I think your thesis statement points your paper in the right direction that you want to take it.

Hunting is intended to help us survive, period. However, I think you come off too aggressive
when addressing domestic hunters. Although they do not need to hunt it helps them save money
and meat is expensive. You did a good job of transitioning from introducing what you were
arguing against then next paragraph starting the argument. Through the body you do a great job
of connecting to the readers pathos by describing the process of trophy hunting and how its
affected different species. The main thing to work on is your counter argument. Add some
supporting claims by looking for possible benefits of trophy hunting, looking to share their exact
perspective as well.