WEEK 11 THE BEAUTY OF CONFLICT

Watch "The Beauty of Conflict" by Clair Canfield and answer the following questions:

1. Do you think communication is enough in solving a conflict? Justify your

answer.

- Yes, communication is enough to settle a dispute. One significant benefit of

effective communication in resolving a disagreement is a reduction in anxiety,
whether within a family or at work. Good verbal and nonverbal interactions
contribute even more to conflict resolution success, whether between
individuals or within a group.

2. Why does the speaker want us to view conflict positively? What can we get
from adopting this point of view?

- Because most people dislike confrontation, the speaker wishes for us to view
it favorably. Perhaps this is because our physiology leaves us unprepared.
When confronted, the body goes into "fight or flight" mode, releasing
adrenaline in preparation for fighting back or fleeing. All of this came in handy
when humans were living in caves and had to survive in a world full of
ferocious predators. It's less useful at work, where such reactions are more
likely to land you in the middle of a disciplinary or grievance procedure.
Adopting this viewpoint implies that when we fear conflict or perceive it
negatively, we jeopardize our ability to deal with it effectively. In reality,
conflict is neither good nor bad in and of itself. Conflict occurs when two
people with opposing ideas, attitudes, beliefs, or points of view interact. They
believe that their differences will lead to a situation that is not in their best
interests or does not meet their needs. Conflict, on the other hand, may bring
to the surface alternate ways of thinking and behaving as well as alternative
courses of action that you had not considered.

3. What are the three (3) keys enumerated by the speaker in solving a conflict?
Think of a conflict that you are experiencing currently and how to use these
"keys".

- The speaker's three (3) keys to resolving a quarrel are as follows:

● The first step is to acknowledge the true nature of our disagreement.
● Justification is thinking that I am innocent.
● The transformational force of conflict is beginning to learn to speak
responsibly.

- One of the three keys mentioned by the speaker is a dispute at my workplace as a

catering supervisor. This can be especially difficult when the conflict appears to be a
minor issue. Remember that what appears to be a minor annoyance to you may be a
major concern to the others involved in the dispute. Take care not to downplay or
 trivialize the gravity of the situation, and take the time to appreciate its significance.
Focus on the problem, not the people. Almost every organization has "tough"
employees. Indeed, these are the people who are frequently mentioned when
coworkers or supervisors disagree. As the mediator, it is critical that you and the
parties look past difficult or disagreeable people and focus on the issue at hand.

- If the parties use accusatory language or personal attacks, step in. Inform the parties
that you believe they are motivated by good intentions rather than a desire.

4. What does VOCAB mean? How are these concepts important in solving your
conflicts in life?

● VOCAB- Vulnerability, ownership, communication, acceptance, and boundaries all

imply that you should think about how you can be accountable in your disagreement
and how you can effect the change you want in those situations, and it all begins with
vulnerability.

● Vulnerability- is defined as my willingness to be seen in order to reveal who I truly

am, how I truly feel, and even my flaws. to communicate my hidden needs When I'm
vulnerable, I take off my armor of justification and defense and lay down my weapons
of blaming and accusing. This can be terrifying. It's wonderful, however, because it
disarms our problems and allows us to connect rather than fight.

● The letter "O" in VOCAB represents ownership. Ownership entails taking

responsibility for my own needs, feelings, and decisions. "Perhaps you're in the
doghouse and sleeping on the couch. "Perhaps your disagreements have become so
bad that you have a mattress blocking the door to your restroom." The beauty of
ownership is that it begins to help me map the contributions that I make when I
examine my decisions and feelings in my disputes. I can see how I ended up here. I
can see precisely where I'm going, and if it's not working, I can change it.her than
fight.

● Communication- We need to learn to ask questions, listen to others, and express

ourselves. It is not enough that we communicate; how we communicate is equally
important. As a result, I had to learn to avoid ending stories with a period. I had to
start asking questions—questions that would help me understand what was going on
beneath the surface of this conflict, the emotions and desires. If you ask, I can listen.
not waiting for the other person to make a mistake or for me to become defensive,
but instead listening for what is truly important: hearing their demands for change. I'll
be able to explain myself after I've listened. not just rage, but vulnerability and
ownership in expressing how I truly feel, what I want, and what is important to me.
These are the conversations in which I start asking questions, listening, and
expressing myself.

● Acceptance is represented by the letter A in VOCAB, because acceptance entails

accepting reality and letting go of what we cannot control. I have very little control in
a fight. I used to believe that relationships were meant to be eternal. But the truth is
 that conflict exists in all relationships, and I couldn't do anything about it until I let go
of that fairy tale and accepted the reality of my relationships.

● The letter "B" in VOCAB represents boundaries. Boundaries define the ground
rules for acceptable behavior. Boundaries inform others about what I am and am not
comfortable with. This is significant because, while it is difficult to say no and
disappoint someone, the correct answer is "no." We frequently start by laying out the
ground rules for how we will interact. It usually entails the parties agreeing, "We're
not going to call each other names," "We're not going to yell," and "We're going to
keep this talk private." The beauty of this is that defining and honoring those limits
lays the groundwork for trust.

- These ideas are critical in resolving conflicts in our lives because conflict costs
money in wasted time, incorrect decisions, lost personnel, decreased job motivation,
health-care costs, and legal fees. Addressing the issue that caused the conflict does
not always imply resolving the issues that caused the conflict. It's also not about
getting people to like each other. It is instead about collaborating to solve a business
problem. This entails teaching people to understand and appreciate their differences,
as well as how to collaborate effectively. If you avoid disagreement because it is
unpleasant and stressful for you, this is a bad habit. This is a bad idea because
conflicts do not disappear on their own. Reflecting on how to positively perceive
conflict will make it easier to resolve it in a healthy and productive way.