THE GIRLFRIEND SYSTEM

INTRODUCTION

MASCULINE POWER

  MASCULINE POWER (CONT)

Q&A WITH ALEX
 
NICK SPARKS ON SEXUALITY
  JASON CAPITAL ON BEING A CHALLENGE

  ALEX ON BEING GENUINE

DAVID ON DOMINANCE
 
BOYFRIEND MATERIAL

  Q&A
THE OBSESSION STORY
 
INTRODUCTION TO DAY 2
  KING GAME

NICK ON IMPRESSION
 
WHAT TO SAY
 
RESETTING IMPRESSION

 
INSPECTION

THE FIRST DATE

 
THE SOCIAL DATE
  THE SEX DATE

INTIMACY
 
CONCLUSION
 

ALL MATERIAL © THE SOCIAL MAN. ANY UNAUTHORIZED REPRODUCTION IS IN

VIOLATION OF COPYRIGHTS, AND WILL LEAD TO FIVE YEARS OF BAD SEX  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM     INTRODUCTION
 

CHAPTER 1 - INTRODUCTION

Hey  guys,  welcome,  I'm  Christian  Hudson  and  thank  you  very  much  for  being  here  
today.  The  goal  of  the  next  two  days  is  to  get  you  a  girlfriend,  plain  and  simple.  
With  that  said,  there's  a  lot  of  stuff  that  we'll  be  learning  that  you  can  use  to  
enjoy  your  life  and  play  the  field,  and  all  that  good  stuff  too.

This  is  a  step-­‐by-­‐step  system  for  getting  a  girlfriend,  from  before  you  meet  her,  to  
the  moment  that  she's  your  loyal,  loving  girlfriend,  as  we  like  to  say.  This  is  real,  
it's  tested,  it  works.  It's  sort  of  scary  for  me,  as  I  went  through  and  created  this  
presentation.  I  was  like,  it  seems  so  contrived  to  me,  the  fact  that  I've  laid  it  out  
so  step-­‐by-­‐step.  

I've  been  in  a  relationship  for  the  last  two  and  a  half  years,  but  if  I  were  to  get  out  
of  a  relationship  right  now  and  actually  start  dating  new  girls,  this  is  exactly  what  I  
would  do.  That  seems  sort  of  weird  to  me  because  it's  like,  wow,  this  has  actually  
gotten  results  for  me  in  the  past,  and  it  would  continue  to.    

I've  heard  from  a  lot  other  guys.  This  is  version  two  that  we're  putting  together  
right  now,  some  of  you  have  seen  version  one,  a  lot  of  guys  have  come  up  to  me  
and  said,  "Hey  man,  I  love  version  one,  and  I  watched  it,  and  I  got  a  girlfriend."  
We've  just  gotten  a  lot  of  great  feedback  from  that.    

But,  I  created  this  version  because  the  course  has  just  been  selling  beyond  my  
wildest  expectations  and  I  just  wanted  to  deliver  something  that  was  even  better  
than  what  was  in  version  one.  And  I  wanted  to  match  it  up  with  some  of  the  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM     INTRODUCTION
 
things  we're  talking  about  specifically  the  obsessions  story  and  so  that's  what  
we're  going  to  be  talking  about  today.  

Take  a  moment  to  introduce  myself  for  those  who  don't  know  me,  or  don't  know  
my  background.  Some  of  you  who  are  sitting  here  probably  have  a  little  bit  more  
context,  but  we  sell  a  lot  of  these  to  people  who  never  heard  of  me,  so  I  think  it's  
worth  just  taking  a  moment  to  get  some  context  with  who  I  am  here.  

I  sort  of  think  of  myself  as  an  entrepreneur,  not  a  dating  coach.  But  the  press  I've  
gotten  all  says  dating  coach.  I  was  very,  very  insecure  until  my  early  thirties,  and  I  
always  managed  to  cover  it  up  in  various  ways.  Whether  it  was  through  a  nice  car,  
or  being  in  relationships,  or  what  have  you.    

I'll  go  through  a  few  of  the  phases  here.  Finally  got  a  handle  on  it  in  my  early  
thirties.  A  lot  of  what  I'll  be  sharing  with  you  here  and  what  I  share  in  other  
courses  like  the  Ten  Code  and  we  just  filmed  Ignition  last  weekend,  is  stuff  that  
I've  learned  over  the  years.  

The  first  phase  of,  I'd  say  my  ego-­‐ic  development,  where  my  ego  started  to  
congeal,  was  my  first  girlfriend.  We  dated  for  four  years,  I  was  seventeen  when  
we  started  dating,  twenty-­‐one  when  we  broke  up.  It  was  a  very  bad  relationship,  
that  I  stayed  in  for  far  too  long  because  I  was  insecure  and  didn't  want  to  lose  a  
beautiful  girl.  

When  we  did  break  up,  it  was  funny,  the  week  we  broke  up,  was  the  same  week  
that  my  software  company  got  funded.  We  had  gone  out  and  we  had  raised  some  
money  for  the  software  company  we  built,  and  I  went  right  from  being  in  a  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM     INTRODUCTION
 
relationship  with  her,  to  having  and  being  a  college  student,  to  dropping  out  of  
college  and  having  what  was  at  the  time  a  very  large  income  for  me.    

I  went  out,  I  bought  a  bunch  of  really  nice  clothes,  I  got  an  Audi  TT,  and  I  just  
really  douched  it  out.  Like  if  you  had  seen  me  walking  around,  I  thought  I  was  
cool,  I  was  actually,  major  douche-­‐bag.  I  was  just  trying  to  cover  up  my  
insecurities  and  be  the  guy  who  I  thought  she  would  want  to  be  with,  and  be  
jealous  of,  if  she  saw  me  now.  I  was  having  no  success  with  women  during  this  
phase,  not  really  surprisingly.    

Then,  there  was  this  phase  where  I  met  this  girl,  Christine,  who  you  all  might  have  
heard  of  that  was  the  pivotal  moment  in  my  life,  where  I  was  like,  "OK,  I  have  to  
get  this  shit  handled."  I  had  a  major  crush  on  her,  I  spent  $600  on  three  dates  
with  her.  That  is  a  true  story.  Guys  see  the  marketing,  they're  like,  "That's  not  a  
true  story",  I'm  like,    "Actually,  that  is  a  true  story."  That's  when  I  knew  I  needed  
to  get  this  stuff  handled.    

I  was  running  a  software  company  at  the  time,  and  really  stuffy  dude,  and  when  I  
discovered,  like  when  that  incident  happened  everything  changed.  I  stopped  
buttoning  up  my  suits  to  eleven,  stopped  being  so  stuffy.  Started  partying  a  little  
bit,  started  going  out,  started  learning  about  how  to  talk  to  girls.  

So  much  so,  that  I  just  really  stopped  giving  a  shit  about  what  was  going  on  at  my  
software  company.  This  is  also  due  to  some  internal  factors  and  some  things  that  
were  going  on  there.  Eventually  I  got  fired  from  my  own  company.  We  failed  to  
raise  around  the  capital  that  was  needed  to  keep  operations  going  and  our  CEO  
that  I  had  hired  had  to  let  me  go.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM     INTRODUCTION
 
So,  this  led  me  to  return  to  college,  and  at  that  point  I  was  just  planning  on  
probably  moving  to  Hawaii  and  getting  a  motorcycle  and  I  was  going  to  the  
University  of  Michigan  at  the  time,  I  was,  "You  know  what?  I'm  just  going  to  go  to  
the  University  of  Hawaii,  bar  tend,  surf,  ride  a  motorcycle  and  love  my  life."  

I  met  a  guy  who  I  would  go  on  to  start  a  company  with  a  few  weeks  later,  who  
ended  up  being  featured  in  a  book  called  The  Game  that  some  of  you  all  might  
have  heard  of.  Kind  of  popular  for  guys  our  age.  

We  started  this  company  together  and  we  were  all  of  the  sudden,  when  The  
Game  came  out,  like  the  business  just  exploded.  We  were  traveling  around  the  
world,  teaching  guys  how  to  talk  to  girls,  and  I  was  running  the  business  from  the  
back  of  my  history  class.  It  was  a  pretty  crazy  time,  and  I  actually  started  to  get  
better  with  women.  

Things  kind  of  fell  apart  with  this  guy,  we  didn't  really  see  eye  to  eye.  I  had  moved  
to  New  York,  and  it  didn't  really  work  out.  I  found  that  I  wasn't  really  happy  living  
that  lifestyle.  We  parted  ways  and  I  started,  there  was  a  brief  period  where  I  
started  a  Jello  shot  company.  

 I  don't  know  if  any  of  you  all  have  heard  about  that?  It  was  caffeinated,  alcohol  
Jello  shots  in  these  little  foil  packets.  Most  amazing  products  I've  probably  ever  
put  my  hands  on,  so  amazing  that  the  Alcohol  Tobacco  and  Trade  Bureau  did  not  
let  us  bring  it  to  market,  because  it  was  that  good.  

I  was  massively  in  debt  at  the  time,  I  was  close  to  $100,000  in  debt  just  from  
being  very  irresponsible  when  I  moved  to  New  York,  I  was  partying  all  the  time,  I  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM     INTRODUCTION
 
was  just  going  out,  I  was  trying  to  run  this  company,  I'd  been  living  off  credit  
cards,  and  that's  when  I  started  what's  now  The  Social  Man.  I  was  like,  "I  don't  
know  how  to  do  anything  else  except  for  teach  guys  how  to  talk  to  girls  and  web  
development,  so  I  should  probably  figure  out  how  to  combine  those  two  things".  
Started  doing  coaching  again,  put  a  website  together.  This  became  that,  became  
the  next  thing  and  that  sort  of  leads  me  to  where  we  are  here  today.  

One  of  the  big  phases  of  my  life  that  happened  during  The  Social  Man  was  a  move  
from  partying  all  the  time  and  going  nuts  and  club  nights,  and  Tuesday  nights  until  
4  AM  being  out,  being  drunk,  and  then  waking  up  and  doing  it  the  next  night.  
Which  was  a  very  fun  phase  and  there's  much  to  recommend,  that  sort  of  
lifestyle,  but  moving  from  that  phase,  to  one  of  maturation  and  reconciliation  
with  my  past.    

Again,  a  lot  of  the  things  that  I'll  be  sharing  with  you  here,  especially  about  what  
I'll  call  Boyfriend  Value  and  the  things  it  takes  to  be  a  guy  who  a  woman  who  
would  ultimately  want  to  be  in  a  long  term  relation  with,  are  things  that  came  to  
be  evident  to  me  as  I  was  going  through  that  phase.  

Right  now  the  phase  of  life  that  I'm  in  I'd  like  to  call  On  My  Grind.  I  just  work  all  
the  time,  and  I'd  like  to  work,  actually,  a  little  bit  less.  I've  been  working  every  
night  this  week  till  about  1:30  AM.  But,  I  truly  believe  in  this  business,  we've  got  a  
fantastic  team  who  we  work  with.    

I  love  the  mission  that  I  have  to  share  these  things  that  I've  learned  with  the  
world  and  the  opportunity  that  I  have  to  sit  in  front  of  you  guys  today,  so  that  is  a  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM     INTRODUCTION
 
little  bit  of  background  about  me  for  the  rest  of  it,  there  may  be  an  un-­‐authorized  
biography  at  some  point  in  my  future.  We  shall  see  about  that.  

What  you'll  learn  today,  let's  just  do  a  little  table  of  contents  before  we  start  
jumping  into  the  main  material  is,  as  you  know,  a  lot  of  what  we're  learning  today  
is  based  on  things  that  I  picked  when  I  was  reading  some  Literotica.  

For  those  of  you  who  aren't  familiar  with  Literotica,  it's  the  number  one  E-­‐book  
category  on  Amazon.com.  It  is  every  woman's  deep  dark  secrets,  and  so  a  lot  of  
what  we  learn  today  is  stuff  I  pulled  from  there,  started  to  figure  out  how  this  
works  and  connected  the  dots  between  things  I  had  learned  and  the  pick-­‐up  
community  in  my  own  life  and  brought  them  all  together  to  make  this  course  that  
we'll  all  be  talking  about  today.  

It  starts,  and  this  is  what  we  will  actually  start  with  in  this  program.  It  starts  with  
being  a  man  who  women  obsess  over.  Being  what  I  call  the  Obvious  Choice.  We're  
going  to  spend  a  little  bit  of  time,  in  fact  most  of  the  time  today,  will  be  spent  
talking  about  being  that  man  who  women  obsess  over.  If  you  read  Literotica,  
there  are  always  character  traits  that  these  guys  have.  I've  distilled  those  
character  traits  and  we  will  be  discussing  them.  

This  will  also  happen  today.  I'll  show  you  the  social  dynamics  of  the  game.  So,  like,  
we  talk  about  the  obsession  story.  I  basically  be  linking  the  obsession  story  to  
some  underlying  dynamics.  We  talk  about  value  and  investment.  To  give  you  a  
little  bit  more  context  about  how  that  relates  to  the  obsession  story.  Then,  we'll  
actually  link  that  to  check  points  in  the  dating  process,  so  meeting  her,  first  date,  
second  date,  all  that.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM     INTRODUCTION
 
As  you're  going  through  and  dating  girls  and  taking  them  out,  you'll  be  able  to  
understand  that  you're  like,  "OK,  I'm  in  this  phase  right  now  and  this  is  how  she  
feels  about  me."  You'll  have  a  much  deeper  understanding,  because  I  don't  like  to  
just  give  step-­‐by-­‐steps,  I  like  to  be  able  to  give  you  guys  context,  so  if  something  
goes  wrong,  and  we're  human  beings  and  there's  always  things  that  go  wrong  
with  human  beings,  if  something  goes  wrong,  you  know  the  theory  behind  what's  
going  on  and  you  see  it  a  little  bit  deeper,  so  you  can  react  accordingly.  

Then,  this  will  be  tomorrow,  we'll  spend  a  whole  day  giving  you  strategies  and  
tactics  you  need  to,  I  have  in  my  slides,  to  win  the  game.  That  sounds  a  little  bit,  
zero  sum,  like  she  loses  and  you  win.  That's  not  it  at  all,  but  I  will  be  showing  you  
the  strategies  and  the  tactics  you  need  to  win  the  game  and  go  from  meeting  her  
to  dating  her,  to  sleeping  with  her,  to  being  your  girlfriend.  
 
That  will  be  all  day  tomorrow  and  that's  what  the  course  is  all  about.  So  with  that  
introduction  out  of  the  way,  we're  going  to  move  on  to  the  next  segment  here  
shortly,  which  is  being  a  man  who  women,  obsess  over.

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER
 

CHAPTER 2 – MASCULINE POWER

We’re  going  to  start  the  day  by  talking  about  how  to  be  the  man  who  women  
obsess  over.    What  presumably  brought  a  lot  of  you  here  is  the  “obsession  story”.    
I’m  going  to  give  you  the  obsession  story  right  now  in  a  nutshell  and  then  
everything  that  flows  from  this  moment  forward  is  going  to  be  based  on  this  little  
core  that  we’re  talking  about  right  here.  

If  you  had  to  distill  the  obsession  story  down  into  a  few  words,  which  I  did,  you’d  
say  that  a  woman  wants  to  feel  your  masculine  power  and  be  overwhelmed  by  it.    
I’m  going  to  repeat  that.    A  woman  wants  to  feel  your  masculine  power  and  be  
overwhelmed  by  it.      

When  I  first  came  up  with  that  I  thought  it  sounded  a  little  rapey  and  that’s  not  
what  I  mean,  so  let  me  distill  what  I  mean  by  masculine  power  and  being  
overwhelmed  by  it.    It  gets  a  little  dictionary  definition  heavy,  but  I  think  this  will  
help  give  you  guys  some  context.  

Masculine  power  is  a  distinct  energy  that  comes  from  a  dominant  man.    We’re  
going  to  show  you  guy’s  dominance  in  just  a  moment.    Distinct  energy  that  comes  
from  a  dominant  man  with  a  good  heart,  positive  intentions  whose  life  is  an  
adventure  and  who  strives  for  success.      

I’ll  repeat  that  one  more  time  somewhat  slowly.    A  distinct  energy  that  comes  
from  a  dominant  man  with  a  good  heart,  positive  intentions  whose  life  is  an  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER
 
adventure  and  who  strives  for  success.    That  to  me  in  the  characters  that  I  saw  is  
masculine  power.  

What  is  it  to  be  overwhelmed  by  it?    That,  again,  I’ve  seen  guys  who  overwhelm  
women  and  it’s  never  cool,  but  what  is  it  to  overwhelm  women  through  
masculine  power?    It’s  letting  this  masculine  power,  this  energy,  touch  her  and  if  
you  want  to  put  it  in  a  mechanical  context,  activate  her  latent  feminine  essence,  
her  sexuality,  her  radiance,  and  her  grace.      

I  want  to  dwell  on  those  words  for  just  a  moment;  her  sexuality,  her  radiance,  and  
her  grace.    These  are  things  that,  when  you  are  able  to  make  a  woman  feel  
radiant,  when  you’re  able  to  make  her  feel  sexual,  when  you’re  able  to  make  her  
feel  graceful,  those  are  things  that  not  every  man  can  make  a  woman  feel.  

By  tuning  in  to  this  masculine  power,  the  strength,  this  dominance,  this  good  
heart,  living  your  life  as  an  adventure  and  you  can  almost  think  of  it;  you  come  
into  contact  with  someone,  this  beautiful  woman  that  catches  your  eye  and  just  
that  energy  activates  this  thing  inside  of  her.    

It  lights  her  up  quite  literally.    It  gets  her  a  little  bit  sexually  excited.    It  makes  her  
feel  radiant  in  your  eyes.    That  is  the  core  of  the  obsession  story.    If  you  look  
through  a  lot  of  the  romance  novels,  a  lot  of  literotica,  you  will  see  this  man  who  
just  lights  a  woman  up,  he  does  a  few  things  that  we  will  be  going  through,  but  
this  is  the  core  of  it.  

I  want  to  break  down  what  the  elements  of  masculine  power  are.    We  talked  
about  a  dominant  man,  good  heart,  positive  intentions,  life  is  an  adventure,  strive  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER
 
for  success.    Those  are  core  values  but  let’s  break  them  down  so  you  can  actually  
cultivate  these  character  traits.    If  you  cultivate  them  in  your  personality  then  this  
is  going  to  be  so  much  easier  to  actually  go  through  this  all.  

We’re  going  to  start  with  dominance.    This  one  is  an  interesting  one  for  me  to  talk  
about  because  I  was  the  most  passive  young  man  in  the  world.    When  I  would  get  
checked  in  hockey  I  would  run  off  and  sit  on  the  bench  and  I  don’t  think  I  cried,  
but  probably  wanted  to.    I  always  shied  away  from  fights.      

I’ve  never  actually  been  in  a  fistfight  in  my  life  so  I’m  not  a  classically  dominant  
guy.    This  is  a  personality  trait  that  I  had  to  learn  to  cultivate  in  order  to  have  the  
success  with  women  that  I  wanted.  A  lot  of  these  things  we  talk  about  in  great  
depth  in  the  ten  code  so  I’m  going  to  give  you  high  level  stuff  here  for  the  
distillation  of  these  concepts.  

Dominance  starts  with  having  expectations  for  how  things  should  be.    I  walked  in  
the  room  this  morning.    Immediately  I  look  around  and  I’m  like,  okay,  the  couch  
should  be  over  there  this-­‐  Well,  I  actually  didn’t  decide  that  one.    The  couch  
should  be  over  there.    We  should  get  the  fan  set  up.    Let’s  turn  the  air  
conditioning  on  and  let’s  get  the  music  going.    Just  instantly  come  in;  this  is  how  
things  should  be.    

Do  it  with  work.    Do  it  with  social  situations,  too.    Any  time  you  walk  into  a  bar,  
hey,  people  aren’t  having  enough  fun  in  here.    Come  on,  let’s  go.    Let’s  get  some  
shots.    Let’s  get  moving,  if  you  are  a  drinker.    It  starts  with  just  having  
expectations  for  how  things  should  be.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER
 
Then  assertively  pursuing  what  you  want.    You’re  at  that  bar.    You’re  starting  to  
have  fun.    You  see  a  girl  assertively  pursuing  what  you  want.    You’re  not  assertive  
about  it  if  you’re  half  assed  about  pursuing  what  you  want.    That’s  not  
dominance.    That’s  just  hoping  the  world  is  going  to  give  you  something  that  you  
probably  don’t  deserve.  

A  third  component  of  dominance;  this  one  is  perhaps  the  most  important  
component  and  this  is  what  most  young  people  who  are  not  dominant  try  to  
avoid  is  rejection.    If  you  are  dominant  you  are  willing  to  risk  rejection  to  get  what  
you  want  and  what  you  think  is  right.  

Think  about  Braveheart,  the  ultimate  dominant  dude.    He’s  willing  to  risk  death  in  
order  to  stand  up  for  what  he  thinks  is  right.    That’s  rejection  of  life.    That’s  a  big  
deal.    A  dominant  man  is  willing  to  risk  rejection.    He’s  willing  to  approach  a  girl.    
He’s  willing  to  go  for  the  kiss.    He’s  willing  to  push  things  a  little  bit  in  order  to  get  
what  he  thinks  is  right.  

Along  those  lines,  a  dominant  man  doesn’t  really  care  what  other  people  think.    I  
remember  when  I  was  twenty,  twenty-­‐one;  first  mentor  in  my  life,  he  was  telling  
me,  “Dude,  I  stopped  giving  a  fuck  what  people  think.”    This  guy  was  so  dorky  and  
stood  like  this;  he  was  really  scrawny,  glasses,  but  he  didn’t  care  what  people  
thought.    He  did  very  well  socially  with  women,  with  men.    He  just  didn’t  care  
what  people  thought.  

These  are  all  some  components  of  dominance.    It  really  is  a  muscle.    It’s  
something  that  you  have  to  exercise.    We’ve  got  a  whole  bunch  of  exercises  in  ten  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER
 
code  about  this;  pushing  yourself  to  stay  in  conversations  longer,  get  closer  to  
women.    We’ll  demonstrate  this  is  just  a  little  bit,  in  a  moment  here.  

One  of  the  things  that  we  do  when  we  work  with  guys  in  coaching  is  that  we  
actually,  we’ll  sometimes  just  have  them,  we’ll  be  like  nope  you  can’t  leave  the  
conversation.    They’ll  turn  around,  I  think  the  conversation’s  over.      

We’re  like,  nope,  you’ve  got  to  go  stay  in  the  conversation  longer  and  just  push  
them,  or  we’d  see  them  standing  far  away  from  the  girl.    We’re  like,  no,  you  have  
to  work  space,  get  closer.    I’m  going  to  give  you  three  stories  of  dominance  to  
contextualize  this  and  we’ll  give  you  some  examples.  

First  story  of  dominance,  I  was  dating  this  girl.    We  were  eating  dinner  at  a  table  
very  much  like  that  one  sitting  across  from  each  other.    It  was  our  second  date,  
third  date.    I’ll  be  talking  about  that  dating  strategy  a  little  later  tomorrow.    Got  
up,  walked  around  the  table  and  she  was  looking  at  me  and  I  walk  around  looking  
at  her  smiling  a  little  bit.      

I  looked  down  and  it’s  a  little  edgy  but  I  felt  that  I  could  probably  get  away  with  
this  so  I  looked  down  and  leaned  over  like  going  to  kiss  her.    She  turns  away  and  
she’s  like  no,  no,  no.    We’d  been  introduced  through  this  friend  who  really  liked  
her  and  had  a  crush  on  her.    She  was  like  no,  no,  it’d  be  weird.    I  don’t  know,  I  
don’t  know.  

I  just  very  gently  took  her  head  and  then  leaning  over  and  just  turned  it  towards  
me  and  looked  her  in  the  eye  and  I  said,  “No,  it’s  going  to  be  amazing.”    I  leaned  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER
 
in  and  starting  kissing  her.    Very  gently  but  very  dominantly  I  said,  “No,  this  is  
going  to  be  amazing.”    That’s  an  example  of  dominance.  

A  third  story  of  dominance  actually  along  those  lines  is  I  used  to  live  in  this  big  
party  loft.    It  was  New  Year’s  Eve.    We  were  throwing  a  party  and  there  was  this  
girl  who  I  had  kind  of  sort  of  been  seeing  and  she’s  over.    I  knew  this  girl  was  total  
trouble.    I  was  not  dating  her  as  wife  material,  but  she  was  fun.      

It’s  late  in  the  evening  and  it’s  time  for  people  to  move  on.    I’m  standing  in  the  
corner  and  I’m  talking  to  somebody.    I  see  her  making  out  with  this  guy.    A  female  
friend  of  mine,  I  said,  “Can  you  go  grab  her  and  stop  her  from  making  out  with  the  
guy?”  

My  female  friend  walks  over.    She’s  like,  “Hey,  Jonathan  wants  you  to  stop  making  
out  with  him,”  or  Christian,  as  the  case  may  be.    You  guys  all  know  Jonathan,  
Christian.      She  said,  “Jonathan  wants  you  to  stop  making  out  with  that  guy.”    
She’s  like,  “What?”    I  just  walked  over.    I  was  like,  “Yeah,  stop  making  out  with  
him.”    She  was  like,  “What?”    I  was  like,  “Yeah,  come  here.”    I  just  grabbed  her,  
took  her  to  my  bedroom,  that  was  it.  

We’d  already  obviously  been  kissing  a  little  bit  in  the  past.    Like  I  said,  this  girl  was  
not  marriage  material.    There  was  a  reason  we  were  engaged  in  that  sort  of  
activity  at  New  Year’s  Eve.    That  was  another  good  example  of  dominance,  stop  
doing  this.  

Let’s  go  through  again  very  quickly  the  traits  of  dominance;  having  expectations  
for  how  things  should  be,  assertively  pursuing  what  you  want,  willing  to  risk  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER
 
rejection  and  not  caring  what  others  think.    All  of  those  examples  demonstrates  
those  four  traits  in  action.    This  is  a  thing  that  it’s  a  little  scary  when  you  start  
doing  it  but  then  it  becomes  very  freeing  and  liberating  to  actually  act  this  way.  

With  that  in  mind  I’m  going  to  ask  Alex  to  join  me  onstage,  on  the  creaky  stage  
here  and  we’re  going  to  demonstrate-­‐  Yeah,  you  can  do  some  dancing  actually.    
These  are  things  that  have  happened  in  my  life.    Not  quite  what  I  was  talking  
about  a  moment  ago,  but  a  few  other  examples  of  dominance  in  action.  

This  one  was,  we  don’t  have  a  taxi  here  obviously,  but  this  one  happened  when  I  
was  in  the  Lower  East  Side  and  the  girl  had  just  gotten  into  a  taxi  and  is  sitting  in  
traffic.    Do  you  want  to  stand  right  here  so  the  cameras  can  see  my  eyes?    Face  
me  a  little  bit  like  this.  

She’s  sitting  in  the  taxi  and  she’s  just  standing  there.    I  walk  up  to  the  taxi  and  
knock  on  the  window  and  she  opens  it.    Hey.  

Alex:  Hi.  

Christian:  I  think  you’re  really  pretty.  

Alex:   Thank  you.  

Christian:  What’s  your  name?  

Alex:  Alex.  

Christian:  Alex.    Christian.    Where  are  you  off  to?  

Alex:  Hi  Christian.    I’m  going  to  McFadden’s.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER
 
Christian:  McFadden’s.    I  can’t  join  you,  but  I  want  to  know  you.    What’s  your  
number?  

Alex:  Um.    Uh.  

Christian:  That  was  it  and  she  gave  me  her  number.    That  was  it.    It  was  amazing.    
Actually,  can  I  borrow  somebody’s  phone  real  quick?  

Christian:  Thank  you.    I’m  not  going  to  use  it,  but  use  it  as  a  prop.    That  was  
unexpected,  but  dominant.    I  was  just  like,  hey,  I  can’t  join  you  but  I  want  to  get  to  
know  you.    Can  I  have  your  number?  

I  wanted  to  pause  here  for  a  second  just  to  get  the  first  half  of  that  out  of  the  
way.    Now  what  will  happen  if  you  do  that,  and  I’ve  done  that  plenty  of  times,  is  
girls  will  usually  have  the  response  that  Alex  had  which  is  um  because  they’re  not  
used  to  that.  

What  you  can  do  is  we’ll  start  over.    We’ll  just  pretend.    I  would  be  like,  let’s  go  in  
back  in  the  situation.    I  can’t  join  you  but  I  want  to  know  you.    Can  I  have  your  
number?  

Alex:  Uh,  sure,  yeah.  

Christian:  Yeah?    Okay,  here.    You  just  watched  how  my  eyes  were  on  her.    Can  I  
have  your  number?    Just  like  that.    You  wouldn’t  believe  this  actually  works,  but  it  
does.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER
 
Next  one  I  just  want  you  to  resist  a  little  bit.    Give  me  your  number  and  like  umm  
and  then  I’ll-­‐  Okay.    I  can’t  join  you  but  I  want  to  know  you.    Can  I  have  your  
number?  

Alex:  Umm.  

Christian:  Look,  I’ll  only  text  you  twenty  times  a  day.    Okay?  

Alex:  Okay.  

Christian:  Okay.    Sometimes  you’ll  get  that  pushback  and  if  you  just  say  a  funny  
line,  oftentimes  you’ll-­‐  I’ll  only  text  you  twenty  times  a  day.    You  just  smile.    
Oftentimes  that  deals  with  the  pushback  and  then  you  can  keep  pushing  forward  
after  that  if  yours  is  still  I  don’t  know.    Listen,  obviously,  and  I  could  just  go  on.      

Obviously  you  could  go  on  your  way  in  your  life.    I  could  go  on  my  way  in  my  life  
and  we  could  just  remember  this  moment  or  you  could  think  back  to  this  moment  
in  ten  years  from  now.    We  don’t  know  what’s  going  to  happen.    We  don’t  know  
what’s  going  to  happen.  

Alex:  That’s  true.  

Christian:  Right,  exactly.    I  would  just  keep  pushing.    Thank  you  and  thank  you.    
This  is  another  example-­‐  Actually  you  can  stay  up  here.    We  were  in  a  bar.    I  was  
making  eye  contact  with  this  girl  throughout  the  bar.    She  would  be  over  there.    I  
would  be  over  here.    This  happens  sometimes.    You’re  in  the  bar  and  you’re  
making  eye  contact  with  a  girl.    This  happens  sometimes.    Not  always  but  it  
happens.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER
 
My  bar  was  nightclubish.    You’re  going  to  walk  this  way.    I’m  going  to  walk  that  
way.    We’re  just  walking  by  and  we  briefly  do  that  whole  I’m  not  paying  attention  
to  you  but  I’m  paying  attention  to  you  thing.    I’m  walking  this  way.    You’re  walking  
this  way.    I  see  you.    I  just  grabbed  her,  grabbed  her  on  the  arm.    Spin  her  around  
and  I’m  like  hey.  

Alex:  Hi.  

Christian:  What’s  up?  

Alex:  Nothing.  

Christian:  What’s  your  name?  

Alex:  I’m  Alex.  

Christian:  Alex.  

Alex:  What’s  your  name?  

Christian:  Christian.    Nice  to  meet  you.  

Alex:  Nice  to  meet  you.  

Christian:  I’ve  got  to  go  sort  something  out  over  there,  but  I  want  to  talk  to  you.    
You  going  to  be  around?  

Alex:  Yeah,  I’ll  be  around.  

Christian:  Let’s  demonstrate  that  arm  grab  again  because  you’ve  got  to  be  careful  
with  this.    You  can’t  lunge,  but  if  you’re  getting  that  eye  contact  and  you  know  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER
 
that  look-­‐  Why  don’t  we  actually  turn  around  so  the  guys  can  see  the  look  in  your  
eyes  and  you  can  come  a  little  bit  farther,  yeah.      

You  know  this  look.    You’ve  been  looking  at  each  other  through  the  bar  and  you  
do  the  pass.    We  walk  and  she’s  just  giving  me  that,  right?    Just  grab  her,  pull  her  
in,  break  space  a  little  bit  and  now  we’re  talking.    That’s  the  third  one.  

The  next  one,  this  is  why  I’m  chewing  gum,  is  because  this  is  a  very  dominant  
sexual  turn-­‐on.    Alex  has  willingly  agreed  to  participate  in  these  sorts  of  
demonstrations.    This  is  something  that  you  do.    You’re  back  at  the  house.    You’re  
making  out.    This  will  normally  for  me  start  in  the  kitchen.    We’ll  be  talking  about  
dates  after  this  whole  thing.    After  this  segment  we’ll  be  talking  about  dates.  

One  of  my  dates  would  be  in  the  kitchen  and  we’d  be  making  dessert  or  be  
cleaning  up  after  dinner.    We’d  probably  be  kissing  each  other,  kissing  standing  up  
because  she’s  cleaning,  I’m  cleaning;  we’re  kissing  each  other.  

I  want  to  use  this  wall  so  you  can  come  over  this  way.    Right  here  is  fine.    I’m  
going  to  narrate  while  I’m  talking  to  Alex.    We  agreed  no  actual  kissing  will  take  
place,  but  I’m  going  to  narrate  as  I  talk  to  her.    Obviously  we’re  right  up  against  
each  other.    We’re  making  out.    We’re  doing  this.      

We’re  moving  around  and  everything.    What  I’m  going  to  do,  I  don’t  want  to  
break  that  painting;  what  I’m  going  to  do  is  I’m  going  to  push  her  up  against  the  
wall  and  look  at  her.    Let’s  see,  maybe  that  wall  so  you  guys  can  all  see  her.    
Actually,  I  want  you  to  see  my  eyes.    Let’s  just  imagine  that  this  is  a  wall  right  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER
 
here.    We’ll  see  what  we  can  do.    I’m  sorry.    Right  here,  right  here.    This  is  the  wall  
right  here.  
   
We’re  talking.    We’re  all  passionate;  we’re  making  out  and  stuff.    I’m  going  to  
push  her  up  against  the  wall  and  look  at  her  like  that.    Very  gently  come  in  and  
very  tenderly  start  to  kiss  her.    It’s  a  dominant  push.    You  notice  I’m  still  holding  
her,  right?    I’m  going  to  prevent  her  head  from  hitting  the  back  of  the  wall.    It’s  a  
dominant  push  then  very  gently  coming  back  and  starting  to  kiss  her.    That  is  
dominance.    Thank  you.    We’ll  have  more.    Yes.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 

CHAPTER 3: MASCULINE POWER (CONTINUED)

This  is  the  next  trait  is  competence.    This  is  a  key  ingredient  to  a  successful  life,  
obviously.    Women  want  to  be  with  a  competent  man.    He  doesn’t  have  to  be  a  
wealthy  man.    He  just  has  to  be  competent.    You  can  be  a  competent  musician  
and  be  on  your  game  and  on  your  path.    You  can  be  a  competent  whatever  you  
do  with  your  life  and  still  be  …  Even  if  you’re  not  making  a  lot  of  money,  you  can  
still  be  very  competent  at  it.  
 
When  I  think  of  competence,  it’s  ability.    This  is  …  Actually,  my  buddy  came  up  
with  this  but  I  thought  it  was  such  a  great  encapsulation  of  it.    Competence  is  :  
“ability  plus  responsibility  plus  reliability”.    So,  I’ll  repeat  that.    Competence  is  
“ability  plus  responsibility  plus  reliability”.      
 
Competence  is  a  natural  outcome  of  having  a  mission  in  your  life.    I  was  a  very  
incompetent  man  when  I  didn’t  have  a  mission.    I  had  my  software  company,  but  I  
didn’t  really  give  a  shit  about  it.    It  was  just  an  ego  project  for  me.    It  was  like,  
“Oh,  I  went  out,  and  I  raised  some  venture  capital  money,  and  I  bought  an  Audi  
TT.”  I  didn’t  give  a  shit  about  what  I  was  doing.    I  just  liked  the  ego  of  saying  that  I  
ran  this  business.  
 
Now,  I  give  a  shit  about  what  I’m  doing.    I  wouldn’t  be  re-­‐filming  this  if  I  didn’t.    
Evan  has  seen  me  in  a  professional  context.    We  don’t  work  …  You’re  not  an  
employee  of  mine,  but  you’ve  seen  the  way  I  work  with  people.    It’s  like  I  have  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
extremely  high  expectations,  and  a  degree  of  competence  that’s  come  about  
from  just  having  this  mission  that  I  feel  a  strong  urge  to  share  with  the  world.      
 
So,  we  talk  about  having  a  mission  in  “Ignition”.    It’s  another  program  in  the  
course.    But,  in  short,  I’ll  just  tell  you,  I  mean,  a  mission  is  something  that  gets  
talked  about  a  lot.    Having  a  mission  is  something  that  doesn’t  happen  overnight.    
It  kind  of  just  finds  you  if  you’re  doing  something  you  love.  
 
Three  hallmarks  of  competence,  of  men  who  are  acting  in  competence,  and  some  
of  you  guys  have  heard  me  talk  about  this  already,  letting  your  actions  control  
your  emotions.    If  you’ve  never  heard  me  say  this  before,  I  did  not  come  up  with  
the  concept.    It  was  given  to  me  by  a  mentor.      
 
But,  as  soon  as  it  hit  me,  the  truth  of  it  was  like,  “That  is  what  a  competent  man  
is,  a  man  who  lets  his  actions  control  his  emotions,  not  his  emotions  control  his  
actions.”  You  don’t  feel  like  going  to  the  gym?    I  get  it.    You’re  kind  of  down.    Go  
anyway.    Let  your  actions  control  emotions.    Imagine  how  great  you  will  feel  when  
you  leave  the  gym.  
 
You  don’t  feel  like  approaching  her?    Your  emotions  are  a  little  afraid.    I  get  it.    It’s  
cool.  But,  imagine  how  great  you’ll  feel  when  you  go  back  to  your  buddies  with  
her  number  or  at  least  like,  “Dude.    I  fucking  did  it!”    
 
There’s  this  high.    If  you’re  not  used  to  approaching  girls  …  Raise  your  hand  if  you  
remember  this.    I’m  even  getting  goosebumps  as  I  think  about  it.    Like,  the  first  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
few  times  I  would  go  out  and  approach  girls  with  my  buddies,  and  even  if  they  
rejected  me,  when  it  was  about  me  and  my  boys  and  like,  “We  fucking  did  it,  
man!”  There’s  this  little  high  that  you  get,  just  the  feeling  that  you  get  from  doing  
that  and  letting  your  actions  control  your  emotion.    That’s  number  1.  
 
Number  2  is  balancing  fun  and  responsibility.    This  is  a  second  hallmark  of  
competence,  I  guess  you  would  call  it,  the  sub-­‐bullets  if  you’re  going  that  far  in  
your  notes.    Balancing  fun  and  responsibility.    In  my  mid-­‐20s,  it  was  all  fun.    In  my  
early  20s,  it  was  all  responsibility.    Nobody  wants  to  be  with  either  person.    
 
Right  now,  it’s  a  lot  of  responsibility  and  not  as  much  fun,  and  I  am  aware  of  that,  
and  I  talk  to  my  girlfriend  about  it.    I’m  like,  “Listen,  babe.    I  know  we’re  not  
having  as  much  fun  right  now.    Just  let  me  get  through  this  phase  of  what  we’re  
trying  to  do  in  the  business.”  But,  balancing  fun  and  responsibility,  a  competent  
man  is  able  to  do  both.  
 
Finally,  creating  more  than  you  consume.    My  mid-­‐20s  were  a  testament  to  the  
fact  that  if  you  consume  more  than  you  create  in  terms  of  bottles  at  the  
nightclub,  girls  afterwards,  lord  knows  what  else.    But,  I  wasn’t  creating  anything.    
I  was  just  consuming,  consuming,  consuming  …  spending.    If  you  create  more  than  
you  consume,  that  is  a  hallmark  of  a  competent  man.  
 
I’ve  given  you  some  examples  of  incompetence  as  I’ve  been  talking  through  this,  
my  overspending  days.    Another  big  one  of  incompetence,  for  me,  was  staying  in  
business  partnerships  for  too  long.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
 
 I  don’t  know  if  any  of  you  guys  are  entrepreneurs,  but  it’s  very  easy  to  stay  in  a  
business  partnership  for  too  long  when  it  feels  safe  …  similar  to  a  relationship.    
Sometimes,  you’re  in  these  very  nice  relationships.    We  were  talking  about  
earlier,  why  do  people  stay  in  relationships?    They  just  don’t  feel  competent  
stepping  out  and  being  on  their  own.  
 
A  few  examples  of  competence  …  It’s  a  little  bit  difficult  to  demo  competence  
because  it’s  more  something  that  just  comes  out  in  a  day-­‐to-­‐day  experience  of  
your  life.    There’s  something  that  we  call  passive  value.    We’ll  be  talking  about  
that  a  little  bit  later.    Passive  value  is  the  world  you  create.    The  more  impressive  
the  world  you  create,  the  more  competent  you  appear.  
 
Fifty  Shades  of  Grey  is  a  great  example.    She  walks  into  his  office,  and  he’s  just  
sitting  there  like  …  The  way  I  picture  it  is  he’s  like  Monty  Burns,  but  like  really  
handsome.    I  don’t  know  if  you  guys  watch  The  Simpsons.    Burns  just  has  that  long  
antechamber,  and  he’s  got  this  big,  imposing  desk,  and  he’s  got  a  little  vacuum  
that  comes  down  and  sucks  people  away  when  he’s  unhappy  with  them.    That’s  
how  I  picture  Christian  Grey,  except  a  really  kind  of  handsome  dude.    So,  that  
right  there  is  a  great  example  of  competence.    She  just  walks  in,  and  she  sees  like,  
“Holy  shit.”  Like,  “This  guy’s  got  his  shit  together.”  
 
But,  there’s  some  other  ways  that  competence  that  come  out  in  your  own  life,  in  
conversations.    One  thing  we’ll  be  talking  about  a  little  later  is  stories  about  
values  and  vision.    So,  when  you’re  talking  and  you’re  telling  stories  about  your  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
life,  you  want  to  lead  with  the  values  that  caused  you  to  do  what  you’re  doing  in  
those  stories  and  your  vision  for  the  future  that  is  the  outcome  of  those  stories.    
So,  I  know  that’s  kind  of  conceptual  here.    We’ll  make  it  specific.    Maybe  you  can  
join  me  …  Is  this  part  of  the  demo?    I  think  it  is.  
 
Alex:  Yeah.  
 
Christian:  Okay,  cool.    So,  a  few  years  ago  in  the  business,  I  had  to  …  I  had  to  fire  
somebody  who  I  was  very  close  to  and  who  was  a  great  friend.    This  is  just  a  little  
example  of  me  talking  and  hopefully  displaying  some  degree  of  competence.    So,  I  
can’t  remember  exactly  how  this  starts.    Did  you  ask  me  a  question  to  start  it  off?  
 
Alex:  Yeah.  
 
Christian:  Okay.  
 
Alex:  I  asked  you  …  You  were  telling  me  about  your  work,  and  I  asked  you  what  
the  toughest  decision  you’ve  ever  had  to  make.  
 
Christian:  That’s  right.    That’s  right.    Yeah,  so  I’ll  start  by  talking  about  work.    So,  
yeah,  I  mean,  it’s  just  been  an  amazing  ride.    I  started  with  nothing.    What’s  that  
Drake  song  that’s  real  popular?  
 
Alex:  “Started  from  the  Bottom.”  
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
Christian:  “Started  from  the  Bottom.”  I  totally  identified  when  heard  it.    There’s  
been  so  many  hard  decisions  along  the  way,  but  it’s  …  Overall,  it’s  just  been  pretty  
amazing.  
 
Alex:  What’s  some  of  the  toughest  decisions  you’ve  had  to  make?  
 
Christian:  Hmm.    I’m  trying  …  Well,  okay.    So,  you  already  know  I’m  really  
passionate  about  this,  and  I  feel  the  need  to  share  it  with  people.    Not  just  the  
desire,  but  the  need  to  share  this  with  people.    There  was  a  guy  I  was  working  
with  for  a  while,  and  he  was  a  really  good  friend.    We  partied  together.    We  hung  
out.    We  just  really  enjoyed  …  He  was  like  my  bro,  right?  
 
Alex:  Mm-­‐hmm  (affirmative).  
 
Christian:  Not  my  brother,  but  he  was  like  my  bro.    The  problem  was  he  just  …  His  
mission  was  not  the  same  as  mine.    He  was  a  little  bit  more  into  just  partying  and  
living  his  life  on  a  day-­‐to-­‐day  basis.    I  don’t  know.    It  was  like  …  I  had  to  let  him  go  
basically  is  the  short  version.    I  had  to  fire  him.    It  kind  of  came  down  to  the  
simple  choices...    Like,  am  I  going  to  grow  this  thing  and  share  it  with  the  world?    
Or,  is  this  going  to  be  about  just  a  little  small  thing  that  I  get  held  back  with?  
 
Alex:  Right.  
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
Christian:  I  didn’t  want  …  My  desire  to  share  this  with  the  world  was  greater  than  
my  desire  to  be  held  back  and  still  keep  him  in  the  business  just  as  sort  of  a  …  like  
a  …  I  don’t  know,  as  a  nice  thing  to  do.  
 
Alex:  Right.    I  understand.  
 
Christian:  Yeah.  
 
Alex:  It’s  tough.  
 
Christian:  It  is  tough.    So,  anyway,  thank  you.    That  was  just  …  That’s  great.    So,  
yeah,  that  was  just  an  example  of  me  kind  of  talking  in  a  way  that  displays  some  
degree  of  competence  because  I’m  leading  with  my  visions  and  my  values.    Right?    
So,  my  values  are:  “I  need  to  share  this  with  the  world”.    This  is  important  to  me.    
I’m  not  going  to  let  this  be  held  back.      
 
So,  that’s  very  different  than  if  I  were  to  say,  “Well,  you  know  what?    I  thought  I  
could  make  a  lot  more  money  without  him,”  or,  “You  know  what?    He  was  just  …  
He  was  getting  drunk  all  the  time,”  which  is  true.    So,  that’s  just  an  example  of  
leading  with  visions  and  values.    When  you  tell  your  story,  you’re  really  trying  to  
connect  with  like,  “I  have  this  bigger  mission.    I  have  this  bigger  thing  that  I’m  
doing.”  So,  that  is  competence.  
 
A  third  element  of  being  an  obsession  worthy  man  is  being  “challenging”.    They  
are  not  pushovers.    This  is  slightly  different  than  dominant.    Dominant  is  a  guy  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
who  just  takes  what  he  wants.    Challenging  is  something  quite  different.    
Challenging  is  that  you  expect  that  there  are  people  who  want  something  from  
you,  and  you  challenge  them  to  live  up  to  your  expectations.      
 
Being  challenging,  interestingly  enough,  I’ve  found  in  my  life  that  it’s  a  natural  
result  of  success  and  competence.    When  I  started  this  business,  I  think  I’ve  
mentioned,  I  was  six  figures  in  debt,  and  I  felt  very  incompetent,  and  my  life  was  
kind  of  shit.    I  always  felt  like  when  I  was  approaching  people,  I  was  coming  up  
with  an  empty  glass,  and  the  glass  was  probably  this  big  because  of  how  much  
debt  I  had.    I  was  like,  “Please.    Fill  it.”  
 
These  days,  just  as  a  result  of  having  had  some  success  and  being  competent,  I’m  
forced  to  challenge  people.    We  get  a  lot  of  emails  from  people  who  want  this  or  
want  that.    Girls  come  into  your  life,  and  they  want  to  be  a  part  of  it,  and  so  you  
have  to  …  You  have  to  challenge  people.      
 
So,  this  is  one  of  these  traits  that,  subconsciously,  when  somebody  is  challenging  
to  you,  it  automatically  triggers  an  instinctive  thought  about  them  that  like,  
“Wow.    This  person  must  be  successful.    This  person  must  be  on  their  grind.    This  
person  must  be  somebody  who  I  want  to  have  in  my  life,  who  I  want  to  qualify  
myself  to.”  You  can  fake  it  until  you  make  it,  and  a  lot  of  people  do.    But,  as  I  said,  
the  more  successful  you  become,  the  more  competent  you  are  in  your  life,  the  
more  that  this  will  just  be  a  natural  outcome  of  your  personality.  
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
As  I  mentioned,  it  comes  from  having  high  expectations  for  others.    Where  do  
high  expectations  from  others  come  from?    Start  with  having  high  expectations  
for  yourself.    Again,  in  my  own  life,  and  I  hate  to  keep  talking  about  myself.    I  feel  
like  it’s  really  like,  “Oh!    It’s  all  about  me!”  But,  that’s  the  place  that  I’m  trying  to  
teach  from.    So,  I  have  very  high  expectations  for  my  health,  for  my  fitness,  for  my  
work,  for  my  finances,  for  the  people  who  are  in  my  life.    So,  starting  from  that  
place,  you  begin  to  have  high  expectations  for  others.  
 
One  of  the  interesting  things  about  literotica  heroes  and  romance  novel  heroes  is  
these  guys  are  so  challenging  that  they  almost  can’t  imagine  that  women  have  
something  to  offer.    In  some  of  the  edgier  books,  like  some  of  the  books  where  
women  kind  of  give  themselves  to  guys,  or  the  guys  just  take  the  women,  it’s  
almost  like  the  guys  just  see  this  woman  and  they’re  like,  “Phew.    Whatever.    I’m  
off  sailing  a  boat  around  the  world,”  or,  “I’m  off  about  to  fight  a  war,”  or,  “I’m  off  
about  to  do  something  big  and  grand.”  Like,  “You  have  nothing  to  give  me.      
 
You  have  nothing  to  offer  me.”  So,  challenging  …  Being  challenging  to  these  
women  is  just  like  …  It  is  deep  in  the  DNA  of  every  single  literotica  novel,  and  you  
will  see  that  with  every  single  character.  
 
What  does  it  mean  to  be  challenging  to  a  woman?    Like,  how  does  this  work  itself  
out?    Well,  I’m  going  to  give  you  some  demonstrations.    But,  I  think  the  place  to  
start  is  that  you  challenge  her  to  be  more  than  a  pretty  face.      
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
Last  week,  when  we  filmed  Ignition,  I  talked  about  developing  sort  of  a  tolerance  
to  very  beautiful  women.    This  is  something  that,  again,  comes  with  time  and  
comes  with  talking  to  beautiful  women.    But,  I  can  say,  again,  speaking  from  my  
own  perspective,  my  …  When  I  look  at  a  beautiful  woman  in  the  eye  these  days,  
it’s  a  very  different  sort  of  emotional  experience  for  me  than  it  was  10  years  ago,  
and  that’s  just  the  result  of  having  talked  to  them  and  dated  them  and  been  with  
them.    So,  having  a  tolerance  for  beauty  and  challenging  her  to  be  more  than  a  
pretty  face  is  a  big  key  of  being  challenging.  
 
Another  element  of  this,  and  this  is  like  foundational  for  the  lifetime  of  your  
relationship.    Guys  get  into  relationships  and  they’re  like  …  They  just  give  in.    They  
become  this  kind  of  …  this  wusses.    That’s  fine.    I’m  not  saying  like,  “Don’t  
embrace  your  woman  with  loving  arms.”  But,  you  should  always  try  to  keep  a  
little  part  of  yourself  for  her  to  try  to  keep  winning  over  …  always.    
 
There’s  always  something  that  she’s  got  to  kind  of  do  for  you  or  to  prove  to  you  in  
a  cute  way,  in  a  fun  way.    But,  challenging  does  not  stop  when  you  get  into  a  
relationship.    So,  there  are  some  good  examples  in  here.  
 
All  right.    So,  we’re  going  to  demonstrate  a  few  things  about  being  challenging  
right  now,  and  you  are  welcome  to  come  on  up.    So,  the  first  one  is  just  really  
easy.    It’s  the  old  line.    Maybe  you  guys  have  heard  this  before.    “It’s  too  bad  it’ll  
never  work  out  between  us.”  Everybody  here  has  heard  that  line  or  is  familiar  
with  it.    So,  this  one,  if  you  don’t  say  it  to  girls,  you  should  start  saying  it  to  girls  
because  it  works  out  amazingly.    It  sort  of  puts  a  frame  on  the  interaction.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
 
Now,  you’re  going  to  have  to  watch  my  body  language  too  when  I’m  doing  this  
because  when  I  challenge  her  …  So,  you’re  going  to  notice  that  I’m  going  to  be  like  
coming  in.    Actually,  could  you  move  just  a  little  bit  this  way?    Thanks.    So,  I’m  
going  to  come  in  and  invade  her  space.    When  I  challenge  her,  I’m  going  to  come  
out  and  actually  break  space.    Then,  when  I  am  going  to  sort  of  reengage  her,  
you’ll  see  that  I’m  going  to  come  in  and  re-­‐enter  her  space.  
 
So,  maybe  we’ve  met  at  a  bar,  and  it  comes  up  and  like,  “Oh.    So,  what  do  you  do  
in  New  York?”  
 
Alex:  I’m  an  actress  and  a  dancer.  
 
Christian:  An  actress  and  a  dancer?    Shit.  
 
Alex:  Yeah.  
 
Christian:  All  right.    It’s  never  going  to  work  out  between  us.    I’m  sorry.    I’m  sorry.    
I  just  …  I’ve  dated  a  few  actresses,  and  I  think  I’m  just  sticking  to  librarians  from  
here  on  out.    But,  you  are  cute  though.    Well,  what  do  you  like  about  acting?  
 
Alex:  I  just  love  performing.  
 
Christian:  Perform-­‐  …  Okay.  
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
Alex:  Mm-­‐hmm  (affirmative).  
 
Christian:  Got  any  performances  to  show  me  right  now?    Or,  like  any  dances,  or  ...  
So,  anyway,  so  that’s  …  Did  you  see  how  I  kind  of  broke  space  when  I  did  the  
challenge,  and  then  came  back  in  and  said,  “But,  you  are  cute.    What  do  you  like  
about  acting?”  Just  come  back  in.    So,  that’s  the  first  example  of  being  
challenging.  
 
This  next  one  …  This  next  one  is  great,  and  it’s  …  I  couldn’t  actually  remember  
what  I  said  to  the  girl  because  this  was  in  my  …  Gosh,  this  was  like  towards  the  
end  of  college.    But,  there  was  this  girl,  and  we  were  kind  of  …  We  hadn’t  actually  
kissed  each  other  yet,  but  there  was  a  lot  of  flirtation  going  on  and  the  same  
social  circle.    So,  we’re  at  the  bar  one  night,  and  I  challenged  her  on  her  sexual  
inexperience.    Now,  this  can  be  very  dangerous  because  it  could  just  be  very  
dangerous.  
 
So,  as  I  created  this  example,  I  thought  like  …  I  couldn’t  remember  what  I  said  to  
her  because  it  was  like  10  years  ago.    So,  this  example  sort  of  comes  from  just  me  
thinking  like,  “What  would  I  say  to  a  girl  right  now  if  I  wanted  to  challenge  her  
sexual  experience?”  So,  yeah,  so  we’ll  just  start  out  …  We’ll  just  start  talking.    I’d  
be  like,  “Okay.    So,  listen.    I  really  like  talking  to  you.    But,  I  don’t  know,  you  just  
seem  like  such  a  good  girl.    Tell  me  about  something  dangerous  that  you’ve  
done.”  
 
Alex:  What  do  you  mean?  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
 
Christian:  Well,  dangerous.    Like,  I  don’t  know.    Okay,  so  I’ve  climbed  a  volcano,  
looked  down  at  lava.    I’ve  raced  motorcycles.    I’ve  made  love  to  a  woman  while  
driving  a  stick  shift.    Yeah,  what’s  something  dangerous  you’ve  done?  
 
Alex:  Hmm.  
 
Christian:  So,  anyway,  we  would  just  kind  of  leave  it  at  that.    I  would  just  leave  it  
on  her  at  that  point.    I’d  be  like,  “Okay.    Give  me  something.”  But,  so  I  kind  of  
throw  out  these  …  You  notice  those  are  like  high  value  things.    I  don’t  expect  that  
everybody  in  the  world  has  climbed  a  volcano,  but  something  that  you’ve  done  
that’s  dangerous.    The  last  part  of  it  was  very  specific.    You  actually  noticed  her  
face.    But,  I  threw  in  there  like,  “I’ve  made  love  while  driving  a  stick  shift.”    
 
That  was  a  very  specific  verbal  sexual  escalation  technique.    She’s  like,  “Oh.    
We’re  going  there,”  and  it  just  introduces  it  to  the  conversion.    If  we  were  at  a  
bar,  if  there  was  some  drinking  involved  and  if  there  was  already  a  degree  of  
flirtation  between  us,  that  specific  line  would  …  It  would  just  totally  create  a  
sexual  vibe  in  the  conversation,  and  she  would  not  miss  it  even  if  she  didn’t  
respond  to  it  right  away.  
 
So,  the  third  one,  this  I  need  both  my  hands  for,  is  what  I  call  polarity  escalation.    
This  is  where  you  are  the  one  escalating  on  the  girl,  but  you’re  telling  her  …  But,  
you’re  talking  to  her  as  if  she  is  the  one  who’s  escalating  on  you.    So,  this’ll  be  …  
Normally,  you  would  do  this  over  a  period  of  like  minutes,  and  we  don’t  have  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
minutes  to  make  out  with  each  other.    So,  I’ll  just  show  you  a  condensed  version  
of  this.  
 
So,  we’d  be  talking.    We’d  be  all  over  each  other  and  I’d  be  like,  “Okay.    Stop  it.    
Stop  it,  okay?”  I’d  be  …  But,  I’d  be  kissing  her.    Right?    So,  I’m  kissing  her.    I’m  like,  
“Stop  it.    Seriously,  you  have  to  stop  it.    You  can’t  make  me  do  this,  okay?”  Then,  I  
come  back  and  kiss  her,  and  I  come  back  out.    We  look  at  each  other  again.      
 
I  come  back  in,  kiss  her  again.    “Seriously.    I’m  not  giving  myself  to  you  this  way  
tonight.”  Just  come  back  in  again.    So,  it’s  really  fun,  right?    You’re  going  to  break  
it  up  with  …  Like,  you’re  escalating,  and  you’re  the  one  who’s  doing  this.    You  
could  kind  of  do  this  in  the  early  stages  of  escalation  too.  
 
I’ve  done  this  in  nightclubs  where  you’re  kind  of  talking  to  a  girl,  your  hand  is  
around  her  back,  and  you’re  like,  “Okay,  look.    You  got  to  stop  this  right  now.”  
She’s  like,  “What?”  I’m  like,  “You  really  have  to  stop  trying  to  turn  me  on.”  She’s  
like,  “What?”  You’re  like,  “Seriously.    
 
 If  you  don’t  keep  doing  this,  I’m  just  going  to  have  to  kiss  you.”  She’s  like,  
“What?”  You’re  like,  “No.    Really,  you  have  to  stop.”  So,  it  just  kind  of  rolls  like  
that,  and  it’s  a  really  fun  way,  if  she’s  part  of  the  vibe,  to  just  keep  the  sexual  
tension  flowing.    So,  thank  you  very  much.  
 
That’s  just  a  great  way  of  being  challenging.    All  right.    The  next  element  of  
masculine  power,  and  we  are  …  Let’s  see.    We  have  3  more.    The  next  element  of  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
masculine  power  is  mysteriousness.    So,  a  lot  of  literotica  men,  there’s  this  deep,  
dark  mysteriousness  that  they  hold  to  themselves.    I  remember  one  of  the  lines  in  
Fifty  Shades  of  Grey.    That’s  the  book  I’ll  always  reference  because  everybody  
knows  it.    I  was  reading  it  on  the  Kindle,  and  it  had  …  Does  anybody  have  a  Kindle?  
 
So,  you  know  that  it  shows  underlined  passages  that  everybody  else  has  
underlined,  and  there  were  like  58,000  underlines  for  this  one  line.    It  was  …  They  
were  laying  in  bed,  and  Ana’s  been  trying  to  get  him  to  open  up.    She’s  like,  “Why  
won’t  you  open  up  to  me?”  and  he  goes,  “Because  I’m  50  shades  of  fucked  up,  
Ana.”  There  was  like  58,000  underlines.      
 
I’m  like,  “Oh,  my  God.    What  …”  You  know  it’s  not  men  underlining  that.    It’s  
women.    I’m  like,  “What  does  that  say  about  women  that  that’s  the  line  that  they  
underline?”  It’s  like  there’s  this  mysterious  man  who  all  of  a  sudden  reveals  his  
vulnerability  to  her.  
 
So,  it  starts  with  being  mysterious  though,  and  it  starts  with  selectively  holding  
back  information  and  also  interest  in  her.    So,  you  don’t  feel  the  need  to  share  
anything  about  yourself  or  get  validation  from  others  in  some  ways.    You  don’t  
need  to  give  away  your  interests  to  make  her  like  you.    
 
I  remember  back  in  the  early  days,  and  I  think  this  is  something  we  can  all  relate  
to,  is  you  feel  like  the  only  move  you’ve  got  is  to  tell  her  that  you  like  her.    Back  in  
probably  high  school,  it’s  like,  “Elizabeth,  I  just  …  I  just  love  being  around  you.    I  
just  think  about  how  much  I  love  spending  time  with  …”  You’re  just  giving  away  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
your  interest,  right?    That’s  not  the  only  move  you’ve  got.    We’ve  already  shown  
you  a  lot  more.    But,  that  is  not  mysterious.    That’s  like  you’ve  showed  your  hand,  
she  knows  what’s  up.  
 
A  great  way  to  think  about  being  mysterious,  this  is  a  line  adapted  from  David  
DeAngelo,  is:  “give  her  the  gift  of  wondering  about  you.”    If  you  think  about  good  
relationships  that  you’ve  been  in  and  women  who  you’ve  really  liked  in  your  life,  
the  women  who  you  like  are  not  the  easy  ones.    They’re  the  ones  who  …  It’s  like  3  
days  and  you’re  like,  “Aw,  when  is  she  going  to  call  me  back?”  Your  heart’s  
beating.      
 
Or,  you  send  her  a  text  and  you’re  like,  “Is  she  going  to  respond  to  me?”  It’s  a  
little  hair  raising,  but  if  you  think  back  to  those  romances,  those  are  always  the  
sweetest.    Those  are  the  ones  that  are  like  the  ups  and  the  downs  of  life,  just  
they’re  fun.    So,  give  her  that  same  gift.    Let  her  wonder  about  you.  
 
There’s  this  one  other  thing  that  I  want  to  mention  while  we’re  talking  about  
mysteriousness.    I  know  that  a  past  belief  that  I  had  or  a  past  thought  I  had  was,  “I  
just  want  girls  to  like  me  for  me.    I  don’t  want  to  have  to  play  the  game.    I  don’t  
want  to  have  to  hold  things  back.    I  just  want  to  be  able  to  sit  there,  tell  her  
what’s  on  my  mind,  and  have  her  like  me  for  me.”    
 
That’s  fine,  but  not  really  because  it’s  fun  to  play  the  game  if  you  know  how  to  
play  it.    That’s  what  makes  her  get  into  you.    That’s  what  keeps  her  working  for  
you  is  that  mysteriousness,  the  challenge.    So,  if  that’s  a  belief  that  you  have,  I  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
just  want  to  suggest  that  that’s  not  a  healthy  belief.    The  real  belief  that  you  
should  have  is,  “I  want  to  make  her  work  for  me.    I  want  to  make  her  work  to  get  
things  out  of  me.”  
 
So,  a  couple  of  examples  of  mysteriousness  at  this  point.    Please  join  me  once  
again.    This  is  something  that  sort  of  permeates  a  lot  of  your  conversations.    It’s  
going  to  permeate  your  life.    You’re  going  to  hold  things  back.    But,  we’ll  give  you  
a  few  examples.    The  first  one  here  is  watch  my  expressiveness.    So,  one  of  the  
key  things  that  we  teach  in  The  Social  Man,  especially  if  you  come  and  do  
coaching,  is  expression.      
 
You  see  a  lot  of  guys  who  walk  up  to  girls  in  bars,  and  I  actually  see  this  when  I’m  
standing  here  talking  to  you  guys.    When  you’re  either  tired  or  bored  or  nervous,  
your  face  goes  like  this.    She  can’t  tell  which  one  it  is.    If  you  are  doing  that  to  her,  
as  Nick  likes  to  say,  “You  might  be  thinking  about  cutting  off  her  hair  and  adding  it  
to  the  ball  in  your  attic.”    
 
When  guys  are  nervous,  that’s  what  they  do.    So,  we  like  to  teach  expressiveness.    
We  like  to  teach  how  to  just  have  a  lot  of  expression  in  your  face.    If  you’ve  
noticed,  when  I’ve  been  talking  to  Alex,  there  is  a  lot  of  expression  in  my  face.    A  
lot  of  mysteriousness  comes  from  just  the  expressiveness  in  your  face.    So,  if  you  
can  move  just  a  little  bit  right  there,  perfect.      
 
Watch  my  eye  contact  as  I  say  stuff.    I’m  like:  “Yeah.    I  really  like  talking  to  you.”  
You  just  …  The  narrowing  of  the  eyes,  the  subtlety  of  my  tone.    It’s  kind  of  like,  “I  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
really  like  talking  to  you.”  It’s  like,  “Yeah.    I  really  like  talking  to  you,”  something  
like  that.    So,  that’s  just  the  expressiveness  is  narrowing  the  tone.    Are  you  
recording  right  now?    Okay.    It’s  okay.    It’s  all  on  camera.  
 
So,  the  nervousness  of  the  tone,  okay.    So,  here’s  something  that  I’ll  often  do  is  I’ll  
often  do  like  an  open  loop.    Do  you  guys  know  what  an  open  loop  is?    It’s  basically  
when  you  open  up  a  loop  that  a  person  …  Well,  I  don’t  know  how  to  describe  an  
open  loop.    I’ll  just  demonstrate  it  for  you.    So,  we’re  wrapping  up  our  first  date.    
Tomorrow,  I’ll  be  giving  you  guys  the  first  date  strategy,  exactly  what  to  do.    So,  
we’re  wrapping  up  our  first  date.    I’ve  just  paid  for  drinks.    I’m  like,  “So,  you  up  for  
something  else?  
 
Alex:  What  do  you  mean?  
 
Christian:  Well,  I  might  just  have  something  else  on  the  agenda.  
 
Alex:  I  might  like  something  else.  
 
Christian:  All  right,  cool.  
 
Alex:  What  is  it?  
 
Christian:  I  tell  you  what.    I’ve  got  to  use  the  restroom,  but  I’ll  tell  you  when  I  
come  back.    All  right?  
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
So,  again,  just  notice  a  couple  things  there.    The  open  loop  is  just  that  I’ve  opened  
up  this  question  in  her  mind  that  is  unfilled  for  a  while  and  just  kind  of  keeps  her  
thinking.    Psychologists  call  this  the  Zeigarnik  Effect.    Also,  again,  just  look  at  my  …  
Look  at  the  eye  contact  when  I  do  that,  right?    So,  she  says,  “What  …”  So,  just,  
“What  is  it?”  
 
Alex:  What  is  it?  
 
Christan:  I’ll  tell  you  what,  I  got  to  go  to  the  restroom,  but  I’ll  tell  you  when  I  come  
back.    So,  I’m  turning  my  back,  but  I’m  still  keeping  my  eye  on  her  with  that  just  
mischievous  smile.    She  doesn’t  know  what’s  coming  up,  right?    So,  that’s  
mysteriousness.  
 
Another  example  is  what  I  call  selective  attention.    You  guys  might’ve  seen  this  
demonstrated,  and  this  is  going  to  require  Alex  to  share  a  little  bit  more  about  
herself.    So,  all  right,  it  you  could  stand  actually  right  here  while  you  talk,  yeah.    
So,  here’s  what  you  guys  want  to  look  out  for  is  watch  my  eyes  as  she  continues  
to  talk.      
 
What  you’ll  see  is  that  my  eyes  are  going  to  fall  away  for  a  little  bit,  and  then  
when  she  …  When  I  respond  to  her,  I’m  going  to  have  a  very  specific  response  and  
look  her  right  in  the  eyes.    The  point  of  the  eyes  falling  away  is  to  sort  of  let  her  
wonder,  “Is  he  getting  bored  right  now?    Am  I  losing  him?    This  is  somewhat  
mysterious.”  
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
So,  we  were  talking  about  the  tattoo,  and  you  have  this  beautiful  tattoo.    So,  I  say,  
“Free.    Where’d  you  …  How’d  you  end  up  with  that?”  
 
Alex:  Well,  I  used  to  work  a  very  boring,  conventional  9  to  5  job.  
 
Christian:  Okay.  
 
Alex:  Then,  I  quit  my  job,  and  I  pursued  a  career  in  acting  and  dance.  
 
Christian:  Okay.  
 
Alex:  So,  for  my  first  big  dance  job  in  L.A.,  I  felt  kind  of  liberated  and  sort  of  
impulsively  got  a  tattoo,  and  it  says  “Free.”  
 
Christian:  Huh.    So,  I’m  just  trying  to  think  like  …  Because  L.A.  has  …  I  mean,  what  
was  …  Like,  what  was  the  feeling  of  L.A.  that  day?  
 
Alex:  It  was  kind  of  surreal.    It  just  felt  like  I  used  to  be  so  confined  and  stuck  in  
that  job,  and  then  being  in  L.A.  just  sort  of  felt  like  a  realization  of  some  sort.    So,  
that’s  kind  of  where  that  all  came  about.  
 
Christian:  So,  it  was  just  a  spur  of  the  moment  decision  …  
 
Alex:  Totally  …But,  it  means  something  at  the  same  time.  
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
Christian:  Awesome.  
 
Alex:  Yeah.  
 
Christian:  Awesome.    Those  are  the  best  experiences.  
 
Alex:   Yeah,  they  are.  
 
Christian:  And,  we  might  have  one  tonight-­‐  …  No,  I’m  just  kidding.  
 
All  right.    So,  that’s  selective  attention.    Did  you  notice  my  eyes  just  started  to  
wander  a  little  bit?    Then,  when  I  responded,  I  didn’t  rush  into  the  response.    I  
spent  some  time  thinking  about  something  to  say,  and  I  probably  could’ve  said  
something  more  intelligent.    
 
 But,  it’s  fine.    It’s  like,  “Man.    How  did  L.A.  feel  that  day?”  I’m  just  trying  to  kind  of  
get  into  her  world  and  paint  a  picture  in  my  mind  of  what  her  world  was  like.    But,  
again,  for  a  while,  I  just  like  zoned  out.    You  can  do  this  …  I’ve  done  this  on  dates.  
 
Another  great  …  I  remember  this  from  a  date  is  a  girl  was  talking  to  me,  and  she  
was  telling  me  about  how  much  she  likes  Friends.    This  girl,  in  fairness,  I  was  really  
just  interested  in  hooking  up  with  her.    I  started  to  say  I  didn’t  really  care  what  
she  had  to  say  about  Friends.    So,  I  started  to  zone  out  as  she  was  talking  about  
Friends,  and  so  she  was  talking,  talking,  talking.    Then,  I  kind  of  zoned  out.      
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
Then,  I  just  look  her  right  in  the  eye  and  with  a  little  bit  of  a  dead  pan  expression  
she’s  like,  “Ah  …  What?”  I  just  kind  of  lean  over  the  table,  I’m  like,  “I  just  really  
want  to  kiss  you  right  now.”  Just  lean  over,  like  kiss  her.    So,  that’s  another  way  
you  can  use  selective  attention;    just  zone  out  and  if  you  feel  that  there’s  a  sexual  
vibe  between  the  2  of  you  or  this  might  work,  just  go  in  for  the  kiss.    That’s  good  
for  mysterious.  
 
There’s  also  some  mysterious  compliments  you  can  give  a  girl.    I  wrote  this  one  
down.    So,  you  could  say  like  “Is  that  …  Is  that  your  perfume?”    
 
Alex:  Yeah.  
 
Christian:  So,  actually,  could  you  just  come  up  here  for  a  second?    So,  imagine  like  
…  Imagine  we’re  out,  and  I’m  standing  next  to  you,  and  we’re  talking  and  I’m  like,  
“Is  that  …  Is  that  your  perfume?    Hang  on.    I  love  it.”  
 
Alex:  Thank  you.  
 
Christian:  “It  smells  amazing.”  
 
Alex:  Thanks.  
 
Christian:  So,  but  you  notice  the  way  I  said  it,  she  doesn’t  know  if  I’m  like  …  I  kind  
of  said  it  with  the  same  tone  of  like,  “Did  you  just  fart?”  As  soon  as  I  saw  your  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
response,  I  was  like,  “Okay.    I  have  to  …”  Another  one  that  I’ve  used  is,  “Have  you  
ever  smiled  at  yourself  in  a  mirror  and  seen  what  it  looks  like?”  
 
Alex:  Uh,  yeah.    I  think  so.  
 
Christian:  It’s  amazing.  
 
Alex:  Thank  you.  
 
Christian:  Yeah.    All  right.    So,  that’s  it.    Just  mysterious  compliments  that  are  like  
…  It  makes  her  wonder  like,  “What  …  Uh  …”  So,  those  are  some  funny  things  to  
say.    But,  the  perfume  one,  especially  at  a  bar,  is  like  …  You  take  it  away,  right?    
And,  she’s  like,  “Oh,  my  God.    Did  I  just  …  What’s  going  on?”  Then,  “Nah,  I  love  it.    
It’s  amazing.”  So,  that  is  mysteriousness.  
 
The  fifth  element  of  masculine  power  is  genuineness.    Ultimately,  when  Christian  
admits  that  he’s  50  shades  of  fucked  up,  he’s  starting  to  become  genuine.    If  you  
don’t  have  a  degree  of  genuineness,  and  this  is  something  that  I  lacked  for  many  
years  when  I  was  going  through  that  whole  pickup  artist  scene,  going  out  and  
hooking  up  a  lot  phase,  you  just  kind  of  hit  a  wall  with  the  girl,  and  she  realizes  …  
Really  quality  women  realize  they  just  can’t  get  past  that.  
 
So,  what  is  it  to  be  genuine?    You’re  driven  to  discover  and  seek  truth.    One  of  my  
favorite  books  that  I’ve  read  in  the  last  2  years  is  …  Does  anybody  know  
Bridgewater  Capital?    Anybody  in  the  finance  world?    So,  Bridgewater  Capital’s  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
sort  of  the  Apple  of  hedge  funds.    The  founder  is  a  guy  named  Ray  Dalio.    He  
wrote  a  free  PDF.    It’s  called  “Ray  Dalio’s  Principles.”  He’s  actually  a  Long  Island  
boy.    He  wrote  “Ray  Dalio’s  Principles.”  It’s  free,  and  it’s  probably  the  best  thing  
I’ve  read  in  the  last  2  or  3  years.      
 
One  of  the  things  he  points  out  is  that  nature  gave  us  pain  as  a  messaging  device  
to  tell  us  when  we  are  reaching  or  at  our  limits.    Yet,  at  the  same  time,  being  at  or  
near  our  limits  indicates  that  we  are  about  to  grow.    So,  it’s  only  when  we’re  
experiencing  pain  that  we  can  achieve  growth.  
 
So,  when  I  think  of  truth  and  being  genuine  and  searching  for  something,  I  think  
to  myself,  “Maybe  it  requires  that  I  learn  more  about  myself,  that  I  go  through  
moments  of  pain  in  my  life,  that  I  seek  a  deeper  truth  about  who  I  am,  become  
somebody  who  a  woman  would  actually  want  to  be  with.”  So,  it  starts  with  just  
that  holding  onto  that  thought.    You’re  driven  to  discover  and  seek  truth  about  
yourself  and  about  others.  
 
Another  thing  that’s  important  about  being  genuine  is  when  you’re  strong  and  
you  have  self-­‐esteem,  you  don’t  need  someone.    All  right?    You  don’t  need  
someone  when  you’re  strong  in  your  self-­‐esteem.    So,  your  desire  for  them  is  
based  on  your  true  appreciation  and  true  feeling  for  them.      
 
If  you  go  out  to  a  bar,  if  you’re  talking  to  a  woman,  if  you  don’t  feel  like  you  need  
a  woman  because  you’re  on  your  path,  you  have  self-­‐esteem,  then  you  can  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
actually  spend  the  time  deciding,  “Is  this  somebody  who  I  really  want  to  have  in  
my  life?    Or,  is  this  somebody  who  I’m  just  reaching  out  to  because  I  need  them?”  
 
One  of  the  things  that  always  used  to  hang  me  up  in  the  past  was  I  would  always  
express  emotional  attachment  first  in  relationships.    This  is  the  common  high  
school  thing,  right?    You’re  into  a  girl.    The  first  thing  you  say  is,  “I  like  you  so  
much.”  You’re  like,  “I  just  think  about  you  all  the  time.”  Like,  “I  really  want  to  be  
with  you.    I  want  to  take  care  of  you.”  Or,  at  least  you’re  thinking  those  thoughts  
in  your  head.    That’s  where  you’re  expressing  your  emotional  attachment  to  her  
before  anything  else  has  happened.  
 
When  you’re  genuine,  if  you’re  kind  of  in  line  with  yourself,  with  your  self-­‐esteem,  
with  your  mission,  on  your  path,  all  that  stuff  that  we  keep  talking  about,  then  
what’s  going  to  happen  is  you’re  going  to  express  your  sexual  desire.    You’re  going  
to  express  your  admiration.    You’re  going  to  have  some  danger  with  her,  express  
some  excitement  before  there’s  emotional  attachment.  
 
So,  these  days,  the  sexual  attraction  is  really  the  one  that  I  want  you  guys  to  focus  
on  here.    A  lot  of  guys  express  their  emotional  attraction  far  before  they  express  
their  sexual  attraction.    That’s  a  sure  fire  way  to  end  up  in  the  friend  zone.      
 
So,  being  genuine  with  a  girl,  I  mean,  even  if  you’re  really  feeling  emotionally  
attracted  to  her,  I  know  that’s  not  being  genuine,  but  the  genuineness  she  wants  
to  feel  is  the  genuineness  of  the  man  who  likes  her  for  who  she  is,  is  getting  to  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
know  her,  taking  his  time  to  get  to  know  her,  qualifying  her,  challenging  her,  is  
attracted  to  her  sexually,  and  she  kind  of  wins  him  over.  
 
I  know  I’m  speaking  in  some  broad  concepts  here,  so  maybe  this’ll  all  pull  it  
together.  “She  becomes  unique  and  special  to  you,  on  a  deep  level,  for  reasons  
that  she  didn’t  even  see  herself.”    That,  to  me,  is  truly  what  being  genuine  is  
about.    She  becomes  unique  and  special  to  you,  on  a  deep  level,  for  reasons  she  
didn’t  even  know  about.      
 
So,  working  towards  being  genuine  with  her  is  about  who  she  is,  not  about  her.    
It’s  about  her  motivations,  her  beliefs,  her  values.    What  are  the  things  that  when  
you  2  are  raising  children  together  are  going  to  make  her  a  great  mother  of  your  
children?  
 
Needless  to  say,  it’s  kind  of  hard  to  demonstrate  genuineness.    You  can’t  like,  
“Hey.    We’re  going  to  have  a  genuine  conversation  right  now.”  So,  there  is  no  
demonstration  for  that  one.    But,  that’s  fine  because  that  leaves  us  for  the  last  
and  perhaps  most  fun  trait,  and  that’s  sexuality.      
 
So,  an  obsession  worthy  man  is  sexual.    He’s  tuned  in  to  his  sexuality.    He’s  
comfortable  with  his  sexuality.    I  think  of  sexuality  as  the  gateway  to  in  the  
expression  of  lust,  desire,  and  love.    It  starts  with  what  I  would  call  “the  look.”  Has  
anybody  here  heard  me  talk  about  “the  look”  before?    I  think  you  heard  me  talk  
about  “the  look.”  
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
The  guy  who  does  “the  look”  best  is  Tom  Cruise.    If  you  watch  Top  Gun  and  I  tell  
everybody,  “Go  watch  Top  Gun  and  watch  that  scene  in  Top  Gun  where  he’s  
looking  at  Kelly  McGillis  like,  “I’m  going  to  have  sex  with  you  in  just  a  little  bit.””  
That’s  “the  look.”  So,  maybe  you  can  come  up  here  for  just  a  moment,  and  I  could  
just  kind  of  demonstrate  “the  look.”  I’ve  been  doing  it  a  lot.    You  just  …  Yeah,  right  
there’s  good.  
 
So,  it’s  just  a  deep  look  into  her  eyes,  maybe  a  little  tilt  of  the  head,  a  little  
narrowing  of  the  expression.    What  “the  look”  is  saying  is  like,  “I  want  you.    I  could  
have  you,  but  I’m  having  fun.    I  appreciate  you…  I  probably  envision  grabbing  your  
hair,  but  not  quite  that  much,  and  you  don’t  actually  know  that  just  yet.”  There’s  
all  of  these  things  that  “the  look”  is  saying,  but  really  what  I’m  thinking  when  I’m  
giving  her  “the  look”  is  just  I’m  just  looking  straight  at  her  and  just  being  attracted  
to  her.  
 
So,  if  we  were  talking,  and  you  can  talk  about  just  the  tattoo  or  whatever.    So,  
yeah,  so  that’s  it.  
 
Alex:  Yeah.    So,  I  was  in  L.A.,  and  walking  past  a  tattoo  shop  and,  in  that  moment,  
just  felt  really  liberated,  so  I  walked  into  the  tattoo  shop  and  I  said,  “Put  “free”  on  
my  wrist.”  So,  that’s  kind  of  how  it  went.  
 
Christian:  I  love  it.  
 
Alex:  Thanks.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
 
Christian:  So,  it’s  just  that  simple,  a  deep  look  into  the  eye,  a  little  bit  of  tilt  to  the  
head,  a  narrowing  of  the  eyes.    Thank  you  very  much  for  that.    So,  that’s  where  
sexuality  starts.    It’s  just  this  look  like,  “I’m  very  attracted  to  you  as  I’m  talking  to  
you  right  now.”  Just  giving  her  some  space  to  talk.  
 
The  next  phase  of  sexuality,  or  at  least  a  thought  that  I  like  to  bring  into  sexuality  
is  it  gives  you  pleasure  to  bring  her  pleasure.    It  gives  you  pleasure  to  bring  her  
pleasure.    A  lot  of  guys,  they  go  out  into  the  world,  they’re  like,  “Yo,  I  just  want  to  
get  off.    I  want  to  fuck  some  sluts,”  whatever  euphemism  you  use.      
 
But,  if  your  approach  is  truly  it  brings  you  pleasure  to  give  her  pleasure,  then  that  
will  sort  of  reframe  every  interaction  you  have  with  her  and  it’ll  …  She’ll  really  feel  
that.    When  I’m  looking  at  a  girl  and  giving  her  that  look,  I’m  not  thinking  like,  
“Holy  shit.    I  want  to  put  her  over  a  rail  and  ju-­‐  …”  It’s  like,  “I  want  to  make  love  to  
this  woman.    I  want  her  to  feel  that.”  That’s  a  very  different  thing  than  just  the  
creepy  like,  “Ooh  …”  want  to  get  off.    Right?  
 
Another  key  element  of  sexuality  is  not  having  shame  or  guilt  about  your  sexual  
desires.    So,  I  grew  up  in  a  very  Christian  household.    I  remember  having  pictures  
that  I’d  cut  out  from  the  Sports  Illustrated  Swimsuit  Catalog  in  my  closet.    One  
day,  I  just  …  I  don’t  know  why.    I  felt  so  guilty,  and  I  went  in  and  just  grabbed  
them  all  and  tore  them  all  down.      
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
I  think  I  had  probably  just  done  some  rosaries  or  some  confessionals  or  
something.    Nick,  who  you’ll  be  hearing  from  shortly,  he  came  from  a  similar  
background.    Both  of  us  have  talked  about  how  this  is  something  that  we  
struggled  with,  our  sexual  desire.    But,  it’s  just  such  a  natural  part  of  humanity.    
Fortunately,  Nick  will  be  speaking  about  this  extensively.  
 
Another  key  element  of  sexuality  that  I  want  you  to  bring  into  your  interactions  
with  women  is  it’s  not  about  when  you  want  it  most,  it’s  about  when  she  wants  it  
most.    So,  this  is  …  This  was  like  a  big  game  changer  for  me.    When  I  got  into  the  
whole  pickup  artist  thing  when  I  was  really  trying  to  go  out,  hook  up  with  chicks,  
all  that,  I  was  always  pushing  for  sex.      
 
Some  girls  would  go  for  it.    Like,  they’d  just  be  like,  “Okay!”  Like,  “Fine.”  You  
know?    Girls  got  to  get  some  too.    But,  what  I  found  was  much  more  effective,  
especially  in  developing  quality  relationships,  is  not  pushing  for  it  when  I  want  it  
most,  pushing  for  it  when  she  wants  it  most.    So,  that’s  all  about  building  sexual  
tension.    That’s  all  about  keeping  it  exciting,  giving  her  romantic  moments,  
turning  her  on,  but  not  actually  needing  to  get  off.    Hold  your  power  back  a  little  
bit.  
 
Your  desire  for  her  should  be  tempered.    At  least  if  not  in  reality,  at  least  she  
should  feel  this  a  little  bit,  your  desire  for  her  should  be  tempered  by  sexual  
abundance.    Another  guy  who  we’ll  be  hearing  from  in  a  little  bit,  he  hooks  up  
with  a  lot  of  girls.    One  of  the  first  times  he  hung  out  with  my  girlfriend,  he  was  
like,  “Yeah.    What  do  I  do?    I  work  out,  and  I  work,  and  I  fuck  girls.”    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
 
That  is  sort  of  outwardly  offensive  comment,  except  that  if  you  know  this  guy,  he  
is  so  congruent  with  it.    He  lives  that,  and  girls  can  feel  that.    They  can  just  feel  
this  guy  hooks  up  with  a  lot  of  girls.    So,  even  though  he  might  desire  her  and  he  
might  be  very  expressive  of  that  desire,  he  could  still  leave  it  in  a  moment,  and  
that’s  where  sexuality  starts  to  become  very  powerful.  
 
So,  a  few  things  about  sexuality,  if  you  can  come  back  up.    We’ve  already  
demonstrated  a  lot  of  stuff.    I  don’t  know  if  there’s  a  whole  lot  more  sexual  stuff  
we  could  demonstrate  without  clothes  coming  off  and  this  becoming  a  very  
different  production  than  we  had  planned  here.      
 
But,  I  want  to  show  you  how  to  initiate  sexuality  at  this  point,  and  then  I’ll  show  
you  kind  of  how  to  go  for  the  kiss.    So,  the  first  thing  in  initiating  sexuality  is  just  
breaking  space  with  her.    So,  a  lot  of  guys,  if  you  …  I’m  sure  this  has  happened  to  
you  before.    A  guy  approaches  you  at  a  bar,  and  he  stands  right  here.    He’s  like,  
“Hey.    Nice  to  meet  you.”  Right?    So,  he  hasn’t  broken  space  at  all.  
 
When  guys  are  more  sexual  and  more  sexually  attuned,  what  they’ll  do  is  they’ll  
come  in  and  they’ll  stand  close  to  her.    You  see  this  body  language,  and  then  
they’ll  be  comfortable  breaking  space.    So,  you’ve  probably  seen  me,  as  I  talk  to  
Alex,  rocking  in  and  out  a  lot.    So,  I’d  come  in.    Maybe  I’d  break  her  space  like  this.      
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
In  the  very  first  part  of  the  conversation  I’m  just  going  to  come  in,  and  break  her  
space,  and  talk  into  her  ear.    So,  just  merely  the  fact  that  I’m  breaking  into  her  
space  and  not  afraid  of  doing  it.  
 
Now,  here’s  the  keypoint.    I’m  sure  this  has  happened  to  you  is  guys:  They’ll  come  
up.    They’ll  talk  to  you,  and  then  they’re  just  like  here.    It’s  like,  “Whoa!    Creepy.”  
So,  you  want  to  break  space,  and  you  want  to  leave  it.    Sexuality  is  truly  a  dance.    
It’s  something  that  you  come  in.    You  come  out.    You  come  in.    You  break  space.    
And  you  come  out.  
 
Now,  we’re  going  to  introduce  a  little  bit  of  touch.    So,  maybe  when  I  come  in,  I’ll  
just  touch  her  very  gently  on  the  shoulder.    Could  you  actually  come  around  this  
way  right  here?    Yeah.    So,  maybe  when  I  come  in,  I’m  just  going  to  touch  her  real  
gently  on  the  shoulder,  and  I’m  going  to  come  back  out.      
 
Maybe  as  we  continue  to  talk,  and  if  you  could  turn  just  a  little  bit  actually  that  
way.    As  we  continue  to  talk  …  So,  I’ve  been  breaking  space.    I  come  in,  and  I  talk  
to  her  like  this.    Right?    Maybe  now  we’re  standing  next  to  each  other,  and  our  
arms  are  rubbing  up  against  each  other.    So,  we’re  like  this.  
 
Now,  the  conversation  looks  a  little  bit  like  this.    Sometimes,  in  the  past,  what  I’ll  
actually  do  is  kind  of  rub  against  her  breasts  a  little  bit  and  like  …  It’s  very  
incidental.    You’re  in  the  bar.    You’re  just  touching  her,  and  you  come  in  like  that.    
Whoops!    You  just  accidently  touched  her  boobs.    So,  as  you’re  getting  closer  and  
closer  with  each  other,  maybe  we’re  in  the  bar  like  this  and  we’re  starting  to  talk  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
a  little  bit  more  closely  and  the  heat’s  turning  up  a  little  bit.    Come  this  way  just  a  
little  bit.  
 
So,  one  thing  that  might  happen  is  …  If  you  could  open  your  legs  just  a  little  bit.    
So,  at  some  point,  we’re  going  to  be  standing  like  this.    Right?  My  leg  might  
actually  be  touching  hers.    My  friend,  Richard,  was  the  first  one  to  kind  of  show  
me  this,  and  it’s  great.    So,  I  can  be  talking  to  her  like  this  and  just  kind  of  bring  my  
leg  in  like  that  and  be  very  close  to  her  leg,  touching  like.    So,  that’s  a  very  kind  of  
sexual  move.    You  can  just  see  …  I’ll  do,  very  quickly,  the  body  language  
movements  of  one  to  the  next.  
 
So,  start  off,  we’re  talking.    Kind  of  come  in,  break  space,  come  back  out.    Now,  
we’re  talking,  and  my  hand’s  on  her  shoulder.    Come  back  out.    Maybe  it  comes  
around  behind  her  back  just  for  a  second  and  comes  back  out.    Then,  I  come  back  
in.    Now,  we’re  really  talking,  and  you  can  see  my  leg’s  on  hers.      
 
If  you  see  Nick  talk,  you’ll  see  him  kind  of  go  like  this  from  time  to  time,  and  I  can  
always  tell  when  he’s  into  a  girl  because  his  hands  are  in  his  pockets  and  he’s  just  
kind  of  gently  touching  his  crouch  against  her  leg.    But,  he’ll  give  you  some  more  
…  I  haven’t  seen  …  I  haven’t  seen  his  latest  moves,  so  I  don’t  know  if  that’s  what  
he’s  doing  these  days.  
 
Finally,  how  do  you  go  for  a  kiss?    So,  in  a  bar  situation  and  even  when  you’re  
walking  down  the  street,  it  doesn’t  have  to  be  that  hard.    Right?    So,  you  can  
come  in.    You  can  …  Did  you  guys  ever  play  hockey?    Anybody  plays  hockey  here?    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
Do  you  know  what  a  deke  is?    It’s  when  you  fake  to  go  one  way,  and  then  you  
actually  go  the  other  way.      
 
So,  in  the  spirit  of  naming  these  techniques  really  dumb  names,  I  call  this  a  “face  
deke.”  Because  what  you’re  going  to  do  is  you’re  going  to  come  into  her  face,  and  
it’s  going  to  make  it  look  like  you’re  actually  about  to  kiss  her.    But,  you’re  just  
going  to  come  to  the  side  very  briefly.  
 
So,  if  you  wouldn’t  mind  moving  this  way.    Yeah,  so  we’re  talking.    Just  watch  my  
eyes  as  I  come  into  her  face,  and  then  I’m  going  to  just  move  to  the  side.    So,  I’m  
going  to  come  in  like  this,  and  then  just  move  to  the  side  and  say  something  in  her  
ear,  and  come  back  out.    So,  again,  I  might  come  in  like  this,  and  then  just  say  
something  like  that.    What  you’ll  see  …  and  that  was  it.    Thank  you  very  much.  
 
So,  what  you’ll  see  when  you  do  that  is  as  you  start  to  come  in,  you’ll  see  her  do  1  
of  2  things.    Either  she’ll  recoil  a  little  bit,  and  then  it’s  like,  “Okay.    We’re  not  
there  yet.    Fine,”  or  she’ll  just  kind  of  give  you  this  eye  like,  “Ooh.    Is  he  about  to  
kiss  me?”  You  do  that  a  few  times,  and  it  just  really  builds  the  sexual  tension.      
 
Then,  the  last  time,  you  kind  of  come  in,  and  you  just  gently  plant  a  little  kiss  on  
her  lips.    Come  back  out,  look  her  in  the  eye  again,  come  back  and  kiss  her  again  
and  allow  it  to  go  from  there.    So,  that’s  how  you  might  go  for  a  kiss.    I’ll  give  you  
a  couple  other  examples  as  we  move  through  the  weekend.  
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       MASCULINE POWER (CONT)
 
But,  let’s  recap  masculine  power.    That  was  a  long-­‐ass  segment.    You  guys  have  
been  sitting  down  for  a  long  time  now.    Let’s  recap  what  masculine  power  is  all  
about  before  I  move  on.    Masculine  power  is  about  dominance.    You  push  to  get  
what  you  want.    It’s  about  competence.    To  put  it  very  succinctly,  you  come  
correct.    It’s  about  being  challenging.    You  have  high  expectations  for  others.    It’s  
about  being  mysterious  and  not  giving  away  your  power.    It’s  about  being  
genuine,  searching  for  and  seeking  truth  in  yourself  and  in  the  women  around  
you.    It’s  about  being  sexual.    It  brings  you  pleasure  to  bring  her  pleasure.  
 
There  are  a  lot  of  other  great  character  traits  as  well.    The  whole  Ten  Code  Course  
is  12  character  traits  that  I  find  helpful  as  a  complete  man.    But,  these  6  specific  
character  traits  are  when  you  start  to  look  at  men  in  literotica  and  romance  
novels  and  see  the  sort  of  man  who  woman  really  obsess  over,  these  are  the  
character  traits  that  they  have  cultivated  in  their  own  life.    So,  as  we  continue  to  
go  through  the  weekend,  I  will  show  you  more  of  these  in  action,  make  sure  that  
we  link  everything  back  to  them.  
 
For  the  time  being,  any  questions  about  the  vast  majority  of  things  that  I  just  
discussed?    Or,  if  you  guys  want  to  take  a  pause  for  a  moment  before  you  reflect  
…  Any  questions?    Not  so  far?    All  right.    If  you  do  have  a  question,  we  can  come  
back  to  it.    We’ll  close  up  this  segment  now,  and  the  next  one  is  …  Oh!    Oh.    Oh,  
my.    Obsession  Perspectives.    We’ll  have  a  couple  of  my  friends  joining  to  talk  
about  various  traits,  perhaps  give  another  demo  or  2,  and  light  up  the  room.

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       Q&A WITH ALEX
 

CHAPTER 4: Q&A WITH ALEX

Christian:    So  for  those  of  you  at  home,  and  also  those  of  you  here,  one  of  our  
guests  had  the  brilliant  idea  to  ask  Alex  how  she  felt  when  we  were  doing  this;  
what  were  your  emotions  and  what  were  your  feelings?  So  let's  just  go  through  a  
couple  of  them.  One  of  them  was,  obviously,  just  breaking  space;  how  did  the  
whole  dance  feel?  Off?  On?  

Alex:    It  starts  out  being  a  little  bit  uncomfortable,  but  that's  kind  of  what's  
exciting  about  it.  It  builds  a  tension  and  then  you  can  get  closer  and  closer  and  the  
dance  becomes  even  more  fun  and  more  intimate,  but  it's  that  initial  kind  of  
nervousness  and  taken  abackness  that  ignites  it  for  me,  anyway.  

Christian:    Okay.  But  if  I  had  to  stay  here  than  I  probably  not-­‐-­‐  

Alex:    Yeah.  

Christian:    So  you  have  to  do  the  breakaway  and-­‐-­‐?  

Alex:    Yeah.  

Christian:    Okay.  So  how  about  when  we  start  talking  about  serious  eye  contact.  
Does  that-­‐-­‐  how  does  that  make  you  feel?  The  whole  take-­‐away,  going  to  the  
bathroom,  or-­‐-­‐  

Alex:    Yeah,  it's  naughty.  It's  playful.  The  eye  contact  is  the  thing  that  resonated  
with  me  most,  because  it  says  more  then  anything  else  you  can  do  with  your  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       Q&A WITH ALEX
 
body.  It  speaks  volume  and  it  touches  a  different  part  of  you  than  even  just  a  
simple  touch  would  do.    

Christian:    I  agree.  It  kind  of  hits  you  like  right  here  here.  How  about  -­‐  let's  see  
what  else  -­‐  is  there  anything  that  you  kind  of  noticed  like...  I  know  there  was  
another  that  I  wanted  to  ask  you-­‐-­‐  being  pushed  against  the  wall?  

Alex:    Oh,  I  like  that.  I  just  like  that.  

Christian:    Most  girls  actually  do.  So  there's  that  one.  How  about  selective  
attention  where  it  starts-­‐-­‐  just  lose  interest  a  little  bit.  Did  I  do  that  right?  

Alex:    Yeah,  that's  the  one  that  almost  pissed  me  off.    

Christian:    That’s  perfect.  That's  exactly  what  it's  supposed  to  do.  

Alex:    Yeah,  and  made  me  kind  of  doubt  myself  and  stumble  over  my  words  a  little  
bit.  Because  I  was  like,  "What  am  I  not  saying,  what  am  I  saying?"  But  at  the  same  
time  excited  me.  Liked  it  a  little  bit.  Made  me  want  to  say  something  right,  get  
him  back,  like  win  him  back  over  like  you  were  saying.  

Christian:    Okay,  cool,  cool.  I'm  trying  to  think  if  there's  anything  else  that  we've  
done.  Anything  that  stood  out  to  you?  You  mentioned  the  eye  contact,  you  
mentioned  the  dance;  anything  else  stood  out  for  you?  

Alex:    Yeah,  when  you  asked  for  my  number,  the  dominant-­‐-­‐  I  know  that  was  the  
first  thing  that  we  did,  but  the  way  you  asked  for  it  was  almost  like  you  told  me  to  
give  it  to  you,  and  there  was  something  about  the  suggestion  that  made  me  want  
to  give  it  to  you.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       Q&A WITH ALEX
 
Christian:    Absolutely.  It  starts  with  a  number  and  then  it  becomes  a  date  and  
then  it  becomes  bondage.  It's  like  very  simple  after  that  (laughter).  Literotca,  you  
guys;  not  my  life.  Alright,  cool.  Anything  else?  Again,  this  is  just  something  we  
thought  to  record  in  a  spare  moment.  Anything  I  did  wrong?  

Alex:    No.    

Christian:    Oh  wait,  one  other  thing.  Was  the  technique  -­‐  not  the  technique  -­‐  the  
thing  I  said...  I  said  a  lot  of  things.  What  was  the  thing  that  I  said  that  you-­‐-­‐  oh,  the  
mysterious  compliment.  And  you're  like,  "I  wasn't  expecting  that  one.  I  don't  think  
I  put  that  in  the  notes  that  I  sent  you."  

Alex:    Yeah,  that  caught  me  off  guard.  

Christian:  The  “have  you  ever  looked  at  yourself  in  the  mirror”,  right?  

Alex:    Yeah,  it's  just  kind  of  weird  and  mysterious.  But  it  makes  you  giggle  and  
puts  you  on  the  spot  and  being  on  the  spot  puts  him  in  control  and  me  kind  of  
like,  (slaps  hands).  

Christian:    You  should  be  teaching  this  stuff.  Absolutely.  Awesome.  Alright,  thanks  
so  much.  
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 

CHAPTER 5: NICK SPARKS ON SEXUALITY

I'm  here  to  talk  with  you  guys  about  getting  sexual;  sexuality.    The  reason  why  I  
want  to  talk  about  it  and  the  reason  why  I'm  so  excited  to  talk  with  you  is  because  
it's  one  of  the  most  common  things,  common  reasons  that  guys  come  to  me  to  
work  with  me.      

Sometimes  they  want  to  approach  better  and  get  more  comfortable  approaching  
everyone.    Sometimes  their  conversations  are  boring  and  they  don’t  really  go  
anywhere.    As  you've  seen  already  today,  the  stuff  Christian  has  talked  about  has  
really  helped  to  make  that  not  the  case.      

Still  by  and  large,  the  most  common  thing  I  get  asked  about,  getting  sexual.    It's  
about  escalation.    More  specifically,  guys  saying  that  I  can  get  to  a  friendly  place  
with  a  girl;  we  can  go  and  we  can  have  a  nice  conversation  and  we  can  get  along,  
but  I  have  trouble  taking  it  to  that  other  place;  I  have  trouble  taking  it  to  a  more  
sexual  place.  It  always  seems  like  it's  out  of  my  control  and  sometimes  if  she's  
more  forward  in  taking  it  there  and  she's  a  little  bit  more  aggressive  in  it  then  
things  are  fine  and  things  work  out.      

If  that's  not  happening,  more  often  than  not,  I  have  a  little  trouble  taking  it  to  a  
more  romantic  place,  taking  it  to  the  place  where  I  want  it  to  go  when  I  want  it  to  
go  there.    Can  anyone  here  relate  to  that?    Raise  your  hand,  please.    Good.    I'm  
speaking  to  something  that  you  guys  will  enjoy  hearing.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
It's  a  tough  problem  because  on  one  hand,  we  know  that  it's  our  job  to  make  the  
first  move.    You  know  women  have  been  told  their  entire  life  you  don’t  make  the  
first  move,  that's  inappropriate,  that's  not  classy,  that's  slutty,  that's  whatever.    
It's  your  job  as  a  guy.    If  a  guy  is  interested  in  you,  he  will  make  a  move.    

If  he's  not,  he  won't.    You  guys  have  heard  this  your  entire  lives.    You  know  that  
it's  your  job  to  do  something,  but  at  the  same  time,  we've  been  told  our  entire  
lives  that  being  sexual  is  creepy,  that  being  sexual  is  inappropriate,  that  being  
sexual  is  too  aggressive  or  it's  just  wrong.      

We've  got  this  dichotomy  like  we're  supposed  to  do  this  stuff,  we  know  it  but  we  
have  no  idea  what  the  hell  we're  supposed  to  do  or  how  we're  supposed  to  do  it.    
That's  why  more  often  than  not  guys  are  telling  me  Nick,  I'm  having  trouble  with  
this.    It's  not  their  fault.      

It's  the  society  that  we're  all  born  and  raised  into  that  filled  us  with  all  these  
mixed  signals  and  messages  about  what  the  hell  we're  actually  supposed  to  do  
with  all  of  this.    What  exactly  are  we  supposed  to  do  about  this?    That's  what  I'll  
be  talking  with  you  about.  It's  your  job  to  make  the  move.    You  have  to  take  it  
somewhere.    Whenever  you  say  a  girl  is  more  forward  or  she  lets  me  know  she  
likes  me  a  little  bit  more  then  I  feel  comfortable  making  the  move.    What  you're  
really  saying  is  I  need  her  to  make  the  first  move  for  me.      

When  she  does  it  then  it's  fine,  but  when  she's  not,  I  have  trouble  going  there.    
I'm  too  afraid  to  make  that  move  because  I'm  not  sure  how,  or  I  don’t  want  to  do  
the  wrong  thing.    I  don’t  want  to  be  creepy.    I  don’t  want  to  be  inappropriate.  I  
don’t  want  mess  this  thing  up  that's  going  so  well.    I  need  her  to  do  it  for  me.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
As  you  guys  know,  the  success  rate  on  that  is  only  so  so.    Women  learning  that  
they're  not  supposed  to  do  this  stuff  very  rarely  will  be  the  ones  to  be  more  
forward.    More  often  than  not,  you're  having  this  friendly  conversation  that's  not  
going  anywhere,  wondering  if  there  could  potentially  be  something  with  you  and  
this  girl.    It's  your  job  to  make  the  move.    

It's  your  job  to  take  things  to  a  more  romantic  place.    When  do  you  do  this?    One  
of  the  most  common  questions.    It's  really  simple.    When  she's  giving  you  those  
signals  that  she's  getting  excited  as  Christian  was  talking  about,  that's  she  getting  
a  little  more  turned  on.    

She's  smiling  a  little  bit  brighter,  her  real  smile.  She's  starting  to  talk  more,  
contributing  more  to  the  conversation  in  those  pauses  that  you're  leaving  for  her  
to  fill.  She's  turning  towards  you  a  little  bit  more.    She's  just  getting  a  little  more  
excited.    You  have  to  be  careful  because  these  are  the  same  signals  that  a  girl  will  
give  you  if  she's  interested  in  being  friends  with  you.      

We  all  want  stronger  signals  in  that  but  most  girls  won't  do  it.    Why?    They've  
been  told  they're  not  supposed  to.    It  can  be  tough.  Every  woman  that  I've  spoken  
to  about  this,  they'll  agree  with  me.    Yeah,  we  get  the  exact  some  signals  whether  
a  girl  is  into  us  or  whether  they  just  want  to  be  friends.      

It's  still  our  job  when  we  see  that  to  take  the  risk  and  make  a  move  and  go  for  it.    
She  might  just  want  to  be  friends.    We  might  have  misread  it.    Still  our  job  to  go  
for  it  and  find  out  because  if  she  is  interested,  9  times  out  of  10,  that's  only  the  
way  that  we're  going  to  get  anywhere.    How  do  you  do  that?      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
The  secret  here,  the  secret  in  these  mixed  signals  that  we're  getting  and  
everything  else  is  to  make  more  subtle  movements  that  to  the  majority  of  people  
don’t  look  like  anything  whatsoever  and  that  can  never  get  you  called  out  for  
being  inappropriate.      

You  know  what  I'm  talking  about.    If  she  likes  you  and  she's  into  you,  she'll  
respond  more  powerfully  and  she'll  let  you  know  that  she  likes  that  and  she  wants  
you  to  continue  to  go  further.    If  she's  not  into  it,  you'll  see  she  gets  a  little  bit  
more  uncomfortable.    She  pulls  away  a  little  bit.      

She  stops  those  signals  that  lets  you  know  she  was  into  you,  let's  you  know  that  
she's  not  interested  in  anything  further  right  now  at  this  point  in  time  for  
whatever  reason.    You  didn't  do  anything  inappropriate.    What  are  you  talking  
about?    You're  just  being  friendly.  Can't  get  called  out  on  anything.    Completely  
scot-­‐free.      

That's  really  the  secret  and  that's  what  I'm  going  to  be  talking  with  you  guys  
about.    How  to  take  things  to  a  sexual  level  because  you  have  to  because  it's  your  
job,  and  how  to  do  so  in  a  way  that  will  never  get  you  flagged  for  being  
inappropriate,  creepy,  awkward,  or  anything  else.      

A  lot  of  confusion.    Most  guys  think  when  it's  time  to  get  sexual,  they  think  what  
do  I  do,  what  do  I  say.    I  got  to  do  something  or  I  got  to  say  something.    Getting  
sexual  at  its  roots,  it's  nothing  more  than  an  expression  of  appreciation.    I'll  say  
that  again.    Getting  sexual  at  its  root  is  nothing  more  than  you  expressing  the  fact  
that  you  appreciate  this  person  in  front  of  you  in  a  special  way.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
Letting  them  know  you  appreciate  the  way  they  look,  the  way  their  hair  is  shiny  
and  falls  on  their  neck,  the  way  the  clothes  hug  their  body  showing  off  their  
feminine  form,  creating  feelings  inside  of  you  when  you  look  at  them.      

The  feminine  form  is  made  by  nature,  God,  whatever,  to  inspire  these  natural  
positive  feelings  in  us.    In  a  lot  of  middle  eastern  cultures,  women  are  forced  to  
cover  themselves  head  to  toe  because  it's  believed  that  feminine  form  is  too  
much  for  men.    It  will  drive  them  into  hysterics  or  whatever.      

Whereas  in  our  culture,  we're  bombarded  with  the  feminine  form  all  the  time.    
We've  been  taught  those  feelings  are  wrong,  those  feelings  are  inappropriate,  
don’t  feel  them,  just  be  friendly,  don’t  push  that  out  of  the  way,  be  professional  
as  possible.    That's  how  you  get  a  girl  to  like  you.      

You  guys  know  how  well  that  works  out.    There's  still  these  feelings  going  on  in  
our  bodies  when  we  see  a  woman,  particularly  a  woman  who  we  have  some  
chemistry  with,  that  sets  off  a  little  extra  something  that  makes  our  heart  beat  
faster,  creates  these  natural  positive  emotions.      

The  real  secret  to  getting  sexual,  the  real  secret  to  getting  more  romantic  
escalating  is  simply  to  allow  her  to  feel  the  feelings  that  she's  naturally  creating  in  
your  body,  allowing  her  to  feel  the  turn  on,  just  showing  your  appreciation  to  her,  
just  showing  the  fact  that  you  love  how  she  makes  you  feel  when  you're  around  
her.      

At  its  very  core,  that's  all  escalation,  that's  all  getting  sexual  is.    How  do  you  do  
this?  Once  again,  it's  got  to  start  and  end  with  the  feeling  in  your  body.    If  you're  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
in  your  head  thinking  what  do  I  do,  how  do  I  get  sexual,  the  whole  thing  is  going  
to  feel  analytical.    If  you're  in  your  body  feeling  the  feelings  that  you've  got  going  
on,  it's  going  to  create  a  different  vibe  in  the  interaction.    For  example,  if  I  look  at  
you  guys  and  I'm  talking,  I'm  thinking  platonically  and  I'm  talking  to  you  like  a  
good  friend,  very  platonic,  no  appreciation,  no  sexual  tent  whatsoever.      

I'm  just  talking  to  you  guys  about  this,  that,  stuff  I  like,  sports,  cars,  that  stuff.    
Now,  if  I  take  a  moment,  and  maybe  there's  a  woman  around  that  can  help  this  
process  a  little  bit  and  I  feel  more  that  turn  on  in  my  body,  I  feel  more  of  that  
tingling  in  my  chest,  that  natural  God  given  feeling.      

Now  when  I  look  at  you,  now  when  I'm  talking,  there's  a  very  different  feeling  to  
it.    There's  a  very  different  vibe  in  the  air.    I  could  say  to  someone  what  did  you  
have  for  breakfast.    I'm  serious.    What  did  you  eat  for  breakfast?    What's  so  
funny?    You  afraid  to  tell  me?    You  embarrassed?      

What  am  I  talking  about?    Am  I  talking  about  breakfast  right  there  or  am  I  talking  
about  sex?    Thinly  veiled  as  a  breakfast  discussion.  That's  the  thing  about  getting  
more  romantic.    That's  the  thing  about  getting  more  sexual  is  at  its  root,  you  don’t  
need  to  say  anything,  don’t  need  to  do  anything  because  it  starts  off  with  this  
feeling  right  here  in  the  vibe  that  you're  creating.    Notice  there's  nothing  
inappropriate  about  this.    This  is  just  flirting.    If  you  ever  wanted  to  know  flirting  
was,  you  ever  curious  about  the  definition  of  flirting,  it's  simply  communicating  
with  someone  with  this  subtext.      

It's  communicating  with  someone  with  a  subtext  of  I'm  into  you,  I  like  talking  to  
you,  it  feels  good  when  I'm  talking  to  you,  I  want  to  do  it  more.    That's  all  flirting  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
is.    Notice  you  can  never  be  called  out  for  anything  inappropriate.    The  waitress  
brings  me  my  pancakes;  those  pancakes  look  delicious,  thank  you.    Is  anybody  
going  to  say  you're  being  creepy,  you're  being  inappropriate?    You're  just  being  
charming,  charismatic.      

You  need  to  start  very  very  first  and  foremost  interjecting  that  natural  desire,  that  
appreciation,  that  sexuality  into  your  interactions  no  matter  what  you're  talking  
about,  no  matter  what  you're  saying.    Two  people  could  be  sitting  at  a  dinner  
party  and  they're  flirting.    Anybody  who's  watching  them  knows  that  they're  going  
to  hook  up  at  some  point  or  another.    Just  looking  at  each  other,  smiling,  
laughing.      

All  the  guys  who  don’t  know  about  this,  they're  looking  at  this  and  they're  
thinking  what  is  he  saying,  what  is  he  doing  to  get  this  response  out  of  her.    He's  
not  saying  anything.  Their  conversation  is  boring.      

How  did  he  do  that?  They're  just  talking  about  the  weather.    Why  is  she  looking  at  
him  like  that?    He  must  have  done  something  before  dinner.    He  must  have  done  
something  back  there.  That's  what  it  is.    Can't  figure  it  out.    It's  so  confusing.    
What  is  he  doing?    What  did  he  say?    It  doesn't  matter  what  you  say.      

The  only  thing  that  matters  is  can  she  feel  the  fact  that  you're  getting  turned  on  
by  her,  that  you're  enjoying  her  company.    When  she  smiles  really  big,  are  you  
just  soaking  it  in  and  enjoying  it?    Are  you  in  your  head  worrying  about  what  
you're  going  to  say  next?      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
If  you're  in  your  head  worried  about  anything,  it's  going  to  feel  analytical,  it's  
going  to  feel  awkward,  it's  going  to  feel  platonic.    Your  interaction  is  going  to  go  
straight  to  the  friend  zone  every  single  time.    If  I'm  speaking  to  a  woman  like  this,  
how  did  you  ever  get  into  that  situation.      

When  I'm  feeling  more  sexual  in  my  chest,  the  words  that  come  into  my  brain  
naturally  have  a  more  sexual  tent  to  it.    They're  going  to  be  more  laden  with  
innuendo.    If  I'm  trying  to  think  how  to  be  sexy,  the  only  words  that  are  going  to  
pop  into  my  head  are  boring  and  analytical.    It  starts  and  ends  with  the  feeling  in  
your  body.      

If  you're  not  communicating,  and  it's  not  always  easy  if  you're  not  used  it.    If  
you're  more  used  to  repressing  those  feelings  around  girls  you  like  because  you  
think  it's  inappropriate,  actually  being  there  and  actually  allowing  her  to  feel  it  full  
on  when  you're  speaking  to  her  can  take  some  practice.    In  my  workshops,  we  
really  work  on  this.      

You  don’t  need  to  do  that.    It  starts  and  ends  with  a  feeling  when  you're  
interacting  with  her.    Then  there's  some  other  things  you  can  also  do  to  speed  up  
this  process.    For  that,  I'd  like  to  invite  Alex  back  up  to  the  stage.      

Another  round  of  applause  for  Alex.    There  will  be  more  invasion  of  personal  
space  right  here,  so  she  deserves  the  round  of  applause.    First  and  foremost  it  has  
to  start  off  with  the  look  in  your  eyes.    If  she  can't  feel  the  fact  that  you're  excited  
to  talk  to  her,  that  you  appreciate  what  she's  doing  and  that  you  enjoy  it  when  
she  smiles  like  that,  you  might  as  well  not  do  anything  else.    It  just  stops  and  ends  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
right  there.    I'm  flirting  with  her  as  I  do  that,  she  responds  a  little  more  stronger  to  
me.    She  turns  towards  me  and  giggles  a  little  bit  more.      

When  that  happens  where  2  people  are  in  this  moment  and  there's  that  
chemistry  brewing  between  them,  once  again,  it's  got  to  come  from  you.    As  a  
man,  you  have  to  typically  be  the  source  of  it.    You  have  to  be  the  one  to  set  this  
in  motion.      

When  you're  in  the  zone  with  a  girl  and  there's  this  chemistry  and  there's  this  
flirtation,  one  of  the  other  things  that  happens  if  you're  really  paying  attention  to  
the  way  you're  feeling  is  there's  just  going  to  be  a  natural  draw  between  you  and  
the  other  person.    You're  just  going  to  feel  like  you  want  to  be  closer  to  them.      

You're  just  going  to  feel  like  just  touching  them,  even  a  little  bit,  like  just  sends  
tingles  that  go  through  your  body.    That's  what  happens  when  2  people  are  
attracted  to  each  other.    It  feels  good  when  you  touch.    You  can't  help  it.      

It's  one  of  those  wonderful  amazing  life  things.    When  you're  in  that  moment,  
physical  escalation,  touching,  getting  more  physical  sexually.    It's  another  thing  
guys  have  a  lot  of  questions.    How  do  I  do  it,  how  do  I  do  it  right,  how  do  I  not  do  
it  wrong?    Sexual  escalation  when  done  perfectly  is  nothing  more  than  you,  once  
again,  just  expressing  the  fact  that  you  want  to  be  closer  to  her.      

That  it  feels  really  good  when  you  guys  touch  each  other,  that  you  just  want  to  
break  this  space  that's  there  between  the  2  of  you.    Once  again,  if  you're  in  your  
head  thinking  about  what  way  do  I  touch  her  that  will  turn  her  on  the  most,  it's  
going  to  feel  super  analytical  like  a  doctor's  appointment  with  her.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
If  you're  really  connected  to  the  feeling  in  your  body  and  you're  touching  her  a  
way  that  feel  amazing  for  you  that  you  just  can't  help  that  you're  drawn  to  then  
it's  going  to  feel  great  for  her  too.      

I'm  going  to  talk  quickly  about  some  of  the  more  specific  things  that  I  do  when  I'm  
attracted  to  a  woman,  when  I  find  myself  in  that  moment  where  we  have  
chemistry  and  I  want  to  be  closer  to  her.    These  are  just  some  of  the  ways  that  my  
own  natural  sexuality  expresses  itself.      

These  are  some  of  the  ways  that  my  own  personality  combines  with  my  sexuality  
on  to  do  what  I  do.    When  you  do  it,  these  should  just  be  guidelines  for  you.    Just  
use  this  as  these  are  the  ways  that  my  body  likes  to  be  closer  to  a  girl  when  I'm  
attracted  to  her.    For  you,  these  are  just  guidelines.      

I  try  not  to  get  a  feel  for  it  if  you're  not  comfortable  doing  these  things,  to  see  the  
positive  responses.    At  first  if  you're  doing  this  right,  you'll  be  terrified  to  do  it.    
Think  this  girl  is  going  to  reject  you  if  you  do  it.    Then  you  do  it,  you  see  they  just  
light  up  like  never  before.      

Then  it  starts  to  feel  good.    This  is  what  I'm  supposed  to  do.  Just  use  these  as  
guidelines  but  as  you  get  more  comfortable  as  you  do  this  more,  then  it's  going  to  
look  a  little  bit  different.    You'll  be  doing  different  things,  touching  in  different  
ways,  just  guidelines.      

We're  going  to  start  off  once  again  with  ways  that  will  allow  you  to  express  your  
interest,  express  that  appreciation,  express  that  attraction  that  you  have,  but  also  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
can't  be  called  out  for  being  inappropriate  in  any  way  whatsoever  because  those  
are  great.      

First  thing  that  I'm  going  to  do  is  we  talk  about  this  fearless,  Christian  talks  about  
this,  when  you're  talking  to  someone,  you're  just  going  to  be  moving  closer  and  
moving  further  away  in  your  movement.    Whenever  you  have  one  human  body  
next  to  another  one,  heart  rates  rise.    Whenever  you  move  them  away,  it  
dissipates  and  it  makes  her  want  to  come  closer  to  you.    Yes?  

Then  this  is  just  hey  it's  loud  in  here  in  this  place,  I  can't  hear  you  very  well.    I  do  
this  with  all  of  my  friends,  just  casual  ...  I  call  this  hand  checking.    Just  creates  a  
little  bit  of  physical  contact  right  there  which  creates  intimacy.    This  is  just  normal  
stuff  that  I  do  with  my  friends.    We're  flirting.      

She's  opening  up  and  I  want  to  see  does  she  want  to  be  friends  or  is  she  
interested  in  something  more.    The  next  time  I  lean  in,  I  might  just  get  an  extra  
inch  closer.    I'm  going  to  get  my  cheek  right  there  next  to  her  ear  and  she'll  be  
able  to  feel  my  breath  down  the  back  of  her  neck  a  little  bit.      

It's  only  an  inch  and  it  can  just  be  an  accident.    You  lean  in  too  close  and  she  pulls  
away  a  little  bit;  I  just  accidentally  went  too  far.    It's  loud  in  here,  I've  been  doing  
this  already.    What's  an  extra  inch?      

That  extra  inch  makes  a  big  difference  in  terms  of  the  feeling  in  your  body.    If  
you're  paying  attention  the  way  you're  feeling,  then  just  moving  that  extra  inch  
closer  creates  a  much  more  tumultuous  experience.    I'm  sure  as  you're  watching,  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
me  talking  to  her  like  this  versus  me  talking  to  her  like  this  just  raises  the  tension  
in  the  room  a  little  bit.      

It  might  send  some  goosebumps  down  the  back  of  her  neck,  creates  a  tingling  in  
our  bodies  that  feels  good.    Once  again,  if  she's  uncomfortable,  she'll  pull  away  
and  I'll  pull  back  and  I'll  keep  on  my  further  things  just  nice  and  friendly  from  then  
on.    What  are  you  talking  about?      

We're  just  pals.    Get  it  straight.    Don’t  get  any  funny  ideas.  I  don’t  know  what  
you're  talking  about.    Once  again,  I'm  flirting  but  she  can't  do  anything  about  it.    
Call  me  inappropriate  because  I'm  just  talking  about  breakfast.    You  got  that?    We  
need  to  take  a  quick  break?    Sorry.      

One  of  the  next  things  that  I'll  do,  it's  very  slow.    you  can't  get  called  out  for  it.    
You  place  your  hands  to  your  side.    When  I  lean  in,  I  just  let  my  hand  graze  against  
hers.    Hands  carry  a  lot  of  nerve  endings  in  them.    They're  very  very  sensitive.      

Once  again,  if  you're  feeling  in  your  body,  it  should  create  a  nice  little  tingle  up  
your  arm  when  you  guys  brush  hands.    Once  again,  was  that  an  accident?    When  
I'm  just  leaning  in  to  talk.    Is  that  on  purpose?    I  don’t  know.    Nobody  can  tell  me  
one  way  or  the  other.      

If  she  pulls  her  hand  away  a  little  bit,  probably  more  interested  in  being  friends.    
She  keeps  her  hand  right  there,  then  she  probably  wouldn’t  mind  if  I  played  
around  a  little  bit.    Once  again,  all  the  nerve  endings  in  the  hand,  hand  holding  is  
one  of  the  most  flirtation  sexy  things  in  the  world.    You  want  to  hold  hands.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
It's  a  beautiful  thing.    Once  again,  if  you're  really  paying  attention  how  you  feel  
when  you're  attracted  to  this  girl,  it  feels  amazing.    One  other  thing  I  might  do  to  
test  the  waters  is  I'm  leaning  in.    Instead  of  resting  my  hand  on  the  arm,  oops,  all  
of  a  sudden  it  rested  on  the  hip  instead.    

This  is  a  very  sensitive  area  for  any  human  being.    Once  again,  as  I  lean  in  and  my  
hand  accidentally  falls  right  there,  you're  going  to  get  a  sense  for  how  she  feels  
about  you.    If  she  stays  there,  it's  probably  a  good  sign.    If  she  tenses  up  and  
moves  away,  we're  just  friends.    No  harm  no  foul.    Brilliant.    Let's  say  that  she  likes  
my  initial  signal.    Let's  say  get  closer,  she  smells  nice,  you  can  just  hang  out  there.    
Playing  around  with  her  hand  that  feels  good,  back  of  the  hand.      

What  are  some  ways  that  I  might  take  it  to  the  next  level?    This  is  important  right  
here  because  every  girl  has  different  levels  of  boundaries  for  what  she  wants.    
Every  girl  wants  different  things.    Don’t  make  the  mistake  of  projecting  on  a  girl.  
She's  not  that  kind  of  girl.      

Don’t  put  her  on  some  porcelain  tower  and  say  that  she's  like  this  because  you  
can't  handle  the  reality  of  what  she  really  wants.    Every  woman  has  got  different  
boundaries  and  it's  your  job  to  find  out  where  those  boundaries  are.    You're  a  
guy.    You  desire  her.  You  want  to  be  next  to  her.  You  want  to  be  close  to  her.    She  
knows  it.      

Everybody  in  the  world  knows  it.    If  you're  too  afraid  to  express  that,  if  you're  
going  to  hold  yourself  back  because  in  your  head  thinking  you're  not  supposed  to  
do  this  or  that,  that  she's  going  to  start  to  wonder  is  this  guy  really  into  me  or  is  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
he  just  going  through  these  motions.    She's  going  to  wonder  does  this  guy  not  
have  the  confidence  to  express  his  true  desire  for  me.    

 Either  way,  her  attraction  is  probably  going  to  be  falling.    It's  your  job  to  push  
things  forward  until  you  find  out  where  her  boundaries  are  and  then  wherever  
they  are,  for  that  particular  day/night,  you  just  swim  around  in  a  happy  place  
around  them.  Say  we're  getting  close  and  talking.    She  likes  this.      

Another  thing  I  might  do  if  she  likes  that  is  an  open  palm  on  the  hip.    This  is  very  
intimate.    If  a  girl  is  letting  you  do  this,  it's  about  as  positive  of  a  sign  as  you  can  
possibly  imagine.    Let's  say  that  this  is  a  little  too  much.    She  gets  uncomfortable  
there  but  everything  up  to  it  so  far  was  good.    Great.    I'm  just  going  to  swim.      

I'm  going  to  be  swimming  with  a  closed  hand.  I'll  do  that  for  the  rest  of  the  night.    
Maybe  test  this  out  a  little  bit  later.    I'm  going  to  respect  those  boundaries  
wherever  they  are  and  I'm  just  going  to  swim  around  and  play  around  in  that  
area.    A  woman  will  always  respect  a  guy  who  pushes  to  find  out  wherever  her  
boundaries  are  and  then  respects  those  boundaries.      

She  will  not  have  any  patience  or  respect  for  a  man  who's  too  afraid  to  find  that  
out.    It's  your  job.    You  might  use  the  open  palm.    If  you  just  move  your  hip  ...  Just  
moving  the  hip  just  a  little  bit  like  this,  very  sexy,  very  dominant,  very  powerful  
move  that  99  out  of  100  women  love.    You  put  your  arm  around  her  and  just  pull  
her  ever  so  gently  towards  you.    You  don’t  want  to  do  this  for  too  long.    You  want  
to  make  sure  you  keep  the  in  and  out,  the  dance  going.    Otherwise,  if  it's  just  on  
too  much,  it  will  start  to  become  awkward.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
If  you're  too  far  away,  it's  going  to  fizzle.    As  you're  coming  closer,  getting  further  
away.    Once  again,  you  have  to  smelling  her  hair  and  you  have  to  just  be  
connected  to  your  body,  feeling  how  amazing  it  feels  to  be  next  to  this  person.      

Then  when  you're  right  here  and  you  notice  as  you're  leaning  in  and  you're  
coming  out,  your  bodies  just  get  closer  and  closer  every  single  time  if  you  play  
with  the  hands  a  little  bit,  it's  a  little  weird  for  her  to  look  at  me  because  it's  
intense.      

There's  a  lot  of  feelings  right  here.    When  you're  right  here  and  she's  actually  
comfortable  enough  to  look  you  in  the  eyes  because  you  didn't  just  meet  5  
minutes  ago,  you're  coming  in  close,  you're  pulling  out,  talking.    When  you're  at  
this  point  right  here  and  she's  looking  at  you,  it's  almost  impossible  for  a  kiss  not  
to  happen.  Your  faces  are  close.    I'm  not  going  to  kiss  you.  

Sometimes  I  might  test  it  out  if  I'm  not  sure  we're  here  but  I'm  not  sure  exactly  
how  she  feels.    I  might  go  for  a  cheek  kiss.    Right  there.    I'm  going  to  keep  my  face  
around.    If  she  keeps  her  face  there  and  her  face  around  after  a  cheek  kiss,  and  
she's  not  turning  away  right  now.    If  she's  giving  me  that  signal,  I  would  not  kiss  
her  whatsoever  right  there.    If  we're  right  here  then  it's  impossible  for  a  kiss  not  
to  happen.    That's  all  physical  escalation  is.    That's  all  sexuality  is  in  general.      

It's,  once  again,  feeling  that  desire  you  have  in  your  body,  allowing  her  to  feel  
that,  expressing  that  need  or  that  desire  to  get  closer  to  her  and  how  amazing  
that  feels  as  you  do  so.    Then  finding  out  where  her  boundaries  happen  to  be  and  
just  enjoying  yourself  along  the  way.    Thank  you.    Another  big  round  of  applause  
for  Alex.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       NICK SPARKS
 
Turn  that  around  to  the  whole  audience.    That's  getting  sexual.    That's  what  you  
need  to  do  most  of  the  time  if  you  are  interested  in  a  woman  and  you  want  it  to  
go  some  place.    I'll  say  right  now,  if  you're  sitting  right  here,  if  you're  watching  
this,  your  ability  to  judge  when  a  girl  is  into  you  and  she  wants  you  to  do  this  stuff,  
it's  probably  terrible.    

No  offense  or  anything,  but  if  I  would  bet  money  on  your  ability  to  gauge  how  
into  a  girl  is  into  you  and  take  appropriate  actions,  I  would  be  keeping  all  of  my  
money  to  myself.    For  a  general  rule,  if  a  girl  is  still  talking  to  you  2  to  3  minutes  
into  a  conversation,  start  taking  some  of  these  moves.      

Trust  me  on  that  one.  When  you  see  how  positively  she  responds  despite  you  
being  terrified,  that's  when  you  start  to  change  on  the  inside.    That's  when  you  
say  women  like  this,  this  is  what  I'm  supposed  to  do,  this  feels  really  good,  I  can't  
believe  it's  this  freaking  easy.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 

CHAPTER 6: JASON CAPITAL: BEING A CHALLENGE

What  is  up  everybody?    How  did  it  go  this  morning?    Cool,  so  far?    Everyone?    A  
lot  of  notes  and  shit  like  that,  or  has  it  been  ...  it's  been  good?    OK.    What  I  don't  
want  to  do  is  I  don't  want  to  go  crazy  and  go  down  like  a  million  fucking  pathways  
where  it  gets  all  discombobulated  and  shit,  so  I  have  three  main  points  that  I  want  
to  cove  today  that  have  to  do  with  being  challenging.      

I  guess  what  kind  of  differentiates  me  from  Christian  at  least  this  point  in  our  lives  
is  actually,  it's  two  things,  one,  he  doesn't  tell  himself  he  loves  himself  in  the  
mirror  everyday.    The  second  thing  is  that  he's  definitely  much  more  a  long  term  
relationship  guy,  at  least  at  this  point  in  his  life,  and  I'm  much  more  like  until  
Wednesday  kind  of  thing.    What  I'm  going  to  talk  about  today  applies  to  when  you  
first  meet  a  girl,  the  first  date,  the  first  couple  dates,  and  also  long  term,  forever.    
This  kind  of  applies  for  both  of  these  things.  

I  literally  flew  in  from  Detroit  this  morning  after  coming  in  from  L.A.,  about  4  days  
before;  a  lot  of  flying,  I  don't  know  what  time  it  is,  I've  had  no  food  today,  but  I'm  
going  to  fucking  go  hard  for  everyone  here,  so  this  should  be  cool.      

On  the  plane,  I  was  like,  "you  know  what,  I  need  like  an  acronym  to  describe  this;  
every  cool  thing  has  a  cool  name  or  an  acronym  to  describe  someone's  
framework."    The  three  main  point  that  we're  going  to  cover  today  is  simply:  AIM;  
A-­‐I-­‐M.    Actually  it  has  a  deeper  meaning  to  it,  it  actually  worked  out.    I  figured  out  
the  letters,  I  was  like,  "yes,  this  is  going  to  be  amazing,  this  is  going  to  be  great."  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
It's  AIM.    This  is  basically  to  me  these  are  the  only  three  things  you  really  need  to  
remember  long  term  in  order  to  remain  a  challenge  to  a  woman,  to  a  girl,  to  your  
girlfriend,  to  your  wife,  to  you  harem  of  women  if  you're  a  Mormon,  to  your  eight  
wives,  whatever  the  fuck  it  is.    A,  stands  for  attention,  I  stands  for  indifference,  
and  M  stands  for  mission.    OK?    Attention,  indifference,  mission.      

We  are  obviously  go  a  little  bit  deeper  into  that,  eventually.    I'm  just  curious,  does  
everyone  understand?    By  the  way,  I  don't  just  want  to  talk,  if  you  guys  could  also  
give  me  feed  back,  verbally  of  some  sort,  that  would  be  cool,  but,  does  everyone  
understand  why  being  a  challenge  and  being  challenging  to  your  woman  is  so  
powerful  and  so  attractive?      

Because  they  have  to  work  for  it.    Yeah.    OK.    That's  one  of  the  major  reasons.    
One  of  the  things  I  do  a  lot  when  I'm  giving  workshops  and  stuff,  I'll  ask  this  
question  is,  I'll  pose  it  to  you  right  now,  but  basically  if  I  were  to  tell  you,  I'm  on  a  
game  show  right  now  let's  say,  and  I  have  curtain  here  and  there  is  a  girl  behind  it,  
and  I  have  a  curtain  here  and  there's  a  girl  behind  it,  maybe.    OK?        

I  can't  tell  you  how  good  or  how  bad  this  girl  is  over  here,  but  I  can  tell  you  you  
can  have  her  right  now  for  the  next  twelve  months  of  your  life,  you  can  just  take  
her.    Over  here,  there's  another  girl  behind  curtain  B,  and  I  also  can't  tell  you  how  
good  she  is,  but  I  will  tell  you  that  you  will  have  to  work  for  her  a  little  bit,  there's  
a  couple  of  tests  you  have  to  past,  once  you  get  her  then  she's  yours  for  twelve  
months.    Which  one  you  would  you  take?  

You'd  go  with  B,  right.    OK.    For  a  girl  she  would  answer  B  also  but  about  10  times  
stronger.  Women  will  always  choose  the  guy  they  have  to  work  for.    If  we  work  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
for  something  we  value  more,  our  beliefs  align  with  our  actions  and  everything.    
It's  really  common.    

But  why?    Number  one,  when  a  guys  is  a  challenge,  women  will  equally  assign  
that  guy  a  certain  status  level;  does  everyone  understand  that  woman  are  
attracted  to  men  who  are  of  higher  status  then  they  are?    OK,  that  does  mean  
cars,  clothes  and  money,  shit  like  that.    Basically  that's  sub  communicated.        

That's  a  man  who  is  grounded  in  his  reality  who  is  a  strong  friend,  a  guy  who  is  
been  by  her  to,  who  could  look  her  in  the  eyes  when  he's  talking  to  her  and  when  
he's  fucking  the  shit  out  of  her.    You’re  getting  a  sense.    OK?    A  guy  who  has  
strong  sub-­‐communications;  women  are  attracted  to  men  with  higher  status.    
When  she  meets  a  guy  who  is  a  challenge,  she  goes,  "oh  shit,  one  of  those  hi  
status  mother  fuckers."  

"it's  one  of  the  guys  I  sleep  with,  not  one  of  the  guys  I’m  friends  with.    OK?    That's  
number  one.    Number  two  in  your  challenge,  you  are  the  opposite  of  most  of  the  
guys  that  she  that  she  meets.    Most  of  the  dude's  that  she  meets,  she  obviously,  
they're  pretty  eager  to  get  her  phone  number,  to  get  a  date  with  her,  to  see  her  
again,  they're  eager,  they're  more  desperate,  they're  more  needy.    She  meets  a  
guy  who  is  challenging  her,  what  is  he  not  doing?    He's  not  being  needy,  he's  not  
being  desperate,  he's  not  so  eager.      

He  flips  the  switch.    She  comes  towards  him  and  now  she's  kind  of  working  for  
him.    She's  trying  to,  more  eager  to  get  him.    Deep  down  what  that  says  is  he's  not  
trying  to  get  her  so  quickly,  it  say's  he  has  options.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
 It  say's  he  has  options,  because  other  girls  like  him.    If  you're  talking  to  a  girl  and  
you're  not  all  like,  you're  not  all  like,  "I  need  you,  I  need  you,  I  want  you,  come  
over  here  would  be  good.  Give  me  attention."    And  you're  just  kind  of  leaned  back  
and  you're  not  like  you  need  it?    It  says  you  have  options.    It  says  you  have  girls  
everywhere.    It  says,  you  know  what  I  mean?      

That  right  there  is  incredibly  powerful.    People  don't  think  about  being  a  
challenge,  it's  more  than  just  she  is  working  for  something.    On  a  deeper  level,  
think  about  what  it  ways  about  you  as  well.    That's  number  two,  and  the  last  one  
before  we  get  to  attention  ...  Has  anyone  read  the  book  Psycho-­‐Cybernetics?  You  
read  it?    One  person?    It's  one  of  my  favorite  books  of  all  time.    If  you  guys  haven't  
read  that  shit,  I  would  definitely  like  give  that  a  read.      

It's  called  Psycho-­‐Cybernetics  by  a  plastic  surgeon  from  1955  name  Maxwell  
Malts.    He  was  this  dude,  he  was  a  plastic  surgeon  and  he  would  make  people  
pretty,  them  thinking  that,  "Oh  I  become  pretty,  I'm  going  to  be  more  confident  
and  have  a  better  personality  now."    

 He'd  cut  their  face  up,  make  them  pretty,  they'd  go  into  the  world  and  their  
personality  still  sucked.    He  was  like,  "what  the  fuck,  why  is  this  happening?"    He  
kind  of  went  deeper,  and  he  went  into  the  subconscious  and  the  mind,  and  it's  an  
amazing  book.    It's  really  the  best  book  on  personal  development  that  I've  ever  
read.  

One  of  the  things  he  talks  about  in  there,  is  that  our  subconscious  brain,  our  
entire  subconscious  system,  is  what  he  call's  a  servo  mechanism.    Anyone  know  
what  that  is?    A  servo  mechanism?    Anyone  heard  that  term  before?    It's  a  weird  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
term.    Basically,  if  you  think  about  a  missile,  if  someone  shoots  a  missile  from  one  
coast  and  it's  going  to  the  other,  something  like  that,  that  missile  has  a  servo  
mechanism  attached  to  it.      

What  that  means  is  it  knows  exactly  where  it  wants  to  go.    It  has  a  target  and  a  
goal  in  mind,  and  it's  going  to  stay  on  course  towards  that  goal.    If  it  goes  off  
course,  it  will  get  some  negative  feedback,  it  will  realize  it's  off  course  and  it  will  
go  back  on  course.      

Basically  what  he  discovered  is  that  our  subconscious  system  is  a  servo  
mechanism.    We  need  a  target  always.    All  of  us  need  targets.    We  need  some  
goal  or  something  to  be  working  towards.    Obviously  there  is  greater  reasons  then  
just  being  a  challenge,  I'm  going  to  wrap  this  around  in  a  second.    Basically  the  
point  is,  he  realized  that  all  of  us  in  order  to  be  happy  to  be  fulfilled  to  be  
successful,  we  need  a  target  that  we're  aiming  for.    

We  need  something  in  our  lives  that  we  value  that  we're  working  towards,  or  that  
we're  working  for.    When  you  are  a  challenge  to  a  girl,  this  is  like  sweet  fucked  up  
shit,  but  when  you  are  a  challenge  to  a  girl  and  she's  starting  to  work  for  you,  
what  is  that  you're  giving  her.    Think  about  that,  you're  giving  her  a  target,  right,  
you're  giving  her  something  to  work  for.    

If  she's  going  through  life  and  she  really  doesn't  like  her  job  and  her  friends  are  
OK  but  they  complain  a  lot  and  they  watch  bad  TV  or  something  like  that,  then  all  
of  a  sudden  she  meets  this  awesome  dude  that  she  has  to  work  for  and  think  
about,  and  how  can  I  get  him.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
You  give  her  a  target  to  work  for  just  by  being  a  challenge  which  is  actually  kind  of  
a  fulfilling  thing.    On  like  a  cool  comic  level,  that  shit  also  works  too.    Being  a  
challenge,  totally  bad  ass,  do  it.    Let's  talk  about  this  AIM  thing.  Alright,  A-­‐I-­‐M.    
AOL  instant  messenger  ...  Attention,  OK,  that  was  the  first  one,  attention.      

What  most  people  don't  realize.    Some  of  you  may  realize  this  right  now,  some  of  
you  may  not,  you  will  after  this  talk.    Is  that  your  attention  is  one  of    your  most  
powerful  assets.    Not  just  women  but  in  life.    Your  attention.    Where  your  
attention  is  at  any  moment,  that's  one  of  the  most  powerful  things  that  you  have.    
Say  when  a  girl  is  talking  to  and  you  are  interested  for  a  second  and  you  guys  are  
having  a  really  good  moment  or  a  really  good  conversation.      

All  of  a  sudden,  in  that  moment,  the  really  good  conversation,  she's  got  your  
attention.  Right.    Everyone  agree  with  that  thus  far?    Having  a  good  conversation,  
my  attentions  here.    At  some  point  of  that  conversation  I  just  cut  it  off,  and  I  turn  
away  and  I  divert  my  attention  somewhere  else,  she  feels  it,  like  something  is  
missing,  like  something,  just  that  spirit,  it's  just  like  something  valuable  was  just  
taken  away  from  her.    That  attention  has  a  lot  of  value  to  her  ...      

When  she  does  not  get  your  attention  right  away,  this  is  talking  about  when  you  
first  meet  her,  first  5  minutes,  10  minutes,  first  night,  whatever  it  is,  when  she  
doesn't  get  all  of  your  attention,  your  eye  contact,  your  body  language,  when  she  
doesn't  get  all  of  that,  when  she  has  to  work  for  it,  that  to  me  is  probably  the  
greatest  way  that  you  can  convey  that  you  are  a  challenge.      

Some  of  the  examples  here  so  this  actually  makes  sense,  let's  say  I  meet  a  girl,  I'm  
out,  I  met  at  a  dinner  party  or  something  like  that,  introduced  through  a  friend.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
She's  like  a  really  hot  girl,  and  let's  say  most  guys  just  really  want  to  fuck  her  and  
are  really  into  her.    Most  guys  when  they  meet  that  girl,  they're  going  to  be,  
they're  going  to  start  trying.      

Boom,  what's  you're  name  that's  awesome,  what  do  you  to,  awesome.    That's  an  
awesome  job,  I  love  your  dress,  you  have  great  fashion  sense,  you  must  eat  a  lot  
of  green  vegetables,  you're  a  great  human  being.    They're  really  into  it.  

They  give  a  lot  of  attention  to  her  right  away.    What  is  that  say  to  her.  She  got  it  
right?    Boom,  validated,  I  don't  need  it  anymore.    It  also  says  that  this  is  a  guy  who  
isn't  use  to  being  around  girls  of  my  level.    OK?    I  don't  like  to  do  the  whole  
numbers  thing,  the  one  through  ten,  but  it's  kind  of  misogynistic,  not  that  that's  a  
bad  thing  but  basically  if  a  guy  meets  a  10,  and  he's  like  amazed  by  her  and  he's  
giving  her  all  the  attention  just  like  that,  he's  basically  telling  her,  "yeah,  you  
usually  sleep  with  5's."      

Basically  what  he's  saying.    What  has  she  done  to  really  earn  his  attention  and  his  
interest  so  quickly,  OK.    He's  really  a  hi  value  dude  who  really  values  his  time,  his  
attention,  his  thoughts,  everything,  if  he  really  values  himself  that  highly,  why  is  
he  giving  himself  so  easily  to  a  girl  that  he  just  met?    Who  literally  has  done  
nothing  but  look  really  pretty  in  the  first  5  minutes  that  he  met  her.    OK?    She's  
not  giving  him  all  her  attention  because  she's  a  normal  human  being.  

She's  like,  "Well  yeah,  I  just  met  him  and  he's  cool,  but  I  don't  know  X,  Y,  and  Z  
about  him."    When  you  are  talking  to  a  girl,  and  she's  really  happy  when  you  first  
meet  her,  you  can  start  off  I  guess  faking  it,  like  being  like  you're  not  that  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
interested,  making  her  work  for  it  a  little  bit.    As  your  internal  programming  really  
becomes  right,  you're;  when  I  meet  a  hot  girl  now,  I'm  not  like,  "oh  my  god."      

It's  almost  the  other  way,  it's  literally  become  the  other  way  around.    It's  not  
anything  manipulative,  it's  not  anything  I'm  doing  on  purpose  but  it's  like  I  have,  
you  know  we're  going  to  get  to  the  M  part  in  a  second,  but  my  mission  is  just  so  
important  that  this  is  just  not  valuable  enough  to  me  yet.    OK?    Does  that  make  
sense  to  everybody,  who  we're  talking  about  here?    Can  I  get  some  confirmation?      

OK,  cool  ...  What's  really  cool  about  this  also,  is  that  when  she  has  to  work  for  
your  attention,  not  only  does  she  begin  to  value  that  attention  higher  and  higher,  
but  now  every  time  that  she  actually  does  earn  some  of  your  attention,  it's  almost  
like  a  quick  shot  of  validation,  like  a  quick  shot  of  dopamine  almost  literally  to  the  
brain.      

This  is  the  good  kind  of  addiction  when  you  guys  become  really  tight  with  
someone.    She  has  to  work  for  it,  she  has  to  work  for  it,  she's  not  getting  it,  she  
works  for  it  a  little  more,  she  get's  a  shot  of  it;  she's  like,  "oh,  shit  that  was  
awesome,  that  was  great,  I  want  more."    They  get  a  little  taste  of  it  right?  

Good  emotions,  good  validation  is  like  the  most  addictive  chemical  in  the  world,  
and  she  gets  a  little  taste  of  it  and  then  you  take  it  away?    She  works  for  it,  she  
earns  a  little  bit  more,  and  then  you  give  her  a  little  bit  more  attention  or  a  little  
bit  more  validation  and  it's  like,  boom,  another  shot  of  Dopamine.    That's  how  
you,  I  say  in  my  books,  but  that's  how  you  become  the  source  of  her  good  
emotions.    OK?      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
Does  that  make  sense  to  everybody  here?    It's  a  really  really  powerful  concept.    
But  when  she  has  to  work  for  your  attention,  when  she  does  get  it,  it  becomes  
more  and  more  valuable  every  time.    The  more  she  has  to  work  for  it,  the  more  
valuable  and  the  more  powerful  the  emotion  that  she  feels  when  you  do  giver  her  
that  attention.      

One  last  example  before  we  get  to  indifference  here  is,  in  terms  of  her  earning  
your  attention,  my  favorite  movie  character,  I  think  everyone  by  the  way  should  
have  a  model  from  a  movie,  or  something  like  that,  or  some  role  model  that  
they're  like,  "  that  dude  is  bad  ass,  I  want  some  of  that  shit  in  me."    I  think  
everyone  should  have  one,  and  if  you  don't  definitely  get  one,  you  at  home  to.      

My  guy  is  Tony  Stark.    Tony  Stark  Iron  man,  I'm  just  like,  "that  mother  fucker,"  it's  
just  like,  I'll  just  hands  and  knees,  it's  just  like,  "you're  a  bad  ass  dude."    One  of  my  
favorite  examples  is,  if  Tony  Stark  is  in  a  relationship,  and  he's  working  on  
something  in  a  lab,  he's  in  his  cave,  and  he's  building  some  crazy  awesome  shit,  
and  he's  really  into  it  and  he's  passionate  about,  and  he's  almost  there,  and  he's  
just  killing  it,  and  then  his  girlfriend  comes  down  stairs  and  she's  like,  "hey,  
dinner's  ready."    What  do  you  think  Tony  Stark  is  going  to  do  in  that  scenario.    Is  
he  going  to,  "oh,  OK  great.    Boom."    Is  that  happening?    What's  he  going  to  do?    
Someone,  anyone  want  to  say?  

He's  not  going  to  stop,  right?    How  does  that  relate  to  where  his  attention  is  in  
the  moment?  Of  course.    We're  going  to  get  to  that  in  a  second.    Exactly.    Basically  
it's,  he's  not  purposely,  "oh  I'm  going  to  keep  attention  and  validation  away  from  
her  to  fuck  with  her  and  make  her  lower  here  self  esteem."    It's  none  of  that.    It's  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
like,  "No  dude,  I'm  fucking  into  this,  I  fucking  love  this  shit,  and  I  understand  
dinner  is  ready,  but  this  is  more  important  right  now."  

It's  real.    My  attention  is  here  right  now.    She  comes  down  and  she's  got  a  plate  of  
like  chicken  and  broccoli  or  something  like  that  and  she's  like,  "ugh,  OK."    She'll  
bring  it  back  but  it's  like  she  won't  get  mad,  she  goes  "this  is  a  man  on  a  mission,  I  
respect  that,  and  as  long  as  he  comes  and  fucks  the  shit  out  of  me  later  tonight,  
I'm  cool.    I  get  it."    Do  you  know  what  I  mean?    "I  get  it."      

Of  course,  lastly  that  he's  being  a  challenge.    He's  not  just,  "yes  sir,  yes  ma'am."    
It's  like,  "no  I'm  working  on  this."    We're  going  to  learn  about  how  to  say  no  in  a  
second.    That  to  me  is  really  fucking  important,  the  whole  attention  thing.    Before  
we  get  to  indifference,  anyone  have  any  questions  about  what  we've  just  talked  
about?    We're  all  good.  

OK.    One  of  the  worst  mistakes  you  guys  in  terms  of  like  approaching  if  you're  at  
like  at  a  bar  or  restaurant  or  something  like  that,  everyone  know  what  the  Bee  
Line  approach  is?  

The  Bee  Line  approach  where  ...  Hi.    OK  this  is  scary.    I'm  scared  right  now,  I'm  not  
lying.    Don't  do  that,  OK.    A  lot  of  times  with  the  approach.    Does  everyone  
understand  why  I  say  don't  do  that?  Does  she  already  have  your  attention  before  
you  even  open  your  fucking  mouth?  This  is  it,  right,  the  game's  already  over,  OK?  
Don't  do  that.      

A  lot  of  times  what  I'll  do,  my  favorite  approaches  in  bars  is,  say  she's  ordering  a  
drink.    Right  here.    So  you're  ordering  right  here,  is  that  I'll  slide  up  next  to  her,  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
and  I  don't  turn  I  don't  give  her  all  this  attention.    She  hasn't  earned  it  yet,  she's  
not  like  got  it  or  anything.      

SO  I'm  here,  I'm  ordering  a  drink,  and  my  shoulders  are  here,  my  waist  is  here,  my  
head  is  here.    She's  there.    A  lot  of  times  the  girls  will  notice,  and  you  can  tell  me  if  
I'm  correct,  I  assume  I  am,  but  if  you're  at  a  bar  ordering  a  drink,  and  a  guy  comes  
up  next  to  you,  do  you  expect  him  to  probably  try  and  say  something  to  you?    
You've  been  programmed,  "I  know  this  dude's  probably  trying  to  spit  something  
at  me  right?"  

Alex:    Close.  

Jason:    you're  here,  and  he  could  have  gone  here  instead?  

Alex:      Right.  

Jason:  Right  OK.    If  I  come  up  here,  and  I'm  next  to  her  and  I'm  ordering  a  drink,  
and  I  don't  look  at  here  for  20  seconds,  in  her  mind  do  you  know  what  she's  
thinking?    Did  he  not  come  to  approach,  what's  going  on?  Just  like  that  because  I  
didn't  give  her  my  attention  yet.    It's  really  simple.    I'll  be  here  20  seconds.    I'll  turn  
over.    My  favorite  line  in  this  situation,  which  is  always  is,  "hi."    And  she'll  be  like  
"hi."  

Alex:    Hi.  

Jason:    And  I'll  be  like,  "so,  what  kind  of  drink  do  you  want  to  buy  me."  

Alex:      (laughter)    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
Jason:    And  then  she'll  do  that  (laughter).    That  will  usually  happen,  and  half  the  
time  she'll  go,  "is  that  you're  pick  up  line."    And  I'll  say,  "yes,  and  I'll  take  a  shot  of  
Patron  please  thank  you."    Attention  away.    Just  like  that.    Most  guys  in  that  
situation,  they  will  drop  the  line  and  then,  here's  the  worst  thing  you  do,  they  
wait  for  a  reaction,  and  they'll  say,  "and  a  shot  of  Patron  please."    

Yes.    Is  she  going  to  say?    How  would  Tony  Stark  say  it,  it's  really  simple,  how  
would  he  say  it,  "and  a  shot  of  Patron  please  thanks."    And  it  just  assumes  it's  like  
done,  I've  never  had  a  girl  not  by  me  a  drink,  like  it  always  happens.      

It's  simply  because,  I'm  not  there  waiting  for  a  reaction,  I  don't  need  her  
attention,  I  don't  need  her  confirmation  that  she's  going  to  actually  do  it,  I'm  just  
being  fun  and  playful  and  kind  of  challenging.    I'm  just  like,  "Patron,  thanks."    
"Lime,  by  the  way.”  

"Thanks,  have  a  good  night."  No,  I'm  just  kidding.    It's  a  game  right  it's  a  game.    A  
big  mistake  especially  when  I  use  to  take  guys  out  is  that  they  would  get  into  a  
good  conversation  and  there  would  be  a  little  bit  of  banter  like  we  just  had  here,  
but  then  they  would  just  give  it  all  up  after  60  seconds.    She  would  still  be;  like  
you'd  still  be  here,  and  they'd  be  like  waiting,  they'd  still  be  kind  of  talking.      

Understand,  if  she  gives  you  a  little  bit,  doesn't  mean  you  give  her  the  whole  
fucking  kitchen.    Just  because  she  gave  you  a  snack,  give  her  a  little  snack  too,  and  
close  the  pantry  door.    Close  it  up  again,  close  that  shit  up.      

Then  make  here  earn  a  little  bit  more,  and  then  you  give  her,  does  that  make  
sense  to  everybody  here.    Can  everyone  see  how  this  might  apply  to  not  just  at  a  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
bar,  but  at  a  restaurant  or  an  a  date,  or  anything  like  that?    Can  everyone  make  
that  connection?  ...  Yes?    Cool?    Thank  you  very  much.  

Cool  cool.  We  have  attention,  and  now  we're  on  to  indifference.    Indifference  it  
can  manifest  itself  a  lot  of  different  ways.    To  me  if  I  had  to  define  it,  it  would  
simply  be  an  absence  of  need.    Actually  came  with  that  one  laying  in  bed  last  
night,  about  one  in  the  morning,  seriously.    I  was  stuck  at  home  with  the  family  
for  a  couple  of  days,  so  I  was  so  excited  to  leave  the  next  morning  so  I  couldn't  
sleep.    That  one  just  kind  of  popped  up.      

To  me  indifference  is  absence  of  need.    You  don't  need  anything  from  the  other  
person,  and  that  means  you  don't  need  attention  from  them,  you  don't  need  
approval  from  them,  you  don't  need  validation  from  them,  you  don't  need  
anything;  you  are  full  on  your  own;  you're  cup  is  full  on  it's  own,  does  that  make  
sense  to  everybody?      

Because  when  you  are  full  on  your  own,  and  you're  complete  on  your  own,  you're  
not  going  to  be  affected  by  things  externally  outside  of  you.    That's  going  to  
naturally  feed  your  indifference  anyways.      

What  were  the  two  main  points  I  wanted  to  talk  about  with  indifference?    In  a  
relationship,  or  even  when  you're  just  kind  of  having  sex  with  somebody  for  a  
while,  there  will  be  times  when  the  girl  will  freak  out.    Girls  just  do  it.    Part  of  their  
emotional  circuitry.      

Let's  see,  you  didn't  even  talk  to  her  and  she's  already  freaking  out,  just  kidding.    
But  they  at  points,  you  know,  small  things,  they  blow  out  of  proportion  and  their  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
emotions  get  wild  and  one  thing  builds  on  another,  and  it  lasts  five  or  ten  minutes  
but  it  just  happens.      

Sometimes  girls  just  freak  out  about  shit.    And  as  a  dude,  you're  like  "really.  
What?    Who  fucking  cares  about  that  or  this."    Now  the  big  mistake  that  a  lot  of  
guys  make  who  don't  have  indifference,  who  don't  understand  this  who  are  too  
reactive  to  things  going  on  around  them.    Literally,  it's  like  they  have  buttons  on  
their  body  that  girls  can  just  push,  and  a  girl  knows  she's  going  to  get  a  certain  
reaction  out  of  that  guy.  

You  don't  want  that.    When  you're  indifferent,  there  are  no  buttons.    It's  like  
steel.    It's  unaffected  by  the  environment.    When  a  girl  is  freaking  out  about  
something;  when  you're,  say  you've  been  dating  a  girl  for  six  months  and  you  guys  
are  going  to  a  dinner  party  to  some  friends  house  and  you're  twenty  minutes  late,  
and  you're  driving  the  car,  and  she's  there  and  she's  talking  about,  "oh  my  god,  
they're  going  to  be  so  made  at  us  for  being  late."    

And  she's  flipping  out  and  everything.    The  worst  thing  that  you  can  do  is  be  
affected  by  her  emotional  storm.    Anyone  know  David  Data?    The  book  it's  called  
the  way  of  the  superior  man?    It's  one  of  the  best  books  I've  ever  read.    But  one  of  
the  things  he  talks  about  in  their  is  that  woman  want  a  rock  when  they  are  going  
through  some  type  of  emotional  storm.  They  want  a  rock  that  they  can  lean  
against  when  they  are  kind  of  freaking  out  who  will  not  be  affected  by  their  
emotional  storm.      

It's  almost  like  there's  this  rock,  and  he's  going  crazy  for  a  second  and  he's  strong  
right  there.    Until;  because  he  is  that  calming  effect  and  he's  not  effected  by  her  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
emotions  and  he's  not  freaking  out  either,  and  he's  just  calm  and  he's  indifferent,  
it  allows  her  to  calm  down  too.      

It's  one  reason  why  indifference  is  so  important  in  a  relationship.    If  a  girls  dating  
a  guy  for  six  months,  and  she  freaks  out  about  something,  and  it  effects  him  and  
he  freaks  out  and  all  the  emotions  are  bad  for  the  next  three  days.      

She's  not  going  to  want  to  stay  with  that  guy  for  very  long.    Things  just  they'll  
negatively  kind  of  downfall  and  that  will  be  it.    But  when  there's  a  guy  who  is  
indifferent,  and  is  just  a  rock  when  she'  freaking  out,  it  won't  happen  that  often,  
but  when  it  does,  she  can  feel  that  indifference,  she  can  feel  that  calming  
presence,  that  calming  masculine  presence.    Everything's  good.      

That's  built  on  being  indifference.    Being  able  to  cultivate  your  own  personal  
indifference.    When  you  first  meet  a  girl,  first  couple  of  dates  or  whatever,  when  
you  have  indifference  it  means  you're  not  easily  impressed.    It  is  more  of  
challenge  to  get  emotion  out  of  you  then  it  is  for  others.  

When  there's  something  she  can  do  to  other  guys  and  get  a  rise  out  of  them,  but  
she  can't  get  it  from  you,  how  much  of  a  challenge  do  you  just  become  in  her  
eyes.    When  there's  something  that  she's  done  with  a  hundred  guys  in  the  past,  
maybe  fifty  guys  in  the  past,  she's  just  a  huge  whore,  maybe  a  thousand  guys  in  
the  past.  

I'm  not  judging,  it's  all  good,  but  if  she's  done  something  to  guys  in  the  past  where  
she  knows  that  she  can  get  a  rise  out  of  them,  and  she  knows;  she  goes  out  with  a  
guy  on  a  first  date  or  with  a  group  of  friends  and  their  kind  of  interested,  and  she  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
knows  that  if  she  goes  and  talks  to  some  other  dude,  that  she  knows  this  guy's  
going  to  freak  out  or  pull  some  shit.    

If  that's  a  pattern  that  she's  learned,  and  she  goes  out  with  you  and  she  does  that  
and  it  doesn't  even  affect  you  at  all,  what  does  that  say  to  her  about  you?    How  
much  of  a  challenge  did  you  just  become.    The  last  fifty  guys  have  all  freaked  out,  
this  one  she  can't  even  get  an  emotional  reaction  out  of,  how  much  of  a  challenge  
did  you  just  become,  and  what  was  that  based  on?    It  was  based  on  your  
indifference.    Does  that  make  sense  to  everybody?  

Everyone  cool  with  that?    You  all  good?    All  right,  I  feel  good  too.    A  couple  of  
examples  here  before  we  get  to  the  mission.    The  mission  is  really  important.    It  
makes  me  feel  like  Tony  Stark.    About  two  months  ago  I  actually,  I'll  just  tell  you  
guys,  I  started  dating  this  girl  that  I  met  in  Vegas.    She's  actually  from  California,  
she's  a  little  bit  older  than  me,  but  like  for  the  last  three  years  before  that  I  was  
just  fucking  everything,  it  was  just  ridiculous.      

I  really  was  just  a  huge  man  whore.    About  three  years  before  that,  there  were  no  
relationships,  there  was  nothing,  nothing  serious  at  all.    It  was  just  purely  physical  
relationships,  and  stuff  like  that.    But  I  met  this  girl  in  Vegas,  she's  fucking  
awesome,  she's  one  of  the  coolest  chicks  I've  met  probably  in  my  life,  and  we  
started  seeing  each  other  on  a  more  regular  basis,  probably  three  or  four  days  a  
week  for  the  last  couple  of  months  now.      

She's  one  of  these  girls  though  like  in  Southern  Cali,  she  lives  in  Orange  County,  
where  every  singe  promoter  in  L.A.  knows  her.    Every  single  promoter  in  Vegas  
knows  her.    They  have  her  on  speed  dial.    They  text  her  every  day,  "are  you  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
coming,  we  love  you  here."  Literally  every  club  in  the  Southwest  United  States  
knows  her  and  is  trying  to  get  her  to  come  to  their  club  just  because  she  is  
awesome  and  really  hot.    Not  only  that,  but  like  the  Dj's  know  her.      

We  go  to  these  pool  parties  in  Vegas,  and  it's  Afro  Jack  playing  and  he  stops  the  
show  to  go  talk  to  her,  because  he  knows  her.    She  is  just  one  of  those  girls.    There  
are  a  lot  of  situations  that  can  happen  where  if  a  normal  guy  was  seeing  this  girl,  
and  they  walk  into  a  Vegas  pool  party  and  the  DJ  where  they're  is  3,000  people  
watching  him;  he  stops  the  show  to  talk  to  her.      

How  would  most  guys  feel  in  that  situation?      A  little  jealous,  a  little  envious,  a  
little  scared,  right,  there's  some  status  things  going  on,  there  is  a  lot  going  on.    In  
those  situations  do  you  know  how  I  feel?  

Cool.    Awesome.    Fuck  it.    He  probably  knows  more  hot  girls  he  can  introduce  me  
to  I  guess,  cool.    That  indifference  is  powerful.    Every  other  guy  that  she's  been  
with  in  the  past  who  probably  saw  that,  do  you  know  what  they  probably  did,  
they  probably  freaked  the  fuck  out.    She's  actually  mentioned  to  me  a  couple  of  
times  when  she's  seeing  guys  in  passing,  it  just  couldn't  work  because  they  just  
freaked  the  fuck  out.    Because  every  guy  knew  her,  every  guy  was  trying  to  find  to  
fuck  her,  all  these  famous  people  knew  her,  all  that  type  of  shit,  and  I'm  just  there  
and  I'm  like,  "cool"  and  I  go  talk  to  him.      

Boom,  "you  go  talk  to  him,  I'm  going  to  talk  to  these  girls."    Literally  she's  talking  
to  this  guy,  and  she's  got  one  eye  here,  and  one  eye  looking  at  me  because  I'm  
talking  to  other  girls.    I'm  not  like  hitting  on  them,  but  we're  just  all  having  a  good  
time  because  I'm  indifferent  right,  I  have  total  abundance.    Total  abundance.    I  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
trust  her,  she  trusts  me.    It's  all  good.    She's  literally  verbalized  to  me  a  couple  of  
times  already  the  fact  that  I'm  so  nonchalant  about  it  and  so  cool  about  
everything.  

Jason:    Just  makes  her  want  me  more  and  more.    OK.    Every  guy  in  that  situation  
freaks  out,  gets  envious,  gets  reactive,  whatever,  cool.    Awesome.    Just  cool.    
That's  one  example,  you  miss  a  situation  like  that  with  a  girlfriend  or  something  
like  that,  don't  freak  out;  maintain  indifference,  maintain  abundance.    And  if  you  
have  to  go  talk  to  other  girls  because  that  will  make  her  jealous.    One  other  thing  
that  I  do,  actually  I  had  this  pointed  out  to  me  by  a  friend,  me  and  Christian  both  
know,  it's  kind  of  an  indifferent  thing  but  it's  kind  of  conversational  Judo.      

Share  with  you  guys  I  figure.    Basically  our  friend  David  who  we  both  know  
pointed  this  out  to  me  a  week  ago.    Mr.  S.    He  was  like,  do  you  know,  every  time  
you  are  trying  to  talk  to  someone  and  they  start  talking  about  something  you  
don't  want,  and  you  stare  at  them,  just  waiting  for  them  to  finish,  and  when  
they're  done  you  go,  "awesome,'  and  then  you  go,  "so  anyways."      

And  I  just  start  talking  about  whatever  I  want  to  talk  about.    The  point  is,  I  didn't  
realize  I  did  this,  but  the  key  that  that  works,  the  reason  it  works,  and  you  guys  
might  notice,  if  you've  ever  talked  to  anyone  who  is  trying  to  prove  a  point  or  
anyone  is  suppose  to  be  a  guru  or  anything.  

Let's  say  you  meet  a  big  famous  dating  guru  or  something  like  that.  And  he's  
talking  to  you,  you  ask  him  a  question  and  he's  like  talking  to  you,  and  if  you  just  
stare  at  him  like  this.    And  you're  giving  him  no  conformation,  no  validation,  no  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
reaction,  you're  totally  indifferent,  you're  just  like,  he's  just  going  to  keep  going,  
he'll  talk  for  20  minutes.      

This  is  a  guy  who  usually  is  use  to  people  trying  to  prove  himself  to  him  and  he  
just  will  go  off  on  a  huge  tangent  trying  to  get  some  time  of  positive  
reinforcement  back  from  you  because  you,  that's  how  powerful,  indifferent,  I'm  
just  boom.    It  can  kind  of  be  mean  to  people,  like  it's  kind  of  mind  fucking  a  little  
bit  but  if  you  are  ever  in  a  conversation  and  someone  tries  to  change  to  
something  you  don't  want,  just,  "awesome."    Boom.    Your  off.    OK?  

Indifference.    Everyone  kind  of  get  it?    Everyone  kind  of  get  that  care  free,  
nonchalance,  you  carry  yourself  with  total  abundance,  not  reactive,  the  rock  in  
the  storm?    We  good?    Bad  ass.    So.    A-­‐I-­‐M.    The  mission.      

The  last  component  to  being  a  forever  challenge,  to  being  a  genuine  challenge.    It  
is  hardwired  in  her  DNA  that  a,  say,  real  man  here,  I  don't  know  how  to  define  
that,  a  real  man,  and  Alpha  may,  whatever  you  want  to  say,  it  is  hardwired  in  her  
DNA  that  a  real  man  puts  his  mission,  his  current  life  purpose,  whatever  it  is  at  
that  moment,  ahead  of  her.    ...  Forget  what  modern  family,  whatever  TV  show  
people  watch  nowadays,  taught  you,  OK.      

It  is  hardwired  in  her  DNA  that  a  real  man  puts  his  mission,  or  his  current  life  
purpose,  whatever  it  is  at  that  moment,  ahead  of  her.    Number  one,  mission,  
number  two,  her.    Does  that  make  sense  to  everybody?    Does  that  go  against  
what  most  of  culture  and  society  would  tell  you,  would  feed  you,  what  you've  
been  taught  up  to  this  point  for  the  most  part,  yeah.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
It's  important  you  mentioned  that.    It's  hardwired  in  her  DNA  that  a  real  man  puts  
his  mission  and  her  current  life  purpose  or  whatever  it  is  ahead  of  her.      This  is  the  
ultimate  challenge  that  she  always  wants  to  fight  for,  but  never  wants  to  win.    She  
always  wants  to  fight  to  be  number  one,  but  she  never  actually  wants  to  win.    
That  is  how  you  maintain  being  a  challenge  for  the  rest  of  your  life.    

That's  how  you  want  to  think  about  it.    To  me  it's  like,  "cool,  I'm  on  my  mission.  
That's  more  important  to  me."    However  you  want  to  think  about  it.    This  is  the  
ultimate  challenge,  that  she  will  always  want  to  fight  for  but  she  never  actually  
wants  to  win.    Even  if  she  tells  you,  you  should  put  me  first.    You  are  always  about  
this,  I  don't  get  the  attention,  whatever  it  is.    She  says  like,  "this  other  couple,  he  
always  taking  her  out  and  buying  her  flowers."  She'll  always  tell  you  she  wants  to  
be  number  one,  she  never  actually  wants  to  be.  

If  this  does  not  exist  in  your  relationship,  there  will  be  no  sexual  polarity  between  
you  guys,  OK?    If  she  becomes  number  one,  and  your  mission  becomes  number  
two,  there  will  be  an  obvious  and  indefinite  lack  of  sexual  polarity  in  the  
relationship  which  translates  to,  you  guys  won't  fuck  each  other  ever.    And  when  
you  do,  it's  like  gross,  star  fish  sex  that  no  one  ever  wants  to  have.    The  reason  
why  the  divorce  rate  is  54%  in  America  now  everyone  is  getting  divorced,  married  
couples  don't  have  sex.      

Me  personally  I've  had  an  inordinate  amount  of  women  tell  me  they  were  single  
at  night,  and  tell  me  they  were  in  a  relationship  in  the  morning,  OK,  shit  like  that.    
It  is  because  there  is  a  very  obvious  lack  of  sexual  polarity  in  the  relationship,  and  
it  is  because  the  guy  is  always  trying  to  put  the  girl  first  instead  of  the  mission.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
He's  doing  it  because  she's  telling  him,  "I  want  to  be  first."    He  does  it,  and  then  
she  goes  and  fucks  other  people  who  don't  put  her  first.  

I  see  like  mind  fucking  going  on  right  now.    It's  crazy.    It  seems  crazy  because  
we've  been  conditioned  from  a  very  young  age  that  its  the  other  way  around,  
when  in  reality,  that's  not  how  we're  hardwired.    I  literally,  one  of  my  favorite  
things  to  do  is  that  I  read  biographies,  of  like  bad  asses  in  history,  not  bad  asses  
from  10  years  ago,  but  bad  asses  in  history.    I'm  finishing  this  600  page  epic  on  
Alexander  the  Great  right  now.    He's  bad  ass  dude.      

I'm  just  reading  it,  but  all  these  men  are  going  off  to  war  for  their  country,  and  
he's  conquering  Asia,  like  "I'm  just  going  to  take  over,"  that's  his  mission.    You  
don't  have  to  take  over  the  world  but  that  was  his  mission  at  that  moment.    All  
these  men  from  these  different  Greek  cities,  they're  hiring  all  these  professional  
soldiers  and  stuff.    I'm  just  imagining  each  and  everyone  of  these  soldiers  has  a  
family  at  home.    Each  and  every  one,  he  probably  has  kids  at  home  too.  

If  his  whole  village  is  going  of  to  war,  to  conquer  the  world  and  protect  their  
village  or  whatever  it  is.    That  one  soldier,  call  him  Adam.    Adam  the  soldier  is  
chilling  in  Greece  he  has  to  go  fight  for  his  country,  and  he's  leaving  the  house.    
Everyone's  going;  "I've  got  to  go."    He's  packing  up  his  shit.    The  kids  are  crying,  
the  wife  goes,  "here  take  the  last  bit  of  food."    And  he's  like  getting  ready  to  go.    
She's  like,  "god  I  wish  you  didn't  have  to  go,  I  might  never  see  you  again."      

 Then  that  moment,  he  was  like,  "fuck  this.    Fuck  that  I  don't  want  to  die.  It's  chill,  
let's  go  hang  out."    He  goes,  "fuck  the  war,  I'm  just  going  to  stay  here."    He  puts  
his  bag  down.    "This  shit's  good,  you  got  more?"    He  just  stays  at  home?    In  that  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
moment  she  might  be  exited  right.    "Yes,  he's  going  to  stay  here,  I'm  going  to  get  
to  be  with  him,  this  is  great."    

How  do  you  think  she's  going  to  feel  the  next  morning  when  all  the  other  men  are  
gone  on  their  mission,  and  he's  at  home  next  to  her  in  bed  snoring?    What  a  
fucking  pussy.      Seriously.    She'll  tell  you  she  wants  to  be  number  one,  she  actually  
doesn't.  

When  your  mission  is  number  one,  you're  also  always  willing  to  walk  away.    
You're  always  willing  to  walk  away.    That  doesn't  mean  you're  constantly  
threatening,  like  she  doesn't  you  do  anything  you  want,  like  all  right  I  could  walk  
away  right  now  so  I'm  going  to  walk  away.    No.      

What  I  mean  is  that  you  respect  yourself  so  much  that  if  certain  boundaries  are  
crossed,  OK,  everyone  should  have  specific  boundaries,  that  are  just  like,  not  a  lot  
of  them,  just  a  couple,  these  are  the  unbreakable,  and  if  someone  disrespects  you  
and  crosses  a  certain  boundary  at  a  certain  level,  you  maintain  your  power  to  be  
able  to  walk  away.      

A  lot  of  guys  they  sacrifice  their  boundaries  and  their  values  to  stay  in  a  
relationship,  and  then  they  stop  having  sex  with  the  woman  because  she  can't  
respect  him  anymore  because  he  can't  respect  himself,  and  they  end  up  getting  a  
divorce.    She  meets  one  of  you  in  a  bar  who  asks  her  to  buy  him  a  drink,  and  then  
you  end  up  having  sex  with  her.    But,  when  you're  mission  is  number  one,  that  is  
going  to  feed  into  your  ability  to  always  walk  away.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
If  you  make  your  girlfriend  or  your  wife  or  whatever  it  is  the  center  of  your  
universe,  can  you  walk  away  from  that?    If  that's  the  center  of  your  universe,  how  
can  you  walk  away?    That's  it,  that's  all  you  have.    But  when  your  mission  is  always  
number  one,  you  always  know  it.    At  the  end  of  the  day,  if  this  isn't  what  you  
wanted,  you  can  walk  away,  and  you  have  something  even  greater  that  you  will  
always  be  able  to  come  home  to,  something  internal.    Your  mission.    Whatever  it  
is.    

One  second,  my  mom  just  texted  me  ...  Let's  talk  about  communicating  this,  
communicating  that  your  mission  is  number  one.    Because  you  can't  really  go  to  a  
girl,  even  if  it's  your  girlfriend  after  three  months  and  be  like,  "what's  for  dinner."    
And  she  tells  you.    And  then  you're  like,  "all  right  cool;  you  know  just  to  remind  
you,  you're  always  going  to  be  number  two."  Probably  not  going  to  work,  right?  
"Just  want  to  remind  you,  you'll  always  be  number  two."      

You  actually  probably  could  say  that,  that's  kind  of  funny.    But  one  of  the  best  
ways  that  you  can  communicate  this,  and  kind  of  like  talk  about  it,  especially  
because  something  that  I  at  least  in  the  past  couple  of  years  really  focused  on,  
and  this  was  one  of  my  missions,  was  learning  how  to  fuck  chicks  in  20  minutes.    
That  was  like  my  number.  

I  wanted  to  know  how  to  go  zero  to  a  hundred  in  20  minutes.    One  of  the  things  I  
learned  on  that  mission,  is  that  if  I  could  communicate  this  in  the  right  way,  it  was  
like  instant  boom.    For  whatever  reason,  maybe  because  that  communicates  
masculine  polarity,  maybe  it  communicates  that  we'll  just  have  sex  and  I  won't  
become  attached,  whatever  it  is.    For  a  lot  of  reasons.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
But  the  way  that  I  would  communicate  it,  and  you  guys  feel  free  to  like,  if  you  
ever  want  reinforcement  to  follow  up  on  what  I'm  saying  here  to  find  out  that  it's  
actually  true  and  that  I'm  not  just  spewing  nonsense,  you  can  say  this  to  a  girl  to:  
basically  you  say  something  like;  basically  I  bring  up  relationships  in  the  
conversation  and  we'd  be  talking,  and  like  so,  "what  was  the  best  relationship  
you've  ever  had?"    

And  then  you  know  you  can  share  your  opinions  on  good  and  bad  relationships  
and  what  you  think  makes  a  good  one  or  whatever,  a  lot  of  times  I  would  say  
something  along  the  lines  of  "a  girl  hates  it  when  a  man  makes  her  the  center  of  
his  universe.      

Like  she  fucking  hates  it  when  he  makes  her  the  center.    She  wants  a  man  who  is  
on  a  mission.    She  wants  a  man  who's  on  a  mission  in  motion  on  his  path  who  is  
creating  this  amazing  world  for  himself  and  he  can  bring  her  into  that  already  
amazing  world.    That's  what  she  wants.  

You  hate  it,  like  I  know  you,  you  hate  when  a  guy  makes  you  the  center  of  his  
universe  and  you  become  his  everything  and  he's  constantly  checking  up  on  you,  
he  calls  you  ten  times  a  day.    You  fucking  hate  when  guys  do  that."    Out  of  a  1000  
or  100,000  girls,  whatever  it  is,  "of  course,  yes.    I  hate  that.  That's  the  worst.  I  had  
this  boyfriend  ..."  You  know  every  girl  has  a  story  of  a  boyfriend  who  was  like  that,  
and  she  hated  it.    That  was  one  way  that  I  use  to  communicate  it.      

And  then  after  that  conversation  I  would  start  challenging  her  sexually,  which  is  
basically  how  I  got  the  20  minute  pulse.    One  of  my  favorite  question  was  like,  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
"please,  what  do  you  know,  do  you  even  know  more  than  like  5  sex  positions."    
One  of  the  greatest  questions  you  can  ask  somebody.      

That  was  one.    Then  the  other  one  that  I  want  to  talk  about.    In  more  of  a  
relationship  scenario,  let's  say  you're  back  in  you're  lab,  or  something  that's  really  
important  or  something  you're  really  passionate  about.    It's  11:00  at  night  and  
you're  like  in  beast  mode  like  now  and  you're  just  like  killing  it,  and  she's  in  bed  
like,  "honey,  just  take  a  night  off,  just  come  lay  in  bed  with  me,  just  relax."  

"Let's  just  watch  T.V.  tonight,  OK?"    In  that  moment  you  are  at  a  crossroads.    DO  I  
stay  true  to  my  mission,  or  do  I  go  number  two.    If  you  do  it  once  in  a  while,  that's  
fine,  she  won't  feel  a  difference  in  the  polarity  of  the  relationship  or  anything.    
But  if  you  do  it  once,  that  usually  leads  to;  you  probably  go  to  bed  and  you're  like  
"damn,  this  is  kind  of  comfortable.      

This  is  kind  of  interesting.  Oh  we  have  sex,  and  it's  kind  of  good."    And  the  next  
night  it  happens  and  you're  like,  "you  know  what,  last  night  was  pretty  good  too."    
I'm  going  to  go  do  that  again,  "fuck  work."    And  then  day  two  becomes  day  ten  
and  it  becomes  a  pattern,  and  then  pretty  soon  she's  your  number  one.    Your  
mission  kind  of  falls  to  the  wayside.    

That's  one  example  that  guys  they  see  a  lot.    Late  at  night,  you're  working,  she's  in  
be,  she's  like  "chill  out,  stop  working.    Just  come  relax  with  me  for  a  while."    Once  
in  a  while  it's  fine,  but  in  that  moment  your  actual  masculine  energy  is  like,  "no,  
mission.    Conquer."    Just  keep  that  in  mind.    Scenarios  that  relate  to  that.    There  
could  be  other  things  that  are  very  similar,  maybe  it's  not  late  at  night,  but  just  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
remember  that.    Remember  where  is  she,  and  where  is  your  mission,  and  on  a  
deep  genetic  level  what  does  she  really  want  from  you?      

What  does  she  really  want  from  you?    Definitely  don't  apologize  for  it  later.    
That's  one  of  the  worst  things  I  see.    The  guy  is  like,  "no  I'm  going  to  work,  and  
then  he  comes  back  to  bed  at  1:30  and  he's  like,  "sorry  honey,"  he  becomes  all  
apologetic  and  shit  and  that  just  pisses  her  off.      

She's  like,  "dude  if  that's  what  you  wanted  to  do  then  fucking  do  it,  don't  come  
back  to  me  and  apologize  later.    Stay  true  to  your  mission."    Don't  go  back  and  
apologize.    I  see  that  sometimes  and  I'm  like,  "dude,  what  are  you  doing."  

Never  apologize  for  being  a  fucking  pimp.    Don't  apologize  for  being  a  pimp.    And  
allow  her  room  to  feel  grateful.    That's  what  I  wrote  down.    That's  so  narcissistic.    
That's  really  what  I  wrote  down.    I  said,  "never  apologize  for  being  a  fucking  pimp,  
allow  room  for  her  immense  gratefulness."      

And  I'm  like  half  joking  there,  but  at  the  same  time  some  truth.    Because  
truthfully  a  lot  of  the  guys  she  meets  fucking  suck,  and  when  she  meets  a  bad  ass  
who  is  like  taking  over  the  world,  that  is  pretty  cool,  that  really  is  pretty  fucking  
cool.      

That  is  AIM.    The  reason  I  like  that  acronym,  I  want  to  like  close  this  here,  is  
always  remember  your  AIM.    Your  mission  is  number  one,  always  keep  your  aim  
on  what's  most  important  for  you  and  for  her  in  the  relationship.    Attention,  
indifference,  the  mission.    With  that,  she'll  always  have  to  and  want  to  work  for  
your  attention  on  some  level.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
You'll  always  maintain  your  interpersonal  indifference  because  your  passion  is  
invested  in  your  mission.    Let  me  say  that  one  more  time,  I  think  that's  pretty  
fucking  cool.    You'll  always  maintain  your  interpersonal  indifference  because  your  
passion  is  invested  in  your  mission;  this  stuff  cannot  affect  you  that  much,  
because  no  matter  how  hard  it  try's,  your  emotion  and  your  energy  and  your  
passion  is  going  to  be  invested  in  your  mission,  at  least  the  majority  of  it.      

You  want  to  talk  about  you're  like,  "how  do  I  become  more  indifferent;  how  do  I  
become  more  non-­‐reactive?"    Become  obsessed  with  you  mission.    That  little  shit  
that  use  to  get  to  you  doesn't  really  get  to  you  anymore.    Because  your  mission  in  
life,  whatever  that  may  be  will  always  be  more  important  than  her,  you'll  always  
be  the  interesting  the  exiting  challenge  she'll  always  get  to  work  for  and  be  highly  
highly  turned  on  by.      

One  of  the  things  Data  talks  about  with  the  mission  thing,  is  like,  definitely  read  
that  book:  The  Way  of  the  Superior  Man  if  you  haven't.    Definitely  give  that  a  
read.    It's  a  shit  book,  is  what  I  call  it.    That  doesn't  mean  it's  shitty,  it  means  when  
you  take  a  shit  you  read  it.  

It's  like  two  pages,  chapters,  you  can  just  bang  one  out,  depending  how  long  your  
shit  is.  Three,  whatever.    One  of  the  things  he  talks  about  in  there  is  just  admit  it,  
stop  being  affected  by  all  this  bullshit,  and  just  fucking  admit  it,  that  your  mission  
is  always  going  to  be  more  important  than  her,  or  your  family,  or  whatever  it  is  
because  if  you  don't  have  that  mission  in  life,  your  core  feels  empty.      

Just  admit  it,  and  what  he  says  to  do,  you  can  even  explain  to  her  if  you  have  to  
but  "just  understand  like  this  is  what  I'm  doing,  this  is  my  mission  in  life,  this  is  like  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       JASON CAPITAL
 
so  important  to  me,  and  if  I  were  going  to  come  hang  out  with  you  now  instead,  
you  would  not  get  my  full  attention.      

You  would  get  part  of  it,  because  part  of  my  mind  would  be  back  on  my  mission  
because  I  didn't  finish  what  I  wanted  to  do.    So  here's  what  I  can  do,  I  can  kill  this  
for  you  while  you  go  whatever  you  have  to  do,  and  then  later  on  I'll  give  you  my  
time,  I'll  give  you  a  whole  hour  of  my  time,  whatever  it  is,  and  you're  going  to  
have  my  full  attention  then.  

You’re  not  just  going  to  have  my  undivided;  you're  not  just  going  to  have  part  of  
my  attention,  because  I'm  thinking  about  this  and  I'm  kind  of  here  with  you  but  
I'm  worried  about  this  thing  that's  happening  tomorrow  for  my  business,  or  
whatever  it  is,  but  I'm  going  to  do  this,  and  then  later  on  when  I'm  with  you  
because  I  respect  you  so  much,  and  I  don't  want  to  just  give  you  part  of  my  
attention  or  whatever  it  is,  I'll  be  there  fully  present  with  you  later  on.      

That's  kind  of  how  you  if  you  were  wondering  how  do  I  make  that  mission  thing  
work,  that's  how  you  do  it.    When  you're  on  your  mission,  on  your  fucking  mission  
and  when  you're  with  her,  then  you're  with  her.    All  right.    Thanks  guys.  
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 

CHAPTER 7: ALEX ON BEING GENUINE

I  get  to  talk  about  a  subject  that's  one  of  my  favorites.  I  don't  teach  dating.  I  teach  
sex  and  intimacy.  This  subject  has  a  great  overlay.  Of  course,  both  those  subjects  
have  a  great  overlay,  but  I'm  going  to  be  talking  about  what  it  means  to  be  
genuine.    

I  know  that  Christians  outlined  a  bunch  of  stuff  to  talk  about.  Dominance,  
competence,  challenge,  and  all  these  other  things,  mystery,  and  I  think  the  beauty  
of  really  understanding  authenticity  and  genuineness  is  that  it  brings  out  all  those  
things  in  a  relationship  between  you  and  a  woman.    

I  think,  by  the  time  I'm  done  talking,  I’m  going  to  have  enrolled  you  in  the  idea  
that  it's  the  single  most  attractive  thing  that  you  can  bring  to  a  woman  or  to  a  
man  in  your  friendships.  That  it's  really  the  depth  of  courage  and  reveling  yourself  
to  be  a  man  of  quality  and  mystery  and  challenge  and  all  those  other  things.  So  I  
kind  of  want  to  attack  this  from  a  couple  of  levels.  I'm  going  to  start  with  kind  of  a  
basic  structure  of  why  you  should  know  this  stuff.  Why  it's  such  a  big  deal.  Why  it  
has  such  a  powerful  effect  on  the  humans  around  you.    

The  second  thing  I'm  going  to  talk  about  is  what  it  means  to  be  genuine.  What  
does  it  really  mean?  Because  you  kind  of  can  go  into  the  complex  almost  
immediately  in  your  head  of,  "Okay,  how  do  I  act  genuine?"  Then  you  kind  of  see  
the  contradiction  there.  You  can  blow  a  few  fuses  in  your  brain  trying  to  figure  out  
how  to  be  genuine.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
How  do  we  manufacture  genuine  if  genuine  is  genuine.  If  it  really  is  authentic.  
Then  I'm  going  to  give  you  a  how  to.  A  couple  of  things  you  can  go  and  do  in  the  
real  world  that  will  actually  build  this  character  within  you,  and  then  finally  maybe  
we'll  get  into  a  little  what  if,  which  is  how  you  might  take  it  into  the  world  in  a  
bigger  perspective.    

So  the  why  is  simply  this.  We  as  humans  are  incredibly  insecure  and  we  are  
incredibly  bound  up  in  our  story  and  it's  true  of  everyone.  The  most  confident  guy  
you  know,  put  him  in  the  right  situation  and  he  will  collapse.  So  if  you  take  
somebody  you  know  who  can  hold  a  conversation  with  anybody.    

He's  so  intellectual  and  you  put  him  in  a  room  full  of  MAA  fighters  and  they  
suddenly  feel  like,  "Wow,  I'm  not  cool  in  this  environment."  The  same  way  you  
can  take  an  MAA  fighter,  put  him  in  a  room  full  with  some  billionaires,  and  watch  
him  kind  of  collapse  and  feel  like,  "Women  wouldn't  be  interested  in  me  among  
these  men."  Because  we're  all  epically  tuned  in.    

We're  just  infused  with  this  ugly  gift  that  we're  super  aware  of  the  shit  we're  not  
good  at.    We  think  the  stuff  that  we  are  good  at  is  like,  "Well,  anybody  could  do  
that."  We  devalue  our  excellence.  We  really  feel  like  those  areas  where  we're  a  
genius  like,  "Anybody  could  do  that  shit."    

But  when  we're  in  a  room  full  of  people  that  have  competencies  we  don't  have,  
we're  very  quick  to  judge  ourselves.  So  most  of  us  play  some  forms  of  roles.  And  
there's  a  sniff  test  that  other  people  have  that  says,  "Oh,  yeah,  he's  like  
everybody  else.  He  plays  some  roles."  There's  nothing  bad  about  it.  It's  ordinary.  
Everybody  plays  some  roles.  Everybody  wants  to  look  cool.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
I'm  present.  I  want  to  look  cool  right  here  and  now.  I  want  you  guys  to  think,  
"Wow,  that  guy  said  some  smart  shit,"  you  know.  And  to  the  degree  that  I  let  that  
piece  of  me  run  this  talk  is  the  degree  that  I'm  going  to  fail.  I'm  going  to  fail  you  .  
I'm  going  to  fail  me.  I  won't  be  cool.  I'll  be  ordinary  because  that's  what  people  
do.  They  come  up  here  they  want  to  impress  you.  They  want  to  sound  smart.    

However,  to  the  degree  that  I  can  be  vulnerable  and  expose  myself  and  be  
genuine,  is  the  degree  to  which  I  can  connect  heart  to  heart  with  each  of  you  and  
really  demonstrate  something  that  can  recreate  your  life  so  powerfully  that  this  
talk  will  change  you.  If  I  can  do  that,  then  I've  actualized  myself.  Then  I've  really  
reached  the  highest  level  that  I  could  reach  personally,  which  would  be  that  
contribution.  

I'm  going  to  go  out  on  a  limb  and  say  hold  me  to  that.  Hold  me  to  that  standard.  
Don't  let  me  off  with  anything  less  than  that  because  that  is  the  power  of  being  
genuine,  of  being  authentic.  When  you  dare  to  be  genuine  and  I'll  draw  this  out  
more  fully  for  you,  but  I'm  going  to  call  genuine,  authentic,  synonymous,  and  the  
other  synonym  is  vulnerable.  Vulnerable  is  intensely  courageous.  You  can't  be  
genuine  without  vulnerability  because  it's  easy  to  be  genuine  when  you're  already  
a  rock  star.  Anybody  can  do  that  and  it  doesn't  set  you  apart  in  an  attractive  way.    

I'm  not  a  pickup  artist.  I  never  had  been.  ‘Till  this  day,  I  will  get  tongue  tied  if  I  
approach  a  bunch  of  beautiful  woman  in  a  bar.  It's  just  nothing  I’ve  ever  learned  
how  to  do.  I'm  not  super  good  at  walking  up  to  a  woman  and  saying,  "Hey,  babe,  
let  me  get  a  female  opinion  on  it."    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
I  don't  know  how  to  play  that  game.  There  was  even  a  time  when  I  got  kind  of  
interested  in  it  because  I  was  friends  with  a  lot  of  these  guys  and  I  saw  the  success  
they  were  having.  It  looked  pretty  cool  and  it  made  me  insecure  and  nervous  
about  these  things  that  I  couldn't  do.    

With  all  of  that  said,  all  of  these  friends  of  mine  who'd  been  in  this  business  for  a  
long  time  starting,  by  the  way,  way  back  with  Project  Hollywood  and  Mystery  and  
RSD  and  all  those  guys.  I've  known  those  guys  for  10,  15  years  through  a  weird  
side  door,  but  all  those  guys  have  always  had  this  sort  of  strange  paternal-­‐like  
respect  for  me  because  I'd  represented  something  that  they  hadn't  obtained  yet.    

I  was  a  little  older  than  them  and  I  represented  through  the  simple  means  of  not  
having  learned  the  tricks  to  get  women  attracted  to  me,  but  simply  reaching  the  
maturity  where  women  were  like,  “Oh,  this  guy's  cool.  I  would  totally  be  with  this  
guy."  So  I've  always  had  plenty  of  beautiful  women  to  date.  I've  been  in  a  lot  of  
great  relationships  with  amazing,  incredible  women  and  I'm  married  to  the  most  
amazing  woman  that  I  personally  ever  met.    

They  kind  of  looked  at  that  and  they  were  like,  "Well,  he's  a  natural.  He's  a  
natural."  But  that's  bullshit  because  their  definition  of  a  natural  was  some  guy  
who  could  walk  into  a  bar  and  get  a  bunch  of  chicks  and  I  could  never  do  that.  So  I  
was  kind  of  breaking  their  model  in  a  way.    

The  answer  to  all  this,  the  reason  I've  always  had  these  beautiful,  engaging,  
heartfelt,  sexually  juicy,  trusting,  easy  relationships  with  women  is  because  this  
other  thing.  This  genuine  thing.  This  thing  that  I  keyed  into  early  enough  to  realize  
that  your  mom  was  right.  You  just  have  to  be  yourself.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
What  you  mom  didn't  tell  you  is  how  fucking  hard  that  is.  It  sounds  easy.  Like,  "Be  
yourself,"  should  be  the  easiest  thing  on  earth  because  who  knows  you  better  
than  you,  but  it's  the  hardest  thing  on  earth  because  you  don't  like  you.  On  some  
level  you  don't.  And  the  reason  I  know  that  about  you  is  because  you're  a  human.  
That  comes  prewired  in  the  human  beast.    

Are  all  of  these  areas  in  which  we  don't  totally  trust  ourselves  and  we  are  filled  up  
with  the  voices  of  every  other  fucken  person  in  our  life  and  their  approval  or  
disapproval  of  the  way  we  dress,  the  way  we  speak,  and  the  way  we  come  across  
in  every  situation.  Every  decision  we  make  there's  this  voice  of  our  father,  living,  
dead,  doesn’t  matter  if  you  ever  met  him.  There's  this  voice  of  your  father  in  you  
and  you're  like,  “Okay,  so  if  I  did  this,  how  would  I  play  this  for  dad?  How  could  I  
make  this  cool  to  my  parents?    

So  I'm  dating  this  girl  now.  How  do  I  explain  why  she's  cool  to  my  friends  because  
they  don't  think  she's  cool.  Then  that's  going  to  reflect  bad  on  me."  So  this  is  the  
dialogue  that  every  human  has.  This  sense  of  all  the  other  stakeholders  in  your  
life  that  aren't  you.  Being  able  to  peel  that  shit  away  and  learn  how  to  trust  
yourself  is  what  we  call  maturity.    

You  don't  get  it  in  one  day.  "I'm  a  man  now."  You  get  it  piece  by  piece,  brick  by  
brick,  and  you  get  it  on  the  climb  and  the  most  beautiful  the  most  engaging,  the  
most  intense,  the  most  powerful  way  of  getting  it  is  in  relationship  to  women.    

Unless  you're  gay,  in  relationship  to  men,  but  in  your  romantic  relationship.  In  this  
confronting,  shame-­‐filled,  ego-­‐bruising  wrestling  match  between  you  and  every  
attracted  women  you  meet  and  ultimately  the  woman  you  fall  in  love  with  who  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
you  have  to  have  the  guts,  the  fucking  balls  if  you  really  want  epic  love,  to  trust  
with  your  heart  knowing  full  well  that  she  could  destroy  it.  That's  love,  by  the  
way.  Love  is  that  trust.  You  take  care  of  it.  Trust  you  on  this.    

It's  a  huge  barrier  for  most  men  to  cross.  Your  capacity  to  do  that,  your  capacity  
for  real  love  is  immediately  sniffable,  testable,  tasteable  by  every  women  you  
meet.  That  quality  is  so  attractive  that  if  you  never  learn  how  to  say  boo  to  a  
woman  in  a  bar  or  walk  up  to  a  women  in  Starbucks,  you  will  always  have  women  
in  your  life.    

High  quality  women,  beautiful  women,  women  who  you  light  up  for  like  in  
Schindler's  List.  The  girl  in  the  red  coat  against  the  black  and  white  scene.  You  are  
visible  to  women  when  you  learn  this  genuine  quality.  That's  the  why.  That's  the  
why.    

If  there's  Q  and  A  after  this  and  anybody  really  wants  to  put  me  to  the  test  on  
this,  I  will  go  at  this  as  long  as  necessary  to  make  you  understand  that  I  am  not  full  
of  shit.  That  this  is  real,  and  that  if  you  get  this,  you  don't  have  to  ever  get  
anything  else.  And  furthermore,  that  your  relationships  with  other  men,  your  
capacity  to  form  strong  and  trusting  friendships  and  to  be  able  to  say  to  a  man,  
"Look,  I  need  you  to  do  this."    

And  he'll  go,  "Got  it.  I  got  it.  I'm  going  to  do  that."  And  know  that  they'll  take  you  
seriously  immediately  is  all  bound  up  in  this  ability  to  be  vulnerable  about  the  shit  
that  you're  not  comfortable  being  vulnerable  with.  It's  all  in  that.  All  of  it.  It's  
some  scary  shit.  It's  scary  for  me  right  now,  right  here.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
So  what  is  it?  What  is  it?  What  it  is  is  the  permission  you  give  other  people  to  
finally  let  down  their  guard  and  be  a  little  more  genuine  too.  That's  what  it  is.  So  if  
I  can  articulate  something  in  my  life  that  scares  me  or  that  I'm  ashamed  of,  if  I  can  
talk  to  you  about  an  issue  that  I  had  with  my  penis  size,  I  could  get  that  across  to  
you  in  an  authentic  way  and  you  can  tell  that  I'm  confronting  my  fear  to  get  there,  
it  gives  you  permission  to  be  a  more  authentic  man  with  me.  It  lets  you  go,  "Right.  
I  don't  have  to  be  ashamed.  I  can  be  me  because  when  that  guy  was  being  real,  
when  he  was  being  himself,  I  didn't  think  less  of  him.  I  didn't  think  that  guy's  a  
loser."    

When  I  admitted  my  fear,  it  let  you,  across  from  me,  get  a  little  closer  to  
admitting  your  fears  and  insecurities  not  just  to  me  but  to  yourself.  You  realize,  
“Oh,  I  don't  have  to  hold  this  shit  so  tight.”  When  you  can  do  that  with  a    woman,  
it  gives  her  permission  to  open  to  you.  When  I  say  open,  I  mean  open  in  the  
scariest  place  possible  for  her.    

That  shame  feel  world  of  sexuality.  Like  I  said,  I  teach  sex,  not  dating.  The  delta  
for  a  woman  between,  "Wow,  this  guy  was  attractive  and  he's  fucking  me  right  
now.”  And,  “I  just  got  in  my  head  that  no  matter  how  long  he  does  this,  it's  never  
going  to  get  good.  He's  seen  a  lot  of  porn  and  he's  going  to  drill  me  for  a  while  
and  I'm  going  to  deal  with  that  because  he  seems  pretty  cool,  my  friends  all  
thought  he  was  cute,  now  here  I  am  in  his  fucken  apartment.  Oh,  God."  So  that's  
the  way  a  woman  feels  when  you're  not  authentic  sexually.    

When  she  feels  your  vulnerability,  when  she  feels  that  capacity  to  be  real  in  
herself,  it  allows  her  to  be  surprised  almost  in  the  first  moment.  You'll  find  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
women  who  can  become  orgasmic  with  you  from  a  kiss,  from  the  brush  of  your  
hands,  and  they're  suddenly  like  so  turned  on.  Why  is  that?  It's  because  they  get  
to  be  more  vulnerable  with  you.  They  get  to  be  because  who  you  showed  up  as  
because  you're  not  a  douche.    

So  for  all  the  attraction  of  the  douche,  which,  by  the  way,  is  that  kind  of  opposite  
attraction.  It's  that,  "Well,  he's  playing  such  a  thick  game."  It’s  an  L.A.  
phenomenon,  I  call  it.  L.A.  is  a  place  …  And  I  love  L.A.  I  have  wonderful  friends  in  
L.A.,  but  the  L.A.  phenomenon  is  a  place  where  a  cab  driver  can  say,  "Yeah,  I'm  a  
screen  writer  with  a  3  picture  deal,"  to  a  bartender  who  pretends  to  believe  him  
in  exchange  for  which  he  gets  to  say,  "Yeah,  so  I'm  directing  this  thing  with  Tri  
Star  and  I  had  a  meeting  with  Spielberg,"  And  we  can  kind  of  agree  that  we'll  all  
pretend  that  this  is  real.  That’s  kind  of  an  L.A.  conversation.    

So  there  is  a  safe  hiding  space  for  a  women  with  this  douchey  guy.  There's  a  safe  
hiding  space.  He's  attractive,  he  pretends  to  be  confident.  I  can  pretend  to  be  
confident,  and  then  we  can  pretend  to  be  the  good  looking  people  in  the  bar,  but  
it  doesn't  go  anywhere.  It  goes  nowhere.  It  goes  to  sexually  unsatisfying,  but  
maybe  it'll  get  better  if  we  keep  trying  relationships.    

It  goes  to,  "I'm  dating  this  girl,  but  I  need  to  maintain  my  power  here.  She  needs  
to  think  I  have  a  lot  of  options,  so  I  could  be  the  powerful  one  in  the  relationship.  
Then  I  can  call  the  shots.  I  don't  have  to  be  jealous  as  long  as  she's  attracted  to  
me.  She'll  be  attracted  to  me  as  long  as  she  sees  that  I'm  cool  with  other  women.”    

I've  heard  an  awful  lot  of  these  guys  talk  about  this  thing  that  if  a  woman  that  
you're  talking  to  in  a  bar  goes  to  the  bathroom,  she  comes  back,  she  better  find  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
you  talking  to  another  woman  or  she's  going  to  think  you're  no  value,  right?  So  
that  little  game  space  is  real  and  you  can  dismiss  it  when  you  get  this  because  
you're  trading  it  in  for  something  bigger.  You're  trading  it  in  for  what  it  was  that  
you  were  faking  before.    

The  truth  of  it.  That's  the  what.  The,  what  is  the  opportunity  that  people  feel  
when  they're  with  you  to  be  their  real  self  because  you  had  the  balls  to  be  your  
real  self?  It's  permission.  Powerful  permission  to  engage  in  something  real  and  
not  have  to  be  jealous  and  possessive  and  needy  and  playing  stupid  games  all  the  
time.  You  get  to  pass  by  all  that  when  you  get  to  really  the  genuine  space.  Now,  
how  do  you  do  it?  

Won’t  you  see  me  in  my  real  light.  Real,  genuine,  and  authentic.  Which  means  
occasionally  poorly  lit.  So  how  do  you  do  it?  It  is  the  easiest  hard  thing  you'll  ever  
do.  It  is  the  easiest  hard  thing  you'll  ever  do.    

The  truth  is,  we  all  have  this  sense  that  we  could  be  a  bad  ass.  We  really  could.  
Like  I  could,  maybe,  I  can  put  on  the  cool  clothing  and  I  can  walk  up  to  a  girl  and  I  
could  just  say  some  cool  stuff,  and  she'd  think  I  was  cool  because  somewhere  in  
me  there's  a  cool  guy  dying  to  get  out.  We  have  that  sense  of  our  own  
attractiveness,  but  we  don't  trust  ourselves  enough  to  do  it.  We  feel  like  if  we  did,  
there  would  be  a  train  wreck  and  she'd  laugh  at  us  and  whatever.    

Somewhere  in  there  the  vulnerability  of  the  truth  of  it  is  what  sets  you  free.  
Here's  the  practice.  Here's  the  practice.  Notice  what  you’re  ashamed  of  and  afraid  
of  in  your  life.  Ask  yourself  the  question,  "What  am  I  secretly  afraid  might  be  true  
about  me  that  other  people  might  now  that  I  wish  they  didn't  know?"    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
Then  find  a  solid  man  that  you  trust  and  admit  it  to  them.  Find  a  stranger.  A  cab  
driver,  guy  that  cuts  your  hair.  Admit  it  to  them.  Say  it  out  loud.  Shame  grows  in  
the  dark  like  a  fungus  or  a  mold.  In  the  light,  it  dies.  So  get  into  the  practice  of  
doing  this  and  just  watch  what  happens.    

Notice  the  response  when  you  walk  up  to  a  black  friend  of  yours  and  say,  "You  
know,  I  sometimes  make  racist  jokes  when  you're  not  in  the  room.  That  
happened,  so  try  to  sort  that  out.  I  think  it's  kind  of  funny.  What  do  you  think  
about  that?"  Try  and  get  into  what  it  would  be  to  be  genuine  where  it's  scary.  If  
it's  not  scary,  you're  cheating.  If  you  don't  feel  your  heart  in  your  throat  you're  
cheating.  If  you're  in  a  relationship,  start  talking  to  a  woman  about  the  sexual  
fantasies  that  you  think  she  might  not  approve  of.    

A  couple  of  things  are  going  to  happen  when  you  start  doing  this.  The  first  thing  
is,  you're  going  to  notice  that  people  sigh  in  relief  because  it's  like,  "Oh,  God,  
breath  of  fresh  air.  Genuine,  real,  authentic,  vulnerable.  This  is  the  real  shit.  
There's  something  that's  true  here.  That's  possible.  I  get  to  let  down  some  of  my  
guards  down."  

 The  second  thing  you're  going  to  notice  is  they  already  knew.  That's  the  crazy  shit  
is,  they  knew  and  they  knew  you  were  lying.  On  some  level  they  were  playing  that  
L.A  game.  They  were  pretending  that  they  didn't  know  and  you  were  pretending  
that  it  wasn't  true.    

Like  people  that  are  married  and  the  guy  says,  "No,  honey,  of  course,  I'm  never  
attracted  to  other  women.  What  are  you  talking  about?  You're  the  only  one  for  
me."  But  the  denial  of  your  human  maleness,  and  by  the  way  her  eager  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
acceptance  of  that  is  killing  your  masculinity.  It's  killing  you  as  a  man.  It's  making  
you  less  than  a  man  because  you're  saying,  “My  sexual  desire,  my  impulse  as  a  
man  is  bad,  wrong,  and  shameful.  I  better  hide  that  shit."    

That's  a  recipe  for  a  relationship  that  very,  very  quickly  goes  into  sexual  boredom  
because  you  can  only  live  on  variety  at  that  point.  There  ain't  nothing  else.  You've  
cheated  yourself  out  of  all  the  possible  authentic  attraction  where  you  can  trust  
your  cock.  You  can't  trust  your  cock  when  you're  lying.  You  can't  trust  yourself.  
You're  lying.  You're  lying  to  yourself.  You're  lying  to  her.  You're  lying  to  everyone  
around  you.  So  there's  a  process,  there's  a  real  process  of  figuring  out  what  it  is  
that  you’re  afraid  to  talk  about  and  talking  about  it.  Be  real  about  it.    

Finally  the  what  if,  which  is,  how  far  could  you  take  this.  The,  what  if  here,  the,  if  
you  actually  follow  this  process  is  that  it  remakes  you.  It  ultimately  remakes  you  
into  somebody  who  has  the  balls  to  be  authentic  in  those  difficult  places  of  all,  
which  is  not  the  things  that  you’re  ashamed  of,  but  the  things  that  you're  
ashamed  you  might  not  pull  off.    

That's  when  you  get  to  show  up  as  masculine  with  all  your  desires,  all  your  truth,  
all  your  real,  and  all  your  bad  ass,  and  be  able  to  be  this  with  women  and  discover  
that  they  won't  go,  "Oh,  God,  you  really,  you  think  you're  cool,  but  you're  actually  
a  boy."    

This  fear  that  we  have  that  if  we  actually  step  into  the  space  of  claiming  what  we  
want  as  men  and  really  being  the  cool  guy,  the  fear  that  we'll  be  rejected  is  that.  
That  nobody  will  accept  us  with  that.  “He  thinks  he's  cool."  Like  you  can  just  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
imagine  the  whole  horror  movie  of  all  these  people  pointing  and  laughing  at  you  
and  sepia  black  and  white  looking  down  on  you.  It  never  happens  in  real  life.    

100%  of  the  time  that  you  dare  to  be  your  deepest  most  powerful  self,  women  
find  it  intensively  relieving  and  relaxing.  When  you  can  be  your  sexually  true  self,  
when  you  can  admit  to  your  desires  and  your  capacities  and  really  step  into  your  
role  as  a  leader,  you  are  soothing  to  be  around  to  women.  You're  not  threatening.  
They  don't  think,  "Oh,  God,  this  guy  wants  something  from  me."  No.  They  think,  
"Aw,  he's  open  and  honest  about  what  he  wants  from  me  and  they  get  to  be  with  
a  man  that  they  dreamt  of.  The  real  deal.  The  real  thing.  Authentic.    

We  could  do  something  with  that  homophobia  too.  What's  so  good  about  the  
question  is  that  it  really  is  a  potentially  tight  thing  to  differentiate  between  what's  
vulnerable  and  what's  needy.  They  are  completely  separate.  There's  funny  and  
there's  tasteless.  Things  could  be  funny  without  being  tasteless  and  thing  could  be  
tasteless  without  being  funny  or  they  could  be  funny  and  tasteless,  right?  Needy  
is  needy.  Needy  is  needy.  Vulnerable  is  the  willingness  to  go  down  in  flames.  The  
willingness  to  be  real  at-­‐risk  to  yourself.    

In  some  ways  it  really  strongly  differentiates  from  neediness  because  when  you're  
needy  you  need  it  to  go  a  certain  way.  You  need  it  to  go  a  certain  way.  Vulnerable  
is  standing  in  your  truth.  Standing  in  it.  It's  what's  true  about  me.  If  that's  not  cool  
with  you,  I'm  not  cool  with  you  and  that  scares  me  a  little  bit  because  I  would  like  
you  to  think  I'm  cool.  That  scares  me  a  little  bit,  but  I  don't  need  to  be  needy  
there.  I  could  be,  right?  I  could  be  like,  "Mommy,  you  have  to  like  me  even  though  
I'm  like  this,"  right?  I  mean,  you  get  that  there's  a  distinction.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
The  value  is  unwiring  and  really  figuring  out  how  these  things  got  nodded  
together  is  exactly  in  am  I  using  this  poor  me  sense.  This  sense  of,  “I’ve  got  this  
insecurity  for  me.  Am  I  using  this  to  get  attention?”  Am  I  getting  attention  from  
it?  If  I’m  using  it  to  get  attention,  then  it's  doing  authenticity.  You  know  what  I  
mean?  That's  what  I  said  at  the  beginning.    

There's  this  little  thing  about  how  do  I  do  authentic  if  once  you're  doing  it,  you're  
not  authentic  anymore.  By  definition  you're  immediately  off  somewhere  else.  It  
really  has  to  do  with  that  attention  seeking  behavior.  First,  it's  really  trying  to  get  
to  the  depth  of  who  you  are  and  unwire  that  shit.  “I've  been  ashamed  of  this  in  
the  past  and  I'm  determined  not  to  be  in  the  future.  I'm  going  to  talk  about  this.”    

Let’s  talk  about  how  to  give  a  woman  an  authentic  complement?  How  do  you  be  
genuine  with  your  attraction  to  her  without  losing  your  power  or  coming  across  
as  needy  again  or  creating  a  place  where  she  feels  socially  superior  to  you  and  
maybe  less  interested  in  you  because  you're  just  one  of  the  many  guys  who  
happen  to  notice  that  she's  rocking  ridiculously  hot.  The  answer  is  that  it's  non-­‐
transactional.  It's  non-­‐transactional.    

This  idea  of  non-­‐transactional  interactions  with  other  humans  is  a  category  onto  
itself,  but  of  course,  when  a  man  walks  up  to  a  woman  and  says,  "Wow,  babe,  you  
look  great  in  them  shoes."  He  means,  "I'm  interested  in  you  and  maybe  you  
should  talk  to  me  because  I  think  you're  cute.  Maybe  you'll  pay  me  a  
complement.    

Maybe  you'll  like  me  back  because  I  said  something  nice  to  you."  We  all  know,  in  
this  world,  that  when  somebody  does  something  nice  for  us  we  want  to  do  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
something  nice  for  them.  It’s  basic  reciprocity.  The  question  is  can  you  give  a  
women  a  complement,  can  you  pay  her  a  complement  in  a  way  that's  non-­‐
transactional.    

The  root  of  this  is  so  devious  because  the  only  way  to  get  this  right  is  to  be  able  to  
do  it  right.  You  have  to  feel  it  right.  I  guess  you  could  fake  it,  but  it's  pretty  
detectable.  It's  pretty  detectable.  So  when  you're  complementing  a  woman  is  it  
because  you  really  want  to  say  something  to  her.    

You're  dying  to  have  something  to  say  and  that's  the  only  fucking  thing  you  can  
think  of.  In  which  case  if  you  say  to  her,  "You're  cute  and  I'm  wrecking  my  brain  
trying  to  think  of  something  to  say  to  you,  and  the  only  thing  that  comes  into  my  
mind  is  wow,  you're  really  cute,  which  makes  me  a  poor  conversationalist,  I  guess  
or  just  stymied  by  how  good  looking  you  are."    

Now,  it's  non-­‐transactional  anymore.  Now  it's  authentic.  Now  you're  telling  the  
truth.  Like,  "I  kind  of  suck  at  this  and  I'm  probably  making  a  fool  of  myself  and  it's  
confronting  to  me  to  have  this  conversation  with  you."  That's  real,  right?  Now,  
will  that  work?  Well,  depends  on  if  it's  true.  It  won’t  work  as  a  line.  I'm  telling  you  
it  won’t  work  as  a  line.    

Memorize  it,  go  do  it,  it  will  work  as  well  or  not  well  as  hello.  But  when  it's  real,  
when  you're  feeling  it,  when  you're  allowing  yourself  to  be  seeing  as  afraid,  it'll  
work.  It'll  work.  By  the  way,  I'll  have  to  put  some  exceptions  in  there.  The  
exceptions  are  there  are  people  who  are  so  bound  up  in  their  own  self-­‐fear  that  it  
is  not  welcome.  You  will  run  into  that.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
There  are  people  who  will  find  you  freaky  and  hard  to  be  with  when  you  become  
authentic.  The  good  news  is  you  can't  trust  those  people.  You  don't  want  to  be  
with  them  and  you  can't  have  an  authentic  and  real  relationship  with  them  
anyway.  Other  than  as  their  kind  of  teacher,  their,  "I'm  going  to  help  you  to  better  
yourself  in  life,"  maybe,  but  you're  never  going  to  approach  somebody  like  that  as  
an  equal.    

The  beauty  of  authentic  people  is  that  we  can  smell  each  other.  We're  willing  to  
go.  Being  in  this  room,  by  the  way,  it's  an  authentic  move.  Say,  "I  need  to  help  in  
this  area."  For  men  say,  "I  need  help,"  is  an  authentic  move.  It  makes  you  likable.  
It  makes  you  likable  to  the  teachers  and  to  the  other  men  in  the  room.  We're  
likable  to  each  other.  Why?  Because  we're  vulnerable  to  each  other.    

The  nature  of  this  paying  the  complement  is  you  have  to  sniff  yourself.  You  have  
to  find  it  in  yourself.  “Am  I  doing  this  transact?  Am  I  doing  this  transactionally.  Am  
I  trying  to  get  some  reaction  from  her  or  am  I  being  intensely  generous  of  spirit?”  
By  the  way,  that  is  the  next  level  here.  That  is  the  next  level  of  the,  what  if  you  
kept  being  authentic?  Which  is,  you  begin  to  discover  that  people  love  it.  They  eat  
it  like,  "Aw,  it's  delicious.  It's  fucken  delicious."    

I  mean,  when  somebody  says  something  really  vulnerable  to  you,  particularly  
somebody  who  you  hold  at  high  esteem  and  they're  like,  "Wow,  I  was  really  
scared  back  there  when  we  were  doing  that  thing.  I  walked  up  to  that  girl  and  I  
was  afraid  she  was  going  to  reject  me  in  front  of  all  you  guys."    

That  makes  them  so  fucken  likable  and  you'll  see  it.  People  light  up  when  you're  
vulnerable  with  them  and  it's  delicious  to  them.  So  the  next  step  is  can  you  give  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
people  your  genuine,  can  you  give  them  your  vulnerable  as  a  matter  of  
generosity?  As  a  heart  expression?  As  an  expression  of  your  generosity  as  a  man?  
This  kind  of  masculine  generosity  of,  “I’ve  got  enough  for  both  of  us.  You  have  a  
piece.”    

Sometimes  a  man  needs  to  hear  your  vulnerability  because  he's  feeling  so  small  in  
that  moment  that  if  you  don't  give  him  some  vulnerability  too  he's  just  going  to  
disintegrate.  It's  a  generous  act.  When  you're  with  a  women  and  you  say  to  her,  
"You  are  literally  flaming  my  eyeballs  right  now,"  and  you  say  it  from  a  place  of  
generosity  and  non-­‐transactional.    

You  don't  expect  a  gift  a  return.  You  have  no  idea  if  this  interaction  is  going  to  go  
further.  If  it  did,  delightful,  but  if  it  doesn't,  it's  not  why  you  said  it.  There  was  no  
transaction.  You  were  doing  as  an  act  of  generosity.  That  generosity  of  spirit  will  
make  it  come  across  as  vulnerable  and  powerful.    

Just  now  someone  asked:  “When  there’s  somebody  that  you're  very  attached  to  
or  somebody  in  your  life  who  is  very  important  to  you  and  maybe  you  have  all  
these  fears,  but  you  haven't  expressed  them  before  but  this  person  is  very  
important  to  you  how  do  you  go  into  that  from  not  doing  it  before?  Because  it's  
not  just  a  fear  of  saying  it.  The  finding  your  fear  and  the  fear  of  saying  it.  You  have  
the  fear  of  what  the  other  person  is  going  to  think  of  you  or  how  they're  going  to  
react  and  they're  going  to  leave  you.  Is  there  any  way  of  practicing  or  things  you  
should  do  or  how  you  should  go  about  getting  into  that?”  

I  told  them:  “The  answer  is  bound  up  in  what's  at  stake,  right?  That's  why  I  said  
it's  easier  with  a  guy  that  cuts  your  hair  or  a  bartender  than  it  is  with  your  dad  or  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
the  woman  you're  in  love  with  or  men,  right?  Because  there's  something  at  stake.  
“If  they  reject  me,  this  could  be  fucken  bad."  To  the  degree  that  it's  scary,  is  the  
very  degree  to  how  powerful  it  will  be  received.    

The  scarier  it  is,  the  bigger  the  payoff.  Almost  100%  of  the  time  my  experience.  
Now  there's  two  little  issues  that  are  the  kind  of  how  tos  here.  You  have  to  do  it  
right.  If  you  do  it  wrong,  you'll  destroy  the  universe.  I  mean,  you'll  destroy  the  
universe.  You'll  have  broken  it.    

The  first  one  is,  and  it's  a  big  one  is,  you  need  to  clean  it  internally  first  to  make  
sure  there's  no  accusation  in  it.  To  make  sure  that  your  fear  is  yours  alone  and  not  
some  projection.  “You  did  this  and  when  you  did  that  that  made  me  scared  that  
you  didn't  take  me  seriously,”  right?    

Because  as  soon  as  you  do  that,  there's  this  sniff,  this  possibility  that,  "Oh,  you're  
saying  I'm  bad  and  wrong."  Now,  here's  the  thing,  it  doesn't  matter  what  your  
intention  was.  It  literally  doesn't  matter  if  your  intention  was  to  be  vulnerable  
because  all  humans  are  incredibly  insecure  and  will  blame  themselves  first  every  
time.    

So  when  you  say,  "So,  I  was  really  scared  and  it  was  all  my  fault.  I  know  this  was  
me.  It  was  my  weird  fear  and  I'm  really  embarrassed  and  I  want  to  admit  it  to  you.  
When  you  did  that  thing,  it  made  me  feel  blah,  blah,  blah,  blah."  Even  though  you  
did  all  you,  that  little  piece  that  it  might  have  been  their  fault,  will  just  make  them  
angry.  They'll  literally,  immediately  say,  "So  you're  accusing  me  of  not  being  
somebody  who  can  handle  the…"    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
Like  you're  putting  it  on  them.  Because  it's  a  high  stakes  game,  you  need  to  sniff  
through  the  whole  message  and  clean  it  in  your  heart  and  in  your  words  and  
make  it  about  you.  It  can't  be  about  them.  It  just  could  never  be  about  them.  It's  
got  to  be  about  you  and  your  stuff.  And  it  could  be  true.    

That's  the  other  piece  of  it.  So  the  question  then  becomes,  what  price  are  you  
willing  to  pay  to  live  in  truth?  There's  a  clear  piece  that  you  need  to  get  here.  I  
want  to  be  super  fucken  clear  about  this.  If  you  want  a  relationship  where  we  lie  
to  each  other,  we're  good  partners  in  life,  we  can  raise  children  together.  I  
occasionally  fuck  my  secretary  when  I'm  on  business  trips.  I  sometimes  hire  call  
girls.  She's  sleeping  with  the  pool  boy,  but  we  pretend  that  we're  cool.  If  that's  
okay  with  you  this  ain't  for  you.  This  is  not  the  game  for  you  to  play.    

This  is  the  game  you  play  when  you  want  the  real  thing.  When  you  want  to  sink  in  
full  surrender  with  another  person.  This  is  love  I'm  talking  about,  not  laid.  It  works  
to  get  your  laid,  funny  enough,  but  it  works  to  get  you  laid  in  a  way  that  you  can  
part  friends  because  you  never  blow  smoke  up  either  of  each  other’s  asses.  May  
have  used  a  little  too  many  ...  too  much  syntax  there.  One  is  you  have  to  clean  
your  message  and  realize  that  your  suspicions  might  be  right.  You  clean  your  
message  and  your  vulnerable  properly,  you'll  get  a  true  response.    

Like,  I'm  a  little  scared  that  you  might  be  really  attracted  to  my  sister.  If  you  clean  
that  message  enough  and  you  really  make  it  about  yourself,  you  can  have  your  
man  come  back  and  say,  "I  am  and  I  occasionally  fantasies  about  her."  Is  that  
okay?  Is  that  okay?  Is  the  truth  okay?    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
If  the  truth  isn't  okay,  you  could  end  up  needy  in  your  message.  You  have  to  be  
okay  with  what's  real.  With  what  is.  With  what's  true.  Are  you  willing  to  play  on  
the  field  of  what's  true?  That's  first.  Is  clean  your  message.  Make  sure  you  want  
authentic,  right?  Then  the  second  thing  is  what  one  of  my  mentors  Nathan  Auto  
calls  top  truth.    

Top  truth  is  as  far  down  as  you  can  go  and  maintain,  which  is  not  always  the  
bottom.  Sometimes  we  feel  like  it's  all  or  nothing.  “I  literally  just  can't  talk  to  my  
lover  about  this  because  I'll  burst  into  flames  or  I  know  we'll  fight.  I  know  we'll  
fight.  We're  not  ready  for  this.”  So  the  question  is,  it's  not  well,  that  means  you  
can't  talk  at  all.  The  question  is,  how  far  down  the  deck  of  cards  can  you  get?  
Where  is  your  top  truth  that  you  can  talk  about  it?  That  you  can  maintain?  That  
you  can  clean  the  message  and  know  you're  cool  with  it.    

So  it  could  be  something  like,  "You  know,  sometimes  I  feel  jealous."  And  they're  
like,  "Oh,  honey,  everyone  feels  jealous  sometimes.  I  feel  jealous  sometimes  too."  
"Yeah,  so  you  know,  my  sister's  really  pretty.  Sometimes  I  feel  jealous  of  my  
sister."  "Yeah,  I  know.  I  can  see  that.  Your  sister's  beautiful.  I  have  a  friend  who's  
really  good  looking.    

I'm  kind  of  jealous  of  him  too."  Now  maybe  you  can  get  down  another  layer.  "So  I  
think  you're  into  my  sister."  Sometimes  you  have  to  deal  them  out,  right?  To  get  
to  what's  vulnerable,  you  have  to  play  the  game  of  top  truth.  Which  is  sometimes  
as  far  as  you  can  go.  It’s  a  powerful  exercise.    

Amazingly  when  you  play  the  game  of  top  truth,  you're  constantly  given  more  
permission.  Constantly  given  more  permission.  I've  never  played  top  truth  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
without  getting  more  permission  to  go  down  deeper.  Again,  if  you're  willing  to  
play  non-­‐transactionally,  what's  true,  what's  vulnerable,  and  what's  your  own  and  
not  a  sneaky  way  of  actually  making  somebody  bad  and  wrong?    

It's  really,  really  easy  to  play  this  game  in  a  sneaky  way  because  what  you  really  
want  to  do  is  get  an  apology  at  the  end  of  this.  You  have  to  be  careful  with  that  
shit.  It's  not  the  same  thing.  It's  valid,  but  understand  it's  a  different  game.    

I  think  that  the  stand  that  I  would  love  for  people  to  make,  the  place  that  I  began  
to  recognize  ...  let  me  tell  the  truth  about  this,  actually,  because  there  is  actually  a  
deep  truth  of  where  it  began  with  me.  I  don't  want  to  take  credit  for  it  by  saying  
the  next  thing.  I'll  say  the  next  thing  next.  My  truth  is  that  I  surrounded  myself  
with  people  who  were  so  authentic  and  had  so  much  integrity  that  they  called  me  
on  my  bullshit.    

They  did  it  for  me.  I  was  forced  through  the  door.  I  was  kicked  through  the  door.  
My  friends  Rose  and  Nat  and  Evan  on  New  Year’s  Eve  about  10  years  ago  kicked  
me  through  this  door  by  telling  me  that  they  could  sniff  my  game.  By  the  way,  not  
only  was  it  not  where  anybody  could  see  it,  but  I  wasn't  totally  where  I  was  doing  
it  and  they  told  me  that  they  loved  me  for  what  was  true  about  me,  not  what  I  
was  pretending  was  true  about  me.    

I  was  forced  through  this  door.  That's  the  truth.  I  wasn't  so  cool  that  I  found  my  
way  to  it.  How  you  could  be  so  cool  that  you  could  find  your  own  way  to  it  is  to  
simply  ask  yourself  the  question,  “Would  I  rather  expertly  play  a  game  that  is  
acceptable  to  others?  Am  I  willing  to  go  on  doing  that?  Or  will  I  fucken  make  a  
stand  for  what's  true  about  me  and  only  accept  the  love  of  people  who  love  me  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
for  what's  real  about  myself?”  I  mean  this  amongst  your  friends,  your  family,  and  
your  lovers.    

Now  it  is  possible  that  you  are  willing  to  be  accepted  for  a  game  you  play  to  get  
laid  on  Saturday  night.  That's  fine.  You're  not  a  bad  person.  Women  do  it.  Men  do  
it.  People  want  sex.  It's  fine.  You  don't  need  to  judge  yourself.  Now  what'  true  
about  you  is  that  you're  a  person  who  will  do  that  and  that's  a  vulnerable  truth  to  
admit  and  that's  okay.  I'm  that  person.  I've  done  it.  I'm  not  proud  of  it.  I'm  a  little  
bit  ashamed  of  it,  but  I  know  that  it's  human  and  I  can  accept  it  in  myself.    

So  from  that  place  I  am  unwilling  to  have  a  real  relationship,  a  friendship,  or  a  
love  based  on  what  I  have  become  skilled  at  playing.  I  require  of  my  friends  that  
they  love  me  for  who  I  really  am.  To  get  that,  I'm  going  to  have  to  tell  them  who  I  
really  am.  With  all  my  flaws  and  all  my  fears  and  all  my  insecurities.  When  you  get  
to  the  point  where  you'll  accept  nothing  less,  than  you  can  begin  taking  the  first  
steps.  The  first  steps  really  are  noticing  in  yourself  the  things  that  you're  secretive  
about,  ashamed  of,  hope  nobody  finds  out.  That  thing  that  you  lied  about  years  
ago  and  have  been  living,  tell  somebody  that  you  lied  about  it.    

The  thing  that  you're  most  afraid  of  and  then  top  truth  it.  How  far  can  you  go?  
Find  those  things.  There's  a  secret  here.  There's  something  I'm  kind  of  renascent  
to  tell  you  because  this  is  really  …  If  you  play  this  game  ...  Like  I  just  want  to  say,  
do  this  for  a  while  and  you'll  notice  people  are  more  attracted  to  you.    

You'll  have  better  friends  and  more  women  are  going  to  be  interested  in  really  
wanting  to  be  with  you,  and  you  won’t  be  thinking  to  yourself  obsessively,  "Is  she  
going  to  be  with  somebody  else?"  Well,  that  conversation  goes  away  because  it's  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
real.  You  know  you're  telling  each  other  the  truth.  It's  like  the  whole  conversation  
disappear.    

So  the  jealousy  disappears.  It  all  disappears.  But  the  little  thing  I'm  not  telling  you  
is  that  his  is  going  to  explode  you.  It's  going  to  burn  you  down.  It's  going  to  
remake  you  like  the  phoenix.  You  will  be  the  person  you  don't  even  know  you  are  
yet.  The  truth  is  that  as  you  begin  to  play  this  vulnerability  game,  what  you  
discover  is  not  where  you've  been  lying  to  other  people.    

What  you  openly  discover  is  where  you've  been  lying  to  yourself  and  you  didn't  
fucken  know  it.  You  were  so  genius  about  how  you  lied  to  yourself.  You  were  so  
genius.  You  covered  your  tracks  so  brilliantly  that  your  conscious  mind  never  
suspected  what  a  fucken  wackadoo  you  are.    

Then  when  you  get  to  that  place,  when  you  get  to  being  the  truth  of  your  wacky,  
delightful,  individual,  completely  authentic  expression  of  the  authentic  unice,  
you're  a  different  person.  You're  a  powerful  person.  You're  powerful  and  self-­‐
fulfilled  in  ways  that  you  just  can't  get  until  you  play.  It  remakes  you.    

I  don't  want  to  make  the  grandiose  promise  because  I'm  afraid  it  kind  of  makes  it  
less  playable,  but  this  is  a  playable  game.  This  is  a  playable  game.  You'll  get  
instant  results.  The  results  come  fast  at  the  beginner  level,  but  something  really  
wacky  happens  in  there.  Like  something  transformational.  You  will  burn  yourself  
down  in  the  most  beautiful  way.    

So  someone  in  the  audience  asked  me  “what  if  you  do  not  have  the  people  
around  you  to  actually  speak  to  these  issues  with?”  People  often  don’t  have  many  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
male  figures  around  them,  so  they  find  that  in  these  moments  they  sometimes  
don't  know  what  to  do  and  stuff.    

I  want  to  get  clear  that  what  you’re  doing  right  now  in  being  vulnerable  is  
intensely  courage  and  attractive  to  every  other  person  in  the  world.  This  is  in  real-­‐
time.  You're  seeing  it.  This  is  a  guy  showing  that  he's  got  the  balls  to  tell  the  truth.  
It's  delicious  to  everyone  else.  It  gives  us  permission  to  talk  about  the  shit  that  
we're  a  little  bit  ashamed  of,  right?    

Now,  look  around  you  because  here  we  are.  Here  are  the  men.  Here  we  are.  
We're  the  ones  playing  that  game.  We're  the  ones  vulnerable  enough  to  come  in  
here  and  talk  about  this  stuff.  Here  we  are.    

For  somebody  who's  watching  this  at  home  gets  that.  They're  like,  "I  don't  have  a  
fucken  person  in  my  life  like  that."  Know  that  that  is  the  nature  of  culture  in  
America  today.  That  according  to  the  latest  studies  the  average  person  has  .3  best  
friends.    

Meaning  that  more  than  half  the  people,  more  than  half  the  people  who  took  the  
survey  said,  "I  don’t  have  a  best  friend."  Right?  “I  don't  have  somebody  I  can  
really  fucken  trust  balls  to  the  wall.”  That's  most  people.  That's  the  truth  of  
America  today  and  probably  a  lot  of  the  rest  of  the  world.    

So  mission  one  is  to  find  a  man  you  can  look  in  the  eye  and  tell  the  truth  to  who  
you  know  will  tell  you  the  truth  back  and  won't  blow  smoke  up  your  ass.  The  
beautiful  thing  about  the  first  kind  of  throw  it  out  there  to  the  barber  or  the  
chatroom  or  the  whatever,  is  that  you  being  to  exercise  the  muscle.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
Well,  it's  not  the  end  it's  the  beginning.  The  end  is  being  able  to  look  at  somebody  
you  love  like  your  mom  and  tell  her  the  truth  about  something  that's  scary  to  say.  
By  the  way,  I  bring  up  parents,  mom,  dad,  because  these  are  vulnerable  
relationship  that  if  you  get  them  right  will  serve  you  powerfully  in  life.    

The  single  most  important  relationship  you'll  ever  have  is  going  to  be  the  
relationship  with  your  lover  if  you  have  it.  It's  kind  of  like  best  friends.  People  
have  .3  of  them.  In  this  case,  I'm  going  to  say  the  numbers  probably  tragically  
much  lower.  Much,  much  lower,  but  the  capacity  for  you  to  grow  yourself  in  
relation  to  others  versus  sitting  alone,  no  comparison.  Step  one  is  find  the  man  
that  you  can  trust.  Find  the  brothers.  And  I'd  start  in  this  room.  I'd  start  in  this  
room.  I'd  get  some  emails  and  I'd  give  you  mine.    

Like,  really  because  you  just  said  something  that  pulled  me,  right?  Because  you  
were  real.  That's  the  shit  right  there,  right?  But  the  more  you  do  it,  the  more  you  
show  up  at  a  deeper  level,  like  I  said,  the  results  come  fast  and  early.  It's  a  game  I  
invite  you  to  experiment  with.  Play,  play  and  see  what  happens,  but  they're  in  this  
room  right  now.  Look  left.  Look  right.  These  are  the  men.  These  are  men.  

In  relationship  with  others,  is  in  relationship  with  the  universe,  right?  These  are  all  
manifestations  of  what  the  universe  is  throwing  to  you.  Everything  from  
moonlight  to  a  conversation  we're  having  is  your  interaction  with  the  other  
person  with  duality,  which  eventually  when  we  get  too  spooky,  but  you  being  to  
realize  is  you  that  that's  the  distinction  you  begin  to  make.  That  other  humans  are  
you.  That  they  have  the  same  insecurities  and  the  same  layers  of  stuff.  Identical  at  
the  core  and  it's  revelatory.  Yeah?  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       ALEX ALLMAN
 
Earlier  someone  mentioned  that  people  are  closed  off  in  every  aspect  of  their  life.  
They  wanted  to  know  how  to  deal  with  that?  I  believe  that  you  need  to  use  
intelligence.  I  would  deal  with  it  in  a  mature  way.  This  stuffs  addictive  by  the  way.  
Like  I  said,  the  results  come  fast  early.  The  value  of  your  question  is  a  good  one  
because  it's  good  warning.  When  you  begin  becoming  vulnerable,  there's  a  
temptation  to  just  start  doing  it  everywhere  all  the  time.  You  get  excited  about  it  
because  it  works  so  well.    

It  makes  people  like  ya.  And  a  lot  of  people  overcorrect  and  become  weird  for  a  
little  while  with  it.  Then  they  find  their  way  back.  So  I'll  give  you  a  warning  up  
front  that  it's  having  privacy,  having  some  boundary  where  you  share  your  
internal  world,  the  people  you  share  it  with,  and  the  people  you  don't  is  totally  
appropriate.  It  may  not  be  appropriate  in  your  workplace.    

What  I  do  for  a  living,  the  more  vulnerable  I  can  be,  the  stronger  my  message  is  
going  to  be.  The  same  for  Christian.  The  more  he  can  really  dig  out  what  his  stuff  
is  or  was,  the  more  he  can  serve  you,  right?  The  more  he  can't  recall  what  it  was  
to  be  nervous  around  women,  the  less  he  can  serve  you.  But  that’s  not  true  in  
every  profession,  right?  Stockbroker  doesn't  need  it.  It's  not  the  place  for  it.  “I  just  
need  to  know  right  now,  do  you  think  I  should  buy  this  shit  because  it's  selling  at  
this  much  a  share.”  I  don't  need  to  hear  about  your  vulnerabilities.    

It's  not  appropriate.  It's  not  the  right  place  for  it.  So  I  would  be  mature,  judicious,  
and  trust  yourself.  Really  trust  yourself.  You'll  know.  When  you  put  it  up  against  
the  ratio  of  self-­‐trust  and  not  the,  "Alex  said  I  should  be  vulnerable,  but  what  do  I  
think?"  You  can  always  trust  yourself.  Always.  100%  of  the  time,  guaranteed.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 

CHAPTER 8: DAVID ON DOMINANCE

What  women  are  looking  for  is  dominance.    I’m  talking  about  dominance  from  the  
second  you  meet  them.    Not  passive.    It’s  amazing;  because,  if  you  think  about  it,  
we’re  wired  as  cavemen  and  cavewoman.    If  you  got  back  to  the  time,  okay  man  is  
a  man,  woman  is  a  woman.      
 
Man  goes  into  the  cave  at  the  end  of  the  day,  brings  a  Saber  Tooth  Tiger  by  his  
hand.    Looks  at  a  woman.    The  woman  wants  to  be  thrown  down  on  that  stone  
bed  and  times  have  not  changed.    I  don’t  care  how  dominant  women  are  in  the  
business  world.    I  don’t  care  if  they’ve  got  a  boss  that’s  this  ball  busting  woman  or  
whatever  it  is.      
 
I  don’t  care  if  the  woman  who  showed  you  a  condo  is  this  dominant  woman.    
Every  woman  wants  to  be  dominated  right  from  the  very  get-­‐go.    That’s  our  role  
as  a  man.    The  problem  is  we  live  in  a  very  passive  society.      
 
Men  don’t  know  what  to  do  or  when  to  do  it.    It’s  shall  I  send  a  text?    Shall  I  call  
her?    When  should  I  ask  her  out?    How  should  I  ask  her  out?    What  should  I  do  on  
the  first  date,  and  it  shows.    Fear  shows.    We’re  animals.    That’s  all  we  are.    We  
are  animals.    We  walk  around  and  we  give  out  energy  to  each  other,  right  from  
the  get-­‐go.      
 
Life  is  just  energy  and  that’s  it.    When  you  approach  a  woman  for  the  very  first  
time  and  you  look  at  her.    If  it  triggers  off  in  your  brain,  like  this  that  you  like  her.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
Immediately,  you’re  here  and  she’s  here.    How  do  you  like  somebody?    How  do  
you  physically  like  somebody?    How  do  you  emotionally  like  somebody?    
 How  do  you  mentally  like  somebody  you’ve  never  talked  to  before?    All  it  is  is  
your  penis  transmitting  to  your  little  brain  up  there;  because,  the  penis  has  a  
bigger  brain,  right?    Obviously.    The  penis  going,  oh  my  God,  we’ve  got  to  get  this.    
I’ve  got  to  tap  into  that  thing.    Man,  I  like  her.      
 
Because,  if  you  think  about  it,  99%  of  the  women  that  you  approach  in  your  life,  
99%  of  them  you  will  never  see  again  in  any  romantic  light.    Ninety-­‐nine  percent.    
That’s  what  the  odds  of  life  are.    You’re  looking  for  that  1%.    To  me  that’s  huge.    
One  percent,  that’s  great.    Some  of  you  guys  might  think  to  yourself,  like  1%,  shit,  
that’s  not  enough.    I  want  like  10%.      
 
One  percent  to  me  is  perfect.    Because,  we  live  in  a  world  where  there’s  so  many  
people  out  there  and  there’s  so  many  men  that  are  not  dominant.    The  number  
one  complaint  and  I’ve  been  coaching  women  too  for  15  years  is  that  men  aren’t  
dominant.  
 
Where  are  the  real  men?    Where  are  the  men  that  are  going  to  claim  me?    You  
hear  this  all  the  time.    All  the  stupid  romantic  comedies  is  about  a  woman  being  
claimed.    The  guy  did  the  right  thing  at  the  right  moment.    You  think  about  it,  if  
you  break  down  that  script,  that  right  thing  was  absolutely  nothing  except  using  
voice  tonality,  body  language  and  owning  her  from  the  get-­‐go.    How  do  you  go  
and  do  this?    How  do  you  make  somebody  your  girlfriend  from  the  get-­‐go  and  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
that’s  something  you  need  to  think  about.    With  every  woman  you  approach  she  
could  be  a  potential  girlfriend.  
 
She  could  be  somebody  that  you’re  going  to  be  sleeping  with.    Somebody  that  
you  might  marry.    Somebody  who  might  be  the  mother  of  your  kids.    Somebody  
who  might  give  you  best  sex  of  your  life  for  the  next  25  years  if  you  believe  in  
that,  or  the  next  25  minutes  whatever  you  want  to  do.      
 
The  plain  and  simple  is  that  if  you  don’t  approach  her  with  authority  and  
dominance  right  from  the  get-­‐go,  you  will  lose  her  interest  right  away.    It’s  not  the  
words  you  say,  it’s  the  tonality  of  your  voice.    When  you  walk  over  to  a  woman  it’s  
the  way  you  look  at  her  and  you  want  to  claim  her  with  your  eyes.  
 
One  of  the  best  mindset  tricks  that  I  do  with  guys  all  the  time  is  this.    If  you  see  a  
woman  and  you  think  you  like  her,  immediately  don’t  approach  her.    Don’t  
approach  her;  because,  you’re  showing  weakness.    Because,  if  you  like  somebody  
before  you  approach  them,  think  about  the  power  trip  in  that,  right?    
   
I  like  you,  I  don’t  know  if  you  like  me.    Think  about  what  you’re  doing.    You’re  
asking  to  be  liked.    You  asking  to  be  like  me,  like  me  please,  please  like  me.    You  
go  over  and  you’re  not  the  dominant  person  that  you  are.    You’re  not  strong.      
You’re  not  coming  from  a  sense  of  conviction.    You’re  not  like  this  beast,  this  
mountain,  this  dominant  guy  that  she’s  looking  for.    You’re  weak;  because  you’re  
going  up  to  her  and  you’re  saying,  like  me.    I  like  you.    I  want  you.    I  like  you.    Why  
won’t  you  like?    I  need  to  say  something  that’s  going  to  be  clever.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
 
I  need  to  say  something  that’s  going  to  be  smart.    I  need  to  do  something  right  
here.    This  is  what  triggers  off  in  every  single  male  brain.    Whenever  a  guy  comes  
to  me  whenever  I’m  coaching,  they  say,  I  like  this  girl.    I  want  to  go  talk  to  her.    
You  don’t  like  her.  
 
She  can  have  really  bad  breath.    She  can  have  a  yeast  infection  so  bad,  that  
Budweiser  won’t  even  use  her  to  brew  beer.    There’s  so  many  things  that  can  be  
going  on  down  there,  you  don’t  have  no  idea.    She  can  have  herpes.    She  can  be  a  
bitch.    Her  last  boyfriend  she  dominated.    She  could  be  bad  in  bed.    She  hasn’t  
blown  a  guy  in  her  entire  life.      
 
You’re  going  to  beg  for  sex  every  day,  but  you  have  this  visual  imprint  in  your  
brain  that  you  like  her.    In  reality  you  don’t  like  her.    You  are  the  man.    You’re  the  
man.    You’re  the  gift.    You’re  going  to  rescue  her  from  her  shit  life.      
You’re  going  to  rescue  her  from  being  single  and  having  to  deal  with  all  the  idiots  
on  Match.com  that  breathe  down  her  neck  every  single  day.    You’re  the  guy  that’s  
going  to  rescue  her  from  all  the  drunken  guys  that,  those  frat  boys  that  are  out  on  
every  Friday  and  Saturday  night.    Drunk  as  can  be.    Walking  and  looking  at  her  like  
they  haven’t  eaten  in  25  years.      
 
They  always  look  and  go,  “Hey  Sal,  hey  you,  man  look  at  her.    Man  I  could  go  do  
her.”    No,  you  can’t.    Because,  if  you  could  do  her,  you’d  be  talking  to  her  and  you  
wouldn’t  be  elbowing  your  buddy.    You’re  going  to  rescue  her  from  her  annoying  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
friends  that  are  in  these  beautiful  relationships  and  they  don’t  want  to  hear  it  
anymore.  
 
You’re  the  rescuer.    You’re  the  prince,  that’s  what  they’re  looking  for.    Women  
are  looking  for  their  Prince  Charming.    They’re  looking  for  this  guy,  this  guy  that’s  
going  to  rescue  them,  that’s  going  to  give  them  their  dream;  because,  women  are  
fantasy  driven.      
 
You  ask  women  all  the  time,  what  they  describe  marriage  and  it’s  never  the  
version  we  describe  it  at.    Women  have  planned  their  marriage  out  since  Barbie  
and  Ken  started  making  out  in  the  box  at  five-­‐years-­‐old.    Since  Barbie  took  Ken’s  
hand  and  they  started  walking  there.    Women  want  to  be  claimed.    Men  don’t  
know  how  to  do  it.  
 
When  you  walk  over  to  a  woman  for  the  very  first  time,  think  of  it,  I  own  you.    I  
own  your  pussy.    Your  pussy’s  mine  man.    Nobody  and  this  is  the  mentality  I  
always  give.    You  have  to  think  of  this  and  visualize  it.    Close  your  eyes  and  
visualize  this.    No  guy  is  going  to  give  you  an  orgasm  bigger  than  I  can  ever  give  
you.    That’s  what  I  think  about  all  the  time.      
 
When  I  walk  over  to  a  woman,  I  claim  her;  because,  you  have  to  unlock  that  
sexual  energy.    That’s  what  we  need  to  unlock.    I’ve  seen  so  many  guys  walk  with  
zero  sexual  energy.    None  whatsoever.    They  walk  around.    They  don’t  know  how  
to  turn  it  on  and  the  women  walk  away,  like  oh  okay.      
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
That’s  why  they’re  always  throwing  that  friend  zone.    That  dreaded  zone.    You  
know  that  awful  zone,  it’s  like  the  end  zone.    You  have  all  these  women  there.    
You’re  on  the  20  yard  line  and  you  think  you’re  about  to  go  out  and  go  in  and  
hangout  with  her  and  give  her  a  kiss.    The  next  thing  you  know,  you’re  thrown  
back  in  the  end  zone  again  and  there  you  are  in  that  friend  zone  box.    That  awful  
box.    That  box  that  you  just  seem  to  get  stuck  in  over  and  over  again;  because,  
you  haven’t  turned  on  the  sexual  energy.      
 
When  I  walk  over  to  a  woman  I  look  at  her  like  I’m  going  to  eat  her,  literally.    I  
look  at  her  like  I’m  going  to  get  her  naked,  spread  her  legs  wide  and  fucking  taste  
her  and  see  exactly  what  she’s  all  about.    She’s  mine  and  I  turn  it  on.    I  look  at  her  
right  in  her  eyes.    I  pierce  her  eyes.    I  don’t  hesitate.      
 
My  eye  contact  is  so  strong;  because,  I  want  to  know  she  can  stand  up  to  me.    I  
want  her  to  know  she’s  in  the  presence  of  a  dominant  person.    If  you  think  about  
what  women  desire,  look  at  all  these  scrawny  rock  stars  that  women  throw  
themselves  at.    Look  at  these  athletes  that  they  know  are  idiots  that  women  
throw  themselves  at.  
 
Look  at  all  the  politicians  with  their  bad  comb  overs,  but  yet  they  have  affairs  with  
the  most  beautiful  women  in  the  world.    Look  at  these  little  nerdy  business  men  
that  women  are  craving;  because,  women  crave  dominance  and  power.    Every  
guy  has  that.    That’s  what  you’re  about.    That’s  what  being  a  man  is  all  about.      
A  man  is  being  about  being  dominant,  being  powerful,  being  dynamic.    If  you  
want  her  to  blow  off  every  other  guy  she’s  seeing  and  to  become  your  girlfriend,  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
she’s  got  to  see  you  as  that  guy  that  none  of  the  rest  of  the  guys  are.    That’s  what  
I  love;  because,  to  me  the  world  is  not  competitive.    The  world  is  full  of  passive  
people.  
 
Because,  if  everybody  was  dominant  and  everybody  was  aggressive  and  
everybody  was  secure  and  everybody  was  strong,  guess  what  would  happen?    It  
would  become  competitive.    To  me  I  don’t  look  like  it’s  competitive  at  all.    Most  
guys  are  so  passive,  it’s  great.    When  I  walk  over  to  a  woman.    I  walk  over  and  say  
your  pussy’s  mine.    It’s  in  my  head  and  I  do  it.    I  look  at  that  and  I  go  your  pussy’s  
mine.    I  can  play  with  you  better  than  everybody  else.    I  can  finger  you  better  than  
everybody  else  and  I  can  fuck  you  better  than  everybody  else.    I  think  about  that.      
 
If  you  think  about  owning  that.    You  think  about  owning  her,  you’re  going  to  turn  
her  on  so  much,  she’s  not  going  to  know  what’s  going  on.    You’re  going  to  have  
eye  contact.    You’re  going  to  talk  to  her.    You’re  going  to  listen  to  her.    You’re  
going  to  turn  her  on;  because,  it’s  all-­‐subliminal.    
 
Ninety  percent  of  what  you  do  is  all  in  your  body  language,  in  your  eye  contact,  in  
your  voice  tonality.    If  I  was  speaking  to  you  right  now  in  a  voice  tonality  like  this,  
you  now  when  you  go  and  meet  a  woman  and  if  you  just  own  her  pussy,  man  
that’s  what  you  need  to  do  dude.    Fucking  A  man,  just  own  her  pussy  like  you  own  
the  X-­‐box,  right?      
 
If  you  think  about  that  tonality,  if  I  didn’t  tonality,  guess  what?    You’d  be  bored.    
You’d  think  to  yourself,  really  man?    This  guy  can’t  get  laid.    There’s  no  way  in  the  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
world.    There’s  no  way.    There’s  no  way  in  the  world  he  could  dominate  a  woman.    
There’s  no  way  in  the  world  a  woman  is  going  to  see  him  as  dominant.    
 
Now,  I’m  not  talking  about  being  an  ass  hole;  because,  it’s  not  about  being  that.    
It’s  about  being  strong  and  having  a  conviction  and  all  of  you  have  it  in  your  DNA.    
All  of  you  have  it  in  your  genes.    When  I  look  at  men  I  see  a  man.    I  don’t  see  a  guy  
that’s  go  approach  anxiety  or  fear  or  the  last  girl  kicked  his  butt  too  much.  
I  look  at  him  as  a  man.    A  man  that  could  claim  a  woman.    When  you  walk  up  to  
every  woman  this  way,  you’re  going  to  be  head  and  shoulders  above  every  single  
guy  that’s  out  there.    You’re  going  to  be  the  guy  that  she’s  going  to  look  at  and  
say  to  herself,  this  is  a  real  man.    How  many  times  do  you  get  sick  of  meeting  a  
woman?      
 
You  text  her.    You’ve  done  everything  you  think  is  right  and  then  all  of  a  sudden  
she  flakes.    They  flake;  because,  it’s  what  they  perceive  you  to  be  in  the  process  of  
how  they  met  you.    What  do  you  do?    How  do  you  do  this?    When  you  claim  
them,  you  need  to  claim  them  a  certain  way.  
 
You  look  at  them,  you  own  them,  you  think  to  yourself  I  own  your  pussy.    It’s  all  
mine.    I  can  play  with  you  better  than  anybody  else.    I  can  have  sex  with  you  
better  than  anybody  else.    It’s  mindset.    Life  is  mindset.    If  you  look  at  everything  
in  life,  you  look  at  Danny  Woodhead  who  plays  for  the  Patriots.    He  used  to  play  
for  the  Patriots,  now  he’s  with  the  Chargers.    The  guy’s  a  midget.    He’s  5’5”  and  
145  pounds,  but  he’s  playing  in  the  NFL,  mindset.    Life  is  mindset.    Everything  in  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
life  is  belief.    If  you  believe  in  yourself,  she’s  going  to  believe  in  you.    It  sells.    It’s  
marketing.      
 
When  you  go  to  a  car  dealership  and  you  walk  up  to  the  salesman.    I  can  go  to  
seven  car  dealerships  before  I  finally  find  the  salesman  that  actually  believes  in  
the  product  and  believes  in  himself.    I’m  going  to  buy  from  him.    I’m  going  to  buy  
the  car,  but  I’ll  go  to  seven  Audi  dealerships  just  to  find  the  one  guy  that  I  feel  
secure  with.      
 
That’s  what  people  are  looking  for.    That  secure  feeling  and  that’s  what  women  
are  looking  for.    They  want  to  feel  so  secure  around  you.    When  you  walk  over  to  
her,  if  you  want  this  woman  to  be  your  potential  girlfriend.    You  don’t  hesitate.    
You  don’t  look  like  a  child  molester  in  the  background,  like  playing  mental  
masturbation  inside  your  brain.  
 
Looking  around  and  going  my  god,  should  I  talk  to  her?    She  sees  that.    Trust  me,  
she  feels  it.    Every  time  you  don’t  approach  and  I  literally  say  if  you  don’t  
approach  her  in  seven  seconds  or  less,  you’re  done.    If  you  see  a  woman,  you  look  
at  her  and  you  say  to  yourself,  this  woman  could  be  my  potential  girlfriend.      
I’m  going  to  go  over  there  and  I’m  going  to  claim  her.    You  walk  over  and  you  say  
whatever  is  on  your  mind.    I  don’t  care  what  it  is.    Nice  day  out  today  or  wow  
those  are  really  cool  shoes,  or  have  enthusiasm  in  your  voice.    Man,  are  you  
eating  that  muffin?    I  wouldn’t  eat  these  muffins  here.  
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
Have  an  opinion.    Be  strong,  be  strong  in  your  conviction.    Hello,  is  one  of  the  
most  powerful  words  in  the  entire  world.    I  have  met  so  many  girlfriends  by  
uttering  the  word  hello.    Hey,  how  you  doing  today?    But  mean  it,  mean  it.    Be  
authentic.    Be  real,  mean  it,  feel  it.    Feel  the  words  that  you’re  saying.    Don’t  think  
about  what  you’re  saying,  just  say  what’s  on  your  mind.      
 
That  way  she’ll  know  that  she’s  with  a  guy  that’s  a  predominantly  dominant  guy.    
When  you  talk  to  her  you  listen  to  her;  because,  all  women  want  what?    They  
want  to  be  listened  to.    They  want  to  think  of  you  as  a  potential  boyfriend.    The  
man  that’s  going  to  rescue  them  from  the  perils  of  Match.com,  from  the  drunken  
wolves  out  on  a  Friday  night.      
 
From  the  annoying  friend  that’s  kicking  her  butt  all  the  time,  asking  her  why  she’s  
still  single.    Listen  to  her.    Pick  up  things  about  her.    Learn  three  things  about  
every  woman  you  talk  to  in  the  first  minute  or  less.    Two  minutes,  three  minutes;  
however,  long  you  talk  to  her  for.      
 
When  you  learn  something  about  her,  you  close  her;  because,  you  think  of  it,  that  
this  woman  can  be  a  potential  girlfriend  for  me.    She  can  be  somebody  that  I  can  
be  with.    She  can  be.    That’s  what  every  encounter  is  all  about,  right?    If  you  think  
about  it,  deep  down  we  approach  every  single  woman  hoping  that  maybe  this  is  
the  last  woman  we  ever  approach.      
 
We  would  all  like  to  fall  in  love;  because,  it’s  a  great  feeling.    We’d  all  like  to  have  
a  girlfriend.    We’d  all  like  to  have  this  great  relationship  we’ve  not  had  before.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
We  want  to  have  a  better  relationship  than  the  last  one;  because,  we  learn  so  
much  about  ourselves.    When  you  do  that  and  you  ask  her  out,  you  want  to  claim  
her.      
 
You  want  to  stake  your  claim,  literally.    You  want  to  tell  her  that  she’s  in  the  
position  of  a  very  dominant,  strong  powerful  man.    I’ll  look  her  right  in  the  eyes  
and  I’ll  close  her  with  information  I  get;  because,  information  is  key.    A  woman  
wants  one  thing  and  one  thing  only  and  your  mother  taught  you  this  lesson  when  
you  were  a  kid.  
 
You  mother  always  said,  “Why  don’t  you  listen  to  me?    I’m  always  telling  you  to  
clean  your  room,  how  come  you  don’t  listen?”    If  you  listen  to  women,  women  
will  do  everything  for  you.    Sometimes  I  know  it’s  painful;  because,  some  of  the  
stuff  they  talk  about  is  just  brutal.      
 
Like  you  really  could  care  less  about  the  friend  at  work,  the  controversy  over  the  
water  fountain  and  everything  else,  but  plain  and  simple  remember  things.    The  
more  you  remember  the  greater  it’s  going  to  be  for  you  to  claim  her  as  a  
girlfriend.    When  I  ask  her  out,  let’s  say  I  met  her  at  Starbucks  and  there  was  
coffee.      
 
We  talked  about  it,  I  don’t  drink  coffee,  but  I  remember  this  one  cup  of  coffee  and  
I  share  stories  all  the  time;  because,  life  is  about  sharing  a  little  bit  about  yourself;  
because,  a  predominantly  dominant  guy  has  no  problem  sharing  something  about  
himself;  because,  he  knows  he’s  interesting.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
 
He  knows  that  he’s  shared  his  life  experience  and  no  matter  what  age  you’re  at,  
you  all  have  different  levels  of  life  experience  to  share,  but  you’re  dating  women  
in  the  same  age  range  that  will  actually  enjoy  the  life  experience  you  have  to  
share.    Being  older  is  great;  because,  I  can  date  them  all;  because,  I’ve  got  more  
life  experience  than  all  of  them.  
 
I  can  just  wow  them  with  stories  all  day  long,  but  use  your  stories.    If  I  meet  a  
woman  in  a  coffee  shop  and  she’s  drinking  this  coffee,  I  say,  uh,  this  coffee  at  
Starbucks  stinks.    It’s  nothing  like  the  Italian  Roast  that  I  had  when  I  was  in  Rome  
and  I  create  a  story.    When  I  was  in  Rome  and  I  was  walking  around  the  Coliseum,  
I  had  to  go  have  a  cup  of  coffee.    I’m  never  a  coffee  person.    When  you  do  your  
stories,  practice  your  stories.    Actually  stand  in  front  of  a  mirror  and  see  how  you  
deliver  it.    When  I  was  in  Rome,  is  there  enthusiasm?    Are  you  smiling?    What’s  
your  eye  contact  like?  
 
Look  at  yourself  in  the  mirror  and  say  to  yourself,  when  I  was  in  Rome,  look  at  
yourself.    See  what  it  is.    How  do  you  feel?    If  you  were  talking  to  you,  would  you  
be  excited?    Would  you  be  mentally  turned  on?    Would  you  be  emotionally  
turned  on?    Really  important  things  to  do.    Then  when  you  look  at  her  and  you’re  
talking  about  the  coffee.      
 
You  look  at  her  afterwards  and  you  say,  you  know  what,  screw  Starbucks.    I’ve  got  
this  great  little  place,  I’m  going  to  take  you  there.    You  and  I  are  going  out.    Give  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
me  your  number.    Give  me.    Don’t  ask  if  she’s  single.    God,  you  wanted  her  to  be  
your  girlfriend,  you  never  ask  if  she’s  single.  
 
I  presumed  every  woman  out  there  is  single  or  even  if  they’re  not  single  they  still  
want  a  real  man.    I  always  presume.    Give  me  your  number  is  a  power  command.    
Give  me  your  number.    Give  it  to  me.    Just  like  we  say  on  our  voice  mail  message,  
leave  a  message.    People  like  to  be  told  what  to  do.    Women  love  to  be  told  what  
to  do.      
 
They’re  looking  for  a  guy  that’s  going  to  tell  them  exactly  what  to  do.    Give  me  
your  number.    Give  it  to  me  without  your  stupid  phone.    Hand  it  to  her  and  go  you  
know  what  I’m  an  idiot.    I  love  this.    I  use  this  all  the  time.    God,  I’m  an  idiot  with  
these  things.      
 
I  just  can  never  figure  out.    Just  punch  it  in.    They’ll  go  and  they’ll  punch  it  in.    
Have  something  really  cute  on  your  home  screen  that  shows  something  
emotional.    I’ve  got  my  daughter  on  my  home  screen.    Is  that  your  daughter?    Yes,  
it  is.    She’s  so  adorable.      
 
Have  something  that  allows  her  to  see  who  you  are.    Not  a  picture  of  your  car.    
Not  a  picture  of  your  favorite  football  team,  but  something  emotional.    Maybe  a  
picture  of  your  dog  or  a  family  shot  or  whatever  it  is.    This  is  going  to  create  an  
emotion;  because,  she’s  going  to  see  you  as  a  family  guy.      
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
She’s  going  to  see  you  as  a  guy  that  can  have  relationships.    She’s  going  to  see  you  
as  a  guy  that  is  rock  solid  and  stable.    It’s  a  great  little  trick.    Hand  her  that  little  
phone.    She’ll  punch  it  in.    She’ll  see  it  and  in  her  brain  she’ll  be  like  oh  my  God,  
look  at  this  guy.    Look  at  his  niece.    
 
He  loves  his  niece.    You  can  put  the  most  candid  picture  in  the  world  of  you  
holding  your  niece  up  in  the  air  like  this  and  your  niece  smiling  and  you  kissing  
her.    Pick  the  picture  that  will  create  an  emotion;  because,  you’re  leaving  her  with  
an  emotion  from  the  get-­‐go.    You  want  to  trigger  this  woman’s  emotions  right  
from  the  get-­‐go,  so  you  can  dominate  her  right  from  the  get-­‐go  and  take  her  
down  that  path  that  she  wants.  
 
Then  when  you  say  give  me  your  number,  you  get  her  number.    Then  what  I  do  is  I  
literally  count,  I  do  things  very  different.    Two  or  three  hours  later  I  will  text  her.    
Something  from  the  conversation  that  we  had  in  that  coffee  shop  or  in  that  bar,  
or  at  that  grocery  store.    I  will  text  her  and  say,  “How’s  that  awful  cup  of  coffee  
you  had  .  .  .      
 
Looking  forward  to  that  Italian  Roast,  smiley  face.”    I  always  put  smiley  faces  in  for  
one  reason  and  one  reason  only.    I  don’t  want  my  texts  misinterpreted.    I  use  
exclamation  points  when  I  need  to.    I  smile  when  I  need  to;  because,  I  don’t  want  
her  to  show  her  friends  and  assume  that  maybe  something  else  is  going  on.  
I  don’t  get  sexual  right  from  the  get-­‐go.      
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
There’s  no  reason  to;  because,  if  you  are  full  of  body  language,  meaning  your  
shoulders  are  erect.    Your  eye  contact  is  great.    Your  voice  tonality  is  strong.    She’s  
going  to  be  turned  on.    I  don’t  use  sexual  innuendos  to  turn  her  on  from  the  get-­‐
go;  because,  that’s  fucking  creepy  man,  creepy  stuff  when  guys  do  that.    
 
I  don’t  send  her  sexual  texts;  because,  I’m  in  command.    Remember,  when  you’re  
driving  the  car;  because,  that’s  all  women  want.    When  you  drive  that  car  she  will  
get  sexual  with  you  quicker  than  you’ve  ever  imagined.      
 
Now  you  text  her  a  couple  of  hours  later;  because,  what  you’re  doing  is  you’re  
validating  in  her  brain,  that  this  was  a  right  decision,  to  put  your  phone  number,  
to  put  her  phone  number  in  your  phone.    Because,  a  lot  of  women  just  don’t  like  
to  put  their  numbers  in  there.    They’ve  met  you  for  two  minutes.    They’ve  met  
you  for  five  minutes.      
 
They  need  to  be  validated;  because,  that’s  what  women  are  all  about.    A  
dominant  guy  will  validate  a  woman.    Good  girl,  good  girl.    They  like  that.    Plus  
that,  they’ve  already  called  their  friends.    Trust  me,  they’ve  already  texted  their  
friends  and  their  friend  will  go,  ah,  remember  the  last  idiot  you  met  at  Starbucks.  
Remember  the  last  guy  that  picked  you  up  at  Whole  Foods.    He  never  called  you  
back;  because,  there’s  always  that  negative  Nellie,  that  girlfriend.    Man,  there’s  
cobwebs  down  there;  because,  nobody’s  allowed  down  there.    She’s  just  the  bitch  
of  all  bitches.      
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
What  she  does  is  she  drives  the  car  of  all  these  girls.    She  dominates;  because,  
she’s  so  miserable,  so  usually  she’ll  get  the  group  text.    She’ll  be  the  first  one  back  
and  going  remember  that  last  guy.    She’ll  throw  the  curve  ball.    Now  immediately  
you’re  thrown  under  that  bus.    You’ve  now  planted  doubt  in  a  woman’s  mind.  
You’re  thing  is  when  you  are  in  the  process  of  courting  a  woman  from  the  very,  
very  beginning,  you  want  to  erase  all  doubt,  all  the  time.    This  text  will  erase  the  
doubt;  because,  now  she’s  going  to  send  it  back,  see  look  how  cute  he  is.    Right  
now  in  her  brain  she’s  seen  the  picture  of  you  kissing  your  niece  or  holding  your  
dog  or  holding  a  puppy.      
 
It’s  got  to  be  something  emotional.    You’ve  sent  her  that  text.    You  started  the  
banter  going  back  and  forth.    You’re  following  through  like  most  guys  don’t  do.    
You’re  claiming  her.    Meanwhile  her  friend  now  goes,  well  let’s  just  see  what  
happens.      
 
Then  you’ve  got  a  little  text  banter,  okay  maybe  two  or  three  texts  going  back  and  
forth.    Then  at  the  end  go  listen.    Listen  is  a  great  term.    Love  the  term  listen.    
Listen  means  listen  up.    Listen.    Friday  night  this  coffee  place  is  hosting  a  speak  
easy,  or  there’s  a  band  playing  at  it.    We  can  go  get  some  Italian  coffee  and  listen  
to  this  music  Cancel  all  plans,  we’re  going.    Cancel  all  plans,  we’re  going.    
   
Very  dominant  once  again.    Listen  and  cancel  all  plans,  we’re  going.    First  off,  
women  they  have  all  these  plans  all  the  time,  but  when  you  tell  them  cancel,  all  
plans.    They  will  cancel  all  plans;  because,  they  want  that.    They  want  a  guy.    They  
also  want  a  guy  that’s  pursuing  them;  because,  it’s  what  it’s  all  about.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
 
Listen  is  a  great  terminology.    It’s  a  command.    It’s  a  command,  listen.    She’s  
listening.    Cancel  all  plans.    She  comes  back  to  you.    She  goes  oh  let  me  see  what  I  
can  do.    Then  I  always  come  back  and  go,  do  your  best;  because,  this  night  is  a  
night  that  you’re  really  going  to  appreciate  .  .  .    Always  .  .  .  afterwards.      
 
Nine  times  out  of  ten,  nine  times  out  of  ten,  if  you’ve  done  it  right,  she  will  cancer  
her  plans.    Now  if  she  can’t  cancel  the  plans,  she’ll  come  back  and  go  God,  I’m  so  
sorry.    It’s  my  friend’s  birthday.    I  can’t  do  it  Friday  night.    Then  instead  of  getting  
into  a  text  banter  with  her  write  once  again,  I’  need  15  seconds.    Pick  up  the  
phone.  
 
I’m  calling.    Send  that  text.    Count  15,  20  seconds.    Let  the  text  go  through.    Pick  
up  the  phone  and  just  go  like  this,  all  right,  your  friend’s  birthday  Friday  night,  
obviously  we  can’t  change  it;  because,  if  we  could  we  would,  laughing,  playful  
banter.    Luckily  for  you,  you  know  I  always  say  this  playfully,  luckily  for  you  this  
band’s  going  to  be  playing  a  couple  of  more  times.      
 
What  does  your  schedule  look  like  Saturday,  Sunday  or  Monday?    I  don’t  have  any  
friend’s  birthdays  throwing  her  friends  back  at  her  that  will  conflict  you  and  I  
hanging  out.    You  just  let  me  know  and  you  just  tell  me.    Immediately  she  will  give  
you  the  alternate  day,  you  secure  the  date.  
 
Really  important  and  you’re  using  her  words  back  at  her  and  you’re  being  
dominant  and  you’re  not  being  afraid.    What  do  most  guys  do  in  that  situation?    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
Once  they’ve  been  cancelled  upon?    They  go  weak.    They  go  oh  okay,  they  tend  to  
text  back,  okay,  just  let  me  know  what  works.    Weak  right?    You’re  telling  her,  
listen  we’re  hanging.    I  like  you.    I’m  interested  in  you.      
 
We’re  hanging.    She  loves  it.    She  gets  so  turned  on  by  this.    Now  when  you  go,  
you  meet  her.    You  don’t  need  to  text  her  that  much  in  between.    You  can  text  her  
Friday  night  when  she’s  out  with  her  friend;  because,  you  have  all  this  
information.  
 
Your  brain  does  not  work  very  well  and  you  can’t  remember  things.    Write  stuff  
down.    Keep  a  word  document  with  the  girls  that  you’re  dating  and  the  personal  
things  that  they  said  to  you.    Just  don’t  ever  let  them  see  it,  ever.    Password  
protect  all  your  devices  and  then  delete  the  word  document  when  she  becomes  
your  girlfriend.    Write  it  down.      
 
Send  her  a  text  on  Friday  night.    Wish  your  friend  a  happy  birthday.    Meanwhile,  
she’s  out  with  her  friends.    She’s  talking  about  the  potential  date  with  you  coming  
up,  even  though  she  might  be  dating  other  guys.    She’s  really  excited  about  you;  
because,  you’ve  used  command  words.  
 
You’re  turning  her  on.    You’re  dominant,  you’re  more  dominant  than  the  passive  
guy  that  she  just  had  a  booty  call  with,  that  drunk  texted  her.    You’re  going  to  
compete  with  a  couple  of  guys  in  the  beginning  usually,  so  you’re  going  to  send  
her  a  text  about  9:30,  10:00  at  night.    The  wine  has  kicked  in.      
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
The  conversations  have  kicked  in  and  strategically  you’re  going  to  look  at  her  and  
just  say,  “How’s  the  birthday  celebration  going?    Wish  your  friend  a  happy  
birthday  from  me  .  .  .”  That’s  it.    Just  plain  and  simple.    She’s  going  to  pass  the  
phone  around.    Look,  look,  look,  look  what  he  did.    Look  what  he  did.    Look  what  
he  did.    It’s  so  great.    Meanwhile,  the  guy  who  she’s  been  dating;  because,  there’s  
always  a  guy  that  she’s  dating.      
 
You’re  always  replacing  something  in  her  life.    The  guy  that  she’s  dating,  the  
booty  call  meanwhile  texts  her  at  midnight,  uh  what  are  you  up  to?    Caveman  
style.    Totally  non-­‐connecting  emotionally  whatsoever.    She’s  going  to  compare  
that  text,  to  the  one  that  you  sent  her.    You  care  about  her  friend’s  birthday.    This  
guy  just  wants  her  pussy.    Birthday,  pussy,  hmm,  which  one  is  she  going  to  go  
with?    She’s  now  going  to  blow  off  the  booty  call;  because,  she’s  feeling  really  
secure  about  something  that’s  brewing.    Now  when  you  go  and  get  her  and  you  
have  this  date,  you  listen  really  careful.  
 
You’re  very  interested  in  her  as  a  person.    You’re  not  afraid  to  share  personal  
stories.    Don’t  ever,  once  again  okay,  to  be  a  man  that’s  dominant,  a  man  that  
claims,  if  she  asks  you  and  they  will  probe.    Man,  they  are  just  little,  little,  little  
weasels  that  way.    Women  will  always  probe.    Tell  me  about  your  last  
relationship.      
 
This  is  where  you  get  the  dominant  powerful  man  territory.    Whatever  it  is,  
you’ve  got  a  story  about  it.    If  you  need  to  practice  that  story,  practice  it.    If  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
anything  negative  comes  out  of  your  mouth,  you’re  over,  you’re  done,  end  of  
story.    Conversation  done.    Girlfriend  potential  done.    Relationship  potential  done.      
I  always  look  at  it  this.    My  past  relationship;  because,  I  have  kid.      
 
I  always  tell  women,  my  past  relationship  was  absolutely  one  of  the  best  lessons  
I’ve  ever  learned  and  delivered  one  of  the  best  gifts  I’ve  ever  had  in  my  entire  life.    
I’ve  got  a  beautiful  daughter  now  that  I  share  with  a  woman  that  I  absolutely  love,  
that’s  my  really  good  friend,  but  as  a  couple  we  just  didn’t  know  how  to  make  it  
work  with  each  other.    
 
We  didn’t  understand  each  other’s  love  language.    Which  is  really  important.    If  
you  want  to  read  a  good  book,  read  the  Five  Love  Languages.    It’s  a  great  book;  
because,  it  teaches  you  how  you  want  to  be  loved  and  how  you  can  give  love  in  a  
relationship.  
 
It’s  a  really  powerful  read  for  a  lot  of  reasons;  because,  when  I  sit  here  and  I’m  
opposite  a  woman  and  she’s  probing.    She’s  trying  to  find  out  if  she  hangs  out  
with  you,  how  you’re  going  to  treat  her  after  the  potential  breakup.    In  her  mind,  
she’s  thinking,  how  is  this  going  to  go  down  if  we  don’t  work  out?    How  is  he  with  
his  ex’s?    I’m  always  positive  about  my  ex’s.      
 
My  ex  is  really  a  wonderful  person.    I  wish  her  lots  of  love.    I’m  going  away  on  a  
family  vacation  with  her.    I  think  she’s  amazing,  but  as  lovers  we’re  not  really  
good  for  one  another.    We  just  don’t  know  how  to  love  one  another  in  the  way  
that  we  need  to  love.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
 
You’re  opening  up  a  conversation  that  most  men  and  women  just  don’t  have  on  
that  first  date.    You’re  being  really,  really  positive.    She  might  say  to  you,  how  do  
you  like  to  be  loved?    Well,  you’ve  read  the  Five  Love  Languages,  you  just  look  at  
her  and  you  go,  well  you  know  what,  this  is  how  I  like  to  be  loved  in  a  relationship.    
I’m  a  giver.      
 
You  want  to  know  who  you  are  in  a  relationship.    If  you  don’t  know  who  you  are  
in  a  relationship,  how  are  you  going  to  have  a  relationship?    I’m  a  nurturing  
person,  so  I’ll  say,  I’m  very,  very  nurturing.    I’m  very  giving.    I’m  very  generous.      
I’ll  talk  about  how  I  am  and  what  I’m  about  and  what  I  really  love  and  how  I  like  to  
receive  love;  because,  I  have  really  done  a  lot  of  work  on  myself.    It’s  important;  
because,  to  me  a  relationship  is  a  gift.    A  relationship  gives  you  an  opportunity  to  
grow  more  than  you’ve  ever  grown  before.      
 
A  relationship  gives  you  an  opportunity  to  open  your  heart  space,  more  than  
you’ve  ever  opened  your  heart  space.    A  relationship  gives  you  an  opportunity  to  
connect  with  another  person  in  ways  you’ve  never  connected  before.    I  want  to  
know  if  this  woman  is  somebody  I  can  connect  with.      
 
It’s  something  that  a  lot  of  guys  don’t  do,  so  you’re  talking  very  positive  about  
your  ex.    A  lot  of  guys  will  go,  oh  man  that  ended  so  badly.    The  minute  you  say  
stuff  like  that,  you’re  done.    Ended  so  badly.    She’s  going  to  look  at  you  and  go  
well  you  ended  it  badly.    Everything  you’ve  ever  done  in  your  past  needs  to  be  
embraced.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
 
If  you’ve  got  issues  in  your  past  and  you’ve  got  a  relationship  that  broke  your  
heart,  or  you  have  somebody  that  burned  you  or  somebody  that  cheated  on  you  
or  somebody  that  stole  money  from  you,  write  them  a  letter.    Write  them  an  e-­‐
mail.    Send  out  a  long,  long  e-­‐mail.    Write  it  down  in  your  computer  and  never  
send  it.  
 
Forgive  somebody.    Actually  thank  people  in  your  life  that  have  come  into  your  
life  for  all  the  lessons  they’ve  given  you;  because,  this  is  what  a  woman  wants  to  
see,  an  emotionally  strong  man.    A  man  that’s  done  work  on  himself.    If  you  
haven’t  done  work  on  yourself,  you’re  going  to  go  back  into  the  position  of  being  
weak  again.      
 
When  you’re  in  the  position  of  being  weak,  she  doesn’t  want  to  be  your  girlfriend.    
She’s  already  been  with  weak.    She’s  already  been  with  the  broken  guy.    She’s  
already  been  with  a  guy  that  hasn’t  done  the  work  on  himself.    The  guy  that  
doesn’t  know  what  love  is  all  about.  
 
Whatever  stage  you’re  at  in  your  life,  figure  out  what  it  is;  because,  it  all  changes.    
What  love  was  to  me  in  my  20’s  is  a  lot  different  than  it  is  for  me  now.    The  
experience  that  I  have  with  a  woman  right  now  is  entirely  different  than  it  was  20  
years  ago.    Everything  changes,  so  your  answer  is  not  something  you’re  going  to  
be  graded  on,  but  your  answer  is  more  of  a  self-­‐awareness  and  that’s  what  
women  are  really  looking  for.    
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
A  man  that  is  self-­‐aware.    A  man  that’s  in  tune  with  himself;  because,  here’s  a  
woman  wondering  if  you’re  going  to  be  the  guy  that’s  going  to  take  him  away  
from  the  annoying  booty  call  guy.    The  drunken  frat  guys  on  a  Friday  night  that  
are  chasing  her.  
 
The  idiots  on  Match.com  that  post  pictures  of  themselves  that  are  ten  years  
younger  than  them.    It’s  like  being  set  up  by  their  grandmother  when  they  go  
down  to  Florida  on  vacation.    It’s  like  you’re  going  to  be  the  guy  that’s  going  to  
rescue  her  and  take  her.    She  wants  to  be  saved  from  this  awful  world  of  dating;  
because,  if  you  think  about  it,  dating  sucks.      
 
I  don’t  date  and  I’ll  talk  about  what  a  dominant  guy  does  and  how  a  dominant  guy  
dates.    I’m  not  a  dater.    I’m  not  somebody  who  goes,  I’m  dating  right  now.    We’re  
dating.    I  hate  dating.    That  terminology  is  do  dumb,  dating,  what  the  hell  is  it?    
You’re  hanging  out  and  that’s  what  you  need  to  do.  
 
When  you’re  on  this  date,  you’re  speaking  positively  about  your  last  relationships.    
You’re  asking  her  questions.    Don’t  be  afraid  to  ask  her.    If  she  asks  you  a  
question,  about  love  or  what’s  important  to  you,  don’t  be  afraid  to  look  at  her  
and  go  what  do  you  want  in  your  life  right  now?    Ask  her.    What  do  you  want?    
Don’t  ask  her  the  five  year  plan.    This  isn’t  a  business  venture.    What’s  your  five  
year  goal?    Do  you  have  the  spread  sheet?  You  got  the  Excel  sheet  right  here?    
Let’s  take  a  look  and  see  if  we  can  match  these  numbers  together.      
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
Don’t  get  in  your  brain  and  be  so  scientific  about  it.    Say,  what  do  you  want  right  
now?    What  do  you  desire?    Using  action  words  like  that,  desire  is  very  strong.    It  
means  that  you  want  to  hear,  what  do  you  desire  in  your  life  right  now?    What  are  
you  looking  for?    Ask  them.      
 
Allow  her  to  talk.    Listen  really  carefully  when  she’s  talking.    Eye  contact  with  her.    
Lean  in  a  little  bit.    Lean  back  a  little  bit.    Keep  eye  contact.    If  something  doesn’t  
sound  right  to  you,  ask  a  question.    When  she  tells  you  what  she  wants,  if  she  tells  
you  that  she  wants,  I  want  to  be  married  in  three  years.      
 
I  want  to  have  kids,  blah,  blah,  blah,  if  that  is  not  your  agenda,  do  not  allow  your  
penis  to  start  talking  at  that  moment.    No  matter  how  hot  she  is  and  how  
beautiful  she  is,  right  now,  if  you’re  not  looking  for  a  relationship  at  that  moment,  
and  you’re  not  looking  to  connect  on  a  deep  level  like  that,  you  need  to  man  up  
and  this  is  something  that  to  me  is  one  of  the  greatest  things  that  most  guys  don’t  
do.      
 
Most  guys  look  at  it  and  say  to  themselves,  well  I’ve  done  all  this  work.    I’ve  
learned  approach.    I’ve  learned  to  meet  woman  and  so  forth.    I  really  don’t  want  
to  be  single  anymore,  but  I  do  want  to  have  sex  with  a  bunch  of  different  women,  
but  I  haven’t  met  anybody  this  hot  ever,  I  can’t  believe  this  is  really  working.  
I  want  to  sleep  with  her;  because,  I  need  the  validation  inside  my  brain.    This  is  
where  you  start  getting  weak.    This  isn’t  dominant.    I  need  to  be  validated  right  
now.    What  you  do  is  you  tell  her,  I  want  the  same  thing,  when  you  don’t.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
Immediately  you’ve  lied  to  her.    When  you  lie  that’s  not  the  sign  of  a  dominant  
guy,  that’s  the  sign  of  a  weak  guy.      
 
That’s  the  sign  of  a  man  that  doesn’t  respect  the  opposite  sex.    What  happens?    
You  take  her  down  the  romantic  journey  a  little  bit.    You  sleep  with  her.    You  
conquested  her  and  then  all  of  a  sudden  you  say  to  yourself,  I  don’t  want  her  
anymore.      
 
This  is  what  a  dominant  guy  will  do  every  single  time.    Look  at  her  right  in  her  eyes  
and  say,  you  know  what,  I  am  not  at  that  stage  right  now.    I  just  ended  this  
relationship  three  months  ago.    I’m  doing  some  personal  work  on  myself  and  I’m  
not  really  there  right  now.    Your  vision  is  absolutely  beautiful.    I  want  that  for  you.    
You’re  a  beautiful  person.      
 
You’re  an  amazing  woman.    From  what  I  know  the  hour  and  a  half  we  spent  
together  I  think  you’re  absolutely  amazing,  but  I  said,  I’m  not  there  right  now.    I  
don’t  want  this  relationship  right  now.    I  do  in  the  future,  but  right  now  I’m  not  
emotionally  ready  for  it.  
 
At  that  moment  you  have  taken  her  somewhere  that  she’s  never  been  before.    Oh  
my  God,  an  honest  guy.    You  finish  up  your  date  with  her  and  you  look  at  her.    You  
give  her  a  big  hug  and  say,  you  know  what;  hopefully,  in  the  future  our  paths  will  
cross  again.      
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
You  know  what  happens  in  the  future  your  paths  will  cross  again;  because,  let  me  
tell  you;  whatever,  path  you’re  on  right  now,  it’s  only  temporary;  because,  
everything  in  life  is  just  being  in  the  present  moment.    When  you’re  in  that  
present  moment  and  you’re  on  this  path,  the  path  of  just  trying  to  get  laid  or  
whatever  it  might  be,  that  path  is  going  to  end  eventually.  
 
Then  all  of  a  sudden  this  beautiful  woman  that  you  were  honest  with,  open  with,  
dominant,  strong  with,  is  still  going  to  be  out  there.    Let  me  tell  you  something,  
there’s  a  50/50  shot  that  she’s  still  going  to  be  floundering  out  there,  still  single  
and  so  forth.      
 
Guess  what  you  can  do?    You  can  send  her  a  text  and  go,  hey  are  you  still  in  my  
phone,  or  do  you  remember  me,  or  how  you  been?    Guess  what  happens?    You  
can  reignite  that  passion  that  was  established  that  night;  because,  you  were  the  
one  guy  that  was  honest  with  her.    Now  if  you  want  a  relationship  at  that  
moment,  you  can  look  at  her  and  see  if  her  relationship  values  are  aligned  with  
your  relationship  values.      
 
It’s  really  important  to  do  that;  because,  she  could  tell  you  that  she  wants  to  be  
married  and  have  three  kids  and  move  to  the  suburbs  and  you’re  a  city  guy.    Once  
again  relationship  values  are  not  aligned.    Don’t  think  you  can  change  somebody  
or  sell  somebody.    If  you’re  a  traveler  and  you  want  to  travel  the  world,  and  you  
tell  a  woman  I  want  to  go  live  in  Africa,  Asia  and  all  these  other  places  and  she  
says  I  want  to  live  next  to  my  mom  and  dad  in  Long  Island.    You’re  never  going  to  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
bring  her  on  your  journey.    Once  again,  in  order  to  be  a  dominant  guy,  you  have  
to  have  the  practice  of  abundance.      
 
Life  is  abundant.    You  have  to  believe  that  there  are  so  many  beautiful  women  to  
be  your  lover,  so  many  women  to  be  your  girlfriends,  so  many  women  that  you  
can  have  a  relationship  with,  so  many  women  out  there.    You  have  to  believe  
that.    If  you  don’t  believe  that  then  you’re  going  to  go  and  you’re  going  to  mesh  
with  somebody  whose  journey  is  not,  and  I’ve  done  this,  whose  journey  is  not  the  
same  journey  as  yours.    Hence,  that’s  probably  the  reason  why  I’m  not  with  my  
ex.    Her  journey  was  so  different  than  my  journey.  She  wanted  something  totally  
different.  
 
I  met  her  and  I  was  enamored  by  her.    She  was  beautiful  and  just  dynamic.    I  was  
at  that  stage  where  I  wanted  a  relationship,  you  know  when  that  just  triggers  all  
of  a  sudden.    We  want  a  relationship.    She  said  the  right  words,  but  the  words  
weren’t  the  words  that  I  needed  to  hear.    Her  words  were  beautiful,  but  they  
weren’t  my  beautiful  words.      
 
One  of  the  most  important  things  that  you  can  do  as  a  man  is  write  down  in  a  
girlfriend,  this  is  what  I  want.    In  a  relationship  this  is  what  I  want.    In  love  this  is  
what  I  want.    In  marriage  this  is  what  I  want.    Clearly  define  that  every  single  day.    
Literally  write  that  down.      
 
It’s  an  amazing  thing.    Write  it  and  handwrite.    Don’t  type  it,  handwrite  this  thing  
down.    Keep  it  in  a  journal.    Call  it  your  love,  your  personal  journal,  whatever  it  is.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
Write  it  down  and  as  you  write  it  down,  re-­‐read  it  and  change  it.    Each  woman  
you  go  out  with  on  a  date,  it’s  going  to  change.    Also  write  down  how  you  want  to  
be  loved.      
 
I  want  to  be  loved,  this  is  important  to  me.    Do  you  like  to  be  nurtured,  not  
mothered,  okay,  do  you  like  to  be  nurtured?    Do  you  like  a  woman  that  brings  you  
gifts?    Do  you  like  a  woman  that  gives  you  your  space?    Do  you  like  to  be  with  
your  woman  three  nights  a  week,  five  nights  a  week?  
 
Can  you  live  with  somebody?    Write  this  stuff  down;  because,  the  clearer  you  are  
in  your  vision,  the  clearer  you’re  going  to  be  when  you  go  out  with  her  and  the  
more  she’s  going  to  feel  things  from  you;  because,  if  you’re  wishy  washy  in  in  
anything,  she’s  not  going  to  feel  like  she’s  with  a  dominant  guy.    
 
She’s  going  to  feel  like  she’s  a  man  that  doesn’t  have  a  sense  of  purpose.    A  man  
that  doesn’t  have  a  plan.    You’ve  got  to  have  a  plan.    When  you  have  a  plan,  a  
relationship  based  plan,  she’s  going  to  feel  it.    Not  only  that,  you’re  practicing  
abundance.    When  you  practice  abundance,  you’re  really  going  to  start  attracting  
some  amazing  women  into  your  life.  
 
Right  now,  and  your  plan  can  change;  because,  my  plan  is  always  changed.    Right  
now  I’m  dating  a  couple  of  different  women  of  all  age  ranges,  and  I  know  exactly  
what  I  want  and  I’m  getting  a  little  bit  from  every  single  one  of  them,  but  I  know  
there’s  somebody  who  will  give  me  all  the  things  that  I  want,  but  right  now  I’m  
just  enjoying  the  sex  from  one  woman,  the  emotional  connection  from  another  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
woman.    The  companionship  of  another  one  right  now.    It’s  okay.    I’m  not  taking  
any  of  them  down  a  path  that  I  know  that  we  can’t  go  down.    I’m  also  being  very  
honest  too.      
 
Every  step  of  the  way  you  want  to  be  really  honest  with  who  you  are,  your  
convictions  and  everything  else.    You  want  to  be  honest  with  your  feelings.    If  a  
woman  tells  you  she’s  falling  in  love  with  you  and  you’re  not  feeling  that,  you’ve  
got  to  look  at  her  and  say  I’m  not  there  yet.      
 
I  don’t  know  if  I’m  going  to  be  there  or  when  I’m  going  to  be  there,  but  I’m  
enjoying  this  time  with  you  right  now.    Really  important  to  be  really  honest.    Don’t  
utter  the  words  I  love  you  unless  you  mean  them.    Also  when  you  utter  the  words  
I  love  you  to  a  woman,  utter  them  and  not  expect  anything  back.      
 
Tell  her  you  love  her;  because,  you  love  her  as  a  person,  but  don’t  expect  it  back.    
This  isn’t  a  reward  thing.    When  you  give  love,  give  love  100%.    Don’t  just  expect  it  
back.    Don’t  be  like  I’m  going  to  rub  your  head  tonight,  you  better  rub  my  head  
tonight.      
 
In  a  relationship  and  being  a  dominant  guy  is  being  able  to  give  yourself  freely  and  
not  expect  anything  back.    It’s  really  important  in  the  dating  process  being  a  
dominant  guy  is  stating  who  you  are,  what  you’re  about,  claiming  her.    Let’s  go  
back  to  the  first  date.    You’ve  had  the  first  date,  you’ve  enjoyed  her.    You  ask  her  
out  for  a  second  date.      
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
I  always  ask  a  woman  out  for  a  second  date  at  the  end  of  the  first  date;  because,  I  
just  want  to  hang  with  her.    If  I  like  her  I’ll  even  tell  her,  you’re  cool.    You  and  I  
think  alike,  using  those  terminologies;  because,  once  again  it’s  very  powerful.    It’s  
all  very  subliminal.    You  and  I  really  think  alike.  You  and  I  have  this  energy  that  we  
share  together.      
 
You  and  I  are  really  aligned.    I  really  like  what  you  talked  about.    Maybe  reconfirm  
and  validate  her.    Validate  her  and  say,  it’s  really  beautiful  what  you  and  I  have  
just  talked  about.    It’s  amazing.    I  haven’t  met  anybody  that  shares  the  same  
perspective  on  whatever  it  might  be.  
 
At  the  end  of  that  first  date  you  can  tell  her,  and  I  tell  all  women  this.    You  
remember  when  we  were  little  kids  and  we  used  to  just  go  steady  and  I  bring  
back,  I  remember  I  got  on  the  phone  and  I  was  in  sixth  grade.    I  called  this  girl  Amy  
up  on  the  phone.    I  said,  Amy  do  you  want  to  go  out?    She  said  no.    I  was  like  oh  
damn.      
 
It  took  me  four  more  years  to  get  a  girlfriend  again;  because,  I  was  so  blown  away  
by  that.    In  10th  grade  I  called  this  girl  Pam  up  on  the  phone  I  said,  do  you  want  to  
go  out?    She  said  yes.    The  next  day  we  were  boyfriend  and  girlfriend.    The  whole  
high  school  was  talking.  
 
That’s  how  you  want  to  be.    You  want  to  bring  them  back  to  the  days  of  the  
Snowball  Dance,  bring  them  back  to  the  days  of  high  school.    You  want  to  go  out.    
You  want  to  go  steady.    You  want  to  hang  with  them.    You  don’t  want  to  go  do  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
this  dating  stuff.    You  can  look  at  her  and  go,  you  know  I  really  enjoy,  I  really  enjoy  
hanging  out  with  you.      
 
Ask  her  out  again  at  the  end  of  that  first  date.    You  know  what,  you  and  I  are  
going  to  go  do  this.    Once  again  being  dominant.    You  and  I  are  going  to  do  this,  
based  on  what  you  learned  about  her  over  the  course  of  that  date,  you  and  I  are  
going  to  do  this  on  Sunday,  on  Tuesday,  whatever  it  is.  
 
Always  have  a  plan.    It’s  so  important  to  have  that  plan.    When  you  have  a  plan,  
you’re  able  to  take  her  down  an  emotional  journey.    At  the  end  of  the  second  
date,  have  a  plan  for  the  third  date.    Cook  her  dinner.    Bring  her  back  to  your  
house.    It’s  like  don’t  worry  about  the  sex.      
 
The  sex  is  always  going  to  come;  because,  if  you  have  a  plan  and  you’re  dominant  
it’s  going  to  feel  natural.    If  the  sex  doesn’t  feel  natural,  you  feel  like  you  can’t  
grab  her  and  kiss  her,  then  you  know  what,  your  energy  with  her  is  not  aligned.    
Because,  when  it  comes  down  to  the  sex,  you  want  to  just  grab  her.    You  want  to  
hold  her  and  grab  her  and  go  come  here.  
 
Once  again,  action  words.    You  see  everything  that  I’m  talking  about,  it’s  all  an  
action  word.    Come  here.    Get  over  here.    Get  over  here.    Don’t  ask  her  to  kiss.    
My  God,  that’s  the  worst  thing  of  all.    Can  I  kiss  you  right  now?    No  grab  her  and  
kiss  her.    Grab  her.    When  you  kiss  her  for  the  very,  very  first  time;  whether,  it’s  
date  one  or  date  two  or  date  three,  whenever  you’re  really  comfortable.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
Kiss  her  lips  softly  and  allow  her,  feel  her  lips.    Don’t  jam  your  tongue  down  her  
throat,  like  you  want  to  go  eat  her  dinner.    Take  her  lips,  put  your  lips  on  hers  and  
feel,  feel  where  her  tongue  is  going.  
 
Is  her  tongue  moving  soft  in  your  mouth?    Is  it  moving  hard  in  your  mouth?    Feel  
where  she’s  at.    Touch  her,  but  don’t  touch  her,  don’t  grab  her  ass  or  anything  like  
that.    Just  touch  her  and  hold  her  and  make  her  feel  safe.    A  dominant  guy  will  
make  a  woman  feel  safe  from  the  get-­‐go.    If  you  look  at  the  process  of  this,  action  
words,  commands,  telling  her.    Having  a  plan.      
 
Sexually  showing  her  you’re  in  control  which  is  something  really  important.    Don’t  
try  to  dry  hump  her  leg  in  the  middle  of  the  parking  lot.    Don’t  bring  her  up  to  
your  house  if  she  doesn’t  want  to  go  up.    If  she  comes  to  your  house  and  watches  
a  movie  and  she  just  says,  I  really  love  cuddling.    Cuddle  her.  
 
Don’t  sit  there  and  just  start  pulling  her,  trying  to  get  her  on  your  lap  so  you  can  
just  hump  her.    It’s  like  a  dog  in  heat.    Show  control.    When  you  show  control  
you’re  dominant.    I  don’t  care  if  you  haven’t  been  laid  in  six  months.    She’s  going  
to  sleep  if  you  show  control.    She’s  going  to  sleep  with  you  if  you  don’t’  grab  her  
and  paw  her.    Allow  her  to  feel  safe.      
 
That’s  the  number  one  thing  women  want.    A  dominant  guy  will  allow  a  woman  to  
feel  safe  in  his  presence  and  a  dominant  male  will  command  a  woman  and  tell  a  
woman  exactly  what’s  going  on  in  that  relationship  and  drive  that  car.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
It’s  not  like  it’s  a  one-­‐sided  relationship,  that’s  a  whole  other  conversation.    It’s  
not  like  you’re  telling  her  what  to  do.    You’re  setting  an  intent.    You’re  setting  
plans.    You’re  telling  her  when  you’re  going  to  meet.    You’re  setting  it  up.    You’re  
doing  things  for  her.    You’re  romancing  her.    You’re  cooking  her  meals.    When  she  
comes  to  your  house,  your  house  is  clean.      
 
There’s  no  pubes  around  the  toilet  bowl.    The  sheets  are  clean.    The  towels  are  
clean.    You  have  an  extra  toothbrush  there  in  case  she  spends  the  night.    You’ve  
got  a  clean  shirt  for  her  to  sleep  in.    You  know  how  to  romance  a  woman.      
This  isn’t  your  first  rodeo.    You  understand  how  to  romance  a  woman.    You’re  
showing  her  that  you’re  in  control  and  she  is  the  chosen  one  and  that’s  what’s  
important.    If  you  show  her  that  she’s  the  chosen  one,  she  is  going  to  say  goodbye  
to  every  other  male  suitor  that  she  has  ever  seen  in  the  last  six  months;  because,  
she  knows  that  you  are  the  guy  for  her.      
 
She’s  built  it  up.    You’re  doing  everything  right.    You  are  leading  the  way.    You  
have  plan  for  every  single  date.    When  you  hang  out  at  her  house,  when  she  
hangs  out  at  your  house  you’re  making  her  feel  comfortable.      
 
Allow  her  to  sleep  over  for  the  very,  very  first  time  and  don’t  have  sex  with  her.    
The  first  night  she  sleeps  over,  women  do  this  all  the  time.    I’m  going  to  leave  you  
guys  at  this,  that  yawn,  oh  God,  it’s  getting  late.    I  love  that,  like  I  haven’t  heard  
that  a  hundred  times.    Here  we  go,  it’s  getting  late  conversation.      
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
No,  I’m  having  a  good  time.    I’m  enjoying  talking  and  connecting  with  you.    See  
the  terms,  I’m  enjoying  and  connecting  with  you.    Half  an  hour  later  she’ll  do  it  
again.    Oh,  God,  it’s  getting  late.    God,  really  I  could  talk  to  you  all  night  long.    Say  
that;  because,  that’s  what  they  want.      
 
They  want  to  talk  to  the  wee  hours  of  the  morning;  because,  they  want  to  have  a  
sleepover.    Sleepovers  are  so  much  fun.    Make  it  a  sleepover.    Then  look  at  her  
and  say,  “You  know  what?    Let’s  just  go  lay  down.    I’ve  got  these  pajamas.  I’ve  got  
these  Cookie  Monster  pants  that  my  daughter  made  me  buy.      
 
I’ve  got  these  great  pajamas  you’re  going  to  want  to  wear.    Why  don’t  we  just  get  
into  bed?    Why  don’t  us  just  cuddle  and  that’s  it.”    You  hand  her  the  Cookie  
Monster  pajamas  and  a  t-­‐shirt  and  she  comes  out  and  she  looks  really  cute.    
You’re  laying  bed.    You’ve  got  your  boxers  on.      
 
You  lay  in  bed  and  you  open  it  up  and  you  just  grab  her  and  you  grab  her,  you  
hold  her  arm  and  you  grab  her  and  you  hold  her  close  to  you  and  you  hold  her.    
You  rub  her  head  to  sleep  and  you  tell  her  a  bedtime  story.    It’s  perfect.    Make  her  
feel  safe.    Make  her  feel  secure.    Kiss  her  cheek  a  few  times.      
 
Tell  her  a  bed  time  story.    You’re  going  to  say,  “What’s  your  favorite  bedtime  
story?    I’m  going  to  tell  you  this  and  I  do.”    I  make  up  these  bedtime  stories  about  
the  prince  and  the  princess  or  whatever  it  is.    It’s  really  cute  and  it’s  really  fun  and  
I  don’t  make  a  move  on  her.      
 

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       DAVID WYGANT
 
I  wake  up  in  the  morning  and  I  cook  her  breakfast.  I  don’t  make  a  move.    I  give  her  
a  little  kiss  good  morning  on  her  lips  and  that’s  about  it.    I  show  that  I  am  in  
control.    When  I  send  her  back  out  there  she  is  going  to  be  dying,  dying  to  have  
sex  with  you  the  very  next  time;  because,  she  knows  that  she’s  in  the  position,  in  
the  possession  of  a  very  dominant  secure  guy  that  didn’t  try  to  sleep  with  her.    
She  feels  safe.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
 

CHAPTER 9: BOYFRIEND MATERIAL

We  just  heard  some  very  interesting  and  different  perspectives  from  three  
awesome,  awesome  guys.  I  hope  you're  starting  to  see  how  the  dots  all  connect.  
Certainly,  when  you  see  some  of  the  body  language  demonstrations  and  the  way  
that  we  all  talk  with  women,  you  probably  see  there  are  some  common  threads  
here  that  you  can  implement  in  your  own  life.  We're  going  to  move  beyond  being  
an  obsession-­‐worthy  man  at  this  point.  We're  going  to  talk  about  being  boyfriend  
material.  

Evan  and  I,  when  we  were  working  on  this  program,  we  were  joking.  Apparently,  
there's  this  Ryan  Gosling  line.  You  guys  know  the  Ryan  Gosling  meme?  "Hey,  girl."  
You  know  the  Hey  Girl  meme?  Anybody  know  it?  I  know  you  know  it.  "Hey,  girl."  
It's  like  just  Ryan  Gosling  walks  up  to  you.  "Hey,  girl."  Feel  the  sweater?  It  feels  
good,  right?  It's  boyfriend  material.    

That's  how  I  like  to  think  of  this  segment  is  like  you  keep  your  edge,  you  keep  your  
Ryan  Gosling  edge,  but  you  still  got  this  amazing  softness  and  sweetness  that  
you're  able  to  bring  to  her.  This  is  the  stuff  that  makes  you  into  a  great  boyfriend.  
It's  the  stuff  that  makes  her  feel  uniquely  beautiful,  feminine,  and  appreciated  in  
her  eyes.  In  the  marketing  for  this  program,  I  talk  about  the  seven  things  that  you  
can  give  her  that  require  no  looks,  money,  et  cetera,  et  cetera.  Everything  in  here  
is  free  to  give  to  a  girl,  but  it's  amazing.    

In  the  obsession  story,  if  we  relate  this  back  to  literotica,  this  is  the  part  that  
comes  out  when  the  girl  starts  to  win  the  guy  over.  There  is  always  a  shift  in  the  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
 
obsession  story  where  he's  gone  from  this  indifferent,  non-­‐caring  man  who's  
challenging  her,  who's  dominant,  who  takes  her  and  then  leaves  her.  Then  all  of  a  
sudden,  something  happens.  Something  uniquely  human  happens  between  the  
two  of  them  that  allows  him  to  see  this  part  of  her  that  he'd  never  seen  before.  
It's  this  latent,  almost  lost  part  of  the  male  character's  presence  that  her  love  
brings  to  the  surface  and  her  attention  brings  to  the  surface.    

This  part  of  you,  it's  in  you  the  whole  time,  but  it's  not  the  thing  that  gets  
expressed  right  up  front.  Over  the  course  of  dates,  over  the  course  of  
interactions,  and  really  going  to  the  relationship,  this  is  the  stuff  that  starts  to  
become  more  manifest.    

That's  really  the  key  point  here,  is  these  are  not  techniques.  This  stuff  almost  
precedes  everything  that  we're  talking  about.  I  know  there  were  times  in  my  life  
when  I  wanted  a  girlfriend  but  I  was  not  ready  for  a  relationship,  and  it  was  
because  I  wasn't  this  way.  I  didn't  have  this  stuff  handled.    

One  of  the  big  lessons  I  learned  in  my  mid-­‐20s  was  in  the  long  run,  the  truth  
comes  out.  If  you're  not  this  way,  as  I've  said,  you're  probably  not  ready  for  a  
girlfriend  anyway.  I  had  quite  a  few  relationships  in  my  mid-­‐20s  where  I  got  into  
them,  they  lasted  for  maybe  three  months,  five  months,  six  months,  we'd  get  to  
the  point  of  I  love  yous  and  whatnot,  and  then  it  just  collapses.  Why?  It's  because  
this  stuff  wasn't  really  in  me  or  a  part  of  me  at  this  point.    

What's  really  interesting  about  this  stuff  is  that  when  you  get  into  relationships  
with  really  incredible,  stunning,  nines  and  tens,  so  to  speak,  this  becomes  more  
important  than  everything  else.  This  becomes  more  important  than  the  money,  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
 
the  looks,  the  cars.  What  my  friend  doctor  David  Tian,  I  like  to  call  the  bigger,  
better  deal,  or  the  BBD.    

Really  attractive  girls  have  seen  everything.  We're  here  in  New  York  right  now.  
I've  dated  girls  who  have  been  in  hot  tubs  at  the  Trump  Towers.  They've  been  
flown  down  on  vacations  on  a  whim.  They've  been  served  thousands  and  
thousands  of  dollars  of  the  Dom  Perignon  poured  out  of  shoes  in  nightclubs.  
They've  seen  everything.  They've  eaten  at  the  best  restaurants,  danced  at  the  
best  nightclubs,  spent  time  at  Saint  Trope.  It's  like  that  stuff  it's  common  for  
them.  

The  stuff  that  we're  going  to  talk  about  now  is  what  these  really  wealthy  guys  
aren't  giving  to  them.  It's  secretly  the  stuff  that  most  of  them  really,  really  want.  
Most  bigger  better  deals  don't  do  this  stuff.    

Let's  get  into  the  seven  things  that  we're  going  to  talk  about  here.  The  first  thing  
that  you  can  have  for  her,  that  you  can  give  her,  is  vision.  The  best  way  to  think  
about  this  is  you  see  her  in  the  spotlight.  How  do  you  see  her  when  the  spotlight  
is  upon  her?  When  she's  all  lit  up?  When  she's  at  her  most  beautiful  and  at  her  
best?  How  do  you  see  her?  You  have  a  vision  for  her  life  and  for  what  success  
means  to  her.  You  see  possibilities  and  you  see  potential  in  her.  You  see  the  
things  that  she  may  not  even  see  for  herself.    

The  best  way  to  ask  this  question  to  the  girl  or  to  bring  this  out  of  a  girl,  what's  
the  beautiful  vision  that  you  want  your  life  to  be?  This  is  a  fantastic  take  question.  
What's  amazing  is  many  women  have  never  given  themselves  the  indulgence  or  
the  luxury  of  thinking  this  through.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
 
We're  so  caught  up  in  making  it  day-­‐to-­‐day  and  we  never  really  give  ourselves  the  
luxury  of  what  is  the  beautiful  vision  that  we  want  our  lives  to  be  if  anything  is  
possible.  That's  a  wonderful  thing  to  explore  with  a  girl.  It's  a  wonderful  thing  to  
encourage  her  to  pursue,  because  most  of  us  do  not  take  these  risks,  we  don't  
have  these  visions  for  ourselves.    

So  if  you  have  a  little  bit  ...  What's  amazing  here  is  if  you're  a  little  bit  older  …  A  lot  
of  older  guys,  they  talk  to  us,  they’re  like,  “Man,  I'm  older,  I  don't  think  younger  
girls  like  me.”  I’m  like,  “Man,  you  have  one  of  the  biggest  benefits  possible  if  you  
can  have  a  vision  for  a  girl  that  she's  not  going  to  see  for  herself,  because  you  
have  not  age  but  experience,  and  you  have  wisdom.  With  your  wisdom  and  with  
your  experience  you  can  have  a  vision  for  a  girl  that  she  is  not  going  to  see  for  
herself.”    

How  might  this  play  out  in  a  conversation?  What's  an  example  of  how  you  might  
discuss  this  with  a  girl?  You  can  flirt  with  her  about  it.  You  could  say  …  This  is  a  
great  date  conversation.  “Okay,  look.  You've  made  it.  You're  sitting  there  on  
Oprah.  What's  the  conversation?  What's  Oprah  asking  you  about,  and  what  are  
you  sharing  with  her?”    

You're  putting  her  in  the  state  where  she  is  allowed  to  express  her  values  and  her  
vision,  what  she  really  wants  to  share  with  the  world.  All  these  things  that  we've  
been  talking  about  today,  everybody  wants  to  share  something  beautiful  with  the  
world  unless  they're  a  horrible  human  being.  Most  women  are  not  horrible  
human  beings.  Most  women  want  to  share  something  beautiful  with  the  world.  
This  is  where  we  get  into  a  little  bit  of  role  playing  about  it.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
 
Or  if  she's  into  books,  like,  “Okay,  there's  an  unauthorized  biography  written  
about  you.  What's  the  best  thing  in  there,  and  what's  the  worst  thing?  What's  the  
thing  that  you  never  wanted  to  come  out?"  Then  you  can  flirt  and  tease  about  
that.  “What's  the  best  thing?  What's  the  thing  that  you  want  to  accomplish,  and  
your  unauthorized  biographer  captures  and  talks  about  with  you?”  So  trying  to  
find  a  vision  for  her  and  trying  to  help  her  see  what's  possible  for  herself.  That's  
the  very  first  thing  that  you  can  give  her  that  very  few  other  men  will  ever  try  to  
give  her.  

The  next  thing  and  this  is  along  these  lines  of  what  I  call  growth.  This  is  perhaps  
the  cheesiest  metaphor  I've  ever  used  but  I  find  it  very  appropriate.  If  she's  a  
seedling,  you're  the  water  and  the  sunshine.  You  are  the  thing  that  helps  nourish  
her  growth.  You  help  her  with  her  goals  and  her  ambitions.  You've  got  this  vision  
for  her.  She  has  a  vision  for  herself.  You  help  cultivate  that.  Then  you  help  her  
create  goals  and  you  help  fuel  her  ambition.    

You  don't  do  the  work  for  her.  You  just  help  her  find  the  path.  Maybe  it's  just  a  
little  gentle  nudge,  maybe  just  a  little  reminder.  A  great  example  of  this  I've  been  
on  an  insane  health  kick  lately  and  when  I'm  tempted  to  eat  burgers  my  girlfriend  
says,  “Tsk-­‐tsk-­‐tsk.”  She  just  reminds  me.  It's  not  because  she  wants  me  to  be  in  
good  shape.  It’s  because  she  knows  it's  a  goal  for  me.  She's  keeping  me  on  my  
path.    

So  it  goes  both  ways.  You  challenge  her  to  do  things,  to  pursue  things,  to  become  
things.  You  challenge  her  to  become  something  better.  You  challenge  her  to  
pursue  something  that  is  a  risk,  that’s  secretly  something  she  always  hoped  for,  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
 
because  she  knows  she  has  you  there  to  support  her.  You  got  her  back.  You  
become  her  teammate  or  maybe  in  some  cases  her  mentor  where  you  have  
experience,  but  you  become  her  team  mate  first  and  foremost.    

Then  also  you  celebrate  her  achievements  when  she  achieves  something.  You  
celebrate  that.  You  make  her  feel  amazing  about  having  achieved  that  thing.  That  
is  growth.  That  is  the  second  thing  that  you  can  give  a  girl.  

The  third  is  thrills.  Thrills,  I'm  not  talking  about  roller  coasters.  Those  are  fun.  I  
encourage  you  to  take  girls  on  roller  coasters.  I  think  creating  emotions  and  
excitement  in  an  otherwise  mundane  life.  Most  of  us,  again,  this  is  a  common  
theme.  You  hear  this.  We  go  through  our  lives  on  autopilot.  They're  a  little  bit  
mundane.  We  come  home,  we  smoke  our  joint,  and  play  some  XBox,  we  go  to  
bed,  call  it  a  day,  and  do  the  same  thing  the  next  day.  It’s  a    mundane  life.    

That's  not  what  I  think  anybody  in  here  really  wants.  Certainly  most  women  wish  
they  would  get  just  picked  up  and  taken  away  and  transported  away  from  the  
female  equivalent  to  that.  That's  what  the  obsession  story  is  all  about,  is  being  
that  guy  who  just  pulls  her  out  of  this.  So  creating  emotions  and  excitement  in  an  
otherwise  mundane  life.  How  do  you  do  this  though?    

The  first  thing  we  talked  about  give  her  the  gift  of  wondering  about  you.  But  let's  
take  that  one  step  further.  Let's  make  it,  give  her  the  thrill  of  wondering  about  
you.  Has  anybody  read  "How  to  text  her?"  It's  my  texting  program.  If  you  have,  
then  you  know  about  my  very  favorite  texting  technique.  It's  called  the  short  text.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
 
The  short  text  is  the  easiest  to  overlook  because  it's  the  least  flashy,  but  it's  also  
what  I  would  say  is  the  most  effective.  The  short  text  is  you're  going  back  and  
forth  with  the  girl  over  text  messaging.  Maybe  you're  in  what  I  call  rapid  rapport.  
So  you  guys  are  exchanging  texts  pretty  quickly.  You're  going  back  and  forth  and  
then  she  says  something  like,  “So  you  got  a  busy  day  ahead  of  you,”  and  you  say,  
“Yes.”  Done.  You  don't  talk  to  her  for  the  next  eight  hours.  Or  she  says,  “How  was  
lunch?”  “Great.”  Done.  

So  you've  been  texting  a  lot  up  to  that  point  and  then  one  word  response  and  
then  done.  I  know  this  has  happened  to  you  guys.  You're  texting  with  the  girl  and  
then  all  of  a  sudden  you  get  a  really  short  text  from  her  and  you  don't  hear  from  
her  and  you're  like,  “What  did  I  just  say?  Did  I  screw  it  up?”  You  send  another  text  
message  maybe  and  then  you're  thinking  about  her  for  the  next  eight  hours  until  
you  get  that  Ziegarnick  effect,  that  open  loop.  The  short  text  is  a  great  way  to  give  
her  the  thrill  of  wondering  about  you.  What  is  this  guy  thinking  of  me?  That  
creates  some  excitement  in  her  life,  some  drama.    

Another  great  example  surprise  dates.  This  is  like  when  she's  your  girlfriend,  one  
night  you  come  home,  “Hey  babe,  get  a  dress  on,  we're  going  on  a  date  tonight.”  
Or  changes  in  plans  when  you're  on  the  date.  You  told  her  you  were  going  to  do  
this  thing.  You  actually  take  her  to  do  this  other  really  fun  thing.  You  told  her  you  
were  going  to  see  Jazz,  you  actually  take  her  to  Dave  &  Buster’s.    

Some  other  thrills.  Another  great  thrill  that  I  thought  about  in  the  past  is  spraying  
champagne  on  her  when  you're  having  sex.  Whoa,  where  did  that  come  from?  It's  
not  going  to  feel  amazing  but  it's  going  to  feel  incredible.  I  don't  know.  It's  not  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
 
going  to  feel  like  the  best  thing  ever  on  a  sensual  level  but  it's  going  to  be  that  
thrill,  that  shock,  that  excitement.  That's  what  I  mean  by  giving  her  thrills.  

The  next  thing,  so  we've  talked  about  vision,  we've  talked  about  growth,  we've  
talked  about  thrills.  The  next  thing  to  talk  about  is  betterment.  Helping  her  
become  better  and  healthier  in  mind,  body,  and  spirit.  So  how  is  this  different  
than  growth?  I  mean  you  can  dissect  your  words  as  you  want.  I  think  of  growth  as  
you're  helping  her  grow  towards  the  goal.  Betterment  is  just  she's  becoming  a  
better  human  being  all  around,  she's  becoming  healthier,  she's  becoming  happier,  
she’s  becoming  more  fulfilled  in  spirit.    

Growth  is  specific  to  her  own  goals.  Betterment  is  everybody  knows  what  it  is  to  
become  a  better  person.  So  encouraging  her  to  eat  healthy,  encouraging  her  to  
exercise  with  you,  pushing  her,  “Hey  babe,  let's  go  for  a  run.  Hey,  I  feel  like  a  
burger  now  but  we  should  do  salads.”  Not  every  night.  Encouraging  her  to  eat  
healthy  and  just  feel  better.  You  feel  better  when  you  do  these  things.  You  want  
her  to  feel  better  too.    

Meditating  or  praying  together  if  you're  into  spirituality.  Encouraging  her  to  join  
you  in  prayer.  Maybe  giving  her  transformative  books  and  reading  through  them  
with  her.  If  there's  a  book  that's  meant  a  lot  to  you,  that's  changed  you  into  a  
better  person,  giving  it  to  her,  sharing  it  with  her,  talking  about  why  it's  so  
important  to  you.  “The  power  of  now”  is  a  real  obvious  one  if  you'd  never  read  
“The  Power  Of  Now.”  Chicks  dig  that  book  guys.  Everybody  digs  that  book.  It's  
amazing.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
 
Then  finally  if  you  are  so  inclined  what  I  would  call  mind-­‐altering  experiences  and  
if,  yeah,  the  raised  eyebrow  …  I'm  not.  I'm  not  kidding  at  all.  If  your  girl  is  into  
mind-­‐altering  experiences  and  you  are  as  well,  I'm  not  one  to  advocate  the  use  of  
anything  illegal,  but  if  you  find  your  way  into  it  and  you  find  it  to  be  something  
that  you  enjoy  in  your  life  and  she  may  be  interested  in  joining  you  in  that  as  well.  
It's  just  speaking  from  experience.  That  is  betterment.  

The  next  thing  is  pleasure.  It's  the  next  thing  that  you  can  give  a  woman.  It’s  
pleasure.  We  talked  about  it  before.  Simply  making  her  feel  good.  How  do  you  
make  her  feel  good?  How  do  you  make  her  smile?  This  is  the  question  I  ask  myself  
for  many  years,  how  do  I  make  a  girl  smile?  I  used  to  think  it  was  in  a  technique,  
or  in  some  words  I  would  say,  or  in  a  joke  I  would  tell.  You  make  a  girl  smile  by  
smiling  yourself,  and  by  laughing  yourself,  and  by  being  a  smile,  by  being  laughter,  
by  being  happy.  It  starts  inside  of  you.  

You  guys  have  been  in  a  bar  one  time  or  a  party  or  whatever,  you're  standing  
there  and  like  somebody  is  just  laughing,  and  they're  happy,  and  they're  talking  to  
each  other.  Jason,  really,  we're  talking,  we're  shooting  the  shit,  we're  just  
laughing,  we're  smiling.  I'm  just  smiling  because  I'm  happy  to  be  there  and  
chatting  with  them.    

All  of  a  sudden  my  eyes  go  this  way  and  you  just  see  the  smile,  and  you  feel  it.  I'm  
not  like  we're  talking,  talking.  It's  not  like  that.  That's  not  how  you  make  your  own  
smile.  You  smile  because  you  feel  it,  you  feel  happy.  You  just  fucking  share  it  with  
her.  You  can't  help  it.  It's  who  you  are.  That's  how  you  make  a  girl  smile.  Because  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
 
that's  the  pleasure  that  you're  going  to  give  her,  it  starts  inside  of  you,  feeling  
happiness,  feeling  pleasure.    

Same  thing  with  sex.  Giving  her  amazing  sexual  experiences.  Rather  fucking  the  
shit  out  of  her  or  just  seeing  sex  as  artistic,  as  a  canvas.  You  guys  ever  seen  Don  
Juan  DeMarco?  Beautiful  sex  scene  in  the  beginning.  “A  woman's  body  is  like  a  
violin.  You  must  learn  how  to  play  it.”    

What's  another  element  of  pleasure?  I've  spoken  of  this  already  before  but  it's  so  
important  that  it’s  worth  driving  the  point  home.  Is  don't  push  as  soon  as  possible  
for  sex,  for  sexuality  until  she  wants  sex  as  soon  as  possible.  Let  me  repeat  that.  
Don't  push  for  ASAP  sex,  push  sexuality  until  she  wants  sex  ASAP.  It's  just  another  
way  of  saying  create  sexual  tension.  That's  the  pleasure  for  her,  it's  the  chase,  the  
thrill,  the  excitement,  the  unknowing,  the  danger  of  it.    

One  of  the  things  that  I  try  to  remind  myself  and  often  forget  especially  in  the  last  
few  months  that  I've  become  overwhelmingly  busy  with  work  is  that  you  have  to  
create  space  in  your  life  and  remember  to  bring  pleasure  into  your  own  life  and  
into  that  of  your  girlfriend  and  live  a  sensual  life  of  your  own.    

I  was  reminded  of  this  the  other  day  when  I  left  work  to  go  to  Central  Park  for  a  
boat  ride.  When  you're  leaving  work  you're  like,  “Shit,  I  got  that  to  do.  I  got  to  get  
this  thing  done,  I  got  to  sign  this  contract,”  and  then  I  just  realized  I  was  sitting  in  
the  boat,  my  girlfriend  and  I  were  there,  it’s  the  most  amazing  time  in  our  week.  
You  just  need  to  create  space  for  stuff  like  that,  to  create  space  for  pleasure.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
 
The  next  thing  for  boyfriend  material  is  you  are  an  example  to  her.  This  is  I  think  
number  six.  Yes,  you  are  an  example  to  her.  Are  your  actions  something  that  you  
would  want  others  to  emulate,  that  would  make  the  world  better,  that  would  
make  relationships  better?  I'm  certain  that  I  feel  that  way,  I'm  certain  that  Jason  
feels  that  way,  I'm  certain  that  our  friend  Alex  feels  that  way.    

So  just  being  an  example  of  what  a  man  should  be  in  her  life.  This  can  be  very  
simple.  It  can  be  chivalry,  holding  open  doors,  putting  her  in  a  taxi,  walking  her  
out  to  the  street  when  she's  leaving  your  home.  Something  simple  like  when  she  
returns  to  the  table  standing  up,  if  she  returns  to  the  table  on  a  dinner  date  
standing  up,  just  ever  so  slightly,  allow  her  to  sit,  chivalrous  and  respectable  
things  to  do.  You're  not  giving  shit  up.  You're  not  giving  up  your  power  by  being  a  
gentleman.  If  this  is  a  core  value  of  yours,  then  you're  not  giving  up  any  power.  
This  is  just  something  you  always  do.    

One  of  the  places  that  I've  failed  in  my  life  is  in  honesty.  I  think  honesty  is  the  
most  important  thing  in  a  relationship.  I  have  failed  with  this  in  the  past  to  my  
everlasting  regret.  Sort  of  a  duh,  right,  you're  supposed  to  be  honest.  I  was  talking  
to  my  trainer  the  other  day  and  he's  like,  “Man,  you  know,  like,  the  secret  for  
staying  in  a  good  relationship,  don't  do  stupid  shit.  And  if  you  do  stupid  shit  tell  
her  about  it.”  I  was  like,  “I  know  man,  I  know.”  He  was  like,  “But  it's  hard  not  to  
do  stupid  shit.  And  when  you  do  stupid  shit  you  don't  want  to  tell  her  about  it.”  
I’m  like,  “I  know,  I  know.”  But  being  example,  trying  your  damn  just  not  to  do  
stupid  shit  when  you're  in  the  relationship  with  her.  And  if  you  do  stupid  shit,  
being  honest  about  it  and  accepting  what  comes  your  way.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
 
This,  all  of  the  stuff,  being  an  example,  it's  very  attractive  if  it  comes  from  the  
position  of  leadership  and  core  value.  If  you're  just  doing  this  because  you  think  
it's  the  right  thing  to  do  to  have  a  girlfriend,  then  it's  not  very  attractive  to.  If  
you're  standing  up,  if  you're  opening  doors  for  her,  if  you're  doing  like  these  nice  
like  putting  her  on  a  taxi  first,  that's  like  ...  If  she  feels  like  she's  it's  just  put  on,  it's  
not  something  that's  truly  important  to  you  it's  going  to  lose  its  attractiveness.  
But  if  it's  something  that  is  truly  important  to  you,  treat  her  like  a  woman,  be  an  
example  of  how  a  man  should  treat  a  woman,  it  will  be  very  attractive.    

The  final  thing  in  boyfriend  material,  it's  very  simple,  it’s  what's  best  for  her.  What  
is  best  for  her?  Being  together  for  the  right  reasons.  Knowing  if  and  when  
someone  can  give  more  to  her  than  you  can,  and  knowing  if  there's  someone  else  
out  there  who  can  give  more  to  you.  I'm  sure  I'm  not  the  only  one  who's  stayed  in  
relationships  too  long.  Not  because  I  thought  that  there  wasn't  somebody  out  
there  better,  but  just  because  I  was  scared.  On  the  same  token  in  the  last  four  or  
five  years  of  my  life  I  found  it  necessary  to  break  up  with  girls  when  I  was  not  the  
best  for  them  or  they  for  me.    

A  few  examples  I'd  like  to  talk  about,  there  was  a  very  beautiful  girl  I  was  dating  
who  was  very  insecure.  We  broke  up.  We  continued  to  have  sex  for  quite  some  
time.  I  finally  realized  one  morning,  I  woke  up  next  to  her,  I  just  saw  this  look  in  
her  eyes.  It  was  somewhere  between  panic  and  sadness.  I  realized  she  just  kept  
coming  back  to  me  and  into  my  bed,  and  it  was  a  temporary  fix  for  a  deeper  
existential  problem  in  her  life.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
 
The  sex  was  amazing.  The  girl  was  beautiful.  I  did  not  want  to  give  her  up,  but  I  
just  looked  at  her  that  morning.  I  was  like,  “You  need  to  get  my  number  out  of  
your  phone  book.  Stop  calling  me.  It's  very  hard  for  me  to  say  that.  But  I  am  not  
best  for  you  right  now.  And  if  you  keep  calling  me,  I'm  going  to  keep  answering,  
and  we're  just  going  to  keep  doing  this,  and  neither  of  us  are  going  to  move  
forward.”  That  day  was  a  big  day  in  my  life.  I  was  like,  “Holy  shit,  I  can't  believe  I  
have  the  strength  to  do  this.”  But  it  had  to  happen.  She  ended  up  finding  Jesus.  
No  joke.    

Speaking  of  Jesus,  another  good  example  of  this  is  I  dated  a  very,  very  Christian  
girl  for  a  few  years.  We  tried  to  make  it  work,  and  I  tried  to  go  to  church,  and  I  
tried  to  get  in  the  whole  thing  and  just  wasn't  a  fit  for  me.  Towards  the  end  of  our  
relationship  there  were  a  number  of  fights  about  Genesis  and  about  fall  festivals  
as  Halloween.    

Finally  we  hired  this  girl  who  was  a  lesbian  to  do  some  coaching,  or  bisexual,  and  
she  was  very  unhappy  about  that,  my  ex.  I  just  realized  I  was  like,  “I've  been  trying  
to  make  this  thing  work  for  a  long,  long,  long  ass  time,  but  our  beliefs  just  don't  
work.  We  are  headed  for  a  life  of  non-­‐stop  disagreements.  And  if  we  bring  kids  
into  this,  good  lord,”  like  literally  good  lord  or  whatever.  So  we  broke  up.    

I  said  look,  “I  love  you  to  death  but  this  is  just  not  what's  best  for  you.  I  am  not  
what's  best  for  you.  I  can't  give  you  what  you  want.  I  won't  sing  at  church,  I  don't  
feel  God  in  my  spirit  and  my  soul  the  way  you  do,  and  I'm  not  what's  best  for  you.  
I  need  to  let  you  go.”  I  did  and  we  both  found  love  in  other  wonderful  places.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
 
So  that's  it.  Let's  recap  boyfriend  material  here.  It's  very  simple  but  there's  so  
much  depth  in  this,  vision,  seeing  what's  possible  for  her,  growth,  helping  her  
achieve  what's  possible  for  her,  thrills,  making  her  life  exciting,  betterment,  
improving  together  the  two  of  you,  pleasure,  taking  pleasure  and  giving  it  to  her,  
an  example  of  how  relationships  ought  to  be,  what's  best  for  her  and  for  you.    
If  you  can  truly  bring  those  seven  things  into  a  relationship,  you  will  be  giving  her  
something  that  very  few  other  men  can.  And  you  will  be  one  of  her  best  
boyfriends  ever.  That  is  boyfriend  material.  We're  going  to  move  on  now  and  
we're  going  to  get  into  the  dating  game.  The  obsession  story  and  all  that  good  
stuff.

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       Q&A
 

CHAPTER 10: Q&A

I  thought  I  was  done  with  that  last  segment  and  for  once  I  didn't  ask:  did  anybody  
have  any  questions,  and  then  people  have  questions,  so  I  figured  if  you  guys  have  
questions  then  people  at  home  might  have  questions  too.  I  should  probably  
answer  those  questions.  

The  question  that  came  up,  let  me  make  sure  I  phrase  this  appropriately,  is  the  
things  we  just  talked  about  for  boyfriend  values,  are  those  things  that  precede  the  
relationship  or  do  they  happen  when  you're  in  the  relationship,  and  she's  your  
girlfriend,  or  do  they  happen  when  you're  starting  to  date  her?  Is  that  a  fair  way  
of  asking  that  question?  

Yeah,  the  question  is  when  do  these  things  begin  to  express  themselves?  I  think  
the  thing  that  had  confused  you  a  little  bit  was  hey  wait.  On  one  hand  you're  
telling  me  to  be  challenging  and  mysterious  and  all  these  things.  On  the  other  
hand  you're  telling  me  to  be  the  seed  to  her  rock  and  her  sunshine,  which  sounds  
so  sweet.  So  nice.  

How  do  you  combine  these  things?  How  do  they  work  together?  Well,  as  I  
mentioned,  these  are  sort  of  things  that  you  want  for  a  very  special  woman  in  
your  life,  so  when  I  meet  a  special  woman,  I  want  to  find  a  vision  for  her.  I  want  to  
help  her  grow.  But  if  I  meet  her  at  the  bar,  is  that  the  first  thing  that's  going  to  
come  out?  No.  I'm  going  to  challenge  her  a  little  bit.  I'm  going  to  be  playful.  I'm  
going  to  run  some  game,  right?    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       Q&A
 
Have  fun.  All  the  same,  I'm  going  to  have  a  vision  for  her.  How  would  I  do  that?  
Well,  we’ll  get  to  that  tomorrow,  but  there's  a  specific  technique  where  we  start  
to  create  visions  together.  It's  called,  the  broad  form  is  called  future  projecting.  
You  familiar  with  future  projecting?    

Yeah,  very  simply  it's,  "Hey,  we  should  go  do  this  together."  So  you're  going  to  
start  having  visions  for  her.  You  can  still  be  challenging  and  you  can  still  take  it  
away.  "OK,  cool.  We  got  to  take  an  amazing  trip  together."    

Just  like,  don't  get  me  too  drunk  because  then  I'll  stat  hitting  on  other  girls.  That's  
something  Jason  Capital  might  say.  I  don’t  know  if  I  would  actually  say  that.  You  
take  it  away.  You  give  her  something  and  then  you  take  it  away.  You  can  have  
visions  for  her  right  when  you  meet  her  and  then  this  is  also  something  that  
you're  really  going  to  talk  about  on  second  dates.  This  stuff  might  come  up  on  first  
dates  like  vision  will  definitely  come  up  on  first  dates.  I'm  sorry,  second  dates,  but  
it  might  come  up  on  first  dates.  So  what  you  see  for  her.  

That  doesn't  mean  that  you're  not  going  to  be  mysterious.  You  could  talk  about  a  
vision  for  her  without  telling  her  anything  about  yourself.  I'm  not  encouraging  you  
to  do  that,  but  you  could  have  a  vision  for  her  without  talking  about  anything  
about  yourself.  

Growth  and  wanting  her  to  grow.  That's  definitely  something  that's  going  to  start  
to  express  herself  in  what  I'll  call  the  intimacy  phase.  We  haven't  gotten  to  the  
obsession  story,  we’re  about  to,  but  this  is  something  that's  going  to  start  to  
express  itself  in  the  intimacy  phase,  the  two  to  six  week  period  where  you're  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       Q&A
 
sleeping  together  but  you're  not  boyfriend  and  girlfriend  yet  and  onwards  into  
the  relationship.    

You  want  to  help  a  girl  grow.  I  hope  you  do.  I  do.  That's  something  that  if  I  were  
to,  if  I  were  to  break  up  today  and  be  single  the  next  girl  who  became  my  
girlfriend,  I  would  want  that  for  her.  I  would  want  growth.  That's  not  something  
I'm  going  to,  I'm  not  going  to  go  out  to  the  bar  and  be  like,  "Hey,  shot  of  tequila  
for  me  and  wheat  grass  for  you.  I  want  you  to  stay  healthy."  It's  not  going  to  be  
like  that.  Yeah,  that's  really  something  that's  going  to  express  itself  as  you  start  to,  
as  it  starts  to  congeal  as  a  relationship.    

Thrills.  There's  a  great  question  about  thrills  I  want  to  make  sure  I  sort  of  
encapsulate  it.  Thrills  is  something  that  you're  going  to  give  her  every  step  of  the  
way.  It's  something  that  you  want  to  continue  to  give  her  in  the  relationship,  
something  you  want  to  give  her  at  the  beginning  of  the  relationship.    

We  talked  about  the  short  text.  We  talked  about  the  thrill  of  wondering  about  
you.  That's  stuff  that  requires  no  money.  Now  I  sympathize.  You  said  I  work  all  the  
time  and  I  gotta  keep  my  money  coming  in  and  I  gotta  like,  I'm  tired  and  I  want  to  
work  out  and  this,  that  and  the  other  thing  to  do.  

Someone  also  asked  what  to  do  if  you  work  a  lot.  I  think  this  is  a  case  for  a  lot  of  
guys.  I  mean  Alex  has  talked  about  this.  Jason  talks  about  this.  Being  on  your  
mission  and  if  you're  working  a  lot  presumably  there's  hopefully  a  correlation  
between  the  work  you  do  and  the  mission  that  you  have.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       Q&A
 
I  feel  the  same  way.  I've  been  working  12,  14  hour  days  lately.  It's  tough.  A  couple  
things.  First  of  all  just  consciously  taking  the  time  and  space  away  from  work.  You  
can  have  your  mission,  but  if  there's  one  thing  I've  learned  from  Buddhists,  it's  
chill  the  fuck  out.  Buddhists  would  probably  be  like  well,  that's  not  actually  what  
we're  saying,  but  take  some  time  and  take  some  space  to  have  fun  and  enjoy  your  
life.  

The  first  segment  of  the  ten  code,  the  very  first  thing  I  teach  is  about  having  fun.  
Even  if  you're  working  a  lot  man,  you  gotta  make  space  to  have  fun,  you  gotta  
make  some  space  for  yourself.  That's  not  a  technique,  that's  just  make  some  
space.  I  find,  we're  getting  a  little  bit  off  topic,  but  I  hope  it's  a  useful  thought.  I  
find  that  in  my  life,  I  go  real  hard  for  periods  of  time,  maybe  a  week,  two  weeks,  a  
month  and  then  I  just  stop.  

I  own  the  business,  so  that's  kind  of  OK  for  me.  If  you  can  work  with  your  
employers  to  structure  something  like  that  in  your  life  and  maybe  not  take  a  full  
week  off,  but  maybe  just  a  long  weekend  and  just  stop.  Just  no  work.  Get  away  
from  it.  Enjoy  your  life.  Go  do  something  else.  Reward  yourself.  You  go  nuts  if  you  
don't.  Today  we're  recording  this  at  the  end  of  a  two  month  work  period  where  
I'm  surprised  I'm  actually  with  my  thoughts  right  now.  On  Monday,  I'm  off  for  a  
week.  

That's  number  one.  Number  two,  you  talked  about  what  do  you  talk  about  to  
create  that  spark,  to  create  that  desire  if  not  work?  Right?  I  love  to  talk  about  my  
work.  I  love  to  talk  about  my  mission.  I  mentioned  this  earlier  and  I'll  talk  about  it  
more  tomorrow,  lead  with  vision  and  values.  Lead  with  what's  important  to  you.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       Q&A
 
I'm  not  going  to,  if  I  was  on  a  date  tomorrow,  I  wouldn't  tell  a  girl  my  week  
leading  up  to  today  has  been  trouble  shooting  post  back  pixels  in  our  affiliate  
tracking  software,  signing  contracts  and  getting  anti-­‐fraud  software  in  place  for  
our  order  processing  and  just  boring  shit,  right?  Does  that  even  mean  anything  to  
you?  Trouble  shooting  post  back  pixels.  It  means  nothing  to  anybody  in  the  world  
except  for  20  people.    

That's  not  what  I  would  talk  about.  That's  not  what  I  would  talk  about.  I  would  
talk  about,  like  I  might  mention  that  and  I  would  be  like,  "Yeah,  you  know,  I  spent  
this  week  doing  the  most  skull-­‐numbing  of  activity.  It's  OK,  because  I  love  it.  What  
that  allows  me  to  do  is  I  can  share  this  with  a  few  more  people  and  get  a  few  
more  people  to  promote  my  program  and  that's  going  to  let  them  share  with  a  
few  more  guys."  So  I'm  going  to  bring  it  back  to  my  values.  

What  I  really  want  is  for  these  guys  to  experience  what  I  have  to  share  with  them.  
If  you  are  talking  about  work  and  we'll  talk  about  this  more  tomorrow,  but  lead  
with  vision  and  values.  In  terms  of  other  stuff  to  talk  about,  we're  going  to  give  
you  a  whole  bunch  of  great  questions,  really  fun  conversation  topics  that  are  
great  for  first  dates,  great  for  when  you  meet  a  girl.  All  that  stuff.  

If  there's  one  thing  that  I  hope  nobody  missed  today  or  if  you  did  let  me  just  make  
sure  it's  clear,  the  thrills  that  you're  going  to  give  a  girl  when  you  first  meet  her  
are  like,  it's  all  in  the  body  language,  it's  all  in  the  eye  contact,  it's  all  in  your  
attitude.  

You  saw  Nick  talk  to,  do  you  remember  what  Nick  was  saying  looking  at  you  like,  
"What  did  you  eat  for  breakfast  today?"  That's  the  thrill  right  there.  I  think  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       Q&A
 
something  that  hangs  up  a  lot  of  guys,  it  hung  me  up  for  years,  is  the  idea  that  I  
have  to  say  something  interesting  in  order  to  create  that  spark.  That's  not  what  it  
is.    

What  creates  that  spark  is  that  obsession  worthy  guy.  The  guy  who's  on  his  
mission.  Who  knows  howto  focus  his  attention.  The  guy  who's  confident  and  
dominant  and  challenging.  It's  when  he  looks  at  her  and  he  just  knows  it.  That's  
when  it's  on.  Right?  

When  you  saw  me  demonstrating  with  Alex  earlier,  I  could  have  just  been  talking  
about  whatever.  Oh,  she's  not  here  now,  but  it  could  have  been  like  "Yeah,  I  got  a  
new  iPhone.  This  thing  is  incredible.  When  I  touch  it,  have  you  touched  this  yet?  
Here,  touch  it.  Touch  it."  She  touches  it.  "Oh,  your  fingerprint  doesn't  match.  It's  
not  going  to  let  you  in.  Look  at  that."  

That's  like  the  thrill  that  you're  giving  her  at  the  beginning  of  the  relationship  in  
that  first  conversation.  It's  just  you  getting  off  of  work.  You  can  be  talking  about  
whatever  but  it's  in  that  playful  attitude,  that  challenging  attitude  that  you  have.  
That's  where  the  thrill  is  really  going  to  be  experienced  in  the  first  phase  of  the  
conversation.  

I've  been  trying  to  figure  out  how  to  teach  that  and  how  to  communicate  those  
words  for  the  last  five  years.  It's  one  of  these  things  that  you'll  hear  it  20  different  
times,  20  different  ways  and  then  you'll  hear  it  another  200  different  times,  200  
different  ways.  One  day  it's  going  to  click  for  you.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       Q&A
 
You're  going  to  be  talking  to  a  girl  and  maybe  you  watch  these  videos  like  20  
times  and  you're  just  watching  Nick  talk  to  Alex.  Watch  me  and  you're  just  going  
to  watch  it  and  watch  it  and  something's  going  to  click.  You're  going  to  be  like  Oh.  
Wow,  that's  so  simple.  It's  so  simple.  

I  can  just  talk  about  whatever  and  look  her  in  the  eye  and  create  that  sense  of  
excitement  in  her.  That's  how  you're  going  to  get  beyond  mundane  work  topics  
and  how  you're  going  to  talk  about  mundane  whatever  topics  but  still  create  
excitement  for  her.  That's  thrills.  

Just  to  return  to  the  bigger  picture  question  here  which  is  how  do  these  express  
themselves  in  a  relationships  and  during  dating?  Helping  her  become  better  in  
mind,  body  and  spirit.  You  can  do  this  on  a  date  if  you  wanted  to.  You  could,  I  
know  some  people  who  are  super  hardcore  Paleo's  and  others  who  are  like  crazy  
vegan's.  If  they  were  to  take  a  girl  on  a  date,  they  would  take  her  to  a  Paleo  
restaurant.  

My  buddy  John,  he  would  not  take  a  girl  to  a  pizza  place.  He  does  not  touch  
gluten  and  so  the  date  itself  would  be  like  right  at  the  start  of  the  relationship  he's  
trying  to  bring  her  into  his  values  of  like,  I  want  what's  better  for  everybody  and  I  
believe  in  healthiness,  so  here's  some  chicken  liver  baby.  

For  him,  that's  where  he's  bringing  betterment  into  the  relationship.  Right  
upfront.  Some  of  the  other  stuff,  meditating  or  praying  together.  If  you're  part  of  
the  Christian  community  then  that's  probably  something  that  you're  going  to  be  
doing  anyway  or  some  other  religious  denomination.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       Q&A
 
Mind  altering  experiences,  well  if  you're  into  that  stuff,  you'll  probably  know  if  the  
girl  is  into  it  pretty  early  on.  Let's  see.  Giving  her  pleasure.  Making  her  feel  good.  
We  talked  about  leading  with  laughter  and  smiles.  When  I'm  talking  to  a  girl,  right  
at  the  start  of  the  conversation  it's  like  yeah,  I  want  to  give  her  pleasure.  I  want  to  
give  everybody  pleasure.    

My  goal  when  I  walk  down  the  street,  except  in  New  York.  Sometimes  I  want  to  
smack  people  in  the  face,  but  all  the  other  times  I  want  to  make  people  happy.  I  
just  want  to  give  people  pleasure.  It's  cool  way  to  live  your  life.  

The  same  token,  there's  that  old  Steve  Jobs  line,  my  job  isn't  to  make  people  feel  
good  about  themselves.  My  job  is  to  make  them  work  harder  or  become  better.  
Something  like  that,  but  that's  growth.  That's  growth.  

An  example.  An  example  of  how  you  treat  a  woman.  Here's  a  great  example.  It's  
something  that  was  drilled  into  me  as  a  kid,  not  drilled  so  to  speak,  but  that  I  saw  
again  and  again  as  a  kid,  is  every  time  my  mother  would  come  back  to  the  table  
when  we  were  out  to  eat,  my  dad  would  stand  up  ever  so  gently.    I  don't  know  if  
you  guys  have  seen  this.  It's  kind  of  a  polite  dude  thing  to  do.  Is  the  woman  walks  
back  from  the  bathroom  and  the  dude  stands  up  ever  so  gently  and  then  he  sits  
back  down  to  eat.  

I  just  saw  that  as  a  kid  again  and  again  and  again,  so  I'm  going  to  do  that  on  the  
first  date  unless  it's  maybe  the  second  date.  It's  a  nice  restaurant.  Maybe  not  a  
pizza  place,  but  that's  where  I  would  like  ...  And  you  can  still  be  challenging.  You  
can  still  mysterious.  You  can  still  be  all  those  things.  If  that's  just  a  characteristic  
of  like  hey,  I  think  that's  how  a  man  should  treat  a  woman.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       Q&A
 
Another  great  one  is  walking  down  the  streets,  we  always  laugh  about  this  one,  
whenever  we  walk  down  the  street  it's  been  drilled  into  me,  stand  on  the  outside.  
Right?  Which  is  silly  because  if  a  car  comes  ...  The  idea  is,  if  you  guys  haven't  
heard  this  one,  if  a  car  comes  down  the  street  and  careens  off  the  side  of  the  road  
the  man  will  die  instead  of  the  woman  because  you're  standing  on  the  outside  of  
the  street.  

It's  the  chivalrous  thing  to  do.  When  I  say  drilled  into  me,  it's  not  like  it  was  
beaten  into  me  or  anything.  It's  just  I  saw  it  all  the  time  so  it  became  core  value  of  
mine.  It  sort  of  became  something  that  happens.  

 
It  happens  on  first  dates,  second  dates  very  early  on  and  it  still  happens  to  this  
day  most  of  the  time.  What's  best  for  her.  That's  something  that's  going  to  
express  itself  later  in  the  relationship.  So  I  hope  that  helps  give  you  some  context.  
Does  that  answer  your  question  with  a  little  bit  more  depth?  How  do  you  use  
these  things?  When  do  you  use  these  things  when  they  express  themselves?  All  
right.  Cool.

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 

CHAPTER 11: THE OBSESSION STORY

So  the  last  segment  of  the  day  is  called  the  Dating  Game.    And  one  of  the  things  
that  I've  found  over  there  years  and  I'm,  no  I'm  not  the  only  one  who  feels  this  
way,  and  I  know  that  because  one  of  the  lines  in  our  sales  letter  talks  about  how  
dating  seems  like  a  labyrinth,  like  there  are  a  thousand  ways  to  get  it  wrong  and  
only  one  way  to  get  it  right.      

That's  how  dating  felt  for  me  for  years,  so  in  this  segment  all  I  want  to  do  is  give  
you  an  overview  of  the  dating  game  from  the  three  different  layers.    The  first  
layer  is  the  obsession  story  itself.    Four  different  phases  that  she's  going  to  go  
through  that  sort  of  mirror  the  heroin  in  the  Literotica  books.    That's  the  first  
phase  or  layer  that  we  talked  about.    The  next  one  is  investment.    Investment  is  a  
real  key  concept.    Jason  talked  about  it  a  little  bit  earlier.    You  probably  heard  me  
mentioning  it  on  and  off,  basically  the  question  is  how  invested  in  you  is  a  
woman.  

I'm  going  to  show  you  the  different  levels  of  investment  she  can  have.    The  third  
phase  is  what's  called  the  check  points.    The  check  points  is  how  we  commonly  
refer  to  dating.    It's  going  to  be  very  obvious  stuff;  when  you  meet  here,  when  
you  get  her  number,  first  kiss  and  all  of  that.    I  want  to  show  you  guys  how  those  
three  things  align;  bless  you;  how  those  three  things  align,  the  obsession  story,  
the  investment  ladder  and  the  checkpoints,  so  that  when  you  are  on  the  second  
date  you're  like,  "OK,  here's  where  we  are  on  the  obsession  story.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
Here's  probably  what  she's  experiencing  right  now  in  terms  of  her  feelings  for  me,  
and  here  are  the  emotions  and  here's  how  invested  she  is  in  me.    And  that's  going  
to  give  you  the  flexibility  to  react  and  manage  the  situation,  and  have  a  little  bit  of  
strength  in  yourself.    One  of  the  things  that  I  think  is  so  so  so  pivotal  in  being  great  
with  women,  Jason  talked  about  indifference.  

It  was  funny  when  I  heard  him  talk  about  that,  excuse  me  (clear  throat),    because  
when  I've  liked  a  girl,  I've  never  been  indifferent.    I  know  it.    I'm  like  "shit,  I  like  
this  girl,  I'm  in  trouble."    And  I  try  not  to  speak  about  personal  life  too  much,  but  
to  just  borrow  a  quick  anecdote  from  my  current  relationship,  I  remember  we've  
been  on  two  dates  and  there  had  been  one  kiss  on  each  date,  a  small  one.        

Actually  there  had  been  a  kiss  on  the  first  date,  and  then  a  kiss  when  we  saw  each  
other  on  the  west  side  high  way.    I  was  nervous.    "OK  does  she  like  me,  does  she  
not  like  me."    I  remember  I  was  at  the  Mets  Game  with  my  buddies,  and  it's  kind  
of  a  close  game  which  I  think  strange  for  the  Mets.  ...    I  was  at  the  Mets  game,  it  
was  a  close  game,  and  I  was  inviting  her  to  a  party  later  that  evening.    And  I  sent  
here  a  text  message.    We'd  been  texting  back  and  forth,  and  I  had  a  pretty  good  
indication  that  she  liked  me;  we  had  been  texting  back  and  forth.  

I  asked  her  to  go  to  the  party  and  I  didn't  hear  back  for  quite  a  while.    Maybe  like  
40  minutes  or  so.    And  I  know  we've  all  been  there.    That  was  one  of  the  longest  
40  minutes  of  my  life  for  that  year  period.    Because  I  was  like,  "Is  she  going  to  
respond."    And  I  was  not  paying  attention  to  the  game,  I'm  kind  of  in  my  head,  
and  I  realized  something  in  that  moment.    And  this  is  why  I  talked  about  earlier  
"giving  the  gift  of  thrills  to  someone."      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
Because  this  is  amazing  that  I  feel  this  way  right  now.    I  don't  have  control  over  
my  emotions  at  this  moment.    Maybe  if  I  could  go  to  a  psychologist  ans  ask  for  a  
Xanax  prescription  and  like  pop  one,  then  I  could  calm  down  a  little  bit.    But  I  
don't  have  control  of  my  emotions  at  this  moment,  and  I  am  focused  on  her.    
What  should  I  do  about  this  right  now?  

I  realized  that  the  only  thing  that  I  could  do  in  that  moment  was  just  enjoy  the  
fact  that  I  felt  this  way  about  that  girl.    And  that  wherever  it  went  from  here,  I'm  
not  indifferent  to  her.    I  care.    I  care  about  this  outcome.    If  we  don't  continue  to  
date,  I'm  not  going  to  go  out  and  bang  20  other  girls,  I'm  going  to  mourn  the  loss  
briefly  but  I  will.    And  If  we  do  continue  to  date,  amazing,  that  tells  me  something.      

That  tells  me  that  these  feeling  that  I'm  feeling,  this  fear,  this  anxiety,  is  she  going  
to  write  me  back,  these  emotions  that  don't  feel  great,  that  kind  of  capture  us  and  
take  us  away  from  everything  else,  I  kind  of  don’t  want  them  to  be  there,  but  god  
dam  I'm  glad  that  they're  there.    That  says  something  about  me,  that  says  
something  about  this  girl;  that's  really  magical.      

While  we  are  going  to  understand  and  dissect  the  dating  game,  I  just  wanted  to  
share  that  with  you  guys  because  we  often  get  caught  up  in  those  zones,  and  
sometimes  those  zones  can  last  for  weeks  or  months.  

If  you're  dwelling  on  a  girl  for  weeks  or  months  then  you  are  probably  in  the  
friend  zone,  and  you  need  to  do  some  other  stuff,  which  we'll  talk  about  
tomorrow.    But  if  you  feel  that  way  about  a  girl,  that's  not  a  bad  thing.    I  just  want  
to  point  that  out.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
So  with  that  in  mind  let's  jump  into  the  obsession  story.    We'll  talk  about  the  
obsession  with  a  man.    As  I  broke  down  the  obsessions  story  in  the  Literotica  
books  it  was  basically  four  phases.    Impression,  inspection,  intimacy,  and  love.    
Let's  review  those  again.    Impression,  inspection,  intimacy,  and  love.    Impression  
is  from  meeting  her  to  getting  her  number.      

You  made  an  impression,  you  got  her  number.    Inspection  is  from  texting,  it  use  to  
be  phone  calls  right,  but  these  days  from  texting  to  sex.    Intimacy  is  from  sex  to  
relationship,  and  then  in  love  is  from  relationship  and  on  words.  

As  Evan  and  I  were  talking  about  this,  we  like  the  metaphor:  Resume,  interview,  
internship;  job.    Something  like  that.    So  I'm  just  going  to  give  you  a  very  high  level  
overview  of  what  we're  going  to  be  learning  in  each  of  these  phases  because  
tomorrow  the  whole  day  is  going  to  be  talking  about  what  to  do  in  each  phase.      

Right  now  this  is  just  the  table  of  contents  for  what  we're  going  to  learn  
tomorrow.    That's  an  open  loop  by  the  way.    As  I  said,  impression  is  from  when  
you  meet  her  to  when  she's  decided  she  wants  to  see  you  more.    That's  when  you  
know  impression  is  over.    And  that's  when  you  can  ask  for  her  phone  number.    
One  of  the  things  Nick  talked  about  is  like,  "dude  if  you  don't  ask  for  her  phone  
number,  she's  not  going  to  offer  it  to  you."        

Now  impression  can  be,  it  can  take  an  instance,  you  saw  earlier  when  I  was  
demonstrating  with  Alex,  "I  find  you  very  attractive,  give  me  your  number."    In  
that  moment  I  can  make  an  impression  or  I  can  take  two  minutes,  five  minutes,  
ten  minutes  in  deep  conversation.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
But  the  key  point  of  impression,  here's  how  you  know  you're  moving  down;  here's  
what  it  should  feel  like  to  her,  is  you  are  occupying  space  in  here  mind.    If  you  
made  the  right  impression  and  at  the  end  of  this  phase  what  you  have  done  is  
that  you  are  occupying  space  in  her  mind.    And  that's  the  key  part  of  the  
obsession  story  is  the  heroin  meets  this  guy,  and  she's  kind  of  been  going  about  
her  life,  and  her  life  is  fine,  maybe  a  little  mundane,  but  she  meets  this  one  guy  
and  this  one  guys  stands  out  and  occupies  space  in  her  mind.      

That's  what  you  want  to  do  with  your  first  impression.    The  goal  of  this  phase;  
what  is  the  goal?    Is  to  get  her  to  start  opening  up  about  her  life  a  little  bit.    You  
can,  again,  I  showed  you,  she  didn't  open  up  about  her  life  at  all.    It's  at  that  first  
conversation  maybe  at  a  party,  maybe  at  a  bar,  maybe  through  friends,  if  you  can  
you  need  to  get  her  to  open  up  about  her  life  a  little  bit.  

So  what  are  we  going  to  cover  tomorrow  in  the  impression  phase,  we've  already  
given  you  a  fair  amount  of  examples  today,  but  here's  what  we're  going  to  
specifically  cover  tomorrow:  how  to  make  and  impression  on  her  before  you  even  
meet  her,  before  you  even  open  your  mouth.    How  to  talk  to  her  if  you  are  
introduced  to  her,  how  to  actually  do  the  mechanics  of  it.    How  to  approach  her.      

We  showed  you  a  fair  number  examples  of  approaching,  Nick  is  going  to  come  
back  tomorrow  and  talk  all  about  approaching  girls.  Because  I  don't  know  
anybody  who  is  better  at  it.    Maybe  Jason,  but  probably  not.    I  don't  know;  I  put  
them  toe  to  toe.    Conversation  stuff.    So  what  do  you  actually  say  to  a  girl  to  make  
that  strong  impression  on  her?    This  is  something  that  I  became  quite  good  at,  
and  it's  not  actually  that  hard.    And  finally  resetting  an  impression.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
It's  funny.    One  of  the  things,  it's  in  our  sales  letter  is  "subtle  but  sneaky  
technique,"  that  you  can  use  to  turn  a  girl's  impression  around  if  she's  put  you  in  
the  friend  zone.    Warning,  girls  can  be  very  sexually  aggressive  if  they  want  to  
prove  themselves  to  you.    I  forgot  to  include  that  last  time  in  the  product.    You  
wouldn't  believe  how  many  guys  write  in,  "yo,  I  bought  the  product  for  that  
specific  technique."  "Gosh."      

So  I  email  it  to  them.    But  it's  not  in  the  version  one  of  the  products.    I  just  can't  
wait  to  tell  you  guys  about  this  because  it's  really  funny  how  it  works,  and  it  works  
very  well.    So  we  are  going  to  show  you  how  to  reset  an  impression  if  you're  in  the  
friends  zone.    That's  impression  and  that's  what  we're  going  to  learn  tomorrow.      

Stage  two,  Like  I  said  is  inspection,  this  is  where,  and  to  answer  your  question  
from  earlier,  if  Impression  is  from  where  you  meet  her  to  where  she  decides  she  
wants  to  see  you  more,  inspection  is  where  boyfriend  value  starts  to  express  
itself.    This  is  where  all  of  those  things  where  we  talked  about  in  the  last  segment  
really  start  to  come  out.    It's  the  dating  process.      

The  question  that  she's  going  through  in  this  process  is,  "am  I  going  to  give  myself  
to  this  man?"    What  we  want  to  flip  it  too  is,  "will  this  man  let  me  give  myself  to  
him?"    And  of  course  there's  going  to  be  some  mutual  inspection.    We  love  it  if  we  
always  had  the  power,  always  had  the  control.    I'm  going  to  give  you  guys  the  
tools  to  have  as  much  control  as  I  can,  but  there  will  be  some  woman  who  are  
always,  they're  beautiful,  they're  smart,  they're  intelligent,  maybe  they're  none  of  
those  things  but  they  still  manage  to  maintain  their  power.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
The  goal  of  this  phase,  you  know  this  phase  is  over  when  you've  entered  a  sexual  
relationship.    And  that's  sort  of  a  gross  generalization  right,  because  there  are  
girls  who  you  will  go  out  and  you'll  have  sex  with  that  night,  and  you're  not  in  the  
inspection  stage  yet  because  you  just  met  her  and  you  need  to  have  a  moment.    If  
you  follow  a  normal  dating  protocol,  you  meet  her,  a  couple  of  dates,  and  then  
you  end  up  having  sex,  this  phase  ends  when  the  sexual  relationship  really  begins.      

What  we  are  going  to  teach  you  tomorrow,  we're  going  to  teach  you  one  of  my  
very  best  and  most  important  texting  techniques.    Texting  is  something  that  hangs  
up  a  lot  of  guys.    We  got  a  whole  program  about  it,  I  know  some  of  you  guys  have  
seen  it,  how  to  text  her,  but  I'm  going  to  teach  you  the  very  best  stuff  from  that  
course.    I'm  also  going  to  give  you  step  by  step  dates:  first  date,  second  date,  third  
date,  these  are  the  things  to  do.      

I'm  going  to  have  another  wonderful  woman  in  here  to  demonstrate  dating  
conversations  and  how  to  talk  to  her,  how  to  grab  her  hand  when  walking  down  
the  street,  stuff  like  that.    How  to  create  conversation  chemistry  and  Romance,  
and  how  to  create  amazing  sexual  excitement.  

I'm  going  to  give  you  a  preview  of  all  this  stuff  today,  I'm  going  to  show  you  how  
and  when  to  apply  it  tomorrow.    As  I  mention  we'll  go  from  she's  expecting  me  to  
at  least  paradi,  where  you  guys  are  inspecting  each  other,  or  possible  the  reverse  
where  you  are  inspecting  her.    So  that's  the  inspection  phase.    The  third  phase  is  
intimacy.      

Intimacy  is  the  2  to  6  week  period  where  you  are  sleeping  with  a  girl  but  you  don't  
have  a  label  on  the  relationship  yet.    The  way  I'd  like  to  think  of  this  phase  is  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
you're  giving  her  space,  but  at  the  same  time  you're  lighting  up  here  life.    So  
you're  not  overwhelming  her,  but  every  time  she  sees  you  she  feels  happy,  she  
feels  elated  she  feels  excited.    

The  goal  of  this  phase,  is  an  emotional  relationship.    So  if  the  goal  of  the  last  
phase,  the  goal  of  inspection  is  to  get  to  a  sexual  relationship  with  her,  the  goal  of  
the  intimacy  phase  is  to  have  an  emotional  relationship  with  her.    One  where  she  
opens  her  heart  to  you.  

When  we  were  working  through  this  program,  Evan  and  I,  we  were  really  trying  to  
like  figure  out  what's  the  configuration,  how  do  we  pull  all  these  concepts  
together,  and  we  came  up  with  a  slightly,  offensive  is  the  wrong  word,  but  a  
slightly  crude  way  to  describe  the  two  phases,  the  three  phases.    

In  impression  she  opens  her  phone  book  to  you,  in  inspection  she  opens  her  legs  
to  you,  in  intimacy  she  opens  her  heart  to  you.    So  intimacy  ends,  the  phase  ends,  
and  you  know  you've  gone  past  the  intimacy  phase,  when  she  trusts  in  your  
masculine  strength,  and  feels  like  the  woman  who  she  always  wanted  to  be  with  
the  man  who  she  is  dating.    I'll  say  that  one  more  time.    She  trusts  in  your  
masculine  strength.    All  those  things,  those  six  things  that  we've  showed,  those  six  
traits  that  we've  showed  in  the  beginning  of  the  course,  she  trusts  that  that  is  
real.  

"He  is  a  challenging  man."    He  is  mysterious  but  he's  opened  up  to  me,  he's  
opened  his  heart  to  me.    He  is  dominant.    He  didn't  just  come  pick  up  me  in  a  bar,  
I  see  how  he  interacts  with  other  guys,  he  is  a  dominant  mother  fucker.    So  she  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
learns  to  trust  in  your  masculine  strength    at  the  end  of  this  phase,  and  she  feels  
like  the  woman  she  always  wanted  to  be  in  your  eyes.    

 What  you  will  learn  in  this  phase,  this  is  much  shorter  but  I  will  give  you  more  
step  by  step  dates,  I'll  tell  you  how  to  keep  her  hooked  without  pushing  her  away.    
There  is  always  that  tension,  I  know,  you  sleep  with  a  girl  once  or  twice,  you're  
like,  "oh  great  it's  on,  it's  amazing,"  and  then  somehow  she  just  fizzles  into  thin  
air,  so  I'll  show  you  how  to  not  have  that  happen.    Finally  we'll  talk  about  how  to  
become  official,  how  to  have  the  talk.      

Most  of  what  we  will  be  covering  tomorrow  is  going  to  be  impression  and  
inspection.    Those  are  the  bulk  of  it.    Intimacy  is  just  going  to  be  like  just  more  of  
the  same  but  with  slightly  different  tactics.  

The  final  phase  is  in  love,  that's  when  you  are  enjoying  the  love  of  your  life.    This  
is  where  you  have  given  in  and  so  has  she.    You  are  going  to  start  deal  with  new  
challenges  in  this  phase.    You  are  dealing  with  Jealousy,  you're  dealing  with  trust.    
You're  dealing  with  ongoing  excitement,  keeping  the  relationship  spicy,  and  
everything  else  that  comes  with  relationships.      

Frankly  that's  not  the  focus  of  this  program,  we're  going  to  leave  that  for  another  
course  that  I  hope  I  have  the  time  to  create  one  day.    I  probably  need  to  develop  a  
little  bit  more  wisdom  before  I  do  in  that  area.    But  that  is  In  Love.    And  we  will  be  
covering  a  lot  of  inspection  and  intimacy  tomorrow.    So  that's  in  a  nutshell,  the  
obsession  story.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
I'll  just  repeat  it  one  more  time.    Impression,  inspection,  intimacy  and  love.    We  
have  an  idea  of,  to  be  very  crude,  she  opens  her  phone  book,  she  opens  her  legs,  
she  opens  her  heart.    That's  what's  going  on.  

The  next  layer  of  the  dating  game  is  what  I  call  the  investment  ladder.    It's  how  
invested  in  you  is  she.    How  invested  in  the  relationship  is  she.    There  is  about,  I  
don't  know  how  many,  six,  seven;  one,  two,  three,  four,  five,  six,  there  are  seven  
phases  of  investment  that  I'm  going  to  walk  you  guys  through  in  a  moment.    And  
this  will  really  give  you;  you  will  be  like,  "OK  she's  doing  this,  great  I'm  here."      

But  before  I  give  you  that  stuff,  I  want  to  talk  a  little  theory,  and  if  you  hadn't  had  
your  caffeine,  now  might  be  a  good  time,  or  suck  on  that  e-­‐cigarette  or  whatever.    
This  just  gets  a  little  bit  technical  and  a  bit  heavy  but  I'm  going  to  try  to  keep  it  as  
fun  as  possible.    So  why  do  we  invest  in  something?    We  invest  in  something  that  
we  value.    We  value  something,  we  invest  in  it.    I  value,  to  dates,  I  value  Iphones,  
so  I  invest  in  it  with  my  money.    I  value  Facebook  as  a  company  so  to  date  so  I  
valued  it  a  long  time  ago  so  I  invested  in  it.  

We  invest  in  things  that  we  value.    A  good  relationship  with  a  woman,  is  where  
there  are  equal  levels  of  value  and  investment,  where  you  value  her,  and  where  
she  values  you  at  equal  levels.    And  we're  investing  in  each  other  equally.    Now  
Alex,  Jason,  gave  us  some  great  ways  to  make  her  work  for  you  and  invest  more,  
we  all  heard  about  how  chasing,  or  creating  a  chase,  and  being  challenging,  is  a  
great  way  to  get  a  woman  to  invest  in  you.      And  being  on  your  mission  being  on  
your  path,  is  a  great  way  to  get  a  woman  to  invest  in  you.    

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
The  reason  that  we  talk  about  this  stuff  so  much,  is  because,  and  we  talked  
earlier,  "lead  with  vision  and  values."    Why  do  you  lead  with  vision  and  values?    Is  
because  that  she's  not,  you  could  have  the  nicest  car  in  the  world,  you  could  take  
her  on  nice  trips,  if  she  doesn't  buy  into  who  you  are  as  a  human  being,  the  values  
that  drive  you,  the  things  that  make  you  you,  then  it's  not  a  real  relationship,  she  
just  bought  into  the  surface  level  of  you.  

You  are  going  to  get  her  to  invest  in  you  by  leading  with  you're  vision  and  you're  
values,  who  you  really  are.    The  second  part  of  it  is  creating  compelling  emotional  
experiences  for  her.    And  that's  again  a  lot  of  what  we're  going  to  talk  about  
tomorrow.    So  there  is  the  game,  this  whole  dating  game,  the  way  I  like  to  think  
about  it  is,  it's  finding  a  girl  who  you  value  enough  to  invest  in.    And  being  the  
value  that  she  wants  to  invest  in.      

I'm  going  to  say  that  one  more  time:    Finding  the  girl  who  you  value  enough  to  
invest  in  and  being  the  value  that  she  wants  to  invest  in,  because  let's  face  it,  
there's  going  to  be    a  day  when  you're  out  on  a  date,  and  the  bill's  going  to  come,  
and  she's  going  to  look  at  you  and  you're  going  to  look  at  her,  and  there's  going  to  
be  that  moment  of  who's  paying  for  this.    If  you  asked  her  out,  it's  probably  the  
right  thing  to  do  to  cover  the  check.    Some  women  are  totally  OK  taking  care  of  it  
for  themselves.      

But  at  that  moment  you  have  to  make  a  real  monetary  investment  in  her.    A  lot  of  
guys  these  days  find  this  unfair.    It's  just  kind  of  how  the  dating  game  is.    
Economically  we've  advanced  in  our  society.    Women  have,  I  won't  get  too  far  off  
topic  on  this  but,  the  middle  class  jobs  that  use  to  be  held  by  men  are  largely  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
being  replaced  by  women,  and  women  are  on  average,  earning  the  same  or  more.    
Not  at  the  highest  end  but  on  average  they're  earning  the  same  or  more  than  
men.    Most  men  find  this  very  unfair.      

We  live  in  this  age  where  in  the  last  30  years,  women's  economic  development  
has  just  exploded  but  the  rules  of  the  dating  game  we're  playing  by  are  still  rules  
that  have  existed  for  hundreds  of  years.    Is  it  unfair?    Maybe.    Are  those  the  rules?    
Yeah.    I've  been  doing  this  for  15  years,  I  know  no  way  around  it  other  than  the  
fact  to  accept  the,  if  you  want  to  call  it  injustice  you  can  call  it  that,  or  if  you  just  
want  to  call  it  progress  in  society,  that's  how  I  like  to  think  of  it  too  because  I  think  
it's  great  that  women  have  made  the  progress  that  they've  made.      

I  think  it  just  requires  that  we  step  up.    We're  in  a  transitionary  phase  right  now,  
and  maybe  it  won't  always  be  like  this,  but  this  is  the  age  that  we  live  in.    Seek  
truth.    This  is  the  truth  at  the  moment.    Deal  with  it  as  it  is.    With  that  in  mind,  
you're  going  to  have  to  invest  in  a  woman.    The  first  part  is  finding  a  woman  who  
you    value  enough  to  invest  in.      

You've  heard  a  lot  today  about  abundance,  about  being  challenging,  about  being  
a  great  guy  about  being  on  your  mission.    If  you  truly  believe  in  your  own  value,  
then  you  are  going  to  challenge  women,  you  are  going  to  screen  women,  you  are  
going  to  wait  until  you  find  that  woman  who  you  really  value,  to  really  start  
investing  in  her.    SO  we'll  talk  about  how  that  plays  out  in  a  dating  context  in  a  
little  bit.      

Dating  is  really  determining  there  is  a  value  fit.    DO  you  guys  really  value  each  
other.    Not  just  physically,  but  in  terms  of  the  real  values  that  the  two  of  you  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
have.    Could  you  raise  a  family  together,  could  spend  time  together,  do  you  like  
the  same  things.    One  more  thing  on  value  before  we  move  on.    This  is  what  I  
think:    One  of  the  most  important  things  I  had  to  share  with  anyone,  is  three  
forms  of  value  that  you  can  develop  in  yourself.      

We  talked  about  earlier  today  we  talked  about  a  whole  bunch  of  traits,  again  
challenging,  mysterious,  so  on  and  so  forth.    Those  are  a  few  good  things  that  you  
can  develop  within  yourself  to  become  a  session  worthy  man.    To  become  what  I  
would  like  to  think  of  as  a  whole  man,  some  of  you  will  be  familiar  with  the  terms,  
primary,  passive  and  active  value  if  you've  read  my  material.      

This  is  a  big  revelation  to  me  years  ago,  when  I  was  fucking  up  in  my  life  again  and  
again  and  again,  I  thought  I  need  a  framework  for  developing  myself,  and  
becoming  a  better  man.    I  need  to  figure  out  a  way  to  stop  fucking  up.  

I  need  to  elevate  myself  on  a  number  of  levels.    And  I  thought  about  it,  and  
thought  about  it  and  thought  about  it,  and  this  is  the  framework  that  I  came  up  
with.    When  you  maxed  out  all  these  things  and  it's  not  surprising,  I  build  a  
program  called  the  Ten  Code  that's  all  about  maxing  these  things  out  in  your  life.    
When  you  max  out  these  things  you  become  this  incredible  man  of  value  who  
maybe  he's  not  indifferent,  maybe  he's  not  needy,  he's  on  his  mission,  he's  
fucking  awesome.      

Those  three  things  are  primary,  passive  and  active  value.    Primary  value:    The  fire  
that  burns  inside  of  you.    If  you  don't  feel  that  on  a  daily  basis,  I  would  suggest  
that  you  are  not  living  the  best  life  you  can  live  as  a  man,  if  you  don't  wake  up  
everyday  and  feel  a  fire  burying  inside  of  you  to  do  something  epic,  to  do  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
something  important,  to  do  something  meaningful  to  you.    If  you  don't  feel  that,  I  
would  suggest  are  not  living  your  best  life  as  a  man.    That  is  primary  value  
because  everything  else  comes  from  primary  value.  

The  strength  that  I  have  when  I  speak.    The  love  that  I'm  able  to  share.    The  
energy  that  I  have  to  just  live  my  life  it  comes  from  that  primary  value.    When  I  
was  living  kind  of  a  fucked  up  existence,  I  didn't  feel  any  of  that.    That  is  primary  
value.    Everything  flows  from  the  fire  inside  of  you.    Passive  value  is  the  world  you  
create.    A  lot  of  getting  a  woman  to  approach  you  has  to  do  with  creating  great  
passive  value.    The  world  you  create.    The  example  I  always  like  to  use  at  passive  
value  is  Jay-­‐Z.    If  you  go  out  to  night  clubs,  you've  no  doubt  danced  to  a  JZ  song.    
Or  Avici,  let's  say  Avici,  he's  very  popular  right  now.    "Wake  me  up."    An  incredible  
song.    

So  you  go  out.    You  dance  to  Avici.    Now  all  of  a  sudden  Avici  enters  the  venue.    
He's  created  value  before  he  even  met  you  because  you've  danced  to  his  songs,  
and  been  happy,  and  smiled  to  them,  and  pored  champagne  on  your  friends,  all  to  
the  tune  to  Avice.    See  he  created  value  before  he  even  met  you.    That's  a  perfect  
example  of  passive  value.    Very  few  of  us  will  be  able  to  create  that  in  the  world.    
Not  at  least    at  that  level.    But  we  can  create  passive  level  on  our  own  lives  that  
women  find  very  attractive.    I'm  going  to  tell  you  guys  about  how  to  do  that  
tomorrow.  

Then  active  value  is  how  you  make  people  feel  when  you  are  with  them.    It's  the  
intensity  of  mixed  eye  contact.    It's  the  strength  of  Jason's  conviction.    It's  just  the  
dance.    It's  the  mechanics  for  sure.    The  things  that  we've  been  showing  you  how  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
to  do.    Things  we'll  continue  to  show  you  tomorrow,  but  it's  also  the  intention  
that  you  bring  into  it.    We've  talked  about  eye  contact,  we've  talked  about  just  
what  I'm  thinking  when  I  talk  to  a  girl.      

You  guys  were  telling  me  earlier  sort  of  those  mental  shifts  that  you    have,  so  it's  
all  of  those  things.    As  a  frame  work  to  think  about  for  self  development,  I  think  
that  those  are  three  great  areas  to  develop  in  your  own  life.    Again,  in  the  Ten  
Code,  I  have  shared  my  frame  work  for  what  I  developed  in  my  own  life.    I'm  
pretty  happy  with  who  I  am.    That's  why  I'm  happy  to  share  it.    Other  people  
might  find  other  ways  to  develop  it.    If  you  max  out  those  things  your  primary,  
your  active,  your  passive  value,  and  when  I  say  max  amount,  there's  never  a  ten.    
You  are  always  growing,  you  are  always  going  to  another  level.  

But  if  you're  working  on  maxing  them  out  women  will  invest  in  you.    So  let's  talk  
about  the  investment  ladder,    This  is  where  we  bring  it  back  to  practical.    The  
investment  ladder  is  what  here  levels  of  investment  in  you,  emotionally  and  with  
there  time,  that  she  is  going  feel  as  part  of  the  dating  process,  and  we  can  actually  
match  these  up  to  the  obsession  story.    The  very  first  phase  of  investment  is  
neutral.      

She  doesn't  know  you,  she  doesn't  care.    She  don't  give  a  fuck.    That's  the  first  
phase  of  investment.    She's  totally  un-­‐invested.    The  next  phase  of  the  investment  
ladder  is,  Intrigued.    She's  aware  of  you  and  she's  curious.    SO  you  can  intrigue  her  
by  talking  to  her,  but  you  can  also  intrigue  her  without  talking  to  her.    If  you're  
able  to  create  a  lot  of  passive  value,  which  I'll  show  you,  again  and  we  will  talk  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
about  all  this  stuff  tomorrow,  you  can  make  her  intensely  intrigued  without  ever  
having  met  you.    That's  a  great  way  to  enter  into  a  conversation.      

Next  phase  after  intrigued  is:  engaged.    She's  thinking  about  you  and  she's  
spending  time  with  you.    'OK  she's  engaged  with  me,  cool."    The  next  level  is  
compliance.    She  does  little  things  for  you  when  you  ask  her.    Simple  example  
would  be,  "of  hey  I'm  about  to  use  the  restroom  would  you  mind  watching  my  
drink."    A  lot  of  guys  fuck  this  up.      

That  was  a  classic  pick  up  artist  technique,  is  try  to  get  a  girl  to  watch  their  drink  
when  they  go  to  the  bathroom,  and  they  would  do  it  before  they  actually  were  in  
that  phase,  to  try  to  get  the  girl  to  be  in  that  phase,  because  they  weren't  able  to  
read  it.      

But  compliant  is  that  she  does  little  things  for  you  when  she  asks.    The  next  phase  
is,  investment.    And  by  the  way,  just  to  add  some  more  clarity  to  that,  compliant,  
and  another  one  is,  she  goes  out  on  a  date  when  you  ask.    She  responds  when  you  
text.    So  that's  like  compliant.    

The  next  phase  is  invested.    Usually  this  will  be  one  date,  maybe  two  dates,  and  
she  wants  to  see  if  a  successful  relationship  is  possible  with  you.    She's  invested  in  
the  idea  of  a  future  with  you.    Phase  after  that  is  chasing.    So  she's  actively  going  
out  of  her  way  for  you,  and  she's  actively  thoughtful.    And  the  final  phase  of  
investment  is:  committed;  she's  chosen  you  to  the  exception  of  all  the  other  
options  out  there.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
I  know  that's  heavy  conceptual  stuff,  I'll  run  through  them  again  real  quickly.    
Neutral,  she  doesn't  know  shit  about  you.    Intrigued,  she's  aware,  she's  curious  
about  you,  engaged  she's  thinking  about  you,  she's  spending  a  little  bit  of  time  
with  you;  compliant,  she's  doing  little  things  when  you  ask  her  to  do  little  things.      

Invested;  she  wants  to  see  if  a  successful  is  possible,  she's  like  kind  of  in  it  right  
now.    She's  like,  "OK,  I'm  in  it."    Chasing,  she  goes  out  of  her  way  to  do  things  for  
you.    Committed,  she's  chosen  you  to  the  exception  of  other  options.    That's  the  
investment  ladder.  

Now,  chances  are  that  makes  sense  intuitively.    You  guys  are  like,  "oh  I've  gotten  
to  that  phase  with  a  girl,  like  I  got  there,  I  got  here;  I  get  it  I  get  it."    The  thing  is,  
you  can  get  stuck  in  these  phases  of  the  investment  ladder;  "I  can't  get  her  from  
engaged,  or  from  compliant  to  invested."    Like  she'll  respond  to  my  texts,  but  she  
doesn't  actually  want  to  go  out  with  me.    How  many  guys  has  that  happened;  like  
everybody  in  this  room.    "she'll  respond  to  my  texts,  but  she  doesn't  want  to  go  
out  with  me."      

You  can  get  stuck  in  these  phases.    And  the  thing  that  I  just  want  to  point  out  to  
you,  it  could  be  because  of  you  and  you're  own  issues,  very  much  a  possibility,  it  
could  also  be  that  she's  just  fucking  crazy.    And  you  don't  want  to  rule  that  one  
out.    You  really  don't.    I'm  not  going  to  dwell  on  it  for  too  long;  but  I  want  to  dwell  
on  it  long  enough  to  make  sure,  that  you  guys  remember  that  there  might  be  a  
day  when  you're  dating  some  girl,  and  you're  texting  her,  and  she's,  you're  not  
getting  the  responses  you  want,  you  kind  of  like  this  girl,  I  just  want  you  to  
remember,  it  might  be  her.  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
She  might  be  fucking  crazy.    And  this  has  happened  more  often  than;  this  happens  
so  often.    I  look  back  on  my  years  of  dating  and  all  of  these  times,  when  I  was  like,  
"I  need  this  technique;  I  need  to  do  this  thing;  it's  my  fault  if  she  doesn't  respond  
to  me."    I'm  texting,  I'm  calling  her;  there  was  one  girl  "god  dam,"  I  really  liked  
her,  and  I  invited  her  over.      

I  called  her  up  one  day  because  I  had  this  terrible  cough,  and  my  doctor  had  
prescribed  me  some  Codeine,  because  my  throat  was  just  killing  me.    And  I  texted  
her  up  one  day  and  she'd  been  really  difficult.    I  texted  her,  I'm  like  "Hey,  I  got  
some  Marijuana,  I've  got  some  Codeine  why  don't  you  come  over  and  we'll  be  
Kurt  and  Courtney?"      

Kurt  Cobain  right,  they  were  into  the  whole  drug  thing.    And  she's  like,  "yeah  it  
sounds  amazing,"  I'll  be  by  a  little  later.    And  I'm  like,  "oh  great.    I'm  finally,  I'm  
going  to  see  her.    Her  schedule  freed  up."    What  happened,  she  came  over,  she  
smoked  some  weed,  she  drank  some  Codeine,  she  passed  out  on  my  be.  

I'm  like,  "I  thought  we  were  moving  in  the  right  direction  here."    The  girl  ended  up  
getting  a  bunch  of  cats.    And  now  she's  a  cat  lady.    The  point  is,  I  was  putting  so  
much  pressure  on  myself  to  do  the  right  thing,  and  to  like,  and  I  don't  know,  she  
was  hot,  and  I  was  dating  a  few  girls  at  the  time,  and  I  kind  of  thought  she  was  
hotter  than  the  other  ones,  I  was  putting  so  much  pressure  on  myself  to  do  the  
right  thing,  and  it  just  turned  out  that  her  head  wasn't  screwed  on  straight.      

I  just  want  to  remind  you  guys,  you'll  go  through  these  phases,  you  might  get  
stuck,  you  might  not  get  passed  this  phase  of  investment.    It  could  be  that  the  girl  
is  crazy.    She  might  not  be  ready  to  invest  in  you.    She  just  might  not  feel  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
comfortable  opening  herself  up.    That  might  be  a  relationship  pattern  in  her  life.    
Those  girls,  coincidentally  are  often  heart  breakers.      

I  was  out  to  lunch  with  my  buddy  John  the  other  day  and  I  know  this  girl  who  I  
never  really  had  anything  with,  we've  always  been  friends,  she  dated  one  of  my  
other  buddies,  she  dated  John,  and    we  were  just  talking  about  her  relationship  
patterns.    And  I  was  like,  "I  bet  she  did  this,  and  I  bet  she  did  that,  and  I  bet  she  
did  that."  

He  was  like,  "yup.    She  did  that,  she  did  that,  she  did  that."    And  it  drove  me  up  a  
fucking  wall.    Crazy.    Maybe  she'll  give  herself  to  a  man  one  day,  but  John,  if  
there's  a  man  who  a  woman  should  give  herself  too,  it's  this  guy.    Just  amazing  
dude.    She  was  just  kind  of  nuts  with  him.    SO  I  will  close  my  thoughts  on  this,  that  
some  girls  are  just  fucking  crazy,  and  just  realize  that.    So  that's  enough  of  that.    
When  is  investment  locked  in?      

We  go  through  this  ladder:  Neutral,  engaged,  compliant,  so  on  and  so  forth.    I'll  in  
the  course  itself  there  will  be  a  slide  and  all  the  stuff  will  overlay  on  each  other  
and  it'll  be  very  clear  to  you  guys,  but  when  is  a  girl  invested;  when  is  investment  
locked  in  so  to  speak?    Well  there's  two  answers  to  this.    The  first  is:  8  months.    
The  second  answer  is:  never.    Eight  months  is  about  the  amount  of  time  that  if  
you're  dating  a  girl,  and  it's  going  well,  it's  going  to  keep  going  well  for  that  period  
of  time.  

What  I  find  is  relationships,  usually  go  in  like  these  phases.    There  is  three  month  
relationships,  six  month  relationships,  two  year  relationships,  and  then  like,  
forever  or  a  long  freaking  time  relationships.    If  you  get  past  the  eight  month  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
mark,  that  means  that  you've  gotten  past  that  phase  where  up  to  six  months  
you're  probably  just  having  sex  everyday  all  the  time,  and  it's  amazing,  then  your  
body  chemistry  starts  to  change.      

This  is  actual  science.    If  you  spend  enough  time  in  the  same  room  in  the  same  
relationship  with  a  girl,  your  body  chemistry  changes,  your  hormones  change,  and  
excessive  sort  of  assertive  aggressive  hormones  that  you  produce  start  to  fade  
away  and  you  start  to  produce  more  nurturing  dad  hormones.    

I  can't  remember  what  they  are  called,  this  is  in  a  book  called  the  Happiness  
Hypothesis,  by  Johnathan  Hype.    Eight  months  your  hormones  are  starting  to  
change,  the  relationship  is  starting  to  take  on  a  slightly  different  flavor.    If  you  
make  it  past  that  six  month  point  and  you're  still  happy  with  her  and  you  guys  
probably  haven't  broken  up,  probably  pretty  good.    That's  when  it's  sort  of  locked  
in.  

Now  on  the  other  hand  I  said  never.    Has  anybody  in  here  read  50  Cent's  50th  
law?    A  few  of  you,  yeah.    Amazing  book,  right.    One  of  the  things  that  struck  me  
when  I  was  reading  that  book,  I'd  read  that  right  around  the  same  time  when  I  
read  the  Four  Hour  Work  Week.    I  love  the  Four  Hour  Work  Week,  but  I  also  hate  
it,  because  in  the  Four  Hour  Work  Week  he  paints  this  picture  of  this  amazing  life  
you  live  when  you  just  do  enough  work  and  then  you  kind  of  leave  it  all  behind,  
and  work  for  four  hours.      

I  know  it's  more  than  that  but,  you  know,  that's  what  a  lot  of  people  take  away.    I  
was  thinking  to  myself  one  time,  "I  just  want  to  not  do  work,  I  just  want  to  like  
enjoy  my  life.    I  just    want  to  kick  back,  travel  the  world  and  just  kind  of  take  it  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
easy.    I  want  to  take  it  easy."    And  I  think  that's  something  that  a  lot  of  people  can  
relate  to,  I  want  to  take  it  easy.  

What  I  also  read  at  the  time  was  50  Cent's  50th  law,  and  it  occurred  to  me  that  50  
never  takes  it  easy.    Every  fucking  day,  he's  grinding.    He  might  enjoy  himself,  he  
might  take  a  short  vacation  but  he  never  takes  it  easy.    We've  talked  a  lot  about  
masculinity  today,  and  one  of  the  hall  marks  of  a  man  is  he  never  takes  it  easy,  he  
never  kicks  back  his  feet,  he's  always  ready.    He  can  take  a  vacation,  he  can  take  a  
break,  he  can  take  an  extended  break  if  you  want,  but  your  work  on  this  earth  is  
never  done.      

There's  always  someone  else's  life  to  change,  there's  always  someone  else  to  
help,  there's  always  a  woman  to  make  happy,  there's  always  a  child  to  help  raise,  
your  work  is  never  done.    So  when  you  think  about,  when  is  investment  truly  
locked  in,  it's  never  really  locked  in.    It  you  take  your  wife  for  granted,  what  does  
the  ring  even  mean.    So  just  a  reminder  of  our  role  as  men,  the  work  that  we  
always  have  to  be  doing.  

That's  investment  right.    The  final  thing  that  we  have  in  this  whole  matrix  is  check  
points,  dating  checkpoints.    This  is  just  going  to  be  head  slappingly  obvious.    You  
meet  a  girl,  you  get  her  number,  first  date,  first  kiss,  second  date,  third  date,  
maybe  sex  on  that  date.    More  sex,  and  then  the  check  points  get  a  little  bit  off,  
but  my  check  points,  the  way  I  like  to  think  about  them  is,  after  the  third  date,  
and  after  you  guys  have  sex,  there's  a  phase  of  more  sex,  and  there's  usually  a  
point  where  you  guys  spend  Sunday  together.      

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
The  Sunday  together  is  a  big  check  point.    The  next  point  is  meeting  each  others  
friends,  and  next  check  point  after  that  is  boyfriend/girlfriend.    Putting  it  all  
together,  and  I  will  just  kind  of  hold  this  up  because  I  don't  have  handouts,  you    
can  see  that  there's  this  beautiful  matrix  here  of  impression,  inspection,  intimacy,  
and  love,  and  then  the  nice  investment  ladder,  and  then  all  the  stuff  that's  going  
down  during  that  process.      

I  will  be  sharing  that  with  you  guys  when  we  have  access  to  a  printer,  and  it  will  
also  be  online  for  those  watching  it  at  home.    But  you're  just  going  to  have  to  take  
my  word  that  it  matches  together  beautifully.    So  that's  that.  

It  kind  of  brings  to  a  close  what  we  have  to  talk  about  today.    What  I  gave  you  is  
very  high  level  stuff.    We  talked  about  being  an  obsession  worthy  man  and  the  six  
traits  of  men  who  women  obsess  over.    We  talked  about  being  boyfriend  
material,  seven  things  that  women  deeply  desire  out  of  their  relationships  out  of  
their  men.    I  gave  you  30  thousand  foot  view  of  the  dating  game  on  multiple  
levels.    If  you  had  that  chart  in  front  of  you,  you'd  see  it  how  it  all  works  together.      

Tomorrow  we're  going  to  jump  into  the  dating  game  itself.    We're  going  to  start  
with  impression.    We  got  some  really  good  stuff;  how  to  make  a  great  impression  
of  a  girl.    I  wish  I  could  get  into  it  right  now,  I  wish  I  could  keep  rolling,  I'm  just  
looking  at  the  slides  right  now.    But  yeah,  we're  going  to  have  a  great  day  
tomorrow.      

Its  going  to  be  full  of  specifics,  full  of  really  detailed  stuff,  like  here's  what  to  do,  
here's  what  to  say,  but,  yeah,  I  guess  you  guys  will  just  have  to  wait  for  it  until  
tomorrow.    That  is  the  day.    Any  questions  before  I  close  this  segment.    I  know  

 
GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM       THE OBSESSION STORY
 
that  was  sort  of  heavy  concepts  there.    Any  thoughts  or  questions.    Anything  
unclear.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTRO DAY 2

CHAPTER 12: INTRODUCTION TO DAY 2

Hey  guys.  Welcome  to  day  2  and  for  those  of  you  at  home,  who  knows  how  
long  it's  been  taking  you  to  watch  this,  but  it  might  be  like  hour  5  right  now.  
Before  we  move  on  into  the  second  half  of  the  course,  I  wanted  to  just  take  
an  opportunity  to  reflect  on  what  we  learned  and  discussed  in  the  first  half  
of  the  course,  answer  any  questions  that  you  guys  had  and  also  just  share  a  
couple  thoughts  about  what  we  discussed  yesterday  and  what  we  
discussed  today.    

As  I  was  going  through  everything  that  we're  going  to  be  going  through  
today,  I  was  reviewing  it  this  morning  and  a  little  bit  last  night.  I  was  like,  
"Wow,  it's  so  mechanical."  A  lot  of  the  stuff  that  we're  going  to  be  doing  
today,  it's  very  step-­‐by-­‐step  and  very  mechanical.    

Of  all  the  men  who  we  heard  from  yesterday,  there's  so  many  different  
perspectives.  There's  Jason  Capital  with  his  hard  edge  see  you  'til  
Wednesday  attitude.  Then  there's  Alex  Allman  with  his  I  love  you  forever  
and  ever  and  let  the  universe  merge  our  existence  together  perspective.    

Maybe  that's  an  unfair  way  to  encapsulate  the  totality  of  what  those  guys  
had  to  share,  but  I  think  it  was  a  really  good  and  diverse  perspective  to  
share  those  2  things.  I  wanted  to  reflect  on  just  the  diversity  of  opinions  
that  we  had  yesterday  and  then  bring  that  back  into  what  we  are  going  to  
be  talking  about  today.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTRO DAY 2

When  I  heard  what  Jason  was  talking  about,  it  reminded  me  of  a  phase  in  
my  life,  in  a  time  in  my  life,  when  I  was  going  out,  and  I  was  having  a  lot  of  
fun  and  I  was  really  playing  the  field,  if  you  want  to  call  it  that,  and  the  
dogmatic  attitude  that  he  has  is  something  that  I  remember  was  very  useful  
for  me  when  I  was  going  through  that  phase  of  life.  That  intensity  of  
purpose,  of  mission,  of  passion  and  the  0  compromise  approach  to  she's  
number  2  is  something  that  I  know  serves  Jason  very  well  and  served  me  
very  well  in  a  phase  of  evolution.    

You  contrast  that  to  Alex,  and  Alex  and  I  have  an  attitude  which  is  that  your  
woman  is  on  equal  and  par  with  your  mission  and  your  work,  and  you  have  
to  figure  out  a  way  to  balance  the  2  if  you're  going  to  have  a  successful  
long-­‐term  relationship.  I  know  that  I  did  not  have  the  attitude  for  a  long  
time,  for  a  long,  long  time.  That  attitude,  that  internal  set  of  values  changed  
as  it  became  more  useful  to  me  and  as  I  realized  I  truly  do  want  a  long-­‐term  
relationship,  and  I  truly  do  want  to  have  a  loving,  giving  relationship  where  
I'm  able  to  surrender  myself  to  a  woman.    

That  surrender  requires  a  degree  of  emotional  maturity  and  self-­‐

development  and  confidence  and  ability  to  accept  what  will  come  and  most  
importantly  what  it  requires  is  a  trust  in  yourself  that  you've  chosen  the  
right  woman.    

I  think  this  is  where  a  lot  of  guys  get  things  wrong  and  mess  things  up  and  
end  up  hating  women  is  they  surrender  themselves  to  a  woman  who's  not  
fully  matured  or  not  a  whole  human  being  or  has  issues  of  her  own,  and  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTRO DAY 2

let's  face  it,  we  all  have  issues  of  our  own.  Then,  something  goes  wrong  in  
the  relationship.  Maybe  it's  the  guy  who  messes  it  up.  Maybe  it's  the  
woman  who  messes  it  up,  but  whatever  the  case,  they  end  up  having  a  very  
polarizing  attitude  about  a  woman's  place  in  their  life.    

I  don't  want  to  say  that  there's  1  right  way  or  1  wrong  way.  What  Jason  
does  works  extremely  well  for  him,  and  I  know  that  as  he  continues  to  grow  
and  mature  as  a  man  his  personality  and  his  character  will  go  through  
transition,  and  we'll  see  where  he  ends  up,  but  no  matter  what,  I  know  that  
what  he's  doing  is  going  to  be  right  for  him.    

I  know  that  what  Alex  does  is  incredibly  right  for  him.  I  saw  different  people  
in  the  audience  resonating  differently  with  both  of  those  guys.  It's  like  you  
listen  to  Jason  talk,  and  you're  like,  "Yeah.  Yeah."  That  makes  sense.  Then  
you  listen  to  Alex  talk,  and  you're  like,  "Wow.  That  sounds  amazing."    

I'm  not  picking  those  2  for  any  particular  reason  other  than  that  they  
represent  such  polar  perspectives  on  a  woman's  role  in  your  life.  What  I'd  
suggest  to  you  is  that  there  is  no  1  right  way  to  approach  it.  It's  just  this  is  
really  going  to  be  a  process  of  your  own  maturation  and  your  own  ability  to  
be  truthful  in  a  relationship  and  to  be  truthful  to  yourself  in  that  
relationship  and  whichever  path  you  choose  to  pursue  is  going  to  be  the  
right  one  for  you.  This  is  one  of  those  things  we  have  to  leave  to  the  
universe  and  let  happen.  

Along  those  lines,  leaving  things  to  the  universe  and  having  genuine  
conversations,  so  much  of  what  we  teach  here  and  this  course  specifically  is  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTRO DAY 2

very  structural,  very  do  this,  then  do  that,  then  do  that.  The  thing  that  has  
catapulted  this  business  to  success  and  certainly  if  you're  watching  this  at  
home,  the  reason  you’re  probably  watching  this  is  you  saw  our  marketing,  
and  you're  like,  "Okay,  a  step-­‐by-­‐step  system  for  going  from  meeting  a  girl,  
to  number,  to  date,  to  girlfriend."  That's  as  much  as  possible  what  I've  
attempted  to  provide,  but  sitting  there  listening  to  Alex  yesterday  
reminded  me  of  something  I  almost  lost  in  the  development  of  this  
program  and  that's  the  magic  and  mystery  of  each  new  relationship.    

I  spoke  to  that  a  little  bit  yesterday,  that  nervous  feeling  I  got  when  my  
current  girlfriend  and  I  were  texting  each  other,  and  I  wasn't  sure  if  she  was  
going  to  get  back  to  me  about  that  1  party  date.  That  is  the  magic  and  the  
mystery  of  this.  Even  though  I'm  going  to  be  giving  you  the  very  step-­‐by-­‐
step  stuff  here,  I  want  you  to  think  of  this  stuff  as  a  baseline  and  a  
foundation,  and  I  think  that  the  real  fun  of  it,  and  the  real  joy  of  dating  isn't  
going  through  the  process.    

It  is  in  experiencing  that  mystery.  It  is  in  wondering  if  she  really  likes  you.  It  
is  in  that  moment  when  she  writes  you  back,  and  she's  like,  "Yeah.  I'm  on  
for  the  date."  It's  that  moment  right  before  the  kiss  when  you're  not  sure  if  
she's  going  to  actually  kiss  you,  and  then  you  go  for  it,  and  it  happens,  and  
it's  amazing.  

I  just  wanted  to  make  sure  we  got  that  out  there  before  we  get  into  all  this,  
"do  this,  then  do  that  stuff"  today  because  if  that's  lost,  that  to  me  is  the  
magic  of  being  a  human  and  the  magic  of  relationships.  If  that  stuff's  lost,  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTRO DAY 2

then  you're  really  missing  out  on  what  I  would  argue  is  the  best  part  of  the  
relationship  which  is  the  mystery,  which  is  the  discovery  process,  which  is  
just  falling  in  love  and  discovering  a  real  human  being.  That's  my  little  
thought  before  we  head  into  all  this.    

I  also  want  to  pause  and  ask  does  anybody  have  questions  or  comments  or  
thoughts  based  on  things  they  learned  yesterday,  things  they  experienced  
last  night,  or  anything  else  that  came  up  yesterday?  I  see  a  hand  going  up.    

Brian:  I  was  making  out  with  this  chick  last  night  after  ...  Thank  you.  Thank  
you.    

Christian:    Yes,  all  right.  You  were  making  out  with  this  chick  ...  So,  I'm  
closing  this  chick,  right.  

Brian:  After  using  the  techniques  that  I  learned  yesterday,  and-­‐  

Christian:    Which  technique  were  you  using?  

Brian:  I  started  off  with  the  arm  grab-­‐  

Christian:    Arm  grab.    

Brian:  We  were  at  a  party,  and  I  grabbed  her  arm,  and  I  was  like,  you're  
really  pretty.  Then  I  told  her  to  dance  with  me.    

Christian:    Okay.  Very  dominant  of  you.    

Brian:    Yes.  We  were  making  out,  and  I  got  her  number  and  texted  her  so  
she  could  have  my  number  while  we  were  making  out.  Then  she  texted  me  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTRO DAY 2

back  at  4:53am  which  was  like  5  hours  later.  My  question  for  you  is  when  
should  I  text  her  back  and  what  should  I  say?  

Christian:    Right.  Your  text  to  her  at  night  ...  What  was  the  text  you  sent  
her?  

Brian:  I  just  said,  "Hey,  it's  Brian,"  but  that's  while  I  was  still  with  her,  so  she  
could  have  my  number.    

Christian:    Got  you.  Then  what  did  she  write  back?  

Brian:  She  said,  "Yo,"  at  4:53am.    

Christian:    Was  it  yo  with  just  1  "O"  or  multiple  "O"s?  

Brian:  It  was  5  "O"s.  

Christian:    5  "O"s.  That's  a  big  deal.  The  more  vowels  that  someone  adds  to  
certain  words  in  texting  the  more  playful  they  are.  It's,  I  don't  know,  one  of  
these  stupid  rules,  but,  that's  awesome  dude.  That's  awesome.  Congrats.    

Brian:  Thanks.  

Christian:    1st  text,  so  we've  got  a  whole  bunch  of  1st  texts  in  our  "how  to  
text  her"  course.  1  of  my  favorite,  the  one  that  I'll  always  tell  a  guy  to  use,  it  
comes  from  my  buddy  Rob  Judge.  He's  got  a  great  course  called  magnetic  
messaging.  It's  something  like,  "Hey,  having  a  cup  of  coffee  crafted  by  the  
hand  of  God  himself  ...  What  are  you  up  to?"  A  great  first  text  ...  The  way  
that  I  think  about  great  first  texts  is  they  ...    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTRO DAY 2

We're  going  to  talk  about  this  a  little  later,  but  they  paint  a  very  funny  
picture  in  a  woman's  mind.  The  way  to  think  about  them  is  if  you're  writing  
it,  and  you  think  to  yourself,  "Wow,  this  is  a  really  funny  visual  picture,"  
then  it's  probably  a  really  good  first  text.    

One  of  my  first  texts,  I  think  this  is  in  "how  to  text  her"  is  something  like,  
"There's  this  pigeon  staring  at  me  from  the  window  sill  right  now  ...  He's  got  
this  look  on  his  face  like  he  knows  something  evil  that  I  did  ...  How  is  your  
day  going?"  It's  like  this  funny  visual  image  and  sort  of  compels  a  response  
because  it's  very  different  than  anything  that  other  guys  are  going  to  send.    

That's  number  1.  Number  2,  she  sent  you  a  text  at  4:53,  so  context  is  
massive  in  text  messaging.  I  really  go  into  this  in  "how  to  text  her."  The  
amount  of  time  it  takes  to  respond  is  really  important  and  in  this  case,  she  
texted  you  at  4:53.  It's  currently  10:30am.  She  is  likely  sleeping  or  
hungover.  If  you  were  to  text  her  right  now  after  making  out  with  her  last  
night,  she'd  probably  be  like,  who  is  this  healthy,  got  his  life  together  guy  
who  is  texting  me  so  early  after  making  out  with  me  last  night.  I  would  just  
give  this  some  space.  I'd  probably  send  her  a  text  like  3:00,  4:00.    

You  could  also  respond  with  something  like  ...  This  is  just  coming  to  mind  
right  now.  You  could  respond  with  something  like,  "Just  had  the  most  
amazing  pineapple  macadamia  pancakes  fro  brunch  ...  so  necessary  today  
...  how  are  you  doing?"  It's  not  a  massive  laugh  that  you're  going  to  get,  but  
you're  empathizing  with  her  situation  which  is  the  fact  that  she's  probably  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTRO DAY 2

having  a  late  lunch,  and  you're  having  a  late  lunch,  and  yeah,  that's  how  I'd  
go  about  that.  Thanks.  Other  questions  or  comments?  

Audience:    I  was  out  at  a  bar  last  week,  managed  to  get  3  numbers,  shot  
them  a  text.  I  think  it  was  later  than  night  or  the  day  after.  Didn't  really  
hear  anything  back,  and  then  yesterday  2  of  them  randomly  shot  me  a  text.  
I  was  curious  what  was  up  with  the  time  gap,  and  how  do  I  move  forward  
with  that.  

Christian:    First  of  all,  it  could  always  be  AT&T.  I'm  just  kidding.  We've  
always  had  those  issues.  No,  a  week  would  be  a  little  bit  of  time.  What  was  
the  text  that  you  sent  to  them?  

Audience:    One  was  the  day  after.  "Crazy  night.  In  desperate  need  of  a  
Tylenol  and  a  prayer."  That  one.    

Christian:    I  love  that  text.  That's  a  good  one.    

Audience:    Didn't  hear  anything  back.    

Christian:    Okay.  Not  at  all?  

Audience:    No.    

Christian:    Not  at  all.  Okay.  Maybe  it's  not  such  a  good  text.  The  other  2,  
was  it  the  same  text  that  you  responded  with  or-­‐  

Audience:    Just  joking  about  something  that  had  happened  the  night  before  
within  the  interaction  with  the-­‐  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTRO DAY 2

Christian:    Call  backing.  Got  you.  It  could  be  any  number  of  things.  One  of  
the  things  we'll  talk  about  today  is  it  could  be  that  girls  are  crazy.  It  could  be  
that  they've  got  a  boyfriend  in  their  life.  It  could  be  that  ...  It  could  be  
something  external  that  you  can't  control.  That's  always  a  possibility,  but  
then  there's  also,  "Hey,  I  want  to  get  better  at  this,  and  there's  things  I  can  
do."    

I  would  say  that  number  1  is  maybe  she  didn't  feel  as  strong  a  connection,  
and  the  impression  you  made  wasn't  like  (snaps  fingers).  It  didn't  grab  her  
the  way  we  want  it  to  grab  her  and  the  way  that  I'll  talk  about  how  to  grab  
her  in  this.  That's  probably  the  biggest  reason  is  the  connection  and  
impression  that  you  made  did  not  stick,  so  hopefully  some  of  this  stuff  we'll  
talk  about  today  will  make  it  stick  better.    

In  general,  I  think  we  talked  about  this  yesterday,  it's  that  right  combination  
of  being  really  fun  ...  Actually  I  don't  think  we  talked  about  fun  yesterday,  
but  the  impression  stage  to  me  is  about  being  very  fun.  It's  about  being  
dominance  and  about  introducing  just  a  little  bit  of  sexuality,  getting  those  
things  together  and  getting  them  right,  so  she  has  really  good  feelings  
associated  with  you,  and  there's  a  little  bit  of  mystery  and  all  that.  

Audience:    I  would  say  one  of  them  it  was  a  plan  text  that  they  texted  back,  
"Hey  stranger."  

Christian:    "Hey  stranger,"  that's  what  they  wrote  back  to  you?  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTRO DAY 2

Audience:    Yeah.  Yesterday.  Then  another  one,  late,  around  1am.  It  was  
like,  "Oh  my  God.  I'm  so  sorry  I  didn't  text  you  back.  I  got  really  busy."    

Christian:    What  should  you  write  back  with  now?  

Audience:    Yeah,  where  do  I  take  it?  

Christian:    There's  a  number  of  things  you  could  say.  One  of  them,  the  one  
who  was  really  sorry,  I'd  be  like,  "You  know  it's  okay.  I've  only  been  crying  
all  week  ...  Now  you  owe  me  a  glass  of  wine  for  breaking  my  heart."  
Something  like  that,  or  "Now  you  owe  me  a  pint  of  Ben  &  Jerry's."  I  always  
like  fat  chick  jokes,  the  stuff  that  ...  

 If  somebody's  at  home  trying  to  console  themselves  and  watching  TV  ...  
That's  the  visual  image  that  I  like  to  ...  Because  obviously  it's  not,  so  it's  a  
funny  contrast.  I  would  do  something  like  that  and  just  a  little  bit  of  
qualification  like,  "Guess  who  owes  me  a  glass  of  wine  right  now,"  
something  like  that.    

Then  I  would  ...  did  you  get  abducted  by  aliens.  We  can  work  through  it.  It's  
so  funny,  man.  Texting  is  always  like,  "Oh  gosh."  It's  always  the  thing  that  
hangs  everybody  up,  and  I  get  that,  but  we'll  be  talking  about  that  a  little  
bit  today,  too,  so  cool.

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

CHAPTER 13: KING GAME

Hi,  guys!  What  I  want  to  talk  about  right  now  is  what  I  affectionately  refer  
to  as  King  Game,  which  is  where  you  are  the  king,  and  this  is  something  
that  ...  If  you  think  about  it,  you  spend  a  lot  of  time  going  out,  talking  to  
girls,  going  to  bars.  Every  time  you  go  out,  you're  starting  afresh  more  or  
less.  

 If  you  build  up  your  life  with  great  passive  value,  if  you  become  the  king  of  
your  own  life,  then  you  start  to  generate  what  I  would  call  compound  
interest  on  your  social  investments.    

As  a  strategy,  as  a  social  strategy  in  my  own  life,  what  I  started  to  do  
several  ...  probably  10  years  ago,  I  was  like,  "I'm  not  going  to  work  so  hard  
at  going  out  to  bars  and  learning  pick  up.  I'm  going  to  learn  or  work  on  
having  really  cool  friends,  either  having  a  great  place  to  go  or  being  friends  
with  somebody  who's  got  a  great  place  to  go,  and  bringing  a  lot  of  value  to  
social  situations  so  that  I  can  be  the  boss,  the  king,  whatever."    

In  those  social  situations,  the  big  win  is  that  women  are  generally  very  
responsive  to  value  and  status.  If  you  are  one  of  the  highest  value  or  
highest  status  of  men  in  the  room,  because  of  the  value  that  you  created,  
no  wonder  he's  naturally  attracted  to  you.  A  lot  of  the  hard  work  is  done.    

The  core  of  King  Game  is  putting  yourself  in  the  best  possible  light  that  
women  want  to  be  a  part  of.  I'll  repeat  that.  Putting  yourself  in  the  best  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

possible  light  that  women  want  to  be  a  part  of.  It's  not  going  to  be  all  
women  because,  listen  if  you  want  to  do  the  models  and  bottles  crowd,  
you're  going  to  need  a  certain  type  of  woman,  and  you're  going  to  have  to  
be  a  certain  type  of  guy.    

For  me,  it  was  just  very  simple.  Have  really  cool  friends  who  reflect  the  
values  that  I  share,  have  cool  spaces  to  get  people  together,  and  have  fun.  
It's  just  that  simple.    

You're  going  to  establish  alpha  status  in  that  way  by  being  a  leader  of  this  
cool,  high  value  scene.  Again,  how  do  you  describe  the  owner,  the  
facilitator,  the  connector?  You  can  add  value  simply  by  being  the  
connector.  I  always  tell  guys,  "Hey,  listen,  if  you  don't  have  a  place  to  throw  
a  party,  just  be  the  one  who  finds  the  guy  who's  got  a  really  cool  place  and  
he's  not  having  parties  and  be  the  one  who  brings  the  party  to  him  because  
that  guy  needs  to  party."    

In  my  life,  I've  got  a  few  examples.  I've  been  the  DJ.  Sometimes,  I've  been  
the  cook.  I've  had  a  friend,  who  he  lived  with  his  father  for  years,  but  he  
and  I  are  really  good  friends.  He'd  come  to  my  house  and  he  would  always  
be  the  cook.  He  was  in  charge  of  the  kitchen,  like  woe  betide  you  if  you  fuck  
with  him  when  he  was  in  the  kitchen.  He  would  have  people  do  stuff.  He  
was  a  king  of  the  kitchen.  I'd  be  the  host,  the  host  of  the  party,  kind  of  
obvious.  Or  even  I  had  a  friend  who  ...  we  called  this  guy  the  99  Bananas  
Guy.  You  all  know  99  Bananas?  Anybody?    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

I'm  so  not  surprised  both  of  you  know  99  Bananas.  It's,  in  my  opinion,  one  
of  the  best  liquors  ever  invented,  but  depending  on  who  we  talk  to,  it  could  
also  be  the  worst.  It's  a  very  high  proof  liquor  that  is  flavored  like  bananas.  
There  is  a  guy,  who  every  party  he  showed  up  to,  he  showed  up  with  99  
Bananas.  You  don't  sip  it.  You  shoot  99  Bananas.  This  is  not  a  sip  in  alcohol.  
If  there's  that,  there's  going  to  be  shots,  and  where  there  are  shots,  there's  
going  to  be  people  having  fun.    

This  guy  Chris,  he'd  get  a  lot  of  stuff  going  for  him,  but  whatever  party  he  
went  to,  he  was  the  99  Bananas  guy.  He'd  just  show  up.  When  Chris  walked  
in  the  door,  everybody  knew  what  he  was  carrying  with  him.  It  was  like,  
"Oh  shit!  It's  that  time."  He'd  be  like,  "It  is!"  He'd  pull  it  out,  and  everybody  
knew,  and  the  girls  who  didn't  know  him  would  see  everybody's  attention  
go  to  Chris,  and  he'd  be  holding  up  this  fucking  bottle  of  99  Bananas.  All  of  
a  sudden,  everybody's  attention's  on  him.  He's  not  the  host.  He's  just  one  
of  the  esteemed  guest  of  the  parties,  but  he's  a  rock  star  because  he's  
established  that  value  for  himself.    

A  more  domesticated  version  of  that,  my  girlfriend  makes  what  I  would  
argue  to  be  the  best  artichoke  dip  in  the  world.  These  days,  when  we  show  
up  to  parties,  we  bring  the  artichoke  dip,  and  you'd  better  believe  that  we  
are  like,  everybody's  sort  of,  they're,  "Ah,  did  you  bring  the  artichoke  dip?"    

Just  being  the  person  who  brings  that  one  thing  that  everybody  wants  and  
everybody's  excited  about  and  establishing  that  pattern  for  yourself.  I  used  
to  do  this  thing,  and  I  got  into  a  little  trouble  doing  this  because  I  didn't  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

have  enough  money  at  the  time,  but  I  would  do  this  thing  where  I  went  out  
to  night  clubs  and  my  shtick  was  10  shots  of  Patron.  I  would  be  with  my  
crew,  and  I'd  use  some  promoters.  I'd  be  like,  "Waitress,  10  shots  of  
Patron."    

There  is  something  about  10  shots  of  Patron  showing  up  at  the  table  that  
you're  creating  a  party.  Just  a  few  examples.  I  got  known,  is  that  I'd  walk  in  
and  people  would  know.  Then  you're  expected  to  keep  buying  10  shots  of  
Patron.  It  sucks  me  to  switch  to  Don  Julio.  People  don't  like  that.  Or  not  
Don  Julio.  What's  the  shitty  one?    

The  second  part  is  get  your  friends  to  pimp  you  out.  I  know  this  sounds  
weird,  but  you  should  have  honest  conversations  with  your  friends.  If  they  
like  you,  if  they  respect  you,  they  know  you're  single,  just  be  honest  with  
them.  Be  like,  "Yo,  can  you  talk  to  her  about  how  awesome  I  am?"  You'd  be  
surprised.  They'd  be  like,  "Actually,  yeah,  I  can."    

How  do  you  engender  this  respect  that  allows  them  to  do  that,  is  you  be  an  
awesome  friend  to  them  first.  This  is  just  human  being  awesomeness  101  is  
be  an  awesome  friend  to  your  friends.  Take  care  of  them.  Go  out  of  your  
way  for  them.  If  something  goes  wrong  for  them  ...  I'm  not  going  to  dwell  
on  that,  but  be  an  awesome  friend  for  them,  you  can  expect  them  to  be  
awesome  in  return.    

There's  been  plenty  of  times  where  I'd  been  like,  "Hey,  man,  listen,  this  girl,  
I'm  really  interested  in  her.  I'm  going  to  leave  you  alone  with  her  for  just  a  
second.  Can  you  just  talk  about  how  fucking  great  I  am?"  My  buddy's  like,  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

"Yeah,  sure.  Cool."  I'm  gone.  I  come  back.  The  girl's  like,  "He  was  just  telling  
me  how  you  did  this  and  that."  I'm  like,  "Was  he  telling  you  that  stuff?  
Gosh,  that's  so  nice."    

Just  ask  your  friends  to  talk  you  up.  If  you're  a  good  guy,  if  you're  an  honest  
guy,  they  will.  The  things  that  you  want  them  to  be  talking  about  if  you're  
really  going  to  start  guiding  them,  then  I've  had  this  conversations  with  a  
couple  of  my  buddies.  We'll  deal  with  each  other.  This  is  winging.  I  want  
them  to  talk  about  how  hardworking  I  am,  what  a  risk-­‐taker  I  am,  and  what  
a  leader  I  am.  Those  are  the  three  things.  Hardworking,  risk-­‐taker,  and  
leader.    

I  don't  necessarily  want  them  to  be  like,  "Yeah,  he's  the  best  partier  in  the  
world.  Every  time  we  go  out  to  the  club,  he's  the  one  dancing  on  the  couch  
with  all  the  model  chicks."  That's  probably  not  what  they  should  be  saying  
to  the  girl  who  I  want  as  my  girlfriend.    

They  should  be  saying  like,  "This  guy,  he's  just  so  solid.  Just  the  way  he  
takes  care  of  his  employees,  the  way  he  works  with  his  customers.  He's  
always  coming  up  with  new  things  and  new  plans."  Sometimes  they're  a  
little  crazy,  but  it's  like  those  are  the  conversations  you  want  him  to  be  
having  with  her.    

Then  a  third  party  King  game  is  just  bringing  a  girl  into  your  life  the  right  
way.  That's  the  big  point.  What  do  I  mean  by  that?  Just  bringing  a  girl  into  
your  life  with  fun  activities  that  you've  already  planned,  stuff  that  you're  
already  planning  to  do  with  your  buddies.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

You  have  the  surfing  day  or  the  snowboarding  club.  Or  you  are  doing  
Wednesday  wine  and  classic  movie  nights.  Something  like  that.  I'll  give  you  
a  few  examples  later.  These  really  cool  things  that  you're  just  doing  as  a  
part  of  your  life,  invite  the  girl  to  them.  

It's  worth  taking  a  moment  to  say  this  because  I  know  that  I  used  to  be  ...  I  
remember  when  I'm  24,  my  whole  winter  was  I  stayed  at  home,  and  I  got  
stoned  every  night,  and  I  cookie  dough,  and  I  watched  South  Park  on  my  
laptop.  You  couldn't  pick  a  more  crappy  single  life.  It  was  sad.  I  looked  back  
on  my  life  in  the  last  10  years.  I'm  34  now,  and  I  looked  back  in  my  life  the  
last  10  years,  it's  like,  I  had  to  break  out  of  the  rot,  and  I  start  doing  
awesome  shit.    

Sometimes  we  go  on  to  YouTube  and  we'll  post  comments.  I've  got  this  
Mexico  story  you'll  be  hearing  in  a  moment.  It's  a  great  story,  this  awesome  
thing  I  did.  Guys  listen  a  little  bit.  Dude,  I've  never  done  something  like  that,  
I'll  be  honest  with  you.    

I  would  just  say  to  anyone.  I  don't  mean  to  sound  like  a  dick,  but  this  is  your  
fucking  life,  and  if  you're  not  living  it  as  awesomely  as  you  can,  then  you're  
missing  out.  I  was  sitting  at  home  watching  South  Park  and  cookie  dough  
and  getting  high,  what  a  waste  of  fucking  life.  I  always  wanted  to  go  
skydiving.  I  finally  did  it.  Swam  with  whale  sharks,  climb  a  volcano.    

These  are  things  in  some  cases,  they  might  take  money,  in  some  cases  they  
don't,  but  just  ...  I  know  it  sounds  like  a  dick  as  I  say,  but  this  is  your  fucking  
life.  Do  cool  things  with  it  and  make  it  a  point  to  do  cool  things  with  it.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

Orient  your  life  so  you  do  cool  things  with  your  life,  and  that's  how  you  
have  awesome  stories  to  share  with  girls,  and  that's  how  you  bring  girls  into  
these  things.  Just  a  little  wake  up  call  if  you're  like  I  was.  You're  sitting  at  
home  and  just  letting  life  pass  you  by.    

To  recap  that  section,  King  Game  is  very  simple.  It's  just  do  cool  stuff  with  
your  life.  Invite  girls  into  it.  Create  value,  and  let  other  guys  look  up  to  you  
because  you're  the  one  who  created  all  these  value.    

Now  that’s  the  light  side  of  King  Game.  That's  how  you  create  the  
environment  for  girls  to  be  attracted  to  you.  How  do  you  manage  and  
manipulate  the  social  situation  on  your  end?  This  is  what  I  can  the  dark  side  
of  King  Game.  This  is  where  we  start  to  apply  some  social  dynamics,  and  we  
start  making  things  a  little  bit  more  useful  in  our  favor.    

There's  a  story  about  my  friend  David  Tian.  When  he  was  getting  into  the  
world  of  dating  advice,  somehow  he  crossed  paths  with  a  Chinese  mafioso.  
We  always  thought  this  is  a  great  way  to  illustrate  the  notion  of  what  we  
call  value  transference.    

In  the  Chinese  mafioso  world,  what  he  noticed  is  he  had  this  ...  I  don't  know  
how  he  got  connected  with  these  guys,  but  he's  going  to  these  gang  rooms  
and  there'd  be  a  gang  boss  in  the  gang  room.  There'd  be  the  gang  
members,  and  the  gang  members  were  beneath  or  lower  in  status  to  the  
gang  boss.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

The  gang  boss  never  talked.  He's  the  boss.  He  didn't  have  to  talk.  Everybody  
worked  for  him.  Every  now  and  then,  a  gang  member  would  bring  a  girl  in,  
and  he  would  be  interested  in  her.  The  boss  would  be  interested  in  the  girl.  
He'd  call  the  gang  member  over,  and  the  guy  would  start  talking  to  him.  
The  gang  member  is  so  differential  to  the  boss  that  the  girl's  attraction  
would  just  transfer  right  from  the  gang  member  on  to  the  boss.  

That's  really  what  we're  working  with  here  is  we're  working  with  what  we  
call  value  transference,  where  a  girl  values  either  the  scene  you  create  or  
some  people  in  it,  and  where  if  you  are  the  alpha  and  you're  able  to  do  
some  of  the  stuff  that  I'm  going  to  share  with  you,  her  interest  in  the  value  
that  she  ascribes  to  that  scene  and  those  people  is  going  to  transfer  on  to  
you.    

That  clear  that  concept  of  value  transference  and  how  it  can  work.  Maybe  
we've  seen  this  happen  in  our  own  lives,  with  people  who  are  higher  status  
are  more  alpha  male.  How  do  we  establish  that  alpha  status.  Here's  a  few  
steps.  I've  been  through  some  of  these  already,  but  this  should  be  the  step-­‐
by-­‐step.    

Create  and  be  the  leader  of  a  high  value  scene.  Could  be  dinner  parties.  
Could  be  DJing,  what-­‐have-­‐you.  Second  thing  is  find  cool,  unique  guys  to  
complement  you.    

Some  cool  and  unique  guys  in  this  room  right  here.  Proportionally  many  of  
you  will  be  spreading  across  the  continental  USA.  Find  some  cool  unique  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

guys  to  complement  you.  You  want  to  be  a  part  of  that  scene.  You  can  call  
them  wing  man.  You  can  call  them  your  boys.  You  can  call  them  whatever.    

Step  three.  Lead  by  creating  value  for  everyone.  This  is  where  you  do  the  
work,  you  get  the  perks.  Create  the  value.  You're  the  one  who's  combing  
through  the  blogs  and  trying  to  find  a  cool  new  bar  that  everybody  wants  to  
check  out  but  nobody's  heard  of  yet.    

You're  the  one  who's  doing  the  work  organizing  the  party,  who's  finding  the  
best  mountain  to  go  to  for  snowboarding,  who's  contacting  the  skydiving  
company  and  doing  all  the  research  to  see  which  skydiving  company  is  the  
best  one  to  be  a  part  of.  You're  the  one  doing  the  work.  You're  creating  the  
value.  You're  the  leader.    

When  you're  able  to  do  that,  when  you  are  the  leader,  what  happens  is  you  
put  yourself  in  a  position  to  get  tasks  and  approval  to  the  guys  in  the  group.  
This  is  a  pivotal  part  of  doing  it.  We're  throwing  a  party  here.  I'm  saying,  
"Hey,  we  need  to  move  that  couch  over  that  way.  Evan,  can  you  push  the  
couch?"    

On  one  hand,  when  I  talk  about  this,  this  sounds  very  conscious.  It  sounds  
like  I'm  trying  to  tool  Evan.  On  the  other  hand,  when  I'm  creating  value  by  
just  being  the  leader,  it's  not  that  I'm  trying  to  be  alpha.  I've  got  a  vision  of  
how  things  need  to  be.  "Hey,  can  you  put  the  couch  over  there?  Awesome,  
thanks,  man.  Can  you  guys  move  that  and  actually  when  you  do  this  and  
that,  thank  you  so  much.  All  right."  I'm  giving  tasks.  I'm  giving  approval  
when  people  complete  the  tasks.  Very  subtle.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

The  next  part  is  the  scene  starts  to  happen.  Things  are  going  down.  Maybe  
it's  a  party.  Maybe  it's  skydiving.  Doesn’t  have  to  be  skydiving.  I  just  
thought  skydiving  a  good  example.  We  went  with  a  big  group.  Everybody's  
really  excited  to  go  up  in  the  air.  Of  course.  I  was  freaked  out,  but  
everybody's  excited.  They're  asking  me,  "How  are  you  guys  feeling?"  
Everyone's  like,  "Woo!"  My  response  is  like,  "Yeah,  really  excited  about  
this."    

Your  responses  are  just  a  little  bit  muted.  Think  about  the  gang  boss.  The  
gang  boss  is  not  going  to  ...  You  take  everybody  to  skydiving,  and  he's  like,  
"All  right!"  Unless  he's  the  leader,  that  he's  the  leader  of  the  group,  that  
he's  the  one  who's  got  to  get  everybody  excited,  then  that's  him  creating  
the  value,  but  if  somebody  else  is,  battle  start  going  off  in  the  nightclub.  
Everybody's  excited,  they're  like,  "Bring  it  this  way."  It's  a  very  subtle  
approval,  subtle  acceptance.  You're  not  too  excited  by  everything.  You  just  
expect  this  is  what's  going  to  happen.    

You're  also  going  to  selectively  ignore  people  when  they  talk.  We'll  
demonstrate  that  in  just  a  little  bit,  but  this  is  a  very  powerful  one.  
Selectively  ignoring  people.    

Then  finally,  you  can  actually  withdraw.  I've  done  this  quite  a  few  times  
where  I've  created  the  party.  Everybody's  having  fun.  I've  created  the  value.  
I've  given  my  gift  to  the  moment.  Then  I  get  bored  of  it.  I  think  I  want  to  go  
read  in  my  room,  something.  There's  a  girl  who  I  was  attracted  to.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

When  you  withdraw,  she  will  come  find  you,  only  if  you  created  the  value  
first.  I  have  done  this  time  and  time  and  time  again.  This  was  my  social  
strategy.  Create  the  party,  get  everybody  there,  get  everyone  excited,  lead,  
bring  the  energy  up,  get  a  few  people  drinking,  taking  shots,  having  fun,  
make  sure  that  music's  good,  shake  some  hands,  be  happy,  smiling,  
etcetera.    

Thing  is  I'm  an  introvert  by  nature,  so  I  naturally  just  get  fatigued  when  I'm  
in  social  situations.  They  start  it  off,  [inaudible  00:16:45]  "I'm  tired  right  
now.  I  got  to  go,  chill  out,  take  a  break  from  social  life  for  a  second."  All  of  a  
sudden,  there's  a  girl  in  my  room.  "Hey,  where'd  you  go?"  "Just  a  little  
tired."  Started  getting  a  little  bit  more.    

I  realized,  "Wow,  this  is  a  pattern."  Every  time  I  withdraw,  the  girl  who's  
interested  in  me  comes  and  finds  me.  Or  maybe  a  couple  girls  come  and  
find  me.  Then  all  of  a  sudden,  there's  a  little  party  in  my  room  and  crazy  
shit  happens.    

Create  that  value  in  the  room  when  you  withdraw  from  it.  You  are  the  cook  
at  a  dinner  party.  You're  leading  everything,  pull  everything  together.  You  
get  it  all  on  the  table,  and  you  just  sit  down.  You  chill  out.  People  enjoy  
your  creation.  You  don't  have  to  totally  withdraw  at  that  point.  Chill  out.  
Those  are  a  couple  of  social  dynamics  you  can  use  to  establish  alpha  status.    

Now  there's  another  thing  that's  ...  Have  you  guys  seen  the  first  version  of  
the  course?  You  heard  me  talk  about  this  before,  the  Genius  Acolyte  and  
the  Bozo  Strawman?  Is  this  familiar  with  anyone?    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

Again,  it's  something  that  came  out  naturally  in  some  of  my  conversations.  
David  Tian  actually  called  me  out.  He  was  like,  "You  do  this  every  time  
you're  talking  to  a  girl  who  you  like.  You  got  to  know  this  is  very  effective,  
but  it  could  piss  people  off."  I've  heard  a  few  friends  we're  doing  this.  I  
didn't  mean  to.  It  just  came  about  once  I  became  conscious  of  it.  I  learned  
to  selectively  use  it  rather  than  just  every  time.    

The  point  of  this  is  when  you're  talking  to  a  woman,  there's  going  to  be  two  
men  in  your  life  who  you  talk  about,  the  genius  acolyte,  the  guy  who  he  
learned  everything  from  me,  to  put  in  very  crude  terms,  and  the  bozo  
strawman.  The  strawman  is  obviously  someone  who  we  knock  down.  The  
bozo  is  this  other  dude  in  your  life.  He's  trying  to  get  it  together,  but  he  just  
not  quite  there.    

These  are  two  characters  that  you're  going  to  talk  about  in  your  life,  and  
the  story  that  you're  going  to  tell  to  the  girl  presumably  on  the  first  date,  
maybe  the  second  date  that  comes  out.  It  could  come  out,  the  first  
impression  when  you're  meeting  her,  but  less  likely.  The  key  is  to  talk  
approvingly  or  disapprovingly  about  these  people.    

I'll  use  a  specific  example  in  my  life.  My  genius  acolyte  would  be  this  guy  
Fran.  Some  of  you  have  heard  of  Fran  or  talked  to  Fran.  He  started  off  years  
ago  as  a  client,  and  now  he  does  a  lot  of  our  marketing,  and  I'm  training  
him  to  manage  the  business.    

He's  become  amazing.  If  I  were  to  talk  to  a  girl,  maybe  on  a  date,  "Yeah,  I  
got  to  tell  you  this  awesome  shit  happening  in  my  company  this  week.  This  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

guy  who  I've  been  working  with  for  the  last  few  years,  I  just  saw  him  step  
up  to  another  level.  I'm  so  impressed  with  it.  Just  the  way  he's  taking  
responsibility,  he's  solving  problems  that  I  didn't  even  expect  him  to  solve,  
he's  taking  things  out  that  I  didn't  even  realize  were  issues.  It's  just  
awesome  to  see  this  happening."    

You  see  how  I'm  talking  about  him  there.  I'm  not  talking  about  him  in  the  
sense  like  he  did  this  and  he  did  that  and  I  taught  him  everything  he  knows.  
I'm  like,  I  took  this  little  bird  and  I  nurtured  him  a  little  bit,  and  now  he's  out  
of  the  cage  and  he's  flying  free  in  the  air.  I'm  not  having  ownership  of  him,  
but  I'm  still  discussing  him  in  a  way  that  puts  me  in  a  high  status  position  
relative  to  him  and  shows  that  I  have  authority  over  other  men.  That's  the  
key.  

The  bozo,  on  the  other  hand,  the  bozo  strawman.  I'll  use  a  great  example  
from  my  last  relationship,  from  my  current  relationship,  is  when  I  met  my  
current  girlfriend,  there  were  two  guys  living  in  my  house.  They're  on  my  
couch,  and  they  were  living  there  for  about  ...  they've  been  there  for  about  
two  and  a  half,  three  weeks.  I  actually  told  her,  "Look,  I'd  love  to  have  you  
over,  but  there's  these  guys  who  just  set  up  a  commune  in  my  apartment.    

It's  just  a  little  messy  in  there,  so  I  just  want  to  warn  you  about  that  right  
now.  She's  like,  "What's  going  on?"  I'm  like,  "I  don't  know.  I  call  them  my  
Taco  Bell  Boy  1  and  2  because  I  feel  like  if  there's  Taco  Bell  has  a  target  
demographic  of  people  who  watch  and  resonate  with  their  commercials,  
it's  these  two  guys."    

 
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Immediately,  you  can  see  I'm  putting  them  down,  kind  of  toying  them,  but  
you  got  to  bring  it  around.  You  got  to  say  like,  "But  you  know  what?  I  don't  
like  one  of  them  that  much,  but  the  other  one,  he's  a  really  good  dude.  I'm  
just  trying  to  give  him  some  space  to  get  his  life  together,  get  a  head  start.  I  
was  able  to  go  home  to  my  parents  when  I  fucked  up  my  life.  He  doesn't  
really  have  that,  so  he's  just  chilling  there  right  now."    

The  key  is  you  talk  about  the  bozo  strawman.  You're  subtly  putting  him  
down,  but  you're  at  the  same  time,  being  like,  "But  you  know  what?  He's  a  
good  dude.  I'm  trying  to  help  him  out."  That  is  what  makes  you  not  an  
asshole  when  you  talk  about  him.  I've  done  this  in  the  past  with  other  guys,  
but  like,  "Gosh,  I  really  wish  he  can  get  a  girlfriend.    

He's  just  such  a  nice  guy.  He's  really  good  dude.  He  would  treat  somebody  
so  well.  I'm  not  quite  sure  what  he's  ...  He's  not  getting  it  right  right  now.  
Sometimes  we'll  go  out.  He  just  says  the  wrong  thing.  You  can  see  girls  
turned  off,  and  I  just  want  to  step  into  it.  No,  no,  no,  but  wait,  he's  a  really  
nice  guy."    

You  say  that  about  a  guy  in  your  life,  and  it  shows  that  you've  got  some  
status  over  him.  I'm  like,  "Look,  I  try  to  help  him  out  a  little  bit.  I  talk  to  him  
here  and  there,  but  he  can't  pull  it  quite  together  yet.    

Those  two  characters,  when  you're  talking  about  those  people  in  your  life  
it's  great  conversation  to  have  on  probably  a  second  date.  You  bring  her  
into  your  life.  Those  two  characters  go  long  way  in  establishing  this  alpha  
status,  this  idea  that  you're  the  king  of  something.  It's  more  on  a  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

subconscious  level  that's  registered  in  a  girl's  mind,  but  believe  me,  she  will  
notice.    

How  do  you  balance  against  this  dark  side  that  we're  talking  about  because  
we're  talking  about  some  pretty  manipulative  stuff.  We're  talking  about  
throwing  one  of  our  friends  under  the  bus.  We're  talking  about  being  a  dick  
in  some  ways.  How  do  you  balance  against  this?  Very  simply,  you  cultivate  
excellence  in  your  own  life,  and  you  expect  excellence  from  those  around  
you.    

I  expect  excellence  from  Fran,  and  he  delivers  it,  and  that's  amazing,  so  I  
don't  feel  like  I'm  throwing  him  under  the  bus.  I  cultivate  excellence  in  my  
life,  and  when  my  friends  don't,  when  they  can't  come  through  on  that,  I  
get  disappointed  in  them.  That's  it.  These  things  are  truly  reflections  of  your  
feelings  for  other  human  beings  if  you  do  cultivate  excellence  in  your  life.  
That  is  that.    

Let's  do  a  couple  of  demonstrations  now  of  ...  We  talked  about  a  few  ways  
to  manage  situational  value  in  the  King  Game  context.  We're  going  to  do  a  
few  demonstrations  of  Evan  and  with  Alicia,  and  we're  just  going  to  show  
how  I've  ...  my  booze  or  game  value.  You  guys  want  to  come  on  up  here?    

The  first  one  I  want  to  demonstrate  is  being  introduced  to  a  girl.  This  
happened  a  lot.  This  happened  all  the  time  when  I  was  throwing  parties,  is  
people  would  bring  their  girls  to  my  house.  There's  worse  things  that  can  
happen  if  you're  a  single  guy.  Now  whenever  I'd  meet  the  girl  who  I  really  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

liked,  inevitably,  there'd  be  some  really  pretty  girl  who  got  brought  to  the  
house,  and  I'm  like,  "I'm  going  to  try  to  see  what  happens  with  her  tonight."    

When  I  met  her,  I  did  the  opposite  of  what  you  might  expect.  I  just  ignored  
her  a  little  bit.  Let's  imagine  that  you  guys  are  coming  in.  I'm  here,  maybe  
I'm  cooking  food.  I'm  in  the  middle  of  dinner.  This  is  exactly  a  play  of  a  
scenario  that  happened  with  one  of  my  exes.  I'm  here.  I'm  cooking  food.  
You're  going  to  come  in.  You're  going  to  introduce  Alicia,  and  we're  going  to  
do  a  little  demonstration  with  my  friend  Evan  and  Alicia.    

Evan:   Hey,  Jonathan.  How's  it  going,  man?    

Jonathan:    Hey,  man.  Good,  what's  up,  Evan?    

Evan:   Good  to  see  you.    

Jonathan:    Good  to  see  you,  too.    

Evan:   Hey,  very  well,  awesome.  Have  you  met  Alicia?    

Jonathan:    I  haven't.  I'm  going  to  look  in  her  eyes  very  briefly,  look  in  her  
eyes  very  briefly.  I  look  in  her  eyes.  Come  in.  A  little  kiss  cheek.  Come  back  
out,  and  I'm  going  to  look  in  her  eyes  as  I  pull  away,  so  come  and  kiss  check.  
"Nice  to  meet  you,"  and  then  just  off.  My  attention's  off  her.  This  is  really  
important.    

The  direct  eye  contact  when  you  meet  her.  It  makes  that  first  impression,  
that  little  jolt  of  electricity.  You  come  in  for  the  kiss.  You  pull  her  a  little  bit.  
Little  kiss  on  the  cheeks,  so  you're  a  welcoming  host.  It  introduces  a  slight  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

amount  of  sexuality  in  the  conversation.  You  pull  back  out.  You  make  the  
eye  contact  again,  so  you're  making  that  connection  one  more  time,  and  
you're  just  off.  She's  like,  "Whoa!  Where  did  that  attention  go?"    

In  the  past,  when  I  didn't  really  understand  these  dynamics,  what  I  might  
look  like,  it'd  be  like,  "Hey,  nice  to  meet  you.  How  do  you  guys  know  each  
other?"  All  of  my  attention  is  on  her.  That  doesn't  create  the  mystery.  This  
exact  scenario  is  ...  I  love  demonstrating  this  because  this  is  ...  my  very  first  
cover  model  girlfriend,  this  is  how  we  got  introduced.    

She  told  me,  subsequently  she's  like,  "The  fact  that  you  ignored  me  as  soon  
as  you  met  me  but  made  that  eye  contact  with  me,  I  was  just  thinking  
about  you  for  the  next  40  minutes.  Who  is  this  guy?"  Maybe  I  didn't  have  
the  same  effect  on  you.  I'm  a  little  rusty  these  days.    

That's  example  number  one.  Number  two,  we're  going  to  show  how  to  deal  
with  a  guy  who  you  want  to  put  down  a  little  bit  in  status.  What  we're  going  
to  do  here  is  I'm  going  to  walk  up  to  a  conversation  that  you  guys  are  
already  having,  and  I'm  going  to  ...  We'll  just  play  it  by  ear.  I'm  just  going  to  
ignore  you  for  a  little  bit.  I'm  going  to  grab  my  phone.  This  is  the  key  prop.    

A  little  bit  of  context  on  this  one.  I'm  friends  with  a  couple  guys,  who  one  of  
them  owns  a  nightclub  in  town.  The  other  one  is  one  of  the  top  promoters  
in  Miami.  These  guys,  when  they're  out  at  night,  I  don't  know  if  promoters  
every  now  and  then,  but  then  guys  are  out,  they'll  be  talking  to  you  and  
they'll  be  in  mid  conversation  and  they'll  just  whip  out  their  phone  and  
start  texting.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

I  just  realized  it's  part  of  the  job.  That’s  because  they  got  to  get  people  into  
the  club,  but  it's  huge  ...  You're  just  talking  to  them,  and  they're  talking  to  
you,  and  all  of  a  sudden,  they're  just  like,  "Where  the  fuck  did  his  attention  
go?"  We'll  do  a  little  demo  on  that  right  now.    

You  guys  are  in  the  middle  of  your  conversation  or  whatever,  maybe  talking  
about  Sri  Lanka.    

Evan:   I  don't  have  a  response.  Anyway,  Alicia,    

Alicia:    I'm  talking  about  my  shirt.  

Evan:   How  do  you  feel  about  neon  colors?    

Alicia:  I  know  we're  bringing  the  color  to  this  party.    

Evan:   This  is  great,  man.  It's  just  like  middle  school  all  over,  right?    

Jonathan:    What's  up,  guys?    

Evan:   Hey,  man.  How's  it  going?    

Jonathan:    Not  much.  What's  going  on?    

Evan:   We're  just  talking  about  how  we  are  dressed  like  middle  school.    

Alicia:  And  bringing  the  color  to  the  party.    

Jonathan:    I  guess  so.    

Evan:    You  didn't  get  the  memo,  huh?    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

Jonathan:    I  got  the  memo  that  says  I'm  supposed  to  look  cool,  but  you  look  
beautiful.  Those  colors  look  great  on  you.  I  don't  about  why  you're  wearing  
that.  Actually,  this  isn't  working  out  at  all,  but  I  did  tool  you.  I  guess  it's  a  
good  demo  in  one  way.  

Let's  do  this  instead.  I'll  start  talking  to  you.  We'll  be  in  the  middle  of  the  
conversation,  and  you'll  come  join  us.  Sorry  about  that.  We'll  be  in  the  
middle  of  the  conversation.  You'll  just  come  join  us.  What's  really  important  
is  you  really  engage  in  the  conversation.  You  really  try  to  engage  Alicia.  I'll  
be  like,  "Oh,  yeah,  we're  just  talking  about  cool  places  that  we've  gone  in  
the  world."  Then  you'll  be  like  ...    

Evan:   Where  have  you  gone?    

Jonathan:    I  really  want  you  to  be  like,  "Oh,  yeah,  I  just  got  back  from  ...  or  
I'm  just  going  to  ...  or  whatever."  We're  in  the  middle  of  this  conversation.  
It's  got  Evan  over  there.  I'm  like,  "Costa  Rica's  got  to  be  one  of  my  
favorites."    

Here  is  another  example…  

Evan:   Hey,  guys.  How  it's  going?    

Alicia:  It's  good.  Hey,  what's  up?  

Jonathan:    What's  up?  What's  going?    

Evan:   Good  to  see  you,  man.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

Jonathan:  Likewise,  it's  good  to  see  you,  too.    

Evan:   Hi.    

Alicia:  Hi.    

Evan:   What's  your  name?    

Alicia:  Alicia.  

Evan:   Alicia.  Evan.    

Alicia:  Evan,  nice  to  meet  you.    

Jonathan:    We're  just  talking  about  cool  places  we've  been  in  the  world.    

Evan:   No  way.  Where  have  you  been?    

Alicia:  Top  of  my  list  is  India.    

Evan:   India.  You've  been  there  or  ...?  

Alicia:  I  know.  I've  been,  yeah.  It's  weird,  but  it's  awesome.    

Evan:   I'm  headed  to  actually  to  Sri  Lanka  in  a  couple  of  weeks.  I  have  a  new  
job,  and  we  won  this  award  from  the  UN.  We're  going  there  to  accept  it,  
and  meet  the  prince  or  something  like  that.    

Alicia:  Meet  the  prince.  Awesome.    

Evan:   I'm  super  stoked  about  it.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

Jonathan:    Dude,  your  story's  too  fucking  good.  That's  about  ideal.  That's  
the  idea.  I  can't  do  that.  I  can't  compete.  We're  meeting  the  prince.  I'm  
looking  at  my  cellphone.    

Evan:   You  put  up  the  phone,  I'm  going  like  this.    

Jonathan:    It's  hard  to  compete  with  the  person  who's  going  to  Sri  Lanka  
and  meeting  the  prince.  That's  a  demonstration  of  the  technique,  and  most  
guys  do  not  have  that  cool  of  a  story.  You  noticed  I  looked  down.  I  looked  
away.  I'm  just  ignoring  him,  whip  out  my  phone.  I'm  like  bored.  I'm  like,  
"Okay,  fuck  this.  Whatever."  Just  really  not  paying  attention.    

That's  how  you  selectively  ignore  a  guy.  Another  thing  that  we  can  do  is  if  
you  want  to  repeat  that  same  thing,  I'm  just  going  to  burn  a  hole  in  your  
skull  while  you're  talking.  You'll  watch  the  lack  of  expression  on  my  face  is  
the  key  thing.    

You  and  I  are  talking.  "So  you've  never  been  to  Costa  Rica."    

Alicia:  I've  never  been.  It's  on  my  list.  I'd  love  to  go,  but  ...    

Jonathan:    You  like  waterfalls?    

Evan:   Hey,  guys.  How's  it  going?  Good  to  see  you,  man.    

Jonathan:   Hey.  What's  up?    

Evan:   Hey  

Jonathan:    Good  to  see  you.  Have  you  met  Alicia?    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

Evan:   No,  I  haven't.  Hi.    

Alicia:  Hi,  Alicia.    

Evan:   Hi,  Alicia.  I'm  Evan.  What's  going  on?      

Jonathan:    We're  just  talking  about  cool  places  to  go  in  the  world.    

Evan:   No  way.  Where  have  you  been?  What's  really  cool?    

Alicia:  I've  been  to  India.  I've  never  really  gone  to  waterfalls.  I'd  love  to  go.    

Evan:   Now  that's  really  cool.  

Jonathan:    Never  been?  

Alicia:  Never  been.  I've  never  been.      

Evan:   I  haven't  been  to  India,  but  I'm  going  pretty  nearby.  I'm  going  to  Sri  
Lanka.    

Alicia:  For  what?  

Evan:   For  work.  I  just  started  this  new  job,  and  we  won  this  award  from  the  
UN.  I  get  to  meet  the  princes  and  accept  the  award  and  do  all  the  cool  stuff.  
I'm  excited  about  it.    

Jonathan:    Sounds  awesome,  man.    

Evan:   Totally.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

Jonathan:    Good,  that  was  it.  Just  like  burning  a  hole  in  his  skull  and  get  the  
fuck  out  of  my  conversation.  It's  basically  what  my  body  language,  my  body  
is  saying  at  that  moment.  That's  one.    

Here's  another  one  though.  Here's  the  flip  side  of  this,  and  this  is  great  for  
when  you're  winging  somebody  or  work  with  your  wing  man  on  this  so  that  
they  do  it  to  you.  I'm  going  to  introduce  Alicia  to  Evan,  and  I'm  going  to  tell,  
make  a  little  accomplishment  intro  is  what  we  call  them,  and  now  you're  
going  to  watch  my  expression  as  Evan  talks.    

I'm  going  to  be  very  expressive.  I'm  giving  him  all  of  my  body  language.  I'm  
going  to  actually  position.  I'm  going  to  almost  turn  my  back  to  Alicia  as  I  talk  
to  Evan.    

Evan:   What's  going  on?    

Jonathan:    Hey,  man.  What's  up?    

Evan:   Great  to  see  you.  Awesome.    

Jonathan:    Great  to  see  you,  too.  This  is  my  friend  Alicia.    

Evan:   This  is  Alicia?    

Alicia:  Hi.    

Jonathan:    This  is  my  really  good  buddy,  Evan.    

Evan:   Nice  to  meet  you,  too.    

 
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Jonathan:    Dude,  we  are  just  talking  about  awesome  places  we've  been  in  
the  world,  waterfalls,  places  we  want  to  go.  Aren't  you  going  to  somewhere  
cool  to  meet  someone  important.    

Evan:   Yeah,  man.  This  is  really  awesome.  I  just  started  this  new  job,  and  
we're  going  to  Sri  Lanka.  We  won  an  award  from  the  UN.  

Jonathan:    That's  so  amazing.  That's  so  incredible.    

Evan:   I'm  so  excited  about  it.    

Jonathan:    Who  are  you  meeting  there?    

Evan:   We're  actually  going  to  meet  the  prince.    

Jonathan:    Oh  my  God!  How  awesome.    

Evan:   Crazy.    

Jonathan:    Very  subtle,  but  that  was  good  enough.  I  don't  know  if  you  guys  
caught  that.  Just  you  watch  my  shoulder,  it  almost  became  like  Alicia  was  
not  in  the  room.  It  was  like  just  me  and  Evan  for  a  moment.    

Evan:   I  couldn't  get  my  attention  to  her.    

Jonathan:    Here's  what  I  was  going  to  do.  The  key  part  is  if  Alicia  in  that  
moment  had  been  attracted  to  me  or  at  least  wanted  to  be  a  part  of  this,  
let's  say  not  attracted,  but  at  least  she  puts  a  value  on  me.  She  has  some  
value  because  of  our  conversation.    

 
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She's  enjoying  it.  Unfortunately,  I'm  taken  and  I  just  can't  give  her  the  love  
that  she  needs,  but  Evan  is  a  great  pick  for  her,  and  I  want  her  and  Evan  to  
just  something  to  work  between  them.    

What  I'm  going  to  do  is  all  that  value  that  she's  ascribed  to  me,  I'm  just  
going  to  give  to  Evan.  You  can  almost  think  of  it  like  energy  transfer.  She's  
into  me  a  little  bit.  Or  at  least  she's  friendly  with  me  and  she  likes  me  and  
I'm  not  a  threat.  She  thinks  of  me  as  a  nice  dude.    

When  Evan  comes  in,  I'm  just  going  to  be  expressive.  I'm  going  to,  I  made  
this  accomplishment  intro.  I've  given  him  all  of  my  attention.  I've  given  him  
all  my  expression,  and  then  at  the  last  moment,  I'll  be  like,  "Hey,  listen,  by  
the  way,  guys,  I  got  to  go  grab  a  drink  right  now  because  I  see  my  cup  is  
empty.  Do  you  want  something?"    

Evan:   Yeah,  sure.    

Jonathan:    Can  I  get  you  something,  too?    

Alicia:  Great,  yeah.      

Jonathan:    Notice  the  order  of  this.  Evan  first,  Alicia  second.  The  person  
who  I'm  giving  the  value  to,  I'm  just  totally  trying  to  prop  him  up.  That's  the  
key  point  here.  This  is  hopefully  what  you  and  your  buddies  can  do  for  each  
other.    

Ideally,  this  is  what  your  want  your  buddies  to  do  for  you  when  you  are  the  
king  or  if  you  want  to  make  this  stuff  work,  but  it's  really  just  giving  all  the  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

value  to  your  buddies  almost  blocking  the  girl  up,  but  not  like  that  because  
you  just  lose  focus  on  her  and  you  focused  on  him.  You  take  care  of  him  
first.  It's  all  about  him,  and  then  you  make  your  way,  and  you  let  them  ...  
You  see  what  happens  when  you  leave.  That's  it.    

Thank  you  guys  for  that.  I  think  that  was  the  demonstration  we  needed  for  
that.  That's  the  end  of  the  segment.  Thank  you  very  much.  That's  King  
Game,  guys.  You,  guys  can  have  a  seat.  

Do  you  have  questions  about  that?  Yes,  let's  give  them  a  round  of  applause.  
Evan  is  always  amazing.  You  guys  have  any  questions  about  that.  I  know  it's  
some  theoretical  stuff.  I  know  it's  a  lot  of  manipulating  situations  in  your  
favor  and  so  on  and  so  forth.    

Someone  mentioned  that  “it  looks  like  initially  I  meet  the  girl,  and  I  ignore  
her.”  He  wants  to  know  if  I  also  have  some  best  practices  for  when  I  go  
back  in  or  was  that  coming  later?  

I  love  what  he  said  about  best  practices.  Do  you  have  some  best  practices  
for  when  you  come  back  in?  Really,  what  you  want  to  do  here,  that's  a  
great  question.  What  you  want  to  do  is  just  continue  to  create  value  in  the  
room,  and  what  you  will  notice  is  if  you  do  the  intro  that  I  showed  you  and  
you  continue  to  create  value  in  the  room,  she  will  be  watching  you.  Unless  
she's  married  or  taken,  but  she  will  be  watching  you  if  she's  single  and  if  
you  made  that  right  first  impression.  Her  eyes  will  be  on  you.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

What  I've  done  in  the  past  is  usually  I'll  bring  somebody  over.  In  that  
particular  scenario,  I  was  like,  "Hey,  so-­‐and-­‐so,  you're  not  doing  anything  
right  now,  are  you?"  She  was  in  a  conversation.  "You're  not  doing  anything,  
are  you?  Can  you  come  chop  these  vegetables  for  me?"  She  comes  in.  I'm  
like,  "No,  you're  doing  it  all  wrong."  I  come  over.  "No,  no.  Just  like  that."  
Then  leave.  Getting  her  to  do  little  tasks,  getting  her  to  participate  in  stuff.    

Maybe  if  you're  just,  if  it's  at  a  party,  "Hey,  can  you  help  me  pour  these  
drinks?  I  got  to  get  drinks  for  three  people.  Can  you  get  the  wine?  I'll  get  
the  ..."  whatever  that  just  came  to  mind.    

You'll  see  her  eye  on  you.  At  various  points  of  the  evening,  you  can  just  ...  If  
you  don't  get  her  approaching  you,  which  she  will  if  you  have  enough  status  
in  the  room,  she  will,  I  promise.  If  you  don't  or  she's  just  not  that  quite  that  
receptive  to  guy's  status,  maybe  she's  responsive  to  it,  but  not  like  she's  
going  to  chase  it,  then  you  just  make  the  eye  contact  back.    

One  thing  that  I  love  to  do,  this  is  silly  but  it  works  dangerously  well  is  a  
little  wink.  I  might  just  do  a  little  wink  across  the  room.  I  see  her,  and  I'm  
smiling.  I'm  in  a  conversation.  I  give  this  stupid  little  wink  and  a  smile.  She  
doesn't  know  what  it  means.  It  could  be  friendly.  It  could  be  sexual,  but  I  
could  catch  her  attention  with  that.  Then  maybe  I'd  walk  up  to  her.    

I'll  be  like,  "Did  I  catch  you  looking  at  me  from  over  there?"  It  depends  on  
how  on  you  want  to  make  it.  You  can  just  play  it  by  ear.  You  can  go  straight  
on.  You  can  do  the  wink.  Did  I  catch  you  looking  at  me  because  I  was  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

definitely  looking  at  you."  You  could  go  direct.  You  could  bring  her  in,  have  
her  do  little  tasks.  You  could  ...  all  sorts  of  things  like  that.    

We  got  another  great  question.  He  asked  if  you  continue  the  challenge  or  
do  you  go  out  for  friendly  conversation?    

Just  trying  to  put  myself  in  situations  where  I've  done  this.  What  it  is,  it's  on  
selectively  giving  her  more  and  more.  You  just  have  to  use  your  social  
intelligence  in  that  moment  and  whatever  social  intelligence  you  can  
summon.  In  the  cooking  example,  I'm  going  to  tease  her  a  bit.  "No,  no,  you  
did  it  all  wrong.  That's  good.  Perfect."  Now  I'm  rewarding  her  a  little  bit.  
"That's  great.  Thank  you."  Run  over  to  make  the  soup,  then  come  back  to  it.  
"How  do  you  know  so  and  so.  Maybe  now  I  have  rapport.    

Here's  the  thing.  You're  asking  this  question.  I'm  so  glad  the  way  you're  
asking  this.  It  just  made  me  realize  something.  You're  asking  this  from  the  
perspective  of  a  man  who  does  not  have  women  do  stuff  for  him  
frequently.    

The  idea  that  you  have  to  be  proactive  in  getting  her  to  do  stuff  is  
something  that  King  Game  if  we  want  to  call  it  that,  completely  obvious,  
because  if  you  do  the  stuff  right,  then  she  will  be  trying  to  build  rapport  
with  you.  That's  usually  what  happens  because  usually  what  happens,  she'll  
be  asking  you  questions.  "So  how  long  have  you  lived  here?"  "So  how  did  
you  learn  how  to  cook?"  "So  how  do  you  know  so  and  so?"  She'll  be  the  
one  building  rapport  with  you.    

 
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At  that  point,  you  can  let  out  a  little  bit.  You  can  tease  her  a  little  bit.  You  
can  be  like,  "I  got  the  place  last  night  for  a  party."  You  just  break  rapport  for  
a  second.  "I  just  got  the  place  last  night  for  a  party.  I  actually  live  in  a  box  
down  the  street."  She'll  laugh.  "No,  I've  been  living  here  for  three  years.    

Usually,  it's  like  I'm  going  to  break  rapport  for  a  second.  Be  a  little  
flirtatious,  and  then  give  here  the  real  answer  to  the  question.  Come  back  
in.  "Where  in  the  city  do  you  live?"  Start  to  build  a  little  rapport.  Generally,  
if  I  notice  that  she's  starting  to  work  towards  building  rapport,  I  don't  know  
if  these  concepts  make  sense  to  you,  guys.    

If  she's  working  to  build  rapport  with  me  and  she's  asking  me  questions  and  
she's  trying  to  get  me  to  open  up,  I'm  going  to,  again,  take  a  programmatic  
approach  to  this,  but  maybe  the  rule  is  something  like,  give  her  a  snappy  
answer  one  out  of  every  four  times.  "I  just  rented  the  place  last  night.  I've  
lived  in  a  box  down  the  street.  Give  her  that  snappy  answer  maybe  one  of  
out  four  times  and  the  rest  of  the  times  be  genuine.  

As  we  establish  the  playfulness  and  the  flirtatiousness,  start  to  move  into  
more  genuineness,  and  actually  break  into  her  life  and  reward  her  for  trying  
to  build  rapport  with  you  by  doing  the  same  and  by  learning  about  her  life.    

We  talked  about  these  things  like  punishments  and  rewards  and  breaking  
rapport.  When  I  say  reward  her,  I  don't  want  it  to  sound  like  she's  a  dog.  At  
a  certain  point,  if  a  girl's  then  trying  to  build  rapport  with  you,  start  to  share  
with  her.  You  just  start  to  explore  with  her  and  see  the  mystery  of  it.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM KING GAME

Another  audience  member  asked  “what  if  some  is  trying  the  King  Game  and  
try  to  subordinate  you.  How  do  you  counter  that?”  

I’ll  respond  with  another  a  little  anecdote:  Have  any  of  you  ever  watched  
The  Wire?  If  you  have,  you  may  remember  that  scene  where  Marlo  walks  
into  a  candy  store,  and  he  steals  some  candy.  The  security  guard  comes  
running  after  him.  He's  like,  "Hey,  man.  You  can't  steal  that."  He  knows  who  
Marlo  is.  Marlo  just  looks  at  him.  He's  like  ...  It's  right  up  in  his  face.  He's  
like,  You  think  it's  one  way.  It's  actually  the  other  way.    

What  he's  saying  in  that  moment.  He's  saying,  "Your  badge  makes  you  think  
that  it's  one  way?  I  own  this  place.  I  can  do  whatever  the  fuck  I  want.  I  can  
kill  you  if  I  want  to.  You  think  it's  one  way.  I  think  it's  the  other  way."    

If  someone  is  trying  to  King  Game  you,  let's  take  a  couple  of  different  
scenarios.  There's  the  reality  of  the  situation.  If  somebody  has  more  status,  
they  have  more  status.  There's  little  things  you  can  do.  I  gave  you  some  
things  to  do  and  break  status  and  change  status.  You  can  withdraw.  That  
can  be  like,  "I  don't  approve  your  status."    

You  can  withdraw.  You  can  give  subtle  approval.  You  could  do  all  those  
things,  but  if  somebody  has  status  and  its  actual  status  and  everybody  else  
recognizes  that  that  person  has  status,  then  you  have  to  have  like  Steve  
Jobs  as  to  reality  distortion  to  feel  to  break  that.  I  don't  have  that  and  I  
don't  know  too  many  other  people  who  have  that.  There's  a  certain  point  
where  it  just  is  that  way.    

 
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The  King  stays  king.  In  a  certain  sense,  yes,  somebody  has  status.  There's  
not  a  lot  you  can  do  to  break  that.  What  you  can  do  is  you  can  withdraw.  
You  create  your  own  scene.  You  do  your  own  thing.    

One  of  the  things  that  I've  told  people  who  have  trained  with  me  ...  David  
Tian  is  a  great  example.  He  was  always  very  subordinate  in  status  to  me,  
and  he  put  himself  in  that  situation  because  he  was  learning  from  me,  and  I  
was  his  first  coach.  There's  a  point  where  we  had  a  conversation  where  he  
was  like,  "Listen,  man.  I  realized  I  need  to  break  off.    

I  need  to  create  my  own  thing.  I  need  to  be  my  own  guide  because  if  I  want  
to  be  the  leader,  if  I  want  to  make  this  work  for  me,  then  I  can't  always  be  
subordinate  to  you."  I  said,  "Okay,  I  get  that."  Totally  fine,  and  he  created  
his  own  reality  and  people  lived  in  it  and  people  loved  it.    

That's  the  best  answer  I  can  give  you.  Make  new  friends  if  somebody's  
constantly  tooling  you.  I  have  been  told  that  I  have  the  habit  of  constantly  
tooling  other  guys,  and  I  really  don't  mean  to.  It's  just  like  I'm  very  driven.  
I'm  very  motivated.  I  have  a  vision  of  how  things  should  be,  and  I  have  a  
low  tolerance  for  when  things  aren't  that  way.    

In  social  situations  in  business  and  all  that,  I  don't  mean  to  do  that.  It  just  
happens.  Your  decision  at  that  point  is,  do  I  want  to  put  myself  around  
somebody  like  that  following  their  lead  and  take  part  in  what's  created  or  
do  I  want  to  create  my  own  thing,  take  the  risks  of  that,  and  build  up  my  
own  legacy.  I  know  we're  talking  big  words,  legacy  here.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM NICK ON IMPRESSION

CHAPTER 14: NICK SPARKS ON IMPRESSION

I'm  here  today  to  talk  to  you  guys  about  approaching  women.    Now,  my  
assumption  is,  is  that  if  you've  been  reading  up  on  this  stuff,  you've  been  
studying  this  stuff,  trying  to  learn  about  it  for  a  while,  you've  already  heard  
a  lot  about  approaching  women.    Is  that  a  fair  assumption?    Read  a  lot,  
heard  a  lot,  all  sorts  of  stuff  in  your  brain  about  this  …?    You  can  just  nod  if  
that's  the  case.    I  know  we're  on  the  same  page,  yeah?      
 
I'm  not  going  to  try  to  just  dump  a  whole  bunch  more  general  information  
to  lump  into  all  the  other  stuff  you've  already  learned.    What  I  want  to  do  is  
I  want  to  talk  about  three  specific  things  when  it  comes  to  approaching  that  
I  feel  is  going  to  be  the  most  beneficial,  I  feel  will  make  the  biggest  impact  if  
you  take  these  things  and  you  put  them  into  effect  immediately,  you're  
going  to  see  the  most  results  from  women  you're  attempting  to  talk  to.      
 
The  first  one  that  I  want  to  talk  about  is  something  that  I  probably  get  
asked  more  than  just  approaching  in  general.    It's  about  approaching  and  
talking  to  women  during  the  daytime,  in  daytime  environments.      
 
That  seems  to  be  more  often  than  not  what  guys  are  struggling  with  a  little  
bit  more  than  the  bar  time  stuff  and  I'll  talk  about  the  bar  time  stuff  sure  
because  I  love  it.    But  it  seems  that  daytime  is  really  where  guys  stumble  up  
a  lot  when  it  comes  to  starting  conversations.    They  don't  feel  as  

 
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comfortable.    It's  not  like  a  bar,  where  you  have  an  excuse  because  
everybody's  there  to  talk  and  mingle.    It's  a  little  bit  trickier.      
 
What  I'll  say  about  daytime  is  you're  maybe  success  numbers  are  going  to  
naturally  just  be  a  little  bit  lower,  why?    Because  as  I  mentioned,  people  
aren't  going  out  and  about  all  day,  every  day  just  for  the  sake  of  socializing,  
just  for  the  sake  of  meeting  guys  like  girls  do  in  bars.    When  people  go  out  
during  the  day  time  you're  running  errands.    You've  got  a  million  things  
you're  trying  to  do  and  that's  kind  of  the  last  thing  that's  on  your  mind.    Just  
in  general,  the  numbers  are  going  to  be  a  little  bit  different  than  the  night-­‐
time.      
 
However,  there's  still,  as  I'm  sure  you're  all  aware,  a  ton  of  people  out  there  
who  you'd  probably  love  to  talk  to,  a  bunch  of  women  out  there  you'd  love  
to  meet  who  you  don't  see  in  bars.    Who  you  don't  always  have  the  
opportunity  to  talk  to  when  you  go  out  at  night  and  you  want  to  see  what  
the  chances  with  them.    You  want  to  see  what's  going  on?    You  want  to  see  
what  might  possibly  be.    Not  let  those  situations  pass  you  by,  not  miss  out  
on  a  girl  that  you  could  possibly  have  something  with  just  because  you  
didn't  know  what  to  say  or  do.    That's  why  I'm  talking  about  this  right  now.      
 
The  secret  to  talking  to  women  during  the  day,  the  big  secret,  I'm  going  to  
say  it  and  then  I'll  just  kind  of  explain  it;  the  secret  is  to  not  treat  pretty  girls  
any  differently  than  anyone  else.    You've  heard  this  before,  "Beautiful  
women  don't  want  to  be  treated  different  than  anyone  else."    In  fact,  that's  

 
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one  of  the  things  they  hate  the  most.    They  want  to  be  treated  exactly  the  
same,  right?    We  all  know  this.    How  do  you  do  this  when  it  comes  to  
approaching  during  the  day  time?      
 
The  secret  to  approaching  during  the  day  time,  talking  to  strangers  is  that  
it's  a  muscle.    It's  a  skill.    The  more  you  do  it,  the  better  you  get  at  it.    The  
more  confident  you  are  when  you  do  it.    The  more  you  do  all  the  things  that  
we  teach  you  that  really  matter,  which  I'll  talk  about  in  a  moment.      
 
If  you  try  to  just  do  something  or  just  save  something  that  you're  trying  to  
do  for  pretty  girls  you  see  and  you're  not  doing  it  any  other  time  in  your  
life,  it's  like  anything  else  you  do  only  rarely,  you  only  try  to  do  in  the  most  
difficult  circumstances  for  you  to  do  so.    You're  going  to  be  terrible  at  it.    
You're  going  to  suck  and  you'll  probably  get  a  majority  of  negative  
responses  when  you  try.      
 
But  just  like  anything  else,  the  more  you  do  it,  the  more  you  practice  it,  
especially  in  situations  that  don't  terrify  you  that  are  a  little  bit  easier  for  
you  to  do  what  you  need  to  do,  you  get  better.    You  improve.    You  become  
more  comfortable  and  you  get  more  positive  responses  from  everyone,  
simple,  super,  super,  simple.    The  secret  about  approaching  women  during  
the  day  is  to  not  treat  them  any  differently  than  anyone  else.    How  do  you  
get  good  at  this?    How  do  you  get  good  at  talking  to  girls  during  the  day?    
Simple,  you  talk  to  everyone.    
 

 
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What  I  always  say  is,  "The  more  you  get  used  to  making  just  a  little  passing  
comment  to  a  woman  at  the  bus  stop,  the  older  lady  sitting  there,  just  to  
say,  'Beautiful  weather  out  today.    Man,  the  bus  is  taking  a  little  longer  
today.'    Just  getting  used  to  making  that  first  comment,  starting  that  
interaction,  talking  to  a  stranger,  not  looking  for  anything,  not  trying  to  
make  anything,  just  getting  used  to  making  that  first  comment."      
 
The  guy  who's  working  the  cash  register  in  the  drugstore.    Well,  he  asked  
me,  "How  is  everything  going  to  do?"    Getting  used  to  making  that  first  
comment  to  another  human  being  to  initiate  some  sort  of  dialogue.    It's  just  
scary  in  general.    It's  just  awkward  in  general.    The  more  you  practice  this  
generally,  universally  awkward  action,  the  easier  it  is  to  do  with  the  people  
that  intimidate  you  the  most.      
 
It's  I  always  like  to  say,  "A  basketball  player  can't  just  hop  into  game  seven  
of  the  NBA  Finals.    The  pressure  is  so  high  right  there  that  he's  going  to  
crack."    You  got  to  play  high  school  ball,  develop  your  skills,  play  college  
ball,  play  in  the  early  prose.      
 
Even  with  Lebron,  how  many  seasons  did  it  take  for  him  to  not  crack  under  
that  pressure  in  the  Finals  in  the  playoffs  to  finally  win  one,  to  develop  his  
own  muscles  in  less  intense  situations?    So  if  you  think  you  can  just  walk  up  
to  the  prettiest  girl  that  makes  your  heart  beat  out  of  your  chest  and  be  
confident  and  charismatic  when  you've  never  actually  practiced  this  stuff  or  
barely  practiced  this  stuff,  it  just  won't  happen.      

 
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Saying  something  to  the  mama  in  the  grocery  store,  "Hey,  have  you  tried  
this  cereal  before?    Those  carrots  look  really  good  day."    Getting  used  to  
making  that  first  statement,  that  first  introduction  of  dialogue  with  another  
human  being.    The  more  you  do  this  with  everyone  you  come  into  contact  
with,  easier  it's  going  to  be  when  you're  now  next  to  a  girl  in  line  at  
Starbucks.      
 
Because  this  is  what  you  do  with  everyone.    This  is  your  standard  "MO."    It  
would  be  weird  if  you  didn't  say  something  to  her  in  that  situation.    
Treating  pretty  girls  no  different  than  you  treat  everyone  else.    That's  the  
secret  to  talking  to  women  during  the  day,  really,  really  simple.      
 
That's  the  first  thing  I  wanted  to  share.    The  rest  we're  going  to  get  a  little  
bit  more  less  simple,  a  little  bit  more  complicated.    But  for  guys  that  are  
struggling  in  this  area,  it  really  couldn't  be  simpler  if  you  take  the  actions  
and  you  work  on  the  skills  that  you  need  to  develop  in  order  to  get  the  
results  you  want  in  life,  just  like  anything  else.      
 
The  next  thing  I  want  to  talk  about  is  another  skill,  another  thing  to  
develop,  another  thing  to  work  on  with  the  old  lady  on  the  bus  stop.    
Another  thing  to  practice  with  the  guy  at  the  grocery  store  that  the  more  
you  develop  it,  the  more  you're  going  to  see  positive  responses  from  every  
person  that  you  talk  to.    This  is  what  I  call  the  most  important  thing  when  

 
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you  approach  another  stranger.    The  most  important  thing,  the  thing  that  
matters  more  than  anything  else  in  those  first  five  seconds.      
 
People  talk  about  those  first  five  seconds  when  somebody  makes  a  
judgment  on  you,  one  way  or  another,  a  woman  knows  if  she  wants  to  
sleep  with  a  guy  within  the  first  five  seconds  and  yeah,  that  can  change,  of  
course.    But  if  you've  ever  read  the  book  "Blink"  by  Malcolm  Gladwell,  you  
know  that  human  beings  have  this  incredibly  high  tuned  and  advanced  
system  of  being  able  to  make  snap  judgments  about  things  and  they're  
usually  right,  so  this  first  five  seconds  really  matter.    This  is  the  only  thing  
that  matters  in  those  first  five  seconds.    This  is  the  only  thing  that  you  will  
be  judged  on  that  will  make  a  difference  when  you  approach.      
 
Of  course,  you  have  to  factor  in  the  woman  could  you  be  interested,  not  
interested.    You're  still  just  kind  of  finding  out  whether  she's  in  the  mood  to  
chat  and  socialize  or  not,  but  within  that  window  of  whether  she's  available  
and  interested  or  not,  this  right  here  is  going  to  make  the  biggest  difference  
in  influencing  which  way  she  might  possibly  go.    The  most  important  thing  
when  you  approach,  the  only  thing  that  matters  when  you  start  a  
conversation  is  something  I  call  "Presence."    Is  what  I  call  your  "Presence."      
 
There's  a  couple  more  minor  aspects  to  presence,  the  distance  you're  using  
to  carry  yourself  with.    How  slow  and  strong  your  voice  is  when  you  speak,  
if  you're  speaking  from  your  chest,  instead  of  your  voice.    But  the  main  part  

 
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of  Presence,  the  most  important  aspect  of  your  Presence  when  you  
approach  is  something  that  I  call  "Focus."    This  is  really  it,  Focus.      
 
If  there's  one  thing  that  you  do  that  matters  not  only  just  in  the  first  five  
seconds,  but  all  throughout  your  interaction,  this  is  it.    If  you  do  one  thing  
for  the  rest  of  your  life,  do  this  and  you'll  see  more  positive  responses  then  
you  could  have  ever  imagined.    What  do  I  mean  by  focus?    A  human  being  
can  always  feel  how  strongly  you  are  focused  on  them  versus  dividing  your  
attention  between  them  and  any  other  of  the  million  things  in  your  
surroundings  or  your  head.      
 
A  better  example  of  exactly  what  I  mean  by  focus,  like  you  guys  all  just  do  
and  exercise  with  me  and  you  can  do  this  at  home  as  well.    I'd  like  you  to  go  
ahead  and  look  at  me,  but  also  as  you're  looking  at  me  just  kind  of  take  in  
all  of  your  surroundings.    Get  as  peripheral  as  you  possibly  can  and  I'm  
going  to  do  it,  too.      
 
I'm  speaking  and  I'm  seeing  something  in  the  distance,  but  I  can  also  take  in  
my  whole  surroundings.    Now,  as  you're  doing  this,  you'll  notice  something.    
You'll  notice  that  yes,  you  can  see  more,  but  everything  else,  all  of  the  
details  of  everything  becomes  more  blurred.    Everything  is  just  a  little  
hazier  and  blurry.    You  notice  things  that  are  bright,  are  shiny.    If  there's  any  
movement  going  on,  you  can  pick  that  out  a  little  bit  and  you  feel  a  little  bit  
more  anxious.    As  you've  got  this  peripheral  view  going  on,  you  feel  a  little  
bit  more  anxious.    You  feel  a  little  bit  more  tense.      

 
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Why  do  you  feel  more  tense?    Because  this  mode,  this  peripheral  mode  is  
more  about  defensive  mechanism.    When  we're  being  hunted,  we  go  into  
this  alert  mode  where  we  can  see  danger  around  us.    We  can  see  shiny  
things.    We  can  see  movement.    We're  on  this  alert  of  where  the  danger's  
at.    It's  a  naturally  weaker  position.      
 
Whenever  we  get  anxious  because  she's  really  pretty  or  we're  just  not  
comfortable  talking  to  strangers  or  whatever  reason,  we  naturally  go  into  
this  defensive  mode.    We  naturally  go  into  our  brains  trying  to  keep  tabs  on  
as  many  things  as  possible,  jumping  around  in  a  million  different  directions.      
We  become  more  anxious,  not  very  attractive.      
 
Now,  I'd  like  you  to  take  your  wide  angle  view.    I'd  like  you  to  take  your  
peripheral  view  and  just  focus  in  on  one  thing  as  strongly  as  possible,  make  
it  me  just  for  the  sake.    I  want  you  to  put  all  your  attention,  all  your  focus,  
clear  out  everything  from  your  head,  clear  out  everything  from  your  
periphery  and  just  focus  on  me  as  strongly  as  possible.    You'll  notice  when  
you  do  this  there's  almost  like  a  little  tunnel  that  forms  between  the  thing  
that  you're  focused  on  and  you.      
 
Everything  else  kind  of  becomes  blurry.    Everything  else  just  …  But  the  thing  
and  your  focus  is  crystal  clear.    You  can  see  every,  little,  tiny  detail  of  that  
thing  that  you're  focused  on.    If  you  notice  it  also  feels  differently  in  your  

 
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chest.    You  feel  stronger.    You  feel  more  in  control.    You  feel  more  
confident.      
 
Why  is  that  the  case?    Because  this  is  a  naturally  kind  of  hunter  mechanism.    
When  we're  in  control,  when  we're  pursuing  some  prey  of  some  sort,  we  
snap  into  this  mode.    We  have  greater  control  over  our  muscles.    We  feel  
more  in  tune  with  our  body.    We're  ready  for  action  and  we  feel  good  
about  it,  focus.    This  is  the  most  powerful  thing.      
 
How  strongly  you're  focused  on  another  person  versus  being  in  your  head  
thinking  about  15  different  things  versus  being  distracted  by  your  
environment  because  you're  nervous.    Focus  is  the  most  important  thing  
when  you  interact  with  any  other  human  being  that  will  determine  how  
strongly  they  respond  to  you,  how  strongly  they  relate  to  you.      
 
You  want  to  test  this  out?    Go  to  a  crowded  bar  and  try  to  get  a  drink  and  if  
you  know  every  guy  a  drink,  especially  if  it's  a  male  bartender,  getting  a  
drink  isn't  always  the  easiest  thing  if  it's  crowded,  right?    Get  up  to  the  bar,  
manage  to  squeeze  in,  square  your  shoulders  up  and  just  focus  on  that  
bartender  as  much  as  you  possibly  can.      
 
What  I  like  to  usually  do,  I'll  make  a  bet  with  a  girl  next  to  me,  easy  way  to  
get  a  free  drink.    You'll  say,  "Hey,  I  bet  I  can  get  a  drink  before  you?"    If  
there's  a  male  bartender  every  girl  in  the  world  will  take  that  bet  because  
she  thinks,  "There's  no  way  this  dude  is  going  to  get  a  drink  before  me."    I  

 
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square  my  shoulders  up  to  the  bar,  focus  as  strongly  as  I  can  on  the  
bartender.      
 
As  a  defense  mechanism,  we  can  always  feel  when  another  animal  is  
focused  on  us.    We  just  get  this  sensation  in  our  body.    As  I'm  focused  on  
this  bartender,  half  the  time  I'll  see  him  shift  a  little  bit  uncomfortably  
because  he  just  has  this  feeling  in  his  body  that  he  doesn't  know  what's  
going  on?    Then  nine  times  out  of  ten  as  his  head  circles  back  around,  nine  
times  out  of  ten  the  first  eyes  he  comes  into  contact  with  are  mine.    I  just,  
"Two  drinks,"  yell  out  my  drink  order  and  let  her  pay  for  them  since  she  lost  
the  bet.    I  usually  buy  the  second  round  if  I  like  talking  to  her.      
 
In  those  first  five  seconds,  now  there  is  nothing  that  matters  more  than  
how  strongly  you're  focused  on  the  other  person  you're  interacting  with.    
You  come  up  with  this  strong  focus  like  this  expectation  that  they're  going  
to  respond  back  to  you  and  respond  back  to  you  with  respect  and  respond  
back  to  you  with  enthusiasm  because  why  wouldn't  they?      
 
Then,  you're  probably  going  to  get  a  positive  response  out  of  them.    If  you  
come  in  and  you're  distracted,  you're  in  your  head  and  you're  everywhere  
else,  you  probably  will  not  get  a  positive  response.    Once  again,  this  is  the  
only  thing  that  matters  in  the  first  five  seconds.      
 
If  I  walk  up  and  I've  got  the  most  clever  line  in  the  world,  this  is  just  some  
brilliance  …  I  don't  know.    Some  social  genius  came  up  with,  maybe  me  in  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM NICK ON IMPRESSION

my  very  best  days.    I  could  get  very  clever  sometimes,  but  if  I  don't  deliver  
that  with  any  presence,  if  I  come  up  and  I'm  just  like,  "Hey  …"  and  the  most  
clever  line  in  the  world,  I'm  probably  going  to  get  a  negative  response  nine  
out  of  ten.      
 
But  what's  my  usual  go-­‐to  line,  my  usual  most  common  online?    "Hey,  
how's  it  going?"    Once  again,  if  you  deliver  that  without  any  presence  you'll  
get  blown  right  out  of  the  water.    If  you  walk  up  to  her,  all  your  focus  
strongly  on  her  and  you  just  say,  "Hey,  how's  it  going?"    You're  probably  
going  to  get  a  good  response,  crazy,  but  it's  the  only  thing  that  matters.      
 
The  other  thing  that  this  means,  what  doesn't  matter,  what  I'm  not  saying  
here  is  once  again,  anything  that  you  could  possibly  say.    What  I  love  about  
this  is  that  one  of  the  most  common  excuses  that  guys  make  for  not  
approaching  is,  "I  didn't  know  what  to  say?      
 
I  couldn't  think  of  anything  to  say.    If  I  would  have  had  something  to  say,  I  
would  have  said  something."    One  of  the  most  common  excuses  and  we  see  
when  we  look  at  that,  at  this,  that's  all  it  is.    It's  just  an  excuse,  why?    
Because  what  you  say  doesn't  matter.      
 
Guys  who  are  good  with  girls,  they're  not  thinking,  "Oh,  what  do  I  say?    I  
got  to  say  something  clever  that  she's  going  to  like."    They're  just  looking  
for  any  excuse  they  can  use  to  say  something.    It  doesn't  matter  what  it  is.      

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM NICK ON IMPRESSION

They're  just  looking  for  the  first  dumb  excuses  that  pops  into  their  head  so  
then  go  up  and  say  something  to  this  girl,  deliver  it  with  as  much  presence,  
deliver  it  with  as  much  confidence,  strong  focus,  maybe  a  little  bit  of  the  
flirtatiousness  that  I  talked  about  yesterday  and  see  how  she  responds,  
knowing  that  if  he  comes  up  strong,  he's  going  to  be  more  likely  to  get  a  
positive  response.      
 
Every  girl  that  responded  positively  to  you  because  you  had  some  clever  
line,  she  would  have  responded  positively  to  you  if  you  would  have  just  
said,  "Hey…"  as  long  as  you're  doing  the  only  thing  that  matters.    Man,  I  
dare  you  to  test  this  out  as  strongly  as  possible  just  to  see  how  people  
respond  to  you  and  it  will  blow  your  mind,  guarantee  it.      
 
The  third  thing  I  want  to  talk  about,  a  little  bit  more  specific  still,  I  want  to  
talk  about  the  most  common  ways  that  I  start  conversations  in  bars,  shift  
back  to  bars.    I  like  them.    Great  for  socializing,  mixing,  mingling,  having  a  
great  time.    The  most  common  way  that  I  start  conversations  in  bars  and  
yeah,  as  I  mentioned,  "Hey,  how's  it  going?"  is  my  usual  go-­‐to  line,  but  
that's  usually  not  how  I  start  interactions  in  bars.      
 
The  most  common  way  that  I  start  interactions  that  I  basically  approach  the  
girl  and  I  find  out  whether  or  not  she's  interested  in  me,  I  do  all  that  simply  
with  eye  contact.    Before  I  even  walk  up,  before  I  even  approach,  the  
majority  of  my  interactions  start  with  the  eye  contact  that  I'm  making.      
 

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM NICK ON IMPRESSION

What  eye  contact  says  to  a  girl  when  you  look  at  her,  I  contact  says,  "I'm  
into  you.    I  think  you're  pretty.    I  find  you  attractive."    If  a  girl  looks  at  you  
and  she  sees  you  looking,  she  can  assume,  "Oh,  he  must  think  I'm  cute."    
But  now  if  you  look  away  really  fast,  she's  going  to  wonder,  "Oh,  well  why  is  
he  looking  at  me  now?    At  first  I  thought  he  was  cute.    Now  he's  looking  
away.    Maybe  he  wants  to  kidnap  me  or  something?    I  don't  know?"      
 
It's  important  when  I'm  checking  out  a  girl  that  I'm  attracted  to,  I'm  not  
ashamed  of  it.    So  many  guys  are  terrified  to  look  at  a  woman,  "I  can't  look  
looked  at  her.    I  can't  just  stare.    What  if  she  catches  me?"    Like  yeah,  what  
if  she  catches  you?      
 
I  hope  she  catches  me.    I  pray  that  the  girl  catches  me  looking  at  her  
because  I'm  going  to  say  that's  me  saying  and  to  her  right  there,  "I  think  
you're  cute."    What  are  you  going  to  do  about  it?    What  are  you  so  afraid  of  
by  letting  a  girl  know  that  you're  into  her  and  that  you're  attracted  to  her?      
 
One  of  the  things  that  will  turn  it  on  a  woman  most  is  when  a  confident  
man  isn't  afraid  to  just  say  that  he  likes  her  in  some  way,  shape  or  form.    
Once  again,  if  she's  not  into  me,  great.    What's  she  going  to  do  about  it?    
I'm  still  attracted  to  her.    Whether  or  not  I'm  looking  at  her  a  little  extra  or  
not  isn't  going  to  change  how  attracted  she  is  to  me.    In  fact,  my  confidence  
in  the  fact  that  I'm  not  afraid  to  express  that  is  going  to  make  her  more  
attracted  to  me.      

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM NICK ON IMPRESSION

Now,  she  might  still  be  in  a  relationship.    I  might  not  be  her  type.    She  might  
just  not  be  in  a  good  mood  that  night  or  whatever,  but  if  she  is  single  and  
looking  and  possibly  attracted  to  me  in  the  least,  the  fact  that  I'm  
confidently  not  afraid  to  express  the  fact  that  I'm  into  her,  attracted  to  her  
is  one  of  the  most  confident,  charismatic,  attractive  means  I  could  ever  look  
to  start  and  interaction  with  her.      
 
If  a  girl  catches  my  eye,  I'm  going  to  check  her  out.    At  first,  I  just  want  to  
find  out,  "What's  going  on  with  this  girl?    What  kind  of  mood  is  she  in?    Is  
she  just  in  a  quiet  conversation  with  her  friends  not  looking  to  mix  and  
mingle,  not  giving  any  signals  that  she's  interested  in  socialize?    I'll  leave  
that  on  the  back  burner.    I'll  check  her  out  later  to  maybe  see  if  she's  
opened  up  a  little  bit,  but  I'll  usually  look  to  see  if  there's  any  other  people  
that  catch  my  eye  first."      
 
Look  around  and  maybe  sees  looking  around?    Maybe  she's  got  that  whole,  
"I'm  bored  and  I  wish  that  somebody  would  come  up  and  talk  to  me  right  
now,"  on  her  face.    Usually  if  a  girl's  looking  around,  even  if  she's  talking  to  
her  friends,  but  she  still  scanning  out,  looking  around,  she's  saying,  "I  wish  
some  guy  would  come  up  and  talk  to  me  right  now."    I'm  observing  her.    I'm  
finding  out,  "What's  going  on  with  this  girl?    What  kind  of  mood  is  she  in?"      
 
My  favorite  type  is  as  I'm  checking  her  out,  sometimes  she'll  look  back  at  
me.    Now  it's  rare  for  a  girl  to  hold  eye  contact  when  they  look  at  you,  why?    
Just  like  us,  you  get  nervous.    You  make  eye  contact  with  someone  it's  a  

 
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little  nerve-­‐racking  and  most  people's  first  response  is  to  look  away.    It's  
very  rare  that  somebody  actually  holds  that.      
 
If  a  girl  holds  that,  well  man,  it's  on  like  Donkey  Kong,  but  nine  times  out  of  
ten  she  makes  eye  contact.    She  looks  away  and  that's  great.    I  love  it  
because  it's  cute.    I  can  relate  to  it  and  then  I'm  always  waiting  for  the  look  
back.    I'm  not  breaking  myself.    I'm  not,  "Oh  that  was  awkward.    She  
doesn't  like  me.    I  better  never  looked  again,  otherwise  she  might  think  
something  and  I'm  going  to  blow  my  chances  with  her."      
 
No.    I'm  going  to  keep  looking  at  her.    I'm  going  to  wait.    Most  of  the  times  
there's  going  to  be  a  look  back.    There's  going  to  be  a  little  peek  back  again  
and  as  soon  as  I  get  that  peek  back  again,  once  again  it's  on  like  Donkey  
Kong.    I  smile  as  if  I  just  caught  her  peeking  back  at  me.    It  was  cute.    I  might  
waive  or  something,  but  nine  times  out  of  ten  if  she  looks  back,  I  smile.    I'm  
going  to  be  approaching  her  right  there,  why?    She's  already  said,  "I'm  into  
you.    Please  come  talk  to  me."      
 
If  there's  one  other  bit  I  could  give  you,  it's  start  to  become  so  much  more  
aggressive  with  your  eye  contact.    Eye  contact  really,  it's  the  currency  by  
which  all  of  this  romantic  stuff  happens.    When  you're  speaking  to  
someone,  it's  going  to  be  that  extra  look  that  you  give  them,  doing  the  stuff  
that  I  talked  about  yesterday,  just  letting  your  gaze  linger  for  a  second  after  
they're  done  talking.    When  somebody  else  is  talking  when  they're  finished,  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM NICK ON IMPRESSION

just  kind  of  checking  back  in  with  them  and  holding  that  eye  contact  for  a  
second,  just  because  you  like  looking  at  them.      
 
One  other  thing  I  could  give  you  is  to  just  get  so  much  more  confident  and  
aggressive  with  your  eye  contact  and  not  be  so  ashamed  of  it,  not  to  be  so  
apologetic  of  it,  like,  "Yeah,  I'm  looking  at  you.    What  are  you  going  to  do?      
   
I  think  you're  cute,  actually."    "Oh  no,  what's  going  to  happen?"    Nothing,  
actually.    She'll  smile,  take  the  compliment  whether  she's  interested  in  me  
or  not.    Really  start  observing,  really  start  looking.    Do  about  ten  times  
more  eye  contact  than  you're  used  to  and  you're  going  to  notice  a  lot  more  
opportunities  for  girls  to  talk  to  when  you're  actually  observing  what  kind  
of  mode  they're  in  instead  of  looking,  "She's  hot.    What  do  I  say?"      
 
When  you're  really  paying  attention  and  seeing  where  they're  coming  from  
and  to  see  a  lot  more  opportunities  and  your  interactions  are  going  to  start  
off  a  lot  more  flirtatiously,  a  lot  more  sexual  than  when  you're  just  kind  of  
walking  up  to  say,  "Hi."      
 
When  it  all  starts  with  the  eye  contact  that  just  lays  out  exactly  what  kind  of  
interaction  this  is  going  to  be,  where  this  is  going  to  go,  how  I  feel  about  
you,  no  question,  no  confusion.    We're  talking  to  each  other  because  we're  
attracted  to  each  other.      
 

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM NICK ON IMPRESSION

Also,  I  want  to  just  compare  what  a  stark  break  away  this  is  from  the  usual  
thought  about  approaching  because  most  of  the  stuff  that's  out  there  on  
approaching,  most  of  this  knowledge  that  you've  soaked  in  and  you've  
heard  for  how  long,  it  all  kind  of  reinforces  the  same  idea  that  you're  
supposed  to  impress  her.      
 
You  have  to  win  her  over.    You've  got  to  say  the  right  thing.    You've  got  to  
do  the  right  thing  in  order  to  get  this  girl  to  like  you.    Kind  of  like  how  much  
of  a  tap  dancing  monkey  can  you  be  to  hopefully  get  a  positive  response  
out  of  her?    It's  kind  of  what  nine  times  out  of  ten  materials  on  approaching  
has  you  doing.      
 
One  of  the  most  attractive  things  that  a  woman  can  find  in  a  man  is  that  
he's  not  trying  too  hard.    That  he  makes  it  easy.    That  he's  not  trying  to  
stress  himself  out  to  do  this  song  and  dance.    That's  why  when  I  approach,  
it's  just  done  with  the  eye  contact.    That's  when  I  approach  my  most  
common  line  is,  "Hey,  how's  it  going?"  and  then  I  usually  follow  it  up  with  a,  
"What  are  you  up  to  tonight?"    Because  I'm  not  trying  to  demonstrate  that  
I'm  trying  to  dance,  jump  through  some  hoops  for  you.      
 
I'm  demonstrating  that  I'm  good.    That  I'm  interested  in  you.    That  I'd  like  to  
find  out  more  about  you,  but  I  don't  need  to  jump  through  some  hoops  for  
your  approval.    I  don't  have  to  try  to  work  for  you.    I'm  just  interested  in  
finding  out  who  you  are.    I  don't  have  to  prove  myself.    I'm  great.    "How's  it  
going?    What  are  you  up  to?"  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM NICK ON IMPRESSION

 
That's  why,  even  though  it's  simple  and  even  though  guys  will  say,  "That's  
stupid.    You  can't  just  say  that?    You've  got  to  say  something  else."    That's  
why  that  is  the  most  attractive  way  that  you  can  approach  and  you  can  
start  a  conversation.    As  long  as  you're  doing  the  only  thing  that  matters,  
the  rest  of  it  just  comes  down  to  not  trying  to  do  too  much,  trying  to  see  
what  she  has  to  offer,  trying  to  see  what  she  can  contribute  and  showing  
her  that  you  want  to  keep  talking  to  her  more,  as  long  as  you  like  doing  it.  
 
I  just  heard  an  audience  member  ask  a  great  question.  He  said:  “earlier  we  
were  talking  about  how  when  you  approach  you  don't  want  to  come  right  
at  them.    You  want  to  come  kind  of  at  an  angle.    How  do  you  give  them  all  
the  focus  while  you're  still  coming  at  an  angle?  Especially  if  you’re  
approaching  them  in  a  public  place  like  a  subway.”  
 
It’s  the  exact  same  thing,  even  more  so.    Eye  contact  on  a  bus  that's  an  
interesting  thing.    On  a  train,  I  feel  that  people  tend  to  be  more  closed  up.    I  
feel  bad  for  girls  on  a  train  actually  because  I'll  see  a  girl.    A  girl  will  catch  
my  eye  and  I'll  check  her  out,  but  then  I'll  notice  and  I'll  notice  six  other  
dudes  just  staring  with  these  death  looks  on  their  face.    
 
I  can  appreciate  how  girls  would  be  a  little  less  comfortable  with  train  ride  
things,  but  the  same  time  it's  just  all  about  feeding  them  know  differently  
like  you  treat  anybody  else.      
 

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM NICK ON IMPRESSION

Next  time  you're  on  a  train  and  somebody's  playing  a  game  that  you  like  or  
has  a  phone  that  you  like,  reading  a  book  that  you're  interested  in  and  I  
don't  care  what  they  look  like,  hopefully,  it's  actually  somebody  that  
doesn't  intimidate  you,  a  guy,  an  older  woman,  whatever,  say  something  to  
them  and  you'll  see  talking  to  someone  on  a  train  isn't  that  weird.    It's  
actual  a  nice  way  to  spend  your  time.    I've  had  tons  of  wonderful  
interactions  with  people  on  trains.    It's  better  than  just  sitting  there  playing  
"Candy  Crush."      
 
Get  used  to  doing  this  with  everyone  you  see.    It's  not  a  big  deal.    It's  
actually  a  very  pleasant  and  enjoyable  way  to  spend  your  commute  and  in  
that  way,  once  again  when  it's  a  pretty  girl,  just  treat  her  exactly  the  same  
as  you  would  treat  everyone  else,  instead  of  trying  to  think  of  some  weird  
thing  to  do  with  her.      
 
This  isn't  approaching  girls,  isn't  some  weird  thing  that  we  should  be  
ashamed  of  that  we're  doing  some  …  No,  it's  just  basic  socializing.    It's  no  
different  than  retreat  any  other  human  being  and  we  shouldn't  be  ashamed  
or  anything  else.    It's  normal.    It's  actually  more  abnormal  for  us  to  live  in  
our  isolated  bubbles  and  not  interact  with  each  other.    Whoever's  first?  
 
We  just  got  another  great  question  about  how  long  you  should  hold  eye  
contact  I  hear  this  one  a  lot.    My  answer  to  this  one  is  always  the  same.    
There  is  a  line  out  there.    I'll  use  this  way,  since  you're  going  right  to  left.      

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM NICK ON IMPRESSION

There  is  a  line  out  there  where  it's  just  too  much,  but  the  thing  is  that  if  
you're  here  right  now,  you're  so  far  behind  that  line,  no  offense  or  
anything,  you're  so  far  behind  that  line  that  you  could  try  to  overdo  it  and  
you  could  try  to  make  too  much  eye  contact,  you  wouldn't  even  come  
close.    That's  why  I  always  say  to  guys  ask  that  question,  "Don't  worry  about  
this."    If  you're  concerned  about  for  this  it's  just  going  to  hold  you  back  
from  getting  anywhere  close  to  it  in  the  first  place.      
 
I  challenge  guys  I  work  with  on  the  very  first  night,  "Try  to  get  shot  down  by  
making  too  much  eye  contact."    I  have  yet  to  meet  a  guy  who  could  do  that.      
I  could  probably  do  it,  but  I  have  yet  to  meet  another  guy  who  could.    Yeah,  
don't  even  worry  about  this  out  here.    Try  to  overdo  it  as  much  as  possible  
and  you  probably  won't  even  come  close  and  you're  going  to  get  ten  times  
more  powerful  responses  from  the  people  that  you're  interacting  with  
along  the  way,  promise.

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

CHAPTER 15: WHAT TO SAY

So  we  just  heard  yet  another  amazing  speech  from  Nick  Sparks  about  how  
to  approach  women.  Yet  I  know  that  one  question  remains  and  that  is,  
what  do  I  say?  And  that  is  always  the  perennial  question.  I  hope  that  you're  
starting  to  get  this  sense,  as  you've  been  sitting  here  this  weekend  and  
perhaps  as  you've  been  watching  this  program  at  home,  that  what  you  say  
is  not  always  something  you  plan  out.    

It's  not  always  something  you  perfect.  It's  not  always  something  that  you  
script.  In  fact,  I'm  so  glad  you  asked  what  you  did  early  because  what  I  find  
is  that,  in  many  of  my  conversations,  if  I'm  able  to  do  a  few  of  the  things  I'm  
going  to  show  you  in  this  segment,  the  girl  works  to  build  rapport  with  me.  
What  do  I  say  becomes  dialog  and  not  a  monologue  of  me  just  pushing  to  
keep  the  conversation  going.    

This  is  something  that  over  time,  with  practice  and  as  your  confidence  
elevates  you'll  become  better  and  better  at.  That's  something  that  I  can  
promise  you.  It's  something  that  we  work  on  when  we  do  coaching  and  
men  are  so  amazed  at  the  simplicity  of  not  having  to  know  what  to  say  and  
just  approaching  women  and  the  responses  they  get  when  they  start  doing  
what  we  teach,  what  Nick  teaches  for  example.    

I  can  promise  you  guys  that  if  you  were  to  go  out  and  just  put  into  place  
what  Nick  showed  you  just  now  and  accept  the  fact  that  you're  going  to  fail  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

and  fuck  up  once  or  twice  as  you  try  to  work  through  the  mechanics  of  it  all  
of  a  sudden  it  will  just  solve  itself.  You  just  mess  up  a  few  times  but  you  
keep  working  on  the  very  foundational  stuff  and  just  kind  of  run  your  
mouth  you'll  screw  up  a  few  times  but  if  you  just  do  that  stuff  you  will  be  
successful.  With  that  said,  there  are  always  inevitable  questions.    

I  remember  when  I  was  sitting  in  the  same  place  that  you  guys  are  sitting  
right  now  and  I  sucked  at  talking  to  women,  not  to  say  that's  where  you  
guys  are,  but  I  remember  when  I  was  challenged  to  talk  to  women,  I  didn't  
know  exactly  what  to  say.  I  want  to  give  you  a  little  bit  of  stuff  to  get  you  
going.  Before  we  do  that  though  I  want  to  talk  about  how  do  we  actually  
get  attraction  before  we  approach  the  girl?    

This  is  a  big  thing.  I'd  say  that  a  lot  of  my,  if  you  want  to  call  it,  game  if  I  
were  out  at  a  night  club  or  a  bar  is  going  to  be  based  on  trying  to  get  as  
much  attraction  as  I  can  before  I  even  approach  her  or  before  she  looks  at  
me.  That's  the  big  goal  here,  is  get  attraction  before  the  approach.    

There's  a  few  things  we  can  do.  The  first  one  is  a  term  that  Nick  came  up  
with  which  is  called  'bro  circling'.  Evan  do  you  mind  if  I  borrow  you  again  for  
just  a  moment?  So  bro  circling,  if  you  think  about  most  guys  who  stand  in  a  
bar,  what  do  they  look  like?  ...  Hey,  so  yeah.  Um  how's  your  night  goin?  

Evan:   Eh.  

Christian:    Yeah  I  know  me  too.  Yeah  I  wish  some  girls  would  talk  to  us.  

Evan:   There's  a  cute  girl  over  there.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

Christian:    Uh  oh.  Who?  Her?  

Evan:   Yeah.  

Christian:    Yeah.  I  think  she  noticed  I  was  looking  at  her  shirt  ...  

OK,  so  that's  most  guys  in  a  bar  right?  Bro  circling  is  the  opposite  of  that.  
Normally  you'd  have  it  with  a  bunch  of  bros.  But,  bro  circling  is,  we're  in  our  
own  world  and  we're  having  fun  and  we're  just  laughing  about  shit  and  
doing  all  the  stuff  that  we  need  to  do.  We're  being  expressive,  we're  
enjoying  our  conversation.  So  we  do  that.  So  last  time  I  talked  to  you  said  
you  were  going  to  India  was  it?  

Evan:   Sri  Lanka.  

Christian:    Sri  Lanka.  

Evan:   Yeah  dude.  Have  you  ever  been  there?  

Christian:    I've  never  been.  I've  been  to  Asia.  I  almost  rode  an  elephant.  I  
got  peed  on  by  a  monkey.  Did  I  tell  you  about  getting  peed  on  by  a  money?  

Evan:   No!  What  the  hell?  How  did  that  happen?  

Christian:    Well  it  sat  on  my  shoulder  and  started  urinating  on  me.  Have  you  
ever  been  urinated  on  before?  

Evan:   Well  yeah  but  that's  a  totally  different  story.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

Christian:    OK.  So,  this  right  here  is  what  you  do  when  you  go  into  a  bar  
with  your  buddies.  This  is  bro  circling.  It's  a  very  ...  and  that's  it  thank  you  
very  much  ...  

Evan:   Yeah.  

Christian:    it's  just  putting  a  term  to  a  very  simple  phenomena  which  is  
having  fun  with  your  buddies  when  you're  out.  Talking  shit,  getting  into  
little  competitions  like:  you  know  I  think  the  Yankees  are  going  to  with  this  
year,  or  I  think  the  Red  Socks  are  going  to  win  this  year.  Not  really  paying  
attention  to  what  is  going  on  in  the  rest  of  the  room.  Maybe  every  now  and  
then  you  notice  a  girl  walk  by  and  you're  like,  aw  yeah.    

But  you're  really  in  your  own  world.  If  you  do  this  at  the  same  time  that  you  
are  near  a  high  traffic  area.  At  a  cocktail  party  maybe  it's  the  kitchen.  At  a  
bar  maybe  it's  the  bar.  Women  will  just  magically  appear.  They  will  just  
show  up  and  you're  like,  "Oh  girls  are  around!"  You  know  why?  Because  
you're  creating  value  in  the  room.    

People  are  out  to  have  fun,  they're  out  to  enjoy  themselves  and  they  see  
these  people  enjoying  themselves  and  they  want  to  be  near  by  it.  Now,  it  
might  not  be  the  woman  who  you  want  to  approach.    

It  might  not  be  that  one  girl  off  in  the  corner  who  you've  got  your  eye  on.  
But,  when  you  start  to  do  this  you  create  value  in  the  room  and  people  are  
going  to  notice  and,  you're  going  to  have  some  attractive  girls  around  you.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

Then  you  want  to  do,  what  I  call,  'going  for  the  layups'.  We  all  know  what  a  
layup  is  in  basketball,  you're  going  to  go  up  for  the  easy  shots.  You're  going  
to  see  some  girls  around  you,  you're  going  to  be  talking  to  your  buddy  and  
you're  going  to  be  like,  "Hey  have  you  been  peed  on  before?"    

That  would  not  be  a  good  conversation  starter  ...  maybe  it  would  if  you're  
like  in  a  really  crazy  place  and  the  girl  ...  but  you're  just  going  to  grab  a  girl  
who  is  near  by  you  and  bring  her  into  the  conversation  somehow.  You  can  
bring  her  in  directly,  you  can  be  like,  "Hey  come  here,  come  here  we  need  a  
girl  to  talk  to  about  this."  Or,  just  in  passing  you  could  be  like,  "Hey  quick  
question  for  you."    

A  good  example  of  this  is,  one  time  my  buddies  and  I  were  talking  about  
Friends,  that  TV  show  Friends.  I  was  like,  "Hey  guys  real  quickly  what's  the  
name  of  Jennifer  Aniston's  character  on  Friends?"  And  everybody  jumps  
and  is  like,  "It's  Rachel!"  And  I'm  like,  "Cool  thanks."    

Back  to  my  conversation.  So  I'm  just  having  fun  and  maybe  a  moment  later  
I  might  reopen  the  conversation.  But,  I'm  going  to  go  up  for  the  layups.  
Another  layup  is  just  the  girls  who  look  open.  Nick  talked  about  the  girls  
who  are  giving  you  attention  and  eye  contact.  Just  look  for  the  girls  who  are  
standing  there  the  same  way  that  Evan  and  I  were  when  we  were  like  being  
the  weird  dudes.    

There  are  just  certain  girls  who  just  go  to  the  bar  and  they're  very  open  and  
you're  just  going  to  look  for  those  girls  and  go  talk  to  them.  Another  one  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

that's  great;  so,  you're  going  to  bro  circle  up  you're  going  to  get  some  girls  
talking  to  you.    

Next  thing  you  might  do,  and  this  is  definitely  part  of  my  social  program,  is  
go  find  the  hottest  girl  in  the  room  and  talk  to  her.  This  is  a  line  I  came  up  
with  years  ago,  it  was  rooted  in  reality,  I  was  jean  shopping  with  my  friend  
Brie  that  day  and  I  realized  how  difficult  it  is  to  buy  jeans  for  themselves  
and  make  their  butts  look  nice  ...  Maybe?  Yes?  Is  this  a  phenomena?    

So,  apparently  this  is  a  phenomena  and  after  trying  on  twenty  pairs  of  jeans  
she  was  dissatisfied  with  all  of  them.  So  what  I  found  to  be  an  effective  
conversation  starter  was,  I  would  walk  up  to  a  very  attractive  girl  and  I'd  be  
like,  "Hey  listen,  the  dress  you're  wearing  or  the  jeans  you're  wearing  or  
what  have  you,  I  have  a  friend  who  has  a  very  similar  physique  to  yours  and  
this  outfit  just  looks  amazing  on  you.    

I  was  just  shopping  with  her  earlier  today  and  she  was  looking  for  jeans.  Do  
you  mind  if  I  ask  you  what  brand  that  is?  Or  do  you  mind  if  I  ask  you  what  
dress  that  is?"  You  just  get  that  initial  conversation  going  with  the  really  
attractive  girl.  You're  not  hitting  on  her.  Your  body  language  is  doing  
everything  that  I  told  you.  Your  focus  is  on  her  but  you  don't  even  have  a  
flirtatious  vibe  at  that  point.    

If  she  hasn't  been  giving  you  anything,  if  this  is  the  first  time  that  you've  
entered  her  awareness,  then  you're  not  trying  to  pierce  it  and  make  it  
super  flirtatious.  All  you're  doing  is  just  building  a  little  bit  of  rapport  with  
her  and  that's  it.  So  when  you  get  the  hot  girl  talking  to  you,  every  other  girl  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

in  the  room  is  going  to  be  like,  "Whoa,  that  girl  is  talking  to  this  guy.  He  
must  have  some  value."    

That's  the  real  magic  of  this.  You're  not  talking  to  the  hot  girl  to  hit  on  her,  
you're  talking  to  the  hot  girl  to  get  every  other  girl  in  the  room  to  pay  
attention  to  you.  And  that  is  what  is  going  to  happen.  Then,  you  can  take  
your  pick  from  there.  Move  around  and  you'll  find  girls  come  up  to  you,  
approach  you  and  maybe  you  just  get  some  eye  contact  from  one  and  you  
keep  doing  all  the  stuff  that  we've  been  talking  about.  

Another  real  easy  thing  to  do  to  get  attraction  before  the  approach  is  talk  
to  the  couple  or  the  guy.  I  hear  that  one  of  the  men  in  our  midst  was  doing  
that  a  fair  amount  last  night.  Now,  when  I  talk  about  doing  that,  I  mean  in  a  
very  platonic  way.  What  I'll  often  do  is  I'll  find  a  very  friendly  open  couple  
and  maybe  they're  standing  at  a  bar,  maybe  they're  at  a  table  and  I'll  just  
position  myself  nearby  them  and  wait  to  hear  what  they  are  talking  about.    

Great  example  I  always  tell  is,  I'm  at  a  bar  one  time  and  I  hear  these  people  
talking  about  Brave  Heart  and  I  just  jump  into  the  conversation.  I  was  like,  
"That  was  one  of  my  favorite  movies  ever.  Mel  Gibson's  character  in  that  is  
like  such  a  representation  of  what  a  man  should  be."  It  was  just  a  fun,  
friendly  group.  I  think  there  were  like  three  or  four  of  them.  They  just  
jumped  in,  picked  up  and  we  kept  vibing.    

So  if  you  go  into  a  bar  and  you  find  just  find  people  who  look  open  and  look  
like  they're  having  a  lot  of  fun  and  have  good  conversations.  You  want  to  be  
careful  not  to  find,  like  you  can  have  a  foursome  of  people  who  are  just  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

there  and  they're  in  their  own  world.  You  have  to  differentiate  the  people  
who  are  closed  off  and  the  people  who's  body  language  is  just  a  little  bit  
more  open  and  they're  laughing  a  lot.  So  make  friends  with  the  couple  or  
the  guy  or  what  have  you.  Then  we  said  pick  the  social  spot.    

Finally,  when  it  comes  to  actually  approaching  the  girl,  I  find  what's  hopeful  
is  either  being  the  first  guy  in  or  the  last.  Traditionally,  I'm  the  last  guy  in.  
I'm  not  going  to  lie,  I'm  not  great  about  approaching  women,  just  going  up  
and  starting  that  conversation.  I  do  it  if  it  presents  itself  as  an  opportunity  
but  I  don't  actively  like,  "Oh  that  girl,  I'm  going  to  go  talk  to  her."  It's  a  lot  
more  of  what  we  were  just  talking  about  now  and  just  seeing  what  comes  
of  the  night.    

Usually  what  will  happen  is  if  you're  doing  all  these  things,  you'll  get  eye  
contact  from  the  girl  you  want  or  you'll  find  yourself  in  a  conversation  with  
another  girl  who  you're  really  into.  Then  what  will  happen  is,  maybe  Nick  
will  go  and  approach  her.  That  often  happens.  It's  really  helpful  if  you've  
got  a  guy  who  is,  what  we  call,  an  asset.    

The  asset  is  the  one  who,  in  the  Bourne  Identity  they're  always  like,  "Call  in  
the  asset  to  go  murder  the  person."  In  our  world  the  asset  is  the  guy  who  
goes  in  and  does  the  approach.  It's  a  very  valuable  skill  to  have  if  you  can  
develop  it.  If  you  can't  or  that's  just  not  your  personality,  find  a  guy  who  is  
and  just  be  the  guy  who  comes  and  really  makes  him  look  good  and  closes.  
So  those  are  a  few  ideas  about  getting  attraction  before  the  approach.  A  
general  bar  strategy  that  you  might  use  when  going  out.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

What  are  you  going  to  talk  to  the  girl  about  though?  Where  does  the  
conversation  go?  Is  this  kind  of  on  everybody's  mind,  what  do  I  say  to  girls  
when  I  first  meet  them?  Yes?  Because  I  can  skip  it.  Yeah?  I  can  skip  it!  You  
guys  want  to  hear  this?  OK,  alright.  

Honestly,  the  start  of  the  conversation  is  usually  going  to  be  fluff  talk.  It's  
usually  going  to  be  a  really  simple  fluff,  like,  "Hey,  how's  it  going?  Where  
are  you  from?  How  do  you  know  the  host?  What  brought  you  out  tonight?"  
If  you  are  so  inspired,  you  can  always  use  different  lines,  "Hey  I  saw  you  
from  across  the  bar  and  I  just  had  to  come  talk  to  you.    

I  find  you  very  attractive."  I'm  trying  to  think  of  some  other  opening  
conversation  lines  that  I've  used.  Often  times  it  will  be  situational,  so  like  
last  time  I  was  out  and  actually  talking  to  girls  winter  was  becoming  spring  
so  I  noticed  a  girl  wearing  sandals  and  was  standing  next  to  her,  it  was  one  
of  these  bro  circle  situations,  I'm  out  with  my  buddies  and  we're  just  having  
fun.    

I  see  her  standing  next  to  me  and  I  say,  "Oh  my  god  you're  wearing  
sandals!"  And  she's  like,  "Yeah  I  know."  I  was  like,  "First  sandals  I've  see  all  
year.  You're  making  me  very  happy  right  now."  "Why  is  that?"  "Spring  is  
coming!  Winter  is  over.  And  you're  in  the  mood  already,  you're  in  the  
spirit."  And  she's  like,  "I  know."  And  we  just  start  vibing  about  that,  having  
fun  talking  about  it.  This  is  a  very  situational  approach.  So  there  is  that.  

We  already  talked  about  your  body  language,  tonality,  eye  contact  and  
getting  all  that  stuff  right.  The  next  thing  that  I'm  normally  going  to  do  once  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

we  get  past  that  fluff  talk  is  I'm  going  to  start  to  try  to  get  a  little  bit  
personal.  I'm  going  to  try  to  drop  in  some  kind  of  high  value  story  about  my  
life.    

This  is  my  own  programming,  everybody  has  their  own  thing.  My  thing  is  
normally,  to  try  to  drop  in  some  high  status  or  high  value  story  about  my  
life  and  do  it  in  a  way  that's  not  bragging  but  just  where  it  is  like,  I've  got  a  
fucking  cool  life.  My  goal  with  this  is  to  establish  in  her  mind,  I  want  her  to  
remember  me  as  the  guy  who  did  'x'.  So  there  is  a  couple  stories  that  I'll  
always  go  to  that  demonstrate  that  I'm  adventurous,  that  I  take  risks,  that  I  
really  value  certain  things  in  life.    

These  go  to  stories  are  thing  that  I'll  just  try  to  take  the  conversation  in  that  
direction.  Two  tuna  rolls  for  muah,  por  favor.  So  the  key  point  of  this  is,  if  
this  is  your  life,  if  you  really  do  have  high  value  things  to  talk  about  then  
that's  the  better  way  to  roll  ...  we've  already  talked  about  that.  Once  you  
vibe  on  some  high  value,  you  share  a  little  bit  about  yourself  but  it's  really  
all  about  getting  her  to  open  up  and  learning  more  about  her.  

The  next  thing  that  you  are  going  to  drive  towards  is  her  motivations.  What  
lead  her  to  do  what  she's  talking  about?  What  lead  her  to  be  this  way?  
We're  going  to  do  a  demonstration  where  this  should  become  pretty  
apparent.  But,  again  the  third  thing  is  I  want  to  drive  towards  the  who  of  
who  she  is.    

Why  does  she  do  what  she  does?  What  about  her?  This  way  we're  getting  
past  the  topic  we're  talking  about  which  could  be  travel  and  we're  getting  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

into  a  personal  situation  or  personal  understanding  of  each  other.  What  
lead  her  to  be  this  way?  

The  fourth  part  of  this  is,  what  I  call,  qualification.  This  is  where  I'm  
affirming  that  I  like  that  she  is  that  way  ...  "Wow  that's  amazing  that  you're  
so  spontaneous.  We  could  have  an  amazing  time  traveling  the  world  
together."  Something  like  that.  

Then  the  fifth  step,  if  you  want  just  accelerate  it  right  there,  is  asking  for  
her  number.  So  we're  going  to  demo  that  whole  process  right  now.  We  
haven't  really  practiced  this  yet,  so  I  may  completely  screw  it  up  but  I  think  
it  will  probably  go  just  fine.    

So  come  on  up.  Is  that  semi  clear  at  least?  Give  you  guys  a  little  bit  of  a  
structure  to  start  to  work  off  of.  So  here  we  are.  We're  just  going  to  start  
talking.  What  we're  going  to  start  talking  about  is  I  was  going  to  ask  how  
you  know  ...  yeah  we're  at  a  party,  we've  just  met  each  other.  I  saw  her  
across  the  way,  maybe  we're  in  the  kitchen.    

This  will  happen  sometimes,  you  just  see  somebody  and  you  start  talking  
and  you're  like,  "So  how  do  you  know  everybody  here?"  And  that's  what  
we're  going  to  start  rolling  with.  Alicia,  how  do  you  know  everybody  here?  

Alicia:    I  actually  don't  know  any  people  here.  I'm  friends  with  one  person  
and  they  invited  me.  

Christian:  OK.  Well  honestly,  I  don't  know  too  many  people  here  either  so  
we  can  be  conspiratorial  party  judgers.  As  we  look  around  the  room,  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

andyou  know  when  it's  your  friends  you  don't  always  want  to  be  like,  "Aw  
that  person  is  a  piece  of  shit."  But  we  don't  know  any  of  these  people...  

Alicia:    So  we  can  just  judge  away.  

Christian:    We  can  completely  judge  away.  Do  you  get  invited  to  things  
randomly  like  this  a  lot?  

Alicia:    I  kind  of  do.  I  feel  like  my  friends  know  I'm  like  a  yes  man.  I  always  
love  being  spontaneous.  

Christian:    Interesting.  Because  normally  you  hear  yes  men,  people  don't  
think  that's  a  good  thing.  You  are  a  woman  right?  I  mean  I  haven't  checked  
completely  yet  ...  

Alicia:    Yes.  

Christian:    Good  to  know.  Just  wanted  to  get  that  out  of  the  way.  So  
anyways,  normally  people  think  that's  like  a  bad  thing,  but  yet  you're  here.  

Alicia:    Being  spontaneous?  

Christian:    No  being  a  yes  person.  

Alicia:    No.  It's  awesome.  

Christian:    So  mean  this  in  the  spontaneous  way,  you  don't  mean  this  in  like  
you  just  always  telling  your  boss  yes,  yes,  yes,  yes.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

Alicia:    I  mean  maybe  a  little  of  both,  but  more  like  spontaneous.  I  love  it  
for  the  aspect  of  having  stories  and  life  experiences.  

Christian:    Actually  I  love  that.  I  love  that  you  said  that  because  sometimes  I  
go  out  and  like  I've  live  some  really  crazy,  spontaneous  adventures.  Every  
now  and  then  I'll  meet  somebody  and  be  talking  about  one  of  these  things  
and  they'll  be  like  ...  and  I  just  kind  of  look  in  their  eyes  and  they're  like,  
"Ummm  you  know  that  seems  like  a  little  too  much."  You  just  see  that  look.  
Do  you  ever  get  that  from  people,  where  they're  just  like,  "Whoa.  What  
you're  talking  about  I  just  can't  relate  to  at  all."  

Alicia:    They  can't  fathom  it  yeah.  

Christian:    It  kind  of  sounds  like  we  understand  each  other.  What's  
something  spontaneous  you've  done?  

Alicia:    Oh  gosh.  

Christian:    Besides  coming  here  tonight.  

Alicia:    The  stranger  party?  

Christian:    Exactly.  

Alicia:    I  got  invited  to  go  to  India  with  a  two  week  notice.  

Christian:    OK,  that's  not  spontaneous.  Did  you  go?  

Alicia:    Yeah.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

Christian:    That's  spontaneous!  Gotcha.  Well  two  weeks  notice,  that  gives  
you  enough  time  to  what,  book  your  ticket  and  ...  

Alicia:    Get  a  visa.  

Christian:    Oh  was  that  hard?  

Alicia:    Apparently  not  at  all.  

Christian:  Well  you  look  friendly,  like  you  just  show  up  and  like,  "Hey  let  me  
in."  Yeah.  Did  you  ride  any  elephants  when  you  were  there?  

Alicia:    I  did.  I  rode  an  elephant  and  a  camel.  

Christian:    I  feel  like  that's  kind  of  the  cliché  thing  to  do.  

Alicia:    They're  like  cars,  they  like  go  with  traffic  with  the  cars.  

Christian:    Interesting.  Wouldn't  you  be  sitting  up  above  the  cars?  

Alicia:    Oh  yeah.  

Christian:    Did  you  have  the  urge  to  like  stomp  on  any  cars  when  they're  like  
down  below  you?  

Alicia:    No.  

Christian:    I  would  totally  want  to  do  that.  I  would  totally  want  to  stomp  on  
the  cars  with  the  elephant  and  be  like,  "Yo  that  guy,  he  just  cut  us  off."  

Alicia:    Like,  "You're  mine."  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

Christian:    Exactly.  Not  to  be  too  vindictive  but  like  that's  every  boy's  little  
fantasy  is  to  ride  around  in  an  elephant  and  stomp  on  cars.  Did  you  know  
this?  

Alicia:    No.  I  had  no  idea.  

Christian:    Secret  of  male  physiology  that  I've  just  shared  with  you  right  
now.  If  you  ever  meet  a  man  and  you  really  want  to  win  his  heart  a  great  
date  to  take  him  on  would  be  on  top  of  an  elephant.  Just  kidding,  I  have  no  
idea  what  I'm  talking  about.    

I  did  hang  out  with  some  monkeys  one  time.  I  was  in  Bali  and  we  went  to  
this  monkey  forest  and  we  had  the  monkeys  climbing  all  over  us  and  they  
were  opening  bags  and  trying  to  get  to  gum.  And  I  actually  might  have  
gotten  peed  on  by  one  of  the  monkeys.  

Alicia:    Might  have  gotten  peed  on?  

Christian:    Yeah.  I  mean  I  don't  know  you  that  well.  I  don't  want  to  tell  you  
that  it  definitely  happened  'cause  that  could  be  kind  of  weird  if  you  ...  I'm  
not  a  guy  that  normally  likes  to  get  peed  on.  

Alicia:    This  is  good  ...  

Christian:    Exactly.  But  it  was  awesome,  the  whole  trip,  Asia  is  just  so  
foreign  and  so  different  and  there's  always  this  mystery  about  it  to  me.  
When  I  would  go  out  to  Asia  it  felt  like  there  was  some  puzzle  to  be  
unlocked  when  I  was  out  there.    

 
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Then  I  realized  it's  actually  just  a  lot  of  poverty  and  a  lot  of  people  
struggling  and  a  lot  of  people  hawking  cigarettes.  Were  you  anywhere  else  
besides  India?  

Alicia:    A  while  ago  in  college  I  went  to  Greece  for  a  study  abroad.  It  was  
awesome  but  I  was  in  college  so  it  was  like  ...  

Christian:    It  was  one  of  those?  

Alicia:    Yeah.  

Christian:    OK  that's  cool.  I'm  getting  this  sense  that  you're  very,  very  
spontaneous  and  very  outgoing.  

Alicia:    I  feel  you  have  to  be.  I  have  stories  to  tell  and  it's  exciting  and  it's  
fun  and  even  if  it's  bad  you  can  make  it  into  something  good.  You  know?  

Christian:    That's  such  a  positive  attitude  that  you  have.  You  should  at  least  
start  a  blog  or  start  tweeting  the  positively  tweets  everyday.  

Alicia:    Tweeting  is  foreign,  it's  a  foreign  concept  to  me.  

Christian:    I  mean,  fine.  I  actually  don't  have  a  twitter  account  either.  

Alicia:    I  should.  

Christian:    Are  we  past  the  age  where  its  like  crap  to  have  a  twitter  
account?  I  think  the  Iranian  president  just  got  a  twitter  account  or  
something.  So  maybe  it's  like  ...  

 
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Alicia:    My  mom  has  one.  

Christian:    Maybe  it's  time  for  us  to  get  twitter  accounts.  I  just  feel  so  weird  
being  like  I  just  tweeted  this.  

Alicia:    Right.  

Christian:    It's  just  a  bit  of  a  strange  thing.  

Alicia:    I  have  Facebook.  Can't  I  just  Facebook  it?  

Christian:    I  don't  know.  Do  you  get  on  Facebook  much?  

Alicia:    Yeah  I  do,  here  and  there  when  I  do  something  exciting  and  I  know  
my  mom  wants  to  know  about  it  and  maybe  I  don't  have  time  to  call  her  all  
the  time,  I'll  post  it  and  she  gets  really  excited.  

Christian:    Do  you  remember  the  moment  your  mom  joined  Facebook?  

Alicia:    I  do.  

Christian:    It's  kind  of  a  big  moment  because  you're  like,  "Oh  my  gosh  my  
private  life  is  being  exposed  to  my  mother."  

Alicia:    And  she  doesn't  quite  get  it  yet.  So  everything  is  in  all  caps  and  she  
doesn't  understand  it.  

Christian:    Did  you  have  the  all  cap  mom?  

Alicia:    I  did.  It's  like  she's  yelling  at  me  all  the  time.  

 
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Christian:    That's  amazing.  Alright  lets  pause  right  here.  We're  trying  to  
work  through  that.  Some  of  it  worked  exactly  as  I  wanted,  some  of  it  didn't.  
I  normally  wouldn't  dwell  on  monkeys  peeing  on  myself  but  apparently  
we've  been  talking  about  that  today  so  it  just  stuck  in  my  mind.  I  hope  I  
didn't  recover  too  poorly  from  that  one.    

What  I  did  try  to  do  is  throw  in  a  little  bit  of  a  story  about  my  own  like,  just  
a  little  bit  of  stuff  that  I  could  relate  to  to  keep  you  talking.  Any  thoughts  
from  your  end?  Honestly,  thoughts  on  how  that  went  ...  what  worked?  
What  didn't?  

Alicia:    No,  its  good.  I  get  what  you're  saying  because  it  made  me  feel  good  
about  the  experiences  I've  had  and  I  was  excited  to  tell  you  about  them  and  
talk  about  it.  

Christian:    Cool.  The  eye  contact  was  OK?  The  body  language  was  not  too  
bad?  

So  that  would  be  like  a  normal  conversation  I  would  have  at  a  cocktail  
party.  Then  I  thin  we  would  normally,  if  I  was  getting  along  with  you,  I'd  be  
like,  "Hey  you  know  what?  Why  don't  we,  I  need  a  drink  right  now,  lets  go  
grab  a  drink  somewhere."  It's  really  going  to  be  that  simple.  At  a  bar  where  
there  is  alcohol  it's  going  to  be  a  little  bit  more  charged  but  it's  going  to  be  
a  lot  of  the  same  stuff.  You're  welcome  to  have  a  seat  at  this  point.  Thank  
you  very  much  for  that.  

 
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An  audience  member  mentioned  that  the  pause  in  the  conversation  could  
be  kind  of  awkward,  and  was  wondering  if  there  was  a  way  you  could  do  
something  akin  to  a  “half  pause.”  

I  mean,  that  could  work.  Be  like,  "Hey  listen,  I'm  going  to  go  grab  some  
buddies  or  I  really  got  to  use  the  restroom.  I'll  catch  up  to  you  in  a  little  bit."  
Honestly  another  thing  you  could  say  is  like,  "Hey  listen,  I  really  liked  talking  
to  you.  I'll  catch  you  up  in  a  little  bit."  I've  done  that  before  plenty  of  times.  
I'm  just  going  to  go  off  and  find  someone  else  to  talk  to,  go  reconnect  with  
your  buddies.    

If  it's  not  totally  connecting  in  that  first  moment,  and  this  is  something  else  
to  keep  in  mind,  there's  been  times  when  I've  had  conversations  like  that  
which  were  good  but  not  amazing.  We  got  along  very  well,  but  sparks  
weren't  flying  right  away.  But  maybe  the  party  goes  on,  there's  another  
drink  that's  had  and  maybe  we  connect  and  we're  like,  "Oh  hey,  how's  it  
going  again?"    

Maybe  we  find  ourselves  talking  to  each  other  again  and  after  two  or  three  
or  four  subsequent  conversations  it  really  starts  to  click.  If  you're  first  
conversation  is  good  but  not  amazing,  don't  feel  bad  about  it,  don't  write  it  
off.  Because  plenty  of  times  I've  had  conversations  just  like  that  and  maybe  
ten  years  ago  I  would  have  had  that  conversation  and  been  like,  "Aw  shit.  I  
totally  messed  that  up.    

I  talked  about  how  I  don't  like  being  peed  on  and  I  didn't  really  share  that  
much  about  myself.  And  she  just  gave  me  this  look  when  I  was  saying  this  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM WHAT TO SAY

one  thing.  Like  it  totally  ruined  it."  Now  if  I  had  a  conversation  like  that,  I'd  
be  like,  "Alright,  it  felt  good.  I'm  still  going  to  keep  talking  to  her."  I  would  
just  not  get  too  hung  up  on  that.  I  hope  that  gives  you  an  answer.  Thanks.  

Something  else  to  keep  in  mind,  there  were  a  few  points  where  I  said  stupid  
stuff.  I  say  stupid  stuff  a  lot,  no  matter  what  my  position  in  the  world  might  
be  as  a  coach  who  teaches  guys  how  to  talk  to  girls.  I  say  stupid  stuff  pretty  
frequently  because  I  just  say  a  lot  of  stuff.  When  you  say  a  lot  of  stuff,  
inevitably  you  will  say  stupid  stuff.    

The  goal  is  to  not  get  too  hung  up  by  it.  Recover  from  it  and  just  move  on.  I  
was  talking  about  that  and  then  I  immediately  went  back  to  like  Asia  and  
blah,  blah,  blah  ...  and  went  on.  That  was  just  not  getting  hung  up  by  that.  
I'm  actually  really  glad  the  conversation  went  that  way  and  not  like  so  like  
sparks  perfectly  because  I  feel  like  that’s  the  conversation  that  more  guys  
have  than  like  the  smooth,  amazing  like  this  is  the  best  conversation  I've  
ever  had  in  the  world.  Other  questions  about  that  one?  OK,  cool.  

So,  there  are  five  things  in  the  initial  conversation  that  you  can  work  in.  I  
didn't  work  in  that  high  value  story,  I  kind  of  dropped  it  for  a  second.  But  if  
we'd  continued  talking,  I  didn't  want  to  take  up  all  of  our  time  today  by  
talking,  I  would  have  definitely  driven  towards  more  about  myself,  gotten  
more  to  open  up  and  share  certain  things  about  me  that  I  just  wanted  her  
to  have  in  my  mind.    

 
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I  probably  would  have  really  stuck  with  the  Asia  thing,  about  my  travels  to  
Asia  and  how  much  Asia  means  to  me.  The  one  other  thing  that  I'm  curious  
about,  did  you  like  the  story  about  the  elephants  and  smashing  cars?  

Like  Alex  was  saying  yesterday,  just  being  genuine  and  allowing  myself  to  
say  stupid  things.  One  other  thing  along  those  lines  is,  I  notice  that  I  did  this  
...  I'm  noticing  this  retroactively.  I  kind  of  gave  you  advice.  I  was  like,  "If  you  
ever  want  to  take  a  guy  on  a  date  and  really  impress  him  you  can  put  him  
on  an  elephant  ..."  You  responded  pretty  favorably  to  that  but  in  that  
moment  that  was  like  definitely  a  status  move.    

I  was  like,  "I'm  giving  you  some  advice.  I'm  telling  you  something  to  do."  I  
was  also  almost  disqualifying  myself  as  somebody  who  she'd  be  dating.  I  
was  like,  "If  you  ever  want  to  take  out  a  guy  on  a  date  and  impress  him."  So  
that's  definitely  something  I  didn't  plan  to  do  in  that  conversation.  I  
suppose  it  came  out  unconsciously.  

 
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CHAPTER 16: RESETTING IMPRESSION

Right  now  I  want  to  talk  about  how  to  reset  a  girl's  impression  of  you.  You  
haven't  made  a  good  impression  on  her  or  whatever  the  case.  Maybe  
you've  been  put  in  the  friend  zone,  maybe  it's  been  for  a  day  or  maybe  for  a  
week  or  for  a  month  or  a  year.  Whatever  the  case,  of  the  dynamic  is,  she  
does  not  think  of  you  sexually.  That's  what  happens  when  you're  in  the  
friend  zone.  She  likes  you,  but  she  does  not  think  of  you  sexually.    

The  objective,  if  you  want  to  turn  that  around,  is  to  introduce  sexuality  to  
the  dynamic  of  the  relationship  and  what  we  would  call,  flip  the  frame.  The  
frame  up  to  that  point  is  you're  the  one  who  wants  her,  and  she  doesn't  see  
you  sexually.  You  want  to  flip  it  around  so  that  she  is  like,  "Wait,  does  he  
not  want  me?  Maybe  ..  Wait,  but  there  is  sexuality  ...  uh,  oh  wait,  maybe  
he's  a  sexual  guy,  and  I  need  to  prove  myself  to  him."  

That's  kind  of  what  we  want  to  do  here.  Up  to  this  point,  you've  been  trying  
to  get  sex  from  her.  Now  we  want  to  try  to  have  her  thinking  about  sex  
with  you.  There's  a  4  to  5  step  process.  It  starts  with  getting  your  shit  
together.  We've  talked  about  exercise,  good  diet,  and  being  social.  If  you  
are  currently  in  the  friend  zone  with  a  girl,  then  I  would  just  say  take  this  
opportunity  to  get  your  shit  together.    

Get  your  diet  together.  Start  exercising  more  and  start  going  out  and  being  
social.  That's  going  to  give  you  some  momentum,  and  it's  going  to  give  you  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM RESETTING IMPRESSION

a  different  more  positive,  more  attractive  energy  that  she's  going  to  notice  
and  respond  to.    

What  I'm  also  going  to  tell  you,  if  you're  in  the  friend  zone,  is  the  first  step  
to  being  successful  with  getting  a  girl  back  is  to  give  up  on  getting  her  back.  
In  1  way  you’ve  already  lost  her.  She  doesn't  think  of  you  as  a  perspective  
sexual  partner.  Now,  you've  got  to  get  to  the  point  where  you  are  willing  to  
take  some  risks  in  order  to  flip  that  around  or  perhaps  lose  her  as  a  friend.  
The  decisions  you  make  around  this  are  really  going  to  be  up  to  you.  
They're  going  to  be  in  your  heart  how  much  you  value  her  as  a  friend,  how  
much  you  want  her  as  something  more.    

I  find  that  I've  been  friends  with  girls  who  have  had  these  guys  who  really  
want  to  hook  up  with  them  and  who  just  keep  them  around.  I  feel  that  it's  
mutually  disrespectful.  I  feel  it's  disrespectful  to  the  girl  to  keep  around  a  
guy  who  just  makes  her  feel  good  and  affirms  her  value.  I  feel  it's  
disrespectful  for  the  guy  to  not  be  honest  with  the  girl  about  what  he  really  
wants  and  to  stay  in  that  situation  is  disrespectful  to  himself,  so  the  second  
thing  is  give  up.  Then  do  what  I'm  going  to  teach  you  guys.  Give  up  the  fact  
that  you've  lost  her  already.    

What  is  the  4  to  5  step  process  once  you've  given  up  and  once  you're  
getting  your  life  together.  The  first  thing  is  you  want  to  create  some  space.  
If  you  see  her  regularly,  if  you  see  her  all  the  time,  if  you  have  a  pattern  
established  of  how  often  you  see  her,  if  she's  used  to  calling  on  you  for  
things  like  picking  her  up  or  driving  her  home  or  helping  her  out  with  

 
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something  ...  I've  talked  to  these  guys  who  are  like,  "Yeah,  I  drive  her  home  
from  work  every  day,"  or  "I  do  this  or  that."  Create  some  space.    

You  don't  want  to  dramatically  change  the  dynamic  of  the  relationship.  
When  you  see  her,  you  still  want  to  be  the  same  guy.  You  just  want  to  start  
creating  some  space.  Don't  change  who  you  are  with  her.  Just  create  space.    

Then,  at  some  point,  you're  going  to  have  what  I  call  the  50  Shades  of  Grey  
conversation,  and  we're  going  to  demonstrate  this  conversation  very  
shortly,  but  this  is  a  great  conversation  that  starts  to  turn  the  frame  
around.    

The  next  thing  you'll  do  at  that  point  once  you've  had  this  conversation,  it's  
going  to  really  reset  the  frame.  Then,  in  all  the  subsequent  interactions  you  
have  with  the  girl,  you're  just  going  to  reinforce  that  frame  with  your  body  
language  and  with  little  jokes.  What  you  will  find  is  if  you  have  done  this  
right,  and  if  she's  responsive  to  it,  she  will  start  trying  to  sexually  qualify  
herself  to  you.  You  can  do  this,  if  a  girl  who  is  not  in  the  friend  zone,  too.  
You  can  just  be  playful.  You  do  it  at  a  bar.    

You're  going  to  do  some  things  like  you're  going  to  have  a  ...  When  you're  
around  her,  you're  going  to  check  out  other  girls,  and  you're  not  going  to  be  
ashamed  of  it.  You  can  do  all  the  stuff  that  Nick  was  talking  about  earlier  
like  looking  at  girls  when  they  walk  by,  giving  them  wry  smiles,  doing  the  
things  you  need  to  do  to  share  her  that  your  focus  is  not  100%  on  her.    

 
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You  can  tease  her  about  other  guys.  Look  at  ...  He'd  be  really  good  for  you.  
Pick  like  the  dorkiest  guy  you  can  find.  He'd  be  really  good  for  you.  Then  a  
lot  of  it  again,  in  terms  of  how  you  show  this  interest  is  just  body  language.  
Before  you're  probably  always  giving  her  all  your  body  language.  Now  it's  
like,  you're  on  your  mission.  You're  on  your  path.  You're  in  your  zone,  and  
she's  just  like  there.    

If  you've  done  this  all  right,  then  what  you  will  find  is  that  9  out  of  10  times  
although  I  haven't  done  this  10  times,  but  I'm  guessing  9  out  of  10  or  8  out  
of  10  times,  she  will  start  to  work  to  sexually  qualify  herself  to  you,  and  she  
will  work  within  the  frame  that  you've  now  established,  and  she  will  put  
some  effort  in  to  making  things  flirtations  with  you.  At  that  point,  it's  back  
to  everything  else  that  we  teach.  She  may  make  a  move  on  you.  That  has  
happened.  Sometimes  though,  you'll  need  to  make  the  move  on  her,  but  at  
least  you've  flipped  the  frame  around.    

If  none  of  that  works,  the  next  thing  you  can  do  is  you  can  buy  this  book  
called  sexstrology.  SEXTROLOGY.  This  book  is  all  about  what  your  
astronomical  sign.  It's  what  your  astrological  sign  says  about  you  in  a  sexual  
relationship,  what  kind  of  sexual  partner  you  are.  I'm  not  the  one  who  
discovered  this  book.  I  can't  remember  where  I  heard  about  it,  but  it  is  like  
crack  for  every  girl  I've  ever  talked  to  or  showed  it  to  in  my  life.    

I  don't  know  why,  but  a  lot  of  girls  seem  to  be  into  astrology,  and  it  
combines  the  naughtiness  of  sex  and  the  cold-­‐reading  allure  of  astrology.  
You  buy  this  book,  and  at  some  point  you  just  make  sure  that  it's  wherever  

 
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that  she's  going  to  be.  Maybe  you  give  her  a  ride  home  from  work.  It's  in  
your  car.  It's  not  just  sitting  there  on  the  passenger  seat.  Maybe  it's  one  of  
3  books  in  a  Barnes  &  Noble  bag,  but  her  eyes  will  land  on  that  one.    

That's  going  to  introduce  even  more  sexuality  to  the  conversation.  You  can  
talk  about  her.  She  can  talk  about  you.  This  can  all  be  combined  very  
quickly.  You  can  have  that  sextrology  conversation  the  exact  same  time  you  
have  the  50  shades  conversation,  and  we'll  demonstrate  the  50  shades  
conversation  in  a  little  bit.    

Finally,  if  none  of  that  works,  and  I've  never  done  this.  I'm  just  including  this  
because  my  buddy  Adam  Lyons  told  me  that  this  has  worked  quite  well  for  
him.  Does  anybody  know  Adam  Lyons  or  know  of  Adam  Lyons?  You  know  
Adam  Lyons.  Adam's  a  great  guy.  We  were  hanging  out  the  other  week,  and  
we  were  talking  about  our  various  techniques  to  get  a  girl  who's  friend  
zoned  you  to  get  you  out  of  the  friend  zone.    

He's  like,  "Oh,  mate.  All  right.  Technique  is  a  full  body  orgasm  technique."  
This  is  my  best  Adam  Lyons  impression.  It's  still  pretty  terrible.  It's  like,  
"What's  the  full  body  orgasm  technique?"  "All  right,  what  you  do  is  you  
create  the  space  from  the  girl."    

You  create  space  from  the  girl  for  a  while,  maybe  2  months,  and  then  you  
get  coffee  with  her,  and  when  you  see  her  you  tell  her  ...  She's  like,  "So  
what  have  you  been  up  to?"  You  ask  her.  She  asks  you.  You  say,  "And  life's  
just  been  crazy  lately.    

 
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You  know  a  few  months  ago  I  went  to  this  seminar  that  kind  of  changed  my  
life.  At  this  seminar  we  learned  how  to  give  women  full  body  orgasms,  so  
I've  been  doing  that.  And  I  go  out,  and  I  talk  to  people,  and  they  want  to  
experience  this  because  they've  never  experienced  something  like  that  
before,  so  I've  just  been  meeting  a  lot  of  women,  and  they  all  want  to  
experience  this  full  body  orgasm,  so  I've  been  doing  that  a  lot  lately,  and  uh  
..."    

She'll  be  like,  well,  how  does  it  work?  And  you'll  be  like,  "Well,  I  can't  show  
you,  obviously,  not  right  here."  It  kind  of  starts  and  you  just  lead  it  into  a  
sexual  conversation.  I'll  leave  you  to  seek  out  Adam  Lyons  if  it  gets  to  that  
point.    

I  don't  want  to  take  credit  for  what  he  did,  but  he  said  that  that  works  very  
well.  If  it  gets  to  that  point,  I'd  love  to  hear  about  it  if  that  works  for  you,  
but  I  thought  I'd  throw  it  in  there  because  he  was  so  excited  about  it.  He's  
like,  "Mate,  it  works  every  fucking  time.  Every  time.  All  right.  Maybe  not  
every  time,  but  most  of  the  time,  it  works.  Really  well."  That's  how  Adam  
talks,  so  ...    

Let's  talk  about  the  50  shades  conversation  because  this  is  something  that  I  
know  works.  This  will  work  over  text  messaging.  If  you're  texting  with  a  girl  
a  lot  you  can  ask  her  this.  It  works  in  real  conversations,  so  if  you  wouldn't  
mind  joining  me  once  again.  Imagine  that  I  have  friend-­‐zoned  myself  with  
Alicia.  By  the  way,  most  of  the  time  if  you're  put  in  the  friend  zone  it's  
because  you  did  not  initiate  touch  or  sexuality  soon  enough  in  the  

 
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relationship.  You  notice,  even  in  that  earlier  conversation,  I  was  still  
touching  Alicia  a  lot.    

If  I'm  in  the  friend  zone  right  now,  and  I'm  friends  with  Alicia  and  she  just  
sees  me  as  a  nice,  sweet  guy  who's  a  total  non-­‐threat.  We're  just  going  to  
roll  with  this.  Alicia,  I  got  to  tell  you,  I  just  feel  like  girls  are  so  weird.  Have  
you  heard  of  this  book  50  Shades  of  Grey?  

Alicia:  Oh,  yeah,  of  course.    

Christian:    Okay.  Interesting.  I  just  found  out  how  popular  this  is  with  
women.  It's  really  strange.  Have  you  read  the  book?  

Alicia:  Yeah.  Sure  have.  Yeah.  It's  like  break  up  therapy.    

Christian:    How?  What  do  you  mean  by  that?  Go  ahead.  What  were  you  
saying?  How's  it  break-­‐up  therapy?  

Alicia:    It  just  creates  the  perfect  dominant  male,  and  he  just  tell  her  what  
to  do.  He  just  shows  total  dominance,  but  he  still  totally  respects  her.  It's  
like  the  best  balance  of  both.    

Christian:    It's  about  sex,  right?  

Alicia:  It  is  about  sex.    

Christian:    Where's  the  dominance  and  stuff  play  into  that?  

Alicia:    He  gets  rough  with  her  which  is  something,  too,  that  most  women  
don't  always  get  to  do,  but  he  totally  takes  hold  of  the  situation  and-­‐  

 
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Christian:    I'm  sorry.  I'm  just  really  weirded  out  right  now.  

Alicia:    Why?  

Christian:    I  don't  know.  I  just  never  ...  It's  just  weird  for  me  to  hear  you  
talking  about  sex  and  dominance  because  I  just  never  think  of  you  I  that  
way.  You're  my  friend.  It's  just  weird  for  me  to  think  about  you  reading  
that.  What  I  understand  is  every  woman,  they  read  it,  and  it's  like  porn  for  
the  female  mind.    

Alicia:    Right.    

Christian:    That's  so  strange.  I'm  sorry.  I've  never  seen  you  that  way.  You're  
like  my  friend.  I  just  don't  really  ...  I  don't  know.    

Alicia:    Every  woman  has  that  side.  That's  what's  so  appealing.  

Christian:    I  guess.  I  never  really  thought  you  ...  I've  just  never  seen  you  that  
way.  Forgive  me  for  that.  I've  just  never  seen  you  like  that.  This  is  kind  of  
bad,  but  you  know  those  starfish.  They  reproduce  without  having  sex  ...  
That's  always  how  I've  ...  

Alicia:    What?  

Christian:    You're  like  a  star  fish  to  me.    

Alicia:  That's  horrible.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM RESETTING IMPRESSION

Christian:    You're  like  a  starfish  to  me.  It's  wonderful.  It's  so  sweet.  Now  I  
hear  this,  and  it  totally  ruins  my  ...  I  don't  know.  You've  always  been  my  
sweet  friend  and  you're  like  my  starfish.  Now  you're-­‐  

Alicia:    Oh,  good.  Just  like  a  starfish.  

Christian:    Okay.  Listen  we're  friends,  so  I  don't  want  to  think  of  you  that  
way.  It's  just  fine  as  it  is,  and  I've  liked  it  up  to  this  point.  Anyway,  that's  the  
50  Shades  Conversation.  You're  just  going  to  have  this  conversation  where  
you're  like  I  can't  believe  that  you're  a  sexual  human  being,  and  you're  
starting  to  turn  around  the  frame  of  the  conversation  to  this  is  a  shock  to  
me  that  you  are  a  sexual  human  being.    

Then  you  give  her  that  nickname.  You're  like  a  starfish  or  like  a  lima  beans.  
Lima  beans  also  reproduce  monozygotically.  This  is  a  very  constricted  
version  of  the  conversation  or  compressed  version  of  the  conversation.  It  
can  go  on  a  little  bit  longer.  You  can  talk  to  her  a  little  bit  more  about  what  
is  it  about  the  book  that  makes  you  like  it?    

Usually  discovery  is  going  to  be  a  little  bit  longer,  too.  The  discovery  that  
she's  a  sexual  human  being  is  a  surprise.  I  was  really  trying  to  get  it  out  very  
quickly  there,  but  in  the  past  when  this  conversation  has  happened  it's  
always  been  more  of  a  slow,  wow,  I  just  didn't  really  ...  I  don't  know.  Then  
you  start  talking  about  I  know  you've  had  boyfriends  in  the  past,  but  I  was  
never  sure  if  you  actually  hooked  up  with  them  or  what.  It's  a  slow,  long,  
protracted  process.  The  effect  is  has  is  somewhat  magical.    

 
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That's  it.  The  body  language  you're  going  to  have  from  that  point  forward  if  
you're  a  guy  who  has  traditionally  given  a  girl  all  your  body  language,  you're  
like  this  when  you're  talking  to  her.  Imagine  you're  out  with  her  at  the  bar,  
and  you're  just  like  ...  We're  out  at  the  bar  now,  and  we're  friends  or  what  
have  you.    

My  body  language  is  just  going  to  be  a  lot  less  interested.  Once  we've  had  
this  conversation  maybe  it's  a  week  later  we're  hanging  out.  We're  talking,  
but  I'm  just  like  this.  I'm  not  giving  you  a  whole  lot  of  my  body.  I'm  just  
standing  here  looking  out,  talking  like  that.  That's  the  real  key.  Your  body  
language  is  going  to  be  a  lot  less  interested  from  this  point  forward.  Thank  
you,  very  much  for  that.    

I  love  the  shock  on  your  face  by  the  way  because  it's  always  like  that.  It's  
like,  is  he  really  saying  this  to  me.  Does  he  really  mean  this?  You're  getting  
a  little  impudent  right  now.  Would  you  care  to  comment?  

Alicia:    It  is  a  total  ...  Even  someone  like  a  guy  friend  of  yours  or  something  
to  have  them  say  I  don't  think  of  you  as  a  sexual  person  ...  I'm  just  like  "uh."  

Christian:    What  is  the  "uh."  

Alicia:    Of  course.  Everyone's  sexual.  Why  would  you  not  ...  It  kind  of-­‐  

Christian:    How  does  that  make  you  feel?  

Alicia:  It  makes  me  want  to  challenge  you  and  prove  to  you  that-­‐  

Christian:    You're  sure  it  does?  Kind  of,  sort  of,  a  little  bit?  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM RESETTING IMPRESSION

Alicia:    It  makes  me  want  to  play  with  the  idea,  yeah.    

Christian:  Okay,  good.  You're  not  just  saying  that?  

Alicia:  No,  totally.  It's  like  a  challenge.  Why  would  you  not?  

Christian:    All  right  good.  I  just  wanted  to  make  sure  that  I  wasn't  saying  shit  
that  didn't  match  up  to  your  reality.  That's  really  ...  Thank  you  very  much.  
That's  really  the  principle  here.  It's  like  you  tell  a  girl  that  she  can't  do  
something  or  you  don't  see  her  in  a  certain  way,  most  girls  will  respond  to  
the  challenge  and  step  up  to  it.    

I  was  talking  to  my  friend  Ashley  last  weekend.  She's  like,  "Oh  yeah,  we  
were  out  with  some  guys  the  other  night,  and  they  were  like,  'Yeah,  you  
know  we're  going  skydiving  tomorrow  morning,  but  you  guys  don't  really  
seem  like  the  type  who  would  be  down  for  something  like  that."  She's  like,  
"Fuck  that.  You  don't  tell  me  I'm  not  down  for  something  like  that.  I'm  
going  to  go."    

It's  that  sort  of  challenge,  that  same  principle  that  you're  putting  to  work  
here.  Again,  we  did  it  in  a  very  compressed  way.  I  would  have  probably  
been  a  little  smoother,  and  a  little  more  protracted  with  it.  You  can  start  
this  over  text  messaging  and  go  from  there.  It's  great  when  it  happens  over  
text  messaging  because  the  moment  you  say,  "I'm  shocked  that  you've  read  
this,"  or  "Oh  my  God,  that's  so  weird,"  she's  going  to  ...  It  just  captivates  her  
attention.  Why  is  that  weird?  What  about  that  is  weird.  

 
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That's  about  it.  I  want  to  make  a  quick  impression  of  the  summary,  or  a  
quick  summary  of  impression.  We're  towards  the  end  of  impression,  and  
we  still  have  inspection  to  get  through,  the  whole  dating  process,  and  that's  
a  whole  lot  of  stuff,  too.  We've  dwelt  on  this  for  a  long  time.  The  key  point  
that  I  hope  you  guys  take  away  ...  We've  seen  a  lot  of  body  language  
demonstrations,  a  few  conversations,  demonstrations.    

This  stuff  does  not  have  to  be  hard.  Impression  really  does  not  have  to  be  
hard.  The  magic  of  standing  out  is  really  in  the  simple  stuff.  It's  in  being  
genuine  and  being  dominant  if  you  can  be  dominant,  if  the  situation  calls  
for  it.  It's  in  making  that  eye  contact,  allowing  your  sexuality  out,  allowing  
yourself  to  make  that  connection  with  her.  All  of  the  stuff  that  we  discussed  
on  day  1,  it's  just  allowing  that  to  flow  in  conversation.    

The  magic,  I  want  to  make  this  clear,  the  magic  of  standing  out  is  in  the  
simple  stuff.  Furthermore,  the  higher  value  of  a  guy  that  you  can  be,  the  
easier  that  this  stiff  gets.  I  showed  you  how  you  can  engineer  social  
situations  in  your  favor,  how  you  can  make  it  so  that  girls  approach  you,  so  
that  you  have  them  working  to  build  rapport  for  you.    

The  higher  value  of  a  guy  you  are,  and  the  more  that  you  create  those  
social  situations,  the  better.  You  don't  have  to  be  rich  to  do  any  of  this  
stuff,  either.  That's  a  common  objections  guys  have.  You  do  not  have  to  be  
rich  to  do  this  stuff.  You  just  have  to  be  resourceful  with  your  time,  with  
your  focus.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM RESETTING IMPRESSION

This  is  all  about  creating  value  for  others  if  you're  going  to  do  it  that  way.  
Then,  at  that  point  forward,  it's  a  pretty  simple  conversation,  pretty  similar  
to  the  one  that  you  saw  just  a  few  minutes  ago,  and  something  that  simple  
can  lead  to  a  phone  number,  that  leads  to  great  dates,  and  leads  to  a  
girlfriend.  We're  going  to  show  you  how  to  get  to  that  from  this  point  
forward.

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INSPECTION

CHAPTER 17: INSPECTION

We're  moving  into  stage  two  of  the  obsession  story.  Inspection.  This  is  the  
dating  phase.  This  is  when  you  guys  are  dating  each  other.  It  often  feels,  for  
many  guys  like  you're  the  one  being  inspected,  like  she's  inspecting  you.  A  
lot  of  material  in  this  section  is  going  to  help  you  flip  that  around.  

A  big  part  of  that,  and  you're  going  to  hear  me  say  this  again  and  again  and  
again,  is  giving  her  space  and  creating  mystery.  I  want  you  to  embrace  the  
uncertainty  and  the  excitement  of  this  phase  as  a  healthy  attitude  to  go  
into  it  with.  A  lot  of  men  find  it  frustrating.  I  just  find  it  uncertain.  I  embrace  
it  and  somehow  that  embrace  of  it  has  led  to  great  success.  

If  she's  emotionally  healthy  and  if  you  are  emotionally  healthy  and  you  two  
get  along  and  you're  attracted  to  each  other  then  this  should  proceed  
pretty  easily.    

Now  there's  a  lot  of  things  that  I  just  said  there.  She  might  not  be  
emotionally  healthy.  You  might  have  some  things  that  you  need  to  work  on.  
You  guys  might  not  be  attracted  to  each  other.  She  might  not  be  attracted  
to  you  in  the  way  you  wish  she  was.  Maybe  you  guys  just  don't  click  or  
don't  connect.  

Any  of  those  things  can  get  in  the  way,  but  the  biggest  thing  that  I  see,  the  
biggest  reason  that  this  doesn't  happen  is  usually  she's  not  emotionally  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INSPECTION

healthy  or  you  do  something  that  indicates  that  you're  not  ready  for  a  
relationship.  

We  were  just  talking  during  the  break  and  she  was  like,  "So  I  was  on  a  date  
with  a  guy.  It  was  going  really  well.  It  was  just  a  fun  date  and  blah,  blah,  
blah.  Everything's  good.  He  looked  at  me  and  he's  like  'Are  we  going  to  
have  sex  tonight?'  To  me  that's  kind  of  the  sign  of  an  emotionally  unhealthy  
human  being.  We  all  might  want  that  but  at  least  some  of  us  have  the  good  
sense  not  to  proceed  in  that  manner.  Just  keep  that  in  mind.  

What  is  the  feel  of  inspection?  I  have  another  one  of  these  wonderful  
graphs  here  which  when  we  actually  edit  the  video,  we'll  make  sure  to  cut  
this  in,  but  her  interest  and  her  investment,  if  you  think  about  it  on  a  line  
from  zero  to  one  hundred  and  kind  of  going  up  where  time  is  on  the  X  axis  
and  interest  is  on  the  Y  axis,  a  lot  of  guys  would  like  to  think  it  just  kind  of  
goes  like  that.  There's  a  straight  shot  up  from  meeting  her  to  being  in  a  
relationship,  it's  a  straight  shot  up.  

For  a  lot  of  guys  too,  if  they  really  like  a  girl,  maybe  if  you're  sitting  at  home  
watching  this,  maybe  you  really  like  a  girl,  it's  like  you're  already  up  here.  
Your  investment  in  her,  we  talked  about  investment  yesterday,  whereas  if  
this  is  time  zero  and  this  is  interest  level  zero,  you  meet  her,  you  get  her  
number,  you're  already  in  your  head,  you're  like,  "Oh,  we're  in  a  
relationship."  

You've  already  thought  that  far  ahead.  This  has  happened  to  everybody.  
The  reality  of  this  phase  works  is  that  it's  more  like  a  zigzag.  It  goes  up  and  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INSPECTION

down,  so  you  meet  her,  you  get  her  number.  You  get  her  number  and  then  
she  leaves  you  and  her  investment  drops  off  a  little  bit.  

You've  made  a  strong  impression  but  maybe  her  investment  drops  off  a  
little  bit.  Then  you  start  texting  and  her  investment  goes  up  again.  You  guys  
have  your  first  date.  It  goes  really  well.  Then  the  investment's  going  to  drop  
a  little  bit.  Not  as  much  as  it  did  last  time,  but  then  you  guys  start  texting  
again.  You  have  a  second  date.  

It's  kind  of  this  zigzag,  back  and  forth.  I  want  you  to  just  remember  that  
you're  never  really  locked  in  at  the  level  of  investment  that  you  would  like  
to  be  at  until  you're  probably  eight  months  into  the  relationship.  

Just  accept  that  fact  of  it.  Some  caveats  to  that,  depending  on  the  girl,  it  
might  move  much  more  slowly  or  it  might  move  much  more  quickly.  I've  
dated  girls  and  had  relationships  with  girls  where  we've  had  sex  on  the  first  
date  and  everything  was  great.  It  was  like,  wow.    

They  say  that's  not  supposed  to  happen,  but  that  happened  and  it  worked  
out  amazingly  and  it  was  a  good  date  and  everything  was  good.  I've  had  
other  relationships,  one  of  my,  actually  my  last  relationship,  we  didn't  sleep  
together  for  eight  months.  That  always  shocks  everybody  but  there  were  
some  religious  values  there  and  we  had  to  work  through  those  and  we  had  
to  develop  a  lot  of  trust  and  intimacy  outside  of  a  purely  sexual  
relationship.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INSPECTION

There  was  a  lot  of  physicality;  there  was  a  lot  of  sexuality,  but  not  the  thing.  
Not  sex  itself.  It  just  kind  of  depends.  It's  going  to  depend  on  the  girl.  It's  
going  to  depend  on  you.  A  reminder  and  I've  said  this  a  few  times,  there  
may  be  flags  on  the  play,  so  you  could  get  a  weekend,  two  weeks  into  
dating  a  girl  and  she  could  just  disappear.  

I've  seen  this  happen  plenty  of  times.  I'm  sure  it's  happened  to  you  guys.  
Don't  always  put  it  on  yourself.  An  ex-­‐boyfriend  could  have  showed  up.  She  
could  be  crazy.  She  could  have  to  travel  for  work.    If  it's  not  proceeding,  in  
the  texting  course  I  gave  you  some  really  good  stuff  to  use  if  she's  not  
getting  back  to  you,  but  if  it's  not  proceeding  exactly  has  you  planned,  just  
remember,  shit  comes  up  in  people's  lives.  Lots  of  girls  in  the  world.  

Finally  what  I'm  going  to  share  with  you  here  is  what  works  for  me.  I  seem  
to  be  pretty  good  at  this.  I'm  not  a  master  pickup  artists.  I'm  not  the  type  of  
guy  who  goes  out  and  has  a  lot  of  one  night  stands.  That's  really  never  ever  
been  my  thing.  

What  has  been  my  thing  has  been  developing  meaningful  relationships  with  
girls  over  time  and  not  pushing  it  and  just  allowing  myself  to  fall  in  love  
with  a  girl  and  play  it  slowly.  If  I  lose  her,  I  lose  her  and  if  I  win  her,  I  win  
her.      

What  follows  is  sort  of  the  pattern  that  has  proceeded  from  all  that,  but  
you've  heard  from  some  other  guys,  there's  plenty  of  other  dating  coaches  
out  there  who  kind  of  have  a  different  thing  than  me,  so  everything  I'm  
going  to  share  here  just  happens  to  be  my  thing.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INSPECTION

Before  me  move  on  and  get  to  the  first  date,  I  just  want  to  give  you  guys  
once  again  I've  touched  on  all  these  things,  the  most  important  rule,  most  
important  rule  in  the  dating  game  is  give  her  the  gift  of  wondering  about  
you.  

If  you're  in  doubt  at  any  point  in  the  dating  game  about  does  she  like  me?  
Does  she  not?  Should  I  text  her?  Shouldn't  I?  Should  I  tell  her  how  I'm  
feeling?  Shouldn't  I?  At  almost  every  point,  give  her  the  gift  of  wondering  
about  you.  There's  a  concept  I  call  live  in  the  moment,  flirt  with  the  future.  
Some  of  you  might  be  familiar  with  this.  The  notion  of  life  in  the  moment,  
flirt  with  the  future  is  this,  when  you  are  with  her  you  are  with  her  and  you  
are  having  fun.    

You're  not  trying  to  confirm  the  future.  You're  not  trying  to  say  oh,  so  what  
are  you  doing  next  Friday?  I  remember  yesterday  David  Wygant  was  saying  
I'll  try  to  plan  the  date  right  then  and  there.  I  never  do  that.  Ever,  ever,  
ever.  

It  works  for  David,  I  just  don't  do  it  as  a  matter  of  principle.  I  always,  like  I  
never  say,  "Oh,  what  are  you  doing  Friday?  What  are  you  doing  Tuesday?"  
It's  none  of  that.  What  I  do  do  a  lot  of  is  make  a  lot  of  plans  about  things  
that  we  should  do  together.  Say,  "Oh,  we  gotta  go  see  that  movie  together.  
It  looks  amazing.  Oh,  you  haven't  had  artichoke  pizza?  I'm  definitely  taking  
you  down  to  artichoke  pizza.  OK,  I  love  the  planetarium.  I  didn't  know  girls  
like  science.  That's  amazing  you  like  science.  We're  definitely  going  to  the  
planetarium."  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INSPECTION

Stuff  like  that,  so  living  in  the  moment  and  I  say  flirt  with  the  future.  I'm  just  
touching  on  the  future,  but  not  holding  onto  it.  This  single  principle  is  the  
core  of  almost  all  of  my  flirtation.    Almost  all  the  girls  I've  dated  have  
remarked  upon  it,  how  they  love  it  and  they  love  it's  like,  I  make  all  these  
plans  with  you  and  I  think  about  us  doing  all  these  things  and  they  had  to  
verbalize  it,  I  get  really  invested  in  having  a  future  with  you  because  we  talk  
about  all  these  amazing,  fun,  awesome  things  we're  going  to  do.    

The  fact  that  I'm  not  holding  onto  them,  "Oh,  you  love  the  planetarium?  
Great.  What  are  you  doing  next  Thursday  at  eight  o'clock?"  It's  very  touch  
and  go.  You  still  keep  that  element  of  mystery  of  like  is  he  into  me  or  not?  I  
think  Alex  would  call  this  an  LA  thing.  You  don't  really  know  if  somebody  
means  it  or  not.  You  do  mean  it  with  her,  but  you're  just  not  going  to  let  her  
know  that.  

She's  going  to  wonder  about  you  if  you're  flirting  with  the  future  a  lot.  
Along  those  lines,  don't  over-­‐confirm  stuff.  Don't  over-­‐confirm  dates,  don't  
over-­‐confirm  whether  she  likes  you  or  not.  There's  always  these  guys  who  
go  out  on  dates  and  are  like,  "Oh,  are  you  having  fun  so  far?  Is  everything  
up  to  your  standards?"  You're  just  over-­‐confirming  everything.  You're  
looking  for  confirmation  from  her.  

Assume  that  if  she's  with  you,  she's  having  fun  with  you.  Assume  that  if  
she's  at  a  place  that  you  like  that  she's  liking  it  too.  She's  not,  maybe  it's  not  
a  good  value  fit.  Don't  over-­‐confirm  things.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INSPECTION

A  third  element  of  giving  her  the  gift  of  wondering  about  you  is  let  her  feel  
your  intention,  but  leave  it  unstated.  When  you  look  at  her  in  the  eye,  
actually  this  would  be  a  great  demonstration  for  Mona.  Please,  join  me.  So  
let's  imagine  that  we're  on  a  date  and  if  you  could  stand  right  there,  just  so  
the  camera  can  see  me.  Let's  imagine  we're  on  a  date.  You've  just  said  
something  really  amazing.  What  I'm  going  to  say  with  my  eyes  is  going  to  
be  somewhat  different  than  what  I  say  with  my  words.  

She's  just  told  me  that  she  saves  children  in  Africa.  Pick  your  cause.  You  do  
something  amazing  and  I'm  going  to  look  at  you  and  my  eyes  are  going  to  
be  saying  wow,  I  think  you're  the  most  incredible  person  in  the  world  and  
my  mouth  is  going  to  say  that's  cool.  

OK,  so  watch  this  demonstration  right  now.    

Alicia:  I  donate  a  lot  of  money  to  rescue  animals,  especially  cats.  

Christian:    So  cool.  So,  you  can  feel  my  intention,  right?  I'm  really  
appreciative  of  you  in  that  moment.  She  loves  cats.  Do  you  love  every  type  
of  cat?  

Do  you  know  what  I'm  talking  about?  Do  you  want  to  hug  them  all  and  put  
them  in  a  basket  with  little  bow  ties  on  them  and  watch  them  on  a  
rainbow?  

Alicia:    I  get  what  you're  doing,  yup.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INSPECTION

Christian:    Do  you  get  what  I'm  doing?  OK.  You've  seen  the  cat  video?  All  
right.  Thank  you  very  much.  Thank  you  very  much.  Yeah,  that  was  it.  Does  
anybody  know  the  cat  video?  I  love  cats,  all  right.  

I  got  that  song  stuck  in  my  head  on  a  motorcycle  drive.  I  was  like,  for  about  
two  hours  I  was  just  sitting  on  my  bike  with  that  song.  So  you  want  her  to  
feel  your  intention,  but  leave  it  somewhat  unstated,  so  my  eyes  are  like,  I'm  
looking  at  her  like  wow,  this  is  an  amazing  woman.  She  donates  to  help  
cats.  Maybe  that's  not  the  most  amazing  thing  in  the  world,  but  it  is  good.  It  
is  good.  It's  your  sense  of  humor  that  I  appreciate.  

“Do  you  actually  do  that,  by  the  way?  “  

Alicia:   No.  

Christian:    Right,  right.  Cats  need  love.  She's  just  like,  I  donate  to  cats.  I'm  
like  that's  the  most  amazing  thing  in  the  world.  But  that's  a  good  
demonstration.  You  want  her  to  feel  your  intention,  but  leave  it  unstated.  
Right?  

Or  you  could  be  looking  at  her  and  this  is  a  lot  with  sexuality,  right?  You  can  
be  thinking  holy  cow,  I  cannot  wait  to  just  make  love  to  you  violently,  
passionately  and  amazingly.  You  can  be  thinking  that  and  kind  of  feeling  it  
in  your  body,  and  you  might  state  that  every  now  and  then,  but  you  might  
just  say,  "You  look  amazing  tonight."  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INSPECTION

What  you're  stating  is  very  different  than  what  you're  allowing  your  
intention  to  feel.  That's  again,  giving  her  the  gift  of  wondering  about  you.  
What  do  you  really  mean?  What  do  you  really  say?  

Finally,  when  in  doubt,  give  her  space.  When  in  doubt,  give  her  space.  If  
you're  doubting  whether  you  should  text  her  or  not,  whether  you  should  
call  her  or  not,  whether  you  should  say  that  thing  you  were  going  to  say  or  
not,  when  in  doubt,  give  her  space.  

That  last  relationship  that  I  was  on  or  that  I  was  in,  it  took  about  four  
months  between  when  I  met  her  and  when  we  started  like  actually  dating  
each  other  and  when  we  had  our  first,  I'm  sorry  when  we  had  our  first  kiss.    

What  I  realized  was  she  really  liked  me,  but  because  of  our  religious  
differences  there  was,  she  wanted  to  put  space  between  us.  That  was  the  
one  thing  that  she  could  use  as  power  over  my  charms,  was  space.  

Every  time  we  would  make  progress,  like  if  we  went  on  a  date,  I  wouldn't  
hear  from  her  for  a  week.  We  kissed  each  other,  didn't  hear  from  her  for  a  
week.  Touched  each  other,  didn't  hear  from  her  for  a  week.  

I  just  realized  space  was  her  way  of  kind  of  allowing  herself  to  say  I'm  still  in  
control  here.  That's  the  case  with  a  lot  of  girls.  They  just  don't  want  to  feel  
like  they're  being  pushed  into  something,  jammed  into  something  that  
they're  like  being  led  into  a  relationship  by  your  need.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INSPECTION

They  want  it  to  feel  like  a  dance,  like  it's  something  that  they  want  to  be  a  
part  of  too,  so  when  in  doubt,  give  her  some  space.  Be  strong.  Say  a  prayer.  
Do  some  meditation.  Do  whatever  you  need  to  do.  Go  fishing.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

CHAPTER 18: THE FIRST DATE

First  date.    That  thing  that  gets  your  heart  racing,  and  you're  like,  "Oh,  my  
God.    This  is  going  to  be  amazing,  or  it's  going  to  be  terrible."    Mechanics  of  
it.    You  start  on  Monday,  Tuesday,  or  Wednesday.    That's  a  good  first  date  
night.    Friday,  hell,  no.    She's  probably  got  plans.    You  should  have  plans.      

Thursday,  probably  not.    Saturday,  no  thank  you.    Monday,  Tuesday,  or  
Wednesday.    Great  first  date.    First  date  activity.    What  are  you  going  to  
do?    Drinks  and  an  activity.    Usually  two  different  locations.    You're  going  to  
do  drinks  and  an  activity.    We  were  just  talking.    He  said  he  did  lunch  and  
activity  before.    That  worked  out  very  well.      

I  give  you  a  couple  example  of  dates  that  I've  taken  girls  on  here  that  really  
liked.    One  of  them,  there's  a  jazz  club  called  NuBlu  here  in  East  Village.  It's  
Brazilian  jazz.    I'll  take  a  girl  there  to  dance.  A  little  bit  of  Brazilian  jazz.    I'm  
not  a  great  dancer,  but  it's  still  fun.    It  gets  us  close.      

We  don't  have  to  dance.    We  can  just  go  there  and  watch  people  dance.    It  
depends  on  the  chemistry.    After  that,  take  her  to  Ace  Bar.    Ace  Bar  has  a  
skeeball  table.    We're  able  to  go  straight  from  NuBlu  to  playing  skeeball  and  
having  a  little  game  that  we  play  with  each  other.  That's  a  good  example.      

Another  one  that  I  used  to  love  was  before  it  closed  down  there's  a  bar  
called  the  Oak  Room,  and  it  was  at  the  Plaza,  and  it's  real  classy.    You  go  in  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

there  and  there's  a  3  piece  jazz  ensemble  all  1920s  style,  bow  ties,  and  
they're  just  rocking  it.    You  go  in  there,  have  a  martini  or  2.      

She  has  to  dress  up  really  nice  to  go  into  that  place.    You  will  too.    You'll  
wear  a  suit.    You  leave  the  Oak  Room,  and  you  say,  "Okay.    I've  got  one  
more  spot  in  mind."    You  take  her  to  Dave  &  Busters.    You  guys  play  some  
basketball  and  some  other  stuff.    It  creates  a  really  nice  contrast  for  the  
date.      

Another  one  we've  got  a  ping  pong  club  here  in  town.    That's  definitely  
been  another  one.    When  I  lived  in  Flat  Iron,  I  would  do  this  bar  called  Live  
Baits,  and  go  right  next  door  to  Spin.    Depending  on  where  you  live,  find  
something  fun.  Find  a  cool  activity.    Honestly,  if  you  can,  make  it  like  
clockwork.    Pick  the  spot  that  works,  pick  a  spot  that  works  for  your  
geography.    When  I  was  living  downtown,  Ace  Bar  was  a  really  easy  one.    
Then  I  started  uptown,  and  it  was  Dave  &  Busters,  because  that's  ...  For  
those  who  don't  know  Manhattan  it's  a  20  minute  cab  ride  between  the  
two,  and  you  don't  want  that  on  a  date.      

The  one  thing  I  would  say,  for  God  sake,  don't  do  a  wine  bar,  or  a  nightclub  
on  the  first  date.    Wine  bars  are  cliché,  and  every  day  has  been  on  a  million  
fuckin'  wine  bar  dates.    If  you're  an  amazing  conversationalist  it  can  work,  
but  it's  cliché.    A  nightclub,  just  don't  do  a  nightclub  on  the  first  date.    It's  
such  a  bad  idea,  because  you  don't  have  value  in  the  nightclub  unless  
you're  the  owner  of  the  nightclub.      

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

She  just  wants  to  talk  to  you.    I'm  saying  this  because  I've  done  nightclubs  
on  first  dates,  and  it  was  terrible,  terrible  idea.    There's  that.    Should  you  
pay  for  the  first  date?    If  you  can  you  should.  You  were  probably  the  one  to  
ask  her  out.    A  lot  of  guys  hate  it  when  I  say  this.  We  live  in  this  time  where  
the  economy  has  changed  quite  a  bit.      

I  think  we  talked  about  this  yesterday.    Women  have  more  middle  class  
jobs.    They're  earning  at  the  same  level  that  men  were.    There's  this  whole  
nanosphere.    Does  anybody  know  the  nanosphere?    It's  a  bunch  of  bloggers  
who  are  really  angry  about  feminist  rights,  and  who  want  to  take  the  power  
back.    The  thing  is  ...  Here's  what  I  would  say  broadly.      

Guys  who  get  angry  about  the  state  of  affairs  of  whether  they  should  pay  or  
not  and  masculine  feminine  power,  guys  who  get  angry  about  that  usually  
don't  get  laid  and  they  usually  don't  have  girlfriends.    They're  just  angry.    
It's  like,  "Okay.    You  know.    That's  fine."  Whatever.    If  you  want  to  really  
ridgedly  adhere  to  your  principals  about  it  should  be  equal  then  you  can  do  
that,  but  you're  going  to  lose  out  on  having  a  lot  of  great  relationships  in  
the  meanwhile.  

One  thing  that  is  cool  is  a  lot  of  women  will  offer  to  pay  for  the  second  
round.    You  can  actually  say  that.    You  can  be  like,  "All  right.    I'll  tell  you  
what.    I  got  this  round.    You  get  the  next  one."    It  depends  on  how  much  
you  like  the  girl.    If  I  really  like  the  girl,  if  I've  got  a  great  vibe  from  her,  I'm  
not  even  going  to  make  her  worry  about  it.      

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

If  I'm  not  really  sure  about  her,  and  I'm  trying  to  keep  it  upbeat,  but  I  don't  
want  to  make  that  much  of  an  investment,  the  first  drinks  I'll  be  like,  "Okay.    
Tell  you  what.    I've  got  this  round,  you  get  the  next  one."    Something  like  
that.    She'll  be  like,  "All  right.    Cool."    If  you  go  to  somewhere  with  a  game  
like  Dave  &  Busters  or  Ace  Bar,  Ping  Pong,  any  of  those  places,  you  can  also  
have  a  loser  pays.    You  can  say,  "Okay.      

First  rounds  on  me,  second  round  loser  pays."    That  can  work  very  well  too.  
If  you  don't  drink,  you  can  do  this  with  coffee.    Coffee  and  an  activity.    Meet  
her  up  for  coffee.    Meet  her  up  for  lunch.    Great  daytime  activity  is  
wandering  around  and  trying  on  sunglasses.    Everybody  feels  like  and  looks  
like  a  rock  star  when  you're  in  sunglasses.    That's  never  a  bad  little  thing  to  
do.    Like,  "Hey,  let's  get  some  lunch,"  and  like,  "Oh,  let's  go  sunglass  
shopping.    I've  been  needing  some  new  sunglasses  anyway.      

Try  them  on,  annoy  the  clerk  at  Sunglasses  Huts,  because  you  see  people  
doing  shit,  but  maybe  tip  her  $5  bucks,  and  be  like,  "Yo.    Look  the  other  
way."  Those  are  the  mechanics  of  the  first  date.    How  about  the  
conversation?    We're  going  to  walk  through  the  conversation  step  by  step.    
This  is  where  I  will  enlist  your  services.      

When  you  meet  her,  you  might  meet  her  ...  If  you  live  in  New  York  ...  We  
were  just  talking  about  this,  and  you  meet  her  in  New  York,  you're  probably  
going  to  meet  her  at  the  venue.    If  you  don't  meet  her  at  the  venue  then  
you  might  have  her  come  to  your  house.    Sometimes  at  work.    Sometimes  
they'll  say  yes,  sometimes  they'll  say  no.      

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

Whatever  the  case,  when  you  meet  her,  you're  going  to  do  a  couple  things.    
Compliments,  and  a  small  tease.    I'll  give  her  a  kiss  on  the  cheek.    I'm  going  
to  give  her  direct  eye  contact,  I'm  going  to  be  a  little  bit  nonchalant,  I'm  
going  to  make  a  little  compliment,  and  we're  going  to  start  going  in  the  
direction  that  we're  going.      

Let's  say  I  told  her,  "Hey.    Meet  me  outside  of  NuBlu  at  9:00."    I  see  her  
there.    I  start  to  walk  up.    I'm  like,  "Hey  Alicia."    You  know,  we  see  each  
other.    I  come  up.    I  say,  "Hey.    How  you  doing?"    A  little  kiss  on  the  cheek,  
come  back  out.    "You  look  amazing  tonight.    I  almost  wore  the  exact  same  
outfit,  but  I  think  you  make  it  look  a  little  bit  better  then  I  do.    You  ready  to  
go?"    

Alicia:  Sure.  

Christian:    "All  right.    Cool.    Let's  go."    I'm  just  going  to  grab  her  hand,  and  
bring  her  in.    It's  just  that  simple.    Eye  contact,  kiss  on  the  cheek,  and  then  
try  to  smoothly  ...  Watch  my  body  language.    I'm  going  to  do  that  one  more  
time.    I  just  start  to  walk,  and  I  put  my  hand  down  and  expect  that  she's  
going  to  grab  it.    Let's  see  that  one  more  time.    Hey  what's  up?    How  you  
doing  tonight?  

Alicia:  Good.  

Christian:    Good  to  see  you.  

Alicia:  Nice  to  see  you.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

Christian:    You  look  awesome.  

Alicia:  Thank  you.  

Christian:    You  look  great.    I  was  actually  going  to  wear  that  same  thing.  

Alicia:  That  would  have  been  embarrassing.  

Christian:    I  know.    That  whole  memo  thing.    People  would  have  been  
making  the  jokes.    You  make  it  look  amazing  anyway.      

Alicia:  Thank  you.  

Christian:    You  ready?  

Alicia:  Yeah.    

Christian:    Shall  we?  

Alicia:  Sure.  

Christian:    Awesome.    Let's  go.    Something  like  that.    Cool,  nonchalant.    All  
right.    What  do  you  say  when  you  get  in?    You're  going  to  make  some  small  
talk.    If  you're  standing  there  waiting  for  the  host,  or  waiting  to  be  seated,  
you're  just  going  to  make  a  little  bit  of  small  talk.    "How's  your  day  been  
going.    How's  your  week  going,  and  all  that."      

Usually,  you're  going  to  want  to  kick  off  the  date  with  a  real  fun  
conversation.    Imagine  now  that  we  are  at  ...  Not  Dos  Caminos.    Diablo  
Royale.    There's  a  couple  of  good  lines  to  start  a  date  with.    One  of  them,  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

let's  say  we  just  got  seated,  and  we're  sitting  at  the  bar.    We're  sitting  
down.    Maybe  we're  at  the  bar  next  to  each  other,  or  maybe  we're  across  
from  each  other.    Nevermind  that  right  now.  

One  thing  that  I've  said  before  is,  "Have  you  ever  been  here  before?"      

Alicia:    No,  I  haven't.  

Christian:  Awesome.    I'm  glad.    It  was  between  this  and  coal  mine  for  our  
first  date.    I  thought  this  is  slightly  better  environment.  Have  you  ever  been  
to  a  coal  mine?  

Alicia:  No.      

Christian:    See  that  could  have  been  something  new  that  we  did.  You're  
thinking  that  far  ahead?    We  haven't  ordered  drinks  yet  girl.    You  already  
want  to  go  plow  coal.    Anyway,  it's  between  this,  or  ...  It's  that's  whole  false  
choice  thing.    It's  between  this  or  I  don't  know.      

Going  goldfish  shopping.    It's  between  this,  or  ...  Be  creative.    Come  up  with  
something  on  your  own  that  makes  you  laugh.    That's  one  thing  you  can  do.    
Another  thing.    This  always  ...  One  of  my  favorite  date  spots  is  this  place  
called  Diablo  Royale.    The  reason  is,  and  maybe  you  know  this  about  me  if  
you've  watched  some  of  my  Youtube  videos.    I  had  an  amazing  experience  
that  started  at  Diablo  Royale  where  I  started  going  tequila  shots  there  on  a  
Sunday  night,  and  that  Monday  morning  I  woke  up  in  Mexico.      

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

The  intervening  time  involved,  more  tequila  shots,  and  shōchū,  and  
karaoke,  and  my  friend  Alice  pushing  us  to  go  to  Mexico,  and  then  her  
getting  kicked  off  the  airplane.    It's  this  amazing  story.    Besides  the  Diablo  
Royale  having  a  pretty  cool  vibe,  it  also  allows  me  to  lead  the  date  with  that  
story.      

I  don't  expect  everybody  to  have  a  story  like  that,  but  if  you  have  some  sort  
of  cool  story  associated  with  the  venue,  then  that's  a  great  thing  to  start  
with.    If  you've  got  a  cool  spot  that  you  like  to  go,  and  something  cool  has  
happened  to  you  there.    What  I  would  do  if  I  was  at  Diablo  Royale,  I  would  
be  like,  "So,  you  haven't  been  here  before?    Okay.    Cool.  So,  they've  got  this  
drink.    It's  called  a  beergorita.    You  ever  had  one?"  

Alicia:  "No,  I  haven't."  

Christian:    "Okay.    Two  rules  about  the  beergarita."  

Alicia:    "Okay."  

Christian:    "First,  is  you  have  to  try  one.    The  second's  we  can't  have  too  
many."  

Alicia:  "Okay."  

Christian:    "Okay."  

Alicia:    "Why?"  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

Christian:    "Why?"    Notice  the  pause  where  I  allow  it.    "Well,  it  depends.    It  
depends  on  what  kind  of  night  we  want  to  have.    The  last  time  this  
happened  to  me,  I  ended  up  in  Mexico  on  Monday  morning  when  I  had  too  
many  beer  ...  If  this  is  going  really  well,  then  maybe  we'll  just  order  a  bunch,  
and  like,  ...  Yeah,  that  happened."      

That's  another  good  way  to  lead  into  the  date.    A  little  recap  about  the  
venue.    She'll  probably  ask,  "Well  how  did  that  happen?"  or  "Tell  me  about  
that  story."    Now  you've  got  a  story  going.    Now  you're  in  a  conversation.    
This  story  happens  to  be  a  particularly  good  story,  so  we're  off  to  the  races.      

A  great  first  date  story  is  a  crazy  thing  that  happened,  or  a  spontaneous  
thing  that  happened,  or  an  adventurous  thing  that  happened.    A  time  you  
went  sky  diving,  or  a  time  you  saw  a  great  white  shark  and  almost  pooped  
your  pants.    I  don't  know.    I  hope  that  didn't  happen.    Don't  share  that  
second  part  of  the  story.    Some  cool  thing  that  happened  to  you  that's  
going  to  get  them  to  open  up.      

The  theme  of  that  story  should  really  be  spontaneity,  or  excitement,  or  
adventure.    Something  like  that.    As  it's  going  to  cause  the  date  to  become  
more  fun  by  talking  about  that  particular  topic.    As  the  date  wears  on,  you  
can  talk  about  a  game  that  you  might  like  to  play.    If  I  know  I'm  going  to  
take  her  to  play  skeeball,  I'm  going  to  say,  "I've  got  a  question  for  you.    Did  
you  ever  go  to  Chuck  e  Cheese's  as  a  kid,  or  Major  Magics?      

Alicia:    "Major  Magics.    Or  course,  I'm  full,  but-­‐"  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

Christian:    "Right.    One  of  the  best  childhood  spots  in  the  world  as  long  as  
you  don't  allow  yourself  to  get  traumatized  by  the  giant  mechanic.    I  
remember  one  time  I  was  there  and  the  mechanical  robot  just  froze.    I  was  
old  enough  to  remember  what  was  going  on,  but  my  sister  was  really  
freaked  out.    Yeah,  that  was  ...  That  kind  of-­‐"  

Alicia:  "Traumatizing?"  

Christian:    "Yeah,  a  little  ...  Anyway,  did  you  play  skeeball  when  you  were  
there?"  

Alicia:    "Of  course.    No,  I'm  really  good  at  skeeball."  

Christian:    "Really.    Really  good,  as  in  like-­‐"  

Alicia:    "I'm  very  good  at  skeeball."  

Christian:    "  ...  As  in  you  think  you  think  you  could  beat  me  at  skeeball?    
Hmm.    We  might  just  have  to  put  that  to  the  test.    We  might  just  have  to  
play  a  game  of  skeeball  or  two  at  some  point  in  the  future."      

Alicia:    "All  right."  

Christian:    Anyway.    If  I  know  the  activity  is  coming,  I'm  going  to  figure  out  a  
way  to  seed  that  activity,  but  not  actually  tell  her  that  we're  going  to  play  it.    
It's  something  that  becomes  something  that  we  do.    Flirt  with  the  future  on  
that.    I'm  going  to  flirt  with  the  future  on  other  things.    What  else?    No,  I  
want  to  show  you  think  conversation  structure.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

 I've  demonstrated  this  a  lot.    This  is  what  I  can,  I  don't  know,  I  don't  really  
have  a  name  for  technique.    We'll  leave  the  names  out  of  it.    What  we're  
basically  going  to  do  is  I'm  going  to  tell  a  story  of  my  own.    I'm  going  to  end  
by  saying,  "And  it  was  the  most  x  thing  I've  ever  done."    In  my  case  the  
most  spontaneous  thing  I've  ever  done.      

Alicia's  going  to  tell  a  story.    She's  going  to  vibe  on  it  a  little  bit,  and  then  
I'm  going  to  talk  to  her  a  little  about  it,  and  then  I'm  going  to  future  project  
the  two  stories  together.    That's  how  it's  going  to  go.    You're  going  to  see  
this  in  action,  but  the  structure  again  is,  you  tell  a  story,  you  end  by  saying,  
"It  was  the  most  x  thing  I've  ever  done.    What's  something  x  that  you've  
done?"    She  tells  the  story.      

You  guys  talk  about  it  for  a  while,  and  you  future  project  the  stories  
together.    Going  to  the  Mexico  story,  "Yeah,  My  friend  Alice  she's  this  pint  
sized,  but  monumental  amount  of  trouble.    We  were  out  at  this  exact  
restaurant,  sitting  at  that  table  over  there."  

Alicia:    "Okay."  

Christian:    "She's  like,  'Hey,  guys.    Wouldn't  it  be  great  to  go  to  Mexico  
today?    It'd  be  so  nice  to  be  in  Mexico'"    "We're  like,  'Yeah,  whatever  it's  
fine.  It's  April.    Sure.    Of  course.'    The  night  wore  on.    We  had  some  tequila  
shots  as  sometimes  happens."  

"That's  what  one  does.    We  had  some  tequila  shots.    Somehow  by  the  end  
of  two  hours  we'd  had  enough  that  when  she  was  like,  'Hey,  guys.    Let's  go  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

to  karaoke.'    We're  like,  'Oh,  yeah.    Sounds  like  a  good  idea.'    I'm  sure  
you've  had-­‐"  

Alicia:    "I  love  karaoke."  

Christian:  "Correct  me  if  I'm  wrong,  but  usually  karaoke  is  not  a  sober  
decision."  

Alicia:    "Oh,  no."  

Christian:  "Yeah."  

Alicia:    "No."    

Christian:  "It's  always  like,  'Ah,  gosh.    I'm  so  fucked  up.    Let's  go  sing  songs'    
It  was  totally  one  of  those  nights.    She  gets  us  to  karaoke,  and  then  the  
shōchū  starts  coming  out.    We're  drinking,  and  drinking,  and  drinking.    
Finally,  we're  at  2:00,  2:30  am.    She's  like  'Guys  remember  when  I  said  we  
should  go  to  Mexico  earlier?'      

Why  don't  we  go  to  Mexico  right  now.'    I'm  looking  around,  and  I'm  looking  
the  room,  and  everybody's  not  certain  what  to  say.    Our  friend  Pam,  she  
had  just  happened  to  go  through  a  job  loss,  and  a  lot  was  going  on  in  her  
life."      

"She's  like,  'You  know  what.  Fuck  it.    I'll  go  to  Mexico.'    Then  my  friend  Geo  
who  is  a  paragon  of  responsibility,  and  I  look  up  to  in  that  way,  he's  like,  
'You  know  what?    My  company  screwed  me  out  of  my  bonuses  here.    Fuck  
it,  I'll  take  work  off  tomorrow.    I'll  go.'    Then  I  am  looking  up  to  Geo.      

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

I'm  like,  'Well,  if  Geo's  going  to  go,  then  I  have  no  excuse  not  to  go.'    Then  
there  was  only  one  other  person  in  the  room,  this  girl  Desire,  and  she's  like,  
'Well,  if  Y'all  are  going,  then  I  can't  not  go'    We  paid  our  bill.  We're  calling  
each  other  all  the  way  home.      

Get  passports,  pack  3  pairs  of  underwear,  and  some  bathing  suits.    We  
made  our  way  to  the  airport.    We  had  the  last  5  tickets  on  this  flight.    The  
story  goes  on.    Alice  passed  out.    She  ended  up  making  it  down  their  
ladder."  

Alicia:  "On  the  plane,  or  in  the  terminal?"  

Christian:    "She  got  kicked  off.    Actually,  this  is  funny.    We  were  sitting  next  
to  each  other  on  a  plane,  and  I  fell  asleep  finally  when  I  got  on  the  plane.    
She  fell  asleep  on  my  shoulder.    I  wake  up  to  see  little  Alice  being  escorted  
off  the  plane  by  a  federal  air  marshall  because  she  was  too  drunk.    I  
remember  her  last  words.    She's  like,  'This  is  so  unfair.'"  

Alicia:    "No."  

Christian:    "Geo's  such  a  nice  guy.    He  got  up  and  hung  out  with  her  off  the  
plane.    Got  her  some  coffee.    They  took  the  next  flight  down."  

Alicia:  That  sucks.  

Christian:    "Yeah.    We  were  there  for  4  days.    It  was  an  amazing  trip.    
Definitely  the  most  spontaneous  thing  that  I've  ever  done  in  my  life.    I've  
never  done  anything  like  that  before.    After  you  do  something  like  that,  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

you're  like,  'Oh.  This  is  how  a  fun  life  should  be  lived.'  Have  you  ever  done  
something  like  that?"  

Alicia:    "A  couple  months  ago,  I  went  on  a  first  date  to  a  wedding  in  
California,  and  I  didn't  know  the  bride  of  the  groom.    It  was  a  first  date,  so  I  
didn't  really  know  the  guy  that  well.    It  was  at  Murrieta,  California,  and  I  
don’t  know  anything  about  Murrieta,  California.  It's  total  foreign  
everything."  

Christian:    "This  could  have  been  the  best  or  the  worst  first  date  that  you've  
ever  been  on  in  your  life."  

Alicia:    "I  mean,  it  was  pretty  fun.    It  was  more  about  being  spontaneous,  
and  like  'Yeah,  I'll  go.    Sure.    Whatever.    You  know.    Great.'"  

Christian:    "That's  amazing.    Were  you  scared  at  all  at  any  point?-­‐"  

Alicia:    "Totally.    A  little  bit."  

Christian:    "...  I've  got  to  spend  time  with  this  guy.  Obviously,  we're  sitting  
here  together,  so  something  maybe  didn't  work,  or  maybe  it  did,  and  you're  
just  not  telling  him  about  this.    Bad  girl.    What  didn't  work?"  

Alicia:    "We  ended  up  being  totally  friends.    It  was  fine,  but  there  wasn't  the  
chemistry  to  date,  and  totally  had  a  fun  weekend.    It  was  fun."  

Christian:    "That's  awesome.    Would  you  do  that  again?"  

Alicia:    "Maybe  not  as  a  first  date."  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

Christian:    "I've  got  to  say  I'm  getting  this  idea  right  now.    We  could  take  
some  shots,  we  could  go  to  karaoke,  and  we  could  find  a  wedding  to  crash,  
and  wander  around,  and  be  those  drunken  party  revers  that  stumble  into-­‐"  

Alicia:    "Wedding  crashers."  

Christian:    "Yeah,  exactly.    Be  the  most  spontaneous  first  date,  except  for  
that  other  one,  but  this  will  be  even  a  little  bit  better."  

"Yeah,  I  like  that  idea,  so  if  you're  down  for  that,  then  I  say  let's  get  the  
shots  going  right  now.    I'm  just  kidding  but  a  drink  wouldn't  be  bad.    A  drink  
would  not  be  bad  at  all."    Anyway.    Maybe  something  like  that.  You  guys  
say  that  talked  about  my  story.    We  talked  a  little  bit  about  her  story.    We  
combined  stories.    Talked  about  how  spontaneous  she  was.      

I  wasn't  rushing  for  her  to  finish  her  story.    That's  always  a  great  way  very  
early  phase  of  first  dates  to  get  that  chemistry  going.    Build  this  common  
bridge  between  the  two  of  you.    That's  what  really  accelerates  a  connection  
on  the  date.    You  notice,  as  the  date  was  progressing,  or  as  that  
conversation's  progressing,  I  taking  the  opportunity  to  do  little  incidental  
touches.    I  think  that's  it  for  demos  for  this  section.    Let  me  see.    For  now  
we're  good.    I'll  bring  you  back  up  in  just  a  moment.  

Alicia:    Do  you  want  me  to  take  the  chair?  

Christian:    No,  you're  good.      

Alicia:      Okay.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

Christian:    Thank  you.    That's  that.    A  couple  of  other  things  to  say  and  do  
on  first  dates.    Some  fun  questions  to  ask  on  first  dates.    You  really  want  to  
get  the  girl  opening  up.    Did  you  ever  steal  anything  as  a  kid  and  get  in  
trouble  for  it?    That's  always  a  really  good  one.    You  guys  talk  about  that  for  
a  little  bit.    Did  you  steal  anything  for  a  kid.    I  stole  a  worm  when  I  was  kid  
from  a  bait  and  tackle  shop.      

It  was  a  fake  worm  that  was  black,  yellow.    I  always  talk  about  that  a  little  
bit.    Everybody  stole  something  as  a  kid.  Then  you  can  follow  on.    The  next  
great  question  for  that  is,  "Okay,  if  you  could  steal  anything  in  the  world  
right  now,  what  would  it  be?"    Then  you  guys  can  talk  about  what  you'd  
steal.      

Then  you  can  either  tease  her  for  what  she  would  steal  if  it's  silly.    "You'd  
steal  a  sandwich?"    That's  always  what  I  say.    I'm  like,  "I'd  probably  steal  a  
taco."    She's  like,  "A  taco?"    "Yeah.    I'd  steal  a  taco.    I'm  pretty  happy  with  
my  worldly  possessions,  but  I'm  a  little  hungry  right  now.    I'm  actually  
thinking  of  stealing  that  guy's  taco."    A  funny  way  to  answer  yourself.    You  
can  also  plan  a  heist  with  her.      

If  you've  got  something  that  you  want  to  steal,  or  she  has  something  that  
she  wants  to  steal,  you  can  create  this  future  reality.    "How  do  we  actually  
go  about  this?"    Then  you're  in  fantasy  land.    "Okay,  what  would  we  need  
to  actually  do  this?    We  have  to  dress  all  in  black.    I  don't  have  any  ninja  
experience.    Tough  word  to  say."      

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

You're  just  playing  The  Heist  with  her,  and  get  her  involved  with  it.    Talk  
about  that.    That's  a  great  question  to  ask.    Another  great  first  date  
question's  "What's  the  most  valuable  quality  in  a  friend?"    See  what  she  
says.    If  she  says  money,  probably  not  a  girl  who  you  want  to  date.    You  can  
ask  her  what  her  favorite  course  was  in  school.    That's  a  really,  really  good  
question.      

Obviously,  be  comfortable  talking  about  yours.    Finally,  "What  was  your  
favorite  hiding  place  as  a  kid?"    All  of  those  questions,  I  don't  know  the  
theory  exactly  behind  why  they  work,  but  they  lead  to  amazing  first  date  
conversations.    There's  that.    You  get  your  drinks.    You  guys  talk  with  each  
other.    It's  fun.  You  ask  her  your  questions.      

Now,  what's  the  next  step.  How  do  you  transition  out  of  drinks?    After  two  
drinks,  most  likely  you're  going  to  end  the  date.    You've  called  the  bar  
tender  over,  call  the  waiter  over,  "Let  me  get  the  check  please."    When  the  
check  comes,  let  it  sit  there  for  just  a  moment.    You're  not  going  to  make  
eye  contact  with  her.      

I'm  sorry,  you're  not  going  to  make  eye  contact  with  the  check.    The  check  
comes  down.    You're  still  talking  with  her.    You're  not  paying  attention  to  
the  check.    You  ignore  it  for  a  moment.    If  you  really  want  to  do  the  manly  
thing,  all  you're  going  to  do  is  slide  it  over,  take  a  quick  look,  pull  out  your  
credit  card,  stick  it  in,  slide  it  back,  and  continue  the  conversation.    You  
don't  have  to  do  that.    If  you  want  to,  you  can  say,  "You  want  to  split  this  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

one?"    or  you  can  pull  a,  "Next  round's  on  you,  right?"  or  "I'll  get  this  one,  
you  get  the  next?"      

Really  up  to  you  how  you  want  to  play  it  in  that  moment.    I  don't  like  to  
make  an  issue  of  money.    I  think  about  this.    To  give  you  guys  a  little  
context.    When  I  used  to  DJ,  I  was  always  really  sensitive  to,  "Is  this  song  
that  I'm  going  to  play  next  going  to  kill  the  mood,  or  is  it  going  to  keep  the  
mood  going?"    The  last  thing  you  want  to  do  when  people  are  dancing  is  kill  
the  mood.      

The  reason  I  don't  like  to  deal  with  money  on  the  date,  is  because  it  
introduces  a  logical  transactional  element  to  something  that  should  be  
romantic  and  emotional.    As  a  matter  of  not  wanting  to  deal  with  that  
change  of  vibe,  "Uh,  okay.    Just  take  care  of  it."    You  can  end  it  now.    You  
can  end  it  right  after  this.    It's  a  power  move.    You  can  be  like,  "All  right  I  got  
to  go."  

What  I  would  suggest  is  take  her  to  that  activity.    Take  her  to  skeeball.    Take  
her  dancing.    Do  whatever.    You're  going  to  create  some  sexual  tension.    
The  first  part  of  the  date  is  where  you've  built  a  connection,  you've  talked,  
you've  guys  have  opened  up  with  each  other.      

The  second  part  of  the  date  is  where  you  have  a  more  physical  activity,  and  
you  create  sexual  tension.    I  already  demonstrated  how  you  might  touch  
her  at  the  bar.    You  want  to  keep  up  with  that.    If  you  wouldn't  mind  joining  
me  again  here  Alicia.    You're  at  the  bar.    You're  talking  to  her.    As  the  
conversation  goes  on  what's  likely  to  happen  is  ...  Thank  you  for  doing  that.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

Alicia  crossed  her  legs  towards  me,  so  her  body  language  is  going  to  open  
up  a  little  bit.      

I  might  look  at  her  like  that.    I'm  not  looking  at  my  hand  as  I'm  touching  her,  
but  I  might  be  like,  "That's  the  funniest  thing  I've  ever  heard  in  the  world.    
You  love  donating  cats."    I  might  touch  her  there.    I  might  continue  to  touch  
her  here.    It's  going  to  be  light  and  incidental,  but  I'm  definitely  going  to  
keep  touching  her.    If  she's  into  you,  and  she's  feeling  it,  she's  going  to  start  
touching  you  back.    

She's  going  to  give  you  some  of  these.    She's  going  to  give  you  a  pat  on  the  
knee.    If  you're  getting  some  responsiveness  from  her  touch,  a  really  good  
sign.    It  doesn't  necessarily  mean  that  she's  not  feeling  you  if  she's  not  
giving  you  that.    If  she's  not  touching  you,  that's  not  a  bad  sign  per  se,  just  
could  mean  that  she's  not  comfortable  opening  up.      

Most  of  the  time  if  you're  touching  her,  and  she's  feeling  it,  like  that  sort  of  
stuff,  she'll  start  touching  back.    That's  what  you're  going  to  do  at  the  bar  
when  you're  having  that  first  conversation.    Let's  say  you're  on  the  way  to  
the  next  spot.    You're  going  to  get  up  and  leave  like,  "All  right.    Let's  go"  
blah,  blah,  blah.    You're  going  to  start  to  walk.    You're  going  to  do  that  
whole  grab  her  hand  thing  again.      

You're  going  to  be  like,  "Hey,  I  got  to  tell  you  something."    Lean  in.    This  is  
the  next  thing  you  might  do  as  you're  walking  out.    If  you're  going  to  
skeeball  let's  say.    Actually,  let's  step  back  so  I  can  keep  walking.      

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

We're  walking  to  skeeball  and  be  like,  "Hey.    I  got  to  tell  you  something.    I'm  
going  to  kick  your  butt  in  skeeball  right  now."    It  looks  like  I'm  about  to  go  
in  for  a  kiss,  but  I'm  going  to  be  a  little  competitive  in  that  moment.    "I'm  
going  to  kick  your  butt  in  skeeball  right  now."    She  might  laugh.    She  might  
do  that  sort  of  thing.    That's  going  to  ramp  that  sexual  tension  up  and  
create  that  moment  of  ...  That  little  spike  in  the  heart  rate.  for  now.    

Finally  ...  There  is  one  other  thing,  but  we'll  get  to  that  in  a  moment.    
Seeding  the  next  date.    How  do  you  plan  the  next  date  out  while  you're  on  
the  first  date.    My  whole  way  to  do  this  is  I'm  flirting  with  the  future.    I'm  
always  talking  about,  "Ah.    We've  got  to  go  do  this.    We've  got  to  eat  at  this  
place.    We've  got  to  check  this  thing  out."      

I'm  going  to  flirt  with  spots  that  I  might  want  to  go  to.    Artichoke  Pizza,  or  
my  favorite  burger  joint  in  town,  or  my  favorite  spot  for  sushi.    One  of  
those  things.    I  might  also  ...  If  I'm  living  a  very  active  social  life  at  the  time,  
I'm  going  to  probably  talk  about  cool  stuff  that  I've  got  coming  up  in  my  
week  and  month.      

There  would  be  times  when  I'd  be  like,  "Oh,  yeah.    I'm  having  a  party  on  
Friday.    What  do  you  got  going  on  this  week?"    It  naturally  comes  up.    
"What's  the  rest  of  your  week  look  like?"  Talk  about  cool  stuff  you're  doing.    
"I'm  going  sky  diving  on  Saturday.    I've  never  been."    By  the  way,  I  highly  
advise  sky  diving  if  you've  never  gone.      

You're  going  to  talk  about  cool  stuff  that  comes  up.    She  might  have  
indicated  an  interest  in  it.    You  can  always  be  like,  "Yeah,  I've  got  the  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

coolest  party  I'm  throwing  on  Friday.    Too  bad  you're  not  invited,  but  I'll  
send  you  some  pictures  from  it."    That's  flirting  with  the  future.    She's  going  
to,  "What?  I'm  not  invited?"    "I'm  just  teasing  you.    We'll  see."  

The  one  thing  I  would  say  is  if  you  guys  start  talking  about  each  others  
weeks,  and  she's  like  ...  This  definitely  has  been  me  at  various  points  in  the  
past,  is  that  girls  have  had  cool  shit  going  on  in  their  lives,  and  the  girl  I'm  
on  the  date  with  is  the  only  cool  shit  I  have  going  on  in  my  life.      

It's  easy  to  be  negative  and  not  talk  about  ...  She'd  be  like,  "Yeah,  I'm  going  
to  this  and  that.    Going  to  see  Avicci,  and  I'm  doing  ..."  She's  talking  about  
this  cool  shit.    "What  do  you  got  going  on?"    "Nothing."    Don't  be  a  Negative  
Nancy  if  you  don't  have  anything  cool  going  on  in  your  life.    First  thing  I'd  
say  is  get  some  cool  stuff  going  on  in  your  life.  

Second  thing  is,  if  she  does  ask,  be  like,  "Oh,  you  know  I'm  still  trying  to  
figure  out  my  plans  for  the  weekend.    The  buddies  and  I  are  talking  about  
whether  we  want  to  see  a  show,  go  see  a  game.    I'm  not  quite  sure  yet.    
Usually  play  things  a  little  bit  more  by  the  seat  of  my  pants."    Don't  be  a  
Negative  Nancy  if  you  don't  have  cool  stuff  going  on.    I  had  a  bullet  here,  
don't  pry  about  what's  going  on  in  her  week.      

Her  feeling  when  you're  asking,  "What's  going  on  in  your  week?"    She  
should  not  feel  like  he's  trying  to  lock  me  into  a  date  at  that  moment.    It's  
more  like  a  passing  interest.    Let's  say  we  hadn't  caught  up  ...  We're  
business  associates  and  we  haven't  caught  up  in  a  while,  and  the  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

conversation's  wrapping  up,  "So  man.    What  you  got  going  on  for  the  rest  
of  the  week?"      

We  know  that  we're  not  going  to  see  each  other  the  rest  of  the  week.    I'm  
curious  what  you're  doing.    That's  the  vibe  that  you  want  to  have  when  
you're  asking  her  about  what's  going  on  the  rest  of  the  week.    Ending  the  
date.    The  first  date.    As  I  said,  some  first  dates  will  end  in  sex.    How  do  you  
do  that?    Usually,  at  some  point  during  skeeball,  or  one  of  these  activities,  
you're  going  to  go  from  light  kissing,  to  heavier  kissing,  and  then  you're  
going  to  end  up  making  out.      

Making  out  might  be  pretty  extensive  you  guys  are  really  into  each  other.    
When  this  happens,  what  I've  traditionally  done  is  I'll  be  like  ...  We'll  be  
making  out  with  each  other.    Maybe  it'll  be  outside  the  bar.    Maybe  it's  in  
the  bar.      

I  look  her  right  in  the  eyes.    I'm  like,  "All  right.  Girl.    Got  to  get  you  home."    
That's  the  first  thing  I'll  say  is,  "All  right  Girl.    Got  to  get  you  home.    If  you're  
really  looking  for  it,  you'll  notice  that  she's  either  disappointed,  or  that  she  
excepts  it.    If  she's  like,  "Yeah.    You're  right"  then  cool.    She's  excepted  it.    
She  knows  she's  got  to  go  home.    Don't  push  it.    If  you're  like,  "All  right  Girl.      

Got  to  get  you  home"  and  she's  like,  "All  right."    You  get  this  little  sense  of  
maybe  she  doesn't  actually  want  to  go  home.    Then  you  can  look  at  her.    
You  can  make  out  a  little  bit  more.    You  can  be  like,  "All  right.    Look.    I  know  
one  more  really  cool  place  I  can  show  you,  and  that's  it."    She's  "Where  is  
it."    "Don't  worry.    It's  really  cool."        

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

Take  her  to  the  cab,  get  in  the  car.    Head  on  out.    That  line  "Don't  worry.    
It's  a  cool  spot."    That  seems  to  handle  99.9%  all  objections.    I  can't  believe  
that  it's  something  that  easy.    "Don't  worry  about  it.    I'll  show  you.    It's  
cool."    That's  how  you  would  get  her  in  the  cab  and  get  her  back  to  your  
place.      

As  you're  walking  up  to  your  place,  you'll  be  talking,  probably  making  out  a  
little  bit,  because  that's  really  what  the  vibe's  all  about.    You  get  out  of  the  
taxi.    I  guess  you're  not  going  to  be  making  out  if  your  in  a  car.    One  thing  
that  I'll  always  say  when  you're  going  up  to  your  place.    "All  right.    Two  
words.    Pillow  barrier.    We  are  not  having  sex  tonight.    Just  to  make  that  
clear."      

That  line  ...  It  diffuses  the  tension,  and  allows  her  to  enter  your  space  
without  feeling  like  you're  going  to  try  to  have  sex  with  her.    That's  one  way  
you  can  end  the  date.    Not  all  first  dates  end  in  that  soft  of  kissing,  and  
passion,  and  making  out.    In  fact,  very  few  of  my  first  dates  ever  end  that  
way.    Usually  they  end  another  way.    This  is  where  I  would  like  your  
assistance  again  to  demonstrate.      

This  is  where  you're  going  to  bring  the  mystery  back  in.    Most  guys  at  the  
end  of  the  first  date  they're  nervous.    They  want  to  go  for  the  kiss  because  
they  think  they  need  to.    They  think,  "I  need  to  lock  that  kiss  in,"  or  
something.    What  we're  going  to  do  instead  is  go  right  for  the  kiss  on  the  
cheek,  and  then  we're  going  to  look  at  her  in  the  eyes  and  be  like,  "All  right.    
This  is  great.    I  might  just  have  to  see  you  again  sometime."  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

If  you  wouldn't  mind  standing  right  there.    Watch  how  I  go  for  the  kiss  on  
the  cheek.    There's  no  indication  that  I'm  going  for  her  lips.    It's  like,  "All  
right,  well,  hey.    It's  great  to  see  ..."  Sorry,  me.    I'd  probably  grab  your  hands  
first.    "It  was  an  amazing  time  tonight.    Had  a  lot  of  fun."    See  how  I'm  
coming  in  really  wide.    "Amazing  time  tonight.    Great  to  see  you.    Might  just  
have  to  do  this  again  some  time."  

Something  like  that.    I'm  going  to  end  with,  "Might  just  have  to  do  this  
again  sometime."    That's  more  often  then  not  how  I'm  going  to  end  my  first  
date.    If  you  haven't  been  kissing  each  other  up  to  that  point,  then  that's  a  
great  way  to  end  that  first  date.    Finally,  I  had  ...  This  is  a  bullet.    Be  a  
fucking  gentleman.    If  you're  in  New  York.      

If  you're  in  a  place  where  there's  a  taxi,  put  her  in  the  taxi  first.    If  she  is  at  
your  house  for  some  reason,  walk  her  out  and  let  her  get  a  car.    If  you're  
driving  her  home,  drive  her  home.    Wait  until  she  walks  up  to  the  front  
door  and  gets  in  safely  before  you  drive  a  way.    Be  a  fucking  gentleman.    
That's  how  you're  going  to  end  your  first  date.      

The  texting  follow  up.    How  are  you  going  to  follow  up  from  that  first  date.    
First  thing  is  you  don't  want  to  overdo  it.    That's  a  big  mistake  guys  make.    
They're  like,  "I  had  a  great  first  date.    Really  into  this  girl."    They  start  
texting  her  like  she's  a  best  friend.    Don't  over  do  it.    Play  it  cool.    

Text  her  the  next  day  probably  with  some  call  back  humor.    Something  that  
you  referenced  the  night  before  like,  "I  can't  believe  I  got  my  butt  beat  in  
skeeball.    Totally  got  to  do  a  repeat  one  of  these  days  after  we  do  all  those  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE FIRST DATE

other  things  that  we  talked  about."    How  to  text  her.    I  have  this  five  step  
process  for  how  to  go  from  first  text  to  asking  her  out.    It's  not  worth  
sharing  here.    In  the  members  area  beneath  this  video  I'll  put  those  five  
texts.      

If  you're  watching  this  at  home,  there  somewhere  beneath  this  video.    
Finally,  I  would  say  keep  texting  multiple  girls  until  you're  either  sleeping  
with  one,  or  maybe  a  few  if  that's  your  thing.    Don't  think  that  because  you  
went  on  one  great  date,  with  one  girl,  that  everything  is  magically,  
amazingly  going  to  happen.    Again,  she  may  be  crazy.    She  may  have  an  ex.    
Something  may  come  up  between  the  two  of  you.    You  don't  know.    I  would  
say  keep  texting  multiple  girls  until  you  find  the  one  that  things  click  with.

 
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CHAPTER 19: THE SOCIAL DATE

This  date  is  what  I'd  call  Date  2.5,  works  great  if  you're  in  college,  it  can  
work  very  well  if  you  have  an  active  social  life.  This  is  what  I  call  the  "Social  
Date".  This  is  going  to  be  a  Friday  or  Saturday  get  together  with  friends.  If  
you  just  have  a  lot  of  friends  or  if  you're  just  very  active  person  in  your  life  
then  this  is  a  great  way  to  roll.  

You  don't  want  to  do  a  nightclub.  I  just  want  to  repeat  that.  Don't  take  a  girl  
to  a  nightclub  unless  you're  the  owner  of  the  nightclub  or  unless  you're  the  
lead  promoter  there.  The  whole  idea  beyond  the  social  date  is  just  basically  
invite  her  out  with  all  your  buddies,  with  all  the  people  who  you  know  to  
something  that  that  you're  going  to  enjoy.  

There's  a  lot  of  stuff  you  can  get  wrong  on  the  social  date  so  here's  a  little  
checklist.  Before  you  invite  a  girl  to  a  social  date,  these  are  the  things  that  
should  be  in  place.  First  of  all,  you  should  have  very  high  social  value  
wherever  you're  going.  It  should  be  a  scene  that  you've  created  or  that  
you're  elevated  member  of.  If  she  sees  you  getting  tooled  by  a  bunch  of  
other  guys,  like  forget  it,  all  the  work  you  put  in,  no  good.    

It  should  be  a  pretty  big  group  and  a  big  activity.  It  shouldn't  be  a  double  
date  with  your  best  friend  and  his  long  term  girlfriend.  It  should  be  a  bigger  
group,  maybe  10  guys,  10  girls.  You're  all  getting  together  to  watch  the  
game  something  like  that.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE SOCIAL DATE

Your  friends  should  make  you  look  good.  You  should  know  going  in,  you  
should  tell  them,  "Yo,  I'm  bringing  a  girl  who  I  really  like.  You  guys  got  to  
stump  for  me."  Just  make  sure  your  friends  are  going  to  make  you  look  
good  and  they're  not  in  the  habit  of  tooling  you.  

She  should  already  have  indicated  interest  in  it.  We  talked  earlier  on  the  
first  date  about  seating  the  future.  Talking  about  other  things  that  you've  
got  going  on  in  your  day,  your  week.  This  is  going  to  be  a  common  thing  
that  comes  up  in  conversation  and  so  you're  going  to  invite  her  to  this  if  she  
already  knows  about  it.  You're  not  just  going  to  hit  her  up  out  of  the  blue,  
be  like,  "Yo,  all  my  friends  are  going  to  watch  the  game  tonight  do  you  want  
to  come?"  

Finally  if  you  two  have  very  solid  repertoire.  If  you  still  haven't  really  moved  
things  along  at  this  point.  If  you're  not  kissing  each  other  at  this  point,  
maybe  not  do  it.  

I'm  not  going  to  tell  you  exactly  what  to  do.  This  a  very  short  segment,  I'll  
just  give  you  a  few  mechanics.  One  of  them  is  you  want  to  make  sure  that  
she's  taken  care  of  but  you  don't  want  to  overwhelm  her.  When  you  get  her  
in,  introduce  her  to  some  people,  get  her  a  drink  but  don't  just  hover  over  
her  the  whole  night  and  try  to  be  the  guy  that  protects  her  from  everything.  

Leave  her  to  talk  to  your  friends  while  you  go  and  talk  to  some  people.  If  
you  know  you've  got  a  friend  or  two  who  are  particularly  cool  and  social,  
just  leave  her  to  talk  to  them  and  then  you  go  and  enjoy  yourself.  I'm  not  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE SOCIAL DATE

saying  leave  her  forever  but  leave  her  for  5,  10  minutes.  Just  trust  that  that  
she's  okay  talking  to  your  friends.    

Make  connections  between  your  friends  and  her.  Definitely  bring  other  
friends  over,  be  like,  "Hey,  this  is  Alicia.  You  haven't  met  her  yet.  Yeah,  
she's  been  hanging  out  for  a  little  bit.  Alicia,  this  is  so  and  so."  Just  
constantly  be  making  connections  and  if  one  of  your  friends  has  something  
in  common  with  her.    

Alicia's  an  actress  if  I  had  an  actress  I'd  be  like,  "Hey,  she's  an  actress  too,  
you  guys  got  to  talk.  I  think  you've  been  on  set  together"  or  whatever  I'm  
going  to  say.  I  wouldn't  say  that.  "Oh,  you  guys  are  both  actresses,  I'm  sure  
you  both  frustrated  but  love  your  job  every  single  minute  of  it."  

You  can  also  get  to  do  stuff  for  you.  If  you're  at  the  bar,  maybe  you  got  the  
first  drink,  you  can  be  like,  "Oh  hey,  would  you  mind  going  and  grabbing  the  
next  round?"  If  you  really  want  to  do  this  the  right  way  you're  going  to  whip  
out  $20  from  your  pocket  and  give  it  her  to  actually  go  get  the  drinks  and  
not  ask  her  to  pay  for  it  but  you're  going  to  have  her  do  the  work  of  going  
to  get  it.  

You  can  also  give  her  what  I'd  call  the  "Girlfriend  Experience".  If  you  
wouldn't  mind  joining  me  for  a  moment.  Let's  say  you're  talking  to  your  
buddy  and  she's  standing  here,  you  might  just  every  now  and  then  put  your  
hand  behind  her  and  be  just  talking  to  her,  talking  your  buddy  like  this  
while  your  hanging  out  with  her.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE SOCIAL DATE

You  might  put  your  hand  around  shoulder  and  just  be  talking  like  this.  It's  
not  going  to  be  for  too  long  but  these  are  things  that  you  definitely  would  
not  do  with  a  girl  who  wasn't  your  girlfriend.  

It's  like  the  two  of  you  now  all  of  a  sudden  are  this  team  who  are  
interacting  with  the  world.  Your  buddy's  talking  and  it's  like,  "Oh  yeah,  it's  
really  interesting."  May  be  let's  turn  around.  May  be  while  your  buddy  is  
talking  and  you’re  gently  rubbing  her  back  a  little  bit.    

You're  introducing  and  sneaking  in  little  ways  of  being  sexual  and  physical  
with  her  while  you're  there.  Then  depending  on  the  connection  you  guys  
have,  may  be  you  just  end  up  back  at  your  apartment.  

That  is  a  social  date.  Again,  not  a  whole  lot  to  it.  Just  invite  her  out  if  you  
think  you're  going  to  look  good  in  the  room.  Be  cool,  treat  her  like  your  
girlfriend  but  just  don't  overwhelm  her  and  this  could  be  a  very,  very,  very  
effective  way  to  bridge  a  connection.  Again  if  you're  seen  in  a  good  light  in  
this  environment  just  an  awesome  time  for  the  girl.    

That  is  that.  The  next  date  we'll  talk  about  is  what  I  call  the  "Sex  Date".  It's  
where  you  have  sex.  Not  quite  the  third  date  because  the  second  date,  this  
is  the  second  and  a  half  date,  those  could  be  all  third  dates.  This  is  the  sex  
date  so  we'll  get  into  that  one  momentarily.

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE SEX DATE

CHAPTER 20: THE SEX DATE

We  come  to  the  sex  date,  the  date  where  you  do  the  deed  with  her  or  at  
least  get  somewhat  sexual  with  her  if  that’s  not  your  thing.  What  are  the  
mechanics  of  it?  It’s  going  to  be  dinner  and  a  movie  at  your  place.  That’s  
the  way  to  go  into  it.    

What  is  the  dinner  you’re  going  to  cook?  Something  fairly  light,  because  as  
usual  you  don’t  want  a  big  belly  full  of  pork  belly  when  you’re  rolling  
around  in  the  sack.  A  great  dish  would  be  like  salmon  with  angel  hair  pasta,  
that’s  just  a  huge  winner.  If  you’re  a  good  cook  you  can  play  around  with  
other  stuff.  

After  the  dinner  dish,  what’s  the  movie?  I  would  always  say  either  
“Ratatouille”  or  “Despicable  Me.”  Those  are  just  amazing  movies,  they  say  
so  much.  When  I  talk  about  “Ratatouille”  I  can  talk  about  how  I  love  the  
creativity  of  the  characters,  how  I  love  the  fact  that  it  celebrates  striking  
out  on  your  own  and  fighting  against  the  odds,  and  following  your  dream.    

“Ratatouille”  is  honestly  one  of  my  favorite  movies.  “Despicable  Me”  is  
another  good  one.  Because  you’re  not  actually  going  to  be  watching  the  
movie,  you’re  just  going  to  put  it  on  in  the  background  so  that  you  can  
make  out  with  her.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE SEX DATE

Before  she  arrives,  I  shouldn’t  have  to  say  this  but  why  not,  take  a  fucking  
shower.  Clean  up.  Just  make  sure  you  look  good  and  you’re  clean,  
whatever,  when  she’s  there.    

When  she  arrives,  what  are  you  going  to  do?  You’ve  kissed  a  lot  at  this  
point.  You  guys  have  kissed  a  lot.  She’s  going  to  show  up,  it’s  going  to  be  a  
real  passionate  embrace,  right?  She  comes  to  your  door,  “Hey,  good  to  see  
you,”  and  just  allow  yourself  to  enjoy  her  embrace  for  a  little  bit.  Really  just  
create  a  little  space  right  there  for  you  to  experience  the  physicality  of  the  
moment.  Make  it  a  deep  kiss,  make  it  a  short  kiss,  come  in  and  out  of  the  
kiss,  just  enjoy  this  kiss.      

She  comes  in  the  house,  “Oh,  sorry,  do  you  mind  taking  your  shoes  off?”  
Just  make  sure  her  shoes  are  off;  just  make  sure  your  shoes  are  off.  The  
next  big  thing,  this  is  always  great,  is  having  some  champagne.  They  sell  
half  bottles  of  champagne.  You’re  probably  not  going  to  have  champagne  
for  dinner,  you’re  probably  going  to  want  to  have  white  whine  for  dinner,  
but  champagne  is  a  great  way  to  start.    

They  sell  these  half  bottles,  and  what  you  can  do  is  basically  you  know,  
“Hey,  come  on  in,  let’s  get  a  drink  going.”  You  open  the  fridge,  you  pop  the  
half  bottle  of  champagne,  and  that  should  cover  about  a  full  glass  for  each  
of  you  or  maybe  a  little  bit  more.  It’s  that  popping  of  the  champagne,  
there’s  something  sort  of  hypnotic  about  that.  Or  not  hypnotic,  that’s  not  
the  right  word.  It’s  a  trigger  for  people.  It’s  like  it  triggers,  “Oh,  this  is  going  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE SEX DATE

to  be  a  celebration.”  Love  to  start  the  sex  date  with  a  half  bottle  of  
champagne.    

Finally,  once  you  have  your  champagne  in  your  hand  you’re  going  to  be  like,  
“We’ll  cook  in  a  second,  but  we  need  some  music  for  the  date.  Let’s  go  pick  
some  music  together.”  She’ll  say  okay,  and  this  is  where  I  could  use  you  for  
a  demo.  

Some  people,  I  think,  like  Diet  Coke  as  much  as  they  like  champagne.  This  
will  be  mine.  What  we’re  going  to  do  is  we’re  going  to  make  our  way  over  
to  the  computer,  and  the  computer  should  only  have  one  chair  in  front  of  
it.  Forget  the  fact  that  this  chair  is  here.  We’re  going  to  make  our  way  over  
to  the  computer,  and  I’m  going  to  sit  down  and  I’m  going  to  say,  “All  right,  
let’s  make  a  playlist.”  You’re  going  to  be  like,  “What?  How?”  and  I’m  going  
to  be  like,  “C’mon,  have  a  seat.”    

She’s  going  to  have  a  seat  and  we’re  going  to  start  working  on  the  
computer  together.  We’re  going  to  scroll  through  the  songs  and  she’s  going  
to  be  into  it,  I  would  expect.  She’s  going  to  be  like,  “Oh,  this  looks  great,”  
and,  “I  love  Coldplay.”  So  you  guys  talk  about  your  music.    

This  is  a  great  moment  to  kiss,  obviously.  You  don’t  have  to  be  focused  on  
the  music  the  whole  time,  you  can  be  sitting  here  and  you  can  be  looking  at  
her,  you  can  be  kissing  her.  You  can  be  going  back  to  the  music  like,  “Sorry,  
I  just  forgot  about  what  we  were  looking  at,”  and  then  you  get  focused  on  
her  and  you  start  kissing  her.  All  right,  thank  you  very  much.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE SEX DATE

You  create  a  playlist  together  while  you  two  are  just,  you  know,  while  you  
two  are  there,  and  you’re  not  …  This  is  the  key  point.  This  date  is  all  about  
sensuality,  so  don’t  be  so  goal-­‐oriented  that  you’re  just  trying  to  get  sex,  
don’t  be  so  goal-­‐oriented  that  you’re  just  trying  to  push  through  it.  Allow  
yourself  to  just  experience  whatever’s  happening  in  that  moment.  If  you  
get  lost  in  her  eyes,  if  she  gets  lost  in  yours,  make  out  for  a  little  bit.  Enjoy  
it.  If  that’s  not  happening,  then  move  on.  Get  the  playlist  going  and  then  go  
cook  the  food.    

You’ve  got  the  playlist  going,  she’s  sitting  on  your  lap,  you  guys  have  made  
out  a  little  bit  –  now  you’re  going  to  cook.  This  is  really  important:  You’ve  
got  to  cook  together.  Do  not  just  cook  while  she  sits  there  and  watches  you.  
I  made  that  mistake  in  my  early  twenties  quite  often,  out  of  chivalry,  and  
the  girl  just  sits  there  bored  as  shit  while  she  watches  you  cook.  Involve  her,  
get  her  doing  stuff.  “Hey,  can  you  boil  the  pasta?  Can  you  get  the  water?  
Can  you  chop  the  vegetables?”  Whatever  it  is.    

While  you’re  cooking,  flirt  and  kiss.  This  is  a  great  opportunity.  You  guys  are  
moving  around  together,  you  can  come  up  behind  her,  sniff  her  neck,  give  
her  a  little  kiss.  I  love  this  bullet  point,  Evan:  Smack  her  with  a  clean  spatula  
or  spoon.  That  is  fun.  It’s  flirty.  You  pick  up  your  little  spatula  and  you  kind  
of  like  give  her  a  little  smack,  “That’s  not  how  you  do  it,”  give  her  a  little  
smack  on  the  ass.  Take  moments  to  make  out.    

Have  her  make  the  table.  You  should  be  the  one  who’s  finishing  the  dinner,  
say,  “Hey,  can  you  set  the  table?”  Have  her  go  set  the  table.  Then  you’re  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE SEX DATE

going  to  bring  in—she’ll  sit  down  and  then  you’re  going  to  serve  here  
dinner,  you’re  going  to  make  sure  that  she  has  some  wine,  and  then  you’re  
going  to  just  have  dinner.  You’re  going  to  enjoy  each  other’s  company  and  
you’re  going  to  talk.    

What  you  talk  about  on  this  date,  I’m  not  going  to  tell  you  what  to  talk  
about  on  this  date.  By  now  you  guys  have  good  chemistry.  If  you  can’t  talk  
with  the  girl  on  this  date,  you—if  you  can’t  talk  to  the  girl  then  you  haven’t  
gotten  to  this  point.  Whatever  you  guys  want  to  talk  about.    

How  do  you  wrap  up,  how  do  you  move  to  the  next  step?  Usually  you  can  
reintroduce  sexuality  by  bringing  it  back  into  the  kitchen.  One  of  the  things  
that  we  talked  about  was  strawberries  and  chocolate  is  a  great  way  to  
move  back  into  the  kitchen,  or  whipped  cream  and  berries.  

Yeah,  so  dessert  is  whipped  cream  and  berries.  That’s  a  great  one,  because  
you  can  spray  her  with  whipped  cream  or  you  can  spray  it  on  your  finger  
and  touch  her  nose  with  it,  like  kiss  her.  It  just  creates  a  great  opportunity  
to  bring  sexuality  back  after  you  guys  have  been  eating  and  separated  from  
each  other.  

Another  thing  that  …  This  has  been  just  something  that  I  find  is  fun  to  do  is  
when  you’re  in  the  kitchen  and  you’re  making  out  with  her,  kind  of  prop  
her  up  on  the  counter  so  her  legs  are  spread  and  you  kind  of  almost  push  
yourself  in  between  her  legs,  and  continue  to  kiss  her  in  that  position.    

 
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If  it’s  getting  really  hot  and  heavy  in  that  position,  you  can  actually  at  that  
point  just  lift  her  up  and  pull  her  legs  around  you,  and  walk  her  to  the  
couch  or  walk  her  to  the  bed  and  just  like  you  know,  toss  her  down  and  …  
We’ll  get  to  that  in  a  second.    

Depending  on  how  sexy  it’s  getting  at  that  point,  you  may  not  even  have  to  
get  to  the  movie.  It  may  just  be  dinner  and  then  you  guys  are  loving  the  
pleasure  of  each  other’s  sexual  companionship  so  much  that  it  just  
continues  from  there.    

I  want  to  pause  for  a  second  and  talk  about  some  things  that  should  be  in  
place  at  your  place,  some  things  that  will  make  this  all  easier.  First  of  all,  
good  lighting.  If  you  don’t  have  good  lighting  at  your  place,  get  some  
dimmer  switches.  You  should  not  have  shockingly  bright  light.  That  is  really  
unseductive.    

Having  some  books,  souvenirs  or  artwork  that  mean  something  to  you.  
When  she  comes  into  your  place  she  is  going  to  be  looking  around  for  hints  
of  your  character.  If  there’s  a  couple  of  books  that  have  affected  you  in  
your  life  or  changed  you,  have  those  kind  of  out  in  the  middle  of  the  
bookshelf.  Have  some  souvenirs  in  place  that  you’ve  visited,  maybe  some  
artwork.  

One  thing  that  we  had  at  our  apartment  for  ages,  I  talked  about  sextrology,  
that  was  a  huge  one,  another  big  one  was  a  photo  book.  We  had  this  photo  
book  by  an  artist  named  David  LaChapelle,  you  might  know  him.  There’s  

 
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these  big  photo  books,  they’re  made  by  a  company  called  Taschen.  This  
company,  all  they  do  is  make  big  photography  books.    

Actually,  something  like  this,  if  I  can  grab  this.  Taschen  did  not  make  this  
and  this  is  not  what  I  would  pick,  but  I  am  not  a  designer  or  an  architect.  
This  is  like  the  size  of  the  book  that  you  want.  The  point  of  having  a  book  
like  this  is  that  it  lets  her  focus  on  something  when  she’s  sitting  down  or  it  
gives  her  something  to  just  look  at  in  the  meantime  when  those  little  gaps  
between  conversations  or  whatever  is  happening.    

You  don’t  want  to  have  like  totally  dirty  erotic  photography.  The  reason  we  
love  David  LaChapelle  is  his  stuff  is  really  edgy  and  it’s  definitely  erotic,  but  
it’s  still  incredibly  artistic.  Again,  David  LaChapelle,  “Heaven  or  Hell,”  that  
was  the  one  we  had.  Find  some  photography  that  you  like  and  get  a  photo  
book.    

Obviously  having  wine  and  champagne  at  your  place,  you  got  to  have  that.  
If  you  don’t  have  wine  and  champagne,  shame  on  you  as  a  single  man.  A  
hookah  can  be  nice  too.  Some  guys  I  know  love  hookahs.  I  smoked  the  
hookah  way  too  much  and  I  think  it  caused  me  to  develop  asthma,  so  I  
don’t  use  a  hookah  anymore  but  it  was  great  to  have  during  the  time.    

Some  other  things  that  you  can  have:  A  comfy  blanket  and  pillows.  Your  
bed  should  be  amazing.  It  should  be  so  comfortable  to  sleep  in,  a  down  or  
synthetic  down  mattress  pad.  If  somebody  can  just  kind  of  sink  into  your  
sheets  and  want  to  stay  there,  you’ve  got  the  right  set  on  the  bed.  Amazing  
sheets,  yeah,  I  got  that.    

 
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Wygant  talked  about  this,  a  girl-­‐friendly  bathroom.  No  pubes  strung  around  
the  toilet.  Let’s  go  a  few  steps  further.  Let’s  have  a  few  fluffy  towels  that  
you  just  keep  nearby  or  keep  in  your  linen  closet,  a  few  fluffy  towels  that  
she  can  use  after  a  shower.  You’ve  got  soap.  You’ve  got  clean  hand  towels.  
You’ve  got  some  girl-­‐friendly  soap  in  your  shower.  Like,  your  shower  
doesn’t  just  consist  of  Axe.  Please.  Please.    

Finally,  a  few  other  big  things:  Clocks  in  the  bedroom,  get  rid  of  them.  Use  
your  iPhone.  Don’t  keep  a  clock  in  the  bedroom.  If  she  can  see  what  time  it  
is  when  you’re  in  the  passionate  heat  of  the  moment  you  don’t  want  to  be  
reminded  of  what  time  it  is,  you  want  to  lose  yourself  in  passion,  so  no  
clocks.    

No  fucking  “Gladiator”  posters.  Like,  get  out  of  college.  No  “Gladiator”  
posters,  no  Miller  Lite  posters,  none  of  that  shit.  Get  some  real  artwork.  
You’re  a  grown  man.  No  messes.  Keep  your  place  clean.  

Do  you  have  to  do  all  this  stuff?  No.  One  of  my  buddies,  Wax,  his  place  is  a  
total  mess,  total  disaster,  he  still  hooks  up  with  girls.  Do  you  have  to  do  all  
that  stuff?  No,  but  girls  really  like  it.    

All  right,  back  to  the  movie.  It  might  not  get  to  the  point  where  you  have  to  
even  watch  the  movie,  but  if  it  does  how  do  you  do  it?  David  DeAngelo  said  
it  best:  “Two  steps  forward,  one  step  back.”  Every  sexual  advance  you  make  
you’re  going  to  push  forward  a  little  bit  and  then  you’re  going  to  step  back.  
Push  forward,  step  back.    

 
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You  don’t  ever  want  to  push  sexuality  on  her  full,  whole  hog.  Just  a  little  bit  
of  sexuality,  step  back.  Kiss  her,  step  back.  Smell  her  neck,  step  back.  Make  
out  a  little  bit,  step  back.  Touch  her,  then  go  back  to  kissing.  Touch  her  
some  more,  kiss  her  some  more.  Touch  her  in  very  private  places,  then  stop  
touching  her  in  private  places  and  start  touching  her  on  safe  places.  Two  
steps  forward,  one  step  back.      

How  are  you  going  to  actually  get  to  a  kiss  when  you’re  sitting  on  a  couch?  
What  I  would  suggest  is  positioning  yourself  closer  to  the  screen.  In  this  
apartment,  the  screen  is  right  here.  People  on  camera  can’t  see  that,  but  
we  can  here.  If  we  were  sitting  on  that  couch  I  would  want  to  be  …  Let’s  
just  say  we  were  sitting  right  here,  the  camera’s  right  there.  I  want  to  be  on  
this  side,  so  that  her  eyes  have  to  cross  me  to  get  to  the  screen.    

That’s  the  key.  I  don’t  want  to  be  over  here,  because  then  for  her  to  get  
attention  on  me  I  have  to  actually  grab  her  attention.  When  I’m  sitting  
here,  her  attention’s  already  on  me,  sort  of  passively.  Anything  I  do,  any  
move  I  make  is  just  going  to  be  a  matter  of  turning  my  head  and  looking,  
and  she’s  already  looking  in  the  same  direction.  If  I’m  sitting  over  here,  I’ve  
got  to  like  call  her  attention  this  way  and  be  like,  “Hey,  I  want  to  kiss  you.”  
So  position  yourself  closer  to  the  screen.  

At  this  point  it’s  really  simple.  You  can  start  …  Actually,  if  you  wouldn’t  
mind  joining  us  here.  Let’s  say  that  we’re  sitting  on  the  couch,  the  couch  
kind  of  looks  like  this,  and  we’re  into  each  other  and  it’s  all  going  well.  I’m  
just  going  to  start  by  going  like  this,  maybe  scratching  her  hair  like  this,  and  

 
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she’s  looking  this  way  because  she’s  watching  “Ratatouille”  and  she’s  loving  
it.  I’m  just  going  to  look  at  her  like  this,  look  back,  look  at  her.    

We’re  going  to  keep  making  eye  contact,  and  eventually  with  the  eye  
contact  or  the  scratching,  I’m  probably  just  going  to  lean  in  and  go  straight  
for  the  kiss.  It’s  just  like  this,  and  then  just  go  straight  for  the  kiss.  You  don’t  
need  to  make  a  big  deal  out  of  it.  If  she’s  sitting  there,  if  she’s  next  to  you,  
of  she’s  been  kissing  you  up  to  this  point,  trust  me  she  wants  to  take  it  
further.  It’s  just  that  simple  positioning  yourself  close  to  the  TV,  the  
scratching  of  the  hair,  and  then  lean  in  and  go  for  the  kiss.  Thank  you  very  
much.    

Once  you  move  beyond  the  kiss,  you  can  begin  touching  her  around  the  
waist.  That’s  the  next  spot  that  you’re  going  to  start  to  get  sexual.  Then  
you’re  going  to  touch  her  there,  you’re  going  to  kind  of  move  up  the  back  
of  her  shirt  and  then  see  where  your  hands  end  up  on  the  front  of  her  shirt.  
I’m  going  to  assume  that  you  guys  kind  of  know  where  to  go  from  there.  
Again,  I  would  just  say  two  steps  forward  one  step  back.    

You  can  guide  her  hands  onto  you.  That’s  one  key  point,  is  I  would  say  if  
she’s  just  not  been  touching  with  her  hands  you  can  guide  her  hands  onto  
you.  You  can  put  them  first  on  your  stomach,  first  on  your  legs,  and  then  as  
it  starts  to  ramp  up  you  can  put  her  hands  on  other  parts  of  your  body  that  
you  would  like  touched.    

How  do  you  ramp  up  the  sexuality?  I  just  have  a  very  simple  concept  to  
think  of  it:  tough  and  tender.  Tough  and  tender.  It’s  like  sort  of  the  yin  and  

 
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yang  of  sexual  tension.  We  talked  yesterday  about  pushing  a  girl  up  against  
the  wall,  being  really  dominant,  and  then  just  pulling  back  and  very  
seductively  looking  at  her  in  the  eye.  Another  thing  that  is  great  is  you’re  on  
the  couch  or  maybe  you’re  in  the  kitchen,  you  pick  her  up  over  your  
shoulder  and  like  …  Trust  me,  this  is  really  fun  if  you’ve  never  done  it  
before.    

You  pick  a  girl  up  over  your  shoulder,  and  you  just  walk  into  the  bedroom  
and  you  throw  her  on  the  bed,  like  real  powerful.  Make  sure  her  head’s  not  
going  to  hit  anything,  but  throw  her  on  the  bed  and  then  just  kind  of  a  jolt,  
and  then  you  kind  of  jump  on  and  you’re  very,  very  tender  at  that  point.  
You  just  go  back  to  caressing  her  and  gently  kissing  her.  So  yeah,  that’s  the  
tough  and  tender  dance.  I’ll  leave  it  up  to  your  imaginations  to  figure  out  
what  fantastic  ways  you  want  to  share  that  with  a  woman.    

A  lot  of  guys  at  this  point  are  just  going  to  want  to  get  …  It’s  like,  “All  right,  
sex  time.”  I  can’t  blame  you,  but  I  would  just  say  slow  it  down  and  
remember  what  we  said.  The  goal  is  to  ramp  up  the  sexual  tension  and  wait  
til  she  wants  it  most.  The  goal  is  to  turn  her  on.  The  goal  is  not  to  get  sex.  
The  goal  is  to  turn  her  on,  so  go  slow.  This  is  not  a  course  about  sexuality.  
There  are  some  great  courses.  Alex,  who  we  heard  from  yesterday,  has  an  
amazing  course  about  sexuality.  

A  few  simple  things:  Give  her  pleasure  first.  I  always  like  to  think  that’s  a  
nice  thing  to  do.  When  it  is  time  to  have  sex,  I  would  say  go  when  she  
wants  it  most,  when  she’s  just  like  …  You  can  feel  it  in  her  body  when  she’s  

 
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almost  begging  you  for  it.  Not  the  first  moment  it’s  available.  Sometimes  
her  underwear  will  come  off,  the  bra  comes  off,  you  guys  are  naked,  it’s  
possible  you  could  do  it  right  there.  Just  wait.  Wait  five  minutes,  10  
minutes,  15  minutes,  20  minutes.  Just  enjoy  being  physical  and  sensual  
with  each  other.    

If  she’s  not  sure  but  you  are.  That’s  the  name  of  the  slide.  This  isn’t  
something  that  always  will  come  up,  but  certainly  it  does  sometimes.  Here  
are  some  words  to  say.  This  is  the  spirit  of  how  you  would  say  these  words,  
you’re  welcome  to  ad  lib,  and  I  hope  you  feel  them  if  you  say  them  to  a  girl.    

You  might  say  something  like,  “Look,  it’s  pretty  clear  that  we  have  amazing  
sexual  chemistry,  and  I’m  just  enjoying  being  here  with  you  right  now.  I  
want  to  make  you  feel  amazing.  If  you’re  not  comfortable,  if  you’re  not  
feeling  the  same  way  or  you  just  want  to  slow  down,  like  I  said,  I’m  just  
enjoying  being  here  with  you.”  

What  you’re  doing  with  your  words  is  you’re  making  it  about  the  moment  
and  about  the  sensuality,  not  about  the  goal  of  having  sex.  “I’m  just  
enjoying  being  here  with  you.  I  want  to  make  you  feel  amazing  however,  
whatever  form  that  takes.  If  we  have  sex,  we  do.  If  we  don’t,  we  don’t.  I’m  
just  enjoying  this  moment  right  now.”  That  will  reassure  her  that  your  goal  
is  not  just,  you  know,  have  sex  and  then  get  out  the  door.  

How  do  you  have  sex?  Once  again,  I  would  assume  that  you’ve  been  
biologically  programmed  to  know  how  to  have  sex  so  I’m  not  going  to  get  
too  much  into  that.  If  you  can,  make  it  amazing  for  her.  Wear  a  condom.  I  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE SEX DATE

shouldn’t  have  to  say  that,  but  just  like  showering  some  people  will  forget  
to  do  it.  Wear  a  condom,  please.    

After  sex  it’s  great  if  you  can  go  get  a  towel  or  like  a  damp  warm  cloth  to  
help  her  wipe  off  if  any  fluids  managed  to  get  anywhere.  Get  her  some  
water  as  well.  This  is  a  very  simple  but  overlooked  thing,  just  bring  some  
water  to  bed  when  you  go  get  the  towel.  You  can  touch  her  and  gently  
blow  on  her  when  you  guys  are  in  the  afterglow  moment.  Just  like  blow  on  
her  chest,  just  very  gently,  just  blow  some  cool  air  on  her  chest.    

Maybe  it’s  time  for  a  shower  at  that  point.  Maybe  it’s  time  to  have  sex  
again.  I  don’t  presume  to  tell  you  guys  how  you  should  have  your  sex  lives.  
She  might  leave  that  night.  If  she  does,  by  all  means  walk  her  to  a  cab  or  
walk  her  to  her  car  or  whatever  it  is  that  you  have  to  walk  her  to.  If  she  
doesn’t  and  she  stays  over,  fantastic.  It’s  not  necessary,  but  it’s  amazing  if  
you  can  cook  for  her  the  morning  after.    

If  she  is  coming  over  and  you  do  have  your  fridge  stocked  with  that  
champagne  and  that  salmon,  in  that  same  shopping  run  you  might  want  to  
grab  some  tea  and  you  might  want  to  grab  some  eggs,  you  might  want  to  
grab  some  greens.  This  is  not  like  …  Again,  don’t  let  me  tell  you  how  to  live  
your  life,  but  I  think  in  general  it’s  better  to  cook  a  real  healthy  breakfast  
and  have  a  girl  leave  your  place  feeling  really  good  and  light  and  energetic  
than  to  overload  her  with  sausage,  and  bacon,  and  pancakes,  and  waffles  
and  all  that.  That’s  up  to  you.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM THE SEX DATE

That  right  there  leads  us  through  the  inspection  phase.  That’s  going  
through  the  dating  process.  As  her  investment  increases,  as  the  sexual  
tension  increases,  that’s  inspection  right  there  guys.    

Now  you’re  sleeping  with  the  girl.  Let  me  summarize  some  of  the  big  ideas  
from  inspection:  Be  a  cool  leader  of  your  own  life  and  bring  her  into  it  if  
she’s  a  good  fit.  That’s  really  how  I  think  about  the  inspection  phase.  Give  
her  the  gift  of  wondering  about  you.  Boy,  we’ve  never  heard  that  before.  
Play  it  cool.  Don’t  rush  it.  Let  your  intention  be  felt,  not  spoken.  Live  in  the  
moment  and  flirt  with  the  future.  

Finally,  follow  this  process.  Her  investment  will  continue  to  rise,  the  process  
works.  Not  shocking,  you  go  on  a  few  dates  and  you  kiss  a  little  bit,  you  
might  end  up  in  bed  together.  If  you  are  an  obsession  worthy  man  and  
you’ve  cultivated  the  traits  that  we  talked  about  yesterday,  then  this  thing  
is  going  to  go  pretty  damn  easy  for  you.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTIMACY

CHAPTER 21: INTIMACY

We  come  to  the  final  phase  of  this  course,  which  is  intimacy.  This  is  the  two  
to  six  week  period  where  you  go  from  dating  each  other  to  being  official.  In  
this  phase,  what's  happening  is  she's  becoming  very  invested  in  you.  

She  associates  good  emotions  with  you  and  she's  feeling  like  the  woman  
she  always  wanted  to  feel  like  with  the  man  who  she  always  wanted  to  be  
with.  She  feels  listened  to,  she  feels  desired  like  she  found  something  that  
she's  been  missing.  She's  starting  to  wonder  to  herself,  is  he  too  good  to  be  
true?  That  is  intimacy.    

There  is  some  do's  and  do  not  do's  in  this  phase,  so  start  off  by  saying,  
"Don't  do  what  Donny  Don't  does."  Simpsons  reference  right  there.  Don't  
assume  she's  your  girlfriend.  Very  first  thing  I  would  say.  Do  not  assume  
she's  your  girlfriend  just  because  you  guys  went  on  date  or  even  because  
you  guys  had  sex.    

Do  not  assume  she's  your  girlfriend.  Do  not  make  your  problems  her  
problems.  In  the  past,  I've  been  in  this  phase  and  got  shit  going  in  my  life,  I  
just  start  to  open  up  to  a  girl.  It's  therapy  hour.  Don't  do  that.  Don't  assume  
that  you  get  to  spend  every  night  with  her.  That's  not  going  to  happen  for  a  
long  time,  my  friend.  Don't  assume  you're  going  to  spend  every  night  with  
her.  Don't  even  assume  you're  going  to  hear  from  her  every  night.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTIMACY

Don't-­‐  that  is  a  do.  Do  keep  boundaries  and  nights  for  yourself.  Let's  get  
into  the  dos.  Instead  we'll  follow  David  Do.  Where'd  I  come  up  with  that?  I  
don't  know.  Do  increase  the  frequency  of  hanging  out  with  each  other.  
You're  going  to  see  her  once  a  week,  then  you  see  twice  a  week,  then  you  
see  her  three  times  a  week.  Do  increase  frequency  of  hanging  out.  Do  bring  
her  more  into  your  world.  Share  your  world  with  her,  share  some  of  the  
things  that  you're  going  through,  the  good  stuff.  Bring  her  more  into  your  
world.    

Do  meet  each  other's  friends.  Do  learn  about  her  favorites  and  her  
preferences.  She  likes  Big  Bird,  show  up  at  your  house  one  day  with  a  Big  
Bird  Mylar  balloon.  Learn  what  her  favorite  flowers.  Finally,  do  keep  
boundaries  and  nights  for  yourself.  Just  do  not  just  jump  right  in  that  
relationship.  Do  keep  some  boundaries  and  space  and  some  nights  for  
yourself.  

A  big  way  that  you're  going  to  make  this  transition  is  connecting  on  vision  
and  plans.  Where  you  go  from,  hey  we  have  fun  hanging  out  together,  to  
hey,  we'd  make  a  great  couple  together,  is  where  you  guys  have  a  strong  
connection  on  what  you  want  to  do  in  the  world  and  in  life,  in  terms  of  
what  you  see  is  possible,  your  vision  and  specifically  how  you're  going  to  
achieve  it.  

Get  her  involved  in  your  vision.  We've  talked  a  lot  about  mission,  about  
vision.  Get  her  involved  in  your  vision.  It  could  be  very  simple.  When  I  was  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTIMACY

DJing,  I  remember,  I  would  be  sitting  there  and  I'd  be  like,  okay,  I  really  
need  to  make  a  song  with  Take  On  Me.    

We'd  sit  there  and  we'd  go  through  all  my  songs  and  we'd-­‐  okay,  that  one  
works  great  with  Take  On  Me.  Do  the  little  beat.  That's  a  very  small  way  of  
doing  it,  but  still  I'm  creating  a  vision  of  this  party  that  I  want  to  have.  I'm  
getting  her  involved  in  it.  Maybe  I  ask  her  to  host  a  party  with  me,  we  host  
a  party  together.  Bring  all  your  friends  or  just  a  bar  night.  Talk  to  her  about  
thoughts  on  your  big  vision,  what  you  want  to  do  in  the  world.  Just  share  it  
with  her.    

Help  her  realize  her  own.  We  talked  about  this  before.  Help  her  with  
research  or  planning  work  that  she  has  to  do.  Help  her  write  emails  to  co-­‐
workers.  Strategize  the  business  plan  of  her  life.  Just  don't  become  her  
sugar  daddy.  That's  the  key  point.  Guide  her,  give  her  mentorship,  give  her  
feedback,  give  her  encouragement.  Help  her  realize  her  vision.  

The  question  is  how  do  the  two  of  you  see  the  world  together?  That's  what  
is  going  to  evolve  in  this  phase  as  well.  A  lot  of  the  dates  and  activities  in  
this  phase  are  about  you  opening  up  to  her  and  showing  her  that  you  share  
the  same  experience  of  the  world  as  her.    

When  you  guys  walk  down  the  street,  do  you  see  the  sunset  in  the  same  
way?  Do  you  guys  enjoy  the  hustle-­‐bustle  of  Manhattan  or  does  it  drive  the  
both  of  you  nuts?  Do  you  guys  both  love  to  dance  to  Coldplay  songs  or  are  
you  just  more  of  a  chill  guy?  How  do  the  two  of  you  see  the  world  
together?  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTIMACY

One  of  the  things  I  talk  about  is  I  have  these/  big  DJ  earphones  and  I've  got  
a  couple  pairs  of  them.  What  I  use  to  love  was-­‐  I  still  love  doing  this-­‐  is  
putting  those  on  and  smoking  a  little  weed  and  just  listening  to  some  really  
great,  awesome,  amazing  music.  It's  having  it  surround  me.  That's  a  sort  of  
experience  that  we  might  have  in  a  date  in  this  period.  She  comes  over  for  
dinner,  just  gets  stoned  and  listen  to  amazing  music  in  incredible  earphones  
and  just  experience  that  sensual  element  of  the  world  together.  

This  is  a  phase  where  you're  looking  for  romance  in  everything  you  do.  In  
the  walks  that  you  take  together,  and  eating  chocolate  together  and  
cooking  together.  It's  all  about  picking  very  simple,  sensual  things  for  the  
two  of  you  to  explore  together  and  make  it  about  the  two  of  you,  not  the  
thing  that  you're  doing.  That's  what  this  phase  is  all  about.  

What  are  some  dates  where  you  can  do  that?  There's  going  to  be  some  
others  in  there  too.  Going  to  the  beach  or  the  park,  that's  an  obvious  one.  
What  I  call  boy  school-­‐  taking  her  to  school  on  something  that  you're  really  
good  at  that  boys  do.  Maybe  teaching  her  how  to  skateboard  or  teaching  
her  how  to  play  drums,  taking  her  rock  climbing.  Something  that's  a  little  
boyish  in  activities.  Seeing  how  she  keeps  up.  If  she's  athletic,  she  might  
just  kick  your  ass.    

Doing  cool,  weird  combinations  of  things  like  a  date  where  you're  like,  okay  
we're  going  to  get  champagne  and  we're  going  to  get  mac  and  cheese.  It's  
going  to  be  like  amazing  champagne  and  just  cook  some  mac  and  cheese,  
and  see  how  it  goes  together.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTIMACY

For  some  reason  those  two  go  together  very  well  and  you  can  combine  that  
with  a  boy  date.  Champagne,  mac  and  cheese,  and  we'll  go  get  drum  
lessons  together.  I  remember  my  sister  went  on  a  date  where  a  guy  took  
her  for  drum  lessons  and  she  wouldn't  stop  talking  about  how  amazing  it  
was.    

You  can  do  a  wine  and  chocolate  tour  of  the  city.  Find  three  chocolate  bars  
and  hey  we're  going  to  go  from  bar  to  bar  to  bar  and  sample  the  city's  
chocolates.  Same  thing  with  wine.  You  go  to  social  events  together.  We  
already  talked  about  the  girlfriend  experience,  the  social  date.  Go  to  social  
events  together.  Go  to  classes  together  if  you  feel  so  inclined  in  this  phase.    

"Hey  listen.  I  know  we've  only  been  dating  for  a  week  or  two,  but  I'm  about  
to  start  taking  this  cooking  class.  If  you  want  to  join  me  for  a  session,  I'd  
love  to  have  you."  Going  to  concerts  and  sporting  events  together.  If  you  
love  going  to  see  live  music  or  you  like  to  go  see  sports,  this  is  a  great  
opportunity.  Also  playing  sports  together.  If  she's  athletic,  if  you're  athletic,  
get  her  to  play  sports  with  you.  

You  also  want  to  pepper  this  phase  with  little  surprises.  Maybe  you'll  show  
up  after  the  second  or  third  time  you've  had  sex  with  her  and  you'll  arrive  
with  some  flowers.  A  lot  of  guys,  they  show  up  with  flowers  before  a  date.  
Kind  of  gets  the  process  inverted  right?    

After  you've  been  dating  a  little  bit,  show  up  with  flowers,  just  to  surprise  
her.  Show  her  what  she  means  to  you.  A  book  or  a  movie  with  personal  
meaning.  There's  a  book  that  has  a  lot  of  personal  meaning  to  me.  It's  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTIMACY

called  This  Is  Water  by  David  Foster  Wallace.  I  don't  know  if  you  all  have  
read  it.  I  happen  to  make  that  a  gift  for  a  certain  special  person  in  my  life  
with  a  little  note  that  was  inscribed  in  it,  saying  this  book  meant  a  lot  to  me,  
I  hope  you  enjoy  it  as  well.  

You  can  send  a  get  well  soon  kit  if  the  girl  is  sick.  I've  done  this  in  the  past  
where  you-­‐  in  New  York  it's  very  easy.  You  can  just  send-­‐  go  onto  
seamless.com  and  have  some  chicken  noodle  soup  sent  to  her  house.  You  
can  have  a  friend  show  up  or  you  can  just  leave  it  at  the  front  door  and  ding  
dong  ditch  it.  Some  chicken  noodle  soup,  a  DVD  and  a  pack  of  Emergen-­‐C  
or-­‐  what's  the  other  stuff?  Airborne?  Some  Airborne,  a  DVD  and  chicken  
noodle  soup.  That's  a  get  well  soon  kit.  

If  you  travel  a  lot,  sending  her  a  post  card  or  grabbing  a  little  trinket  from  
where  you  are.  Maybe  it's  just  something  as  stupid  as-­‐  you  don't  live  in  New  
York,  but  you  came  to  New  York  and  you  just  get  a  stupid  key  chain.  It  
doesn't  really  mean  anything  in  a  grand  sense,  it  was  made  for  a  cent  or  a  
penny  or  two  in  some  manufacturing  plant  in  Lord  knows  where,  but  to  her  
it  has  meaning  because  you  were  thinking  of  her  when  you  were  gone.  

Sending  creative  MMS  pictures.  We  were  out  yesterday  at  this  restaurant  
and  the  tablecloths  were  paper  and  there  were  crayons.  What  you  could  do  
in  that  situation  is  just  grab  the  crayon  and  draw  on  it,  thinking  of  you.    

You  could  do  that  in  the  sand  if  you  find  yourself  on  a  beach,  thinking  of  
you,  on  the  beach  somewhere.  Maybe  you  could  arrange  some  rocks  to  say  
it.  Whatever  the  case.  Creative  MMSs.  Leaving  little  notes  in  her  purse.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTIMACY

Never  do  that.  Leaving  little  notes  in  her  purse.  Great  to  be  with  you  last  
night.  Have  an  amazing  day,  you're  adorable.  Sweet  little  thoughts.  

Two  others  that  are  kind  of  funny.  I'm  normally  not  one  to  suggest  that  you  
pirate  movies,  but  in  this  case,  if  you  own  the  rights  to  the  movie  then  I  
encourage  you  to  do  it.  Pirate  a  movie  off  of  Pirate  Bay  or  one  of  these  sites  
and-­‐  in  my  case  it  was  Life  is  Beautiful,  I  think,  I  can't  remember.  You  can  
edit  the  closed  captions  in  these  movies.  The  closed  captions  are  these  text  
files.  When  you  download  the  movie  off  the  internet,  you  get  all  these  files.  
There'll  be  one-­‐  you'll  figure  it  out  just  by  looking  through  it,  it's  like  a  
closed  caption  file.  

If  you're  on  a  Mac,  you  open  it  with  Text  Edit,  if  you're  on  a  PC,  you  open  it  
with  whatever  text  editor  there  is  on  there.  You'll  just  see  the  way  that  the  
closed  caption  file  is  set  up,  is  there's  a  little  time  stamp  next  to  every  word  
that's  said.  It's  very,  very  easy.  Just  open  this  up  with  a  text  editor  and  
change  the  closed  caption  to  read  something  like-­‐  if  we're  using  Alicia's  
name-­‐  Alicia  is  so  cute.  Oh  my  gosh.  Alicia's  so  adorable.  

This  works  especially  well  if  it's  a  foreign  film  because  she's  going  to  have  to  
be  paying  attention  to  the  words  on  the  screen.  That's  why  I  like  Life  Is  
Beautiful.  You  add  the  closed  captioning  and  she's  just  watching  it.  First  it's  
saying  one  thing  and  then  all  of  a  sudden,  it's  her  name.  You  do  it  enough  
times  through  the  closed  caption,  maybe  four  or  five  lines,  she's  like,  "What  
just  happened  there?"  "I  might  have  edited  that  for  you."  Very  cute.  

 
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Finally  if  you  know  a  thing  or  two  about  making  a  website,  you  could  make  
a  website  for  a  girl.  The  cute  way  to  do  this  is  just  buy  the  domain.  If  we  
were  using  Alicia  once  again,  we'd  say,  aliciaisreallycute.com.  You  can  get  
that  for  ten  bucks.  You  can  get  an  image  editor,  go  on  Photoshop,  
whatever,  and  just  take  a  random  picture  of  her  and  add  a  logo.  See  look  
how  cute  she  is.  Pop  that  up  on  the  website.  If  you  had  some  web  
programming  experience,  it's  a  lot  easier,  but  this  is  something  that's  ...  It  
got  a  pretty  good  response.  You  can  make  a  website  for  a  girl.  

Becoming  official.  You're  doing  all  these  little  fun,  cute,  surprises.  How  do  
you  actually  become  official?  You've  been  dating  for  two,  three,  four,  five,  
six  weeks.  Certain  stuff  is  going  to  start  to  happen  along  this  process.  You're  
going  to  be  out  together,  you're  going  to  take  photos  together,  you're  going  
to  start  tagging  each  other  in  Facebook  photos.    

You're  going  to  have  conversations  about  each  other's  family  members  and  
those  will  be  more  prominent.  Every  now  and  then,  they'll  be  on  the  phone  
and  all  of  a  sudden  you  have  a  conversation  with  their  family  member.  "Hey  
it's  my  mom.  She  wants  to  say  hi  to  you."  You  start  to  have  conversations  
with  the  family  members.  

Then  there's  the  talk.  How  do  you  have  the  talk?  What  is  the  talk?  How  do  
you  define  that  you  guys  are  official?  The  talk  is  usually  something  you  
should  happen  casually.  It  should  happen  over  lunch,  or  in  bed,  or  over  
brunch  after  you've  woken  up  with  her  the  next  morning.  Not  something  to  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTIMACY

take  her  out  to  dinner  and  propose  the  talk  to  her.  Something  kind  of  
casual.  

You  have  the  talk.  What  does  the  talk  go  like?  "Listen,  I  just  want  to  let  you  
know,  I  generally  don't  like  to  put  labels  on  things,  but  I  just  love  spending  
time  with  you.  I  don't  know  what's  going  on  in  your  life,  but  I  haven't  been  
dating  anybody  else  for  awhile.  I  didn't  realize  this,  but  I  guess  I've  become  
kind  of  exclusive  with  you."    

She'll  be  mirroring  what  your  thoughts  are.  She  might  say,  "I  haven't  done  
the  same  for  you."  She  probably  won't.  She'll  probably  like,  "Yeah.  I'm  the  
same  situation."  "I  don't  know  what  that  makes  us  right  now.  I  don't  know  
if  it  makes  us  boyfriend  girlfriend.  I  don't  know."  She'll  be  like,  "Yeah  it  kind  
of  does."  Cool.  Guess  we're  boyfriend  girlfriend  now.    

It's  more  of  a  casual  thing.  It's  not  like,  hey  what  are  we?  You're  leading  
your  way  into  it  just  by  opening  the  door.  I  haven't  been  dating  anybody  
else.  I've  been  exclusive  with  you  for  awhile  now.  I  don't  know  what  that  
makes  us.  I  don't  like  labels  but  ...  That's  it.  That's  the  talk.  

Once  you  had  the  talk,  you  can  introduce  others  to  her  as  your  girlfriend.  
Say,  "Hey  this  is  my  girlfriend."  One  final  point  is  don't  ever,  ever,  ever  
change  your  Facebook  status  unless  you  have  to,  unless  she  just  makes  you.  
Until  you  get  married,  don't  change  your  Facebook  status  to  In  a  
Relationship.  It  just  gets  messy.  That's  a  minor  point.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM INTIMACY

That's  how  you  go  from  dating  to  official.  Intimacy-­‐  again  that's  a  very  short  
section-­‐  that's  really  it.  A  big  part  of  intimacy  is  just  you  not  messing  up  and  
her  not  being  crazy.  Don’t  fuck  up,  don't  over  text,  don't  over  call  her,  but  
don't  be  too  cool.  Don’t  give  her  too  much  space.  Don't  over  text,  don't  
under  text.  Just  be  cool  and  her  not  being  crazy.    

Her  investment  in  you  will  increase  considerably  if  you  do  have  some  
boundaries,  if  you  do  thoughtful  things  for  her,  if  you  give  her  space  to  miss  
you,  and  if  you  show  her  love  when  you  two  are  together.  This  is  all  about  
having  fun  together,  finding  sensual  experiences  together  and  creating  a  
canvas  upon  which  the  two  of  you  may  fall  in  love.  That  is  intimacy.

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM CONCLUSION

CHAPTER 22: CONCLUSION

Gentlemen,  it's  been  a  long  weekend  and  this  brings  our  course  to  a  
conclusion.  What  about  in  love  that's  a  last  phase  of  the  obsession  story?  
That's  not  really  the  subject  of  this  course,  that's  a  subject  of  another  
course  that  I  may  or  may  not  make.  

The  one  thing  I  would  say  is  that  the  man  you  are  in  a  relationship  is  never  
the  same  as  you  are  as  a  man  before  you  started  that  relationship.  As  Alex  
discussed  yesterday,  relationships  are  a  beautiful  crucible  in  which  we  can  
grow.  

I've  messed  up  so  many  relationships  from  immaturity,  stupidity,  insecurity.  
I  don't  want  that  for  you  and  it's  all  about  entering  the  relationship  as  a  
whole  men.  If  you  do  follow  the  process  that  I've  laid  out  for  you,  I'm  pretty  
sure  you'll  get  a  girlfriend.  

This  is  pretty  comprehensive.  You  become  an  awesome  guy,  you  follow  the  
process,  pretty  good  chance  you'll  end  up  with  a  girlfriend.  I  would  like  to  
say  100%,  I'd  like  to  say  I  guarantee  it.  Maybe  you  got  a  little  bit  of  crazy  to  
work  out  of  you.  Maybe  the  girl  you  want  is  crazy,  but  it's  pretty  likely.  

I  really  hope  that  ...  For  those  of  you  in  this  room,  obviously  we'll  continue  
to  have  relationships  outside  of  this  room.  For  those  of  you  at  home,  I  hope  
that  I'll  have  a  chance  to  meet  you  one  day  and  you'll  continue  to  train  
from  me.  

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM CONCLUSION

As  you've  heard  me  mention,  I  have  a  course  called  the  Ten  Code  where  I  
build  upon  all  of  the  personality  traits  that  I  mentioned  here  and  just  try  to  
help  a  guy  become  the  best  version  of  himself  he  can  be,  totally  maxed  out.    

Similarly,  one  other  thing  to  mention  for  the  guys  at  home  is  if  you  feel  like  
you  want  to  like  really  kick  this  into  high  gear,  then  come  in  for  coaching.  
You've  seen  Nick.  You  know  how  much  I  respect  him.  You  know  how  
amazing  he  is.  We'd  love  to  get  you  in  here  and  have  you  have  a  chance  to  
work  with  him.  It's  going  to  improve  your  game  so,  so,  so  quickly.    

We've  learned  so  much  here,  but  I'm  sure  that  there  are  many  questions  
that  we  all  still  have  about  where  do  we  go  from  here,  what's  the  next  
phase  of  development,  what's  the  next  phase  of  life.  You  could  take  
everything  that  we  learn  here  and  I  feel  like  it's  totally  complete  program,  
but  there's  still  so  much  more  that  I  feel  like  I  have  to  share  with  
everybody.  That's  in  the  rest  of  the  stuff  that  we  teach.    

Final  closing  thoughts:  I  would  love  to  be  able  to  just  read  these  off  the  
screen  and  have  them  be  magical  or  memorize  them  and  have  them  be  
magical,  but  I'm  just  going  to  read  them  off  the  screen  for  everybody  here.    

Women  are  mirror  that  reflects  on  to  us  the  best  and  the  worst  of  
ourselves.  They  can  bring  out  the  best  of  us  and  they  can  bring  out  the  
worst  of  us.  We  can  find  the  jealousy,  the  hatred,  the  anger,  the  self  doubt.  
We  can  also  find  the  joy,  the  passion,  the  love  and  the  ability  to  help  other  
people  grow  by  having  relationships  with  women.    

 
THE GIRLFRIEND ACTIVATION SYSTEM CONCLUSION

I  would  say  that  becoming  obsession-­‐worthy  man  which  is  where  we  
started  this  is  about  much  more  than  her.  It's  about  being  a  little  bit  selfish,  
by  giving  yourself  the  gift  of  the  best  life  that  you  can  live,  as  the  best  that  
you  can  be.  That's  truly  the  mission  that  we  have  for  everybody  here.    

If  your  day  to  day  reality  is  to  be  the  guy  who  we  described  at  the  beginning  
of  this  course,  the  awesome  guy  that  we  want  every  man  to  be,  then  you  
will  find  love  and  you  will  find  yourself  reflected  in  the  eyes  of  an  absolutely  
amazing  woman.  You  look  in  her  eyes,  that's  what  you  will  feel.  You  just  
feel  the  elation  of  having  found  yourself.  
   
That's  my  hope  for  you  and  that's  what  I  hope  that  I'm  able  to  give  you  just  
a  little  bit  with  this  course  and  if  you  have  success  from  it,  I'd  love  to  hear  
about  it  and  for  those  of  you  in  the  room,  again,  thank  you  so  much  for  
joining  me  here  today  and  that's  all  we  got  from  now  gentleman.  Thanks  
again.