Northgate High School

Senior Project ​Mentor/Expert Critique 

Dear Mentor/Expert, 
 
Thank you for agreeing to critique this paper for ​Jack Feliciano​. With this form, the student should 
provide the most recent draft of his/her Senior Project paper. Please read the paper for content, keeping 
in mind it will be revised. The English teacher will critique the paper for requirements, appropriate style, 
and mechanics. You are to read to ensure that the facts and research are accurate and sufficient. 
 
Please make comments on the margins of the draft, answer the questions on this sheet, and feel free to 
add any additional comments on the back. This paper is a requirement for the student’s graduation, so 
your help is appreciated. 
 
1. Is there any misinformation or has the writer made any factual errors? yes _____ no __​x​___ 
Comments: 
 
● there is nothing that I would call misinformation but rather bad analysis 
● everything is factually correct but Jack fails to consider logical counterarguments 
● the arguments on scripture are somewhat invalid 
 
2. Can you suggest sources for additional research for this topic, such as materials to read or watch 
and persons to interview? 
 
● https://plato.stanford.edu/ 
● https://www.iep.utm.edu/ 
● https://www.rep.routledge.com/ 
 
3. What information can you give to help the student improve the content of the paper (including 
your own knowledge of the topic)? 
 
● I’ve seen the overall structure of the paper...look into the following for stronger arguments: 
○ power patterns of the early church 
○ tendencies that controlled medieval societies 
○ post-fall teachings and discrimination 
○ teachings of non-secular philosophers 
■ thomas aquinas 
■ ignatius 
 
4. I have read this paper and discussed my comments with the student. yes ___​x​__ no _____ 
 
Mentor’s name and qualifications: ​Jillian Jay; philosophy TA, youth ministry counselor at San Agustin 
Church Manila, ​____________________________________________________ 
Mentor’s signature: ​Jillian Jay​______________________________________________________________ 
Phone number: ​+639178122063​_______________________________________________ 
Mentor’s Email Address: ​jillianfjay0526@gmail.com​__________________________________