BY: YARA ELENIS DIAZ

Learning activity 1

Evidence: Regrets from the dying

This evidence is divided into two parts. Read the instructions below and make
sure you complete both tasks.

Fuente: SENA

A. In 2012, Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative nurse, wrote a book called

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying”. Read the following article about that
book and answer the questions below.

To answer questions 1 and 2, follow the grammar structure in the example:

Example: They wish they hadn’t wasted time in silly arguments.

Source: http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-
of-the-dying
 BY: YARA ELENIS DIAZ

Top five regrets of the dying

A nurse has recorded the most common regrets of the dying, and among the
top ones is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'. What would your biggest regret be
if this was your last day of life?

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who
has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common
regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in
particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in

palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She
recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which
gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called
The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of
their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned
about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says,
"common themes surfaced again and again".

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others
expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life
is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many
dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of
their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had
made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no
longer have it".

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their
children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of
this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female
patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply
regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work
existence".
 BY: YARA ELENIS DIAZ

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others.
As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who
they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to
the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result".

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their
dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had
become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships
slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving
friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their
friends when they are dying".

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that
happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits.
The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well
as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and
to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to
laugh properly and have silliness in their life again".

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or
change before you die?

Questions:

1. What is one of the most common regrets dying people, particularly men,
have?

2. When dying people are asked about their regrets, what are the most
common themes they mention?

3. In the article they mentioned that happiness is a choice. What do you think
this means?
 BY: YARA ELENIS DIAZ

Answers:

1. What is one of the most common regrets dying people, particularly

men, have?

One of the most common regrets that people have before dying
especially men is I wish I had the courage to live my life according to
what I wanted and not according to what other people wanted.

2. When dying people are asked about their regrets, what are the most
common themes they mention?

The most common themes mentioned by the dying about their sorrows
are:

It is about the little time that has been dedicated to the family because
of the great amount of time they have spent working

The little time that has been devoted to friends

To have kept silent what they felt and not to have expressed it

Not having been happy enough.

3. In the article they mentioned that happiness is a choice. What do

you think this means?

That the individual as an adult is responsible for his own happiness and
that he provides it to himself, doing what he likes, enjoying the people
he has around him, taking advantage of the day to day being happy with
the little or much that is taken for that the time that goes away, does
not return and that he should not be afraid to make mistakes when
making his own decisions.
 BY: YARA ELENIS DIAZ

B. Using the answers from part A question 2, describe how things would have
been different if they had changed their actions in each situation. Read the
example below:

Example:

Regret: They wish they hadn’t wasted time on silly arguments.

Reflection: If they hadn’t wasted time on silly arguments, they would have
enjoyed the company of others more.

Answer:

It is about the little time that has been dedicated to the family because
of the great amount of time they have spent working

Reflection: If I had worked a little less I could have spent more time with my
children, my wife, my brothers, my parents, I could have enjoyed more of their
company, a trip, a walk, a game, a meal, a joke with them I would have known
about your dream needs, your fears, and I would have been there when they
needed me.

The little time that has been devoted to friends

Reflection: If I had spent more time with my friends, I would have enjoyed more of
your company and in the difficult moments, they would have been a support for me.

To have kept quiet what they felt and not have expressed it.

Reflection: If I had said, what I felt I would have avoided doing things that I did not
want and I would have avoided feeling bad.

Not having been happy enough.

Reflection: During my years of life I would have been happier, if I had spent more
time in the company of family and friends sharing and doing different activities, if I
had been more concerned about giving and receiving a smile instead of being more
worried for work or for what they say, if I had complained less about what I did not
have and gave more value to what I had, I would have realized in time that I had
everything to be very happy