Respect matters. It is a critical concept for children to understand and act upon.

The first
place they begin to learn about respect is in the home. They are expected to show
respect to their parents from a young age, but the best way they learn how is through
how their parents.

Should parents respect their children? Yes. Parents should respect their child
because the relationship a child has with their parents has a profound impact on
the child’s development. Parents serve as the first and most important role model
for everything a child does now and later in life. They have the power to show
their kids how to treat others and themselves.

Parents who intentionally model appropriate behavior daily for their kids are more likely
to facilitate the development of well-adjusted young adults who know how and why they
should treat others well. It’s not always easy to do for a parent, but the payoff is worth it.
Those who stay the course and set a high standard for personal character and behavior
get rewarded later on.

Why Parents Should Show Respect to Their Child

The role and impact of the parent in a child’s life cannot be overstated. The parent will
serve as the main example for the person the child ultimately become. As such, parents
should be keenly aware of the impact they will have on their child’s development. Here
are some of the key reasons why parents should respect their child:

 Your Voice Becomes Their Inner Voice

 Respect Creates the Basis for Your Image
 Respect Creates the Basis for Their Image
 Respect Shapes Their Internal Compass
 Other People Will Respect Your Child When They Feel Respected
 You Will Be Proud of the Person Your Child Becomes

Your Voice Becomes Their Inner Voice

Children learn how to react to situations from those around them. There is no one they
learn more from than their parents. We program them, and they learn how to react
based on the input they receive from us. Each time they spill something, break
something, do something out of order, or miss a detail and receive feedback from us
they internalize what they are told about the event. Each instance is an opportunity to
show kindness and grace to a child who probably did not mean to do anything wrong.
The nature of the response they receive has a high likelihood of becoming the way they
talk to themselves. You are programming their inner voice.

It’s not easy to do. Sometimes you just want to get out of the house and are trying to
move them along. Other times, you have already repeated yourself multiple times and
are losing your patience. These are moments where composure and poise will serve
you well. When you look back, you will see these were opportunities to build connection
through example. If you teach your child to love themselves they will be more likely to
feel connected to you, and you will become a model for patience and kindness. If you
are hard on them all the time they will learn to be hard on themselves too, and they will
remember where they learned that as well. In both scenarios, the child will learn how to
clean up the spilled milk. But only in one will they learn patience, grace, and kindness in
the process.

People remember how you made them feel before they remember what you knew or did
in life. There is no place where this is truer than with our own children. Kids remember
their emotional responses to events first. Their brains are not ready to think through
every detail yet. This is evolutions way of helping them remember whether a previous
experience and the person they had it with was good or bad. Many negative
experiences create a negative impression. If your child develops a negative impression
of you over time they are going to be less likely to want to follow your example, which
may be detrimental to your leadership in your home. Your ability to create a disciple
depends on a positive relationship with your child.

That does not mean you have to be soft. It just means you must demonstrate respect to
truly teach them its importance. They have to live it and breathe it everyday from their
primary role models.

The human brain does not fully develop until age 25. They will not be capable of
complete adult level reasoning until that time. If you understand this, then you
understand that how you make your kids feel is a huge factor in whether they will
ultimately become one of your disciples. They may not always comprehend the
reasoning behind what you are telling them. However, if they feel connected to you
enough to trust you then they will be more likely to follow you until they figure out
respect for themselves. As they go through this process, they will hopefully be looking
up to you the entire time.

The person a child looks up to (or doesn’t) will play a large role in how they view
themselves. Kids who are taught to show respect and have it modeled for them in the
home develop good relationship habits and learn to treat others with respect. Those
who do not, struggle to learn how to treat others. As they go down either path, they
begin to internalize the lessons of their daily habitual behaviors. Don’t think it’s all about
the big events. Small daily occurrences can have a dramatic impact on how a child
views themselves. As a child and teenager, perception is shaped much more by
emotion than by logic.

Let’s say your child is not listening and won’t clean up the mess they just made. The
language you use prompting them to clean up is important. It’s OK to be firm, but you
must make it about the task and not the kid. Even if they have been going through a
phase where they were not listening, you should never say something like “you never
listen” or “why can’t you do what you’re supposed to do”. Understand that if you have
high expectations and strong routines in your home they probably already do the right
thing most of the time anyway. If not, revisiting how you establish and enforce
expectations and routines may be worthwhile.

Instead, try using language that focuses on the task. It takes the child out of the
situation and keeps the emphasis on the action and expectation. Tell them they need to
clean their mess. Remind them of what their responsibilities are and how important it is
to take care of our property. If needed, you should also remind them that a
consequence is possible for noncompliance. In the short term, this helps teach them
what they need to do and how they should do it. In the long term, they learn to get done
what they need to get done without thinking they are what’s wrong with the situation.

Conclusion
Teaching respect is a long-term goal that should be approached with a guiding vision
that shapes how you will go about teaching it to your child. Hopefully, the vision that you
have for teaching respect is built into your larger parenting philosophy. Having a plan
that you can stick to will help keep you steady in times of doubt and reassured that your
approach is well thought out for your child and situation. Deliberate and intentional
parenting allows the parent to do what they think is best for their child while holding
them to the high standard that they set for themselves.

Respect for self and others should be one of your top priorities as you carry out your
plan.

Related Questions
How Do You Raise Respectful Children?

 Model the behavior you wish to see

 Your children will learn from what they see you do more than anything else. Show them what
they can become by being it for them.
 Expect the behavior you wish to see
 After you show them what you want to see, have them demonstrate it to you. Make sure they
are conducting themselves with a high level of character and if they slip, be there to make
sure they get back up.
 Present a settled disposition
 The way you go about teaching them to be respectful is just as important as what you are
teaching. It is way easier to learn how to be respectful from someone who is settled and
deliberate than someone who is wound up. Be present. Keep everything else out of your
mind and focus on the kids.
 Put firm boundaries in place
 Kids don’t always understand exactly what they need to do or how to do it. As the parent,
you need to put boundaries in place that keep them on track as they learn respect. They may
not always understand the big picture, but if they have a parent who knows how to put the
right boundaries in place at the right time they can still move toward the goal.
 Praise
 Be specific with your praise. If they do a good job getting all their chores done and the house
is better maintained for it, let them know it. Help them see that their actions have an impact
and they make a difference.
What Does Respect Look Like?
Children demonstrate respect for their parents through both words and actions. The
standards that you set in your home for respect should be the measure for how you
decide if they are conducting themselves respectfully.

Kids can show respect by doing their chores, listening to their parents when given a
directive, being kind to other family members, and taking care of pets. Respect and
responsibility go hand in hand and both help them work towards an appreciative
mindset. As you work to decide what respect will look like in your house, make sure you
are clear and consistent with your expectations. That’s will help your kids will get
enough practice to make it a habit.