I’m So Tired of Telling This Story

Okay, let’s do this one last time, yeah? If you’re reading this, you most probably
asked me this question: “Why are you only staying for one semester in THE Ateneo De
Manila University?” to which I gave you this paper to read. If you didn’t ask me this
question in person and just managed to stumble upon this paper, long story short; I’ve
been living in the Philippines my entire life and for the entirety of my education, studied in
Ateneo, so it’s not a completely unreasonable question. For you to fully understand the
story, this narrative has to go way back around three years, back to the presidential
election of 2016.

After my parents found out about that Rodrigo Duterte was elected as the new
president of the Philippines, they told my siblings and I that we were leaving the country
while we were having dinner. This honestly, didn’t come as much of a shock because the
thought of migration occurred to me as well but still it was a scary thought. Back then, a
lot of things weren’t sure yet, we didn’t know what country we were going to, when we
were leaving, what was going to happen to our lives in the Philippines, we just knew we
had to get out of the country. My siblings and I were told to just sit tight and go about our
daily lives while my parents tried to figure out a plan. Soon enough, we ended up visiting
New Zealand on holiday to check out how living a life in the country would be like. During
the flight, I felt this small pit of anxiety in the back of my head, as if I was leaving the
Philippines, my home, for good. Though upon landing in the country, my fears and doubts
left my mind easily. Nearly everything about the country was perfect for us, the people
were kind, the weather was lovely, and the place in general was beautiful, but there were
just two big hurdles that weren’t worth jumping over; the air gave my dad and siblings
constant allergies and the cost of living was rather expensive. Thus, we decided that New
Zealand wasn’t the right place for us and we moved on and did more research on other
countries that we could move to with relative ease.

Eventually my parents found out that we could get a Canadian citizenship very
easily due to certain circumstances of ours and my family wound up visiting the country
during the summer to see what Canadian life is like and meet up with family friends who
have actually moved there. Before flying out, my family already could tell that Canada
was probably going to be the country we’d choose to stay in so we decided to visit multiple
cities to find out which one suited us the most. In the end, we decided on settling in
Toronto as it is home to some of the best schools in the world and because it’s in the
relatively warmer side of the country. Our family friends also told us that day to day life
there is great and that we surely wouldn’t have any regrets about our decision and we
flew back with high hopes for the future. A few weeks after our return to the Philippines
my parents told us that the process of approval for our permanent residence had already
started and that we needed to start preparing to move already. My brother and I needed
to start getting higher grades in general so we were sure to be accepted into a top
university and my sister needed to start looking for work so she’d have the work
experience necessary to be employed in a 1st world country. Which explains why when I
was in the 12th grade I applied to over 14 courses among 7 Toronto based universities.
Naturally I wasn’t really worried as much as my peers for the ACET, UPCAT, USTET, and
DCAT. In fact, I didn’t even care enough about those entrance exams to apply for all of
them, much less take them. I only applied for the UP Diliman and the Ateneo De Manila
University and funnily enough, I was only able to take the ACET because I was in Guam
during the UPCAT.

My family was originally supposed to leave after I graduated from high school but
at that time our papers were still being processed, which meant that we weren’t
permanent residents yet. And to further screw our plan over, I wasn’t allowed to accept
any of the 4 admission offers several universities gave me as it might have triggered red
flags during processing according to our immigration agent. Though fortunately enough,
despite the setbacks, the one school I applied for in the Philippines not only accepted me,
but allowed me to go to my dream course. So my parents decided to enroll me for just
one semester, just in case our permanent residence was approved during those months
because if it was approved that meant we could move come January. Enrolling would
also allow me the chance to have some of my subjects credited so I wouldn’t be wasting
time here waiting for our “green card”. And wouldn’t you know it, a little bit after enrolling
in the ADMU was when our PR visas were approved and we started planning for our
departure.

Honestly, these past two years have been such a wild ride. All of the sudden life
changing decisions being made, all of the plans being made, said plans changing, and all
of the on the spot decisions and turning of events just make my head spin thinking about
it now. It’s so surreal to think that a few months from now I’ll be leaving the only home I’ve
ever been in for a foreign, cold, and new country. Not that it’s a bad feeling, at least the
place is clean and the people are kind, it’s more of a “Wow, we’re really doing this.” and
coping with the fact that I’m leaving almost all of the people I love most in the world. At
the very least I’m glad that I was able to spend a semester here in Ateneo. I wanted to
experience the college life I always imagined and I’m doing it right now and it has been
amazing. I was able to join blueREP which is, not gonna lie, 85% the reason I really really
wanted to enroll in the first place. I’ve made amazing and lovely friends and I’m glad I get
to spend my last few months in the Philippines with this group of people. And not only
that, I’m super thankful to have a little more time with my best friends in the world who I
will never forget and never lose even miles apart. I’d like to think that I’m leaving the
Philippines with almost no regrets, if any at all. I’m happy with what I’ve done and what
I’m leaving behind here and I’m excited for what the future holds in store for me. Overall,
I guess it really is a bittersweet thing, leaving. All I can really do now is be thankful for all
that has happened and all I’ve been through and look ahead at the future with my head
held high.