Basic Relational Dialectics

Interactional Dialectics are the tension made through communication of people within a
relationship:

1. Autonomy and Connection-this tension refers to the feeling of wanting to be close to your partner
and being separated from them.

2. Openness and Protection - The second tension portrays the conflict happening between two
people in a relationship who wants to be open and expressive towards their partners while also
wanting to be invulnerable and closed to them.

EXPLANATION:
1.Autonomy and Connection*: This tension is about wanting to be close to your partner while also
needing space from them. For example, in a romantic relationship, you might enjoy spending time
together, but you also value having time alone.
2.Openness and Protection*: This conflict arises when you want to be open and share everything
with your partner, but at the same time, you want to protect yourself and keep some things private.
For instance, you may want to be honest about your feelings, but you're also afraid of being hurt.

3. Novelty and Predictability-Finally, the last conflict talks about the struggles of individuals in a
relationship to be certain and uncertain of what they do. This conflict is the oscillation of knowing
what to do and being spontaneous in a relationship.

EXPLANATION: 3. *Novelty and Predictability*: This tension involves the desire for both
excitement and stability in a relationship. You want to feel secure and know what to expect, but you
also crave new experiences and spontaneity. For example, you might enjoy having routines with your
partner, but you also want to try new things together to keep the relationship fresh.

Contextual Dialectics

are formed through the place of relationship within the culture

1 Public and Private Dialectic-is a dialectic that contrasts the public and private aspects of a
relationship

2. Real and Ideal Dialectic -This contextual dialectic is the result of comparing the reality of
relationships from a fantasized relationship.

EXPLANATION:
1. *Public and Private Dialectic*: This is about the differences between the parts of a relationship
that are visible to others (public) and the parts that are kept more personal and hidden (private). For
example, a couple might act very differently in public, where they're more reserved, compared to
when they're alone, where they feel more comfortable showing affection.
 2. *Real and Ideal Dialectic*: This dialectic occurs when there's a gap between the actual reality of
a relationship and the idealized version of what the relationship should be like. For instance,
someone might compare their real relationship, with its flaws and challenges, to an idealized version
they see in movies or hear about from others.

Response to Dialectics
Cyclic Alternation-Choosing different poles for different times. Refers to the changes happening
over time.
Segmentation-Choosing different poles for different context. Refers to the changes happening due
to context.
Selection- Choosing one pole and pretending that the other one does not exist. Refers to the
prioritization of oppositions
Integration-is the process of synthesizing the oppositions in dialectic tensions.

EXPLANATION:
In simpler terms: -

*Segmentation*: This is about using different approaches or attitudes depending on the

situation. It's like changing how you act or feel based on where you are or who you're with. For
example, you might act more formal at work but relaxed with friends. –
*Selection*: This means picking one option and ignoring the other. It's like focusing on one side
of a situation and ignoring the other side. For instance, someone might only consider their own
viewpoint and dismiss the other person's perspective entirely. –
*Integration*: This involves bringing together different viewpoints or approaches. It's like
finding a way to combine or merge opposing ideas or feelings. For example, in a relationship,
partners might work together to find a compromise that satisfies both of their needs.

This response is composed of three sub strategies:

1. Neutralizing-choosing where to settle in an opposition.

2. Disqualifying Involves the exemption of certain matters from the things that you share
generally.
3. Reframing is the transformation of the oppositions so it would not contradict each other again.

EXPLANATION:

1. *Neutralizing*: This means finding a middle ground or compromise between two opposing
ideas or choices. It's like deciding on a solution that balances both sides. For example, in a debate
 between going out for dinner or staying in, you might compromise by ordering takeout and
having a cozy night at home.
2. *Disqualifying*: This is about excluding certain topics or issues from what you usually
discuss or share with others. It's like deciding that some things are off-limits or not relevant to the
conversation. For instance, you might avoid talking about politics with a friend because you
know it always leads to arguments.
3. *Reframing*: This involves changing how you see or understand opposing viewpoints so they
no longer seem contradictory. It's like finding a new perspective that allows both sides to make
sense together. For example, instead of seeing a disagreement as a clash of opinions, you might
reframe it as an opportunity to learn from each other's perspectives.

Managing Relational Dialectics

Leslie Baxter and Barbara Montgomery have suggested these eight methods for individuals to
control and manage dialectics in their relationship:

1. Denial-Is the process of ignoring the other side of the tension while being responsive to the other
tension.
2. Disorientation - Is the act of managing relational Dialectics by ending the relationship to escape
the tension.
3. Reaffirmation - Is the way of accepting the tension that is happening in a relationship and
believing that it is normal and beneficial for both individuals to undergo tension.
4 Integration - Is the integration of all tensions that is happening in an individual's life and procuring
solutions that would solve all tensions at once. This type of dialectic management may be hard but is
useful in solving tensions,
5 Recalibration Is the process of reframing the tension in a way that it is no longer an opposition in a
relationship.
6. Segmentation - Segmentation is the method of dealing with one tension at a time. It can be crucial for
an individual to solve all tension that is currently happening in a relationship but through segmentation,
all tensions will be noticed and would have an action to eliminate them
7 Alternation-Alternation happens when two individuals in a relationship alternately gives attention to
each of their tensions.
8. Balance-Partners in this method maintains a balance between the situations that they are in while
partially responding to different tensions that affects the relationship

EXPLANATION1. *Denial*: This is when you focus on one part of a problem or tension while
ignoring the other. For example, you might acknowledge your partner's need for space but ignore their
need for closeness.
2. *Disorientation*: This means ending the relationship to avoid dealing with the tension altogether. It's
like breaking up to escape the problems you're facing as a couple.
3. *Reaffirmation*: This involves accepting that tension is a normal part of relationships and can be
beneficial. It's like recognizing that disagreements can help you grow closer as a couple.
4. *Integration*: This is about finding solutions that address all tensions at once. It's like figuring out
ways to deal with different issues in your relationship in a comprehensive way.
5. *Recalibration*: This means changing how you see the tension so it doesn't feel like a problem
anymore. It's like reframing your perspective to make the tension easier to handle.
6. *Segmentation*: This is about dealing with one problem at a time. It's like addressing each issue
separately instead of trying to solve everything all at once.
7. *Alternation*: This involves taking turns focusing on each other's tensions in the relationship. It's like
sharing the responsibility for managing the problems you both face.
8. *Balance*: This means finding a middle ground and responding to different tensions in your
relationship. It's like juggling different aspects of your relationship to maintain harmony.