What is conflict management?

Conflict is inevitable. Unresolved differences morph into complex, long-standing disputes that cause
stress, damage relationships, destroy trust, hurt morale, and hinder productivity. Conflicts and
disagreements get a bad name, but they are always a sign that change is needed, is coming, or has
already happened. Developing a positive outlook and practicing these skills can make conflict less
intimidating.

Conflict Management is the use of processes, tools, and skills to find creative and respectful
ways to manage disagreements and disputes. It includes the ability to resolve conflict collaboratively
through effective communication skills, such as active listening and assertive speaking.

Managing conflict is an art. It is something you improve on—not master. Individuals can increase their
conflict competence through skills-based training, coaching, and having leaders who walk the talk. Direct
intervention of conflict resolution practitioners can help organizations become more adept at addressing
conflict and developing conflict competent employees. Successful leaders recognize the importance of
these skills and the impact they have on their organization's health and productivity. They also know
that the lack of these skills can lead to poor morale, decreased productivity, and low retention rates
among employees. The cost of developing conflict competent employees is a fraction of the cost of
unresolved conflict.

What’s Your Conflict Management Style?

Though conflict is a normal and natural part of any workplace, it can lead to absenteeism, lost
productivity, and mental health issues. At the same time, conflict can be a motivator that generates new
ideas and innovation as well as leads to increased flexibility and a better understanding of working
relationships. However, conflict needs to be effectively managed in order to contribute to the success of
organizations.

5 styles of conflict management

Turtle Behaviour (Avoiding)

When acting as a turtle, people tend to hide in their shells in an attempt to avoid conflict and
confrontation. This avoidance might be more important to them than their goal or the relationship.
Sometimes, when people are being a turtle, they will give up on their goal or end a relationship rather
than face up to the conflict or issue. It can involve a decision that, at this time, it is better to avoid
conflict that to confront it.

Examples of when being a turtle might be appropriate include:

 When the goal or relationship is not important to you

 When confronting the issue is unlikely to make any difference

  When the costs of confronting the issue are greater than any benefits

 When it could be better to wait until things cool down, there is more information or other things
have been addressed first.

Shark Behaviour (Competing or Confronting)

When acting as a shark, people are more concerned about their goal than the relationships. If
they must choose, they will often choose their goal at the cost of the relationship. Being a shark often
involves using authority or power-over, ignoring or intimidating others, or using threats or violence.
There can be times when a goal is more important than the relationship.

Examples of when being a shark might be appropriate include:

 When facing an emergency or a decision needs to be made very quickly

 When the stakes are very high, and the potential consequences are significant

 When you are being stood over, threatened, or treated unjustly.

Teddy Bear Behaviour (Accommodating)

When acting as a teddy bear, people value the relationship more than their goal. If they must
choose, they will often give up their goals to help maintain their relationships or to support other
people. Sometimes people acting as teddy bears believe that sticking up for their goals in a conflict will
damage a relationship, so they let the other person have their way. Sometimes, they are willing to set
aside their goals because they believe the value to the relationship is greater than the benefits of
achieving their goals.

Examples of when being a teddy bear might be appropriate include:

 When the issue is more important to the other person than to you

 When strengthening relationships are more important than achieving specific goals

 When the other person needs some care and nurture

 When you have little hope of achieving your goals and you can accept the consequences

Fox Behaviour (Compromising)

 When acting as a fox, people are moderately concerned about both their goals and
relationships. In seeking a compromise, they are willing to give up some of their goals in return for the
other person giving up some of their goals. They seek a middle ground where both sides gain something.

Examples of when being a fox might be appropriate include:

 When you don’t have the time to keep going until everybody’s goals can be met

 When a compromise is OK

 When there is a history of mistrust and long-term conflict

 When compromising helps to move on with a complex issue.

Owl Behaviour (Collaborating)

When acting as an owl, people value both their goals and their relations: they respect their own
goals and care about the other persons goals. As an owl, conflicts are seen as a problem that can be
solved (rather than a competition) and as having the potential to strengthen relationships. The aim is
approach conflict in ways that helps build the relation and discovers ways forward that satisfy everybody
involved. This is often called a win-win approach.

Examples of when being an owl might be appropriate include:

 When your goals and your relationships are both important

 When you want to strengthen your relationships without compromising your needs or goals

 When outcomes depend on everybody’s commitment

 When you need to work through difficult issues that have been damaging relationships

Wrap up: While each of these styles can be helpful, if we are largely stuck in one of the first four styles,
then we are likely to be either not meeting our own needs or damaging our relationships. Being an owl
take practice and persistence, but it involves attitudes, skills and approaches that can be learnt and
strengthened.

How to Handle Conflict in the Workplace

1. Talk with the other person.

 Ask the other person to name a time when it would be convenient to meet.
  Arrange to meet in a place where you won't be interrupted.

2. Focus on behavior and events, not on personalities.

 Say “When this happens …” instead of “When you do …”

 Describe a specific instance or event instead of generalizing.

3. Listen carefully.

 Listen to what the other person is saying instead of getting ready to react.

 Avoid interrupting the other person.

 After the other person finishes speaking, rephrase what was said to make sure you understand
it.

 Ask questions to clarify your understanding.

4. Identify points of agreement and disagreement.

 Summarize the areas of agreement and disagreement.

 Ask the other person if he or she agrees with your assessment.

 Modify your assessment until both of you agree on the areas of conflict.

5. Prioritize the areas of conflict.

 Discuss which areas of conflict are most important to each of you to resolve.

6. Develop a plan to work on each conflict.

 Start with the most important conflict.

 Focus on the future.

 Set up future meeting times to continue your discussions.

7. Follow through on your plan.

 Stick with the discussions until you’ve worked through each area of conflict.

 Maintain a collaborative, “let’s-work-out-a-solution” attitude.

8. Build on your success.

 Look for opportunities to point out progress.

 Compliment the other person’s insights and achievements.

  Congratulate each other when you make progress, even if it’s just a small step. Your hard work
will pay off when scheduled discussions eventually give way to ongoing, friendly communication.

8 Essential Tips to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace

Handling Conflict

1. Don’t Avoid Workplace Conflict

 “ Conflict should be addressed head-on before it has the opportunity to escalate and become
toxic.” - Stuart Hearn, CEO of Clear Review

 Conflict is inevitable, so don’t shy away from it, manage conflict instead. As senior leaders, it is
your duty to tackle the issues fairly and swiftly. The sooner you act, the easier it will be to
resolve conflict at work.

2. Put Yourself in Their Shoes

 “You will never get to truly understand the motive behind the conflict if you’re not able to put
yourself in their shoes.” - Shaun Bradley, Director of People at Perkbox

 When handling conflict, actively listen and listen carefully to both parties. Put yourself in their
day-to-day position to get a true sense of what has motivated the issue.

3. Stick to the Facts

 “Where a mutually acceptable outcome isn’t possible, make decisions that are grounded in
fairness and understanding.” - Paul Russell, Director of Luxury Academy London

 While we’d all like to resolve conflict in agreement, it’s sometimes not possible. So, it’s crucial to
stick to the facts and ensure that no personal feelings or agendas enter into the equation.

4. Focus on the Lesson

 “Focus on what would you do differently next time, so you would prevent such situation from
happening.” - Simona Frumen, Conflict Resolution Expert and Mediator

 See conflict as an opportunity for positive change, growth, and improvement. What is the
common ground? What can you learn? How can the business benefit from the issues raised?
 Preventing Conflict

5. Communicate Business Values

 “If values are unclear there will be conflict because people will not be sure what makes them a
hero or a villain in the organisation.” - Sarah Brown, Co-founder of inspire2aspire

 Poor communication is one of the biggest reasons for conflict vin a work environment or
otherwise. Possessing and communicating company values is essential to any growing business.
Company values help to ground decision making, encourage positive behaviours, and help to
recruit and retain like-minded employees.

6. Positive Employee Relations

 “Positive Employee Relations can be an intangible and enduring asset, a source of sustained
competitive advantage.” - Jerome Forde, Forde HR Cloud

 Of course, we’d all prefer to avoid conflict arising the first place, so investing in a culture of
positive employee relations is essential for a productive workplace. This includes treating all
staff with dignity and respect, being transparent, and establishing fair management systems.

7. Lead by Example

 “Invest in training programs for your senior staff to learn about how to handle difficult
conversations.” - Gavin White, Managing Director at Autotech Recruit

 While some employees possess natural management traits, most don't so ensure your
leadership teams are well trained and supported.

8. Praise and Training

 “Give the team achievable incentives to meet group targets and reward them for working
together effectively.” - Emily Gray, Founding Director of Bain & Gray

 Dealing with conflict head-on and with these tips in mind can help. It is up to senior
management to create an environment of cooperation long term, not competition between
staff and team members, and the little things matter. Group activities, days out, well-being
workshops, and team lunches help with this effort.