To know ourselves is to love ourselves.

To love ourselves is to
acknowledge the fundamental goodness of our nature and to
share it with others.

Love is the tendency towards what is good. Selfishness is withdrawing to

ourselves, Putting ourselves ahead and above all others. Love thrives on
justice, on what is honest and beautiful. Selfishness is the overflowing of
greed and pride.

Our understanding of self-love is learned during childhood from those that

cared for us. In most cases, it is taught unconsciously; we just got a glimpse
from watching those that nurtured us.

Self-love is more than just wearing nice attire and applying bouts of expensive
makeup and then claiming that you love yourself. Self-love is an umbrella term
for different acts of love we perform toward ourselves physically and non-
physically. To love yourself is not an act of selfishness, it is an act of kindness
toward others because when you love yourself, others don't have to deal with
your unresolved problems.

t is sad that most of us are trying to conquer external battles like finding love,
finding success, or finding happiness, but we do not understand that self-love
is the root from which everything grows.

It is true that loving ourselves means being concerned with our

needs. But our preoccupation with ourselves must be regulated by
temperance.

Loving ourselves by excluding others is selfishness. It is

narcissism. No man lives for himself alone. The concept of "man
for others" is not a novelty. We find ourselves in the self of the
other. This is how it is since our human nature is social. The
commandment "Love your neighbor as yourself'" tells us both the
why and the how. We love our neighbor because he is, like us, a
person. We should love him by not doing to him What we do not
want to be done to us. When we do this we show our concern, not
only for others, but our great respect for ourselves

Self-love comprises four aspects: self-

awareness, self-worth, self-esteem and self-care.
If one is missing, then you do not entirely have self-love. To have it, we should
be aligned with these four aspects. The journey of achieving self-love does
not differ from confronting your demons. It is the reason most of us lack it,
because no one wants to sit down and have a conversation with themselves.
Self-Love is hard to achieve because it means having to do away with certain
things and people we are addicted to. Our addiction to people and habits that
go against the premise of self-love means that we compromise and hence
love ourselves conditionally, in exchange for the momentary rush we get from
these distracting things.

Self-awareness
is being aware of your thought processes: your thoughts, how they affect your
emotions, and how emotions cause you to act.

Are you aware of the thoughts that make you feel angry and make you
act impulsively? Where are they coming from, and why are they there?
Why do they cause you to act the way that you do? The same applies to
what makes you happy. Why does it make you happy?

It is stepping out of yourself to examine yourself.

Self-awareness is the key to emotional intelligence. What makes you mad might
not stop making you mad, but you will know how to respond effectively or how
to not respond at all. People with high emotional intelligence have emotions
just like we do. But they step out of their emotions to process them effectively.
This also includes moving away or avoiding situations that you know
will trigger certain undesirable feelings and reactions within you. If you
cannot move away or avoid the situation, self-awareness enables you to
redirect the energy you are putting in those emotions. One way to improve
your self-awareness is to keep a journal of your thoughts, emotions, and
actions.

Self-worth

Because of the continuous negative programing that we face in society,

we focus on the bad and unpleasant things and project this negativity
onto ourselves so often without even realizing it.

Self-worth is the beliefs we have about ourselves, and often we struggle

to believe in ourselves. This is because of past unfortunate
circumstances we have been through that we have not fully shaken off.

Self-worth lies in all the good things about you. Everyone has something
good about them.

If you struggle to find your self-worth, find a day that you can spend
picking out the things you have done right or the things that other
people have appreciated about you.

You may be a pushover because you don’t know your worth. There is never a
day that you are not worthy. Self-worth is not determined by anything; you
don’t have to do anything to be worth it. You just are. Know that and
understand that. Your strengths, talents, and kind acts toward other
people are just an expression of your self-worth.

Self-esteem

Self-esteem results from self-worth.

A high sense of self-worth results in high self-esteem.

Self-worth is the realization that we are valuable regardless of what we have

achieved or the qualities we may have; self-esteem is more tied to our
qualities and achievements.
The exercise mentioned above appeals more to self-esteem but I used it for
self-worth because we work better with things that we can see rather than
things we can’t.

When you develop a sense of self-worth, self-esteem will come more

naturally.

Self-esteem deals with three factors—how we were loved as children, the

accomplishments of the people in our age group, and how well we have
accomplished compared to our childhood caregivers.

Self-esteem has everything to do with being content and comfortable

with who you are, where you are, and what you have.

If you want self-esteem, improve your self-worth. Remind yourself every day
that you need not justify your existence. Your need to accomplish certain
things is often because of your need to justify your existence.

Self-care

This aspect that has more to do with the physical but it is not entirely physical.
Self-care is all the acts we do to keep ourselves healthy, like taking a bath,
eating a balanced diet, staying hydrated, and doing things that we love. Self-
care can also take form of watching what you consume, like the music you
listen to, the things you watch, and the people you spend time with.
Compared to the other aspects of self-love, self-care is easier to do. It is
best to start here on your journey toward discovering self-love.

Ask yourself this question as often as you can: “What would someone who
loves themselves do?” Ask yourself this question whenever you need to make
a decision, be it trivial or important. This exercise will come with one tip and
one warning.

A beautiful self-love poem has apparently been written by Charlie

Chaplin who composed it for his 70th birthday (April 16, 1959). 
 As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are
only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know,
this is “AUTHENTICITY”.- Charlie Chaplin 

ang pagdadalamhati at emosyonal na pagdurusa ay mga palatandaan

lamang na ipinamumuhay ko ang sarili kong katotohanan.

• As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend

somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I
knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and
even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

gaano kasakit sa isang tao kung sisikapin kong pilitin ang aking mga
hangarin sa taong ito, kahit alam kong hindi tama ang panahon at
hindi pa handa ang taong ito para dito, at kahit ang taong ito ay sa
akin. “paggalang”

• As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I

could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to
grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

• As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I

am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the
exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-
CONFIDENCE”.

• As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped

designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings
me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart
cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I
call it “SIMPLICITY”.

• As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good

for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that
drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a
healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
• As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever
since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is
“MODESTY”.

• As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and

worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where
everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call
it “FULFILLMENT”.

• As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me

and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind
became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF
THE HEART”.

• We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of

problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their
crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!

VILLO, AILEN JOY V.