CBT University - CBT101

Presented by Toni & William

Negotiations

All play starts with negotiations, and the question to both (or all) parties is, “What do I hope to
get out of this? What am I willing to give?” There are many variations of SM, yet people tend to
think that the way they play is how everyone should play. This isn’t true, which is why play style
communication is very important. My play style I call win-win SM.

Win-Win SM

We all have a universe of what we like to do within the scope of the BDSM scene. Most of us like
some variation of flogging or spanking, but as it gets to the more unusual fetishes, such as
watersports, the number of participants dwindle. So when playing with someone I first like to
determine what he/she likes and match it with what I like, and put together this sort of Venn
diagram in my head:

Universe of what I like Universe of what he/she likes

Things just for me Things just for him/her

My side is fatter because of

Simple supply & demand

Intersection of mutual desires

Armed with this knowledge I can decide what is the best way to give my bottom a “good trip”
while making the experience mutually enjoyable. Happily for me, what I enjoy are the screams.

I don’t much mind how I get my screams, so in that way my universe is rather large.

The “just for me” or “just for him” cusps are of course adjustable. If one is dealing with a
submissive, then the “things just for me” cusp might be larger, because he derives joy in pleasing
me. It follows that for a submissive the cusp that represents “things that are just for him” might
be smaller, because you want to reinforce his submission by denying him. That decision is up to
the sensation giver/Top/Dominant.

If you are dealing with a masochist you might give a masochist a little more in the “just for him”
column to keep his interest up. If you are a submissive/bottom, and are trying out a little
pleasure torture, then the “just for him” cusp is likely to be the larger.

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 Weapons in the CBT Arsenal aka Tools in the CBT Toolkit

Pleasure Torture

Designed to hold a man on the edge of orgasm (preferably for hours at a time). Techniques
demonstrated include:

! Switching strokes
! Adding light pain (from the torture section)
! Intermission
! Over-stimulation
! Under-stimulation
! Combination strokes
! Fellatio with teeth or the threat of teeth
! Urethral/perineal compression
! Distraction

Anyone can enjoy pleasure torture, even tops who are neither submissive nor masochistic. The
joy for the giver in pleasure torture includes giving the receiver a “good ride” and/or in
temporarily frustrating the heck out of him - which is then rewarded by a most delicious orgasm
at the end! I also find pleasure torture helpful in learning strokes that one might find useful
during pain torture.

I suggest starting with at least a half-hour pleasure torture “practice” session. The purpose of
this practice is to talk to each other and watch your bottom so that you can find strokes/stroke
combinations the receiver likes/dislikes, and find techniques that are useful in bringing him
back from the brink of orgasm. This is feedback time, and you can allow and expect your bottom
to give you truthful assessments of what he likes and dislikes.

Try different things. Don’t be shy. If they aren’t fun for him, you can add them to the list of
things you use to delay orgasm. The enjoyable part about practicing pleasure torture that as
you get to know him, the better you become at knowing the signs that point to an impending
orgasm, and the longer you make him wait, the harder he is going to cum. I generally
recommend at least an hour of holding him on the edge of orgasm and if one hour is good, three
hours is better.

After your practice session, you can choose to go on to sessions where you only ask for feedback
afterward, so that your bottom can turn off the thinking/ relating section of his brain and just be
free to enjoy the delights you have in store for him. After one of these sessions, I like to ask,
what was the best part and what was the worst part. (Don’t be surprised if they say, there were
no worst part).

Pleasure torture is very sensual, you can use soft brushes, feathers, or fur as well as your hands
and mouth to give him a wonderful experience. The most important component of pleasure
torture is delaying orgasm or overloading him with pleasure.

Warning: Making someone cum this hard tends to win you some loyal friends, especially if they
tend to be orgasm-driven types. You may find you become surprisingly popular.

Pain Torture (My personal favorite)

I really like topping CBT scenes. I like the small nuances found in CBT. I also like that I can do
it for hours and hours and hours and not develop Mistress’ arm. I like the fact that when
performing CBT I have poor William literally by his nuts! I like the yin and yang (yank?) of CBT.

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I like mixing the ingredients of pleasure and pain to get the outcome I want. I think of it sort of
like painting with pain.

When doing pain torture, I balance the pain and the pleasure. I calculate pain as be negative
numbers and pleasure positive numbers. For example, if I want the pain level to be at a -4,
then I have a choice of putting in a “-4’s Worth” of pain alone, or putting -8 in pain and +4 in
pleasure or any combination. For example:

Pain -8 + Pleasure 4 = Net torture level of -4.

Pain -5 + Pleasure 1 = Net torture level of -4.

If you’ve practiced your pleasure torture then you already know how to give him the pleasure
part of the equation, now you get to add the pain part. (Though you do have the choice of
learning things on both side of the equation concurrently.)

I’ve found it best to start with pleasure and add pain for those who are not used to it and adjust
the pain as necessary. Some masochists, like William, will be able to start with pain and become
aroused, but you cannot expect this from everyone. The normal reaction to pain torture is
“shrinkage” but find out what is best for the both of you.

If you do it well then for the non-masochists, pain will enhance the pleasure, and pleasure will
mitigate pain.

For our wonderful maso-boys out there, the pleasure/pain heightens the pain/pleasure.

Positive Reinforcement

I am a firm believer in thanking or rewarding William for the screams that I coax out of him. I
think it is VERY important to acknowledge the suffering he is enduring for my enjoyment. When
I torture William I torture him as much as he wants for him, then a little (or a lot) more for me.
Torturing in that “for me” area is where I get my fun. That “more for me” is a gift, something he
would not choose on his own, and acts as a sort of tribute as he suffers in my honor (yeah I
know it’s corny, but I find no other way to describe it). The harder I push him past what he’d like
to give me, the more of a present it is. Showing him that I appreciate this pain is my reciprocal
gift to him.

Conversely, it important for a bottom to thank a budding sadist for torturing him. This helps to
quell the cognitive dissonance found when the Top hears tormented screams (generally
interpreted as unwanted) and the accompanying feelings of guilt for causing those screams.

The torture level that is a present to me.

Adjust as necessary

The torture level he wants.

The Role of the “Peni-o-meter”

When I am torturing, I can tell when it is too much merely by keeping my hand on his stiffie. (I
don’t torture limpies, anyone can do that.) If he starts to wilt I have two choices, I can remove
some of the pain input, or I can increase the pleasure input. In this way I can keep him stiff and

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happy (which increases his ability to take pain). Mr. Penis doesn’t lie, if he likes something he
will show you by stiffening, if he hates it, Mr. Limpie will quickly show up. It’s wonderful to have
such instant, reliable feedback when one is torturing.

Torture Categories

I like to break up the types of pain torture into categories. That way it frees your mind to think
up your ways of doing things; ways that suit your partner best.

Abrasion - just as it sounds, abrasion is removing skin. The amount of skin removed is up to
you. Fingernails, brushes, whips, pulling/ripping off closed clothespins, and the like can be
used to remove a either a microscopic or a visual chunk of skin. I’d also put an Indian Burn in
the Abrasion category. I also like to use abrasive facial scrub mixed with lube…all those little
pieces of grit doing their job to remove skin!

Branding & Cutting - This is a CBT101 class, and these items are out of the scope of such an
elementary workshop. Some would argue these things don’t belong anywhere in BDSM,
especially where there is a scrotum concerned. That is between you and your partner – if he’s up
for it, it’s a great reason to learn.

Compression - Compressing the scrotum, penis, wrapping, tying, clothespins, clips, clamps and
the like are means of compression. Squeezing testicles either by hand, or in a vise is a
compressive technique.

Constriction - Similar to Compression, but result is even more constriction of blood flow.
Cockrings (if tight) tying, wrapping. I like these because they give a little more diameter to the
cock, and cause the veins to pop out as well as make the penis/scrotum turn a nice purplish-
blue. It’s very scary for a guy to watch, especially when he knows what is going to happen when
you let go of whatever is constricting blood flow. I also like to wrap the balls low before sex, it
gives him a longer “stroke zone” and makes him feel like a “big man”. It is important to note that
when the scrotal skin is taut it is very thin, and rubbing a brush or neurowheel over such tightly
stretched skin can cause bleeding. Of course you may want bleeding.

Concussion - Striking the scrotum, penis, perineum to cause concussive force. In ball spanking
the effect is cumulative, so don’t be in a hurry to go from one to ten. One turns into ten after
successive repetition. Many men cannot take scrotal concussion, because it causes stomach
pain. But hitting the sides of his penis (taking care not to compress the urethra!) doesn’t carry
this side effect.

Start slowly with concussion and build if he can take it. It is important to hit from under and
not to trap the balls between your knee and his body, which is when you can truly damage him.
I use my hands most of the time as they give me the most feedback. You can also use your hand
to cover the area you want to hit, and hit the top of your hand. This makes a lot of scary noise,
but only transfers some of the concussive force to the area in question.

Compassion - Adding pleasure to the torture. I think just like one adds salt to cookies to make
the sugar taste sweeter, pain is the salt that sweetens the pleasure. I also think it is VERY
compassionate to APPRECIATE this pain he is going through for you, by complimenting him on
his ability to take pain or thanking him for taking the “just for you” pain.

Contrasts - Contrasts heighten/change sensations. Contrasts such as pleasure or pain, hot and
cold, fun and scary. Take his balls to hell and his cock to heaven! To show the value of

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contrasts put one hand in cold water and one in hot water, then put each hand in tepid water
and see what you think.

Electricity - We don’t use electricity very often because I personally only enjoy things when they
come from me. We just picked up a violet wand at an antique store that I did enjoy, especially in
a dark room. Also wet genitalia is more conductive than a dry genitalia, and the pain is sharper.
A TENS unit can also be applied to the scrotum and/or penis, though I personally find them
more useful for a buzzy background pain than for focused pain.

Fear - You’ve got his BALLS in your hands for heaven sakes, it’s easy to build fear. The fear you
will rip them off, the fear you will make a very painful (novice) mistake, the fear you will go
bananas…you know him, use fear to heighten the experience. I’d recommend using fear AFTER
you know him rather well, or there might not be a second date (assuming you want one).

Humor - I use humor in public “shows” because a lot of times there is tension in the audience
because of the amount of screaming/torture that is going on. Lots of guys have a hard time
watching us as they empathize. (In San Francisco the male tops were going to the DM and
asking her if she thought William was ok…she told them, “Look at his stiffie. He is fine!”). To
relieve some of this tension I will sometimes pull out my “Flipper” puppet.

Insertables - We don’t use catheters or sounds, though some people really seem to like that sort
of thing. We do sometimes use a butt-plug in conjunction with CBT. Urethral insertables carry
with them the threat of infection, so I’d insist on using sterile toys and getting reliable
experienced medical instruction if doing urethral insertions. Urethral insertion is more of a CBT
202 or even 303 issue.

Prickly/Pointy - The old standby, the neurowheel is the first thing that comes to mind, but
there are other things like an ikebana arranger, also known as a “frog”, as well as needles. The
needles we will save for the 202 class.

Temperature - Wax and ice are my two favorites. You can also use wax after ice or ice after wax,
though I’d recommend the latter. With waxing it is VERY important to use a candle that melts at
a very low temperature, such as a pure paraffin candle. Do not use candles with dyes, perfumes
or beeswax as these burn much too hot to be used safely. Essential oils or good old Ben Gay or
Icy Hot can also be considered temperature play. Painting one side of his balls with a heating oil
and the other side of his balls with a cooling oil can be interesting. Witch hazel is effective for
removing these essential oils

If you don’t want to pick bits of wax off of him later, you can cover him with saran wrap before
you do wax him, but I personally find the additional mess to be more than offset by the lovely
additional screaming that wax removal causes.

Be sure to hold the candle very high and lower it only when you know he can take it. Waxing
balls is not like waxing a back or abdomen, because of the sensitivity, so you have to be that
much more careful, especially with your AIM. Also, be sure to put something down to protect the
carpet (newspaper, etc.) if you are playing over carpet (pretty obvious I know).

Terror - Terror is very potent. I don’t recommend terror unless or until you are very, very
close to your partner. First you have to figure out what is terror for him.

When I want to size someone up to play with him I try to get the answers to these three
questions.

1. What do you like?

What are the items in his universe of enjoyable things?

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2. What do you hate?
What am I going to have you do strictly for me or what is going to be negative stimulus?

3. What are you afraid of?

What areas I need to stay completely away from or risk a freak out?

Getting real answers to these questions doesn’t necessarily mean you ask them directly. You
may get more reliable answers through the feedback loop of practice playing by using the “peni-
o-meter” method.

When you are playing with someone new, I would suggest sticking to playing in areas 1 and 2,
above. Playing in the “freak-out” zone can be scary for the bottom, but it can also be scary for
the top, because the top is responsible for any problem he or she causes.

With that said, playing with fear and or terror is emotionally binding for both the top and the
bottom, and can be very powerful because of the level of trust it takes to get there. True
screaming-and-crying-in-the-corner terror, or any fear or terror for that matter, must be
thoroughly negotiated and I would recommend the consent be confirmed immediately
beforehand.

SAFETY

We believe that torture should not only be safe, sane and consensual, but also REPEATABLE.
Safety is extremely important in CBT, both from a viral standpoint, and from a permanent
damage standpoint.

Latex - We don’t use latex with each other because we are a monogamous, fluid-bonded couple.
However, when we invite others to play with us, or when we play with others, we insist on gloves.

Even if you don’t plan on making your bottom ejaculate, there is still the question of the viruses
contained in pre-ejaculatory fluid. We don’t like latex, which is why we took the steps necessary
for becoming fluid bonded, but latex is necessary in today’s world. If you are not fluid-bonded,
please use it. I prefer gloves to condoms, but in public scenes I will use a condom because
somehow people think ejaculate is going to go flying into their eye and I don’t want to make
anyone watching uncomfortable. Although I have considered setting up a freestanding clear
shower curtain and putting up a line around our scene that says “Danger! Cum Zone - Do Not
Cross.

With everything in BDSM, start slowly and work your way up. The closer he is to ejaculating the
more pain he can take. Be sure not to get too carried away, especially when you are new to each
other. You can always add more pain, but it’s harder to take away pain (or repair trust).

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