EMOTIONAL

INTELLIGENCE
 EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Introduction
Aristotle spoke about a rare ability
• To be angry with the right person
• To the right degree
• At the right time
• For the right purpose
• And in the right way.
To be successful, you do not just need to be intelligent, but you need to be emotionally intelligent.
That ability to use emotions effectively is important for relationships.
• It is a person ability to
• Perceive emotions in oneself and others
• Understand the meaning of these emotions
• Regulate one’s emotions
• Knowing your feelings and using them to make life decisions
• Being able to manage your emotions without being hijacked by it.
• Not being paralyzed by depression or worry or swept by anger
• Channeling your impulses to pursue your goals
Why do we focus on EI?

• Today in our education system we are told that technical intelligence etc, is
important.

• But this is not the only type of intelligence we need to survive in today’s
world.

• As social beings, We are surrounded by people.

• Hence we need EI, which is one aspect of social intelligence

Who is the proponent of EI?
• Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ
was first published in 1995, it went straight to the top of the New York Times Non-
fiction Bestseller list and stayed there for six months, which no book had ever done
before.

DEFINITION

Emotional intelligence is the capacity

• to recognize one’s own feelings and of others;( this is how I feel)
• To find reasons to motivate ourselves; ( find reason to do somethings)
• To manage our own emotions (control our emotions, so that they don’t
dominate us)
• To manage relationship
It is kind of social intelligence
 The two sides of emotional intelligence

We can only manage ourselves effectively to the extent that we are self aware,
and we can only manage our relations with others effectively to the extent that
we are aware of them and their feelings
ASPECTS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
1.Self-awareness
2.Self-management
3.Social awareness
4.Relationship management
5.Assertiveness
6.Independence
7.Empathy
1. Self-awareness
• It is the most important aspect

• It is the ability to recognize how you are feeling and why your are feeling a
certain way and the impact that it will have on others.

Example: you had a fight with your friend over something. And you are
angry. The first thing is to recognize that you are angry.

The next thing is to understand why I am feeling angry. What happened in

that fight?

Sometime people don’t know why they are feeling in a certain way? It
indicates lack of self-awareness.

Our feelings have impact on others. After the fight you go home and don’t
eat. This upsets your mother.
In order to be self-aware, we need to conduct a self assessment.
• Ask yourself; what am I positive and what am I negative
• What am I good at and what am I not good at;
• What kind of a person am I?

Using your gut feeling you understand why you are feeling in a certain way.
• Ask yourself which was the strongest emotion you experienced in the last week?
• How did you become aware of this particular emotions?
• What are the areas in my life that I need to work on?
• What are my strengths and weaknesses?
• How do others perceive me?
2. self-management:
• It is the ability to manage the emotions that I am going through.
• All of us go through emotions.
• It is important to control those emotions.
• Recognize
• Understand
• Label
• Express
• Regulate
• Adaptability
• We need to adapt to the situation that we are put into
• Example: we are put into this covid-19 situation.
• Instead of complaining, how do we adapt and make the best use of it.
• Self-control
• Transparency
• Stress management
3. Social awareness; being aware of the people around you.
• Understanding people’s non-verbal communication
• Understanding and responding to the needs of other people we
are not islands
• We live in the midst of people.
• We need to be socially aware of what people are going through.
• Am I able to the emotions portrayed on people’s faces.
4. Relationship management

• It means using personal information and information about others to handle one’s relationship and
develop interpersonal skills.

• Example: you go to the office and find your team-mate upset. Using the information that you have ask
him,
• Hey you look upset. Is there anything that I can do for you?

• He feels, look I have someone who cares about me and wants to know about me. And he shares his
problem. Thus the relationship is established.

But most of the time we don’t crack the surface.

• Relationship is one of the most important aspects of our life.

• They are very vital for our own wellbeing.
• Each one of us have some type relationship with others.
• Example. Family, friend, colleague, superior, inferior,
• But most of us don’t take our relationship seriously.
• Ask yourself, this question,
• Do I really appreciate my relationship?
• How can I better my relationship?
Conflict management

• No relationship is without conflicts.

• The test of your relationship is how do you recover after the fight?
• You ability to handle, a fight, an argument, a stressful situation., so that
relationship is restored.
• That is why conflict management comes in.

Teamwork and collaboration

• Everywhere we go, we work in a team. We can not say that we are going to fly
solo.
• Team work, works on relationship. We need to maintain relationship.
Assertive:

• It means to be able to express your thoughts and feelings.

• Many of us are shy and scared to say what is in our minds.

• Being assertive means learning how to stand your ground. i.e be

firm in your values.

• The ability to stand up for what you believe in.

• Open, direct and honest communication

Independence
• To be an independent person means
• To be self-directive
• To be control in one’s thinking

• How many of us can truly say that I am in independent person?

• Many of us depend on our family, friends, neighbours etc. to do
something, or form a particular opinion.
• How many of us can say this is how I am going to function?
• We need to be more self-reliant,
• We need to have our own opinion, clear cut thinking, etc.
• When others say, hei, this his how he thinks, this is his way of
thought etc. , signs of independence
Empathy
• An empathetic person puts her/himself in somebody's’ shoos
• There is big difference between empathy and sympathy i.e. service
oriented

• Example : your friend lost his father due to covid.

• As a sympathetic person, You feel bad and sad.

• As a empathetic person, you put yourself into your friend’s

position and do something.
• He may arrange for the funeral
• He may bring food for his friend and family
• He may stay with him for a day or more
Importance of EI
1. Self development
• You are award of what you are good at and not good at,
• What you need to improve
• How much to improve
• You can work on your self development
2. Better health
• Emotionally intelligent person enjoys better health both physically and mentally.
• He is aware that his emotions have effect on his health.
• Do you that when you are stressed, you have headache, lack of appetite, can not
work well etc.
3. Relationship
• If you want to have better relationship with people, then work on your EI
• You will be able to understand them better.
4. Work place:
• Leadership skill, communication, less conflict, problem solving skills
• Helps employer and employees to cope with disappointments & bad experiences
How then can one improve emotional intelligence?

• Pay attention to self and other’s body language

• Listen more; speak less- develops empathy

• Get curious, not furious- Watch what you say especially when frustrated or
annoyed. Reframe negative emotions into curiosity - " ... this makes absolutely
no sense to me" can be replaced with, "Do you see something in this that I must
be missing”

• Elicit pride in others – Reason for working together

• Remember that emotions are contagious - A dominant person's emotions

(negative or positive) always influences others. Leaders should be careful to
show only those emotions, which they want to see in others
Conclusion

• EI is a skill can be learned anytime.

• It never stops increasing
• Increase your observance skills if you want to increase your EI
• People with higher EI do better in all areas of life
• 90% of leadership, management and business is attributed to EI