Specs & Sneakers

Our tone of voice

What do
Arthur Daley
and Winston
Churchill have Unfortunately, us.

in common?
(Except cigars) We asked our customers what they pictured when they thought about William Hill.
The results weren’t pretty. Winston Churchill. Arthur Daley. An “old guy, counting
his money”.

Overall, the perception was that we’re not very progressive. Kind of corporate. Kind
of difficult to love.

That was one of the triggers that led to us defining a personality for our brand. The
other was a truth about our industry: betting and gaming brands veer between
being beige and being laddish. William Hill needs to be neither. We need to be
distinctive.

Distinctiveness is powerful. It helps customers to remember an offer, make a choice

and open one app over another.
Our personality
will make
us stand out.
Standing We’re
out. different.
Take a look at these bits of writing from three of our competitors: That’s what this tone of voice is all about. It’ll help us build a brand that’s distinctive,
and that people choose not just because of the odds we offer but because they’d
rather spend their money with us than anyone else.
Paddy Power We remain pioneers – committed to providing customers with an ever
more entertaining betting experience, on ever more platforms, in ever more For that to happen, we need to use it consistently across every single bit of
markets. communication.

Ladbrokes 
We aim to provide our customers with a fun experience whenever and Not just the high profile things like window posters, job ads and TV ads, but also
however they choose to play with us. From our shops to our website, mobile things like terms and conditions, internal briefings and responsibility guidelines.
app and phone services, we make betting and gaming simple and enjoyable.
We aren’t going to get there overnight. But if we all follow these guidelines,
Bet 365 Innovation continues to be the lifeblood of our business. Our team of eventually we’ll make sure our brand stands out. And it might make writing a bit
developers work in-house to provide the technological advances that enable more enjoyable, too.
us to keep ahead of the competition. We pride ourselves on providing first
class customer service wherever they are in the world. We employ an excellent
Customer Service team to assist in all of the languages that we offer.

There’s no personality. They all sound exactly the same, and without the names you
wouldn’t have a clue who’s who.
Our
goals.
Our place
in the market.
Funny

We’re the original betting superbrand.

We aren’t going to follow the trend of copying Paddy’s

– it’s not us and it’s derivative.

There’s a clear gap in the market – for our smarter,

sharper brand of writing.
Smart Laddish

Serious
Our
tone
of
voice.
Our tone
Wearing our
of voice.
specs and sneakers.

(The knowledge) (The unexpected)

The specs represent knowledge. We’re the experts in our industry, and a lot of Knowledge on its own could be a bit cold, or dull. So we couple the specs with
our customers are experts, too – or, at least, enthusiasts. By showing that we sneakers – a touch of the unexpected in our writing.
know our stuff, we’re giving readers something they value.
So here's how we
wear them.

(The knowledge) (The unexpected)

1. Know why you’re writing, before you start. 1.  Write more like you speak. If you couldn’t happily read it aloud, do it again
until you could.
2. Drop in geeky facts and stats. Things your reader might repeat in the pub.
2. Ditch the clichés, paint a picture.
3. Make the headlines matter. Choose clear, or intriguing.
3. Add a touch of sharp wit. The element of the unexpected, not the laddish
4. Answer questions, don’t always ask them. #bants.
5. Keep it short.
Together.

We need to put on our specs and sneakers, all the

time. Not one or the other.

These guidelines explain how to do it.

 The Specs
We know associating specs with knowledge is a cliché. But, surprisingly, it turns out to be true
Know 1
# Know why you’re writing.
(Before you start)

Whenever we write, the starting point always has to be: what does my reader need to

Feel
get from this?

To figure that out, we use the Know, Feel, Do test. If you can’t answer these
questions, you’re not ready to start writing:

Know What does my reader need to know?

What’s the key piece of information that we need them to grasp? If there are several,
which is most important?

Feel How do I want them to feel?

Do
Maybe it’s about reassurance. Or feeling interested in something we can do for them.

Do Is there anything I need them to do?

Is there a deadline for something? Do we need information from the reader? (If there
isn’t anything that the reader needs to do, sometimes it’s nice to tell them that.)

Know, Feel, Do is a sieve for what you need – and what you don’t.

If you aren’t clear on what you want to say, you can’t expect your reader to take any
notice when you say it.

Be strict with yourself. If it isn’t clearly relevant, cut it out.

#
2 Drop in geeky facts and stats.
(Things your reader might repeat in the pub)

Facts and stats from the outside world.

Sport doesn’t suffer from a lack of analysis and reportage. Our role is to pick (or create)
the most interesting bits. Give information that our readers wouldn’t get from others
in the industry, or from news sites. The information that you could imagine repeating
in a conversation, after you’ve read it. A form of social currency, that people value.
So don’t say this: Kuznetsova loses in the 2nd.

Say this: Kuznetsova loses all but three of her service points in the 2nd.

It works internally too. If you can see a way to give your readers a little more information
to help them out or entertain them, go for it.
So instead of this: Filling in the survey shouldn’t take long.

Try this: Filling in the survey takes 5 minutes and 7 seconds (we’ve checked).

Facts and stats from William Hill.

We’re a business full of betting, gaming and sport experts. We’ve got plenty of data
about where the money’s going, and every price we push out is effectively a comment
on an event. So we can speak authoritatively with information from our own customers.
Like this: We’ve had 16 people going for this 5000/1 shot in the last week.

Or this: 55% of people who back the favourite at Belle Vue come away richer.
 #
3 Make the headlines matter.
(Choose clear, or intriguing)

Clear headline Intriguing headline Headlines are the most powerful tool we have for reeling in readers. Most people
will read a headline - and at that point decide whether they'll continue reading.

Clear headlines.
Complete the circle, telling your readers everything they need to know.

Intriguing headlines.
Give your readers a snippet of information that’ll make them want to read on
and fill in the rest.

Both types are useful in different ways. As a rule:

• If your readers will want to read what you’ve got to say, go for a clear headline.
A headline is like a circle. The circle can be complete, or
incomplete. And headlines can be clear, or intriguing. • If you think you need to persuade them to start reading, go for intrigue.
#
3 Make headlines matter.
(Choose clear, or intriguing)

Clear headlines.
Say what you want people to know:

Up to 20 free spins could be yours.

Or do:

Claim. Spin. Rack up the credits.

Intriguing headlines.
There are countless ways to be intriguing, but we do it by starting in an unexpected
place. So if you were writing about the Euro 2016 final, which suffered from an
invasion of moths, you could start with this:

The moths, the moths.

If you were writing a job ad for a helpdesk operator and wanted to paint a picture of
some of the challenges they’ll face, you could say:

The starting gun exploded, and our IT went down.

If you were writing to our retail teams about a tempting new offer, you could say:

A note on
odds and offers.
And then they barged the door down. When it comes to odds and
offers, people don’t want to mess
around. So just put them straight
Reference something familiar in a surprising way (in this case, the game Pig Wizard):
 in the headline.

This little piggy went to Vegas.

#
4 Answer questions.
(Don’t always ask them)

A lot of the time, we yell questions into the ether. It’s a clichéd technique for sparking
debate – and it’s tired.

Here are a few examples from Sky Bet’s Twitter feed:


Sensational Silva? David Silva to score & #ESP to beat #ITA in 90 mins, was 5/1 NOW 7/1

Pelle & Pique to make their presence felt? We have a 14/1 top #RequestABet for #ITA v #ESP

Novak Djokovic beats James Ward 6-0, 7-6, 6-4 on day one of #Wimbledon. Can he retain his
title?

The thing is, nobody’s better placed to answer these questions than us. So use facts,
stats and observations to do just that:

Question: Will Hamilton win?

Insight: Hamilton’s Silverstone record is second only to Jim Clark and Alain Prost.

Question: What are the chances of an upset?

Insight:  Unseeded players win all the time. They’ve even taken home the trophy twice.

Question: Can Ronaldo claim his third Ballon d’Or?

Insight: Ronaldo scored more goals than Messi last season. And he captained Portugal
to Euro 2016 (and moonlighted as their coach in the final, too).
 5
Good
# Keep it short.
(This isn’t your breakthrough novel)

We want to give detail, where it’s useful. But don’t overdo it.
writers
don’t just ‘craft’
good words. They ask, what’s
If you start off assuming that your reader doesn’t want to
read your writing, that’ll help.

It means you’ll focus you on making it super easy to

comprehend – or brilliant enough for them to want
to read every last word.
the story here?’ Find the story, and
ruthlessly cut everything else. Too often in
business we try to say everything. We put in all the
detail, so we look thorough or clever. But go on too long,
without really getting to the argument, talking without
really saying anything, on the one hand beating around the bush while at the same time… zzz
z
#
5 Keep it short.
(Some techniques to help you get to the point)

Decide what to include, and put it in order.

You’ve started the process with Know, Feel, Do. Now you need to rank those points,
from most to least important.

Put the most important point first. The second most important goes second. And
so on. It’s a simple trick to help you to cut out the redundant sentences that are
designed to tee up, introduce, welcome, position...but generally just bloat your
wording.

Vary the length of your sentences.

A typical sentence is said to be about 24 words - but stick several of those sentences
one after another and your reader will get bored and switch off. Same goes for
shorter sentences. They’ll get samey and staccato if used one after another. So, mix
it up.

Don’t shoehorn odds into a sentence.

Part of keeping it short is stripping out unnecessary information. We give odds
without extra words. Just the relevant insight, and the numbers. Like this:

Peter Sagan’s in the zone. 9/4.

Not “and we’ve got him at a staggering 9/4”. No rigmarole at all. That formula, if we
use it consistently, will become recognisably William Hill.
The
Sneakers
 1
# Write more like you speak.
(Normal, not formal)

There’s a huge difference between the way we speak and the way we write at
work. When we speak, we sound normal. But when we write, we come over all
formal.

There’s absolutely no benefit to doing this. Formal writing is hard to understand,

and easy to ignore. By writing more like we speak, we’ll come across warmer and
better understood.

The first trick is to read it aloud. If it sounds odd, you speed up as you read it or
you find yourself putting on a funny voice to do it then you need to look at what’s
wrong with the writing.

It'll probably be one of these culprits:

• Obscure words that we wouldn’t say out loud

• Frothy adjectives
• Using the passive voice
• Talking in concepts or jargon, not in real things
• Really long sentences

If we cut these out, we’ll sound like humans. And connect better with our readers.
 1
# Write more like you speak.
(Get active, by ditching the passive)

“Mistakes were made”

"A meeting was held”
“A decision was taken”
We only speak like this when we’ve got something to hide. When we want to take
the people out of the equation (or duck responsibility). It’s cold, and that bit more
difficult to understand. They’re all in the passive voice. We want to use the active:
“we made a mistake, we’re having a meeting, I’ve decided”. Put the person back
into the sentence.

If you’re not sure whether or not a sentence is passive, add ‘by monkeys’ to the end.
If it makes grammatical sense, the sentence is passive. If it doesn’t, the sentence is
active.

Like this:

The sentence was written by monkeys - this makes grammatical sense, so it’s passive.

She wrote the sentence by monkeys - this doesn’t make grammatical sense, so it’s active.
 1
# Write more like you speak.
(The readability checker)

Readability checker.
Microsoft Word comes with a basic readability checker installed. It looks at the
complexity of vocab and length of sentences. When you run a spellcheck on your
writing, work your way through to the end. Then you’ll get this pop-up:

You’re aiming for a readability score higher than 60, but lower than 80. If it’s too
high, the writing’s become overly blunt and childlike.
 1
# Write more like you speak.
(Read it aloud)

Read it aloud - so good we included it twice.

Reading your work out loud helps you to catch excessive adjectives. If you catch
yourself putting on a silly voice, like a gameshow host, go back and rewrite it.

And if you’re still not sure, check it with a colleague (or even someone outside work, for
an external perspective). Ask them to give you their thoughts on the content (what it
says), structure (the order it’s in) and tone (how it sounds).
#
2 Ditch the clichés.
(Overused words are boring)

Fantastic Incredible Amazing Wonderful Simply Passionate Expert Don’t miss out A wealth
of Raising the bar Kicks off Industry leading Apologies for the… Reach out Deliverables
Innovate Instrumental Innovative Let’s action this COP Going forward Touch base To
champion Catch up Put a pin in it Hard stop Leading edge Thrills and spills Amazing prizes!
And that’s not all Fantastic Incredible Amazing Wonderful Simply Passionate Expert Don’t
miss out A wealth of Raising the bar Kicks off Industry leading Apologies for the… Reach out
Deliverables Innovate Instrumental Innovative Let’s action this COP Going forward Touch
base To champion Catch up Put a pin in it Hard stop Leading edge Thrills and spills Amazing
prizes! And that’s not all Fantastic Incredible Amazing Wonderful Simply Passionate
Expert Don’t miss out A wealth of Raising the bar Kicks off Industry leading Apologies
for the… Reach out Deliverables Innovate Instrumental Innovative Let’s action this COP
Going forward Touch base To champion Catch up Put a pin in it Hard stop Leading edge
Thrills and spills Amazing prizes! And that’s not all Fantastic Incredible Amazing Wonderful
When you’re trying to make something sound exciting, there’s a temptation to throw Simply Passionate Expert Don’t miss out A wealth of Raising the bar Kicks off Industry
in vague adjectives and salesy clichés. leading Apologies for the… Reach out Deliverables Innovate Instrumental Innovative Let’s
action this COP Going forward Touch base To champion Catch up Put a pin in it Hard
stop Leading edge Thrills and spills Amazing prizes! And that’s not all Fantastic Incredible
Amazing Wonderful Simply Passionate Expert Don’t miss out A wealth of Raising the bar
Kicks off Industry leading Apologies for the… Reach out Deliverables Innovate Instrumental
Simply download our app to get started. Innovative Let’s action this COP Going forward Touch base To champion Catch up Put
a pin in it Hard stop Leading edge Thrills and spills Amazing prizes! And that’s not all
Fantastic Incredible Amazing Wonderful Simply Passionate Expert Don’t miss out A wealth
of Raising the bar Kicks off Industry leading Apologies for the… Reach out Deliverables

From Crayford to Sunderland, we’ve got the odds.
Whether you’re an app guru or web novice, we’ve
got the answers.
Innovate Instrumental Innovative Let’s action this COP Going forward Touch base To
champion Catch up Put a pin in it Hard stop Leading edge Thrills and spills Amazing prizes!
And that’s not all Fantastic Incredible Amazing Wonderful Simply Passionate Expert Don’t
miss out A wealth of Raising the bar Kicks off Industry leading Apologies for the… Reach out
Deliverables Innovate Instrumental Innovative Let’s action this COP Going forward Touch
base To champion Catch up Put a pin in it Hard stop Leading edge Thrills and spills Amazing
prizes! And that’s not all Fantastic Incredible Amazing Wonderful Simply Passionate
Expert Don’t miss out A wealth of Raising the bar Kicks off Industry leading Apologies for
the… Reach out Deliverables Innovate Instrumental Innovative Let’s action this COP Going
forward Touch base To champion Catch up Put a pin in it Hard stop Leading edge Thrills
and spills Amazing prizes! And that’s not all

Resist the temptation.

#
2 Ditch the clichés.
(The as opposed to? test)

Clichés and vague, empty adjectives. They’re everywhere you look, particularly in
sport. Avoid them. Give people concrete information that paints a picture of the
reality of sport instead.

Clichéd Real

The passionate crowd ................................................They sang Seven Nation Army for the full 90

A beautiful section of the Tour..................................The route is 215km of castles and cathedrals

The tension was palpable ..........................................A man coughed in Row Z

An incredible stadium .................................................The stadium seats 80,000, and it’s visible from space

They’re in a league of their own................................They zip the ball from scrum to wing like it’s on a conveyor belt

Farah overcame adversity to win ............................Farah fell down, got up and won

Test yourself - As opposed to?

Adjectives tend to pepper our writing at work. Sometimes we use adjectives that are
redundant, and the reader switches off. To avoid this, look at what you’ve written
and see if it passes the “as opposed to?” test.

Example:

“our expert customer service assistants” as opposed to our amateur customer service assistants?

“our thrilling games” as opposed to our dull games?

#
2 Ditch the clichés.
(Exclamation marks are banned).

Something that often goes along with adjectives is the exclamation mark. Putting it
at the end of a sentence doesn’t automatically make that sentence exciting. And if
you feel you need to use them, the odds are your writing isn’t working hard enough.

So drop them, unless you’re actually exclaiming (Ouch!; Disaster!).

"An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald
#
3 Add a touch of sharp wit.
(The three kinds that work for us)

For us, wit is all about a touch of the unexpected. There’s a time and a place.
The best one-liners at the Edinburgh Fringe (there's a list here) all have something Wit only works in moderation, and
in common: a twist. Starting in one place, and going somewhere unexpected. when the context is right.

We're not comedians, but we want to borrow some of that unexpectedness. It’s definitely OK to be witty on a
poster in one of our shop windows,
There are three ways in which we can flash a bit of sharp wit: or in an email to colleagues about
a team outing. But it’s not a good
idea to do it in terms and conditions
1. Leave something unsaid or more serious colleague comms.

If you’re struggling, it can really help

2. Contradict conventional wisdom to play on an image. You could pick
out a tiny detail that nobody else
would notice, for instance. Make up
3. Make observations an unexpected context. Or even treat
it like a caption competition.
#
3 Add a touch of sharp wit.
(The three kinds that work for us)
And here are some examples:
1. Leave something unsaid
(leaving the circle open, for the reader to close).
Instead of: 
For the best odds and bonuses on just about
every imaginable sport, William Hill is your
address.
Go with: For the best odds and bonuses, go to
Oddschecker.
Bet we know who’ll come out on top.
Why: This is unexpected because nobody would
expect us to tell them to go somewhere else
for their odds.
2. Contradict conventional wisdom
(don't just say what everyone expects you to say).
Instead of: For the best odds and bonuses on just about
every imaginable sport, William Hill is your
address.
Go with: With everybody price matching, there’s
no such thing as ‘the best odds’. But there
is such a thing as ‘the one everyone else
follows’.
Why: This is unexpected because we’re rejecting
something that’s universally accepted (the
idea of ‘the best odds’).
3. Make observations
(show that you’re thinking what they’re thinking).
Instead of:  or the best odds and bonuses on just about
F
every imaginable sport, William Hill is your
address.
Go with: 
If there isn’t a William Hill nearby*, just go
online. *Except there will be.
Why: T
 his subverts the typical way brands sell.
The first sentence looks like a standard
bit of selling, but the footnote turns that
around.
#
3 Add a touch of sharp wit.
(But avoid the laddish #bants)

We don’t do bants.
In our industry pretty much all the humour comes from a ‘lads lads lads’ mentality.
It’s try-hard, nasty or stuck in the Stone Age (sometimes even bordering on racism,
sexism and other isms). Avoid all three.

Here’s what we mean by try-hard:

 nd like some kind of French football crazed Father Christmas, we’re gifting you with the best
A
Euro 2016 offers in the business! (Paddy Power)

When Hal Robson-Kanu put the Welsh ahead after 55, the customer (and Paddy) would’ve
been sweating. (Paddy Power)

Klopp with no tie on Monday Night Football??? What is this? Does he not know the rules.
(Paddy Power)

Here’s what we mean by nasty:

Dear France. Please, please, please beat Portugal, and make Ronaldo cry. Cry salty, salty tears.
(Paddy Power)

(To a Cesc lookalike) If Cesc Fabregas and Yogi Bear had a lovechild, I could see where you’re
coming from. (William Hill)

Sent the Croats and their dodgy barnets crashing out. (William Hill)

And here’s what we mean by stuck in the Stone Age:

Lads, TAHITI is a great nickname for your missus if she's always kicking off every 10 minutes!
(Ladbrokes)
The Sneaker For our brand, wearing our sneakers
represents breaking with convention.
effect. Harvard Business School proved that
people who subvert the dress code in
their industry were perceived as better
at what they do. They called it the
“red* sneaker effect”.

We call it being confident enough to

stand out.

(*Ours are yellow).

Read the full red sneaker effect paper, here.

The full
picture.

The knowledge: The unexpected:

1. Know why you’re writing, before you start.
2. Drop in geeky facts and stats. Things your reader
might repeat in the pub.
3. M
 ake the headlines matter. Choose clear, or
intriguing.
4. Answer questions, don’t always ask them.
1. W
 rite more like you speak. If you couldn’t
happily read it aloud, do it again until you
could.
2. Ditch the clichés, paint a picture.
3. A
 dd a touch of sharp wit. The element of
the unexpected, not the laddish #bants.

5. Keep it short.
And another thing: Critiquing 101.
Critiquing is meant to improve the writing, and the writer.
Subjective, vague feedback doesn’t do either of those things.
Instead, focus on these three areas:
Content: Have they said what needed to say (based on the brief)? Can it
be cut down? Does it need to be clearer?
Structure: 
Is the most important point first? Does each point appear in
order of importance? Can they cut down long sentences, or
introduce a bit of variety?
Tone: Does it evoke the right feeling when you read it? Does it sound
normal or formal? Is it in line with our tone of voice?
Before you give any feedback, follow these steps:
Step one: get the brief
Who’s the audience and what does the writer want them to know, feel and do?
Step two: skim read
Read it once through quickly to let your reader brain react to it ( jot down how you
felt – can you sum up your first thoughts in a sentence or two? Was it a bit boring?
Did you get lost halfway through? Does something contradict another thing?)
Step three: slow read
Read again, working out what it was you were reacting to on your first read – mark
up pieces that are working for you with a tick and any parts that aren’t with a
squiggle.
Step four: theme your thoughts
Put your feedback into sections – Content, Structure Tone. Then turn your
observations into actions, like suggesting that a sentence moves to active voice, or
suggesting an alternative word.
Step five: give the feedback
( )
The "after" examples might feature made-up facts.
Don't copy and paste them into your work.

Before and
after.
A press release.

Before. After.
Trump Officially Running For Office – Originally 100/1 To Do So Trump’s officially running for office. Odds in March last year? 100/1.

Donald Trump was formally nominated as the Republican candidate in the Presidential race and it
marked the end of quite an incredible race for the man who was originally started off as a 100/1 shot to
do so.
It also marks the start of the home straight in the race to become President for which Trump is now
just 7/4 with William Hill, having been 150/1 when he first entered the betting.
The Republicans have signed the papers that cement Donald Trump as their candidate in the
Presidential race.
Clearly, 100/1 shots do come in. But to put the unlikeliness of it all in context, we've got Riyad
Mahrez at that price to claim this year's Ballon d'Or.
Trump's odds on making it to the White House have shortened dramatically, too. He started at
150/1, and we've got him at 7/4 right now.

What’s changed.

Specs Sneakers
We’ve included the stat about Mahrez to put the news in context. And in the headline, we’ve put We’ve scattered a few bits of concreteness throughout: papers, Ballon d’Or, White House.
the odds in a sentence of their own.
A welcome email.

Before. After.
We’re really pleased that you’ve chosen to open an account with us. Thanks for joining us.

Your username is: Name Your username: Name

Forgotten your password? Click here for a reminder. Forgotten your password? Get a reminder.

You can now get the best out of sports betting from your mobile, If you’re reading this on your phone, you’ll probably want to download our app. It’ll buzz you when
tablet or PC with our market leading app and website. the best odds come in.

Continue Get started

What’s changed.

Specs Sneakers
We’ve given some extra pub knowledge with the extra fact about the app "It’ll buzz you when the There’s plenty of concrete language now, like phone and buzz.
best odds come in".
We’ve also cut out the detail about devices and the website. People know they can use their
mobile, tablet or PC.
And if they’re getting this email, they know we’ve got a website too.
Our ‘about us’ text.
Before.
Founded in 1934, William Hill is one of the most trusted brands in our marketplace, attracting millions of
customers from around the world.
Employing more than 16,000 people in nine countries, we continue to transform our business, investing in
new technology and innovation, and extending our vast product range to capture substantial growth and
opportunities.
In addition to the UK Retail and Australia markets, our online business is headquartered in Gibraltar with its
marketing and customer service functions in Israel, Bulgaria and the Philippines. We also have licensed websites
in Italy and Spain, and William Hill US operates in the states of Nevada and Delaware.
It is a competitive industry and we are constantly innovating to stay ahead. We are using the cash generated by
retail to invest in growth opportunities in digital and international markets.
We are using our scale to promote our brand and to pioneer technology to deliver outstanding customer
experiences.
Vitally, we understand the critical role we play in encouraging our customers to gamble responsibly with the best
experience available.
What’s changed.
Specs
We’ve given people a snippet of extra information about us (12 ex-professional tennis players, 15
lower league referees and one Olympian). And we’ve cut out 65 words.
After.
In 1934 there was one of us: William himself. He’d started his bookmaking career from the seat of his
motorbike, circling Birmingham to pick up bets.
Soon he’d made enough money to rent an office on Jermyn Street in London, and business boomed.
Today there are more than 16,000 of us, including 12 ex-professional tennis players, 15 lower league
referees and one Olympian. And we all follow in William’s footsteps.
So we never stop moving. Right now we’re focusing on breaking into new countries, and on building
the technology you want. You’ll hear the same from everyone else, but it’s our responsibility to get
there first.
Sneakers
We’ve relaxed the language. The original got a little formal at times, so we’ve written more like we
speak to warm it up. "We continue to transform our business", for instance, becomes "So we never
stop moving".
Also, words like motorbike, Birmingham, Jermyn Street and office all paint a vivid picture of our
beginnings. And we’ve added a touch of wit: nobody would expect us to say "You’ll hear the same
from everyone else".
Offer Ts & Cs.

Before. After.
£10 must be staked to be eligible for this offer. Customer will receive £100 cash if all three selections You can enter by staking £10. What you get back depends on what happens next:
in the daily treble are successful. A £20 free bet will be rewarded if two of the selections are
successful, and a £10 free bet will be rewarded if one is successful. Maximum free bet per customer, 1. If all three legs come through, you’ll get £100 cash.
per day is £20. Customer has 7 days to claim a free bet, and must place the free bet the same day 2. If two come through, you’ll get £20 credit.
it is claimed. The free bet stake will not be included in any returns. William Hill rules apply. Over 18s 3. If one comes through, you’ll get £10 credit.
only. Ask inside for details.
All our usual rules apply, as well as these.

You’ll have seven days to claim your credit, and you’ll need to use it on the same day.
You can only get one lot of credit a day.
You won’t get the credit back as part of any winnings.

What’s changed.

Specs
There’s no call for pub knowledge in Ts & Cs, but all the other guidelines apply. We’ve used the
language of betting (legs; stake). And we’ve cut the word count by getting rid of some unnecessary
details. For instance, we didn’t need the bit about being over 18 because it’s part of our usual rules.
Sneakers
This isn’t the place for wit. But we’ve kept it warm by writing more like we speak: switching passive
sentences to active ones: "£10 must be staked" becomes "You can enter by staking £10", using
more natural language so that “receive” and “rewarded" both become “get", and talking to "you",
not “customers”.
A marketing poster.

Before. After.
The Euros England Free Bet Special They win. You win.
Get a £5 free bet every time England win a match, when you bet £10 If qualifying’s anything to go by, this is the year to stake £10 on England winning the Euros. And if
on England winning the Euros. you do, we’ll give you a £5 free bet each time they win a game.

What’s changed.

Specs Sneakers
We’ve brought in a few stats to help people make a decision about whether the offer’s for them. We’ve mentioned goals and games to keep it concrete.
And we’ve used the language of betting (stake).
An offer email.

Before. After.
There are fantastic live games waiting for you at William Hill Live Casino! Explore spectacular real dealer Why trek to a casino when there’s a perfectly good one in your living room?
games including Live Roulette, Live Blackjack, Live Baccarat and Live Casino Hold 'em with a £25 New
If you’ve never tried our Live Casino, with real dealers playing in real time, there’s £25 waiting for you
Player Bonus.
on the door. Last year people won £XXXXX, all from their own sofas.
To claim your bonus simply do the following:
Here’s how to join in:
1. Deposit a minimum of £25
1. Deposit at least £25.
2. Play through your deposit 8 times
2. Play eight times with that money.
3. Contact our customer service to get your £25!
3. Get in touch with us. Our details are below.
Continue
You’ll be playing Live Roulette, Live Blackjack, Live Baccarat and Live Casino Hold’ em in no time.
Need help? Our Customer Services team is available 24/7 via Live Chat, email support@willhill.com or
How to claim your prize
Freephone 0800 085 6296.
Once you’ve played away your deposit, get in touch with us. We’re on Live Chat any time day or night.
The William Hill Live Casino Team
You can also email us at support@willhill.com or call us for free on 0800 085 6296.

What’s changed.

Specs Sneakers
Talking about how much people won last year gives people a bit of pub knowledge. Instead of talking about how fantastic and spectacular the casino is, we’ve used concrete words,
like living room, sofas and on the door. We’ve also cut out those exclamation marks. And we’ve
added a touch of wit with the unexpectedness of "there’s a perfectly good casino in your living
room".
A briefer.

Before. After.
February is upon us and the Jumps season is well and truly underway! So to celebrate this, and to It’s jumps season, so here’s something to tantalise racing fans. We’ll be announcing a price
reassure your customers that William Hill is the only place to be for Racing value, we will be offering enhancement every hour from 12 noon to 3pm, seven days a week.
your customers fantastic hourly price enhancements. To be more precise, we are offering your
It all starts on Monday 8th February and lasts until Sunday 6th March. Last time we ran an offer like
customers FOUR amazing enhancements every single day!
this we got a 31.4% spike in bets, so make sure you tell everyone who comes through your doors.
These offers will be announced every hour from 12 noon to 3pm, 7 days a week, from Monday 8th
February to Sunday 6th March. Each offer will be for a limited time only, so your customers will need to
be quick to make sure they make the most of these simply incredible offers.

What’s changed.

Specs Sneakers
We’ve included a fact about the power of price enhancements to encourage people to push them. We’ve made it concrete by talking about everyone who comes through your doors. And once again
We’ve used the language of betting (price enhancements). And we’ve cut the word count to help we’ve taken out all the exclamation marks.
our busy shop staff.
Our YouTube intro.
Before.
William Hill is the UK's most respected bookmaker with over 2,400 stores nationwide in addition to one
of the world's largest online Sportsbooks and gaming networks. To support our innovative and industry
leading betting and gambling experience we bring our customers the expert analysis and opinion they
need to make an informed decision on the outcome of a game. Through YouTube we aim to bring that
information to the viewers with the assistance of our sports ambassadors, such as Robbie Savage and
AP McCoy, and our in-house team at William Hill Radio and William Hill TV.
What’s changed.
Specs
We’ve crammed in a ton of stats people can take to the pub. And we’ve cut about 20 words,
because nobody likes reading an intro.
After.
AP McCoy: champion jockey 20 times and holder of three Guinness World Records.
Robbie Savage: veteran of 662 appearances for club and country. And he only got two red cards.
The William Hill Radio and TV teams: 167 years of number-crunching knowledge between them.
We’ve put together a crack team to give you all the insider knowhow you need to get the edge on
the rest of the betting world.
Happy watching.
Sneakers
We’ve written more like we speak; the original had quite a few formal phrases in it, like this one:
"To support our innovative and industry leading betting and gambling experience".
There’s also plenty of concrete language. Like "jockey" and "two red cards". And we've put in a
touch of wit, via "And he only got two red cards". Most people think of Robbie Savage as being a
tough player, but you wouldn’t expect William Hill to mention it.
A job ad.

Before. After.
Retail Fraud Checkers use EPoS, CCTV and supplier systems to investigate cases of suspicious betting and Our very own Sherlock.
gaming activity, as directed by the Fraud Supervisor.
Problem-solver. Protector. Investigator. Or a Retail Fraud Checker as we call it internally - protecting our brand
Successful applicants will work closely with the Fraud Analysts to ensure that any resulting investigations are
and our company assets. We provide our colleagues with a safe and secure environment, and you’ll be an
progressed to a timely and impartial conclusion
important part of maintaining that – discovering and investigating potential threats should they arise.

What’s changed.
Specs Sneakers
Specs
We've talked about the number of games, specifically. Sneakers
We've talked in more straightforward language - talking about 'breaking' the games as opposed to
We've used a about
We've talked pithy headline.
the number of games, specifically. 'effective andinefficient'
We've talked game releases.language - talking about "breaking" the games as opposed
more straightforward
We've used a pithy headline. to "effective and efficient" game releases.
Our responsibility guidelines.

Before. After.
Responsible gambling Gambling should be fun
Help and support
For 99.9% of people it is. But for the other 0.1% it can turn into an addiction.
Gambling is an exciting form of entertainment which, when taking place in the social environment of a licensed
betting office, should be harmless fun and entertainment. That can have serious consequences. The worst sufferers might gamble away every last penny.
They might end up borrowing money to fund their habit, and even neglecting themselves and their
For the great majority of people who use betting offices, gambling is an enjoyable pursuit. For a very small loved ones.
number however, there may be problems and gambling can cease to be fun.
If you think you might have a problem or you’re worried about someone close to you, you’re not
Gambling may be a problem for people who:
alone. Call the National Gambling Helpline on 0808 8020 133.
• Continue to gamble until all their money is gone.
• Borrow money to continue gambling.
• Due to their gambling, neglect the welfare of themselves and their family.
• Feel unable to take breaks when gambling for prolonged periods of time.
If you think that you may have a gambling problem, or someone close to you is experiencing a problem,
assistance and support is available. Call the National Gambling Helpline operated by Gamcare, the leading
provider for information, advice and practical help for anyone affected by problem gambling.

What’s changed.

Specs Sneakers
We’ve included the percentages at the beginning to emphasise that gambling should be fun. Although the topic is serious, the tone doesn’t have to be formal. So we’ve written more like we
speak, changing or cutting words like "social environment", "cease", "experiencing a problem" and
"assistance and support is available". We’ve also made it concrete by talking about "every last
penny".
Talk to us.

If you need any help, please give us a shout:

brand@williamhill.com. And do join the Yammer
group “Tone of Voice”. It’s a lively place to share
writing examples, have debates about language
and get tips and support on your own writing.
Practical
tools.

The knowledge: The unexpected:

(Know Feel Do) (Read it aloud)
(…by monkeys)
(Readability checker)
(As opposed to?)