Relational Dialectics

Theory
Lesson 12
 Introduction
O The theory suggest that partners in a relationship
experience ongoing tensions between
contradictory impulses.
O People are not always able to resolve these
contradictions and thus become comfortable
in believing inconsistent things about the
relationships in which they are involved.
O Baxter and Montgomery are the researchers most
closely associated with the application of
dialectical theory to relationships.
O See video: https://
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygLrYk7Aj-Y
 Introduction
D. The dialectical approach is best understood
by contrasting it to two other relational
approaches.
1. The monologic approach views
contradictions in a relationship to be
“either/or” in nature (i.e., a relationship is
either close or it is distant).
 Introduction
2. The dualistic approach views
contradictions in a relationship as being
separate and unrelated to one another and
assumes that relationships may be evaluated
differently at different times (e.g., measuring
the level of closeness that one partner feels
and then measuring the perceptions of the
other partner).
 Introduction
3. Dialectical theorists support the notion
that multiple points of view play off one
another in every contradiction that is
experienced in a relationship. The dialectical
approach is characterized by framing
contradictions as “both/and” in nature.
 Assumptions
Assumptions
A. Relationships are not linear.
Oscillation (movement back and forth) between
contradictory desires. For example, in self- disclosure is
being imagined as on a continuum of more or less
intimate
B. Relational life is characterized by change.
Relationship process or change. For example, how
relationship are different now than a year ago.
C. Contradiction is the fundamental fact of relational
life.
Contradictions or tensions is always there
D. Communication is central to organizing and
negotiating relational contradictions. The social reality
of contradictions is produced and reproduced by the
communicative action of social actors
 Elements of dialectics:
building the tension
A. Totality acknowledges the interdependent of
people in a relationship. This means that when
something happens to one member of a relationship,
the other members will be affected as well.
B. Contradiction refers to the oppositions that are
experienced in relationships. It involves the constant
interconnection and reciprocal influence of multiple
individual, interpersonal and social factors.
C. Motion refers to the changing nature of
relationships over time. It refers to processual nature
of relationships and change over time.
D. Praxis (practice) refers to the notion that humans
are choice makers.
Basic Relational Dialectics
Basic Relational Dialectics
Autonomy and Connection
Wanting to be separated and connected
Openness and protection
Desire to be open and to maintain privacy
Novelty and predictability
Wanting routines and novelty (new, different,
strange)
Contextual dialectics
It varies from one person to another person, each
person carries his/her context of communication
 Response to Dialectics
Respons Description Example
e
Cyclic Choosing different Being close with
alternati poles for different young people and
on times / people more distant with
older people
Segment Choosing different Being close at
ation poles for different home and more
contexts/ place distant at work
Selection Choosing one pole Being extremely
and acting as close family
though the other members or
does not exist distant with family
members
 Response to Dialectics
Respons Description Example
e
Integrati Compose of 3 1.Being
on subcategories: moderately close
1.Neutralizing – (to all family
compromise members)
2. Disqualifying – 2. Deciding to be
exempting certain open on all topics
issues from the except sex and
general pattern finance
3. Reframing – 3. Deciding that
transforming the closeness can
oppositions so that only be achieved
they no longer if there’s little
appear oppose one distance too.
another
 Critique of Relational
Dialectics
Critical strengths of RDT
O In the short life of the theory, it has stimulated
several studies, thus passing the test of heurism.
O The theory is testable.
O The theory does a very nice job of helping to
understand the true nature of the pushes and pulls
of relational life, thus giving it practical utility.
O It is also beneficial in that it views relationships
as being dynamic rather than static, and it
encourages us to view the interactions that take
place both within and outside of relationships,
suggesting its clear utility value.
 Critique of Relational
Dialectics
Criticisms of RDT
O Critics of the theory argue that the dialectical
tensions that have been identified do not
account for other possible dialectics, suggesting
the theory may be too parsimonious.
O Other research studies have identified additional
dialectics that may be applied to different types
of relationships such as friendships.
O It’s possible that some of the new dialectics may
be subsumed under a few categories which
would still allow RDT to explain relational life in a
fairly parsimonious fashion.