Getting Out of My Box: Part 1 1

Getting Out of My Box: Part 1

Makayla Stucki

Sis. Carolyn Andrews

FAML 220: Parenting

July 4, 2020
Getting Out of My Box: Part 1 2

Notice the Indications of the Box

I have a heart of peace towards my sister. For the sake of this assignment, I will call her

Kate. Kate and I are close. We work together, share a room, and talk often. I feel that I have a

heart of peace towards her because we get along well most of the time. I see her as an individual

person with hopes, aspirations, interests, wants, and concerns. When I am with Kate, I often feel

happiness, amusement, and contentment; generally, I feel positive emotions when I am with her.

Sometimes, more so lately, I have a heart of war towards another sister; I’ll call her Jo.

All growing up, Jo and I had clashing personalities. This still happens today. I also share a room

with Jo. In my eyes, she is often messy, lazy, whiny, and irritating. I often find myself in the

boxes of “Better-than” and “I-deserve.” I feel better than her at times because I will have my bed

made, she won’t. I don’t whine very often, she does. I am willing to share my things with my

sisters, she isn’t as willing. These feelings objectify her. I tend to see her as less and annoying

when these things happen.

Find Out-of-the-Box Space

Even though I have a heart at war with Jo, I can find out-of-the-box space for her.

Changing the way that I see and think about her would help to create this space. Effort would be

needed. Taking the time to love and serve Jo would decrease my negative feelings towards her.

Loving, accepting, and having patience with her result from understanding and recognizing that

she is a daughter of God.

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Sacrifice on my part needs to be made. I can be prideful at times, so developing humility

would counter my prideful behaviors and actions towards Jo and my position inside the “Better-

than” box. Patience is also a sacrifice for me as I am not naturally patient.

Ponder the Situation Anew

Jo doesn’t seem to have many burdens, challenges, trials, or pains that she talks about or

that surface often. Jo plays soccer, and I think that she does have some burdens/trials that are

associated with that. Soccer is very competitive and her teammates are not always very kind on

the field. The coaches pick favorites and care more about winning than the girls themselves. Jo is

also a perfectionist, so when she is unable to get things right the first time, she gets frustrated and

gets down on herself. Another thing that I have noticed about Jo is that she gets easily distracted.

The majority of the people that are associated with Jo’s challenges are her coaches and

teammates. Because she is often distracted and doesn’t finish tasks, or takes a long time to do

them, my dad, as well as myself and my other family members, may contribute to her challenges.

I would say that we are contributing to these because we are a negative influence in her life. Her

coaches cause stress and frustration because-like stated before- they care more about winning

than the girls. The team members treat others less when they are on the field. Our family causes

frustration and negative feelings for her because we can all be impatient at times, and quarreling

is caused when family members aren’t doing what another wants/expects.

Jo, at times, is mistreated and neglected by outside and family influences. Because her

coaches pick favorites, Jo isn’t paid as much attention as those girls and isn’t given as much

recognition. While playing or practicing, her teammates neglect her and her athletic abilities.
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Within the home, pride and impatience cause her to be mistreated and sometimes her needs

-mental or physical- to be neglected. Jo is seen as an object in these situations. I know that I can

be a cause to the problem rather than a solution. My position inside of the “Better-than” and “I-

deserve” boxes interfere with possible solutions. Feelings of better-than come from pride and a

feeling of superiority which leads to the I- deserve justifications.

For Jo, I feel that I need to be more patient and loving than I already am. Instead of

asking her to do things in a demanding and demeaning way, I need to do so lovingly and in a

positive manner. If she has a rough day at soccer, then I can be uplifting and encouraging

towards her. Overall, I need to be humbler and kinder. I feel that doing these things would help

her because she would feel that I love, support, and accept her. I see her as an someone that has

challenges, feelings, and goals like everyone else.