Aniket Dixit

“_The Perks
Of My
Agony_”
‘Waltz
in an
extraordinary
journey
of so ambitious
a writer’
_Poem 1_
 ‘To Jessica and Aliya’
Look up in all possible brawls,

You’ll find me, a victim of assaults

Pleading for a haven, a wall

To lay my back, time these ‘withdrawals’

‘Cause I’ve invested in friendships,

I maybe blind, but nor do I sense this

‘Interest’ which I used to, I hope it’s coy

Before they right me I’m bereft of joy,

Jessica is right they’re delaying aid for better

I know I’m wrong for they’ll return,

Spent so many ‘good’ days, together

They never left me once.

Look up in all possible brawls,

 You’ll find me, a victim of assaults

Crawling to somehow save, overhaul

What I destroyed, yes, my fault

AIiya, I shouldn’t have fallen

As Jessica told, you’re calling

Me to tell that they shan’t return,

Like that mist once high the sun,

Here comes bad times

I hope God shall guide me,

They left but lesson grasp I

Always make friends wisely.

//Was Confused as to whether I should’ve waited

And hoped to be escaped by ones that drowned me//

_Poem 2_
 ‘Beautiful’
Never let liars tell, you aren’t beautiful

Nor believe if they say you are,

For they’d be lying still,

For, for me I’d envision you instead

Of the word, if I’d have a chance to describe

Another soul so full of eternal light.

I used to wonder true meaning of happiness

The actual state of being ecstatic,

Till I felt that klieg rush when I first met you,

How I became the addict which I am

Of yourself, I still remember how I forgot

All Maria, and ‘be yours’ was my only thought.

Maria’s the being personifying self doubts’

Answers I lack, the faith of a true believer

Thinking and envisaging whom, he feels safe

The writer ‘me’ wouldn’t be jotting but pain

If not for Maria. Worst if I lose you for to be true

I will never find someone so beautiful like you.

//Conflicted near death, I didn’t even have love//

_Poem 3_
 ‘Did as I saw’
Momma said “beware of ‘karma’,

Betrayers rotted for ‘Zafar’ died in Burma,

Son, you shall always weep and mourn

If your hands somehow lead one to be torn”

I thought, though I was raised a peace maker,

‘But won’t I be boring, if I’m a weak bearer

Of a white flag? Won’t I be timid if I stood

Criticizing these gang wars? Yes, I would’.

She said “don’t communicate but not hate

One you don’t like”, they didn’t appreciate

As they had condescending confronts to draw,

Never really had problems, I did as I saw.

Never really knew this boy I beat up,

 A friend’s senior asked to take our vehicle

And anyhow reach the location he’d send,

Carrying all we could, and not just avenge

The fact he didn’t let our leader ‘befriend’

His sister but teach that our man’s the end

One won’t want to meet, one neither did we

Besides I also wanted to impress him, see

I had seen obscene things happening lately

Fights, abuses, plight, delusions so safety

And a strong back up were just mere tools

Must needed I in school plus, he was so cool

So no second thoughts, lying ‘bout classes

Went to place, broke this stranger’s glasses

And then his bones too, baffled and bruised

And lessoned and scared, left him mid noon

Far from his father’s shop of shoes, an outlaw

For first time, worse, a mind I’d gnawed

I knew I’d done wrong but had a clause

“I have seen it all I just did what I saw”.

//Though I argued ethics that relayed, to sustain it//

_Poem 4_
 ‘Felt’
Suddenly I was with sadistic thoughts,

A victim myself, I envisioned assaults.

‘Conquer the world with an iron fist’,

Gist of it, ‘bullying was one new assist

To me, to my dead case, new testimony,

Finally a power had been vested to me,

After so wrong done to me, to judge

Appeals of those bullies who budged

Almost never out of mercy, my penance,

And patience never helped me, a menace

Born out of a saint raised in hell, felt ‘dwell

As long as you will to, on “useless” jewels

Of your morals, but you’ll only holler

For you would be tempted to bother’.

Not for nothing I went an irrational rebel

I felt failed by angels, caught by devils

I’d been beat up too, and I was like “it feels,

I got to beat you to not seek me a beating”.

//Subconsciously aware I was wrong, but past taught else//

_Poem 5_