Relational Dialectics Theory

Relational dialectics theory or RDT is a communication theory introduced by Leslie Baxter

and Barbara Montgomery back in 1996 when it was published and distributed to the world. According
to Baxter, the Relational Dialectics Theory focuses on the interplay of differences and how they are
often oppositional and competing. RDT revolves around the contradictions that happen within a
relationship and the problems that may show up when two different people maintain a relationship
which is, according to Baxter, the reason why a relationship grows and matures with time. This theory
may be complex but once you’ve understood the point of the theory, you will know that it represents
the way we communicate with other people.

It all started when leslie baxter was challenged by his professor to look for opposites in all
aspects back in 1975 and found great interest in opposites within relationship so she started to study
its features and factors. Baxter was unsatisfied with what she has acquired from the study but was
enlightened when she found the study of Mikhail Bakhtin 10 years after and has helped her have a
deeper understanding of what she has learned in the opposites within a relationship. With this
knowledge, Baxter teamed up with Barbara Montgomery on the year 1992 to create a book that talks
about the Relational Dialectics Theory, which was then published in 1996, 4 years after it was made
by Baxter and Montgomery.

Assumptions of RDT
RDT has four main assumptions that explains how this theory is connected to how we
communicate in real life and these are:

 Relationships are not linear.

This is the most significant assumption in the relational dialectics theory because
in RDT, relationships do not exist in a linear way as it always changes in time.
Relationships, according to RDT is the continuous alternation of contradictory
desires between two people wherein complexity in a relationship, is viewed as an
alternative to progress.

 Relational life is characterized by change.

This assumption of RDT states that relationships are inevitable to change. Baxter
and Montgomery have observed that qualitative and quantitative movement will
always be present within a relationship.

 Contradiction is the fundamental fact of relational life.

The third assumption of Relational Dialectics Theory implies that oppositions
and differences within two people will never be absent and will not cease to
provide tension between the two individuals. It simply states how tension is
always present in relationships and that people has different ways of handling it.
  Communication is central to organizing and negotiating relational
contradictions.
Finally, the last assumption is focused on communication and how it is important
in a relationship. According to Baxter and Montgomery, “-the social reality of
contradictions is produced and reproduced by the communicative action of
social actors.” This theory informs us that whatever we say to an individual would
impact future circumstances according to how we have planned our
communicative action.

The Subtopics of RDT

THE APPROACH

Relational Dialectics Theory can be best defined through comparing it with the
monologic and dualistic approach.

Monologic approach is the thinking that once you move towards another
conclusion/extreme, you will leave the other belief that you have which is represented in the
figure above.
Dualistic Approach, on the other hand, is seeing the contradictions as two different
things without relation to each other (as seen on the figure above).
Lastly, the Dialectic Approach is having multiple extremes out of each contradiction.
Baxter and Montgomery described Dialectical thinking as something that is focused in a
messier, less logical and inconsistent practices which is clearly shown on the figure above.

Elements of Dialectics
These elements are the basics aspects of dialectical perspective:
  Totality – Totality explains the interdependency of the people in a relationship. It
states that whenever something happens to one member of the relationship, the
other one will be affected as well. It can also be applied to the social and cultural
contexts of those who are in a relationship and how these factors affect each one of
them.

 Contradiction – This element is the center of the dialectic approach. It also refers to
the oppositions that an individual in a relationship faces and must choose between
two elements that contradict each other.

 Motion – Is simply focused on the process that is happening within a relationship and
would be the best description of how the relationship has changed over time.

 Praxis – This element explains that we are all choice makers despite being
constrained by past choices, choices of other people, and cultural and social
conditions, we are still aware that we can make a choice for ourselves.

Basic Relational Dialectics

Interactional Dialectics are the tension made through communication of people within a
relationship:

1. Autonomy and Connection – this tension refers to the feeling of wanting to be close to your
partner and being separated from them.
2. Openness and Protection – The second tension portrays the conflict happening between
two people in a relationship who wants to be open and expressive towards their partners
while also wanting to be invulnerable and closed to them.
3. Novelty and Predictability – Finally, the last conflict talks about the struggles of individuals
in a relationship to be certain and uncertain of what they do. This conflict is the oscillation of
knowing what to do and being spontaneous in a relationship.

Contextual Dialectics are formed through the place of relationship within the culture:

1. Public and Private Dialectic – is a dialectic that contrasts the public and private aspects of a
relationship.
2. Real and Ideal Dialectic – This contextual dialectic is the result of comparing the reality of
relationships from a fantasized relationship.

Response to Dialectics
Cyclic Alternation – Choosing different poles for different times. Refers to the changes happening
over time.

Segmentation – Choosing different poles for different context. Refers to the changes happening due
to context,
Selection – Choosing one pole and pretending that the other one does not exist. Refers to the
prioritization of oppositions.

Integration – is the process of synthesizing the oppositions in dialectic tensions. This response is
composed of three sub strategies:

1. Neutralizing – choosing where to settle in an opposition.

2. Disqualifying – Involves the exemption of certain matters from the things
that you share generally.
3. Reframing – is the transformation of the oppositions so it would not
contradict each other again.

Managing Relational Dialectics

Leslie Baxter and Barbara Montgomery have suggested these eight methods for individuals
to control and manage dialectics in their relationship:

1. Denial – Is the process of ignoring the other side of the tension while being responsive to the
other tension.
2. Disorientation – Is the act of managing relational Dialectics by ending the relationship to
escape the tension.
3. Reaffirmation – Is the way of accepting the tension that is happening in a relationship and
believing that it is normal and beneficial for both individuals to undergo tension.
4. Integration – Is the integration of all tensions that is happening in an individual’s life and
procuring solutions that would solve all tensions at once. This type of dialectic management
may be hard but is useful in solving tensions.
5. Recalibration – Is the process of reframing the tension in a way that it is no longer an
opposition in a relationship.
6. Segmentation – Segmentation is the method of dealing with one tension at a time. It can
be crucial for an individual to solve all tension that is currently happening in a relationship but
through segmentation, all tensions will be noticed and would have an action to eliminate
them.
7. Alternation – Alternation happens when two individuals in a relationship alternately gives
attention to each of their tensions.
8. Balance – Partners in this method maintains a balance between the situations that they are
in while partially responding to different tensions that affects the relationship.

REFERENCES
Maharjan, p. (2018). Relational Dialectics Theory. Retrieved on August 25, 2019 from
https://www.businesstopia.net/communication/relational-dialectics-theory

A First Look at Communication Theory. (2014). Leslie Baxter on Relational Dialectics [Video File].
Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygLrYk7Aj-Y
Turner, L.H. and West, R. (2010). Introducing communication theory: analysis and application. New
York, NY: McGraw - Hill