Stage 3: 7-9 years old (shame and first love)

 Children may start feeling uncomfortable being naked in the presence of other people. They no
longer want to get undressed when adults are around, and stop walking around in the nude.
  Children ask fewer questions about sex, which does not mean that they are less interested in the
subject. They have noticed that sex is a “loaded” topic and that it is not proper to talk about it in
public.

 Children fantasies a lot, using what they see around them (family, school, TV, internet, etc.).
Fantasy and reality often get mixed up. Their fantasies may be about love, for instance, sometimes
also about being in love with someone of the same sex.

 Boys' and girls' groups are formed, each “sounding out” the other. Boys often think girls are
“stupid” and “childish”, while girls tend to think boys are “too rowdy” and act “tough”.

 In a group situation (classroom, friends), they often find it important to show how grownup, strong
and smart they are. Children try to outdo one another. They want to show that they know
something about the world of older children and adults. One way of doing this is by showing how
much they know about sex and by using sexual language. Children invent rhymes with sexual words
and tell one another sexual jokes (dirty jokes). Often, they do not understand what they are saying.

 The first feelings of being in love are also experienced at this age.

Stage 4: 10-15 years old (pre-puberty and puberty)

10 and 11 years old: pre-puberty

 The onset of puberty begins. The sex hormones become active, manifested in behaviour and
physical development, but also in perception and emotional mood swings. Girls usually reach
puberty two years earlier than boys. Obvious physical changes include the growth of breasts and
an increase in height.

 From about the age of 10, children become more interested in adult sexuality. They fantasy more
about sexuality and hear and see all sorts of things in books, on TV and on the internet, which
arouses their curiosity. Nevertheless, their response may be prudish or offhand if you try to talk to
them about sexuality.

 The first steps towards love may be taken during this phase: young people start going out with one
another and make cautious advances towards one another (holding hands, kiss on the cheek, etc.)

12-15 years old: puberty

 Most boys also start puberty now. Their testicles and penis begin to grow, as does their underarm
and pubic hair. A growth spurt ensues. Their voice becomes deeper and facial hair starts to grow.
Boys have their first ejaculation at the age of 13 (on average), which is a sign that they are sexually
mature and can father a child.

 Girls also continue to develop. They have already had a growth spurt and now develop underarm
and pubic hair. Girls have their first menstrual period at the age of 12 (on aver- age), indicating that
they are sexually mature and could become pregnant.

 Masturbation may increase, more among boys than among girls.

 Adolescents can be very unsure about the growth of their bodies: “is it normal?”, “are they
developing too slowly compared with others the same age?”

 Adolescents have to get used to their “new body”, often feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable.
  Young people develop a sexual self-image: they see themselves as someone who can have sex,
which is why it is important for them to be attractive. Since they are often unsure about their own
body, they are often equally unsure about how attractive they are (to a potential partner).

 Young people of this age are frequently very sensitive to the opinion of others: they can be
influenced by their peers.

 They also start finding people of the same age sexually attractive.

 Boys and girls gradually find out whether they fancy boys or girls (sexual orientation).

 They often truly fall in love for the first time.

 They flirt with one another and have their first relationships.

 More experience with kissing and caressing; petting.

Stage 5: 16-18 years old (on the cusp of adulthood)

 Young people become more independent and have fewer close ties to their parents.

 Young people now know more clearly whether they are heterosexual or homosexual.

 They experiment with relationships.

 Young people gain sexual experience: they kiss and pet, some sooner than others.

 The sexual career of young people usually proceeds as follows: kissing, touching and caressing with
clothes on, naked petting, sexual intercourse (heterosexuals) and, finally, oral sex and sometimes
anal sex.

 They gain more experience in how to interact with the opposite sex: negotiating, communicating,
articulating wishes and boundaries and showing respect are all important themes.

Holistic sexuality education should be based on the following principles:

1. Sexuality education is age-appropriate with regard to young person’s level of development and
understanding, and culturally and socially responsive and gender- responsive. It corresponds to the
reality of young people's lives.

2. Sexuality education is based on a (sexual and reproductive) human rights approach.

3. Sexuality education is based on a holistic concept of well-being, which includes health.

4. Sexuality education is firmly based on gender equality, self-determination and the acceptance of
diversity.

5. Sexuality education starts at birth.

6. Sexuality education has to be understood as a contribution towards a fair and

compassionate society by empowering individuals and communities.

7. Sexuality education is based on scientifically accurate information.

Sexuality education seeks the following outcomes:

1. To contribute to a social climate that is tolerant, open and respectful towards sexuality, various
lifestyles, attitudes and values.

2. To respect sexual diversity and gender differences and to be aware of sexual identity and gender
roles.

3. To empower people to make informed choices based on understanding, and acting responsibly
towards, oneself and one's partner.

4. To be aware of and have knowledge about the human body, its development and functions, in
particular regarding sexuality.

5. To be able to develop as a sexual being, meaning to learn to express feelings and needs, to
experience sexuality in a pleasurable manner and to develop one's own gender roles and sexual
identity.

6. To have gained appropriate information about physical, cognitive, social, emotional and cultural
aspects of sexuality, contraception, prevention of STI and HIV and sexual coercion.

7. To have the necessary life skills to deal with all aspects of sexuality and relationships.

8. To have information about provision of and access to counselling and medical services, particularly
in the case of problems and questions related to sexuality.

9. To reflect on sexuality and diverse norms and values with regard to human rights in order to
develop one's own critical attitudes.

10. To be able to build (sexual) relationships in which there is mutual understanding and respect for
one another's needs and boundaries and to have equal relationships. This contributes to the
prevention of sexual abuse and violence.

11. To be able to communicate about sexuality, emotions and relationships and have the necessary
language to do so.
Table 1

Age group 0-4 Information Skills Attitudes

Give information about Enable children to Help children to develop
The human body  all body parts and  name the body  a positive body-image
and human their functions parts and self-image: self-
development  different bodies and  practice hygiene esteem
different sexes (wash every part  respect for differences
 body hygiene of the body)  an appreciation of
 the difference  recognize body their own body
between oneself differences  an appreciation for
and others  express needs the sense of well-
and wishes being, closeness
and trust created
by body
experience and
experience of
bonding
 respect for gender
equality
Fertility and  pregnancy, birth and  talk about these  acceptance of
reproduction babies issues by different ways of
 basics of human providing them becoming a child of a
reproduction (where with the correct family
babies come from) vocabulary
 different ways to
become part of a family
(e.g. adoption)
  the fact that some
people have babies
and some do not
Sexuality  enjoyment and  gain an  a positive attitude
pleasure when awareness of towards one’s body
touching one’s own gender identity with all its functions =
body, early childhood  talk about positive body - image
masturbation (un)pleasurable  respect for others
 discovery of own feelings in one’s  curiosity regarding
body and own genitals own body own and others' bodies
 the fact that  express own
enjoyment of physical needs, wishes and
closeness is a normal boundaries, for
part of everyone’s life example in the
 tenderness and context of
physical closeness as “playing doctor”
an expression of love
and affection

Emotions  different types of  feel and show  the understanding

love “yes” and “no” empathy that emotions are
feelings  say yes/no expressed in many
 words for feelings  express and different ways
 feeling of the communicate  positive feelings
n e e d for privacy own emotions, towards their own sex
wishes and and gender (it is good
needs to be a girl - or a boy!)
 express own  the attitude that their
need for privacy own experience and
expression of emotions
is right
 a positive attitude
towards different
emotions in different
circumstances
Relationships and  different kinds of  talk about own  a feeling of closeness
Lifestyles relationship relationships and and trust based on the
 different family family experience of bonding
relationships  a positive attitude
towards different
lifestyles
 the awareness that
relationships are
diverse
Sexuality, health  good and bad  trust their  an appreciation of
and well-being experiences of your instincts their body
body/what feels  apply the three-  the awareness that it
good? (listen to your step model (say is ok to ask for help
body) no, go away, talk
 if the to somebody
experience/feeling is you trust)
 not good, you do not  achieve feelings
always have to comply of wellbeing
 the right to be safe
Sexuality and and protected  say “yes” and  an awareness of their
rights  the responsibility o f “no” rights which leads to
adults for the safety of  develop self-confidence
children communication  the attitude “My body
 the right to ask skills belongs to me”
questions about  express needs  the fe el i ng that
sexuality and wishes t hey can make their
 the right to  differentiate own decisions
explore gender between “ good"
identities and “bad"
 the right to secrets
e x p l o r e nakedness
and the body, to be
Social and cultural curious  differentiate  respect for their own
determinants of  social rules and between and others’ bodies
sexuality cultural norms/values p r i v a t e and  acceptance of social
(values/norms)  gender roles public rules about privacy and
 social distance to be behaviour intimacy
maintained with  respect social  respect for “no” or
various people rules and “yes” from others
 the influence of age cultural norms
on sexuality and age-  behave
appropriate appropriately
behaviour according to
 norms about context
nakedness  know where you
can touch

Table 2

Age group 4-6 Information Skills Attitudes

Give information about Enable children to Help children to develop
The human body  all body parts and  name the  a positive gender
and human their functions b o d y parts identity
development  different bodies  practice  a positive body-image
a n d different sexes h y g i e n e (wash and self-image: self-
 body hygiene every part of the esteem
 age differences in body)  respect for differences
bodies and  recognize body  respect for gender
development differences equality
 express needs
and wishes
 recognize own
and others' need
for privacy
Fertility and  myths related to  talk about these  respect for
reproduction reproduction (e.g. in issues by differences: some
some countries, providing them people have babies,
children are told that with the correct others do not
a new baby has been vocabulary
“brought by the
stork”)
 life: pregnancy, birth
and babies; end of
life
 basics of human
reproduction
Sexuality  enjoyment and  talk about sexual  a positive body images
pleasure when matters  respect for others
touching one's own (communication
body; early childhood skills)
masturbation  consolidate their
 discovery of one's gender identity
own body and genitals  use sexual
 the meaning and language in a
expression of sexuality non-offensive
(for example, way
expressing feelings of
love)
 appropriate sexual
language
 sexual feelings
(closeness,
enjoyment,
excitement) as a part
of all human feelings
(these should be
positive feelings; they
should not include
coercion or harm)

Emotions  jealousy, anger,  manage  the acceptance that

aggression, disappointments feelings of love (as a
disappointment  express and part o f al l emotions)
 friendship and love communicate are natural
towards people of the own emotions,  the attitude that their
same sex wishes and own experience and
 the difference needs expression of emotions
between friendship  manage their is right and important
and love own and others' (valuing their own
 secret loves, first love need for privacy feelings)
(infatuations and  name own
“crushes", unrequited feelings
love) adequately
Relationships and  friendship  relate to each  acceptance of
lifestyles  same-sex other and to diversity
relationships family  respect for differences
members
  different kinds of and friends in an in lifestyle
(family) relationship appropriate way
 different concepts of a  live t o g e t h e r
family in families
based on mutual
respect
 build up and
maintain
relationships
Sexuality, health  good and bad  trust their  the attitude that they
and well-being experiences of your instincts and have a choice
body/what feels good? apply the three-  an awareness of risks
(listen to your body) step model (say  an appreciation of
 if the experience/ no, go away, talk their body
feeling is not good, you to someone you  the awareness that it
do not always have to trust) is ok to ask for help
comply  achieve feelings
of well-being

Sexuality and  abuse; there are  ask questions  the attitude “My body
rights some people who are  turn to belongs to me”
not good; they somebody you  an awareness of their
pretend t o b e k i n d , trust if in trouble rights
but might be violent  express needs
 their rights (including and wishes
the right to
information and the
right to protection)
 the responsibility o f
adults for the safety of
children
Social and cultural  gender, cultural, age  recognize and  socially responsible
determinants of differences deal with behaviour
sexuality  values and norms differences in  an open, non-
(values/norms) differ by country and values judgmental attitude
culture all feelings are  respect social  acceptance of equal
ok, but not all actions rules and rights
taken as a result of cultural norms  respect for different
these feelings  talk about norms regarding
 social rules and differences sexuality
cultural norms/values  respect for their own
and others' bodies

Table 3

Age group 6-9 Information Skills Attitudes

Give information about Enable children to Help children to develop

The human body  body changes,  know and to be  an acceptance of

and human menstruation, able to u s e th e insecurities arising
development ejaculation, individual correct words for from their body
 variation in body parts and awareness
development over their functions  a positive body-image
time  appraise body and self-image: self-
 (biological) changes esteem
differences between  examine their  a positive gender
men and women body and take identity
(internal and care of it
external)
 body hygiene
Fertility and  choices about  develop  an acceptance of
Reproduction parenthood and communication diversity some people
pregnancy, infertility, skills choose to have
adoption  gain an children, others
 the basic idea of understanding choose not to
contraception (it is that p e o p l e
possible to plan and c a n influence
decide about your their
family) own fertility
 different methods of
conception
 basic idea of fertility
cycle
 myths about
reproduction

Sexuality  love, being in love  accept own and  an understanding of

 tenderness others’ need for “acceptable sex”
 sex in the media privacy (mutually consensual,
(including the  deal with sex in voluntary, equal, age-
Internet) the media appropriate, context
 enjoyment and  use sexual appropriate and self-
pleasure when language in a respecting)
touching one’s own non-offensive  an awareness that sex
body (masturbation/ way is depicted in the
self-stimulation) media in different
 appropriate sexual ways
language
 sexual intercourse
Emotions  the difference  express and  the acceptance that
between friendship, communicate feelings of love (as a
love and lust emotions, own part of all emotions)
 jealousy, anger, wishes and are natural
aggression, needs  the attitude that their
disappointment  manage own experience and
 friendship and love disappointments expression of
towards people of the  name own emotions is right and
same sex feelings important (valuing
 secret loves, first love adequately their own feelings)
(infatuations and  manage their
“crushes”, unrequited own and others’
love) need for privacy

Relationships  different  express oneself  acceptance of

and relationships in within commitment,
Lifestyles relation to love, relationships responsibility and
friendship, etc.  be able to honesty as a basis for
 different family negotiate relationships
relationships compromises,  respect for others
marriage, divorce; show tolerance  acceptance of
living together and empathy diversity
 make social
contacts and
make friends
Sexuality,  the positive influence  set boundaries  a sense of
health of sexuality on health  trust their responsibility for
and well-being and wellbeing instincts and one’s own health and
 diseases related to apply the three- wellbeing
sexuality step model (say  an awareness of
 sexual violence and no, go away, talk choices and
aggression to somebody possibilities
• where to get help you trust)  an awareness of risks
Sexuality and  the right of self-  ask for help and  feelings of
Rights expression information responsibility for
 sexual rights of  turn to oneself and others
children (information, somebody you  awareness of rights
sexuality education, trust if in trouble and choices
bodily integrity)  name their rights
 abuse  express wishes
 the responsibility o f and needs
adults for the safety of
children
Social and  gender roles  talk about own  respect for different
cultural  cultural differences experiences, lifestyles, values and
determinants of  age differences wishes and norms
sexuality needs in relation
(values/norms) to cultural norms
 recognize and
deal with
differences

Table 4

Age group 9-12 Information Skills Attitudes

Give information about Enable children to Help children to develop
The human body  body hygiene  integrate these  an understanding and
and human (menstruation, changes into their acceptance of changes
development ejaculation) own lives and differences in
 early changes in  know and use bodies (size and shape
puberty (mental, the correct of penis, breasts and
physical, social and vocabulary vulva can vary
emotional changes  communicate significantly,
and the possible about changes in standards of beauty
variety in these) puberty change over time and
  internal and external differ between
sexual and cultures)
reproductive organs  a positive body-image
and functions and self-image: self-
esteem
Fertility and  reproduction and  understand the  the understanding
Reproduction family planning relationship that contraception is
 different types of between the responsibility of
contraception and menstruation/ both sexes
their use; myths ejaculation and
about contraception fertility
 symptoms of  use condoms
pregnancy, r i s k s a n d and
consequences of contraceptives
unsafe sex effectively in
(unintended future
pregnancy)

Sexuality  first sexual  communicate  acceptance, respect

experience and understand and understanding of
 gender orientation different sexual diversity in sexuality
 sexual behaviour of feelings and talk and sexual orientation
young people about sexuality (sex should be
(variability of sexual in an appropriate mutually consensual,
behaviour) way voluntary, equal, age-
 love, being in love  make a appropriate, context-
 pleasure, conscious appropriate and self-
masturbation, decision to have respecting)
orgasm sexual  the understanding of
 differences between experiences or sexuality as a learning
gender identity and not process
biological sex  refuse unwanted  acceptance of
sexual different expressions
experiences of sexuality (kissing,
 differentiate touching, caressing,
between etc.)
sexuality in “real  understanding that
life” and everyone has his/her
sexuality in the own timetable of
media sexual development
 use modern
media (mobile
phones,
Internet) and be
aware of risks and
benefits
associated with
these tools
Emotions  different emotions,  express and  an understanding of
e.g. curiosity, recognize emotions and values
falling in love, various emotions (e.g. not feeling
ambivalence, in themselves ashamed or guilty
insecurity, shame,
 fear and jealousy and others about sexual feelings
 differences in  express needs, or desires)
individual needs for wishes and  respect for the privacy
intimacy and privacy boundaries and of others
 the difference respect those of
between friendship, others
love and lust  manage
 friendship and love disappointments
towards people of the
same sex
Relationships  differences between  express  a positive attitude to
and friendship, friendship and gender equality in
Lifestyles companionship and love in different relationships and free
relationships and ways choice of partner
different ways of  make social  acceptance of
dating contacts, make commitment,
 different kinds of friends, build and responsibility and
pleasant and maintain honesty as a basis for
unpleasant relationships relationships
relationships  communicate  respect for others
(influence of (gender) own  an understanding of
inequality on expectations and the influence of
relationships) needs within gender, age, religion,
relationships culture, etc. on
relationships
Sexuality,  symptoms, r i s k s a n d  take  awareness of choices
health consequences of responsibility in and possibilities
and well-being unsafe, unpleasant relation t o  awareness of risks
and unwanted sexual s a f e and  a feeling of mutual
experiences (sexually pleasant responsibility for
transmitted sexual health and well-being
infections ( STI), H I V , experiences for
unintended oneself and
pregnancy, others
psychological  express
consequences) boundaries and
 the prevalence and wishes and to
different types of avoid u n s a f e
sexual abuse, how to o r unwanted
avoid it and where to sexual
get support experiences
 the positive influence  ask for help and
of sexuality on health support i n
and wellbeing c a s e of
problems
Sexuality and  national laws and (puberty,  an awareness of rights
Rights regulations (age of relationships, and choices
consent) etc.)  an acceptance of
 act within these sexual rights for
rights and oneself and others
responsibilities
 ask for help and
information

Social and  influence of peer  discuss these  respect for different

cultural pressure, media, external lifestyles, values and
determinants of pornography, culture, influences and norms
sexuality religion, gender, laws make a personal  an acceptance of
(values/norms) and socioeconomic assessment different opinions,
status on sexual  acquire modern views and behaviour
decisions, media regarding sexuality
partnerships and competence
behaviour (mobile phone,
Internet, dealing
with
pornography)

Table 5

Age group 12-15 Information Skills Attitudes

Give information about Enable children to Help children to develop
The human body  body knowledge,  describe how  critical thinking
and human body image and body people’s feelings related to body
development modification (female about their modification
genital mutilation, bodies can affect  acceptance and
circumcision, hymen their health, self- appreciation of
and hymen repair, image and different body shapes
anorexia, bulimia, behaviour
piercing, tattoos)  come to terms
 menstrual cycle; with puberty and
secondary sexual body resist peer
characteristics, their pressure
function in men and  be critical of
women and media messages
accompanying and beauty
feelings industry
 beauty messages in
the media; body
changes throughout
life
 services were
teenagers can go for
problems related to
these topics
Fertility and  the impact of (young)  recognize the  personal attitudes
Reproduction motherhood and signs and (norms and values)
fatherhood (meaning symptoms of about (young)
of r ai si n g children pregnancy motherhood and
– family  obtain fatherhood,
planning, career contraception contraception,
planning, from an abortion and adoption
contraception, appropriate  a positive attitude
decision-making and place, e.g. by towards taking mutual
care in case of visiting a hea lt h responsibility for
unintended
 pregnancy) professional contraception
 information about  make a
contraceptive conscious
services decision to have
 ineffective sexual
contraception and its experiences or
causes (use of not
alcohol, side-effects,  communicate
forgetfulness, gender about
inequality, etc.) contraception
 pregnancy (also in  make a
same-sex conscious choice
relationships) and of
infertility contraceptiv
 facts and myths e and u s e
(reliability, chosen
advantages and contraceptive
disadvantages) effectively
related to
various
contraceptives
(including emergency
contraception)  the understanding of
Sexuality  role expectations and sexuality as a learning
role behaviour in  develop skills in process
relation to sexual intimate  acceptance, respect
arousal and gender communication and understanding of
differences and negotiation diversity in sexuality
 gender-identity and  make free and and sexual orientation
sexual orientation, responsible (sex should be
including coming out/ choices after mutually consensual,
homosexuality evaluating the voluntary, equal, age
 how to enjoy consequences, appropriate, context
sexuality in an advantages and appropriate and self-
appropriate way disadvantages of respecting)
(taking your time) each possible
 first sexual choice (partners,
experience sexual
 pleasure, behaviour)
masturbation,  enjoy sexuality in
orgasm a respectful way
 differentiate
between
sexuality in real
life and sexuality  acceptance that
Emotions  the difference in the media people feel differently
between friendship,  express (because of their
love and lust friendship and gender, culture,
 different emotions, love in different religion, etc. and their
e.g. curiosity, ways interpretation of
falling in love,  express own these)
ambivalence, needs, wishes and
insecurity, shame, boundaries
 fear and jealousy and respect
those of others
 deal with
different/
conflicting
emotions,
feelings and
desires
Relationships and  influence of age,  address  an aspiration to create
Lifestyles gender, religion and unfairness, equal and fulfilling
culture discrimination, relationships
 different styles of inequality  an understanding of
communication  express the influence of
(verbal and friendship and gender, age, religion,
nonverbal) a n d h o w love in different culture, etc. on
to improve them ways relationships
 how to develop and  make social
maintain contacts, make
relationships friends, build and
 family structure maintain
a n d changes (e.g. relationships
single parenthood)  communicate
 different kinds of own
(pleasant and expectations and
unpleasant) needs within
relationships, families relationships
and ways of living
Sexuality, health  body hygiene and  make responsible  a feeling of mutual
and well-being self-examination decisions and responsibility for
 the prevalence and well-informed health and well-being
different types of choices ( relating  a sense of
sexual abuse, how to to sexual responsibility
avoid it and where to behaviour) regarding prevention
get support  ask for help and of STI/HIV
 risky (sexual) support i n c a s e  a sense of
behaviour and its of problems responsibility
consequences  develop regarding prevention
(alcohol, d r ug s , pe er negotiation and of unintended
pressure, bullying, communication pregnancy
prostitution, media) skills in order to  a sense of
 symptoms, have safe and responsibility
transmission and enjoyable sex regarding prevention
prevention of STI,  refuse or stop of sexual abuse
including HIV unpleasant or
 health-care systems unsafe sexual
and services contact
 positive i n f l u e n c e  obtain and use
o f sexuality on health condoms and
and well-being contraceptives
effectively
  recognize risky
situations and be
able to deal with
them
 recognize
symptoms of STI
Sexuality and  national laws and  acknowledge  an acceptance of
Rights regulations (age of sexual rights for sexual rights for
consent) oneself and oneself and others
others
 ask for help and
information
Social and  influence of peer  deal with  a personal view of
cultural pressure, media, conflicting (inter) sexuality (being
determinants of pornography, (urban) personal norms flexible) in a changing
sexuality culture, religion, and values in the society or group
(values/norms) gender, laws and family and society
socioeconomic status  acquire media
on sexual decisions, competence and
partnership and deal with
behaviour pornography

Table 6

Age group 1 5 and Information Skills Attitudes

up Give information about Enable children to Help children to develop
The human body  psychological changes  identify  a critical view of
and human in puberty differences cultural norms related
development  body knowledge, between to the human body
body image, body i m a g e s in the  acceptance and
modification media and real appreciation of
 female genital life different body shapes
mutilation,  come to terms
circumcision, with puberty and
anorexia, bulimia, resist peer
hymen and hymen pressure
repair  be criticalof
 beauty messages in media
the media; body m e s s a g e s and
changes throughout beauty
life industry,
 services were advertisements
teenagers can go for and the potential
help with problems risks of body
related to these modification
topics
Fertility and  fertility changes with  communicate  willingness to take
Reproduction age (surrogacy, with their gender differences
 medically assisted partner on equal into account regarding
reproduction) terms; discuss fertility, reproduction
 pregnancy (also in difficult topics and abortion
same-sex with respect for  a critical view of
relationships) and different different
infertility, abortion, opinions cultural/religious
contraception,  use negotiation norms related to
emergency skills pregnancy,
contraception (more  make informed parenthood, etc.
in-depth information) decisions  an awareness of the
 ineffective regarding importance of a
contraception and its contraception positive role for men
causes (use of and during pregnancy and
alcohol, side-effects, (unintended) childbirth; positive
forgetfulness, gender pregnancies influence of engaged
inequality, etc.)  make a fathers
 information about conscious choice  a positive attitude
contraceptive of towards mutual
services contraception and responsibility for
 planning a family and use chosen contraception
career/personal contraception
future effectively
 consequences of a
pregnancy for young
teenagers (girls and
boys)
 “designer” babies,
genetics
Sexuality  sex as more than  discuss the  a positive attitude
merely coitus forms towards sexuality and
 meaning of sex at relationships pleasure
different ages, gender take and the  acceptance of
differences reasons to have different sexual
 sexuality and sex, or not to orientations and
disability, influence of  “come out” to identities
illness on sexuality others (admit to  acceptance that
(diabetes, cancer, etc.) homosexual or sexuality in different
 transactional sex bisexual feelings) forms is present in all
(prostitution, but also  develop skills in age groups
sex in return for small intimate  a change from
gifts, meals/nights out, communication possible negative
small amounts of and negotiation feelings, disgust and
money),  handle hatred towards
pornography, sexual difficulties in homosexuality to
dependency making contact; acceptance and
 sexual behavioural handle celebration of sexual
variations; conflicting differences
differences in the desires
cycle of arousal  be able to
express
respectfully
 one’s own
wishes and
boundaries and
take into
account those of
others
 reflect on the
power
dimensions of
sexuality
Emotions  gender role  address  an openness to
behaviour, unfairness, different relationships
expectations and discrimination, and lifestyles;
misunderstandings inequality understand the social
 family s t r u c t u r e  challenge and historic
a n d changes, forced injustice and determinants of
marriage; stop (themselves relationships
homosexuality/ and others)
bisexuality/asexuality using degrading
single parenthood language or
 how to develop and telling
maintain demeaning jokes
relationships  explore what it
means to be a
mother/father
 seek a well -
balanced
relationship
 become a
supportive and
caring partner
(male or female)
Sexuality, health  health-care systems  counter sexual  internalization of
and well-being and services harassment; self- responsibility for
 risky sexual defines skills one’s own and
behaviour and the  ask for help and partner’s sexual
impact it can have on support i n c a s e health
health of problems
 body hygiene and  obtain and use
self-examination condoms
 positive i n f l u e n c e effectively
o f sexuality on health
and well-being
 sexual violence;
unsafe abortion;
maternal mortality;
sexual aberrations
 HIV/AIDS and STI
transmission,
prevention,
treatment, c a r e a n d
 support
Sexuality and  sexual rights: access,  understand  an acceptance of
Rights information, human rights sexual rights for
availability, violations language oneself and others
of sexual rights  be empowered  awareness of power
 concept of rights- to claim sexual dimensions of duty-
holders and duty- rights bearers vis-á-vis rights
bearers  recognize holders
 gender-based violations of  a sense of social
violence rights and speak justice
 right to abortion out against
 human rights discrimination
organizations and gender-
based violence
Social and  social boundaries;  define personal  an awareness of
cultural community standards values and social, cultural and
determinants of  the influence of peer beliefs historical influences
sexuality pressure, media,  deal with on sexual behaviour
(values/norms) pornography, (urban) conflicting (inter)  respect for differing
culture, gender, laws, personal norms value and belief
religion and and values in the systems
socioeconomic status family and society  an appreciation of
on sexual decisions,  reach o u t t o a self-reliance and self-
partnerships and person who is worth in one’s own
behaviour being cultural environment
marginalized;  a sense of
treat people responsibility for own
living with HIV or role/point of view in
AIDS in the relation to societal
community w i t h change
fairness
 acquire media
competence
Child Guidance skills
Objectives

After studying this chapter, you will be able to

 identify goals of effective guidance

 list personality traits of effective early childhood teachers
 describe principles of direct and indirect guidance
 explain various techniques for effective guidance
 summarise ways to promote a positive self-concept in each child.

Key-concepts

 The goal of guidance is to help children learn self-control

 Guidance may be direct or indirect
 Guidance techniques should promote a child’s positive self-esteem.

Alka sat in the comer looking at a book. Slowly she ripped a page from the book. On the other side of
the room, Yasmin knocked Hunter’s block tower over. Then she sped to the art table and grabbed
Ryder’s play dough. At the same time, Maya entered the room, greeted another child, and threw her
bag on the floor.

How will you, as a teacher or parent or advisor, guide each of these children? How will you empower
them to solve their own problems? Guiding children is a complex process. Understanding and guiding
children’s behaviour requires knowledge of child growth and development. It also requires the ability
to understand each child’s behaviour. This is a constant process that never ends. As an Advisor, you
will continually learn more about your role in guiding young children.

Discipline: Guidance V/S Punishment

The terms discipline, guidance, and punishment in child care may be confusing. One definition of the
word discipline is training that develops self-control. This definition is what early childhood Advisors
refer to as guidance, a positive form of discipline. However, the term discipline has changed somewhat
over time to include more negative tones. A second definition is strict control used to enforce
obedience. This meaning suggests punishment. Both guidance and punishment are types of discipline,
but punishment should not be used in a child care setting.

Guidance consists of direct and indirect actions used by an adult to help children develop internal
controls and appropriate behaviour patterns. This is a form of discipline that can be used in any
situation. It involves helping children learn to take personal responsibility for their actions.

On the other hand, punishment is a form of discipline that does little to respect children. It is intended
to humiliate or hurt. It may involve removing privileges or reprimanding physically. Punishment
focuses on the use of unreasonable, often harsh, actions to force children into behaving the way adults
want. Figure below shows the difference between guidance and punishment.
Goals of Guidance

Effective guidance should maintain children’s self-esteem and produce a desired change in behaviour.
Self-regulation and self-control are the long-term goals of guidance. That is, the children should learn
to direct their own behaviour without outside control.

Another goal of guidance is to promote prosocial behaviours among the children. Prosocial behaviours
are acts of kindness that benefit others. They are behaviours that demonstrate cooperation and
helpfulness. The following are examples of prosocial behaviours:

 accepting and respecting others’ feelings

 verbally and physically comforting others
 expressing strong emotions in acceptable ways
 helping others
 cooperating with others in play and clean up time
 sharing toys and materials
 sharing affection
 showing concern
 caring how actions affect others

Guidance and Teachers/Parents

The personality of parents and teachers affects the behaviour of the children in their care. Many
studies have been conducted to determine the effect that specific personality traits have on children’s
behaviour. These studies show that children respond faster to suggestions than they do to commands.

According to research, teachers/parents should interact often with their children and ask open-ended
questions. These questions require more than one-word answers. Children in this type of environment
will show certain positive characteristics. These include independence, verbalization, cooperation,
task persistence, and high self-esteem.
Model prosocial behaviours

Children will imitate teacher’s example, so let it be a positive one. Studies also note that uncooperative
teachers have more hyperactive, disruptive, and bored children. Children in the classes of talkative
teachers tend to be shyer. Nurturing teachers have children in their classes who interact easily with
others.

Aggressive and attention-seeking behaviour on the part of the children is also influenced by the
teacher. This behaviour occurs most often with permissive teachers. Such teachers often fail to get
involved with or stop aggressive and attention-seeking behaviour. The children who behave this way
may see the teacher’s lack of involvement as permission to engage in such behaviour.

Preparing for Guidance

There are some general guidelines for developing effective guidance skills. Study these guidelines.
They will help you become an effective teacher.

One of the first steps toward effective guidance is observation of the children. Watch and note how
individual children behave in certain situations. This will help you understand the children in your
class.

Ask yourself how you respond to each of the children in your class. Do you have any biases? Are you
expecting certain behaviours from children based on culture, gender, personality, or appearance? The
stereotypes you hold may affect your perception of a child. For example, do you expect Nisha to be
better behaved because both her parents are doctors? Being honest about your own attitudes and
how they may influence your interactions will allow you to be more objective.

Cultural Variations

It is important to learn about family and cultural variations in children’s nonverbal behaviour.
Nonverbal behaviour consists of actions rather than words. These can include facial expressions, eye
contact, touch, gestures, and position in space. For example, it is common for people in some cultures
to look down to show respect. In these cultures, a child who speaks in a soft voice and maintains less
eye contact is reflecting respect and courtesy

Sharing Observations

Another important guideline is to plan with other teachers. Sharing observations, feelings, and
suggestions will help you fully understand the children. One teacher may be able to add to your
observations. As a result, you will better understand why a child refuses to take part in art activities.

Avoid talking to other staff when you are teaching unless it is important. The children’s needs should
always come first. Being alert to these needs requires your full attention. Make a practice of talking
with other teachers only if necessary. Save other comments for after program hours.

Finally sit with the children whenever possible. You will be closer to the children’s level. As a result,
they will find it easier to approach you and gain your attention. Do not interrupt an activity unless you
can add to knowledge or safety. Let the children begin interaction with you. Remember that to
develop independence and self-confidence, never do for the children what they can do for themselves.
Direct Guidance

Child guidance may be direct or indirect. Direct guidance involves nonverbal (physical) and verbal
actions. Nonverbal actions include facial gestures such as eye contact, a smile, or even a surprised
look. Your words are also a form of direct guidance.

Nonverbal Communication

Young children gain much information from nonverbal actions. They might learn the caregiver’s mood
and expectations. Infants and toddlers focus most of their attention on what they see and feel rather
than on verbal clues. Even as children begin to pay more attention to words, they still rely on nonverbal
actions to help them understand messages.

These direct guidance principles outline the verbal and nonverbal skills you will need for effective
guidance.

Facial expressions can communicate a variety of messages ranging from disapproval and sadness to
approval and reassurance. Body gestures are another type of direct guidance. Putting your arm around
a child is one example.

Your nonverbal actions need to reinforce what you are communicating verbally. Watch that your
words match your nonverbal signals. For example, if you are asking a child to stop a behaviour, your
facial expression should also convey disapproval. Children become confused when adults’ words give
one message and their actions another.

Direct guidance principles are shown in figure below. Following these principles will help you develop
direct guidance skills.
Use Simple Language

Using simple language is important. Young children have limited vocabularies. To communicate
clearly, use language they can understand. Consider the ages of the children. Adjust your vocabulary
to fit those ages. For instance, two-year-old usually learn the word big before they learn large.
Therefore, use the word big with these children. When working with three-year-old, you might use
the word large. This depends, however, on their level of development. With four- and five-year-old,
again adjust the level of your vocabulary. With these children, you might say huge.

Speak in a Relaxed Voice

Speak in a calm, quiet, relaxed tone of voice. Children will listen to this type of voice. Save loud, high-
pitched voices for emergencies. Since loud, high-pitched voices are associated with strong emotion,
you will gain the children’s attention. If you raise your voice during the normal course of the day,
children will become used to this level. When an emergency occurs, you may not be able to gain their
attention. In addition, when you raise your voice, the children will also raise their voices. The
classroom will become a very noisy place.

Be Positive

Guide the children by telling them what to do as opposed to what not to do. Children will feel more
comfortable with a positive comment. For example, instead of saying "Don’t put that puzzle on the
floor,” say "Put the puzzle on the table.” See 14-6. This will remind the children of the rule that puzzles
are used on a table.

Offer Choices with Care

New, unskilled teachers sometimes confuse offering a choice with giving a direction. For example,
when it is lunchtime, the teacher may say "Do you want to go in for lunch?” By asking this question,
the child is given a choice. If the child is not interested in eating lunch then, he or she may answer by
saying no.

Children should be offered a choice only when you want them to have a choice. In this case, a better
direction would be "It is time for lunch now,” or "We need to go inside for lunch now.” Make sure that
once you offer a choice you allow the child to carry through with his or her choice. For example, you
might ask a child if she or he prefers watering the plants or feeding the fish. If the child chooses feeding
the fish, accept the choice. Do not try to get children to change their minds. When you do this, you
are telling them that there really was not a choice.

Encourage Independence and Cooperation

Give children the least amount of help they need. In this way, they will have opportunities to learn
independence. For instance, encourage children to dress and feed themselves. Encourage them to
share responsibility for keeping the classroom clean and orderly.

Write a letter for parent/teacher explaining the strategies to be used in the classroom/home to help
children become independent. Explain why developing independence skills is important for pre-
schoolers. Offer suggestions on how parents can encourage children to practice these skills at home.
Give examples of the tasks that three, four, and five-year-old children can perform by themselves.
Children only become independent if allowed the opportunity. Many people are surprised at the
competence of three, four, and five-year-old children who are provided the chance to do for
themselves.

Be Firm

Be firm when disciplining children. At the same time, speak in a quiet voice. Some children are very
demanding. When you tell them they cannot do something, they may cry. Some may even throw
temper tantrums. If it is behaviour that you cannot allow to continue, you must stand firm.

When a child throws a temper tantrum, you may feel like giving in. If you do, the child will likely use
the same method again when he or she wants his or her own way. Effective guidance requires
firmness.

Be Consistent

Children are good at testing adults. If they feel an adult is not firm in disciplining, they will repeat their
unacceptable behaviour. In fact, they may want to find out what will happen if they continue to repeat
their unacceptable behaviour. For this reason, discipline and approval should be given consistently.
For instance, do not discipline children one day and praise them the next for running to the door at
playtime.

Make sure that you are also consistent from child to child. Children quickly develop a sense of fairness.
If you tell one child to pick up the toys at clean up time, all children should have to clean up. When
you are not consistent, children will challenge your requests.

Provide Time for Change

Young children need time to change activities. It is important to provide them with ample time for
change. Without this time, children can become confused. By allowing time, you will provide children
with an adjustment period. For instance, when children are preparing to go outside during cold
weather, allow them time to put on their coats, hats, and gloves. This time will allow them to prepare
themselves for new activities and new surroundings.

Consider Feelings

Although it is not always included in daily lesson plans, learning about feelings and emotions is an
important part of any early childhood program. Children need to recognise, understand, and learn to
express their feelings.

Young children can have strong feelings. These feelings often centre around control of their
environment. The feelings may relate to their bodies, siblings, eating, friendship, and toileting.
Feelings are best discussed in small group settings or alone with a child. For some children, talking
about feelings and emotions is difficult. It is your responsibility to help them understand and express
their feelings.

Facing someone else’s pain is also difficult for young children. You will observe that children do not
know how to deal with the pain of others. When a new child begins school and cries over separation
from parents, the other children do not usually get involved. Some may pretend to not see or hear the
child. Others may have a pained look on their faces. This shows sensitivity. Although they may feel
sympathy, they tend not to get involved. Usually, if a child is bleeding, only then will they get involved.
They will bring the child to you for a bandage. However, they will not usually console the child.

Young children also need to learn how to handle mistakes. When a child spills milk or breaks a toy, do
not overreact. Instead, show the child how to handle the mistake. The child will then know not to fear
mistakes. For example, remind the child who spilled the milk that the milk must be cleaned up. Show
the child how to do this. Depending on the situation, you may wish to help clean up.

Intervene When Necessary

To be an effective teacher, you will need to know when to intervene. Observe children carefully before
saying anything. Allow them to explore on their own. Interrupt only when you can add to their
knowledge or promote their safety.

Workplace Connections

Visit a local child care centre or preschool classroom to observe how manners are modelled and
taught. Were children learning good manners by imitating the teacher’s behaviour? What instances
of verbal and nonverbal modelling were observed? Were active listening techniques being used? What
other guidance techniques were being used in the classroom? Write a brief report of your findings.

Signs of Unhealthy Self-Esteem

Self-esteem involves the feelings people have about their worth. Patterns of healthy and unhealthy
self-esteem can start when children are young and also impacts how children perceive their
accomplishments. Interactions with parents and care providers strongly influence children’s self-
esteem. Although self-esteem can vary as children grow, there are some signs that indicate unhealthy
self-esteem even in young children. These include:

 resistance to trying new things

 negative self-talk
 low tolerance for frustration
 giving up easily

Positive Reinforcement

Children’s behaviour can often be moulded by rewarding positive behaviour. This technique is called
positive reinforcement. For instance, if you thank a child for holding the door, the child will most likely
hold the door again. You have provided a positive reinforcement of the child’s behaviour. Positive
messages will encourage the child to repeat the behaviour. Repeated positive reinforcement will
result in repeated behaviour.

You must be careful when using positive reinforcement that you are rewarding behaviours you want
the child to repeat. Teachers sometimes do not realise they are rewarding children for unacceptable
behaviour. For instance, laughing at a child who is acting silly at group time is reinforcing the child’s
behaviour. This reaction is seen by the child as a reward. It encourages the child to repeat the
behaviour.

Warning
When children fail to follow a limit, you must remind them that they are misbehaving and their
behaviour will have consequences. Warn only once. If the behaviour continues, proceed with the
consequences. Effective warnings contain only two parts. First, state the misbehaviour. Then state the
consequences. Examples include:

 "Javed, sand needs to be kept in the sandbox. If you throw it again, you will lose your turn.”
 "Tara, either choose a place in the circle, or I will choose one for you.”
 "Meera, blocks are not to be used like guns. If you use the block as a gun again, you will need
to leave the block area.”

These warnings provide children an opportunity to change their behaviour. After giving the warning,
provide time for the child to comply. If the child does not comply, follow through with the
consequences.

Time-Out

Time-out is a guidance technique that involves moving a child away from others for a short period of
time. Time-out is used when a child’s disruptive behaviour cannot be ignored. The child needs time to
calm down. In some classrooms, this technique is used when a child is out of control with anger. To
protect the other children, the teacher moves the angry child to a quiet place away from the group.
This is one way of allowing the child to gain self-control. However, time-out should never be used as
a form of punishment.

Time-out can be an effective guidance tool for some children. Four and five-year-old usually
understand the purpose better than younger children. By this age, most children have the ability to
understand their behaviour can have negative consequences. Time-out is an example of a logical
consequence.

Not all teachers agree with the use of time-out. Some teachers feel the technique should seldom be
used, if at all. Others feel that time-out provides time for children to think about the skills they need
to function more appropriately in the classroom.

I-Messages

When a child misbehaves, use an I-message to communicate your perceptions and feelings. An I-
message tells the child how you feel about his/her behaviour in a respectful manner. It does not place
blame with the child, which would cause the child to feel s/he was a bad person. Rather, it helps the
child learn how others view his or her actions.

Effective Praise

Studies show that not all praise is equally successful. Effective praise is sincere and constructive. It is
specific and individualised to fit the situation and child. It acknowledges the child’s actions or progress.
It is thoughtful and does not interrupt the child’s activities. Effective praise recognizes the child’s
positive behaviours and encourages the child to persist at a task. This type of praise may compare a
child’s progress to past performance. The goal is to make the child feel competent and valued. Young
children thrive on effective praise. When you say "I like the way you helped, Chhaya,” you tell the child
he is important. This is a form of verbal praise. Nonverbal praise can also be used successfully. A smile,
wink, or pat on the back are all types of nonverbal praise. Displaying a child’s work on a bulletin board
is also a form of praise. Some teachers paste a star or sticker on paperwork or artwork that a child has
done. This is also nonverbal praise.

When praising young children, remember the following:

 Make praise age appropriate.

 Give praise immediately. It is most effective to praise children while they are still in the act.
 When praising, always establish eye contact.
 Do not overuse praise. If you do, it will not be as effective.

Ineffective praise may be more damaging than helpful.

Suggesting

Suggesting means placing thoughts for consideration into children’s minds. This, in turn, often leads
to action. For instance, after Bhava spills her milk at the table, you may have to suggest she clean it
up. To do this, say “Bhava, here is a sponge.” This will likely be enough to encourage Bhava to wipe
the spill. If not, you may have to add, “You need to wipe up the milk.”

Prompting

Children often need prompting either to stop an unacceptable action or start an acceptable one.
Prompting can also be used to prepare children for transitions. Prompting differs from suggesting
because a response is required of a prompt. Examples of verbal prompting include the following:

 “Maya, do you remember where we keep the play dough?”

 "Gudiya, what must we remember when riding bikes?”
 "Mahesh, do you remember where you put your painting?”

Prompting can also be nonverbal. You may place a finger over your lip at group time to signal "Quiet,
please!” Frowning can show your disapproval. Even turning a child around to attend to group activities
is a form of prompting.

Generally, make prompting simple and noncritical. Prompt in a calm, impersonal manner. You may
ask a child "What are you supposed to be doing?” or “What should we be doing before we have a
snack?”

Prompting may need to be repeated often before acceptable behaviour is developed. A child may
need to be prompted for several days to hang his or her shirt on the hook before this behaviour is
developed. Once the child complies, praise this behaviour.

Persuading

By persuading, you encourage children to act or behave in a certain way by appealing to their basic
wants and needs. Seeing things from their point of view will give you an idea on the best way to
approach a situation.

Link behaviour with the children’s feelings. For instance, a child who hangs back from an activity might
be persuaded to join by appealing to his or her need to belong. You might say, “We are having such
fun, Sanjay. Will you join us?”
Redirecting

Children often need redirecting to a substitute activity. When redirecting, you divert, or turn, their
attention in a different direction.

One way to redirect is through distraction. A child who cries when his or her parent leaves may need
to be distracted. Choose an interesting toy or book to distract the child’s interest away from the
parent.

Modelling

Children learn by imitating others. When they see others helping, sharing, and cooperating, they are
likely to act in these ways. Whenever you speak or move, you are modelling behaviour. Modelling
involves both verbal and nonverbal actions. It is a powerful tool when working with young children.
At an early age, children become aware of the actions of the adults around them. Thus, it is important
to set a good example. Social-emotional development is an important part of the early childhood
curriculum. Much of what children learn is the result of watching others and imitating their behaviour.

Listening

Listening involves giving children your full attention. It is more effective when you are at eye level with
the child. Nodding and letting the children talk without interruption convey your attention. One type
of listening is called active listening. Through active listening, you first listen to what the child is saying
to you. Then you respond to the child by repeating what was just said. This lets the child know you
have heard what he or she said and you accept it. It does not mean, however, that you solve the
problem.

Ignoring

Do not encourage inappropriate behaviour. When a child is able to gain your attention by whining,
crying, or throwing a temper tantrum, you have reinforced the child’s behaviour. The child will likely
continue this behaviour rather than control it.

If a child’s inappropriate behaviour is not dangerous, avoid giving the child attention. Do not look
directly at the child. Avoid acknowledging the behaviour. This is called ignoring. On the other hand,
praise the child when he or she models acceptable behaviour.

Changing a young child’s behaviour is usually not a quick process. In fact, the behaviour may actually
become worse before it improves! It is important to be patient. Unless you ignore unpleasant
behaviour 100 percent of the time, it is likely to reoccur.

Encouraging

Encouraging is a guidance technique that helps children believe in themselves. By encouraging

children, you are recognizing their efforts and improvements. You may observe that successful
teachers often use this technique. They want children to feel good about themselves. Examples of
encouraging phrases you may use include:

 You can do it all by yourself!

  You know how it works.
 I know you can fix it.
 You were able to do it last week.

Promoting a Positive Self-Concept

When guiding children’s behaviour, your actions should always promote a positive self-concept in
each child. A child’s self-concept includes the qualities the child believes he or she possesses. It is a
result of beliefs, feelings, and perceptions a child has of himself or herself. Children’s self-concepts
reflect the feelings others have for them and the confidence they have in themselves. A child’s self-
concept develops gradually and continues into adulthood.

Children with positive self-esteem perceive themselves as able and important. They accept and
respect themselves as well as others. These children are often able to judge their own skills and cope

Guidance Challenges
Key-concepts

 There are various reasons for children to display behavioural problems.

 Understanding how to handle problem behaviours can help you guide children successfully.

Helping children deal positively with tension-causing events is an important role of the
parent/teacher. You will need to understand situations and feelings that cause tension in children.
Recognising behaviour patterns that result from tension is also important. Then you will need to be
able to help children deal with this tension. With this information, you will be able to effectively guide
and help children.

Causes of Behavioural Problems

There are many causes of behavioural problems in children. These include certain stressors and
frustrations children do not know how to handle. In addition, there are physical problems that can
cause tension in children. Being aware of situations and emotions that produce tension is important.
This knowledge will allow you to avoid these causes or at least reduce the effects of them.

Overstimulation

Children can become overexcited, or overstimulated, by many things. For instance, simply playing with
other children can overstimulate some children. Usually, the larger the group of children, the greater
the likelihood that overstimulation will occur.

Some children become overstimulated when there are program changes. Holidays, such as Holi and
Deepawali, can be over stimulating times for children. Avoid making holiday plans too early. When
this happens, the children may get keyed up long before the event occurs.

Breaks in Routines

Routines are important to children. They let children know what to expect and when. If routines are
not followed, children become confused. All children need consistent daily schedules. Quiet activities
need to be followed by active activities. If children sit still too long, they may lose interest in the activity
and become disruptive. Likewise, if children remain active too long, they may become overstimulated
and disruptive. When changes in routine are necessary, such as a planned field trip, prepare the
children ahead of time. Talk to them about what will happen. Also, explain to the children what your
expectations are before, during, and after the trip.

Noise

Noise affects children differently. Children with very sensitive ears are particularly upset by noise. For
example, these children will cover their ears or cry when a fire alarm goes off. Likewise, if an
ambulance drives by with its siren wailing, some children will cringe. While some children may try only
to escape the noise, others may react by pushing or hitting others.

To avoid the problems caused by noise, pay attention to the volume of your own voice. In frustration,
you may raise your voice or yell. Unfortunately, this causes a chain reaction. As the volume of your
voice increases, the children's voices also become louder. This, in turn, will affect children sensitive to
noise. The result will be chaos.

Waiting Time

Children often begin leaving the group or behave poorly when they have to wait for long periods of
time. By nature, they are usually in motion. Therefore, if they are kept waiting too long for a story,
they may start pushing or hitting. This behaviour is not the children's fault. However, it may gain the
teacher's disapproval. If this occurs, it may damage the children's self-concepts.

Frustration

Children sometimes feel they are not in control. They feel defeated or discouraged. These feelings are
called frustration.

In order to control frustration, carefully plan each day's activities. The activities you choose should be
developmentally appropriate. They should reflect the needs, interests, abilities, and experiences of
the children in the centre.

Forcing children into activities they are not prepared to join can result in frustration. A better approach
is to allow the children to decide what is best.

Physical Problems

Poor health or other physical problems can cause tension and behavioural problems in children. Poor
or inadequate nutrition can also affect behaviour. Studies show that one-fourth of preschool children
do not receive the caloric intake recommended for them. Children who do not have the proper caloric
intake or nutrients may be inattentive and sluggish. Motor skills and motivation are also affected.

Stress
Stress is the body's reaction to physical or emotional danger signals. This reaction often takes the form
of tension. Mild or occasional stress is not a problem. However, constant stress, prolonged stress, or
the piling up of many stressors can threaten a child's ability to cope.
The foundations for life are laid during childhood. Early in life, children watch how adults cope with
stress. Children learn their responses to stress from these adults. As a result, children vary widely in
how they handle stress. Children who learn negative coping skills may become more prone to stress.
They may become illness-prone, withdrawn, nervous, aggressive, or angry. On the other hand, some
children learn positive coping strategies. These children are resilient—they bounce back quickly from
stress.

Stress can be caused by both negative and positive events. One negative event that can cause stress
in children is the frequent quarrel and breakup in the family. Even the most amicable divorce is a major
stressor for young children because it disrupts the family stability. Other negative stressors include
abuse, neglect, rejection, separation, and fights. Positive events may include parties, vacations,
overnight visits with friends or relatives, the birth of a sibling, or getting a new pet.

Starting child care or changing to a new early childhood program can be stressful for some children.
In many centres, children also move from one classroom to another as they get older. Adjusting to
new teachers, playmates, and surroundings can take time. Learning a new routine can also cause
tension. This stress should subside as the child adjusts to the new centre or classroom. Helping
children feel safe and welcome is the most helpful way to ease this discomfort.

Workplace Connections

Locate storybooks for young children that deal with typical situations that may cause a child stress.
After reading the story to the children, ask children how they would feel in a similar situation.

Family Stressors

As the primary social unit, the family can serve as a buffer from stress. It can also be a source of many
stressors in a child's life. The influences of family can be positive or negative, depending on how the
family operates. Family harmony is important for the health of all the members. Stress within the
family disrupts this harmony. All family members, including young children, can be affected. Stress
can also strain family relationships. Children can sense this tension.

Family crises cause major stress within a family. See figure below for a list of family stressors.

Possible Family Stressors

 Birth or adoption of a sibling
 Marriage, separation, or divorce of parent(s) Custody, child
support issues
 Stay-at-home parent entering the workforce
 Family member moving into or out of home Serious illness of self
or family member, death of a friend, family member, or pet
moving to a new home
 Friend moving away
 Parent's loss of employment
 Financial or legal problems in the family, addiction of family
member
 Exposure to violence (unsafe neighbourhood)
 Becoming homeless
 Arguing, fighting, or violence among family members
In any of these situations, daily family life will be disrupted, at least for a time. Resulting changes in
routine can upset infants as well as older children. These children lose a sense of predictability and
security when they do not know what to expect next. This can cause children to become irritable, have
problems eating and sleeping, and become clingy or demanding.

In some families, the stressor is a temporary condition. For example, the loss of a parent's job may be
short lived as the parent seeks a new job. With other stressors, family life is permanently changed,
such as with a death or divorce. Extra support from friends, extended family, and the community may
be needed to cope with a permanent stressor.

Being constantly active from morning to night causes another, less intense type of stress. In a family
with this schedule, a young child's needs may be overlooked as parents and older siblings rush to meet
their obligations. Both children and adults need time to unwind and be together as a family. Family
time and relaxation help people ward off the harmful effects of stress.

Handling family stressors of any type is difficult for young children. The intensity of a child's reaction
will depend on how threatening the stressor is. Children feel worse if they believe they have caused a
divorce, separation, death, or other family crisis. Feeling their behaviour caused the crisis leads
children to feel guilty. Explaining that a crisis is not a child's fault can be helpful.

Effects of Stress

Prolonged stress in early childhood can undermine healthy brain development. A child depends on his
or her environment for experiences that will promote optimal brain development. Stimulation from
caregivers also influences the mind. That is why consistent, predictable, and responsive care is needed.

Good beginnings can last a lifetime. Healthy relationships promote brain growth and healthy social
attachment. A strong, secure attachment to a nurturing caregiver appears to provide a protective
biological structure. It buffers children from the effects of stress. Studies show children with strong,
secure attachments have fewer behavioural problems when confronted with stress throughout life.

Signs of Stress

When family stability is disrupted, this can often be observed in the children's behaviour. A frequent
sign of stress is regression. Regression means showing behaviours that were typical at earlier stages
of development. Toileting accidents and thumb-sucking are examples. A child who has used the toilet
successfully for some time may begin to have accidents. Likewise, a child who had given up thumb-
sucking might revert to soothing himself or herself with this habit.

In addition to regression, many other behaviour changes can indicate children are stressed. Being
aware of the common signs of stress listed in figure below is also helpful. Sometimes, however, these
behaviours can be unrelated to stress. How then can you determine which signs are caused by stress?
Knowing the typical behaviour of each child in your class helps you note these behaviour changes.
Communicating with Families About Stress

A partnership with families is important to support children’s development. Two-way communication

between teachers and families is vital. Teachers should realise the important role families play in
children's lives and vice versa.

Families have a responsibility to support children through times of stress and crisis. Children depend
on and turn to family members (especially parents) to protect them from the effects of stress. Parents
can often provide the comfort children need to overcome stress. By their example, parents teach
children how to cope with stress and handle problems.
As an Advisor, you can help children handle stress when you are aware of family situations that could
affect the child's behaviour. Ask parents to keep you informed of any major family events, such as
births and deaths. Events that change the structure of the family are also important, such as marriage,
separation, or divorce. Children need the loving support of family and teachers through these times
of adjustment.

If a child's behaviour changes suddenly, share with the family the signs of stress you have noticed. Ask
what they think might be causing the stress. Work with family members to plan ways to help the

child and address the troubling behaviour. As with other guidance issues, children benefit the most
when there is consistency of guidance between parents and teachers.

Recognise, however, that crises in the family will affect parents, too. During a divorce, for example,
children are not the only ones hurting - parents suffer the loss as well. While your main focus is helping
the children, you want to approach this task in the most sensitive and relevant way. Listen to the
parents and offer kind words to let them know you understand they must be hurting. If family
members seem open to suggestions, you may be able to refer them to community resources that can
help.

Helping Children Cope with Trauma

Along with parents, teachers and care providers are among the most important adults in helping
children recover from natural disasters and other crises. Empathetic teachers and care providers are
crucial in providing a safe, stable environment. A sense of safety and belonging contributes to the
ability of children to cope with trauma.

Teachers and care providers can help children cope with trauma through the following:

 Show they care by reassuring children they will be okay.

 Avoid television programming that shows disaster-related events.
 Show empathy for what children are going through and take time to listen to them.
 Help them feel welcome if they have been displaced from their homes.
 Provide a variety of ways for children to express their reactions to disasters and tell their
stories of survival. Using the creative arts often helps students’ express emotions.

Helping Children Cope

Stress affects children as much or more than it affects adults. Unlike adults, however, children lack the
skills to understand and handle the pressures. As an Advisor, you can help children develop positive
responses to stress.

When you note that a child's behaviour has changed, observe the child more carefully. Calmly accept
the child's behaviour, if possible. (Of course, hurtful or unsafe behaviour would be an exception to
this. You must gently but firmly stop these behaviours.) Criticizing a child for his or her response to
stress only leads the child to feel more stress. For example, scolding a child for thumb-sucking in
response to stress may make the child feel badly about himself or herself. Talk to the child about his
or her feelings. Reassure the child you care about him or her. Offer comfort, closeness, and
encouragement.
Provide a supportive, affectionate environment. Children exhibit less stress when parents/teachers
are attentive. Observe carefully and really listen to the children. Talk with children about their feelings.
Help them recognise, label, and clarify their feelings. Teach them coping behaviours. Use effective
praise and acknowledge the child's actions, feelings, and progress. Correct any misconceptions
children have about themselves or their feelings to help children see themselves as positive,
worthwhile people.

Specific Problem Behaviours

Young children often behave in a socially unacceptable way when they are tense. Negativism, theft,
anger, biting, exploration of the body, thumb-sucking, and fear are all possible reactions to tension.
These reactions remind us children are people, too. You must deal with and guide their behaviour,
just as you would an adult.

Negativism

Preschool children can be negative, particularly between two and three years of age. It is not unusual
for a child of this age to oppose every request you make. Children at this age are wanting to become
more independent. A "no" in many cases is a child's attempt at independence. For instance, you may
say "Pick up the box." The child might look at you and say "No."

Handling Negative Behaviours

Accept a young child's negative behaviour. However, keep in mind all health and safety regulations.
For example, children must wash their hands before eating. If a child refuses to do this, take the child's
hands and walk him or her to the sink. Tell the child "You need to wash your hands." Let the child
know, through your voice and body language, that you expect cooperation.

A negative child cannot be hurried. If he or she is hurried, opposition will be stronger. Given time,
most children outgrow this stage of development.

Stealing

Preschool children do not understand the difference between mine and yours. When children under
three years of age take something, they are not stealing. At this age, children do not understand the
concept of stealing. Before considering the needs of others, pre-schoolers attempt to meet their own
needs. The desire for something appealing may combine with a young child's natural impulsiveness.
As a result, they may take items that do not belong to them.

Handling Stealing

Help children learn to respect the possessions of others. If you see a child take something, do not ask
the reason he or she stole it. Likewise, do not lecture about stealing. Instead, make the child return it.
Otherwise, the child may keep taking things from others. Remember that pre-schoolers do not
understand ownership.

A useful way to teach children about ownership is to respect their property rights. For example, before
trying Jaya's new puzzle, ask her permission to use it. If you see another child looking at Jaya's toy, say
"Why don't you ask Jaya if you can use it?" You should also try to minimize opportunities for stealing.
When children bring toys or other items from home, problems can occur.

Anger

A child's anger can serve a useful purpose. Anger draws attention to something that annoys the child.
You can then help that child learn to deal with anger.

The greatest number of tantrums typically occur at about 18 months of age. After this age, there is a
sharp decline. Age also affects how a child will project anger. Young children often use their whole
bodies to express anger. By age two, children may hold their breath for as long as they can. Screaming,
kicking, hitting, pounding, and hitting one's head against a wall are other ways these children express
anger. By the time children turn three, verbal abuse is more common, while four- year-olds often
engage in name-calling.

Handling Anger

Discourage hurting behaviour. Young children should not be allowed to hit each other. However, they
will try. When they do, stop them immediately. Say "I am sorry, but Sonu does not like that." At the
same time, you might have to hold the child's hand. The child may try to hit you. Stop that action also.
For older pre-schoolers, you may also use comments. For example, you may say "You are usually kind.
We cannot treat our friends this way." When young children are upset, they need calming down.

Ignoring outbursts is also a successful technique when dealing with an angry child. Of course, ignore
this behaviour only if there is no threat to the health and safety of the children. If children are able to
get attention or gain control through outbursts, they will keep using this behaviour. For example, if
Karina cries and yells for another cookie and then receives one, she will cry and yell again. On the
other hand, if she does not receive the cookie, she will learn that her outburst is unacceptable.

The children need to express their feelings and assert their rights in socially acceptable ways. You can
redirect anger through activities such as finger painting, modelling with clay, punching a pillow/bag
and playing at the sensory table. All these activities involve use of children's hands, arms, and legs.
Their anger will be redirected into physical movements. Use a minimum of rules.

Surprisingly, noise can also help relieve aggression. Yelling, beating drums, dancing to loud music,
crying, and making animal noises can all relieve anger. Remember, however, that noise can be
catching. If several children make too much noise, the rest of the group may also become noisy.

Whenever possible, catch children before they react angrily. For instance, if you see that Meera is
going to kick over Tara’s blocks, stop her. Then say, "Meera, would you like Tina to knock over your
blocks?" Meera will be forced to think about what she was going to do.

Biting

Young children often bite when they are upset. This is not unusual behaviour, particularly with two-
year-olds. For many children, biting is only a temporary problem. Biting usually peaks just before
children are able to use words. Children may bite because they cannot express themselves using
words. For them, biting is a form of body language.
Biting can be a reason for a class meeting. For instance, Maya called a class meeting in her classroom
at group time. She said, "We have a problem in our classroom. We cannot bite our friends. When you
think someone is going to bite, hold up your hands and say stop."

Maya's meeting was successful. Whenever a child held up his or her hands and said "Stop," the impulse
of the child to bite was broken. It also signalled to the teacher that there was a potential problem.

Handling Biting

You need to help children who bite. Start by keeping playtime simple for these children. Limit the
number of playmates they may have at any time. Large groups often create stressful situations.
Therefore, biters become nervous and then bite.

You need to respond quickly to prevent children from hurting each other. Isolation of a biter
sometimes helps to curb this habit. When the child bites another, say, "Pankaj does not like that."
Then say, "I am sorry, but you must sit down over here." Make the child sit for a few minutes, but no
longer than five. Then, allow the child to return to the play area.

Do not forget the child who has been bitten. This child also needs to feel secure. To provide security,
observe constantly. Never allow a child to bite back. Biting back does not prevent biting. It only creates
more aggressive behaviour.

Tattling

Tattling seems to occur in many classrooms and is a typical behaviour for many young children.
Frequently, the child who tattles is insecure and tattles to get your attention. As a teacher, you may
find tattling irritating, but you need to listen to the children. You want the children to be aware that
classroom limits are important. You do not need to be told, however, each time a child misbehaves.

Handling Tattling

To prevent tattling, try to build children's self-esteem. This, in turn, will make them feel more secure.
For a child who is insecure, stay close while supervising. Knowing that a caring adult is nearby is
helpful.

Try to have a daily one-to-one time for listening and talking with each child. This may be during free
play or small group time. During this time, provide the child feedback by recognising his or her positive
qualities. To illustrate, you may say, "Shyam, I like the way you help Madhur" or "Ela, Bhanu enjoys
having you help him with the puzzle." Positive reinforcement will help prevent a child's need to tattle.

Try ignoring tattling behaviour. If Jawahar tattles to you that Reena has taken his scissors, comment
by saying "You need to tell Reena to return your scissors."

This encourages Jawahar to speak to the child who has misbehaved. Likewise, if Yogesh tattles that
Julie has taken his bicycle, encourage problem solving. Say "Julie has taken your bike. What should
you do?" If Kailash always talks about other children, set a limit by saying "I enjoy talking with you, but
we shouldn't talk about others."

Exploring the Body

Children begin to explore their bodies early in life. It is common for one-year-olds to explore their
genitals during diaper changing. As children begin to gain control of their body functions, interest in
the genital area grows. By three years of age, children are aware of sex differences. Boys may, in fact,
become concerned because girls do not have penises. By age four, children who have to use the
bathroom may hold the genital area. When this occurs, remind the child to use the bathroom. By five
years of age, children may begin to manipulate their genitals. They may do this by rubbing pillows
between their legs or squeezing their thighs together tightly. Some children may rub their genitals in
an effort to reduce irritation caused by tight clothing.

Handling Body Exploration

Exploration of the body is normal behaviour in development. However, it is not considered proper to
engage in such behaviour in public. Therefore, it is important to guide children away from public
display of body exploration.

During naptime, you might see children touching themselves. Children sometimes rub their genitals
while trying to get to sleep. When this occurs, never shame or threaten the child. Remember,
whenever possible, use a positive approach when guiding young children. This can be done by firmly
telling a child privately that this behaviour is impolite in public.

Thumb-sucking

Like adults, children feel certain tensions. To relieve the tension, some children may suck their thumbs.
Studies show that almost half of all infants suck their fingers or thumbs. By 18 months, thumb-sucking
usually reaches its peak. Then the behaviour becomes less frequent, especially during the day. By four
or five years of age, children who suck their thumbs usually only do so before they go to bed. Children
of this age will sometimes engage in thumb-sucking if they are tired.

Many parents are concerned about thumb-sucking. Reassure them that usually there is no need to
worry about this behaviour. Encourage them to accept this behaviour as a normal stage of growth.
Most children outgrow thumb-sucking by six or seven years of age.

Handling Thumb-sucking

Children's urge to suck may be satisfied by supplying a pacifier. One advantage of a pacifier is that it
does not place pressure on the roof of the mouth or the jaw. When they're ready, most children give
up their pacifiers. In fact, some children may have an intense sucking need for only the first few
months of life. When these children stop using their pacifiers, they can be taken away permanently.
If, however, a child reverts to sucking fingers or thumbs, return the pacifier.

If you notice thumb-sucking, do not pull the thumb out of the child's mouth. This guidance may not
be successful. In some cases, it might cause the child to increase thumb-sucking. During the first three
years, the harder you try to stop thumb-sucking, the stronger it becomes. Instead, accept and ignore
the behaviour. In this way, children will usually stop thumb-sucking between four and five years of
age.

Attending a child care program may help curb thumb-sucking for some children. At the centre, the
child will find many new interests and friends. As a result, you may not notice thumb-sucking. Many
times children will only suck their thumbs when they lie down for naps or are tired.
The Effect of Thumb-sucking on Teeth

Parents may be concerned that thumb-sucking will affect children’s facial appearance or damage
teeth. Dentists state that there is no cause to worry if thumb-sucking stops before permanent teeth
erupt. However, after about age four, it is a good idea to start breaking the child of the habit.

Fear

Every child experiences fear.

By three years of age, most children have many kinds of fear. Some fears will be real while others will
be imaginary. As the child grows, real fears will be kept. Imaginary fears will be outgrown.

Common childhood fears include falling from high places, putting faces in water, thunder, the dark,
people in uniforms, ambulances and animals. Fear of the unknown is also common in young children.
You may see this fear on the first day of school. Children may cry, cling, and refuse to leave their
parents. As the teacher, be prepared for this fear. Inform parents in advance that this is a common
fear.

Handling Fear

Understanding children's fear is important in guiding young children. For example, fear of the dark is
quite common among young children. You may notice this fear at naptime or when a video is being
shown. Understand that this behaviour is due to unfamiliar surroundings. These children cannot sleep
or concentrate on videos. Instead, the children may focus on scary images formed by the shadows in
the darkened room. Help these children by keeping a small light turned on during these times. Then
the room will not be totally dark. Also, allow children to keep a familiar stuffed toy or blanket near
them.

Accept children's fears. For young children, even the silliest fear is real. When something happens and
a child cries, give the child immediate attention. You may wish to hold the child's hand, put your arms
around the child, or hold the child on your lap. When you do this, you are meeting the child's
immediate needs. After the crisis, talk to the child about the fear.

Talking with children can also help them control fear. For example, Manish visited his cousin Chhaya.
When he returned to school, Manish told his classmates that the house had ghosts. Manish's teacher
was observant. He talked to Manish about his visit with Chhaya. He explained that sleeping in strange
places is often frightening because it is new.

Jarena was afraid of the new rabbit. Fortunately for Jarena, her teacher was understanding. She
helped Jarena face her fear by introducing her to the rabbit in gradual steps. First, she asked Jarena to
place a carrot in the cage. Then she encouraged Jarena to watch the rabbit eat. The next day she
encouraged Jarena to touch the rabbit's fur. Jarena continued this for about one week. Her teacher
did not rush Jarena. Finally, she asked Jarena if she wanted to hold the rabbit. Jarena said yes. Jarena’s
teacher carefully and slowly took the rabbit from the cage and placed it on Jarena’s lap.

When children feel unsafe or strange, they may reject a person or situation. For example, a child may
greet a new tutor with "Go away, I hate you." If this happens, do not scold the child. Telling the child
that he or she likes the tutor will not help either. Instead, accept the child's feelings. You may say "Miss
Bhavya is our new teacher. When you get to know her, you will learn to like her."
Children will sometimes hit others when they are afraid. For instance, a person brought a large snake
to show the children. When Jasmin saw the snake, she began to act aggressively. She hit Sushma and
Pankaj. The teacher then stepped in. She explained to Jasmin that her friends might be frightened,
too. She then explained to Jasmin that this type of snake was not dangerous. There was no need to
fear it.