Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Anna Ranieri
The stress of the workplace can bring out plenty of feelings in all of us. As an executive
coach, I see joy, sadness, frustration, and disappointment on a daily. But while we may
experience an array of emotions at work, there’s a general basis consensus that we
shouldn’t see anyone reduced to tears, hopelessness, or defeat on the job. If you as a
manager have caused an employee to cry, your primary objective is not to let it happen
again. How?
First, you need to understand exactly what happened. What, specifically, caused the
crying? Tears can signal sadness, or, quite frequently, they can be a cover for other
feelings: frustration, anger, a sense of powerlessness, anxiety, poor self-esteem, or
negative self-image. As a trained psychologist, I know that we have to consider the
particular cognitive and emotional makeup of the person who’s in tears, as well as the
situation that the person is in. What did that person really want to do: slug her insensitive
boss, or walk away from a demeaning job? Those alternatives are rarely an option, so
sometimes the only recourse may be to shed tears.
I’ve generally seen three primary circumstances that reduce people to tears:
First, listen.
Find a safe but private place, such as an unoccupied conference room or office where
you can speak quietly. Ask him what happened and listen as he tells you. It may take a
while for him to formulate just what he’s feeling, so be patient. I’ve heard from formerly
tearful employees that their manager’s willingness just to listen to their side restored the
trust in their relationship and brought everyone to a more productive level of
understanding.
Be empathic and willing to learn.
Even if you don’t fully understand why your report or colleague would be upset over
whatever it was that triggered the tears, your openness to consider the other’s feelings
will help you work with that person more effectively and may help you to become a better
manager in general.
Sursa: hbr.org