3 AM THOUGHTS

“I love you” he whispers to my ear as we sit in

I love when he suddenly holds my hands when
an empty room
we’re walking in the streets
A tear slides down my cheek, and I feel his
As if he was showing me off to the world
hand in mine
Like how he kisses my body while we lay on the
To my precious Baby,
couch,
Your love is mine
Showing me what we have
As mine is yours

The claps of thunder
The clashing waves of the sea
The wind caressing the leaves on the trees
The water dripping from the faucet
The cold tingle, shivering on my nape;
The sound of your laughter
Write me a poem of how you see the galaxy in
my eyes
How much you love to feel my hands, calluses
and scars carved on my skin
How perfectly shaped you think my nose is
How much you like to inhale the scent of my
perfume
How much you love to see me smile
And the silent laughs we share
How beautiful your life turned out when we met
And your late night thoughts about me
Write me a poem about love
And your life with me in it
 The curtains were dancing to the wind He roams the unvisited lands
Windows open, inviting the sound of the calm I hide myself under the covers
waters
“I don’t like my body. It’s too ugly”
His moans in rhythm with the whistles
He touches the hills, feels the little bumps, rough
He kisses me on the lips as he climaxed, looked
Kisses the imperfections
me in the eyes
“Baby, you’re perfect”
I’m in love, I thought to myself
His hands made their way to what was I get a whiff of a familiar smell and I remember
between my thighs how tender his lips felt on mine
Unfolds the pages, fondles I see a picture of a smiling child and I
remember his innocent voice asking if he could
And unleashes the waves with every
kiss me
movement of his fingers
I hear the squeak of rubber shoes on the floor
I found myself in the ocean
and I remember how he used to run up behind
Surrounded by sand, wet me
I feel the sheets of my bed and I remember
how he caressed my body
I miss how he stares at my face as we lay on
the bed
How he traces the shape of my lips
How he sleeps soundly beside me
And wakes up saying he liked the warmth of
my body next to his
I ache for his presence
I ache for his touch
I ache for his love
The earth shakes as I silently scream,
An undying suffering from the haunting of what
has been feeding off my fear
The voice in my head had been merciless, cruel
“You’re never good enough. You’re pathetic.”
I silence her, I silence myself
The soft thud of a lifeless body
An endless sleep
Crimson carpeting the floor
 Sandpaper on skin, that’s what it felt like when
we touched
But still I craved feeling your skin on mine.

A broken promise
Marshmallow and chocolate, what you tasted
An honest lie
like to me
A teardrop on paper
Fruit cake, the taste I am; the one you hate.
An ink stain
Droopy eyes
You were this burning flame; beautiful,
Tired faces dangerous and still I loved the pain when you
And a weary heart were around.

I know – you no longer love me I made a horrific image in my head; that you’d
let go of my hand or stop calling me yours,
when I was never.
Where was the love you promised?
I am homesick for a place I have never been
to,
I filled his heart, saved him from boredom
Feeling lost in this city I have been calling my
He saved my heart, filled my void
own
A beginning of an ending story, yet unknown
There is a longing;
He puts me back on the empty shelves, comes
The smell of brewed coffee on a Friday night
back when he feels lonely
The smell of the ocean
I mend his heart, save him from boredom
Car rides in the empty streets
He forgets my heart, breaks them into pieces.
Long walks on cold summers
There’s this constant feeling of emptiness
A longing for warmth and lazy smiles;
A heart looking for a home
He made me feel
There’s this constant feeling of emptiness
Now all that’s left is my heart to heal
A longing for warmth and lazy smiles
I have yet to thank the void who holds my hand Cover my eyes as I leap into the pit of endless
when the heavens decide it is my time to weep suffering and as I fall, whisper in my ear that all
will end soon
And so shall I
On days when I walk on a busy street, I count
my fingers to keep myself from wandering in
My tears are pain failed to be translated into
the abyss of stares that swallow what is let of
words by my mind
me dead soul
And the silent screams are helpless attempts to
And I trip on a pebble, reminding me of my
stop myself from crying
shameful existence
 We sometimes lose grasp of our
reality to fantasize about what we
told us about when sleeping wasn’t
think feeds the sanity of our own
our paradise; escape. Then it
worlds. It is the world we walk on
becomes possible for dreams both
when circumstances become a little
bitter and sweet to collide and
too much to handle – when reality
become hazy as we confuse fantasy
becomes the monsters our parents
for reality.
It is a mortal sin to commit murder. Life is
supposed to be sacred. We were, still are,
We kill the person we are to become
entitled to give meaning, dive into the so-
what is desired.
called blessing and in return, a promised
paradise. I wanted to get drunk and drown in my
own misery. I wanted to hear what sorrow
It wasn’t that way at all. We intoxicate
would sound like, what pain would feel
ourselves with pleasure, temporary, to
like.
heal scars only to open new wounds and
life just becomes an endless cycle of
hopelessness deluded to create infinite
power and joy.
On most days, I am an abyss of confusion

I am an epitome of a void; On most days, I feel nothing and

everything
Empty and questioning existence.
Paradoxical
I wonder what life is, when life itself is no
longer what it is Memories, forgotten and remembered,
linger
Or what it would be like I wasn’t born
myself They touch every part of me and whisper

What if I got to be one of the stars Great things, horrible things

And at the end of every day, Endless

Sleep pays me, yet, another visit and
They say it’s lonely in outer space; invites me
everything is further away than they look.
“Rest, dear” he says
Everyone is further away from me.

They’re like dreams; untouched but vivid

Temptations to taste life in its finest form

Become something – happy, free