Self-Love: 21 Ways You Can Become A Doctor of The Soul LonerWolf

(https://lonerwolf.
com/)
Self-Love: 21
Ways You Can
Become a
Doctor of the
Soul
by M AT EO S O L
( H T T P S : / / L O N E R W O L F. C O M / A U T H O R / M A T T Y / ) /
18 MIN READ
All throughout our early lives, we were taught how to read, how to
write, how to manipulate, calculate, build, destroy, theorize, study,
and analyze life. We were taught how to say “please” and “thank
you,” as well as what was acceptable and unacceptable to others and
society at large … but most of us failed to be educated in one
essential dimension of life: self-love.
Something that continues to shock me about my own upbringing was the distinct
lack of emphasis on respect for oneself and acceptance of one’s flaws and virtues
alike.
As a child I can’t ever recall being taught the value of loving oneself; of setting
healthy boundaries, knowing how to say “no” and “yes” when you mean it, and
learning how to take care of yourself, even at the expense of others.
(https://lonerwolf.com/linkout/145700)
How about you?
If you were raised in a culture and society similar to my own, you were probably
taught to “put others before yourself” and not give much consideration to your own
needs.
Self-denial and self-sacrifice were two of the main values taught in our
childhoods, and continue to be emphasized as the markers of a “kind, caring and
worthy human being” to this very day.
Unfortunately, from what I later learned in life, these two values taught me nothing
more than the profound emotional and psychological pain of being a self-imposed
martyr (https://lonerwolf.com/martyr-complex-symptoms/) with no real
understanding of ‘love.’
When we don’t learn how to love ourselves depression, bitterness, anxiety, resentment,
isolation, and great unhappiness are the result.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
What is Self-Love?
Why Loving Others Requires Self-Seeking (“Selfishness”)
What Self-Love ISN’T
21 Ways to Practice Authentic Self-Love
Why Practicing Self-Love Can Sometimes Feel Stressful
Self-Love = Gentleness and Forgiveness
Toxic Forms of Self-Love
Conclusion
What is Self-Love?
Put simply, self-love is the practice of understanding, embracing, and showing
compassion for yourself. Self-love involves nurturing your entire being – that means
taking care of yourself on the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels.
When engaging in self-love, we also work to forgive ourselves, accept our flaws, and
embrace our inner demons.
Why Loving Others Requires Self-

Seeking (“Selfishness”)
It sounds like a paradox (https://lonerwolf.com/paradoxical-truths/), but you
cannot be altruistic, caring, or compassionate unless you’re selfish.
Unless you’re capable of truly loving yourself first (even the darkest side
of your being) you can never love somebody else.
Self-seeking is preached in all societies as sinful behavior. We’re encouraged to be
self-sacrificers and martyrs for ” the greater good.” History is plagued with stories
of the individual hero’s willingness to sacrifice his/her life for the survival of a group
or collective of people.
But the truth is that the purpose of our society’s social conditioning is to preserve
and develop society as a whole, not to allow individuals to reach their full potential.
This is why taking care of yourself first is met with so much resistance
from others: it’s against our collective brainwashing.
But here’s the thing: in order to be a positive presence in this world, in order to care
for others in an authentically loving way, we must first focus on ourselves. We must
first dedicate a large amount of time to our own healing, happiness, and self-
fulfillment. We must be self-seeking.
If you can’t love yourself (https://lonerwolf.com/how-to-love-yourself-more/) at a

deep level – the place where your love originates from in the first place – how will
you ever be capable of true altruism or of truly loving anybody else?
You can’t give away that which you don’t actually have.
Think about it for a few moments.
Then, keep reading …
What Self-Love ISN’T

On the surface, it’s understandable how the word ‘self-love’ could be confused with
the words ‘egotism,’ ‘self-indulgence’ or ‘narcissism.’ But this couldn’t be further
from the truth.
Self-love isn’t about self-indulgence; it is about taking care of yourself.
A person who loves themselves wants to become the best they can be,
they want to explore themselves, practice inner work
(https://lonerwolf.com/inner-work/)
(https://lonerwolf.com/inner-work/),, do some soul-searching, work on
their flaws, heal their traumas, and find inner peace.
How is this a bad thing?
We are taught to believe that being self-seeking will jeopardize society as a whole –
regardless of what you actually do – so it is condemned indiscriminately. This
attitude is evident when we describe the behavior of a person who succeeds at the
expense of other’s wellbeing with words like ‘selfish.’ But this isn’t selfish, it’s foolish
and idiotic!
A person with mindful self-love is aware that they’re actually harming themselves
when they harm others. Why? Because they understand that if they hurt others,
they will suffering the negative consequences in the long term, which will make life
much more difficult for them. They realize that causing suffering to others is
actually self-destructive (https://lonerwolf.com/self-destructive-person/), which is
the complete opposite of “selfish” self-love.
On a side note, is there any such thing as Altruism, really

really?? The actual act of
helping other people does benefit us: it makes us feel good. Therefore, Altruism
itself can also be thought of as a “selfish” act.
If you truly love yourself, you want to take care of yourself. It’s only self-hating
egotistical people that harm themselves physically or mentally.
Self-love has nothing to do with egotism or narcissistic self-indulgence. On the

contrary, the desire for honest self-exploration requires immense respect and love
for yourself. Egotism revolves around the ego, and the ego depends upon the
respect of others, not yourself.
21 Ways to Practice Authentic Self-Love

Coming to terms with the fact that almost everything which defines a “good and
respectable person” is actually false can be hard to accept at first. But as thinker
Jiddu Krishnamurti noted:
“ Itprofoundly
is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a
sick society.
The good news, I discovered, is that with time and persistence, we can learn how to
heal ourselves. In essence, we can teach ourselves to become doctors of the
soul
soul, healing our wounds, curing our own sicknesses, and maintaining optimum
health through the development of self-love.
If you have just started the path of healing and recovery, or need some inspiration,
you might benefit from the following advice:
1. Change your diet
Swap processed, fatty and sugary foods, with whole, unprocessed and low-fat
foods. So much research has shown the link between
(https://www.positivehealthwellness.com/diet-nutrition/healthy-eating-can-lead-
depression/) food and the mind. Eating the wrong food is a sign of self-neglect and
contributes to physical, emotional and even mental illnesses. Try slowly cutting out
junk food, and experience the immense benefits! This is a basic form of self-care
(https://lonerwolf.com/self-care-ideas/).
2. Identify your subpersonalities
Within all of us there are subtle and incessant voices that sabotage and paralyze us,
and these are the voices of our subpersonalities. I wrote about these a while ago in
my subpersonalities (https://lonerwolf.com/subpersonalities-self-fulfillment/)
article. Awareness is the key to overcoming the negative self-talk of The Worrier,
The Critic, The Victim, and The Perfectionist.
3. Start reading
No, I don’t mean the news, or the latest gossip on Facebook, I mean reading books
(those funny obsolete things!). Focus on mostly non-fiction books in the self-help
category. Reading this type of material helps expand your mind and equips you
with inspiring and life-applicable knowledge. My current favorites are “Nonviolent
Communication” (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1892005034/ref=as_li_tl?
ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1892005034&linkCode=as2&t
ag=lonerwolf-20&linkId=MR446TN7WJA2VREH) by Marshall Rosenberg and
“Emotional Intelligence
(http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/055338371X/ref=as_li_tl?
ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=055338371X&linkCode=as2&t
ag=lonerwolf-20&linkId=2AW2HJKIRY7EW5EH)” by Daniel Goleman.
4. Practice inner work
Inner work is a path we advocate a lot on this website. When we practice inner
work, we are shining the light of consciousness into our hidden, unconscious
realms. It is within the deeper layers of our minds where unresolved fears,
blockages, wounds, and traumas lurk. Working through these issues is paramount
to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Learning how to love
yourself (https://lonerwolf.com/how-to-love-yourself-more/), healing your inner
child (https://lonerwolf.com/feeling-safe-inner-child/), and delving into shadow
work (https://lonerwolf.com/product/shadow-work-journal/) are all the
cornerstones of inner work. Click on the links I’ve just mentioned within this point if
you’d like to learn more.
5. Experiment with self-hypnosis
I personally found self-hypnosis (https://lonerwolf.com/self-hypnosis/) to be an

extremely powerful tool in re-wiring my brain from destructive thought patterns.
6. Get 7-8 hours of sleep every night
Also … ensure you set a stable bedtime! Once upon a time, my bedtime was 1am,
and I rose at 6am (that’s a measly average of 5 hours sleep). Getting less than the
recommended 7-8 hours of sleep every night, as I found, lowers your immunity,
contributes to chronic fatigue, moodiness, depression, anxiety issues, and chronic
pain (or fibromyalgia). Aim to go to bed around 10pm and rise at 6am. You will
seriously feel the difference!
7. Learn quiet assertiveness

It is not necessary to be an obnoxious jerk about what you do and don’t want out of
others and life in general. But it is essential to know how to stand up for yourself
and set strong boundaries. Read more about how to set healthy personal
boundaries (https://lonerwolf.com/personal-boundaries/).
8. Explore your mental traps
Low self-esteem is often the result of false and unrealistic thought patterns that are
deeply ingrained within us. These are composed of mental traps such as
assumptions, beliefs, comparisons, desires, expectations, and ideals about
ourselves and others. Read more about mental traps (https://lonerwolf.com/6-
mental-traps/).
9. Treat yourself like you would your best friend
Often, we are our own mortal enemies. To heal ourselves, it is important for us to
consciously change our relationships with ourselves, and treat ourselves with
compassion and consideration just as we would with a best friend. I wrote more on
this topic in my article on how to become your own best friend
(https://lonerwolf.com/how-to-become-your-own-best-friend/).
10. Welcome solitude into your life
When we don’t make space in our lives to be alone, it is easy for us to burn out,
become disorientated and even ill. Each day, make time for yourself to rewind,
relax and reflect, alone. Solitude gives you insight, perspective and reinstates
harmony in your life. We wrote a book on the power of solitude
(https://lonerwolf.com/product/the-power-of-solitude-ebook/) if you’re interested.
11. Meditate for self-awareness
Becoming self-aware is a key skill in life, a gift that allows you to identify your self-
destructive (https://lonerwolf.com/self-destructive-person/) patterns of thought
and behavior, and find more peace and balance in life. Meditation, although
frustrating and seemingly meaningless at first, is a silently potent practice with
endless benefits. Aim for 10-15 minutes each morning first thing (or whenever you
have time!). It’s worth it!
12. Identify toxic people in your life
Toxic people make us feel wretched and significantly lower the quality of our daily
lives. Toxic people are often judgmental (https://lonerwolf.com/judgmental-
person/), manipulative, clingy, backstabbing, ruthless, aggressive, controlling,
deceptive, self-pitying, and self-destructive. Learning to cut away those who hinder
your self-growth (https://lonerwolf.com/ways-hinder-self-growth/) is a difficult,
but absolutely necessary step on your journey of healing.
13. Seek supportive companions
Supportive people encourage us, uplift us, and inspire us. These people have often
obtained a certain level of self-love, and because of their ability to respect
themselves, they are easily able to respect and love others. Often it is not necessary
to seek these people out as we naturally gravitate towards them on our paths!
However, it always helps to instigate friendships and connections with the
supportive people of life as they can really help us out in dreary periods of our
journeys.
14. Learn to trust your intuition
Our unconscious minds are oceans of wisdom, understanding, and insight.

Intuition (https://lonerwolf.com/intuition/), that mysterious inner guide we all
have, is a manifestation of this vast untapped world within us. Learning to trust
your intuition will help you to live a life true to yourself (https://lonerwolf.com/be-
true-to-yourself/) and your deepest needs.
15. Support the well-being of nature

All of life on earth and the universe is so interconnected, that the harm we do to
others always comes back to harm us in one form or another. By supporting the
well-being of nature – whether by becoming a vegan or vegetarian, by choosing
sustainable food and products or even by replacing our cosmetics with organic
“non-animal tested” alternatives – we are promoting the well-being of the earth
and thus the well-being of us as individuals. By healing ourselves we heal others,
and by healing others we heal ourselves.
16. Take a walk or jog each day
This is not always possible, but regular exercise really does benefit your body, mind,
and soul, proving that you are actively taking care of yourself.
17. Stop spending so much time on social networks
Did you know that on average the American adult spends 3.2 hours per day
(http://www.marketingcharts.com/online/social-networking-eats-up-3-hours-per-
day-for-the-average-american-user-26049/)on social networks? Whether it’s
Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, or any of the numerous
other social networks out there, we waste so much of our time on social media …
and what for? Often times we are motivated by the ability to obtain “likes,” “shares,”
“followers” and “friends” constructing a feeble cyber alter-ego that craves for
acceptance and the esteem of others. For this reason, social media is a sickly
environment to constantly expose ourselves to each day, and many studies
(http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/03/14/how-social-media-affects-our-
self-perception/) have shown its detrimental effects on our health, including an
increase of depression and low self-esteem. Connect with your friends and family –
sure! – but stop using social networks to unconsciously build a false and unstable
sense of self-worth (https://lonerwolf.com/self-worth/).
18. Use color psychology

Colors are said to greatly impact our psychology (hence “color psychology”). I have
recently replaced a lot of my black, grey and dull colored clothing with bright
shades of various colors. The experience has been surprising: the colors of the
clothes I wear actually impact my mood noticeably. Wearing light blue, for
instance, stimulates feelings of openness, or yellow stimulates optimism. Dull
colors like khaki, granite, and charcoal, on the other hand, are all associated with
feelings of apathy, aloofness, pessimism, and despondency.
19. Make time to explore your passion
What drives you? Fires you up? Fills you with joy and a sense of accomplishment?
When we learn to forget our needs and smother them with others, we often lose
sight of what truly makes us happy in life.
Many of us abandon our dreams at an early age, and so live meaningless lives of
drudgery and socially approved pursuits (such as having a “good” career, big house,
nice car, perfect family, etc.). It is important, therefore, to ask yourself “What is my
passion?” Remember, passions are not static and they can evolve with us. Whether
painting, writing, dancing, designing, building or whatever excites you – pursue it –
even if on the sidelines!
20. Focus on reducing sources of stress in your life
Prolonged stress contributes to so many illnesses in our lives, so it is important to

learn how to reduce, and deal with it when it comes. Often stress can be reduced by
dropping our desires and expectations (https://lonerwolf.com/spontaneous-
change/) for ourselves, other people and situations in life. Stress can also be
reduced by practicing many of the things I have mentioned in this article, e.g.
having a good diet, 7-8 hours sleep per night, self-hypnosis, targeting negative
thought-patterns, and so forth.
21. Accept your flaws, celebrate your strengths

It is important to come to terms with the fact that you are imperfect – there is NO
denying it. As part of my journey, I have dedicated a lot of time to exploring my
Shadow Self (https://lonerwolf.com/shadow-self/) and accepting the embarrassing
and even shameful aspects of my nature. By accepting your flaws, the doorway to
self-improvement is opened. Accept them, don’t run away from them. Likewise,
learn how to celebrate your strengths! Keep a journal of affirmations and honestly
list every little thing you appreciate about yourself each day. Balance is essential.
Why Practicing Self-Love Can

Sometimes Feel Stressful
Like me, you might have read a lot of material all over the place on self-love.
You might have watched videos of gurus explaining the importance of self-respect
(https://lonerwolf.com/self-respect/), you might have read books on people’s
journeys of self-love and you might have a spiritual circle of friends that are always
emphasizing the importance of taking care of yourself.
You might be bombarded with the overwhelming desire to love yourself – just like
all these other awakened people do – but something isn’t quite right. You find
that the more you try to love yourself, the more unhappy you are with your
efforts.
You might find yourself berating yourself about an old misfortune or a new
resentment, and then later repent, telling yourself “I should let this go and move
on, I should be more forgiving.” Or you might try to be more confident in yourself,
fall into insecurity and anxiety, and later think “If I am to love myself I have to be
more confident in the person I am – I’m not doing well enough!” You might even
compare some of your habits with others on the same path and feel miserable as a
result, realizing that you are not as “self-loving” as they are.
When it comes to the word “should,” there is a very fine line between
motivating oneself and sabotaging one’s happiness. On one hand, we
motivate ourselves by setting goals and fulfilling them, (e.g. “I should keep up this
exercise routine for the next week to see how I feel”), and on the other hand, we can
undermine our happiness by imposing unnecessary ideals, expectations, and
comparisons onto what we do.
Have you ever thought something along the lines of, “I SHOULD have more self-love! I
SHOULDN’T feel so guilty!”? This is a perfect example of falling into the trap of
making self-love a duty, a burden and a jail cell that restricts our ability to truly
grow. That is the threat of making self-love into a “should”: it actually turns us
against ourselves. Ironic don’t you think?
Self-Love = Gentleness and Forgiveness

At the start of our journeys, it is all too easy to be ensnared by the external
comparisons we make between ourselves and other people who have perhaps
advanced more on the spiritual path.
I used to do this a lot until I realized one day that the very essence of self-love is
about being gentle and forgiving with yourself.
Thanks to some much-needed guidance, I learned that it was (and still is)
completely fine to take my time, to go slowly and to learn little by little. I learned
that it was OK to be flawed, to continue making mistakes … just as long as
I tried, persisted, and pushed through little by little.
So if you haven’t yet reached the pinnacle of what you consider to be self-love yet,
don’t worry. It’s not necessary that you push yourself, and it’s not necessary to be
hard on yourself – the precise opposite of what self-love is. Rather, know that self-love,
at its core, is the ability to embrace your wrongdoings and imperfections, knowing
that you are innately worthy of all the love life has to offer.
Toxic Forms of Self-Love
We’ll now move onto the ‘dark side’ of self-love.

How many times have you listened to people talk about self-love, read
articles/books on self-love, and seen self-love memes post everywhere on the
internet that sound like: “Love yourself first!” “Accept yourself unconditionally!” “It’s
not selfish to love yourself,” “Make your happiness a priority,” “Self-love is the best
way to find true love,” “I’m awesome – what’s your superpower?” … and so forth.
While all of these enthusiastic statements are completely true and very beneficial
for our well-being they are limited in their ability to truly help us “love ourselves.”
In fact, sometimes, the vibrant catchcries of the self-love movement are

simply superficial masks that obscure the real truth: you still hate
yourself deep down.
This is a strange topic that not many people shine the light on when discussing self-
love. But YES it is possible to use so-called self-loving practices as a way to band-aid
our deeper wounds. YES it is possible to unintentionally deceive ourselves as a self-
protection mechanism.
With that being said, let’s explore some of the most common forms of toxic self-
love out there:
1. Cultivating extreme “positive thinking” habits
Replacing the negative cycles of inner talk within us is very helpful. However, not
only is optimism often a polarized reaction to pessimism, but it can also be used as
a form of avoidance by dismissing the reality of our own pain and other’s pain. It is
common to use positive thinking as a way to spiritually bypass
(https://lonerwolf.com/what-is-spiritual-bypassing/) our own deeper issues.
Bottom line: be careful when approaching positive thinking communities and
teachings. Positive thinking becomes toxic when it is used to hide the pain, shame,
and fear we carry inside.
2. Thinking that you are perfect the way you are

Yes, it is beneficial for us to fully embrace the people we are and to love our
strengths and weaknesses. However the affirmation “I am perfect the way I am” can
be destructive. The truth is that you are not perfect the way you are because there is
no such thing as perfection. Thinking that you are already perfect the way you are can
also be a toxic form of avoiding the hard path of true inner work and healing. In
other words, it is the perfect fearful cop out under the guise of “self-love.”
3. Excessive indulgence
Rewarding ourselves every now and then simply for the sake of it is a healthy, self-
nurturing habit. It’s nice to relax with that mini-series, spend an hour in a bubble
bath and lavish ourselves with nice food, clothing, and other gifts whenever we feel
the need. However, this habit can be taken to the extreme and used to justify
unnecessary greed and indulgence that covers up and overcompensates for deeper
issues such as the fear of aloneness, worthlessness, and social insignificance. There
is a time to reward ourselves and a time not to.
4. Over-the-top affirmations
“ You are SENSATIONAL,” “You’re f***ing beautiful!!!” “You are the best!” “You’re a
BOMBASTIC babe!”
Reminding ourselves of how innately wonderful we are is important. But the many
over-the-top affirmations out there paraded in the name of self-love are not only
nauseating (in my opinion) but are also often reactions to the self-hatred we have
inside.
Anything of an extremist nature, such as the examples of affirmations above, are

usually ways to overcompensate for the deep and unresolved misery of self-hatred
we feel inside.
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Also, I’ve often heard over-the-top affirmations used to justify selfish and self-
destructive (https://lonerwolf.com/self-destructive-person/) behavior (and I’ve
done so myself) sort of like: “F**k you! I don’t care what you think because I’m beautiful
and I love the person I am!” Sound convincing? Not really. When it comes to
affirmations it is good to find balance; to realize that no, you aren’t the best thing in
the world, but yes, you are an exquisite reflection of Oneness
(https://lonerwolf.com/oneness-wholeness/); of the mystery of life.
To genuinely and authentically heal we must be willing to face our shadows as well
as practice self-love. The two paths go hand-in-hand. We must truly be able to
fathom the depths of our self-hatred in order to heal from the inside out. If you’d
like more guidance on how to face your shadow read our Shadow Work
(https://lonerwolf.com/shadow-work-demons/) article.
Conclusion
Cultivating self-love is essential if you desire to live a life of joy, love, peace, and
fulfillment.
Although it’s usually missed in our early life education, self-love is as vital to
daily life as any other fundamental human need
need.. Without learning how to
love ourselves, our lives are filled with self-sabotage, self-loathing
(https://lonerwolf.com/self-loathing/), toxic and heartbreaking relationships
(https://lonerwolf.com/toxic-relationships/), emptiness
(https://lonerwolf.com/feeling-empty/), and a profound lack of connection with life.
I hope that this article has inspired you to re-educate yourself. And please, if you
feel that someone else in your life could benefit from self-love, please share this
resource with them!
What has been the hardest part of your self-love path?

Please share below. I’d love to read your story!
You might also enjoy ...
(https://lonerwolf.com/how-to-love-yourself-more/)
How to Love Yourself (Ultimate Beginner's Guide)

(https://lonerwolf.com/how-to-love-yourself-more/)
(https://lonerwolf.com/self-care-ideas/)
39 Self-Care Ideas For Those Who Struggle With Self-Love

(https://lonerwolf.com/self-care-ideas/)
(https://lonerwolf.com/self-loathing/)
Self-Loathing: 15 Signs You Hate Yourself (& Why it Happens)

(https://lonerwolf.com/self-loathing/)
About Mateo Sol

Mateo Sol is a prominent psychospiritual counselor and mentor whose
work has influenced the lives of thousands of people worldwide. Born into
a family with a history of drug addiction, schizophrenia, and mental illness,
Mateo Sol was taught about the plight of the human condition from a
young age. As a spiritual counselor and mentor, Sol’s mission is to help
others experience freedom, wholeness, and peace in any stage of life.
[Read More] (https://lonerwolf.com/about/)
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(47) Comments
Casey
A U G U S T 2 4 , 2 0 1 9 A T 0 4 : 2 1 ( H T T P S : / / L O N E R W O L F. C O M / S E L F -
LO V E / C O M M E N T-PA G E- 2 / # C O M M E N T- 2 5 1 7 7 6 )
I love this article. It’s so true.

The hardest part right now is realising that I haven been masking my low self esteem and that I feel
stupid most of the time!
Even though the emotional tools I gained are useful I dont think they really have a place in admitting
that I was just coveting up the pain rather than facing it.
I have anxiety and mine stems from thinking people are always judging me and putting me down.
I was never taught about emotions and boundaries growing up because my parents didnt grow up like
that either.
Self love was not a word that was used. I grew up thinking everyone else was better than me and also
that my opinion wasn’t important.
I grew up thinking it was bad to disagree with someone because they’d get mad so therefore I had no
boundaries.
I’ve gone from one extreme to another and now I love my own company so much I don’t feel like I need
anyone!!!
I feel strong and weak at the same time!!!!!
I also feel selfish when I try and put myself first because I don’t know how to articulate it in my head and
combine with my actions so I haven’t a clue how to Express myself in a healthy way! Therefore its easier
to just be CD alone for now. I feel like it’s an I incubation period for me.
REPLY
Daniel
J U L Y 2 8 , 2 0 1 9 A T 0 1 : 0 6 ( H T T P S : / / L O N E R W O L F. C O M / S E L F -
It’s really amazing how deep the issue with self-love can be. You would think its as simple as accepting
yourself as you are. Oh how I wish it were that easy.
Accepting flaws is something most of us don’t do because we refuse to believe we have them. I’ve
unwittingly run into this problem but figured its at least better to make mistakes than not at all. At least
that way I can later look at all I’ve done and reassess myself with honesty – even though it might be
painful to look at.
These articles have been helpful to reveal to me my own ignorance but I admittedly didn’t want to hear
any of it.
A part of me still wants to revolt. But I realize its only because of some deep wounds that I have a
tendency to want to act out and resist what I disagree with.
A lot of our society does not at all agree with these views so it feels ‘safer’ to just go with the herd. Being
cast out can feel like such a death sentence! But self-betrayal is a crime you wind up having to live with
and can feel a whole lot worse.
REPLY
Bojan
J U N E 1 9 , 2 0 1 9 A T 0 0 : 3 2 ( H T T P S : / / L O N E R W O L F. C O M / S E L F -
Exactly trying to preserve the the fine qualities of my soul you mentioned in this great article.Qualities
most people neglect, I would like to believe unintentionally.Myself also,so I have found myself in a
situations where I can hardly recognize who I really am.This is one of those situations in life when you
Don t give priority to what truly matters,so you begin asking yourself.Why are some situations
happening the way they do.Lots of warm greetings.
REPLY
Mateo Sol
J U N E 1 9 , 2 0 1 9 A T 1 1 : 3 4 ( H T T P S : / / L O N E R W O L F. C O M / S E L F -
Indeed, it’s a struggle of the modern day where we’re bombarded by an abundance of
‘society’ much more than any other time in history, through the internet and our
smartphones all day long. It’s so easy to lose ourselves, our needs, in these streams. I’m
happy you shared your experience Bojan.
REPLY
Shanna
Shanna
A P R I L 1 4 , 2 0 1 9 A T 1 3 : 1 3 ( H T T P S : / / L O N E R W O L F. C O M / S E L F -
I love this article. I’ve been on this journey now for 2 years. This journey is ever unfolding towards self
discovery only attainable through self love. Those steps mentioned is absolutely what I’ve done and
continue to do and my life has completely changed. It’s not a quick fix, for me the process took lots of
time to myself and I studied who I am extensively. It work!
REPLY
Vijay
M A R C H 2 5 , 2 0 1 9 A T 1 7 : 2 2 ( H T T P S : / / L O N E R W O L F. C O M / S E L F -
I have just read what I have always knew and believed in but never had the courage to follow that path.
Today at the sixty I find myself totally alone. My wife and daughter walking away from me, my brothers
giving the cold shoulder. I was the slave who lived to keep others happy and never able to say no. God
has given me luckily perfect health. Your article is an inspiration. Thank you very much.
REPLY
Obscure Mist
A P R I L 2 7 , 2 0 1 7 A T 0 8 : 1 0 ( H T T P S : / / L O N E R W O L F. C O M / S E L F -
LO V E / C O M M E N T-PA G E- 2 / # C O M M E N T- 8 2 7 2 2 )
Don’t know if you still answer questions on this one, since it’s an old post, but I’ll give it a shot.
I came to this to learn how to raise my vibrational energy, as I have been strongly considering opening
my Third Eye the last few days and wanted to be prepared. Unfortunately, I am also only 18 and finishing
high school this year, so I don’t really have a choice in what food is in the house, plus I’m known for my
lack of exercise and all, so they’d ask too many questions (I typically don’t have a problem with inquiries,
except my family is very traditional and religious, so this sort of stuff about vibrations and third eyes
would probably come off as Satanism to them- and I want to keep a low profile). Any tips for moving out
quickly, or working around that? Or do I just wait it out, because none of us are particularly financially
well off?
REPLY
Lakia
Lakia
D E C E M B E R 2 6 , 2 0 1 6 A T 1 2 : 1 1 ( H T T P S : / / L O N E R W O L F. C O M / S E L F -
THANK YOU!!!!!
Thank you, Thank You, Thank YOU.
REPLY
Jillie D
D E C E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 6 A T 0 5 : 4 8 ( H T T P S : / / L O N E R W O L F. C O M / S E L F -
I don’t know how to find my passion or purpose. :(
REPLY
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Self-Love: 21 Ways You Can Become A Doctor of The Soul LonerWolf

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(https://lonerwolf.

How about you?

Why Loving Others Requires Self-

If you can’t love yourself (https://lonerwolf.com/how-to-love-yourself-more/) at a

Think about it for a few moments.

Then, keep reading …

What Self-Love ISN’T

Self-love isn’t about self-indulgence; it is about taking care of yourself.

How is this a bad thing?

On a side note, is there any such thing as Altruism, really

Self-love has nothing to do with egotism or narcissistic self-indulgence. On the

21 Ways to Practice Authentic Self-Love

1. Change your diet

2. Identify your subpersonalities

4. Practice inner work

5. Experiment with self-hypnosis

I personally found self-hypnosis (https://lonerwolf.com/self-hypnosis/) to be an

6. Get 7-8 hours of sleep every night

7. Learn quiet assertiveness

8. Explore your mental traps

9. Treat yourself like you would your best friend

10. Welcome solitude into your life

11. Meditate for self-awareness

12. Identify toxic people in your life

13. Seek supportive companions

14. Learn to trust your intuition

Our unconscious minds are oceans of wisdom, understanding, and insight.

15. Support the well-being of nature

16. Take a walk or jog each day

17. Stop spending so much time on social networks

18. Use color psychology

19. Make time to explore your passion

20. Focus on reducing sources of stress in your life

Prolonged stress contributes to so many illnesses in our lives, so it is important to

21. Accept your flaws, celebrate your strengths

Why Practicing Self-Love Can

Self-Love = Gentleness and Forgiveness

Toxic Forms of Self-Love

We’ll now move onto the ‘dark side’ of self-love.

In fact, sometimes, the vibrant catchcries of the self-love movement are

1. Cultivating extreme “positive thinking” habits

2. Thinking that you are perfect the way you are

Anything of an extremist nature, such as the examples of affirmations above, are

The Spiritual Awakening Process

What has been the hardest part of your self-love path?

You might also enjoy ...

How to Love Yourself (Ultimate Beginner's Guide)

39 Self-Care Ideas For Those Who Struggle With Self-Love

Self-Loathing: 15 Signs You Hate Yourself (& Why it Happens)

About Mateo Sol

I love this article. It’s so true.

Thank you, Thank You, Thank YOU.

I don’t know how to find my passion or purpose. :(

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