What Taylor Swift has Taught Me
The Round Table
by the students, for the students
2018-2019
Adviser:
Kerry Clark
Editor-in-Chief:
Marshall Roll ‘20
Staff Writers:
Kyrie Woodard ‘19
Michelle Lee ‘19
Krystal Larkin ‘19
Grace Generous ‘19
Skyler King ‘20
Winnie Wu ‘21
Gabi Cunningham ‘21
Erika Piotrowski ‘21
Maddie Roberts ‘22
Art and Photo:
Claire Bennett ‘19
Bella Cooley ‘19
Krystal Larkin ‘19
Krystal Huang ‘20
Caleb Flegel ‘20
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Hayes Terms The Unequivocal Scientific A Mango, A Broom, What Taylor Swift
Rejected May Term courses with Proof that Vaccines and Ceiling Fan has Taught Me
A final reflection on an influential artist an agressive commonality Cause Autism
Warning: Inflammatory
The unique commonality linking
household items
A final reflection
on an influential artist
Kyrie Woodard and
By: KRYSTAL LARKIN said. At this interpretation, Swift finds herself, but
The Round Table
Skyler King p3 Gabi Cunningham p3 Krystal Larkin p4
also realizes she doesn’t need the barrage of crit-
Michelle Lee p2
Staff Writer and Artist
icism to decide her future. Instead, she casts the
With TS7 upon us, let’s reflect on what fake friends and critics into the shadows, and she
Swift has taught us this far. Although Swift’s songs welcomes her real friends, people who love her for
are mostly predictable, entailing break-ups and love who she is and stick to her side through thick and
stories, I find her allegorical music started with her thin. Therefore, she cast off her “bad reputation” Vol. IV No. VIII Spokane, WA Tuesday, May 14, 2019 Saint George’s School
Senior Year
album 1989. Yes, some of the songs entailed love she received in the media by other celebrities, and
and boyfriends, however her quote stuck, “She lost she accepted herself and sought out her real friends,
him, but found herself. And somehow that meant making her feel “alive”.
everything.” I interpret this as her turning point in Lastly, with TS7 approaching, Swift has al-
Some advice and what it means to me
EE.” Marceline Tang’s advice applied both to ty, that speaks the loudest. “Have fun,” he
music. It’s a point when she reduces her talk on the ready released her possible themes and quote. “Step By: GRACE GENEROUS
incoming seniors and those that are currently said. As I talked to other seniors about their
frivolous obsessive quest for the perfect boyfriend into the light and let it go” stands as a close to Rep- Staff Writer
struggling through IB testing. She said, “If advice, I found this theme to be one that was
and begins creating something new and much more utation. Now, with her anger and previous hardships
relevant. passed, she is ready to start over, ready to welcome a As senior year comes to a close they are doing the IB, then finish it strong. the most impactful. Senior year is a stress-
She found herself, and rather than constantly new light and move on. Swift holds the will to leave and IB tests loom in the alarmingly close Through it might be hard, the result is worth ful time, but it’s also one where you finally
focusing on her love interests, she finds her purpose. her past mistakes and ordeals behind, paving the way future, I can’t help but reflect on my time at it.” I’m sure many teachers would agree. get to see the culmination of the four years
I believe many young people could benefit from for the new, brighter future. High school could be Saint George’s, particularly my senior year. Adam Hasdorff’s advice, given in you’ve put into high school. After college ap-
Swift’s newer approaches. This interpretation is sup- perceived as such. The outcasts can have that “bad Originally, I wanted to share a laundry list of the Adam-est fashion possible, might just plications are done, it’s worth it to take a step
ported further by the 3-year hiatus she took between reputation,” not fitting in and being snubbed by the advice, but I found that the list felt cold and be the kick in the pants that students strug- back and enjoy the last few months. High
1989 and Reputation. Swift’s latest album took a so-called popular kids. In the end, prom or being the distant. It was with this in mind that I decid- gling to end the year need. “Look,” he said, school definitely isn’t forever, but it certainly
darker, more vengeful, and satirical twist on all the best in sports isn’t the finale; greater achievements ed to include my classmates. Their advice, “you’re going to be stuck here for four years feels like it’s been your entire life by the time
negative events that took place in those 3 years. lay ahead. Like Swift said, “Step into the light and both funny and tinged with some regret, en- so you might as well try instead of wasting you’re a senior. Allowing some time to close
Her quotes for this album seemed to be a let it go.” riched the following guidance for next year’s four years of your life.” Although harsh, that chapter before heading off to school
continuing meaning of her previous one. “In the class of seniors. his advice reflects a lot of people’s feelings might be the best advice this article can offer.
death of her reputation, she felt truly alive,” Swift The end of senior year is ripe with towards their senior year, wishing they had On a final note, I’d like to say what
lamentations about what people should have done more with the time they had. Saint George’s has meant to me. I may not
Heard in the Hallways done better, earlier, or at all. My advice for On the other hand, there are se-
niors who boast of their achievements in
be a life-er, but I spent the last six years of
my life here. I’ve found that the beauty of
A collection of quotes collected from various teachers and students the juniors that are gearing up for college
season next year: please start writing your high school. One such student is Xander Saint George’s is in the freedoms it allows its
By: MICHELLE LEE college applications sooner. Please know Werkman, who advised seniors to apply students. Freedom to talk to teachers when-
Staff Writer what the FAFSA and the CSS are. And please Early Decision somewhere. His reasons? ever you need to talk to them. Freedom to
start studying for IB exams sooner than your “It’s so awesome. You can have senioritis take care of urgent business, even if it means
“Yum yum yum. Learning learning learning.” last Thursday of classes (not speaking from for so much longer.” His triumphant reply leaving class for a few minutes. Most impor-
– Chad Rigsby, March 2019 experience). was something I enjoyed hearing because it tantly, Saint George’s offers freedom of the
Classmates I talked to shared similar divulged from the multitude of answers that mind and an ability to explore and express
“Don’t worry, my MySpace is private.”
advice, like Kyrie Woodard who suggested came from places of regret. It reminded me ideas in classes without being told what to
– Jonathan Rowland, May 2019 Illustration by Krystal Larkin
that incoming seniors should start working of how important it is to celebrate in senior think. I’ve truly enjoyed my four years of
“I don’t have any depth perception. I just guess.” on their college applications as early as this year, especially when one is so bogged down high school here and I believe they have set
– Jonathan Rowland, April 2019 May summer. Other equally important advice by college applications, IAs, and the EE.
It is Ethan Johnson’s advice how-
me up to thrive in college. I hope that this
article helps guide the next year of seniors to
revolved around the IB extended essay. As
“I quoted Yoda and I said it was a great philosopher.”
– Jacob Whitman, March 2019
Birthdays Kai Jacobs so eloquently put it, “Do your ever, surprisingly profound in its simplici- thrive in their final year of high school.
5/3 Paul Darnall
“Hayes must be a communist.” – Dave Holte, March 2019
“I’m a middle schooler at heart.” – Dave Holte, March 2019
5/5 Quincy Brown Memorial Day
5/6 Jake Gliniak Remember to honor the always-alive soldiers on May 27
“He has freedom of choice; I just don’t want him to.” 5/8 Lilly Glennie by almost all the states to honor those who
By: WINNIE WU
– Josh Hayes, March 2019 5/8 Ethan Wu had died when serving for the U.S. Armed
Staff Writer
“My favorite book is Horton Hears a Who.” 5/9 Joaquin Kiltz Forces. Many families observe the day by
In May 1868, General John A. visiting memorials and participating in
– Liam Elsensohn, April 2019 5/12 Katie Carter Logan, the leader of an organization for the parades during the day off. In addition, each
“Woah, I don’t swear.” – Jonathan Rowland, May 2019 5/14 Jasmine Brown Civil War veterans, called for a nationwide year on Memorial Day, a national moment
“I have selective literacy.” – Skyler King, May 2019 5/14 Max Rickard day to remember soldiers who had died. of remembrance takes place at 3:00 PM of
5/16 Maddy Christiansen From 1868-1971, Memorial Day was known the local time.
“Why park in the lines when you can park outside of them?” as Decoration Day and was observed on
5/20 Chase Foster Originally, Memorial Day was
– Pete O’Brien, May 2019 May 30th. However, Memorial Day did not called Decoration Day because participants
5/24 Ava Bush officially become a holiday until a law was
“Conjugate… Is that like a conjugal visit? would decorate the graves of the Union and
5/24 Tim Wang passed by Congress in 1971. It was observed Confederate soldiers (continued on page 2)
– Pete O’Brien, May 2019 5/25 Zadie Rigsby Illustration by Krystal Huang
who were buried. In the beginning, the hol-
iday was to honor only those who were lost
when fighting the Civil War because it was
the war with the most casualties in American
history. Later, it became a day to observe all
fallen soldiers.
You might not know that one of the
earliest commemorations was observed by
the recently freed slaves from the south. As
the Civil War came to a close, thousands of
Union soldiers were held as prisoners and
sent into camps. During the time before the
Confederates surrendered, more than 250
soldiers died in these camps—some died
from diseases and were buried in a massive
grave. On May 1, 1865, more than 1,000
formal freed slaves gathered in the camp to
rebury the dead in a proper site.
Although not all the soldiers’ names
were known, they deserved to be remem-
bered by the people they served even after
the last minute of life. Not everyone plays
the same direct role to help maintain peace
of a nation as soldiers do. However, it is
surely important for us to remember those
who decided to pay their life in return for
peace of the next generation. In this peaceful
era, we do not need to worry about wars and
fights, and I think it is even more important
for us to be grateful of what these soldiers
sacrificed. Thank you to all the passed sol-
diers and rest in peace.
Charade The Unequivocal Scientific Proof
The once in a lifetime comedy that Vaccines Cause Autism
By: ERIKA PIOTROWSKI By: SKYLER KING
Staff Writer Staff Writer
In today’s world there are few com-
edies that strike me as memorable. Thus, we
...
as audience members must go back in time to
1963’s epic blockbuster comedy, Charade. Let
me be frank, there are few movies that can be

Hayes Terms rivaled by ones with Audrey Hepburn and Cary

Rejected May Term courses with an agressive commonality
By: KYRIE WOODARD and
MICHELLE LEE
Staff Writers
May Term is an annual occurrence
here at our beloved Saint George’s School.
May Term attempts to teach us certain life
skills which we cannot learn with solely a
whiteboard whilst locked in a room with a
teacher. Of course, it is “fun” as well. How-
ever, this year, I must admit I took note of
the lackluster choices of May Terms. Thus,
I wondered if there was a selection of May
Terms that were rejected. After quite some
time researching, I found that I was correct.
Many May Terms were rejected, and I found
that they had a common theme. As a result
of this theme, these rejected May Terms are
entitled Hayes Terms.
Hayes, Joshua Michael: CIA Boot Camp
In this course you’ll go through rigorous
cross-country like obstacles while learning
skills like sharp shooting and German. Hayes
holds you to the same standard as Slate; you
better already know Chinese, Spanish, and
calculus by the time you’re 5.
Coleman, Seth: Bower Birding
Hayes has a mission in the CIA. Seth makes
it his mission to teach you the structural in-
tegrity, best colors and sticks, and the proper
mating calls of all bowerbirds. As the final
test you will have to properly court a bower
bird and write a 4000-word essay on it with
no (NO) typos.
Nolting, Jamie: SPEEEEEDDD TYPING
Have you ever wanted to write a million
words per minute? Do you dream of editing
jobs in 30 languages? Well, look no further!
In this class, you are guaranteed to increase
your writing speed by five thousand. Your
fingers will move so fast, they can fly!
* If this scenario occurs, our previous EMT
Joshua Hayes will declare him 100% dead.
O’Brien, Pete: Chaotic Combustion
In this course you’ll learn how to set things
on fire using the glare off your bald head*
and an array of different chemicals. The goal
of this course is to make explosions so loud
that Joshua Hayes will yell at you from his
room.
*If you are not bald, please do not apply for
this course.
Ji, Qing Qing: Listen to music!!(!!!!!)
This rigorous course teaches you how to play
your music louder than ever before! All mu-
sic is allowed, from rock to opera to pop to
vine compilations. By the end of this course,
we expect Josh Hayes to be so distracted that
his ability to grade IB papers will tank, sup-
plying the Econ students with definitive 7s.
Rigsby, Chad: Where’s Jesus?
This course will teach you everything you
need to know about how to identify Jesus
in books, movies, TV shows, songs, and
Die Hard. This course encompasses how
to discover a Christ figure’s location, age,
metaphor, time zone, hair color, shoe size,
sexuality, gender, blood type, etc. As a final
project, you will present on why Hayes is
Saint George’s one and only Christ figure.
Buchmann, Cassey: Work your Jamón off
In this 2-week training course, put your
physical endurance to the test! At the end of
this Hayes Term, you will have crunches that
kill The Rock and your bottom will be so
hot that you could bounce a weight.* When
you arrive late, you have to do 420 push-
ups. Some say it’s impossible, but Joshua
Michael Hayes has completed the course
several times and expects his son to finish it
in 12 languages. [*Lost in translation]
Darnall, Jeff: Booted!
All the passive-aggressive ways to kick
someone out of a room. You’ll learn different
ways to do so, including monotone, stern
Grant in them.
Many of you reading this probably
have no idea to whom I am referencing, so let
glares, boredom induction, absolute silence,
me elaborate. It is common knowledge that
and many more! You’ll either be kicked out
Audrey Hepburn is the late 20th century queen
of class or so bored that Hayes would call
of film. Maybe you have heard of Breakfast at
your existence a deadweight loss.
Tiffany’s, My Fair Lady, or Funny Face.
Now, let me address the well-known
Holte, David: Cooking with Ginger Cary Grant. Grant often starred in blockbuster
You didn’t know Holte was a chef, but he is! comedies that were extreme box-office hits, A Mango, Broom, and Ceiling Fan
He takes you through time to the equal rights like Brining up Baby with the other iconic film The unique commonality linking household items
movement, where Holte fought for his rights star, Katherine Hepburn. However, from per-
as a ginger man. Now he’s dedicated his life sonal experience, many of you don’t like 1940 By: GABI CUNNINGHAM 1969, two bulls pulling a yoke represented
to the proper use of ginger: ginger rice, gin- comedies, so we will stick to a more modern Staff Writer the INC, but after internal fighting, the party
ger smoothies, ginger ice cream, and ginger one. What could these three objects split into two and the INC that is known
tacos. At the end of this course you will feed Charade tops my list of comedies for possibly have in common? Oddly enough, today received an open palm. The ECI was
both Hayes and his son a wonderful ginger multiple reasons. First, in my opinion, it is a Indian politics. Due to poverty, a rigid caste then forced to decide which party would
themed course. classic comedy thriller. Hepburn’s character, system, and two-hundred years of colonial- remain with their established symbol and
Regina Lampert, is a recent widow, with her ism, India has consistently had low literacy which would consult the list of free sym-
Rowland, Jonathan: Satanic Bibles! husband having been murdered for mysterious rates. As of 2015, India’s literacy rate was bols.
Have you ever wanted to sacrifice your soul reasons. Regina then learns her husband had 69.3%, 17% below the world average. This process has been so common
to the greater good? Wished to summon four different passports, a false name, and had During India’s first post-independence since India obtained its independence that
someone greater than anyone the SGS com- a fortune of 250,000 dollars in one overnight election in 1951, the national literacy rate the Communist Party of India has been
munity has ever seen? Well look no further, bag. However, the CIA has no idea were the was even lower at approximately 16%. As the only national party to have its symbol
as this course will accurately teach you how fortune is. a result, voters wouldn’t be able to identify remain unchanged.
to summon the devilish Joshua Hayes uti- Generally, the movie is about Regina’s candidates’ names and parties on ballots if New parties and candidates follow
lizing only your sanity, a furry friend*, and perilous adventure with deception and fraud. they were to resemble what we see in the the same process as the parties from 1951
whatever the opposite of a banana is! Who does one trust when the world is thrown United States. did, with some minor changes. In 2015, the
*only My Little Pony figurines will be upside down? I highly recommend Charade. The newly established Election ECI began allowing parties to submit their
utilized, as veganism is supported in this Plus, the music causes audience members to sit Commission of India (ECI) recognized the own designs for one of their three choices,
learning environment. on the edge of their seat in utter suspense. One problem and hired M. S. Sethi to create with the stipulation that the designs didn’t
must watch to find out if she makes the right a list of symbols to represent parties and depict animals. Sethi retired from adding
Werkman, Russell: Acting 101 choice and where the fortune is located. independent candidates. As explained by K. his drawings to the free symbol list in the
This course is method acting: you will learn F. Wilfred, principal secretary of the ECI, 90s and passed away in the early 2000s,
how to become one of the Werkmans. You’ll Sethi and several other officials discussed largely unknown for his role in defining the
become an absolute giant, like Russell and day-to-day objects that could serve as sym- biggest names in politics throughout the
his entire family. You’ll grow so tall that you bols in the upcoming election, including country.
will intimidate Joshua Hayes. That’s right, an mangos, brooms, ceiling fans, and tooth- If you are planning on starting a
actual CIA agent. brushes. Once the list was finalized, parties Freak Power campaign for office in India
picked three symbols of their choice and the though, don’t worry. There are still over 200
Instructor Unclear: The Secret Life of ECI would allocate them one of the three. symbols left from Sethi’s time working for
Joshua Hayes v. 2 Current Prime Minister Narendra the ECI, such as a toaster, cake, cauliflower,
In this course, you will learn everything Modi’s party, the Bharatiya Janata Party frying pan, necktie, socks, toffee, and water-
(everything!) about Hayes’ CIA career and (BJP), was originally given an oil lamp. But melon. With the final stages of a heated
his run-in with the German Mafia. Why did in 1977, their merger with the Janata party general election days away, there has never
Hayes really come to Saint George’s? How led to the adoption of the lotus flower. The been a better time to get involved in Indian
did he get his Econ job without an Econ BJP’s main opponents, the Indian National politics and join the 2,301 official political
degree? Is Slate a sleeper agent? Find out Congress (INC) also had a complicated path parties in campaigning under the face of
this… and more!!!!! Illustration by Krystal Larkin to their current symbol. Between 1951- daily-household objects.