7 Steps to Nurturing Your Inner Self

huffpost.com/entry/is-your-inner-child-under_b_710499

September 11,
2010

Many people don't treat themselves very well. They break promises to themselves, eat
poorly, don't get enough sleep, are self-critical or fail to take good care of their bodies. In
fact, if most people treated others the way they treat themselves, they wouldn't have many
friends!

A great technique for treating yourself better is by developing your Inner Nurturing Parent.
Imagine you had a little child in your care. You'd make every effort to keep her healthy and
safe; to love and support her; to be forgiving of her mistakes, her inevitable slips; and to let
her know how precious and important she is. That's what a loving parent does. Only, in this
case, you're the parent and the child. Below are seven ways to strengthen your own Inner
Nurturing Parent, and turn the goal of treating yourself better into daily, living action.

Send loving messages to yourself. Tell yourself, "I love you and appreciate who you are."
When you do something well, give yourself a pat on the back. Say, "Great job! I'm so proud
of you." When you're struggling or feeling low, be supportive by saying, "I'm here for you.
You're not alone."

Take good care of yourself. A loving parent would make sure you eat right and get plenty
of rest, sleep, fresh air and exercise. Keep yourself healthy and fit. Practicing good self-care
is an essential part of this process.

Do nice things for yourself. Get into the habit of doing special things for yourself. Make
yourself a cup of tea with the nurturing energy that you'd have when preparing tea for
someone you love. Visit the sauna, get a massage or draw yourself a bath filled with special
salts. Linger in it and relax. Make yourself a candlelight dinner -- a delicious meal in a special
setting. Coddle yourself. Treat yourself as a loving parent would treat you.

Set healthy boundaries with others. Let people know what you want and don't want. Tell
them what's okay for you and what's not. If you have a friend who's always late and you end
up waiting for her and feeling annoyed, tell her how you feel. A nurturing parent wouldn't
let someone treat you badly. A loving parent makes sure his or her child's needs are met.

Become your own advocate. If someone is disrespectful or hurtful to you, speak up. Tell
them you don't want to be spoken to that way. If someone was unkind, hostile or verbally
abusive to your child, you'd stand up for him. Protect yourself as a nurturing parent would
protect you.

1/2
Believe in yourself. A nurturing parent would highlight your uniqueness, tell you how
special you are, encourage you to build on your strengths and support you in a loving,
nonjudgmental way. A nurturing parent says, "You can do it." "I believe in you." Become
your strongest supporter, coach and cheerleader.

And lastly and most important: Be compassionate with yourself. Have compassion for
your humanity and your flaws. You're human and you're going to make mistakes. Look at
yourself through the eyes of a loving parent; don't punish or criticize yourself. Reassure
yourself. Comfort yourself. Accept yourself unconditionally. And show that same
compassion for your own parents and others, because they, too, are human.

2/2