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Bowen described an evolutionary process of natural selection over generations of family functioning,
fueled by two primal, counterbalancing forces, the need for intimacy and belonging (fusion) and the
need to be separate and individual (differentiation of self).
Psychological problems are viewed as rooted in the family system’s inability to effectively reconcile
stress. As anxiety increases, relationships become increasingly reactive, deepening the emotional
fusion between members while decreasing their respective differentiation (of self). Unresolved, anxiety
and trauma result in chronic tension expressed as “physiological symptoms, emotional dysfunction,
social illness or social misbehavior” (M. Bowen).
Much of Bowen’s theory retains broad applicability as evidenced by core assumptions common to the
cognitive–behavioral, attachment and interpersonal therapies (the importance of interpretation and the
ability to demarcate between feeling and thought and between one’s own convictions and those of
another), the family therapies (triangulation, family structure and functioning) and the biomedical, on
the role of stress in primary and behavioral health symptom formation.
8 Interlocking Concepts
1. Differentiation of Self
2. Triangles
6. Emotional Cutoff
7. Sibling Position
Note: Some of the description of the eight concepts of Bowen Theory are modified excerpts from the Bowen Center for Family Studies and from a literature review by Vermont
Center for Family Studies faculty member, Monika Baege, referencing the following sources: Bowen, 1978; Gilbert, 1992, 1999; Kerr & Bowen, 1988, and Noone, 1995.
1. Differentiation of Self
Differentiation of self is a measure of the degree of integration of self, describing how people cope with life's demands and
pursue their goals on a continuum from most adaptive to least
Variations in this adaptiveness depend on several connected factors, including the amount of solid self, the part of self that is not
negotiable in relationships. Greater differentiation = strength of convictions; less solid self = feels more pressure to think, feel,
and act like the other.
Level of differentiation refers to the degree to which a person can think and act for self while in contact with emotionally
charged issues. It also refers to the degree to which a person can discern between thoughts and feelings.
o Higher levels of differentiation: manages stress, anxiety and reactivity; choose thoughtful action
o Lower levels of differentiation: increased dependence on others to function; increased likelihood of developing severe
symptoms under stress; They act, often destructively, based on anxious reactions to the environment. Their intellectual
reasoning fuses with emotionality. Even highly intelligent people can be poorly differentiated.
The process of differentiating a self involves a conscious effort at strengthening or raising the amount of solid self by defining
beliefs and principles, managing anxiety and reactivity, and relating differently to the family system; the level of differentiation
is raised in the whole system.
On a scale of 0-100, most of the population scores below 30; 50 is unusual and 75 occurs rarely within several hundred years
Relationships function as if they are governed by
two equally intense counterbalancing life forces
- Bowen Family Systems Theory
Individuality/Individuation Togetherness
Differentiation Fusion
SELF-DEFINITION
1. A Mature Understanding of One’s Own Limits and of the Limits of Others
A clear understanding of where one ends and somebody else begins
Respect for the right of others to be who and how they wish to be while refusing to allow them to define or intrude upon one’s own rights
The defining characteristic is to have oneself defined from within, rather than adapting to please others or simply to avoid conflict
2. Clarity as to One’s Own Beliefs
What do I believe, why do I believe it to be so, and from whence does this belief come from?
How strong are my convictions?
Of what am I certain, and of what am I not so certain?
SELF-REGULATION
3. Courage to Take Stands
Defining where one stands on issues and the courage to affirm those beliefs in the face of disapproval
Refusing to give in to another when it is a matter of principle
Capacity to stand firm in the face of strong reactions! -ie. “You can't think, act, or feel that way and remain a part of this family!'
4. The Ability to Retain Integrity
Resolve to follow through on a vision or toward a goal or outcome despite threats or sabotage from others
Emotional and spiritual stamina to stick with a plan or goal and not let the reactions of others redefine its course
5. Staying Connected
Maintaining a relatively non-reactive give-and-take with those who are reacting to you
Resisting the impulse to attack or cut off from those who are most reactive to you.
Patterns of interaction that reduce conflict and duress within the dyad
Triangles: Problem Solvers and Creators
Triangle Theory
1. Conflict is a continuous condition of human interaction
2. Triangulation is a pattern of interaction that reduces conflict and distress; it is a process whereby anxiety is decreased and
tension dissipated through emotional interaction with others
“The (Bowen) theory states that the triangle, a three-person emotional configuration, is the molecule or the basic building block of
any emotional system, whether it is in the family or any other group. The triangle is the smallest stable relationship system. A two-
person system may be stable as long as it is calm, but when anxiety increases, it immediately involves the most vulnerable other
person to become a triangle. When tension in the triangle is too great for the threesome, it involves others to become a series of
interlocking triangles.” M. Bowen. “Family Therapy in Clinical Practice.” Aronson New York. 1976. P373
3. Unmediated, conflict results in chronic tension expressed as “physiological symptoms, emotional dysfunction, social illness
or social misbehavior” - M. Bowen
4. The resulting conditions are characterized by “1) marital (or partner) discord; 2) dysfunction in a partner; 3) impairment
in one or more of the children; or 4) severe emotional “cut-off”, including isolation, abandonment, betrayal, or expulsion
5. Triangulation may also result in preferred patterns of interaction that avoid responsibility for change –Alfred Adler
8
Triangle’s Simplified
A third persons is pulled into the conflict, creating more space for anxiety and relieving some of the pressure
When the triad can no longer contain the anxiety, more people are triangulated, forming a series of
interlocking triangles
If one member of the triangle remains calm and in emotional contact with the other two, the system
automatically calms down.
When stress and reactivity intensify and remain chronic, members lock into a triangular position which
solidifies and develops symptoms.
third person or subject of mutual, concern or interest
dyad
anxiety
10
third person or subject of mutual, concern or interest
dyad
Third party helps mediate conflict or remedy problem in the two-person relationship (dyad). For example:
siblings cease their disagreement over chores to actively chide their younger brother
co-workers are unclear on best approach to an issue and seek guidance from their supervisor
11
third person or subject of mutual,
concern or interest
Alliance
increases trust
and intimacy
dyad
12
# 1. Detouring or “Scapegoating”
#1
Conflict in the dyad goes
unresolved as attention is drawn
away from important issues
#2 child
Cross-generational Coalition: The third party is a child pulled into an inappropriate role
(cross-generational coalition) such as mediator in the conflict between two parents. This
could include parent-child-parent and parent-child-grandparent triangles. Adult Adult
13
Triangulation begins as a normative response due to stress or anxiety
Over time caused by developmental transition, change or conflict
14
3. Nuclear Family Emotional Process
How members adjust roles and responsibilities in their relationships to mediate tasks and reconcile stress and anxiety
Partner/Marital conflict As tension increases partners become more anxious, externalizing their anxiety into the couple relationship.
Partners focuses on what is wrong with the other, each tries to control the other, and each resists the other’s efforts at control.
Partners and members who distance render themselves emotionally unavailable; avoid potentially uncomfortable, though important, topics.
Reciprocity in relationships occurs when one person takes on responsibilities for the twosome. With chronic tension, the two people slide into
over-adequate and under-adequate roles. This can result in failure or inadequacy in one of the partners.
Dysfunction in one partner One partner pressures the other to think and act in certain ways and the other yields to the pressure
Partners accommodate to preserve harmony; typically, more one-sided
When tension rises, the roles intensify, the subordinate partner yield’s more self-control escalating their anxiety
Over-functioning and under-functioning reciprocity intensifies, resulting in greater emotional fusion
Impairment of one or more children Partners focus their anxieties on one or more of their children.
Excessive worry, rigid convictions and beliefs or very negative view of a child results fixed targeting
Increased attention creates heightened sensitivity and reactivity. Child becomes more reactive to their attitudes, needs, and expectations
The process undercuts the child’s differentiation from the family, increasing vulnerability to act out or internalize family tensions
The child’s anxiety can impair school performance, social relationships, and health
Emotional distance Family members distance to reduce the relationship intensity, but risk becoming too isolated and avoidant
Common coping style that concentrates anxiety in other relationships; the more anxiety one person or one relationship absorbs, the less other
members must absorb. This means that some family members maintain their functioning at the expense of others
While harm may be unintended, distancing pools anxiety in the remaining members increasing emotional fusion
.
4. The Family Projection Process
“The primary manner in which parents transmit their emotional problems to a child. The projection process can impair the functioning of
one or more children and increase their vulnerability to clinical symptoms. Children inherit many types of problems (as well as strengths)
through the relationships with their parents, but the problems they inherit that most affect their lives are relationship sensitivities such as
heightened needs for attention and approval, difficulty dealing with expectations, the tendency to blame oneself or others, feeling
responsible for the happiness of others or that others are responsible for one’s own happiness, and acting impulsively to relieve the
anxiety of the moment rather than tolerating anxiety and acting thoughtfully. If the projection process is fairly intense, the child develops
stronger relationship sensitivities than his parents. The sensitivities increase a person’s vulnerability to symptoms by fostering behaviors
that escalate chronic anxiety in a relationship system.
The projection process follows three steps:
(1) the parent focuses on a child out of fear that something is wrong with the child
(2) the parent interprets the child’s behavior as confirming the fear; and
(3) the parent treats the child as if something is really wrong with child.
These steps of scanning, diagnosing, and treating begin early in the child’s life and continue. The parents’ fears and perceptions so shape
the child’s development and behavior that he grows to embody their fears and perceptions. One reason the projection process is a self-
fulfilling prophecy is that parents try to “fix” the problem they have diagnosed in the child; for example, parents perceive their child to
have low self-esteem, they repeatedly try to affirm the child, and the child’s self-esteem grows dependent on their affirmation.
Parents often feel they have not given enough love, attention, or support to a child manifesting problems, but they have invested more
time, energy, and worry in this child than in his siblings. The siblings less involved in the family projection process have a more mature
and reality-based relationship with their parents that fosters the siblings developing into less needy, less reactive, and more goal-directed
people. Both parents participate equally in the family projection process, but in different ways. The mother is usually the primary
caretaker and more prone than the father to excessive emotional involvement with one or more of the children. The father typically
occupies the outside position in the parental triangle, except during periods of heightened tension in the mother-child relationship. Both
parents are unsure of themselves in relationship to the child, but commonly one parent acts sure of himself or herself and the other parent
goes along. The intensity of projection process is unrelated to the amount of time parents spend with a child.” –the Bowen Center
5. Multigenerational Transmission Process
Transmission of information across generations on several interconnected levels, ranging from the conscious teaching and
learning of convictions, rules and regulations, to the automatic and unconscious programming of emotional reactions and
behaviors that, collectively, define the individual’s view of the world and shapes their sense of self.
Parent and child interactions over a prolonged period of dependency and early development results in differentiation at level of parents’
The nuclear family emotional process results in variability in differentiation, with one sibling developing a greater sense of “self”
(increased differentiation) while another develops less, providing siblings practice in role reciprocity (over- and under-functioning)
Multigenerational transmission follows a predictable path to mate selection with similar levels of differentiation of self.
Where siblings with higher differentiation levels from different families mate, their most differentiated offspring foster a line of progeny
with greater differentiation; over multiple generations, the differences between family lines grow increasingly marked
Level of differentiation of self “can affect longevity, marital stability, reproduction, health, educational and occupational accomplishments
Bowen theorized that highly differentiated persons developed stable, productive nuclear families that contributed to society, whereas, low
differentiated individuals raised children over the generations who were more susceptible to social illness and psychological problems*
* Note: “Some concerns have been voiced over what is perceived as an overly deterministic or fatalistic perspective on social growth in
Bowen’s Theory. Perhaps, one could argue, some form of resiliency factor is conveyed as an inheritable trait, making such transmission a
predisposition, rather than a prescriptive condition. One could also argue that this is a critical mechanism in evolutionary psychology and
important to the furtherance of reasoning and innovation in the species”. - d.peratsakis
6. Emotional Cutoff
Emotional cut-off is a preferred method of coping by which the individual reduces the anxiety and stress of unresolved conflict with
parents, siblings, and other family members by reducing or totally cutting off emotional contact with them.
Increase risk of a mismatch between physical proximity and emotional closeness, thereby avoiding sensitive issues
Distance from family members may be offset with exaggerated closeness with other, non-family member relationships, creating
substitute “families” with social and work relationships
Birth is a miracle. Parents have no previous experience. Retains 200% attention from both parents. May become rival of Likes being the center of adult attention. Often has difficulty sharing with siblings
ONLY
one parent. Can be over-protected and spoiled. and peers. Prefers adult company and uses adult language.
Dethroned by next child. Has to learn to share. Parent expectations are usually very high. Often given resposnsibility and May become authoritarian or strict. Feels power is his right. Can become helpful if
OLDEST
expected to set an example. encouraged. May turn to father after birth of next child.
Is more competitive, wants to overtake older child. May become a rebel or try to
SECOND He has a pacemaker. There is always someone ahead.
outdo everyone. Competition can deteriorate into rivalry.
May be even-tempered, "take it or leave it" attitude. May have trouble finding a
MIDDLE Is "sandwiched" in. May feel squeezed out of a position of privilege and significance.
place or become a fighter of injustice.
Wants to be bigger than the others. May have huge plans that never work out. Can
YOUNGEST Has many mothers and fathers. Older children try to educate him. Never dethroned.
stay the "baby." Frequently spoiled.
TWIN One is usually stronger or more active. Parents may see one as the older. Can have identity problems. Stronger one may become the leader.
Child may exploit mother's over-concern for his well-being, or he may rebel, and
"GHOST CHILD" Child born after the death of the first child may have a "ghost" in front of him. Mother may becime over-protective.
protest the feeling of being compared to an idealized memory.
Parents may be so thankful to have a child that they spoil him. They may try to compensate for the loss of his biological Child may become very spoiled and demanding. Eventually, he may resent or
ADOPTED CHILD
parents. idealize the biological parents.
ONLY BOY AMONG GIRLS Usually with women all the time, if father is away. May try to prove he is the man in the family, or become effeminate.
Can become very feminine, or a tomboy and outdo the brothers. May try to please
ONLY GIRL AMONG BOYS Older brothers may act as her protectors.
the father.
ALL BOYS If mother wanted a girl, can be dressed as a girl. Child may capitalize on assigned role or protest it vigorously.
ALL GIRLS May be dressed as a boy. Child may capitalize on assigned role or protest it vigorously.
8. Societal Emotional Process
Societal emotional process describes how the emotional system governs behavior on a societal level, promoting both progressive and
regressive periods in a society.
It refers to the tendency of people within a society to be more anxious and unstable at certain times than others. Environmental stressors
like overpopulation, scarcity of natural resources, epidemics, economic forces, and lack of skills for living in a diverse world are all
potential stressors that contribute to a regression in society.
“This premise, like the Multigenerational Transmission process, has serious implications for evolutionary psychology. The tenet, that
society mirrors the nuclear family process which, in turn, reflects the norms, morays and cultural artifacts of the societal whole posits an
interactive relationship with negative as well as positive trends. Community institutions, such as schools, courts, news outlets and political
bodies reflect the collective tension of a peoples and move to implement measures to reduce stress and reconcile anxiety. The ensuing
trends attempt to regulate broad tension within society and define what is permissible and acceptable at given times.” –d.peratsakis