A world less toxic

Mark Leo S. Samaniego

Hello! A fair, healthy, and non-toxic afternoon to everyone!

We live in an age where equality and human rights are hot topics, specifically, gender
and development. It appears that people tend to favor one gender to another, creating bias.
We have seen men with too much machismo resulting in aggressiveness and toxic masculinity
while there are women whose negative behavior and toxic femininity arise from inadequacy
and lack of self-worth. Such attitudes lead to imbalance and prejudice, and people need to
address it.

Before one can discuss this thoroughly, it is crucial to understand specific points of view.
First, one must learn that masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with the sexes. They
are descriptors of energy -- innate and unique to all people. Second, both sexes possess
masculine and feminine energy only in varying degrees. As Carl Jung posits, "in every man,
there is a hidden and repressed female spirit and, in every woman, there is a hidden and
repressed masculine spirit." They move and shift from one to the other in search of balance and
harmony. Failing to acknowledge this harmony results in an unconscious, toxic behavior -- a
battle of the sexes.

Misogyny and misandry have become common that they hurt both males and females. These
have to stop. To do that, one must be able to recognize their many forms. Then, after
acknowledging, they have to be replaced with healthier messages and behaviors.

Thanks to modern-day feminism, we know well what misogyny is -- dislike of, contempt
for, and ingrained prejudice against women. In contrast, very few of our constituents know
what misandry is. We easily recognize actions related to toxic masculinity yet fail to distinguish
those linked to toxic femininity -- a clear manifestation of bias and prejudice. This is so because
the former has the natural tendency to become aggressive and visible while the latter tends to
be passive and unnoticeable.

For experts, the balance of the masculine and feminine energy in a person has to remain
in equilibrium. Unbalanced masculine energy becomes toxic and shows up as violence, rage,
hated, name-calling, sarcasm, bullying, and all kinds of abuse. When feminine energy goes
toxic, it appears as guilt, depression, anxiety, lack of self-worth, bitterness, spite, jealousy,
passive-aggressiveness, or clingy behavior. Both behaviors can be seen in men and women.
Thus, there can be toxic femininity in men and toxic masculinity in women.

It will be wise to resolve the problem by beginning amongst ourselves. Remove the
stereotypical man versus woman dilemma. As the Chinese say, these two are like yin and yang,
salt and pepper -- they complement each other. There should be no perceived rivalry.
 The society has a vital role in resolving this problem. Men tend to be aggressive as they
most of the time lack proper ‘rites of passage’ where they start to see women as not their
competition but an integral part of their masculinity. The same is true among girls. What they
need is the proper understanding of their roles in society and to realize that they play a great
part in nation-building.

Removing the barrier and stereotype, the bias and prejudice, and the misogyny and
misandry are the proper answers to the issue. In simple terms, it's all about striking the
balance. Borrowing the words of Andrew Sweeny, "... men and women are profoundly
complementary. In the heart of most men is a woman, the yin in the yang; and in the heart of
most women is a man — the yang in the yin."

We long for the day that men and women alike will no longer claim dominance or call
for equality, but simply appreciate each other's coexistence. We look forward to tomorrow
where men laud their masculinity and women celebrate their femininity without misogyny nor
misandry. That's our dream -- a world less toxic.

Thank you, men and women.