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PRINCIPLES THAT
MAKE HER WANT
YOU:
You have a great conversation with her and it seems like you’re
really connecting. Maybe you just get her number, maybe you
take her out once or twice and have a great time with her...or
maybe you even kiss her or more.
And then...
All of a sudden...
She’s...
GONE...
This scenario plays out hundreds of times a day for men all
across the world.
Listen, texting seems like a small thing, and in some ways it is...
And, “How do I avoid getting put into the friend zone when I’m
texting a girl?”
And, “If a girl’s friend gives me her number, how should I text her
to make sure she doesn’t just think it’s a ‘friendly’ thing and still
not make it weird?”
And, “I’m a little older and I just got back into the dating
game...How do I effectively text women?”
Etc...
So, to help you out, I decided to put this simple guide together
with the 7 most important principles I know when it comes to
attractive texting.
When you follow the 7 principles in this guide, women see you as
an attractive man: You attract high quality women AND never get
put into the friend zone or get “rejected” by a woman simply
because of texting ever again.
So, here are 7 texting principles that make her WANT YOU when
you apply them CONSISTENTLY:
And I asked her what made her think of guys as “just friends” or
as “real options” when they TEXT her...
She said, “Well, first of all, if the guy texts me too much it really
turns me off. One guy sent me, and I’m serious...99 messages in
one day with no reply from me...
So, send a woman ONE (short) text, and then WAIT FOR HER
TO RESPOND before you text her again.
Would you just keep talking without letting the other person talk in
real life? No...So let her participate in the conversation when
you’re texting her too.
Don’t be like this guy who keeps on texting a woman who doesn’t
respond:
Send her a text, then don’t text her again until she replies. And,
trust me, she got your text.
Now, if she doesn’t respond, you can wait 5-7 days and then send
her ONE more text just in case something really crazy happened
or she actually didn’t get your last text (less than 1% of the time).
So, you can ONLY lose if you double, triple, or quadruple text her:
So send her one (short) text, and then let her respond before you
text her again (see #3).
This one tip alone will make you 1000x more attractive, separate
you from all the guys texting her 3000 times per day, and protect
your self-confidence all at the same time.
Remember: patience is painful and bitter but its fruit is sweet and
delicious.
So, always wait for her to respond no matter how much you want
to send that next text. Then, if she doesn’t reply after a few days,
send her ONE more text if you want...
And then, if she’s not interested and never responds, move on.
If it’s starting to go past the point of a few texts back and forth in a
single day, wait until the next day and pick up the conversation
again from where you left off and do it as if there was no “pause”
in the conversation at all. Just continue normally the next day as if
you had just kept texting her...and, of course, set up an in-person
meetup: “Hey, this conversation will be a lot more fun in person.
Let’s grab a smoothie and go for a hike on Sunday...”
You can send a few playful texts back and forth between dates...
However, you want to get to know her in person and then let her
THINK about you when you’re not out with her.
She can’t do that when her phone is constantly buzzing with your
presence...the validation of your attention might feel good to her
for a minute, but it will get annoying and destroy her interest in
you extremely quickly after that.
But his SHORT, SIMPLE, text with a little emoticon for context
said everything he wanted to say in a much more attractive way.
The girl I interviewed continued: “And if his texts are kind of short
and in a kind of “cold” tone, I will be more interested in him. I
know that’s weird, but in the beginning stages of dating that’s
what makes me want to know the guy more...
...If he texts me a lot a lot a lot, I will not text him back for sure.”
And, what she says confirms what I see when clients start texting
this way: they have MUCH more success.
So, text women less often, keep your texts short, fun, and simple,
use texting ONLY to move things toward the next in-person
meetup, and after you send her a text, don’t text her again until
she responds.
If you follow this principle, your success rate will go way up.
Why?
It keeps the tension alive and keeps her chasing you a little bit. It
seems like a small thing, and it is, but these “small” things can be
HUGE when you first meet a girl.
Then, a day or two later, they randomly ran into each other in
person and SHE texted HIM again afterward.
Remember: It’s okay for her to double-text you. The same rules
don’t apply to women. We want her to chase you.
So, give her the opportunity to chase you. And, she will, if she’s
interested.
So, fight off the voice that tells you, “Text her, text her, text her
back, text her back, text her back!!! She’ll be mad at us or forget
about us if we don’t!! Besides, it’s just one little text...”
No! Don’t send her that last little text and she’ll like you MORE.
So, let her text to you be the last one at the end of a conversation
whenever you can.
It’s okay for your text to be the last one in a conversation once in
a while, so don’t panic if it happens, but just be aware of this
dynamic and allow her text to be the last one when you notice it.
At the very least, don’t send her long paragraphs when she’s
sending you short sentences...make sense?
So, don’t sit there waiting for her to text you or text you back.
=)
Come back a little while later and check to see if she texted you.
Not only does this make you more attractive to her, it also makes
you feel more confident because you’re in a stronger position
when you’re not sitting there wondering if she got your text or not
or when/if she’ll respond.
So don’t wait around by your phone texting her back and forth all
day long. Make it more natural by sending her a text, moving
forward with your life, and then coming back to your conversation
later.
You don’t have to text her back right away, and she doesn’t have
to text you back immediately either.
Be patient, let things develop naturally over time, and let her
interest in you catch up to your interest in her by adding time and
space between your interactions with her.
Enough said.
One of the WORST texts you can send a woman is any variation
of the following:
NO.
Or, “I’m headed to this cool new wine bar on Thursday around
8:30...join me?”
And trust me...if she can’t make the day and time you selected,
she’ll suggest a specific alternative day and time if she’s actually
interested in you.
She’ll text you back something like, “Sounds fun but I’m busy
Thursday...can we meet up on Sunday?”
Why?
If you keep asking her out and she keeps declining, it kills her
interest in you and crushes your confidence at the same time.
So, after you have an awesome date with her, don’t ask her,
“Hey, when can we hang out again?”
Instead, just send her ONE short, simple text like: “Thanks for the
fun time tonight Allison :)”
Then, wait a few days, choose a specific activity you want to do,
choose a day and time that works for you, and then invite her to
join you.
(Also, notice that she doesn’t use a period and uses an emoji...)
BIG MISTAKE...
You might notice that he made another mistake after that, feels
nervous about it, and tries to apologize for it...BUT, what he
doesn’t realize is that asking her “When’s the 2nd date?” is MUCH
worse than making a funny autocorrect texting error.
And then let that be the last text for the night...
Or, “Thank YOU Jessica. I had a great time too! :) Have a good
night” <Notice no period at the end...do this most of the time *pro
tip*
Then, he should just wait a few days, find something fun to do,
and ask her to join him.
If she texts him in-between, he can send a few fun, light texts
back and forth, but he should keep it to a minimum – just enough
to set up the next in-person meetup.
Make sense?
Cool.
NO!
YES!
YES!
Be specific and direct when you ask her out and she’ll be more
attracted to you and MUCH more likely to meet up with you.
Now, that doesn’t mean that you can’t text her back and forth a
little bit and have some fun with her while you’re texting (see #6
and #7...)...
However, what it does mean is that you should NOT try to build
an emotional connection with her via text.
Most guys forget the purpose of texting and try to deepen their
connection with her when they text her.
So:
-Politics
-Religion
-Sex (explicitly)
-How you “feel” about her
-How much you need her/want to be with her
-Negative news: “Did you hear about that tsunami that killed
10,000 people yesterday...”
-Negative topics
-Your “horrible” childhood
-The job you hate and the boss you hate even more
-Your issues and problems
-Your negative emotions
Etc.
They can NEVER increase her interest in you. So, stay away from
them in general in the early stages of dating and definitely stay
away from them when you’re texting her.
That’s one of the biggest myths out there that can hurt your
chances with a woman.
Having shared new experiences with her and having FUN with
her actually builds a stronger emotional bond with her than any
kind of “deep” conversation ever can.
When you tease her, she feels STRONG ATTRACTION for you if
you do it playfully.
Those strong emotions are awesome for her and they make her
more attracted to you.
When you text her about negative and heavy subjects, she feels
STRONG, NEGATIVE emotions and associates them with YOU.
Not good.
When you text her telling her about all of your deep feelings for
her, she feels STRONG REPULSION and maybe even
DISAPPOINTMENT that you’re ruining it with her even if she liked
you before.
So, keep your texting light and playful from now on and you’ll do a
lot better.
“Why don’t you come over and play with my...”(before you’ve slept
with her)
NO.
Keep it LIGHT and PLAYFUL when you text her. Then, set up
your next meetup with her.
If you figure out that she isn’t right for you, move on without
drama. Until then, just have as much fun with her as possible...
I can’t possible say this too often, so I’ll say it again: keep it
LIGHT and PLAYFUL in the beginning stages of
dating...especially when it comes to texting.
Now, besides keeping things light and being playful, you also
want to make sure you’re building a little tension with her while
you’re texting so you don’t accidentally slip into the friend zone:
And, they can generally take A LOT more hard teasing than you
think.
So, tease her and build some tension when you’re texting her.
Or, “Ha. Those are some big words for a little girl...”
Now, here are a few ways you can tease her and build some
tension when you’re texting her:
For example, if she texts you: “Do you have a bandana I can
wear?”
You can respond: “No, I don’t have a “banana” for you...you girls
only think about ONE THING! ;)”
“I’m pretty sure I saw you in the bushes a little while ago when I
was changing my clothes...are you stalking me again?” (The
“again” makes this even more hilarious...)
“You’re so adorable...You’re like the 2nd cutest girl I’ve talked to all
day! ;)”
“It’s a good thing you aren’t here right now or I would have to kick
your ass ;)”
“What gift are you thinking about buying me right now? ;)”
Etc.
Get creative with it and banter back and forth with her a little bit.
And, of course, she’ll probably tease you and play back with you
too whenever you tease her. That’s what we want.
Again, notice how his texts are shorter than hers, how his texts
communicate a lot in a few words, how he’s being playful, and
how he teases her and assumes she’s attracted to him.
Listen, teasing her and building tension with her is how you make
sure she doesn’t think you’re BORING. So do it when you text
her.
And, if she truly gets upset when you tease her (this is RARE if
you do it properly, but it can happen), acknowledge it but don’t
apologize:
Then, just see how she reacts and take it from there...
If she continues to get super emotional over the next few days or
weeks in her reactions to your texts, consider moving on to
someone who’s a little more stable.
And, if you tease her and she defends herself, validate her
instead of continuing to tease/challenge her:
YOU: “Okay cool. I was a little worried for a sec but now I’m good
haha...”
I hate you ;)
Me too
Ok ;)
Of course :)
Notice how in this example he just adds a smiley face :-) to his
SHORT message instead of saying something “sappy” and it
conveys all the necessary information, including emotion?
Notice how he didn’t need to write a long text to say the exact
same thing?
NO...
NO...
NEVER apologize for texting her: if you follow the principles in this
guide you won’t have anything to apologize for.
If you apologize for texting her you might as well not ask her out
because she’s going to lose attraction for you...
And the emoticon doesn’t help or add anything in this case either.
It just makes an already weak text even weaker.
NO...
DO NOT start sending her this kind of text every day (or at all) if
you want to date her.
If you do, she’ll just show it to the guy she’s actually dating while
they’re lying in bed together: “Hey, look at what this guy keeps
texting me...LOL”
The fact that it will destroy any attraction she might have felt for
you is certain.
Why?
See the difference? If not, she definitely will, so trust me and just
use haha or a winky-face emoticon instead.
After you’ve slept with a woman, you can turn her on with a text...
And, it’s almost always MORE of a turn-on for her when she’s not
“supposed” to be turned on. Like, when she’s at work or out
shopping with her mom.
“I can’t even tell you what I’m thinking about doing to you right
now...”
“You better get ready because as soon as you get home I’m going
to pin your arms behind your head and ravish you exactly the way
I want to.”
“Imagine my hand slowly and firmly making its way up your leg as
my other arm holds you firmly by your lower back and I look at
you intensely and kiss you passionately...”
“Don’t think about how I’m going to pull your hair and spank you
like the bad girl you are later. Seriously, stop thinking about it ;)”
Etc.
A text like any of these will make the odds extremely high that
she’ll be ready to “go” the next time she sees you if you’ve
already been with her and she’s attracted to you/in love with you.
So go out and use your weapon the right way starting today
because it’s the best thing for you AND all the women you
meet from now on. =)
And, if you’re really ambitious, go grab one of our best-selling programs now:
Cheers,
Jim Wolfe
DatingAdviceForMenWhoLoveWomen.com